- hace 4 meses
One of the hotel's guests dies in his sleep but Basil doesn't really notice and just goes about his business, delivering the man's breakfast to his room and then complaining that he was rude and didn't thank him. Polly soon realizes he is dead and Sybil asks another guest, Dr. Price, to attend to the situation. Basil thinks the out of date kippers were the cause, but he's been dead most of the night. Pandemonium sets in when they try to remove the body without any of the guests knowing what has happened. It doesn't quite go as planned.
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02:12No, no, my memory is not very good.
02:13Can I say that?
02:15Can I say it?
02:18Oh, sorry!
02:19You don't care.
02:22Not if you are worried about what they say about you.
02:27Do I need a marten's hammer forage?
02:30You don't care!
02:32It's your anniversary!
02:33But I won't leave you.
02:34That?
02:35I thought he didn't forget me!
02:36Well yes, the past went away and I was left wondering,
02:38So we've got some friends arriving in about 10 minutes for a surprise drinks party.
02:42Manuel's making a special paella for tonight.
02:45Got some champagne, but don't tell her I've remembered yet.
02:47Let's let her have a bit of a smoke.
02:49Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil?
02:52Yes, but not as economically.
02:54Ah, Mr. Fulti, what time for the paella?
02:57Ah, nine o'clock, but a secret.
02:59Ah, yes, yes.
03:01Ah, Mr. Fulti, have you decided about the car?
03:05The car?
03:06The money for the car.
03:07Ah, I spoke to Mrs. Fulti and she said it was all right.
03:10Yes, I don't think she quite understands the cash flow situation, vis-a-vis the frozen acid.
03:13But it's only a hundred.
03:15I thought I'd pay you back in six weeks.
03:16Let me think about it, hmm?
03:17But I've got to know this weekend they won't hold it any longer.
03:19This week? Oh well, you should have told me.
03:22I told you three weeks ago.
03:24Look, look, it's my anniversary, right?
03:26I've got some friends arriving in a few minutes. We'll discuss it later.
03:28Oh, and when they get here, give me a hand with the coats and drinks, will you?
03:31I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh?
03:34What's this, then?
03:35Oh, good morning, Mr. Fulti.
03:37Good morning, Mr. Fulti.
03:38Good morning, ladies.
03:41Could I have a word with you, Basil?
03:43Could it wait just a few minutes, dear?
03:45No.
03:50Is everything all right, dear? You seem just a little bit tense.
03:54Do you know what date it is today, Basil?
03:56Um, it's the 16th today, dear.
03:59It's the 17th, Basil.
04:00No, no, it's the 16th today, dear.
04:02It's the 17th, Basil.
04:04Well, we'll soon settle this, sir.
04:06Oh, yes, you are right.
04:10The 17th of April.
04:11Well, well, well.
04:13Does that stir any memories in you, Basil?
04:16Memories?
04:18Huh?
04:20Agincourt?
04:24What anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt?
04:26Trafalgar?
04:31Cressy?
04:31Poitier?
04:32Yom Kippur?
04:34Mr. Fulti?
04:36Manuel says he's cooking a paella for you.
04:38Shh, ma'am.
04:39Yes, for Mrs. Fulti.
04:39Anniversary.
04:40I can do paella, you know.
04:42Yes, I know.
04:42I have been to catering school.
04:43Oh, yes, I know.
04:44But he is Spanish, you know.
04:45And I thought it'd be rather nice to do it.
04:46Dispacho, chicken andalus, eggplant espagnol, franco fritters.
04:49I can do it, you know.
04:50Yes, of course you can.
04:51But he's been wanting to do it ever since he got here.
04:53So I thought it'd be rather nice, you know, just to, just to lie, to give him the chum.
04:56I don't want to cause trouble, Mr. Fulti.
05:03Yes, you do.
05:04Mr. Fulti.
05:05Now, don't you start.
05:05I don't want an argument.
05:06No, no, no, please.
05:07No, be quiet.
05:08I told him I want you to do it.
05:09No, no, no.
05:10Mrs. Fulti, she go.
05:12What?
05:12She leave.
05:13She leave.
05:13She go out.
05:15What?
05:17Sybil!
05:20No, Sybil!
05:20Sybil!
05:21Sybil!
05:22No, no, no, no, no.
05:23I remember Sybil.
05:24Oh, no, no, no, no.
05:26He's got it.
05:27He's got it.
05:27He's got it.
05:28I don't want it.
05:43Everything all right?
05:45Bit of a bump.
05:47Just smoothing it out.
05:50Oh, not at all.
05:51Um, come on in.
05:54What do I say?
06:05What am I going to say?
06:06Oh, say she's, uh, um.
06:08She's, uh, um.
06:08Oh, brilliant.
06:09Problem solved.
06:10She's, uh, um.
06:11It's surprise party.
06:12Forks.
06:13She knows here.
06:14Right.
06:14That is surprise.
06:18Hello, Baz.
06:19Say she's ill.
06:20She's ill.
06:20Oh, what?
06:21She's ill, Sybil.
06:21How are you?
06:22What would you like to drink?
06:23Sybil.
06:24Forks.
06:24Oh, dear.
06:25What's the matter?
06:25Did you hear that?
06:26I said Sybil.
06:28Forks.
06:29Oh, did you got it?
06:29No, no, no.
06:30I'm fine.
06:31No, no, no.
06:31Well, I mean, I call her, I call her Syb, right?
06:34So Sybil.
06:35Baz-well.
06:36Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:38Manuel?
06:38Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:41What's the matter, Basil?
06:42Yeah, what have you done to her, eh, Baz?
06:44Roger.
06:45Oh, she knows my name.
06:46She's been learning it all night.
06:47What's the matter, Basil?
06:48Nothing.
06:50Nothing.
06:51With Sybil.
06:52Oh, with Sybil.
06:52Uh, quite a bit, actually.
06:54Oh, dear.
06:55No, no, she's fine.
06:56She's absolutely fine.
06:57Well, I mean, she's feeling dreadful, but she'll live.
06:59That's what counts a long run, isn't it?
07:00Well, I'll pop up and see her.
07:02Oh, do you don't want to bother with that?
07:03Come on through.
07:03Have a drink.
07:04No, go on.
07:04I see.
07:05No, no, Alice.
07:06Forks?
07:06I wouldn't, actually.
07:07Let him have a matter, old boy.
07:08No, no, I mustn't.
07:09Oh, but she's up there on her own.
07:10I'm sure she'd like a little company.
07:12Uh-uh.
07:13I know I would.
07:13Well, you wouldn't if you looked like her.
07:15You know, she's very swollen up.
07:17You know, she looks very...
07:18You know what Sybil's like about her appearance.
07:19Oh, don't be silly, Basil.
07:21She won't mind me seeing her.
07:22Oh, she would.
07:23I think she would.
07:24Oh, but it's her anniversary.
07:25She's up there all on her own.
07:26Ah.
07:29Old leg, bit of chip.
07:32Better have a drink.
07:33Come on through.
07:33Oh, poor Basil.
07:35Look, let me call her, then.
07:37What?
07:37Let me call her from down here
07:38and see what she says about it.
07:40There's the phone.
07:41Come on, Basil.
07:42Let's have a drink.
07:43No, no, please.
07:44Come on, please.
07:46Why not?
07:46No, no, she's having a bit of a sleep.
07:48She can sleep all day, Basil.
07:50She won't mind me.
07:51No, but she's lost her voice.
07:52Lost her voice?
07:53Poor thing.
07:53Go on, just like that.
07:54Come on.
07:55Yes, just coming, Roger.
07:56After you, Alice.
07:57Forks.
07:58All right, Alice.
08:00What would you like to drink, Alice?
08:02Oh, gin and tonic, please, Basil.
08:04Right.
08:04Has a doctor been?
08:06What's yours, Rog?
08:08Gin and tonic.
08:09Oh, yes, of course.
08:10Right.
08:11Basil?
08:11Mm-hmm?
08:12Has a doctor been?
08:13Nuts.
08:16They've had a row.
08:17She's refused to come down.
08:20Um, you were just asking about the doctor?
08:21Forks.
08:21Yes, it hasn't been yet in fact.
08:23Oh.
08:23I expect we'll get him out of this afternoon.
08:25Forks.
08:25Well, what a shame, eh?
08:27Poor old Sib.
08:28On your anniversary, too.
08:29Forks.
08:29Oh, hello, Pauline.
08:30Oh, hello, Mrs. Terry.
08:32Is it a shame about Mrs. Fawlty?
08:34Isn't it?
08:34I'm afraid the doctor says she's going to have to be in bed for a couple of days.
08:37Yes, but the doctor hasn't actually been yet, Polly.
08:39I don't know who you were thinking of.
08:41But that man this morning, he looked like a doctor.
08:44Forks.
08:45Yes, he did, actually.
08:46Yes, that's true.
08:46But he wasn't, unfortunately.
08:47He wasn't a doctor.
08:48No no.
08:49He was a dentist.
08:49A dentist?
08:50Mm-hmm.
08:51What was a dentist doing here?
08:52Staying in the hotel.
08:54He's a guest, you see.
08:54Dentists do stay in hotels, you know.
08:56Yes, but don't go about telling people's wives to stay in bed, do they?
09:00Oh, he must have been talking about his wife.
09:02His wife?
09:03Well, jolly good luck.
09:04Nice to see you both.
09:05Cheers.
09:06Up yours, Bas.
09:09She's better soon.
09:11Oh, yes, yes.
09:11Who, Sib or the dentist's wife?
09:16Well, you're both keeping well, are you?
09:18Oh, yes, yes.
09:19Couldn't be better.
09:20And you, Basil?
09:20Oh, can't complain.
09:21Well, I could, but he wouldn't do any good, would he?
09:24No, shame.
09:25On your anniversary as well.
09:26Yeah, still all comes out of the wash, doesn't it?
09:28We're thinking of having this room done up, as a matter of fact.
09:30Really?
09:31Sort of captain's cabin, you know.
09:32Put a couple of charts on the wall, a few ropes, wheel in the corner, that sort of thing.
09:35Yeah, give it a bit of class.
09:37It wasn't my idea, Roger.
09:39Possible.
09:40Hello, hello, hello, Basil.
09:43Hello, Virginia.
09:44Hello, Arthur.
09:45Happy anniversary.
09:46Oh, thank you, thank you.
09:48We brought you a little surprise.
09:49Oh, can I see?
09:51Mm-hmm.
09:52Oh, cake, lovely.
09:53Totally nice, yes.
09:54Oh, did you make it?
09:56Oh, lots of extra marzipan.
09:59Yes, she's not well.
10:00Hmm?
10:00Sybil.
10:01Not well?
10:02She's in bed.
10:03That's not like Sybil.
10:05She's lost her voice.
10:07What is it?
10:07Well, we're not absolutely sure.
10:09I bet she'd like a bit of that marzipan.
10:11Roger.
10:11Cheer her up, Basil.
10:12Good idea.
10:13We'll take her up a slice.
10:14Yes, I don't think we better.
10:16Oh, why not?
10:16Well, she really ought not to be disturbed.
10:18Oh, just for a minute, Basil.
10:19It's not a very good idea.
10:20Tomorrow, perhaps.
10:21Oh, what on earth's the matter with her?
10:23Has the doctor been?
10:23No, but the dentist had a good look.
10:27The dentist?
10:28No, we called the doctor.
10:30We described the symptoms through him over the phone.
10:31He says she ought to stay very, very quiet.
10:33Oh, Polly, what would you like to drink, Virginia?
10:35Oh, medium sherry, please.
10:37Mr. Paul.
10:38What are the symptoms?
10:39Well, she's lost her voice and she's very puffed up.
10:42Forks?
10:42What is it, Mr. Paul?
10:43It's terrible.
10:44He's been very difficult.
10:45Puffed up?
10:45What?
10:46He moved my pop.
10:47He put his pop where my pop is.
10:49Polly, what's puffed up?
10:51Beer for me.
10:52Well, put your pot somewhere else.
10:54I put it somewhere else.
10:55He move it again.
10:56What's puffed up?
10:57Lies.
10:58Well, tell him I said you ought to do it, all right?
11:00What?
11:00Lies.
11:01I tell you, he won't make trouble.
11:02He pushy mop in my feet.
11:04Her thighs.
11:07Thighs?
11:08Well, most of her legs, actually.
11:10Now, just tell him.
11:11Go on.
11:11Basil.
11:12Hmm?
11:13Polly says her legs are puffed up.
11:15Are they?
11:19No, Sibyl's.
11:22What?
11:23Sibyl's legs.
11:24Sibyl's legs?
11:25Her thighs.
11:26Oh, yes, just a bit.
11:28A tiny bit.
11:29But mainly around the face, around the eyes, you know.
11:33Face is puffed up.
11:34She's lost her voice and her legs are a bit...
11:36Expanded.
11:36Sad, isn't it?
11:37Poor old sow.
11:39Well, when's the doctor coming?
11:41Later.
11:42Soon.
11:42Soon.
11:42When?
11:43Well, I don't know exactly.
11:44Well, I'd better go up and have a look at her.
11:45What?
11:46She sounds ill, Basil.
11:47She is ill.
11:48That's why we don't want people going up there and talking to her.
11:50I'm not going to talk to her, Basil.
11:52I'm going to look at her.
11:54Look at...
11:54She's ill, isn't she?
11:56What's the bloody point of looking at her?
11:59I am a nurse, Basil.
12:01Oh, no.
12:02I know!
12:02YO...
12:03YO...
12:03Do you know that, everyone?
12:07All the years I've known old Virginia, she thinks I've forgotten she's a nurse.
12:11You're a marvel, you know?
12:13Please let me go, Basil.
12:14Hmm?
12:15I want to look at Sybil.
12:16Well, you can't.
12:17Why not?
12:19Because...
12:19Because...
12:20You've lost weight, haven't you?
12:21Isn't that absolutely...
12:22Mr. Forty?
12:24Hmm?
12:24I think you ought to tell them.
12:26Oh.
12:28Right.
12:29About the doctor coming this morning?
12:32He came this morning.
12:33First thing.
12:35Well, why didn't you say?
12:38He didn't want to worry you.
12:39I didn't want to worry you.
12:40Is it serious?
12:44Well, it might be.
12:45Oh, dear.
12:46I mean, not completely serious, but slightly serious.
12:48Oh.
12:49Poor Basil.
12:50It's all right.
12:50I'd just rather be, you know, talking about it.
12:53Hello, everyone.
12:54Hello.
12:55Hello, Basil.
12:56Hello, Giddy.
12:56Hello, Giddy.
12:57Hello, Reg.
12:58Hello.
12:59Sybil's not here, is she?
13:01Uh, no.
13:01No.
13:02There you are, you see.
13:02I told you so.
13:03I just saw her in the town.
13:06What?
13:07In her car.
13:08In the high street.
13:09That's another woman.
13:12What other woman?
13:13That woman who looks slightly like Sybil.
13:15You know her, don't you?
13:16You know?
13:17Like Sybil?
13:18Well, yeah, yes.
13:19Very, very broad, yeah.
13:20She's from the north.
13:20Drives a red maxi, does she?
13:22Well, her husband does.
13:22I think I expect she borrowed it.
13:23Maybe she stole yours, old boy.
13:25It's not out there.
13:26It's at the garage, Rog.
13:27She looks like Sybil?
13:29Forks.
13:29And she comes from the north?
13:30Well, she has a northern accent.
13:31You know, I assume she's from the north.
13:33Oh, you've spoken to her?
13:34Mm-hmm.
13:35What's her name?
13:36Well, I don't know her name.
13:37I mean, I only met her once.
13:38What?
13:38But a fate, I mean.
13:39Sorry, Basil.
13:40I didn't meet you.
13:41No, no, of course.
13:42By the way, Basil, where is Sybil?
13:44She's in bed.
13:44Oh, dear.
13:46Yes, she's really not well.
13:47She really mustn't see anybody.
13:48Now, what?
13:48Not at all?
13:49No.
13:49Can't we just put our heads around the corner?
13:51No, I'm afraid not.
13:52She mustn't have any excitement.
13:53Oh, Basil.
13:54What do you mean, old Basil?
13:55Well, we are his oldest friends, old man.
13:57I mean, it can only do her good.
13:58And we have all come over here to see you both.
14:00Well, I'm sorry if you've been put out.
14:02I mean, you'll have some drinks, plenty of nuts,
14:04see your old friends, have some laughs.
14:05But if that isn't good enough, I'll refund your petrol for you.
14:09Oh, steady on, Basil.
14:10Well, I'm sorry, Miss.
14:11Of course, we understand.
14:13You're a bit upset.
14:14Well, you know.
14:15Yes, of course.
14:16But you know us well enough.
14:17You should have called it off.
14:18Wait until she's better.
14:19Well, I would have done, Richard, but there just wasn't time.
14:21Wasn't time?
14:22She only began to puff up about an hour ago.
14:23Have you said that the doctor came first thing this morning?
14:26Yes, yes, that's right.
14:27Yes, that was for the throats.
14:28The puffing up started after he'd gone, OK?
14:31After?
14:32Yes, after.
14:32Are you taking notes?
14:34Where have you gone?
14:35I'm going to see her.
14:36But, Basil, there was something very peculiar about all this.
14:39Look, look.
14:39No, I'm not standing here while an old friend like Sybil...
14:41Look, it's perfectly Sybil.
14:43Sybil's not well.
14:44She lost her throat and her voice hurt.
14:46The doctor came and said it was a bit serious.
14:48Not a lot, a bit.
14:49He went away.
14:50She started to puff up.
14:51He's coming back later this afternoon, and it's best for her to be on her own.
14:54Now, what is so peculiar about that?
14:58Her driving round in the town.
15:01What did you say?
15:03No, sorry.
15:03Just a joke, Basil.
15:04Can I have another gin, please?
15:06Just a joke.
15:06What?
15:06She's done in the town driving around, is that what she is?
15:09Of course it isn't, Basil.
15:10No, no, no.
15:10No, obviously.
15:11I've been standing around here making up crackpot stories about my wife being seriously upstairs.
15:15Is that it?
15:15No, no, no.
15:16Of course not.
15:16It was just that it was a bit funny Kitty seeing that northern woman in the car.
15:20Funny?
15:20Oh, I see.
15:22You mean you think that that was civil in the car and she's not upstairs.
15:25Is that it?
15:26Oh, I understand.
15:28I've got it now.
15:29Right.
15:29Well, what are we all waiting round here for?
15:31Come on.
15:32Everybody upstairs.
15:34Come on.
15:35No, Basil.
15:36No, no, no.
15:36Come on.
15:36Everyone who thinks I'm a mess.
15:37Come on.
15:38Come on.
15:38Come on.
15:40Hang on.
15:41Oh, don't get like that.
15:42Come on.
15:42Come on.
15:43We don't want to.
15:44No, it'd be best to leave her.
15:45We'll see her some other time.
15:46Yes, when she's feeling better.
15:47But Roger wants to know.
15:49No, we mustn't disturb her.
15:50No, no, no, no.
15:51If Roger wants to...
15:51He doesn't, Basil.
15:54Well, we could just say hello.
15:55Oh, Roger!
15:57Right.
15:57All right.
15:58Fine.
15:59All right.
16:00Okay, then.
16:01Fine.
16:01No problem.
16:02No problem.
16:03Suits me.
16:03Good idea.
16:04I'll just pop upstairs and ask her to stop dying.
16:07And then you can all come up and identify her.
16:09Polly, would you give me a hand?
16:10Help us off to another drink.
16:11Please.
16:12Make yourself at home.
16:12Relax.
16:14Any more nuts?
16:15What are you doing?
16:16You won't have to say anything.
16:17What?
16:18Oh, no.
16:19Come on.
16:19No, no, no.
16:20Come on, yes.
16:20Come on.
16:20No!
16:21Come on.
16:22I won't.
16:22Yes, you will.
16:23Come on.
16:23No, what?
16:24It's easy.
16:24You put on her dark glasses.
16:25One of her wings.
16:28Keep it away from me.
16:30Mr. Forty, will you listen to me?
16:31Well, it's all the curtain.
16:32Oh, come on.
16:33They never believe I was...
16:34Missing is believing.
16:36But I don't look like her.
16:37You're a woman, aren't you?
16:38My face is too long.
16:40Well, shortly.
16:40You lost your voice.
16:41All you have to do is wave.
16:42Wave?
16:43You put one hand up and jiggle it about.
16:44You soon get the hang of it.
16:47Mr. Forty, I know you're very excited.
16:50You might even be having a nervous breakdown.
16:52I don't know.
16:53I'm no expert.
16:54But you must really try and see that this isn't going to work.
16:56Get that on.
16:57It isn't going to work.
16:58What's the matter?
16:59What's the matter?
16:59I'm not doing it.
17:00Do you want to be in a Marx Brothers film?
17:02That's your problem.
17:03I'm not interested.
17:04Not interested?
17:05No.
17:05This is all your fault.
17:06My fault?
17:07You said to say she was ill.
17:08You were the one who invited them to come up here.
17:10They didn't even want to.
17:11You be civil.
17:12You get into the bed.
17:13I'm too big.
17:14I've got a mustache.
17:15What's he supposed to be?
17:16A great big hairy bogey?
17:17It's something you get and you're pumped up.
17:20I'll ruin you.
17:22You'll never waitress in Talkie again.
17:25Waitress?
17:25That's a joke.
17:27I help out at reception.
17:28I clean the rooms.
17:28I deal with the tradesmen.
17:30I mend the switchboard.
17:31I changed the fuses.
17:32And if you think my duties now include impersonating members of your family,
17:36you have got one more screw loose than I thought.
17:38I'm not doing it.
17:39Do you understand?
17:40You get yourself out of it.
17:41It's nothing to do with me.
17:42A hundred for the car.
17:59All right.
17:59It's nothing to do with me.
18:00It's nothing to do with me.
18:01It's nothing to do with me.
18:02Now?
18:03Now?
18:03Now.
18:08Hello?
18:09It's no possible.
18:10What?
18:11It's no possible for me.
18:12Please come.
18:12What is it?
18:13It's terrible.
18:13Please come.
18:14Look, I'm busy.
18:14He tell me I don't know to make a paella.
18:18He tell me.
18:18You tell him.
18:19I tell him paella is a Spanish.
18:21You're not cockney stinking eel pie.
18:23Right.
18:23I make the paella like my mom.
18:26I'm not interested.
18:26My mother's recipe is big in Barcelona.
18:28Go away.
18:29No, please.
18:29You come.
18:30You come.
18:30He call me ignorant, wog, mother boy, crump.
18:34Let go of me.
18:34Now look.
18:35That's all.
18:35Forks?
18:36You tell Terry.
18:37Leave you alone.
18:38That's all.
18:38Yes, French.
18:39Go on.
18:40Go away.
18:40No.
18:41No no.
18:42Not you.
18:42Not you.
18:42Big in Barcelona.
18:44Big.
18:44Big.
18:44Are we supposed to come up there?
18:46Yes, in a moment, French.
18:48No, no, no.
18:49Come on up now.
18:50You know.
18:51Yes, come on up.
18:51Yes, she's just, you know, touching up the worst bits.
18:54How is she feeling, Basil?
18:56Well, I woke up her and told that you've come over.
18:58And she's very, very pleased, of course.
19:00But she's very weak and her throat, you know, she has great difficulty expressing it.
19:04Oh, dear.
19:04Makes a change.
19:09She'll be happy to see you in a moment.
19:10She's pretty quick with the old...
19:11Well, she's not bothering to make up for us, is she?
19:13Oh, no, no, no, no.
19:14Just, you know.
19:18She asked me to thank you and to say how very much she's looking forward to seeing you all.
19:22You're nice.
19:24She can speak a little then, can't she, Basil?
19:27Oh, no.
19:28Not really, no.
19:29No, I see what you mean.
19:30No, she wrote that down, actually, on one of the postcards.
19:32You know, she keeps by the side of...
19:34Did you stamp it?
19:39Basil, do you have an ashtray?
19:41Oh, yes, I'll just get one, Alice.
19:42Oh, Basil, don't...
19:42No, no, no, no, not at all.
19:44Just have a second.
19:45Mr. Faldi.
19:56Mr. Faldi.
19:59He put mince in it.
20:00He put bloody mince in it.
20:02What have you done?
20:03Oh, sorry, sorry.
20:05No, I tell him,
20:05Pai, he's a fisty.
20:07Go away, go away.
20:08What have you done?
20:08Go away.
20:09Up, let's go.
20:10Oh, no, no.
20:11Oh, no, no, no.
20:13Well, this is fun, isn't it?
20:15Roger.
20:16No, I mean, who wants to go to the boozer or play golf when you can come to one of Basil's
20:20dues?
20:21Come on, Roger.
20:23It can't be easy for him with Sibyl lying there ill.
20:26Well, you know what I think about that?
20:28What?
20:29Shh, shh, shh, shh.
20:31Oh well, I brought some nuts.
20:33Oh, Basil, yes.
20:34If you could just take the ashtray or we just...
20:36Oh, sorry.
20:38Never mind.
20:38I'll get some more, shall I?
20:40No, no, no, we've got the crisp.
20:41Are you sure?
20:41I don't mind.
20:42No, no, no, no, crisp will be lovely.
20:43Really?
20:43Oh, okay.
20:45Crisp, Alice?
20:46Oh, thank you.
20:47Arthur, would you like me?
20:48Not for me, thank you, baby.
20:48I'm sure.
20:49Kitty, would you like a crisp?
20:50Thank you, lovely.
20:50Just hold them.
20:51Here, I'll just get a brush.
20:52A basil brush.
20:56Broom, broom.
20:57Roger.
20:58What did you mean?
21:00Well, they've had a row.
21:01She's refused to come down.
21:02Roger.
21:03He's embarrassed her into seeing us.
21:05I'm not interested.
21:07I'm not interested.
21:12Oh, don't you bother.
21:13Name it to me.
21:14Here we are.
21:15Right, Basil.
21:18Basil.
21:19Hmm?
21:20Perhaps she's ready now.
21:22Oh, yes.
21:22Uh, good idea.
21:23Yes, I'll just have a look.
21:25Right.
21:28It's not quite.
21:30Nearly.
21:32Anyone care for someone else, Chris?
21:33Would you like...
21:34No, no, no, no.
21:36Have you got a choc ice?
21:39I'll put them there.
21:40You know, just help yourself.
21:41Nice carpet, Baz.
21:42Oh, thank you.
21:43Yes, a bit worn now.
21:44Oh, I thought that was part of the pattern.
21:45Nice paper, Basil.
21:49Oh, thank you, Alice.
21:49Yes, we got it together with the carpet, actually.
21:51Oh, with it?
21:51That's right, Roger.
21:52Yeah, well, one of them will have to go.
21:53My money's on the carpet.
21:55Please, sir.
21:56You read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you, Roger?
21:58Forks.
21:58I don't know if you've ever seen the molding out there, but one of...
22:01Oh, dear!
22:02It's all right.
22:03It's all right.
22:03Don't worry.
22:04Don't worry.
22:04I'll clean it up.
22:05What time's the main feature?
22:07Morning, Paul King.
22:08Lovely day for a round of golf.
22:10Morning, Major.
22:11Forks.
22:11Anyone care to make up a four?
22:13No no.
22:13We're going to see Sybil, Major.
22:15Ah, playing a match, is she?
22:17No no.
22:17She's ill.
22:18Really quite ill.
22:18Oh, she should be in bed, you know.
22:20Yes, she is.
22:21We're going in to see her.
22:22Oh, another lot in there with her, is there?
22:25May I introduces Major Garner, our oldest resident?
22:27I don't know if you know everyone.
22:29I'm very delighted to meet you.
22:31Welcome to Torquay.
22:32How do you do, by the way?
22:34I'm welcome to you, sir.
22:35It's all right.
22:36She's ready now.
22:36Come on in.
22:37Yes, not you.
22:40Oh, Sybil.
22:42Hello, darling.
22:43Don't try and speak.
22:44The gang's here.
22:45Sorry, you're not well.
22:46Such a shit.
22:47So we thought we'd come and wish you happy anniversary.
22:50Yes, happy anniversary.
22:51Oh, just a laugh.
22:52Reg has fallen over.
22:53You all right, Reg?
22:54She's done my ankles.
22:55Oh, dear.
22:56You all right, Reg?
22:57Careful.
22:58It's so dark in here.
22:59Bloody light's not worth it.
23:01I ticked off the table.
23:02Who's that?
23:04It's Kitty.
23:05Where are you, dear?
23:06We have some light in here, Bazz.
23:08Yes, all right.
23:08Hang on.
23:09Are you all right, dear?
23:10Here we are.
23:11Here we are.
23:11Please don't mind that.
23:12OK.
23:13Now the light's on.
23:14We can see the screen.
23:15Oh, dear.
23:16Are you all right, Kitty?
23:17Yes, oh.
23:19You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble, Bazz.
23:21Well, come on.
23:22Come on up here.
23:23OK?
23:23You both all right?
23:24Come on around there.
23:25OK?
23:25You can see her from there.
23:27Well, everything all right, dear?
23:29Here she is.
23:30Hello, Chibble.
23:31Oh, yeah.
23:31Hello.
23:32There's something there.
23:33I can see her moving.
23:35It's a bit dark, Bazz.
23:36Yes, well, her eyes are very sensitive.
23:37She's got her glasses.
23:39Yes, well, I'll just draw the curtains.
23:40Yes, yes, yes.
23:41I know the idea.
23:42It's all right.
23:42Trust me.
23:43Trust me.
23:43Trust me.
23:44Trust me.
23:46There we are.
23:47Is that better?
23:48Is that better?
23:48Happy anniversary.
23:49Happy anniversary.
23:50Happy anniversary.
23:51Happy anniversary.
23:51Oh, dear.
23:53How are you feeling, dear?
23:57Oh, it's a shame, isn't it?
24:00Oh, you're very swollen.
24:04Her thighs.
24:05The thighs.
24:06He brought you a cake.
24:07Oh, yes, yes.
24:08Have a little bit, dear.
24:10Oh, have a little bit, dear.
24:11Go on.
24:11Oh, yes.
24:13All right.
24:14Well, 15 years, huh?
24:16Happy anniversary.
24:17Oh, well done.
24:18Thank you.
24:19Well, well, well, well.
24:21How are you feeling?
24:23Yes, well, I think she's feeling a little bit tired.
24:25There's all that waving and where anyone else.
24:27Yes, I'm happy that I'm all.
24:30What's in her mouth?
24:31That white stuff?
24:33Just foam, you know, from the excitement.
24:3815 years, huh?
24:42What is it?
24:43What is it?
24:44I just remembered something downstairs.
24:46You stay here.
24:46Have a chat with Polly.
24:47Sybil, Sybil.
24:48I'll just shop him over.
24:50A chat?
24:51Does anyone know Semaphore?
24:55Hello, dear.
24:58I came back from my club's Basil and Nutstain.
25:00Oh, aren't you...
25:01OK.
25:03What?
25:04I'm sure you know best, dear.
25:06You don't even want me to, do you?
25:08Um, what's that?
25:1215 years I've been with you,
25:14when I think what I might have had.
25:1615 years.
25:17God.
25:19You want me to go, don't you?
25:21Oh, no, but you've obviously made your mind up, so...
25:23I won't forget this, Basil.
25:26Won't you do?
25:27No, I won't.
25:29I'm going now, Basil.
25:30I think it's best, don't you?
25:32All right, dear.
25:35Bye, Basil.
25:37Cheerio, dear.
25:39Drive carefully, dear.
25:42Get well soon.
25:42Look after yourself.
25:44We'll have a little party when you're feeling better.
25:46You know, I don't like leaving you like this, dear.
25:50Let me just have a little feel.
25:53Just to see if...
25:54Now, now, now, now.
25:55Don't be frightened.
25:57No, I'm not going to hurt you.
25:59Now, just feel your glands, dear.
26:02Now, don't be silly, Sibyl.
26:04Just trust me.
26:05It's for your own good.
26:07Now, don't be silly.
26:08Ah!
26:08What's going on?
26:11She hit me, Basil.
26:13What?
26:14I was trying to examine her.
26:16She lashed out.
26:17Don't.
26:18Don't hit our friends.
26:19I know you're not feeling 100%.
26:20Control yourself.
26:21I'm sorry.
26:22She's not herself today.
26:22Don't worry.
26:23The doctor will be over here soon.
26:24I'll give you a call.
26:25Tell you what he says.
26:26So, um, anyone care for another drink or...
26:29No, I don't.
26:30We ought to be going.
26:30It's going to be...
26:31It's quite nice.
26:32Right.
26:33They're all the same, dear.
26:38They're all the same.
26:40Believe me.
26:41Oh, I know.
26:42I know.
26:43Now, if you get all about it,
26:45we're going to have a nice game of golf
26:46and then go out to dinner.
26:50Did you get your clubs?
26:59Well, awfully nice to have seen you all.
27:01Thanks for your coming, Amber.
27:04No, not at all.
27:05We must do this more often,
27:06you know, when they're fit again.
27:08Yes, yes.
27:08Sorry about all the injuries.
27:09Still, um,
27:10you know, perhaps when Sybil's a bit better,
27:11we can all, um, get together
27:13and, you know, have a proper room.
27:20How extraordinary.
27:21We were just talking about you.
27:23Basil Fawlty.
27:24We met once.
27:24At a fate.
27:25Let me show you where it is.
27:26How is the North?
27:27Have you been up there at all recently?
27:29What's it?
27:29Oh, shit!
27:31I'll have to kill him, Mr. Bobby.
27:35I'll have to kill him.
27:36I will sound fucking fine on you.
27:38I'll explain everything in a moment.
27:42What about my father's like that?
27:44He's gone, man.
27:45He's gone, man.
27:46What a coincidence, sir.
27:49She's thinking you're buying one of our fridges.
27:51Well, lovely to have seen you.
27:53I'm sorry about the ankle.
27:55Why, I dress you, sir.
27:56Yes, keep your head right back.
27:59Sorry, those are displaying on.
28:01Great fun.
28:09Piece of cake.
28:10Now comes the tricky bit.
28:33Thank you.
28:34Thank you.
29:04Thank you.
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