- 2 days ago
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00:00One double room without Bath, the 16th, 17th and 18th.
00:25Yes, and if you'd be so good as to confirm by letter.
00:27Thank you so much. Goodbye.
00:28Have you made up the bill for room 12, Basil?
00:30No, I haven't yet, no.
00:31Well, they're in a hurry. Polly says they didn't get their alarm call.
00:35And, Basil, please get that picture up. It's been there for a week.
00:38It's been there since Monday, Sybil. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
00:42Good morning. Friday, set...
00:45Manuel, there is too much butter on those trays.
00:54There is too much butter on those trays.
00:58No, no, no, senor. Not on those trays.
01:03No, sir. Uno, dos, tres.
01:06No, dos, tres.
01:07No, hay mucho burro ali.
01:10Okay?
01:11Hay mucho burro ali.
01:14Ah, mantequilla.
01:15What?
01:15Okay?
01:16Mantequilla. Burro is, uh, is, uh, e, o.
01:21Ah, burro. Burro.
01:23E, o, e, o.
01:24Manuel, Manuel, por favor, momento.
01:26Si, si, si.
01:27I...
01:27Nothing, dear. I'm just dealing with it.
01:29He's been good, how you say...
01:31English.
01:33Mantiquilla.
01:34Solamente dos...
01:36Dos.
01:38Well, don't look at me.
01:39You're the one who's supposed to be able to speak it.
01:40Two pieces.
01:42Two each.
01:43Arriba, arriba.
01:44Si, senor.
01:46I don't know why you wanted to hire him, Basil.
01:49Because he's cheap and keen to learn, dear.
01:51And in this day and age...
01:52But why did you say you could speak the language?
01:55I learned classical Spanish, not the strange dialect he seems to have picked up.
01:58Be quicker than you could train a monkey.
02:01Morning, Miss Gatsby. Morning, Miss Tibbs.
02:03Good morning.
02:04Good morning.
02:08Basil.
02:09Yes, dear?
02:09Are you going to hang the picture?
02:11Yes, I am, dear. Yes, yes.
02:12When?
02:13Well, when I've...
02:13When I've... Hmm?
02:14Well, why don't you do it now?
02:15Well, I'm doing this, dear. I'm doing the menu.
02:17Well, you've got all morning to do the menu.
02:18Why don't you hang the picture now?
02:21Well?
02:22Yes, all right. I won't do the menu.
02:23I don't think you'll realise how long it takes to do the menu.
02:24But no, it doesn't matter. I'll hang the picture now.
02:26If the menus are late for lunch, it doesn't matter.
02:28The guests can all come and look at the picture until they are ready, right?
02:31Lower.
02:34Lower.
02:35Up a bit.
02:37Thank you, dear. Thank you so much.
02:39I don't know where I'd be without you.
02:41Land of the living, probably.
02:47Yes?
02:49Could we have our bill, please?
02:51Well, can you wait a minute?
02:52Well, I'm afraid we're a bit late for our train.
02:54We didn't get our alarm call.
02:57Right.
02:57I'm afraid we do have staff problems.
03:02I'm so sorry it's not all done by magic.
03:03Basil, are you doing the menu?
03:05No, I'm not doing the menu, dear.
03:06I'm doing the bill for these charming people who are in a hurry.
03:09I'm sorry to cause all this trouble,
03:11but the reason we're late is we didn't get our alarm call.
03:13Oh, dear.
03:14I am sorry.
03:15Basil, where didn't they get their alarm call?
03:16Because I forgot.
03:18I am so sorry I am not perfect.
03:21There you are.
03:22Here's the bill.
03:22Perhaps you'll pay my wife.
03:23I have to put the picture up.
03:25There aren't any dustbins to be cleaned out.
03:27Newsplay board.
03:29Good-bye.
03:36See you again.
03:40Don't forget the picture, Basil.
03:42I won't, dear.
03:43Leave it to me.
03:43I'm going out now.
03:44I expect it to be up when I come back.
03:47Drive carefully, dear.
03:50Good morning, Major.
03:51Good morning, Vauldy.
03:52I do apologise for the tardiness
03:53at the arrival of your newspaper this morning, Major.
03:56I will speak to them again,
03:57see if something can be done.
03:58Ah, more strikes.
03:59Gussman, post office.
04:01Oh, makes me want to cry, doesn't it?
04:02What's happened to the old idea
04:03of doing something for your fellow man?
04:05Of service.
04:06I mean, today, people just...
04:07Yes, I'm coming, I'm coming.
04:09Wait a moment.
04:11I treat you like dirt, you know.
04:12Of course, it's pure ignorance.
04:14We're the class of guests.
04:15Ah, Dolly Vera made a hundred.
04:17Did he?
04:17Yeah.
04:17Did he, really?
04:18Good for him.
04:19Good old Dolly.
04:20Well, well, well.
04:21Ah, thank you, Polly.
04:23Ah, we'll only stay until Sunday.
04:26Right, thank you.
04:28Oh, I thought you were going out, dear.
04:54What's this?
04:57I decided, Sybil, to advertise...
04:59How much did it cost?
05:00Oh, I have...
05:01Fifteen.
05:02Forty.
05:03Forty?
05:03I have told you where we advertise.
05:07Sybil, I know the hotel business.
05:09No, you don't, Basil.
05:10Sybil, we've got to try and attract a better class of person.
05:13Why?
05:14Well, we're losing tone.
05:16You're making money.
05:17Yes, yes.
05:18Just?
05:19Yes, but now we can try and build up a higher class of clientele.
05:23Turn away some of that riffraff.
05:24So long as they pay their bills, Basil.
05:26It's all that matters to you, Sybil.
05:28Money!
05:29This advertisement is a waste of 40 pounds.
05:31One moment.
05:32One moment, please.
05:35Well?
05:37Well?
05:37My dear woman, Sir Richard and Lady Morris arriving this evening for two nights.
05:41You see, they saw our advertisement in Country Life.
05:43I wish they were staying a week.
05:44Well, so do I.
05:45Might pay for the ad, then.
05:47Sybil, look, if we can attract this class of customer, I mean, the sky's the limit.
05:52Basil, 22 rooms is the limit.
05:54Have you seen the people in room six?
05:57They've never even sat on chairs before.
05:59They're the common... vulgarists, most...
06:01Hello.
06:16Got a room?
06:19I beg your pardon?
06:21Got a room for tonight, mate.
06:24Now, shall I have to see, sir?
06:25A single?
06:26Yeah.
06:27No, make it a double.
06:28I feel lucky today.
06:31Hello.
06:33Good morning.
06:38Only joking.
06:39No, we haven't...
06:39What?
06:40We haven't any rooms.
06:41Good day.
06:41Number seven is free, Basil.
06:43No, Mr. Tone is in number seven, dear.
06:45No, he left while you were putting a picture up, Basil.
06:48Have like each, sir.
06:49Just one case.
06:52In the car.
06:53The white sports.
06:55Fill this in, would you, sir?
06:57If you can.
06:57I hope you enjoy your stay, Mr. Brown.
07:04Manuel, would you fetch this gentleman's case from the car outside to take to room seven?
07:11He's not easy for me.
07:12What?
07:13He's not easy for me, entender.
07:15Ah, it's not easy for you to understand.
07:17Manuel, we're training him.
07:19He's from Barcelona.
07:20No, no.
07:22In Spain.
07:23Obtener la valisa.
07:25Okay?
07:26La valisa en el auto bianco sportif y a la sala siete, por favor.
07:37Pronto?
07:39He's impossible.
07:40What?
07:40He's impossible.
07:41It's perfectly simple.
07:42Manuel, si vas y busca mi equipaje que esté en el automóvil blanco y lo trae a la sala
07:49número siete.
07:50Señor, habla español.
07:52Oh, solo un poco, lo siento.
07:54Pero que he olvidado mucho.
07:56No, señor, habla muy bien.
07:57Muy, muy bien.
07:58Formidable.
07:59Gracias, gracias.
08:00Lo voy a coger ahora.
08:01Well, if there's anything else, I'm sure Manuel will be able to tell you, unless you seem
08:10to get on so well together.
08:12Ah, key.
08:13Hello, dear.
08:37Just doing the picture.
08:40Don't forget the menu.
08:43I beg your pardon?
08:45Don't forget the menu.
08:46I thought you said you want...
08:47Right, I'll do the menu.
08:51You could have had them both come by now if you hadn't spent the whole morning skulking
08:54in there listening to that racket.
08:57Racket?
08:58That's Brahms!
09:01Brahms' third racket!
09:06The whole morning?
09:08I had two bars.
09:11Ready to order?
09:13Ah, yeah.
09:13What's a grail frit?
09:15Grapefruit.
09:16Oh.
09:17And a creme pot, pot rouge?
09:20Or Portuguese, tomato soup.
09:22I'll have the grail frit.
09:24Now, balm, carousel.
09:27Lamb?
09:28Casserole.
09:28Oh, sounds good.
09:29Does it come with a smile?
09:30Comes with sprouts or carrots?
09:32Oh, a smile's extra, is it?
09:33You'll get one if you eat up all your sprouts.
09:35Wait, I...
09:38I beg your pardon?
09:46Oh, hello.
09:49Can I have some wine, please?
09:51The waiter is busy, sir,
09:52but I will bring you the carte de vin
09:54when I've finished attending to this gentleman.
09:56Oh, fine.
09:57No worry.
09:58Oh, good.
09:59How nice.
09:59I've been...
09:59I trust the beer is to your satisfaction, sir?
10:03Yeah.
10:04Fine.
10:05Ah, good.
10:06May I wish you bon appétit?
10:09Manuel?
10:12Would you fetch the wine list, please?
10:14Si, senor.
10:16The wine list.
10:18Si.
10:19The wine...
10:20Vino.
10:21Senor.
10:21No, no, no, no, no, no.
10:22The list.
10:24There, there, the list.
10:27The list there.
10:29The red...
10:30There.
10:33There.
10:34Ah.
10:35Have you got half a bottle of the Beaujolais?
10:45Yes.
10:46Oh, fine.
10:47Right, give it mine.
10:48Give it mine.
10:49Manuel, another great coup for David's 12, please.
10:51Manuel?
10:52I do a beg of a pardon.
10:53I apologize.
10:54I'm so sorry.
10:55I'm so sorry.
11:03Throw it away.
11:04Okay.
11:04Throw it away.
11:06Throw it away.
11:07Throw it away.
11:10Now!
11:12Throw it...
11:13Oh!
11:17Sorry.
11:18Sorry.
11:19What do you mean, throw?
11:20Throw!
11:20Oh!
11:22Oh!
11:23Sorry about that.
11:26No.
11:26I like a bit of cabaret.
11:28You, er...
11:29You left your sketch.
11:30Oh!
11:31Sorry.
11:31Oh, it's very good.
11:32Do you sell any?
11:33Enough to keep me in waitressing.
11:34Oh.
11:34One half-bottle of beer, shall they?
11:37Oh, dear.
11:40Syball?
11:41Someone at reception, dear.
11:47Yes.
11:47Yes.
11:48Well, yes.
11:49Well, I was wondering if you could offer me accommodation for a few nights.
11:52Well, have you booked?
11:53I'm sorry.
11:53Have you booked?
11:54Have you booked?
11:55Oh, no.
11:56Oh, dear.
11:56Why, are you a fool?
11:58No, no, we're not full.
12:00We're not full.
12:01Of course we're not full.
12:03Well, I'd like to...
12:04One moment, one moment, please.
12:08Yes?
12:08Er, single room.
12:09Your name, please.
12:10Could I have your name?
12:11Er, Melbourne.
12:11One second, please.
12:12Hello?
12:14Ah, yes, Mr. O'Reilly.
12:15Well, it's perfectly simple.
12:16When I asked you to build me a wall,
12:18I was rather hoping that instead of just dumping the bricks in a pile,
12:21you might have found time to cement them together,
12:23you know, one on top of the other in the traditional fashion.
12:27Could you fill it in, please?
12:29Oh, splendid.
12:31Ah, yes, yes, yes.
12:32Er, but when, Mr. O'Reilly?
12:34There, there, there.
12:36Yes, yes, yes, but when?
12:39Yes, yes, yes, yes.
12:41Ah, the flu.
12:42Yes.
12:43Both names, please.
12:45Yes, I should have guessed, Mr. O'Reilly,
12:47that of the potato famine, I suppose.
12:48Yeah, I beg your pardon?
12:50Would you put both your names, please?
12:52Well, would you give me a date?
12:54No, I only use one.
12:55You don't have a first name.
12:57No, I am Lord Melbury, so I simply sign Melbury.
13:03Go away.
13:04I'm so well sorry to have kept you waiting to watch it.
13:08I do apologise.
13:08Please do accept my forgiveness.
13:10Now, is there something, uh, something, anything,
13:13that I can do for you?
13:14Anything.
13:14Ah, yes, well, I have filled this in.
13:16Oh, please, don't bother with that.
13:17Now, a room, a special room, a single, a double, a suite?
13:21Well, we don't have any suites,
13:22but we have some beautiful doubles.
13:23Oh, no, no, no, no, just a single.
13:24Just a single, absolutely.
13:26How very wise, if I may say so, Your Honour.
13:28Yeah, with a bath.
13:28Oh, naturally, naturally.
13:32Naturellement.
13:33Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha.
13:34Ah, well, I shall, uh, I shall be staying for one or two nights.
13:37Oh, please, please.
13:38Manuel!
13:44Well, it's, it's rather grey today, isn't it?
13:46Oh, yes, it is rather.
13:47Yes, of course, usually down here, it's quite beautiful,
13:49but today is a, is a real old, uh, rotter.
13:54Manuel!
13:54Well, still, it's good for the wheat.
13:58Oh, yes, I suppose, sir.
13:59Oh, yes, I hear it's coming on wonderfully at the moment.
14:01Ah, thank God.
14:02Oh, I love the wheat.
14:04Oh, there's no sight like a field of wheat waving in the,
14:07waving in...
14:08Manuel!
14:12Well, how are you?
14:13I mean, if it's not a personal question.
14:15Well, it is a personal question.
14:16Well, let me get your cases for you.
14:17Oh, yes, thank you very much.
14:18You're just outside.
14:19Thank you, sir.
14:20I won't be alone, man.
14:24Well, you know, it's bringing a...
14:28Why don't you just put your address in there?
14:29Ah, I...
14:30May I, may I introduce my wife?
14:32Yes, we have, Mayor.
14:33Ah, my wife, may I introduce his lordship?
14:35Thank you, Basil, we've sorted it out now.
14:37Splendid, splendid.
14:39Now, I wonder, could I deposit this case with you?
14:42It's just a few valuables.
14:43Valuables, of course.
14:44Please, let me take it now.
14:45I'll have it put in the safe straight away.
14:47Uh, Sybil, would you put this in the safe, please?
14:49I'm just off to the kitchens, Basil.
14:50Yes, well, if you're too busy.
14:51Nice to have met you, Lord Melbury.
14:52Hope you enjoy your stay.
14:53Thank you so much.
14:54I'll do it then, then I'll do the picture.
14:55I'll put this away in one moment, your lord.
14:57Manuel, would you take these cases to room 21?
15:02Okay.
15:03Take to room 21.
15:07No entender.
15:09Trende las casas.
15:11Oh, it doesn't matter.
15:12I'll do it.
15:12Thank you, Manuel.
15:14Oh, I'll take them.
15:15No, no, no.
15:16See, see, see, go.
15:16Wait.
15:17Go and wait.
15:19Wait.
15:19Wait.
15:20Okay, wait.
15:21In there.
15:21Go and wait in there.
15:22Go and be a waiter in there.
15:24I do apologise, your lordship.
15:30I'm afraid he's only just joined us.
15:33It'll be quicker to train a monkey.
15:34Oh, do, er, do please follow me.
15:48I mean, if you're ready.
15:50There's no hurry.
15:50Oh, yes, yes.
15:51No, fine.
15:51Er, excuse me.
15:59I'm sorry to bother you.
16:00Er, would you mind moving to that table?
16:01Er, could I ask you, please, to move to that table over there?
16:04Er, could I ask you, please, to move to that table over there?
16:04Er, I'm so sorry to trouble you.
16:05Oh, we're halfway through.
16:06Thank you so much.
16:07This is, er, Lord Melbury's table, you see.
16:09What?
16:09Er, Lord Melbury, er, when he stays with us, he always sits at this table.
16:12Oh, why did they put us here, then?
16:14Er, an oversight on my wife's part.
16:15I'm so sorry.
16:16He's only just arrived, you see.
16:17Would you mind, Paulie?
16:19Er, would you help these people move to that table?
16:20Great food, behind your ears.
16:21Thank you so much.
16:22Come on, come on.
16:25Ah, Lord Melbury, do please come this way, Your Lordship.
16:37I have your table over here by the window, as usual.
16:42Just here.
16:44Thank you very much.
16:45Yes, it's welcome.
16:45Oh, my God.
16:49Oh, my God.
16:50He's killed you.
16:51Get over with your mules.
16:53Thank you so much.
16:55Lord Melbury, I really must apologize again.
17:07Oh, no, no, no, please, please, think nothing of it.
17:08Oh, but it was...
17:09No, no, no, no.
17:10Smallest of accidents could have occurred anywhere.
17:12Yes, but I mean...
17:13No, no, I've forgotten all about it.
17:15Well, that's most.
17:16I mean, you're really, uh, your Lordship.
17:17Would you allow me to offer you dinner here tonight as our guest?
17:22Oh, that's extremely kind of you.
17:23Unfortunately, I have an engagement tonight.
17:25Oh, actually, there is one thing.
17:29Oh, good, good.
17:30I was wondering, can you cash me a small check?
17:33I'm playing golf this afternoon.
17:35Oh, delighting.
17:36Yeah, I'd rather not go into the town.
17:38Absolutely.
17:38I mean, uh, how much?
17:40If it's not a rude question.
17:41No, well, uh, could you manage, um, 50...
17:44Oh, yeah, 100?
17:46Oh, absolutely.
17:51Oh, yes, I mean, uh, will 100 be enough?
17:54I mean, 150, 200, 160?
17:56Oh, yeah, well, now, let's see.
17:58It's dinner tonight, a few tips.
17:59Oh, and it's weekend, isn't it?
18:01Ah.
18:01Would 200 be all right?
18:04Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha.
18:05Oh, please.
18:07Oh, tremendous.
18:08Oh, I'm so happy.
18:10Oh, I'll send someone down to the town straight away
18:12and have it for you here when you get back.
18:14Yes, well, that'll be splendid.
18:16Oh, thank you, thank you a lot.
18:17Thank you so much.
18:18Oh, not at all.
18:18I mean, my, my privilege.
18:20Ah.
18:21Really, I mean, sure.
18:24Ah.
18:24What?
18:25Hello, dear.
18:27What are you doing?
18:29I'm kissing you, dear.
18:30Well, don't.
18:31Ah, I thought it might be nice.
18:32I'm sure it's some small sign.
18:33I heard about lunch.
18:35What?
18:36Oh, that, oh, think nothing of it.
18:38What?
18:38It was the smallest of accidents.
18:40Could have happened anywhere.
18:41Anywhere?
18:41First you move that nice family in the middle of their meal
18:43and then you attack Lord Melbury with a chair.
18:47Okay, sir, well,
18:47I've had a word with Lord Melbury about it.
18:50He was quite charming.
18:51Oh, it's delightful to have people like that staying here.
18:54Sheer class.
18:55Golf, bath, there's engagements,
18:58couple of hundred horses.
19:00Well, I've never seen such tatty cases.
19:02Of course you haven't.
19:04It's only a true upper class that would have tapped like that.
19:07It's the whole point.
19:07Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about.
19:10No, I don't.
19:10But don't ever move guests in the middle of a meal again
19:12and get that picture off.
19:15Darling.
19:16So, right.
19:20Ah, um,
19:22would you do me a favor?
19:23Uh, when you're down in the town this afternoon,
19:25uh, would you just pop,
19:27just between ourselves,
19:29don't mention my wife,
19:29pop into the bank
19:30and just...
19:32the fullulen,
19:34theوجe,
19:34don't mention my wife.
19:38It's all right.
19:39It'sいい.
19:39It's a great thing.
19:39Bring me let's go in the news.
19:39It would be,
19:40it would be so love you.
19:41It's been like,
19:45the midst of the battle.
19:48Come on, come on.
20:18Come on, come on.
20:48Come on, come on.
20:50Come on, come on.
20:52Come on, come on, come on.
20:54I'll never get it off.
20:56That's my holiday, do it then.
20:58Hello, Fawlty Towers.
21:00Hello, Fawlty Towers.
21:02Hello, Fawlty Towers.
21:04Hello, Brenda.
21:06Basil, it's six o'clock.
21:08Did you cash it?
21:10Yes, Mr Fawlty.
21:12Could I speak to you in the office?
21:14It's very important.
21:16Yes, I'm just going, dear.
21:18Thank you so much, Polly.
21:20Oh, good evening, Major.
21:26Evening, Fawlty.
21:28Unusual.
21:30Oh, why not indeed, yes.
21:32Why not?
21:34I've just been watching one of those nature films on television.
21:38Oh, yes?
21:39Did you know the female gibbon gestates for seven months?
21:43Seven months?
21:44Yeah.
21:45Well, I never.
21:46Here you are, Major.
21:47Seven.
21:48Oh, my word.
21:49Ah, good evening, Mr Waring.
21:51A gin and orange, a lemon squash, and a scotch and water, please.
21:54Certainly.
21:56Oh.
21:57Is there any part of the room you would like us to keep in mind from?
22:02We'll be over there, then.
22:06Seven.
22:07Well, well...
22:08Evening, Fawlty.
22:09Ah, good evening, Lord Melbury.
22:10Anywhere.
22:11Yes, anywhere, anywhere.
22:12Lord Melbury, may I offer you a little aperitif as our guest?
22:15Oh, that's very kind of you. Dry sherry, if you please.
22:18What else?
22:20Ah.
22:21Ah.
22:22Such...
22:23Oh, I don't know what.
22:24Je ne sais quoi.
22:25Exactly.
22:26Exactly.
22:27Ah, there you are, Sybil.
22:29Good evening, Major.
22:30Evening, Mrs Fawlty.
22:31There you are, Your Lordship.
22:33Oh, thank you very much.
22:34I see my little collection of coins tickles your interest.
22:37What?
22:38Oh, oh, yes, yes.
22:39Yes.
22:40Old British Empire, of course.
22:41Yes.
22:42Used to be quite a hobby of mine.
22:43A little investment too.
22:44Yeah, quite.
22:45Um, talking about, um, did you manage, er...
22:47Oh, yes.
22:48Yes, ma'am.
22:49There you are, Your Lordship.
22:50Oh, thank you very much.
22:51Yes.
22:52Oh, yes, you know, these sorts of things, they, their values soared this last couple of years.
23:06Have they?
23:07Oh, yes, now you take my advice.
23:08You get them revalued and insure them for the full amount.
23:11Yes.
23:12Yes, I will.
23:13You can't take any risks nowadays, I'm afraid.
23:15No, no.
23:16Well, I must be off.
23:17Well, thank you very much, Your Lordship.
23:18Oh, Basil.
23:19Yes, I'm just talking to Lord Malfrey, dear.
23:21Uh, gin and orange and lemon squash and a scotch.
23:24I do apologise.
23:25I was just talking to Lord Malfrey.
23:27Yes.
23:28Um, I was, um, I was thinking, um, you see, I am having dinner tonight, uh, with the Duke
23:34of Buckley.
23:35Uh, do you know him?
23:36Uh, no, not, not personally, no.
23:38Oh.
23:39Well, he's a great expert, you know, Sotheby's and all that.
23:42Is he?
23:43Well, now, if you like, I could take them with me, ask him to have a quick look at them
23:47and find their current value.
23:49Would you?
23:50Yes, yes, certainly, yes.
23:51Now, I'll be off in a few moments, you know.
23:53Well, I mean, that's just really silly.
23:54Basil!
23:55I'm talking to Lord Malfrey!
23:56A gin and orange, a lemon squash and a scotch and water.
24:00All right, all right!
24:06Oh, Mr. Paul, did you...
24:07Was that Lord Malfrey? Has he gone?
24:08I rang.
24:09Mr. Fawlty, I must speak with you.
24:10What?
24:11Why don't you see I'm busy?
24:12Please!
24:13It's very important.
24:14Can we talk in there?
24:15I can't!
24:16It's very important!
24:17I'm just, er, dealing with something important out here, civil.
24:20Yes, yes, all right.
24:21Yes, yes, well.
24:22Well, yes, yes, right, yes.
24:23It's about Lord Malfrey.
24:24Yes?
24:25He's not Lord Malfrey.
24:26He's a confidence trickster.
24:28I beg your pardon?
24:29Mr. Brown told me.
24:31Ah!
24:32Mr. Brown's from the CID.
24:33They've been watching Malfrey because he's pulling some big con trick in the town.
24:36They're going to arrest him as soon as he leaves here so as not to cause you embarrassment.
24:39But he asked me to tell you so that you wouldn't...
24:41Oh, how nice of you.
24:42Oh, please, Mr. Fawlty.
24:43Oh, I don't know what other tales Mr. Brown of MI5 has been impressing you with.
24:46He's a con man.
24:47Oh, yes, of course.
24:48It stands out a mouth, doesn't it?
24:49He's so common.
24:50Unlike that cockney git whose ulterior motives will soon no doubt become apparent to you,
24:55poor, innocent, misguided child that you are.
24:58That's it.
24:59What's going on?
25:00Nothing, my dear.
25:01Nothing at all.
25:02Mrs. Fawlty.
25:03Now, look.
25:04Yes, Polly.
25:05I don't know what she's...
25:06Mr. Brown is from the CID.
25:07He showed me identification.
25:09They're watching Malfrey.
25:10He's a confidence trickster.
25:11I see.
25:12What do you mean, you see?
25:14Let's have a look at these valuables.
25:15What are you doing, Sybil?
25:16Sybil, I forbid you to open that safe.
25:18Sybil, I forbid you to take that case home.
25:20Sybil, do not open that case.
25:22I forbid it.
25:23I have forbidden you.
25:24I never thought I would live to see the death.
25:26Why not?
25:27A peer of the rebel trusts to us.
25:30A case of animals.
25:31In trust.
25:45I'll call the police.
25:58They're already here.
25:59Mr. Brown's outside.
26:02Someone at reception, Basil.
26:04Oh.
26:05Um.
26:06All right.
26:07Uh.
26:08Good evening.
26:09I believe you were expecting us.
26:10No, darling.
26:11I was expecting somebody else.
26:12Sir Richard and Lady Morris.
26:13Yes.
26:14Yes, them as well.
26:15I'm sorry?
26:16How did you know?
26:17What?
26:18Oh, you're Sir Richard and Lady Morris.
26:19I do beg your pardon.
26:20I was just thinking...
26:21Uh, would you mind filling this out, please?
26:23Uh, we've given you room to, uh-huh.
26:24Ah, Faulty.
26:25Mr. Faulty to you, Lord Mulberry.
26:27I beg your pardon.
26:28Oh, nothing, please.
26:30Forget all about it.
26:31Ah, well...
26:32Uh, well...
26:33Uh, we've given you room...
26:34Uh, we've given you room to...
26:35Aha.
26:36Ah, Faulty.
26:38Mr. Faulty to you, Lord Mulberry.
26:39I beg your pardon?
26:41Oh, nothing, please.
26:42Forget all about it.
26:43Ah, well...
26:45The chair of the chair...
26:46Uh...
26:48Ah, well...
26:49Ah, well, let's see, check for 200 pounds.
26:52Ah, thank you so much.
26:55Now, about my priceless collection of coins.
26:58Oh, yes, do you still...
26:59Do I still want you to take them to be valued by the Duke of Buckley, my lord?
27:02Oh, yes.
27:02No, I don't, because we just heard that the Duke of Buckley is dead.
27:06Yes, got his head knocked off by golf ball.
27:08Tragic, tragic.
27:10Well, how are you, Lord Malbreath?
27:12How are you, then?
27:14All right, mate?
27:15How's me old bucker?
27:17Any valuables to deposit, Sir Richard?
27:20Any bricks or...
27:22I do apologise.
27:24You bastard!
27:27I'm sure you'll like it.
27:30We'll have your bags brought up.
27:32Oh, and may I introduce your wife?
27:33Hello, Lord Malbreath.
27:37Bastard!
27:40Please, um, think nothing of it, 12.
27:42Do, uh, do, please excuse me one moment.
27:50Whoa!
28:08How are you doing? We're leaving. Oh don't. Please stay. Your light is here.
28:12I've never been in such a place in my life.
28:20You snobs! You stupid, stuck-up, toffee-nosed, half-footed, upper-class piles of...pots!
28:40Just one. Sorry, Mr Falsey. Just one.
28:50Sorry, Mr Falsey.
29:02Well, I'd better put the picture up.
29:07Thank you, Polly, for the...
29:09Well done, Manuel.
29:14Que?
29:15Olé.
29:18Sorry about that, Mr Falsey. Can I buy you a drink?
29:20No, no, I'd better put this up as well.
29:22Basil?
29:25A gin and orange!
29:28A lemon squash!
29:29And the scotch and water fades!
29:32Right!
29:35Come on!
29:36Oh, my God!
29:38Well done!
29:40Look your golden cards...
29:45Let's go!
29:47Auna!
29:48Oh, my God!
29:49Ooh, man!
29:51Oh!
29:53Ooh!
29:54Okay.
29:55All my balls, Ed?
29:58wider
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