- 4 months ago
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00:00Oh
00:30So, it's warm tonight, isn't it, Boldy?
00:33It certainly is, baby, yes.
00:34Oh, very warm.
00:35Oh, can I get you another one?
00:36What?
00:37Oh, well, why not indeed?
00:39What a nice idea.
00:41It always reminds me of somebody machine gunning a seal.
00:44No, no, my wife's lying.
00:47Ah, good evening, Mrs. Fenwar.
00:51Good evening.
00:52Thank you for your map.
00:54It was so useful.
00:55I must congratulate you.
00:57I had no idea how charming talk he was.
01:01Ah, enchanté.
01:02May I ask, did you find anything of interest?
01:03Hmm, a few pieces I like very much.
01:06And one.
01:07Oh, I had to have it.
01:09Ah, formidable.
01:11I'm so pleased.
01:12May I introduce the Major Goen, our longest standing resident, Mrs. Penwar?
01:16How do you do, Major?
01:17How do you do, madam?
01:18Mrs. Penwar is an antique dealer.
01:20She's down here for a few days, sniffing around for dainty relics.
01:23Ah!
01:25Please don't alarm yourself.
01:27It's only my wife laughing.
01:28I'm afraid her local finishing school was bombed.
01:31Oh, dear.
01:31No, no, not really.
01:32Just a thought.
01:33Well, now, what can I get you?
01:35Do you have any Ricard?
01:36I'm sorry?
01:37Any Ricard?
01:39Ah, we're just out of it, I think.
01:41Just a sherry, then.
01:42But, of course.
01:43Tell me, are you, by any chance, French at all?
01:47Yes, I am.
01:49Good Lord!
01:49Oh, shit!
01:53Enjoying yourself, dear?
01:55We haven't put any nuts in the bell, have we?
01:58Well, I haven't.
01:58I don't know about you.
01:59Ah, well, I'll do it, then.
02:00Shall I?
02:01That would be the simplest solution, dear.
02:03Well, where's Manuel?
02:04We've given him the evening off, dear.
02:06It's his birthday.
02:07I mean, how old is he?
02:08Two and a half?
02:13Excuse me.
02:14There are no nuts here, Sybil.
02:16No nuts!
02:18You find them in the kitchen.
02:20Oh, will I?
02:22Well, if you can bear to tear yourself away from Mrs. Payne, why you will.
02:25Do go on.
02:28Well, in 1918, actually.
02:31Did you ever see that film, How to Murder Your Wife?
02:33How to murder your wife?
02:34Yes, awfully good.
02:35I saw it six times.
02:38Very funny.
02:42Are you all right, Mr. Foddy?
02:43What?
02:43Yes, yes, thank you very much.
02:44You all right?
02:45Yes.
02:46Good, good.
02:46Well, we're all all right, then.
02:50Must be the heat.
02:51Yes, and he's getting taller, isn't he?
02:53I don't think he's very well, dear.
02:55I think we ought to take care.
02:57Hello.
02:57Hello.
02:58I think I left it over here so much.
03:00Hang on.
03:04Ah, here it is.
03:05See you tonight.
03:06Mm.
03:07Mm.
03:09Shh.
03:09Shh.
03:10Shh.
03:10Shh.
03:11Shh.
03:11Oh, shh.
03:13Oh, shh.
03:13Yes?
03:15Uh, signal for tonight, is it?
03:16Mr. Foddy, may I introduce Richard Turner?
03:19I'm sorry?
03:20He's a friend of mine.
03:21Oh, you know each other, do you?
03:22Just, uh, passing through, are you?
03:24There you go.
03:25See you tonight.
03:25Oh, we've opened a library, have we?
03:27Oh, nice.
03:28Please don't leave on my account, Mr. Turnip.
03:31I'm sorry.
03:31I'm here, Polly.
03:32We were just saying goodbye.
03:33I mean, what sort of a place do you think this is?
03:35A massage parlour?
03:36I mean, we are running a nice, respectable hike.
03:39I'm sorry, did I say something funny?
03:40No, I was, uh, just looking for...
03:42No, no, obviously I was saying something frightfully comic.
03:44No, it's just the heat.
03:45Oh, well, so long as I amuse the staff, I mean, that's all I'm here for.
03:48Ah.
03:49I'll just take these in, shall I?
03:49One other thing, Polly, I'm afraid we've abandoned the idea of the topless afternoon teas,
03:53so if you wouldn't mind a changing before you go in where people may be trying to meet.
03:57I was going to.
03:58And, Polly, would you come back here, please?
04:00I'm on form tonight.
04:01Yes, Mr. Foddy.
04:02I know these kind of drawings are considered decent at art school.
04:04Would you please not leave them lying around on display at the reception?
04:08I'll put them away when I've got some clothes on.
04:10I mean, bit.
04:19Hello, faulty titties.
04:23Yes, yes.
04:25Oh, it's you, Audrey, yes.
04:28Oh, he's left you again, has he?
04:29Oh, dear.
04:31Oh, dear.
04:32How sad.
04:33Hmm.
04:33Yes.
04:34Oh, good evening, Major.
04:36Yes, I'll be with you in just one moment.
04:37Yes, well, I'll get a call.
04:38Hmm.
04:38Yes, well, keep your pecker up.
04:40Bye.
04:45Stop it.
04:46Hello.
04:52We've booked a room.
04:53Have you?
04:54Yes, a double one.
04:55The name is...
04:55One moment, please.
04:57It's a nice suit.
04:59What?
04:59I thought you said something.
05:01No.
05:03Are you all right?
05:05Yes, thank you.
05:09Are we ready?
05:10I think we are, yeah.
05:11What do you mean by your name, please?
05:12What do you mean by your name?
05:12Yes, it's Bruce.
05:14Mr and Mrs Bruce.
05:15That's right.
05:16Is it a double bed?
05:17I beg your pardon?
05:18Has our room got a double bed?
05:21A double bed?
05:22Yes.
05:23Well, we've only got one double bed.
05:24I mean, you want that?
05:25Oh, very much indeed, yeah.
05:26Well, I'll have to put you in number 12, then.
05:28All right.
05:29Well, I mean, why...
05:30Oh, never mind, yes.
05:31Has it got a breeze?
05:34Has it got a breeze?
05:35Oh, is it airy?
05:37Well, there's air in it.
05:38I mean, what...
05:39I think there's a letter for me.
05:42What?
05:42There's a letter for me there.
05:43No, there isn't.
05:44Yes.
05:45Jean Wilson.
05:48Jean Wilson, is this you?
05:49Mm-hmm.
05:51Now, what's going on here?
05:53Well, I can't give you a double room, then.
05:55Oh, Lord.
05:55It's against the law.
05:56What law?
05:57The law of England.
05:58Nothing to do with me.
05:59Nothing to do with you?
06:00Nothing at all.
06:01I can give you two singles if you like, but...
06:03Look, shall we go somewhere else?
06:05Excuse me.
06:06Well, there's my key.
06:08And now I'm off to paint the town red.
06:10Thank you so much.
06:12Well, perhaps I'll see you later this evening?
06:14Yes, my wife and I will be up till quite late tonight, thank you.
06:18Don't believe a word.
06:19Excuse me.
06:20We'll have two singles, then, if that's all right with the police.
06:23Two singles?
06:24Well, certainly, now...
06:25Next to each other.
06:27Next to each other.
06:28Oh, dear, we can't do that.
06:29What a shame.
06:30Good evening.
06:31Good evening.
06:32A double, is it?
06:33We'd like a double.
06:34Two singles, dear.
06:35Not married.
06:36Now, um...
06:37What?
06:38Nothing, dear.
06:39I'm dealing with it.
06:40Well, 17 and 18 are free.
06:42You'd have to share a bar.
06:43No.
06:43Oh, Audrey called.
06:45I'll handle it.
06:46George is left for it again.
06:47Oh, no.
06:48Now, we've got one on the first floor and one right up at the top.
06:51Shall I deal with this, Basil?
06:52I'm dealing with it, dear.
06:53No, dear, that's all right.
06:54Now, you wanted two singles.
06:55I said I'd deal with it.
06:56Do you mind sharing your bathroom?
06:57Look, I was here first.
06:59Well, it's my turn now, then.
07:00I fought the Korean War, you know.
07:03I killed four men.
07:08He was in the Catering Corps.
07:09He used to poison them.
07:14Yes?
07:15Who is it?
07:16Is Manuel.
07:17What do you want?
07:17Can I go now?
07:19I thought you'd gone.
07:20Okay.
07:21I thought you'd gone.
07:23No, no.
07:23I turned it off.
07:25What?
07:26It was about so high.
07:28No, no.
07:28I said I thought a creduto.
07:30It doesn't matter.
07:31Eh?
07:31It doesn't matter.
07:33Oh, you think I'd gone?
07:34Yes.
07:35No, no.
07:35I go now.
07:36Wonderful.
07:37But it's okay?
07:37It's okay.
07:41Yes?
07:42Before I go.
07:44Is it?
07:45It's my birthday.
07:47Yes, I know.
07:48I want to thank you for beautiful presents.
07:51Oh, yes.
07:51And for your much kindness to me since I come here.
07:55Not at all my pleasure.
07:55Since coming here from Spain, leaving my mother.
07:59Outside.
08:00Okay.
08:00Outside.
08:04Since coming here from Spain, leaving my five brothers and your sister.
08:12Can I have it, Basil?
08:14What, dear?
08:14I want that key.
08:15I've only got the key to room 12.
08:16That's the one.
08:17Now, look here, Sybil.
08:18Basil.
08:18If you were my size, she's coming.
08:23Now, well.
08:25She's number 12, please.
08:28Basil.
08:35Jean.
08:35Hello, Paul.
08:36What are you doing here?
08:38Well, we couldn't get in at the Bellevue.
08:40Oh, no.
08:41Hello, Alan.
08:42It'll be fun.
08:43My parents arrive tomorrow.
08:44What, here?
08:45Hmm.
08:45Well, I warned you.
08:46Yes, we've already met the famous faulty.
08:48Shh.
08:49I'm not supposed to hobnob.
08:50Oh, dear.
08:50Oh, I like your outfit.
08:52I'll give you the pattern.
08:55Are you going to be at Fiona's wedding?
08:57I can't, but I'll be at the reception of my very own Jean Wilson creation.
09:01I want you to try that on later.
09:02Okay.
09:03How's that water stuck on?
09:04Oh, I haven't seen it for a month.
09:05He's been in Singapore.
09:07Oh, blast.
09:08I forgot to get those batteries for my electric razor.
09:11Is there anywhere still open, Paul?
09:12Well, you might find a chemist.
09:13Yeah, well, I'd better have a look.
09:14Hmm.
09:15Won't be long.
09:16Is Richard coming tonight?
09:17Hmm.
09:18We'll be along about ten.
09:19Great.
09:25Hello again.
09:26Well, have you managed to get it all sorted out with your wife?
09:29All I wouldn't know about there is there something you want?
09:30Ah, yes.
09:31Look, I know it's a bit late, but do you know if there's a chemist still open?
09:37Do you know if there's a chemist still open?
09:39I suppose you think this is funny, do you?
09:42Funny.
09:43Ha, ha, ha.
09:45No, no, I really want to know.
09:47Oh, do you?
09:47Well, I don't.
09:48So far as I know, all the chemists are shut.
09:49You'll just have to wait till tomorrow.
09:51Sorry.
09:53Bit of a blow, I imagine.
09:55What?
09:55Nothing, you heard.
09:57Is it all?
09:58Well?
09:59Yes?
10:00I don't suppose you've got a car.
10:01No, look.
10:03I'm just going to push your luck.
10:04I have a breaking point, you know.
10:06Well, I only want some batteries.
10:07I don't believe it.
10:12What?
10:12Batteries, eh?
10:13You know something?
10:14You disgust me.
10:16I know what people like you get up to, and I think it's disgusting.
10:19What are you talking about?
10:22I want some batteries for my electric razor.
10:23I want to shave.
10:24Oh, yes?
10:25Yes, I'm shaved today.
10:26Look, see?
10:27Electric razor, huh?
10:27Right.
10:29Well, that's what I was referring to when I said it was disgusting.
10:31It is, of course, disgusting that you haven't shaved.
10:34But understandable.
10:35I mean, sometimes I don't shave either, and that's disgusting, too.
10:37So, actually, I'm very pleased to sit back to your room straight away.
10:39Thank you so much.
10:40Good night.
10:40Good night.
10:41Good night.
10:43Good night.
10:48Good night.
11:01Good night.
11:02Good night.
11:07Oh, dear, he hasn't.
11:29Oh, I know.
11:32He doesn't deserve you, Audrey.
11:34He really doesn't.
11:35Exactly.
11:38I know you have.
11:41I know.
11:43I know.
11:45Oh, I know.
11:46He's been brought like that all night.
11:48What was that, Audrey?
11:51Oh, I know.
11:54I know.
11:55Why is she telling you, then?
11:57I understand you.
11:58I really do.
11:59Oh, I can't stand it anymore.
12:01I don't clean the roof or something.
12:02Oh, there's the front doorbell.
12:06Somebody's got back late.
12:07Yes.
12:08Yes.
12:09I expect they've got to get their passkey.
12:10I know.
12:12Somebody better go and let them in.
12:13Yes.
12:14I'll go, then.
12:14Shall I?
12:15Yes, I agree.
12:16Right.
12:16I'll go, then.
12:18I mean, you know who that is, don't you?
12:19I mean, that's your pair.
12:20The karma suit was set.
12:21Good evening.
12:22Welcome to Basil Fawlty Knocking Shops, Limited.
12:25No, dear.
12:26It's only Basil.
12:27Oh.
12:27I'm coming, I'm coming.
12:36I mean, I suppose you know what time it is.
12:38Oh, Mr. Fawlty, I'm so sorry.
12:42Oh, no, it's only a quarter past eleven.
12:43Oh, I thought you were part of your bed.
12:46Oh, no, not at all.
12:47I had a few little jobs to do.
12:48Oh, you're so kind.
12:50Oh, well.
12:51I had just a lovely evening.
12:54Did you?
12:54I'm very nice.
12:55I saw some friends I hadn't seen for years.
12:59I had a little bit too much to drink on Friday.
13:02Oh, darling, what's life for if one can't get a bit, uh...
13:04Blotto?
13:05Well, hardly blotto.
13:07Oh, Mr. Fawlty, you're so charming.
13:11Well, one does one's best.
13:13I hope Mrs. Fawlty appreciates how lucky she is.
13:17Well, I think probably not in fact, but...
13:19Oh, sorry.
13:20He's just...
13:20Sorry, I'm very good.
13:21Ah, let me...
13:22Oh, sorry.
13:25Oh, sorry.
13:27Ha-ha, there you are.
13:28Well, I'm going to all this, are you?
13:29No, it's quite extraordinary.
13:30The front doorbell went almost a moment or two ago.
13:32Then I thought to myself,
13:33I expect that to be Alan and...
13:35So down I go,
13:35and lobehold, it's not you at all.
13:37It's Mrs. Penoir.
13:38Who met Alan and Mrs. Penoir?
13:40She's an antique dealer.
13:41You know, I mean, she deals in antiques.
13:43She's not frankly old or anything.
13:44Ah, so I live in just ten seconds.
13:46I mean, hardly five.
13:47I mean, hardly time to say good evening.
13:48In she comes, drops her thing.
13:49Down I go.
13:50Down she goes.
13:51Oh, there you are.
13:52This, my soul is going.
13:53Golly, is that the time?
13:54My goodness, I was thinking it was a quarter past ten.
13:56My God, well, I better get to bed.
13:58I can't stand around talking all night.
13:59I'm going to be an early night.
14:00Bye.
14:01Bye.
14:02Bye.
14:04Are you all right?
14:10Yes, I am.
14:12Good night.
14:13Good night.
14:14Gina, just make that call.
14:16Don't be too long.
14:21Oh.
14:25Well?
14:26Hmm?
14:27Who was it?
14:28Oh, it was your, uh, your pair.
14:32Good night.
14:33Bonne nuit.
14:38Oh, and that, uh, that woman, uh,
14:40Mrs. Pay-moi.
14:43Uh, yes, something like that.
14:44Dormez bien, Mr. Fautier.
14:53How's Audrey?
14:54She's in a terrible state.
14:56Ah, good, good.
15:00Was someone in the dance, Sybil?
15:02Why are you shouting, Basil?
15:04Was I shouting?
15:04Sorry, Sybil.
15:05Um, well, I'd better go and see who that is then, Sybil.
15:08Oh, ha, ha, I expected some cue.
15:10Forgot to get the guests for their door or something like that.
15:12Some innocent explanation.
15:13Are you ready, Sybil?
15:14I'm ready.
15:15Right, well, I'll just see who that is then, Sybil.
15:17All right, Sybil.
15:21Hello.
15:25Hello.
15:27Ah.
15:27Oh, so sorry, Mr. Faultier.
15:32Oh, poor Mr. Faultier.
15:34Are you all right?
15:35No, I'm dying, but don't get out of bed.
15:37I hurt you.
15:38And you're so wonderful to me.
15:39Give me such beautiful presents.
15:42You're drunk, Manuel.
15:43No, no, no.
15:44It's beautiful.
15:45It's my first one.
15:46Now, listen to me.
15:47Oh, poor Mr. Faultier.
15:50So sorry, please.
15:51Mr. Faultier.
15:52I love you.
15:53I love you.
15:54You're so kind to me.
15:55You're so good to me.
15:56I love you.
15:57I love you.
15:58Master, I'm trying to read in here.
16:00Since I come here from Spain,
16:02leaving my five mothers and four aunties
16:05with a not right hand.
16:13Et maintenant, un peu de café?
16:16Ah oui, s'il vous plaît.
16:17Café au lait.
16:18Café what?
16:18Au lait.
16:19Ah, au lait.
16:21Quite.
16:22No, I'm hurting you.
16:35There we are.
16:41Voilà, sommes-nous.
16:42Café pour vous.
16:43Oh, pas pour toi.
16:45Well, I'll probably have one later.
16:46Oh, very funny.
16:48Oh, good.
16:48Oh, Mr. Faultier.
16:49I forget.
16:50The window in my bedroom.
16:51I can't open it.
16:53Could you?
16:53Oh, certainly.
16:54I'll pop up and fix it.
16:54Certainly.
17:01How are you?
17:03Handy, shall I?
17:06Oh, no.
17:10Thank you so much.
17:13It's terrible.
17:14Go to the kitchen.
17:15Go to the kitchen, ma'am.
17:15I cannot.
17:16Ma'am, go to the kitchen.
17:17No, no, no.
17:18Come on, now.
17:19Oh, no, please.
17:19I die here.
17:20Please.
17:21Sorry, Marcus.
17:22We've been all working awfully hard recently.
17:25You know how I can manage, thank you, Polly?
17:27Oh, no, no.
17:28Please, Mr.
17:29Oh, no, Mr.
17:30Oh, no.
17:31He's out.
17:31It's a game, though.
17:32It's disgusting.
17:34I beg your pardon?
17:35Nothing.
17:35I thought you said something.
17:36No, no, no.
17:37Carry on.
17:37Get on with your meals.
17:51Thank you, Mr. Lloyd.
17:52And this is just for tonight, isn't it?
17:53That's right.
17:54Will you be taking lunch?
17:55Oh, we won't have time, I'm afraid.
17:56We've got this wedding at half past two.
17:58Oh.
17:58I wonder, could I make a call?
18:00Oh, please, use that phone.
18:01Would it be possible to have some sandwiches sent up to the room?
18:04Certainly.
18:04Here's the key.
18:05I'll have your bags brought up in a moment.
18:07Thank you all.
18:08Would you like coffee with the sandwiches?
18:09Oh, yes, please.
18:11Mum!
18:12Hello, darling.
18:14Hello, hello, Alan.
18:15Hello, Rachel.
18:16Oh, where's Philip?
18:17Did he have a good trip?
18:18Marvellous.
18:18He's upstairs.
18:19Oh, could I speak to Mrs. Bryce, please?
18:22I'll see you in a moment.
18:22All right, darling.
18:23I'm just going to finish my breakfast.
18:24Right, hold on.
18:26There they are.
18:28Where's the key?
18:28He's already taken it up, Basil.
18:30Oh, right.
18:31Anne, it's Rachel Lloyd here.
18:33How's everything?
18:34I'm going to take your cases upstairs.
18:36Yes, I know.
18:39Darling, it's beautiful.
18:42Oh.
18:45Oh.
18:51Simple.
18:52Simple.
18:57Hello.
18:58Hello.
18:59It's Mrs. Lloyd, isn't it?
19:00That's right.
19:01How do you do?
19:02Forty.
19:02Battle Forty.
19:03How do you do?
19:03Oh, pretty much, really.
19:04Can't complain.
19:06Good.
19:07Yes, well, we had this door knocked through recently, men.
19:09What a good job of it.
19:10Don't you think?
19:11Yes, yes, it's very nice.
19:12Yes, marvellous.
19:13It's changed our lives, really.
19:14You know, we used to have to do the hundred yards through there and back again.
19:17But now we can just sort of open it and, oh dear, this isn't what I think it's right
19:20as it usually does.
19:21Ah!
19:23Go right in.
19:25Just like that.
19:26Marvellous, really.
19:26You know, that's sort of simple but effective.
19:27Would you like to have a try?
19:28Well, I'd love to one day, but I think just now I'd better get upstairs so I'll see you
19:34later.
19:35Ah!
19:38Are you all right?
19:39Oh, I've got a trouble with the old leg.
19:40I'd better just sit down here and just remove a bit of shrapnel.
19:43Corian war.
19:44Still in there.
19:45Can't they get it out?
19:46No, no.
19:47Too deep.
19:47Too deep.
19:48Well, this is the kitchen, as you can see.
19:50What?
19:51The kitchen.
19:52Yes, we had it passed about five years ago.
19:54We've got a few cracks up there now.
19:58Oh, don't worry about him.
20:01He's just having a lie down.
20:03Smash.
20:04He's from Barcelona, you know, sort of siesta, but he's fine.
20:08It was his birthday yesterday.
20:10Anyway, we've got a few cracks up there now, but nothing serious.
20:13So, as I say, it's not the Sistine Chapel, but we're very happy with it.
20:17Are you sure he's all right?
20:19Oh, yes, yes, he's fine, yes.
20:21But he's groaning.
20:22Is he?
20:23Is he?
20:23Can't you hear him?
20:25So, yes.
20:25Listen, I just remembered I left your cases just outside your room, by mistake.
20:30Would you mind if I went up and put them inside now, unless there's anything else you'd like to...
20:33Don't you think, perhaps, we should open the...
20:34No, no, no, no, don't worry about that.
20:36My wife will deal with that.
20:37Sybil, so if you'd like to...
20:39Come along, come along.
20:42Come in.
20:45Your sandwiches, Mr. Lloyd.
20:46Polly!
20:48Hello.
20:49How are you?
20:50Fantastic.
20:51Oh, it's great to see you.
20:53You're still gorgeous.
20:54Oh, dear, dear, dear.
21:06Is anything the matter?
21:10Mrs. Lloyd, can I have a way with you?
21:12You are?
21:13Yes, well, there's something that I need to explain.
21:16Well.
21:17Er, could we go in there?
21:18Oh, really?
21:19Is it absolutely necessary?
21:20I'm afraid it is.
21:24Go.
21:28Mrs. Lloyd, I'm so sorry.
21:31But this is a much nicer room than the one we've given you.
21:38What?
21:39I'm sorry.
21:39I was just saying that this room is so much nicer than yours,
21:42and I wanted to bring you in here now and share it to you
21:45and apologise in case you found out about it later
21:47and got rather cross.
21:49Now, the point is...
21:51The point is,
21:52if it turns out you don't like that room,
21:55then we can always move you in here,
21:56but I don't think it's worth doing
21:57until you've definitely decided that you don't like that one
22:00as much as this one,
22:01and then we can sort of sit down around the table
22:03and sort of discuss it,
22:04you know, kind of chew it over,
22:05and, er...
22:07And it would be a piece of cake.
22:11Bob's your uncle.
22:12Okay?
22:15Fine.
22:16You see, we'll do it.
22:17Oh, sorry.
22:18Sorry.
22:23Oh, thank you.
22:24Thank you very much.
22:25I wonder where you were, darling.
22:27Hmm.
22:27Darling.
22:31Darling, are you all right?
22:34This room is exactly the same
22:36as the one that you've had in the room.
22:39Oh, genius.
22:41Absolutely smashing.
22:43Bit tight across the bust.
22:44Oh, I love it.
22:45Lower, lower, lower.
22:46You sure?
22:47Can I pick it up tonight?
22:48Yeah.
22:49Lower, lower, lower.
22:50Ah!
22:51That's it, that's it.
22:52Oh, that is amazing.
22:54That is amazing.
22:57Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
23:03Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
23:04Oh, ha, ha, ha.
23:07Hey, baby,
23:08have you been taking lessons?
23:11Oh, so I'll see you tonight, huh?
23:15Pretend be that's absolutely fantastic.
23:17No, no, no. No, no. No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
23:42Ah, Polly, I want to see you at reception in one minute in your hat and coat.
23:45I'm sorry?
23:46I want to see you at reception in one minute in your hat and coat.
23:48Will they fit you?
23:49No.
23:52They're going.
23:53What?
23:54They're going.
24:03I'm sorry, but you have to go. We made a mistake. All these rooms are taken.
24:06Hello?
24:07She was sitting on him.
24:09Five minutes later, I found him lying on the floor underneath the waiter.
24:13Oh, there you are. Got together, have you?
24:18Yes, yes, I might have guessed, mightn't I?
24:20Yes, I see. Of course, we're a bit behind the time zone here in Torquay.
24:23Well, I'm sorry, but you have to go. We made a mistake. All these rooms are taken.
24:26I'm so sorry.
24:29Well, actually, I'm not sorry. I mean, you come in here just like that and, well, to be perfectly blunt, you have a very good time at our expense.
24:35I mean, I think you know what I mean. I mean, you have had a very, very good time, haven't you?
24:39Well, not here, you don't. Oh, no, thank you and good night.
24:51Well, that's taken care of that.
24:53Basil, what is going on? Why did you tell Polly to get her hat and coat?
24:56Because she's going along with the Lloyds and that pair you let in. I've never seen anything like it in my life. My God!
25:01I thought, what are you on about? Why are they leaving?
25:03I'll tell you exactly why they're leaving. First of all, I go up there and I find that that girl in his arms, in Lloyds' arms, five minutes later, Polly's in there!
25:09What girl?
25:10That, that girl!
25:12She's his daughter.
25:13What?
25:15She's Mr. Lloyd's stepdaughter. They're all one family.
25:31Well, what about Polly?
25:35She was at school with Jean. She's known them all for years.
25:38For years, huh?
25:39For years.
25:40What have I done?
25:42What have you done?
25:43I told them to leave.
25:44You've told them to leave?
25:46Well, how was I supposed to go?
25:47Why didn't you tell me, you halfwits? Why didn't they tell me? You can't blame me for this.
25:51Go and tell them they can stay.
25:52Why don't you go and tell them?
25:54I didn't tell them to go.
25:55Oh, no, no, I suppose it's all my fault, isn't it?
25:57Go and tell them.
25:58Now.
25:59No, I won't.
26:00You will.
26:01No, no, I won't.
26:02Oh, yes, you will.
26:03Oh, yes, I will.
26:04Right, yes, that's right. Leave it to me. Let me get you out of it.
26:05That's all I'm good for, isn't it?
26:06Basil Fawlty Limited.
26:07I've got people's messes cleared up by appointment to my wife Sybil.
26:10I mean, what am I going to say?
26:12Tell them you made a mistake.
26:14Oh, brilliant!
26:16Brilliant!
26:17Is that what made Britain great, and so sorry, and made of a stick?
26:21Oh, yeah!
26:22That's right!
26:23Great sponge cake!
26:27Well, very nice, very nice.
26:28Oh, get back to work!
26:29I'm so sorry!
26:31I'm so sorry I made a mistake.
26:33I'm so sorry I made a mistake.
26:35I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but my wife has made a mistake.
26:38I don't know how she did, but she's made a complete pudding in the whole thing as usual.
26:41It'll be perfectly all right for you to stay.
26:43I've sorted it all out.
26:44I'm frankly sorry, but you know what women are like.
26:45They've got one brain between the lot of them.
26:46Well, not all of them, but I mean some of them have.
26:48My wife.
26:49So please do stay and see you all later on.
26:51Thank you so much.
26:55I'm just saying, please do stay.
26:56My wife made a most dreadful mistake.
26:59Yes, I think she probably did.
27:01Good evening, Forty.
27:02Ah, evening, Major.
27:03Papers arrived yet?
27:04Oh, yes.
27:05Sorry, sir.
27:06I didn't get here till five.
27:07I have to have a word with them again.
27:08Well, where's your lady wife this evening?
27:09Oh, she's spending the night at Audrey's.
27:10You know, George has walked out on her again, so she's in the usual state.
27:11Sterling must have upset her a bit.
27:12Well, I guess she makes her song and dance about it.
27:13Well, you don't like Audrey very much, do you?
27:14Dreadful woman.
27:15Dreadful woman.
27:16Dreadful woman.
27:17Dreadful woman.
27:18Dreadful woman.
27:19Dreadful woman.
27:20Dreadful woman.
27:21Dreadful woman.
27:22Dreadful woman.
27:23Dreadful woman.
27:24Dreadful woman.
27:25Dreadful woman.
27:26Well, I think it's very decent of your wife to go round there and to listen to all that
27:36rubbish.
27:37Couldn't do without her, Major.
27:38She's a fine woman, Mrs. Fawlty.
27:40No, no, I wouldn't say that.
27:42No, nor would I.
27:44Hi, Major.
27:47Hi, Major.
27:48Hi, Mr. Fawlty.
27:49Ah, good evening.
27:50Sorry.
27:51No, no, don't switch it off.
27:52I love Chopin.
27:53Oh, really?
27:54Ah, there's your key.
27:55Ah, it's so romantic.
27:56Yes, yes, exactly.
27:57Are you romantic, Mr. Fawlty?
27:58Ah, no, good God, no.
27:59Well, I think you are.
28:00I think beneath that English exterior throbs a passion that would make Lord Byron look
28:04like a tobacconist.
28:05Oh, no way.
28:06No, sorry.
28:07Oh, and don't look so bashful.
28:08I won't try and sit on you again.
28:09Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
28:10Oh, ha, ha, ha.
28:11Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
28:12And where is your charming wife this evening?
28:13Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
28:14exterior throbs of passion that would make Lord Byron look like a tobacconist no way no sorry
28:21oh don't look so bashful I won't try and sit on you again
28:27and where is your charming wife this evening? oh she's uh she's spending the night with a friend
28:37oh a girl a lady friend when the cat's away huh oh hardly no too much to do ah well right when we
28:46oh mr. Forty yes did you fix my window oh oh if you could please it's so hot tonight yes yes okay
28:54right here we are oh you're so strong oh well I'm sure you are too if you put your mind to it
29:13your wife shouldn't leave you with strange women oh well I wouldn't call you that strange
29:18Mr. Forty you're so charming oh only a little oh well isn't it wonderful yes it's nice isn't it
29:26I shall sleep on at your head tonight good idea right I mean not so much fun on your own oh well
29:34one could always pretend oh twinch from the old leg better go and lie down good night good night
29:40damn shrapnel
29:40uh who is it uh mr. Forty
29:58hello I'm so sorry but I have to leave early tomorrow could I have a call at seven o'clock please
30:07oh marvelous is that all absolutely seven o'clock please don't go yet
30:11I think you've forgotten something did I damn well your recorder oh thank you you left it in my room
30:21no thank you so much you left it in my room so you could come and get it didn't you
30:26I'm not having you knocking on my door in the middle of the night
30:32you're a naughty man good night
30:39good night
30:40go to your room I won't ask you again open the door listen I can't my wife has just got back
31:09unexpectedly she's in the bathroom what do I think you'll find it on the second shelf civil
31:15darling let me in battle I can't meet somebody else sooner or later that's all try to control
31:22yourself where do you think you are Paris let me in shut up will you you silly tart go away my wife
31:30people hear us this is your wife
31:32oh what a terrible dream
31:40there's a burglar downstairs George got back did he there's a burglar downstairs what a burglar
31:54he said quick
31:59uh... uh... oh... oh...�流
32:19I'm well...
32:20We've been to a wedding.
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