- hace 6 semanas
With Sybil in hospital for a few days to have an operation for an ingrown toenail, Basil is left on his own at the hotel to cope with a group of German tourists and the need for the regular semi-annual fire drill. He's not having much success with either. The guests confuse the burglar alarm with the fire alarm and when Manuel does start a fire in the kitchen, no one pays attention. Basil suffers a rather severe blow to the head leading him to insult his German guests by making constant references to the war.
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00:00music
00:25so you're you're sure you'll be all right
00:27what person?
00:28I said you're sure you'll be all right
00:29will you get me my bed jacket?
00:31uh bed jacket
00:32in the drawer the blue one in the drawer
00:35now you won't forget the fire drill tomorrow will you?
00:40no I won't dear no I can cope you know
00:42this one
00:43that's not blue
00:44well it's got blue things on it
00:46they're flowers and I didn't ask for the one with the flowers did I?
00:49no you didn't quite right
00:50no I only picked that one up to annoy you actually
00:52I mean what have you got all this stuff for?
00:55what?
00:55I mean you're only here three days
00:56you're going to play charades every night
00:58this one
00:59is it blue?
01:00oh it's bluish I suppose
01:01now you will remember to collect the stuff from Thomas's won't you?
01:06yes I will
01:07oh and I forgot to scrape the mould off the cheddar this morning so remind you
01:11right
01:11and do try and find time to get the moosey's head up
01:16oh
01:16it's been sitting there for two weeks Basil
01:19yes yes yes
01:21I don't know why you bought it
01:22it will lend the lobby a certain ambience Sybil
01:25there's a touch of style about it
01:27there's got a touch of mange about it
01:29that is not so
01:30it's got things living in it Basil it's nasty
01:33it is not nasty it is superb
01:35I'm not going to argue with you Basil just get it up out of the way I don't want to snag any more cardies on it and will you get me my telephone book please
01:43I mean it's not as if I don't have enough to do I mean I'm on my own the Germans are arriving tomorrow
01:46not till lunchtime you can do it in the morning
01:48I've got the fire bill in the morning
01:50well that only takes ten minutes in the bag
01:52oh I thought slavery had been abolished
01:54don't you ever think about anybody but yourself
01:58oh
01:59in the bag
02:00oh yes in the bag yes yes let me do it
02:02you just lie there with your feet up and I'll go and carry you another fun way to lime creams
02:06I am actually about to undergo an operation Basil
02:10oh yes how is the old toenail
02:13still growing in
02:14still burrowing its way down to the bone
02:16still macheteing its way through the nerve
02:18nasty old nail
02:20it's still hurting if that's what you mean Basil
02:23well it'll be out in the morning poor little devil
02:25wonder if they'd mount it for me just for old times
02:28I'm sure it's worth asking you could hang it on the wall next to the moose they'd go rather well together
02:33ah there you are come along out you go
02:36oh were you talking to me I'm sorry I thought there was a dog in here
02:41oh no no dogs in here
02:43I wouldn't bet on it
02:44oh no not allowed now come along you're in the way
02:46er Fawlty's the name Mr Fawlty
02:48let's sit you up on it
02:49thank you sister
02:51now pop that under your tongue
02:53you're still here
02:55apparently
02:57the doctor's coming
02:59my god a doctor I mean here in the hospital whatever can we do
03:03you can leave
03:05why do they call you sister is it a term of endearment
03:09now look Mr Fawlty I'm not going to ask you again
03:12presumably you wouldn't mind if I said goodbye to my wife
03:14she is under the knife tomorrow
03:15it's an ingrowing toenail
03:18oh you know do you well that'll help
03:20take care now and if you can think of any more things for me to do don't hesitate to call
03:25finished
03:26just thank you so much
03:28not at all
03:29charmed I'm sure ingrowing toenail right foot
03:32you'll find it on the end of the leg
03:34bye bye dear
03:38Mr Fawlty
03:40Dr Fawlty
03:42oh oh how do you do doctor
03:44you've just seen your wife
03:45yes yes just saying goodbye well au revoir
03:48yes
03:49well it is a very simple operation
03:51but it will be quite painful afterwards
03:53with it with it oh dear
03:55just for a time
03:56but please
03:57don't worry
03:58no well
03:59I'll try not to
04:00quite
04:01quite painful
04:02yes
04:11evening Major
04:12evening Fawlty
04:13Hampshire one
04:14did it
04:15oh isn't that good
04:16how splendid
04:17oh Fawlty
04:18how's
04:19how's
04:20my wife
04:21that's it
04:22fine absolutely fine
04:23they're taking it out tomorrow morning
04:24is she
04:25good
04:26no not her the nail
04:27they won't have operated till tomorrow
04:28what
04:29the nail
04:30they're taking it out tomorrow
04:31well how did she get a nail in her
04:33no I thought I told you Major
04:35no she's having a toenail out
04:36what just the one of them
04:38well it's an ingrowing one Major
04:40oh well if it's causing you pain you have it out
04:42exactly
04:43exactly
04:44so I'm on my own now
04:45start running this place properly
04:46so you aren't your own are you
04:48apparently
04:49well she won't be away for long will she
04:51no no no no
04:52not unless it's a serious mistake
04:53you've always got Elsie in help you
04:55who
04:56Elsie
04:57well she er
04:58she left a couple of years ago Major
05:00funny I thought I saw her yesterday
05:02no I don't think so
05:03she's in Canada
05:04strange creatures women
05:06well can't stand around all
05:08I knew one once
05:09spanky looking girl tall you know
05:12involved with a banker
05:13really
05:14don't remember the name of the bank
05:16well don't mind
05:17I I must have been keen on her
05:19because I
05:20because I took her to see
05:22India
05:23India?
05:24at the Oval
05:26fine match
05:28a marvellous finish
05:29now Sonny had to get 33 in about
05:31a half an hour
05:32and she went off to power
05:34brother of Hans or something
05:35women
05:36never came back
05:38what a shame
05:40and the strange thing was
05:42that throughout the morning
05:43she kept referring to the Indians as
05:45niggers
05:46no no no no no
05:47I said
05:48niggers are the West Indians
05:50these people are wogs
05:53oh no no no
05:54she said
05:55all cricketers
05:56are niggers
05:57they do get awfully confused
05:59don't they
06:00they're not thinkers
06:01I say it with Sybil everyday
06:02I I do wish I could remember her name
06:03she's still got my wallet
06:05as I was saying
06:06no capacity for logical thought
06:09who?
06:10women
06:11oh yes yes yes yes
06:12I thought you meant Indians
06:14no no no no
06:15wasn't it Oscar Wilde who said
06:16they have minds like Swiss cheese
06:18what do you mean hard?
06:20no no full of holes
06:22really?
06:24Indians?
06:25no no women
06:26oh
06:27yes can we help you?
06:28hello
06:29hello
06:30you see
06:31three years at college
06:32she doesn't know the time of day
06:33oh
06:34about two minutes to six
06:35what are you looking for?
06:36my German book
06:37oh we've got some Germans
06:38arriving tomorrow morning major
06:39so
06:40Polly's brushing up
06:41another one of her languages
06:42Germans
06:43coming here
06:44oh just for a couple of days major
06:46I don't care much for Germans
06:48well I know what you mean
06:49but
06:50bunch of cruts
06:51that's somebody all
06:52all of them
06:53bad eggs
06:54well yes forgive and forget major
06:55god knows how the bastard
06:57still
06:58I'd better put the moose up
07:00well you've got to love them
07:02I suppose
07:03haven't you?
07:04Germans?
07:05no no no women
07:06I hate Germans
07:08love women
07:09what about German women?
07:11good card players
07:13but mind
07:14I wouldn't give them time of day
07:16found it
07:18I don't know what you're
07:19bothering with that for
07:20well they said some of them
07:21didn't speak English
07:22well that's their problem isn't it
07:23I don't know why she's going to
07:25complicate everything
07:26urgh
07:27got her cardie did you?
07:37fine Joe
07:38nearly six o'clock
07:40well dear
07:41is it?
07:42yes well when you're ready
07:43I might have a fruit juice
07:45or something
07:46yes well I'll open up
07:47the moment I've done this major
07:48yes
07:49no no no immediate hurry
07:50drunken old sod
07:52holly
07:54holly
07:56holly
07:58oh
08:00manuel
08:01oh
08:02oh
08:03yes faulty towers hello
08:08yes faulty towers hello
08:11I was just doing it you stupid woman
08:14I just put it down to come here to be reminded by you to do what I'm already doing
08:18what is the point of reminding me to do what I'm already doing
08:21I mean what is the bloody point I'm doing it aren't I?
08:25yes yes I picked it up yes
08:28no no I haven't had a chance yet I've been at it solidly ever since I got back
08:31yes I will yes no I haven't yet but I will yes yes yes I know it is yes I'll try and get it cleared up anything else I mean would you like the hotel moved a bit to the left or
08:42yes right well enjoy the operation dear let's hope nothing goes wrong wish it was an ingrained tongue
08:48yes
08:50yes
08:51oh it's the admirable Crichton well
08:54er you call son
08:56last week but not to worry
08:58okay
08:59oh Buddha
09:00look er go and get me a hammer
09:02er
09:03como
09:04hammer
09:05hammer
09:06oh a hammer sandwich
09:07oh do I have to go through this every time
09:09look a hammer
09:11my hamster
09:12no not your hamster
09:13no not your hamster
09:14how can I knock a nail in with your hamster
09:16well I could try
09:17no it doesn't matter all right
09:18I'll get it you come here and tidy
09:20you know tidy
09:21oh tidy
09:22yes I get hammer and hit you on the head with it
09:24hammer hammer hammer
09:27how are you sir
09:29you see I speak English well
09:31I learn it from a book
09:33hello
09:35I am English
09:37hello
09:39how are you sir
09:46I can speak English
09:51oh hello major how are you today
09:56I'm fine thank you
09:59it's a beautiful day today
10:02is it
10:03oh yes yes I suppose it is
10:05yes I can speak English
10:08I learned it from a book
10:11did you
10:12did you
10:13did you
10:14oh there you are Fawlty
10:15yes I'm just going to open up major
10:17oh fine
10:18I say that that's a remarkable animal you have there Fawlty
10:22where did you get it
10:23er Samson's in the town
10:25really
10:26what was it expensive
10:27er 12 pounds I think
10:29good
10:30oh
10:31Japanese was it
10:33Canadian I think major
10:36yeah I didn't know the
10:38Canadian it's as clever as that
10:39my God
10:41it's started early
10:46Polly
10:47what's that smell
10:48flowers
10:49I just got them from the garden
10:50well what are you stinking the place out with those for
10:52what's up with the plastic ones
10:54being ironed
10:55oh will you answer that please I'm trying to put this up
11:01Fawlty Towers
11:02oh hello mrs. Fawlty
11:04I'm doing it I'm doing it now
11:06tell her I'm doing it now
11:08he says he's doing it now how's the nail
11:10I wish it was this one
11:12there tell the tyrant queen her carnies are safe forever
11:17Mr. Moose is up
11:19it's done
11:20done
11:21done
11:22it's off
11:26it's down again
11:28did you leave us a warm love
11:29give it to me
11:30give it to me
11:31oh
11:32no he just fell over man well
11:34and he seems to have got himself jammed over the swivel chair
11:36oh Mr. Fawlty
11:37oh right
11:38and the flowers have just fallen on him
11:39no everything else is fine
11:41he's up
11:46good
11:47up
11:48up
11:49he's good
11:50very good
11:51right
11:52good
11:59he's good
12:00he's good
12:01oh what is
12:07right
12:08well go on get back to your work
12:09oh see see see
12:10the flowers
12:14good morning
12:15good morning
12:16you know there's a fire drill in a few minutes do you
12:17no
12:18no we didn't
12:19you hadn't read the notice
12:20no
12:21right well when you hear the bell if you'd be so kind as to get out for a few moments we have to clear the building
12:25thank you so much
12:26oh
12:27Mr. Fawlty you know it's nearly 12
12:28yes
12:29well the fire drill
12:30yes I hadn't forgotten you know I just told somebody I can't cope
12:33I mean you know what you're doing do you
12:35help get people out of the bedrooms upstairs
12:37while learning two oriental languages yes
12:39Mr. Fawlty
12:40yes
12:41who else is doing the upstairs
12:42only you it doesn't take a moment
12:43yes but I'm only here at mealtimes
12:45so
12:46well what happens if there's a fire when I'm not here who does the upstairs then
12:49well we'll worry about that when we come to it shall we what's the panic
12:53there's always going to be an argument about everything
12:57hello Fawlty Towers
12:59oh what is it now can't you leave me in peace
13:02yes yes we're just going to have it I hadn't forgotten
13:05yes I know I know I need the key it's on the top of the
13:09well where is it
13:10well what you put it in there for nobody's going to steal it are they
13:16yes yes I know that you know but I don't do it yes yes I do now thank you so much
13:20I mean why has she got the complicated I put something down I know where it is so she has to come along and move the damn thing so that I can't find it where it is
13:27well what she put that on oh I might forget sorry sorry major only the burglar alarm sorry
13:34sorry mr. Tibbs what
13:36that was the burglar alarm fire drills not for a couple of minutes sorry excuse me
13:39excuse me
13:41no no my wife left the excuse me
13:43yes
13:44sorry that wasn't the fire bell sorry that was just the
13:46I thought there was a drill
13:47yes there is at 12 o'clock but not yet
13:49but it is 12 o'clock
13:50well not quite thank you excuse me
13:52yes
13:53will I make it 12 o'clock
13:54I'm afraid that wasn't the
13:55what time do you make it major
13:56look burglars about I think
13:57look it doesn't matter what time he makes it it hasn't started yet
14:00what
14:01it hasn't started yet
14:02but that was the bell wasn't it
14:03no he means the drill hasn't started yet
14:06what drill we didn't hear a drill
14:08no no no look look
14:10that was the burglar alarm
14:11see
14:12the burglar alarm
14:13yes
14:14are there burglars?
14:15evidently
14:16no no what's the matter with you all it's perfectly simple
14:17we have the fire drill when I ring the fire bell
14:20that wasn't the fire bell right
14:22well how were we supposed to know that wasn't the fire bell
14:24because it doesn't sound like the fire bell
14:26it didn't
14:27it didn't
14:28no it didn't
14:29the fire bell is a different it's a semitone higher
14:32at least anyway the fire drill doesn't start till 12 o'clock
14:36it is 12 o'clock
14:37well it is now but that's because we've been standing about arguing about it
14:41look
14:42how on earth could you expect us to tell which bell is which
14:45oh
14:46we haven't heard them yet have we
14:48you want to hear them?
14:49right suits me
14:50here's the burglar alarm
14:51ought we to catch them first
14:53there aren't any
14:54then why does she alarm?
14:55keep going
14:56all right
14:57got that?
14:58right
14:59what's happening now?
15:00now here's the fire bell
15:01right?
15:02it's a completely different sound
15:04listen
15:08well where are you going?
15:09well there is a drill isn't there?
15:11no no no no no no no no this is so that you can hear the bell so you know in a moment when I ring the bell
15:17what are you doing?
15:18what are you doing?
15:19will you come back?
15:20we're going offline
15:21no just listen to it you old fool
15:24listen to it
15:25fire fire everybody else
15:27no
15:28will you shut up
15:30oh
15:31will you shut up
15:32it's not fire it's only bell
15:34where are you going?
15:35upstairs
15:36there isn't a drill yet I'm just showing them what the bell sounds like
15:39now will you go in there go help chef
15:41chef not here
15:42well go and go and start the chip
15:44yes when bell go again
15:46stand
15:47for what?
15:48no fire only practice tell him Polly
15:49thank you
15:50thank you ladies and gentlemen
15:51thank you so much
15:52perhaps they're upstairs
15:53what's happening now?
15:56now
15:57we're having it
16:00now are we all agreed on what the fire bell sounds like?
16:03yes
16:04yes
16:05well now that's settled we'll have the fire bill which will commence in exactly 30 seconds from now
16:10thank you so much
16:14what are you doing?
16:18I mean are you just going to stand there?
16:22well what do you suggest?
16:23well couldn't one or two of you go in the bar and a few in the dining room I mean use your imagination
16:27what?
16:28well this is supposed to be a fire drill
16:30there's only a few seconds
16:32right right well stay where you are because obviously if there was a fire you'd all be standing down here like this in the lobby wouldn't you?
16:39why'd we bother we should let you all burn?
16:45oh no no no no please
16:47no no no
16:49No!
16:51Oh, God!
16:53Oh, my God!
16:55Oh, my God!
16:57Oh, my God!
16:59Oh, my God!
17:01Oh, my God!
17:03Oh, my God!
17:05Oh, my God!
17:07No, no, there aren't any major.
17:09It went off by accident.
17:11Oh, come on and join us.
17:13Oh, thank you, thank you so much!
17:15Fire! Fire! Fire!
17:17No! No! Yes!
17:19Will you get back to now? Yes! Yes!
17:21No!
17:23Shut up! I mean, just get over here.
17:25Please, Mr. Barney, it's fire!
17:27Did you hear what I said? No, but it's fire!
17:29There's no fire! It's only drill!
17:31It's fire! It's fire! It's fire!
17:33No! No! No!
17:37I think there's no fire!
17:39Everybody's out upstairs!
17:41No man will listen to none of them!
17:43There is no fire!
17:45You know, I'll keep the fire!
17:47Well, I'll keep the fire apartment happy for another six months!
17:49And why be bothered?
17:51Will you shut up?
17:53Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
17:57Come back in now.
17:59I've never had it!
18:01I've never had it!
18:03Shut up!
18:05Yes, I will!
18:07Haven't told you I have a bunch of cheddar!
18:09Oh!
18:10Forty! Mr. Forty!
18:11Yes!
18:12This is an awful round!
18:13Yes, I know!
18:14Right, right!
18:15Thank you!
18:16You have a bunch of gif.
18:17You have a bunch of gif.
18:18If you don't stop this!
18:19Then, let me...
18:20You have a bunch of gif.
18:21You have a bunch of gif!
18:22Yes, you have a bunch of gif.
18:23You have a bunch of gif.
18:28Right, ladies and gentlemen.
18:29Can I have everyone down here in the lobby?
18:32Yes, sorry.
18:33Sorry, sorry to disturb you, Miley.
18:35But there is something that I think I ought to mention.
18:38I'm not quite sure how this has happened at this hotel before
18:44and I'm not quite sure how it's started now.
18:46What is it?
18:47Well, the point is, can I put it this way?
18:52Fire!
18:53What?
18:55Fire!
18:56Fire!
18:58Fire!
18:59Where?
18:59Father!
19:00Fire!
19:01Fire!
19:03Fire!
19:04Fire!
19:05Fire!
19:07Fire!
19:07Fire!
19:08Fire!
19:09Fire!
19:10Fire!
19:11Fire!
19:12Fire!
19:13Fire!
19:14Where's the key?
19:15Where is the key?
19:16I mean, would you believe it?
19:17I mean, would you believe it?
19:18The first time we've ever had a fire here in this hotel
19:21and somebody's lost the key!
19:23I mean, isn't that typical of this place?
19:25Oh, thank you, God!
19:26Thank you so bloody much!
19:28That's a glass!
19:30What?
19:31That's a glass!
19:32That's a glass!
19:33That's a glass!
19:34That's a glass!
19:35That's a glass!
19:36That's a glass!
19:41Hello!
19:42Thank you!
19:43Thank you!
19:44Thank you!
19:45Open the door!
19:46Pull!
19:47Pull!
19:48Pull, man!
19:49Pull!
19:50Guys!
19:51Open the door!
19:52Hello!
19:53Hello!
19:54Hello!
19:55Hello!
19:56Hello!
19:57Hello!
19:58Pull!
19:59Pull, man!
20:00Pull!
20:01Guys!
20:02Open the door!
20:03Yes!
20:04Hello!
20:07Hello!
20:08Hello!
20:10Hello!
20:11Hello!
20:14Well, thank you for coming to see me.
20:39Oh, not at all. I was just...
20:44How are you feeling?
20:45A fire!
20:46It's all...
20:47A fire!
20:48It's out. There's nothing.
20:49Oh, my God. Where is it? What are they?
20:51What are you doing?
20:52Gotta get back.
20:53Basil, will you get back into bed?
20:55What is it now?
20:57I'm going to call someone if you don't get back into bed.
20:59Listen, Simo, please. I'll handle this if you don't mind.
21:02Now, what sort of a room do you want?
21:04Basil!
21:05I can't stand around chattering all day. I've got to get back.
21:08Basil, you are not well. The doctor says you've got concussion.
21:11You must rest.
21:12I'll rest when I get to the hotel.
21:13I've just spoken to Polly. They are managing personally well.
21:16Do you know what that fire extinguisher did?
21:18It exploded in my face.
21:20I mean, what is the point of a fire extinguisher?
21:22It sits there for months, and when you actually have a fire,
21:25when you actually need the bloody thing, it blows your head off.
21:28I mean, what is happening to this country is bloody Wilson.
21:31That's a lot of noise.
21:33Now, what are you doing out of your bed?
21:36Going home, thank you so much.
21:38Yes, well, we'll let the doctor decide that now, shall we?
21:40No, let's not.
21:41Now, come along.
21:42Don't touch me. I don't know where you've been.
21:44Yes, yes.
21:45We must have out your jokes.
21:47Yes, we must, mustn't we?
21:49My God, you're ugly, aren't you?
21:53Basil?
21:54Hmm?
21:55I'll get the doctor.
21:56You need a plastic surgeon, dear, not a doctor.
22:00You talk to sister like that. Get back into bed.
22:02You've not seen her realise that I'm needed at the hotel.
22:05No, you're not. It's running beautifully without you.
22:08Polly cannot cope!
22:09Well, she can't fall over waiters, or get herself jammed under desks,
22:13or start burglar alarms, or lock people in burning rooms,
22:15or fire fire extinguishers straight in her own face.
22:18But I should think the hotel can do with that.
22:20They're sort of coping for a couple of days.
22:21What do you think, Basil?
22:23What?
22:24Oh, hello, Doctor.
22:25Out of bed, Mr Fawlty?
22:26Ah, sort of. Oh, there they are.
22:27Well, better get back into bed.
22:29I feel a little bit woozy.
22:31You will for a time, Mr Fawlty. You will.
22:33Yes, quite, quite.
22:35You should get as much rest as you can.
22:38As much rest as you can.
22:40As much rest as you can.
22:42I have a window.
22:44I have a window.
22:48Oh, hello.
23:05Gnädiges Fräulein,
23:06können Sie mir sagen, wann das Mittagessen serviert wird, bitte?
23:09Oh, my nur.
23:10Fünf Minuten.
23:11Vielen Dank.
23:12Wiedersehen.
23:19Manuel?
23:20Oh, Mr Fawlty.
23:21Ah, good evening.
23:22Are you all right now?
23:23Perfectly, thank you. Take this to the room, please, dear.
23:25Are you sure you're all right?
23:27Perfectly, thank you.
23:28Right as rain.
23:29You okay?
23:30Fine, thank you, dear.
23:31You go and have a lie down.
23:32Okay.
23:33Ah, there you are.
23:34Will you take my case?
23:35How did you get there?
23:36What?
23:37Oh, never mind.
23:38Take it.
23:39Take it upstairs.
23:40Okay.
23:41Take it.
23:42Take it.
23:43I go get Polly.
23:44I've already had one.
23:45Take it.
23:46Take it.
23:47Take it.
23:48Take it.
23:49Take it.
23:50I go get Polly.
23:51I've already had one.
23:52Take it.
23:53Take it now.
23:54God, the people I have to deal with.
23:57Pressen Sie Deutsch?
23:58I beg your pardon?
24:00Entschulding Sie bitte.
24:01Kennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?
24:03I'm sorry, could you say that again?
24:05You speak German?
24:07Oh, German.
24:08I'm sorry.
24:09I thought there was something wrong with you.
24:10Oh, of course.
24:12German.
24:13You speak German?
24:15Well, a little.
24:16I get by.
24:17Ein bisschen.
24:18Ah, wir wollen ein Auto mieten.
24:20Well, why not?
24:21Bitte.
24:22Yes, a little bit tricky.
24:23Would you mind saying it again?
24:24Please.
24:25Could you repeat?
24:26Amplify?
24:27You know, reattr...
24:28Yes, yes.
24:29Wir.
24:30Well, we'll come back to that.
24:31Wollen.
24:32Voluntary.
24:33Ein Auto mieten.
24:34Auto.
24:35Auto.
24:36Oh, I see.
24:37You're volunteering to go out to get some meat.
24:39Not necessary.
24:40We have meat here.
24:43We have meat here in the building.
24:52Oh, Polly, just explaining about the meat.
24:54Oh, we weren't expecting you.
24:56Oh, weren't you?
24:57They're Germans.
24:58Don't mention the war.
24:59I see.
25:00Well, Mrs Fawlty said you were going to have a rest for a couple of days, you know, in the hospital.
25:04Idle hands get in the way of the devil's work, Fawlty.
25:08Now...
25:09Right, well, why don't you go and have a lie down and I can deal with this?
25:11Yes, yes.
25:12Good idea.
25:13Good idea, Elsie.
25:14Yes.
25:15Bit of a headache, actually.
25:16We don't think you're well, Mr Fawlty.
25:17Well, perhaps not, but I'll live longer than you.
25:21You must have hurt yourself.
25:23My dear woman, a blow on the head like that is worth two in the bush.
25:28Oh, no.
25:29But it was a nasty knock.
25:31Mmm.
25:32Would you like one?
25:33Next, please.
25:34Polly, are these Germans too?
25:36Oh, yes, sir.
25:37I can do it.
25:38Right, right.
25:39Here's the plan.
25:40I'll stand there and ask them if they want something to drink before the war.
25:44Before their lunch.
25:46Before their lunch.
25:47Don't mention the war.
26:02Can we help you?
26:06Are you speaking English?
26:07Of course.
26:08Ah, wonderful.
26:09Wunderbar.
26:10Ah, please allow me to introduce myself.
26:12I am the owner of Fawlty Towers.
26:15And may I welcome your war.
26:17Your war.
26:18You war.
26:19You war.
26:20And hope that your stay will be a happy one.
26:23Now, would you like to eat first or would you like a drink before the war?
26:27Ning.
26:28That.
26:29Our trespasses will be tied up with piano wine.
26:31Sorry.
26:32Sorry.
26:33Oh, come on.
26:34Such a shrapnel in the war.
26:36Korean.
26:37Korean.
26:38Sorry.
26:39Korean.
26:41We will eat now.
26:42Oh, good.
26:43Please, do allow me.
26:44May I say how pleased we are to have some Europeans here now that we are on the continent?
26:47Can I speak to Dr Finn, please?
26:49I didn't vote for it myself, quite honestly.
26:51But now that we are in, I am determined to make it work.
26:53So I would like to welcome you all to Britain.
26:55The place is grilled, but that doesn't matter.
26:56There is life in the old thing yet.
26:57Wait a moment.
26:58Got a bit confused.
26:59Oh, yes.
27:00The place is grilled.
27:01In fact, the whole room is a bit warm, isn't it?
27:02I'll open a window.
27:03Have a look.
27:04And the veal chop is done with rosemary.
27:06Funny.
27:07Thought you'd go to Canada.
27:08And it is delicious and nutritious.
27:11In fact, it's vealy good.
27:13Vealy good.
27:14Vealy good.
27:15The veal is good.
27:16Yes.
27:17Doesn't matter.
27:18Doesn't matter.
27:19Never mind.
27:20May we have two ex-mayonases, please?
27:21Certainly.
27:22Why not?
27:23Why not indeed?
27:24We are all friends now, eh?
27:25A prawn cocktail.
27:26All in the markets together.
27:27Old differences forgotten and no need at all to mention the war.
27:30Sorry.
27:31What was it again?
27:32The prawn cocktail.
27:33Oh, prawn.
27:34That was it.
27:35When you said prawn, I thought you said war.
27:37Oh, the war.
27:38Oh, yes.
27:39Completely slipped my mind.
27:40Yes.
27:41I've forgotten all about it.
27:42Hitler, Himmler and all that.
27:43Oh, yes.
27:44Completely forgotten it.
27:45Just like that.
27:46Sorry.
27:47What was it again?
27:48A prawn cocktail.
27:49Oh, yes.
27:50Eber prawn.
27:51Yes.
27:52And Goebbels.
27:53I hardly remember at all.
27:54And I'm pickled haig.
27:55Hermann Goring.
27:56Yes, yes.
27:57And Bon Ribblechops.
27:58That was another one.
27:59And four cold meat salads, please.
28:01Certainly.
28:02Well, I'll just get your hors d'oeuvres.
28:04Hors d'oeuvres, which must be obeyed at all times without question.
28:07Sorry.
28:08Sorry.
28:09Will you please call your wife immediately?
28:11Sim off.
28:12Sim off.
28:13She's in the hospital, you silly girl.
28:14Yes.
28:15Call her there.
28:16I can't.
28:17I've got too much to do.
28:18Listen.
28:19Don't mention the war.
28:20I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.
28:21All right.
28:22So.
28:23It's all forgotten now.
28:24And let's hear no more about it.
28:25So that's two egg mayonnaise, a prawn Goebbels, a Hermann Goring, and four cold-lit settlers.
28:30Now, wait a minute.
28:31I got a bit confused here.
28:32Sorry.
28:33I got a bit confused because everyone keeps mentioning the war.
28:35So could you...
28:36What's the matter?
28:37It's all right.
28:38Is there something wrong?
28:39Will you stop talking about the war?
28:41Me?
28:42You started it?
28:43We did not start it.
28:44Yes, you did.
28:45You invaded Poland.
28:46Poland.
28:47Yeah.
28:48Yeah.
28:49Yeah.
28:50You're like this one.
28:51There's this woman.
28:52She's completely stupid.
28:53She'd never remember anything.
28:54And her husband's in a bomber.
28:56Oh, for Berlin.
28:57Oh, sorry.
28:58Sorry.
28:59Yeah, yeah.
29:00She'll love this one.
29:01She'll laugh at...
29:02Leave her alone.
29:03No, this is a street.
29:04I mean, I've never seen anyone not laugh at this.
29:05Look, she'll love it.
29:06She's German.
29:07No, Mr. Paul.
29:09What?
29:10Do Jimmy Cagney instead.
29:11What?
29:12Jimmy Cagney.
29:13Jimmy Cagney?
29:14I know.
29:15You're dirty right.
29:16I can't do Jimmy Cagney.
29:17Please try.
29:18I'm gonna get you.
29:19Shut up!
29:20Okay, watch.
29:21Who is this then?
29:22Start, you.
29:23No!
29:26I'll do the funny war.
29:28It's gonna...
29:36Stop it!
29:37Stop it!
29:38I'm trying to cheer her up, you stupid crow.
29:41funny not funny you're joking it's not funny for her not for us not for any
29:49German people you have absolutely no sense of humor do you you'll be alright
30:00come with me find me on the head no you hit him on the head no naughty moose
30:30however did they win
31:00you
31:03you
31:05you
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