- hace 4 meses
One of the hotel's guests dies in his sleep but Basil doesn't really notice and just goes about his business, delivering the man's breakfast to his room and then complaining that he was rude and didn't thank him. Polly soon realizes he is dead and Sybil asks another guest, Dr. Price, to attend to the situation. Basil thinks the out of date kippers were the cause, but he's been dead most of the night. Pandemonium sets in when they try to remove the body without any of the guests knowing what has happened. It doesn't quite go as planned.
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00:00Music
00:30And he loves peckens and walnuts
00:33And he simply adores his little cheese footballs, don't you, my darling?
00:39Oh, isn't he beautiful?
00:42Very attractive, little fella. What is it?
00:44He's a little Shih Tzu.
00:46Is he really? Oh, dear, dear, dear. What breed is it?
00:50Well, they're... they're lapdogs, aren't they?
00:54To lapdog? Oh, how hard to imagine him stalking a reindeer, what?
00:58Uh, Major, can I get you another one?
01:00Oh, why not, why not?
01:01Good. For you, Mrs. Chase?
01:02Oh, nothing for me, thank you.
01:04But Prince would like a little saucer of warm milk,
01:07because it's nearly our bedtime.
01:08Yes, Manuel... Manuel will attend to his heart's desires.
01:11I'm afraid I'm lumbered with the people tonight.
01:13And Manuel, um, please, the microscopic dog.
01:18Oh, good evening, Roger Price.
01:20Good evening.
01:20Uh, what can I get you?
01:22Scotch, please.
01:23And I suppose it's too late to get anything to eat, is it?
01:24I missed dinner.
01:25Uh, what did you have in mind?
01:27Well, I rather fancy some sausages.
01:29Oh, I'm afraid chef would have knocked them away.
01:32Uh, we could make you sandwiches.
01:33Ham, cheese, tomato.
01:34Uh, ham, thank you.
01:36Right, I'll just arrange it for you.
01:38Basil!
01:40SW?
01:41Could you make some ham sandwiches, please?
01:43Look, I'm trying...
01:43For Dr. Price.
01:44Oh, of course.
01:45Yes, one moment on you.
01:47Here we are, Major.
01:48Excuse me, clone.
01:50Found another draft, have we?
01:51We have to be very careful, Mr Fawlty.
01:54He's not very strong.
01:55Indeed, yes.
01:56A rapid movement of air could damage it irreparably.
01:59If, um...
01:59If only one could keep them in airtight containers.
02:02We had to breathe, would he, Fawlty?
02:04Well, he could try, Major.
02:05He could try.
02:06Anything else for you all?
02:07No, thank you.
02:08No, it's a bit late.
02:09We'd better get upstairs.
02:10Remove.
02:10Come on, please.
02:11Sorry to have kept you.
02:14Um, Doctor, one round, one round, two...
02:16Oh, just one, please.
02:18My pleasure.
02:20No no.
02:22She was the one he had with him the third time.
02:24The first one was the dowdy one.
02:26Then his wife.
02:27Then her.
02:28And now this red.
02:29Oh, yes.
02:30That must have been lovely.
02:31Number 12.
02:33Let's see.
02:35Thank you.
02:38How very lovely.
02:39Yes, that was them.
02:41Not much.
02:43They get less fussy as they get older.
02:45Sorry about this.
02:46Please, it couldn't matter less.
02:48We're meeting in the morning anyway.
02:49You've had a long journey.
02:50You get a good night's sleep.
02:51Now, you're sure you're feeling all right?
02:52Oh, fine, fine.
02:53Just a little...
02:53Oh, yes, of course.
02:54Well, you get straight to bed
02:55and we'll pick you up here at 9.30.
02:57We'll have a coffee
02:58and go into the MD at 10.
02:59Fine, thanks, OK.
03:01Good night.
03:02Sleep well.
03:02Good night.
03:03Goodbye.
03:04See you in the morning.
03:04See you at 9.30.
03:06Sorry.
03:07Harris.
03:08Oh, no, on his own again.
03:10Oh, no.
03:12I wouldn't have thought so.
03:12He watches football.
03:14Number eight, isn't it?
03:15Thank you.
03:16Where are we?
03:19Are you feeling all right?
03:20Not too good, no.
03:21Oh, dear.
03:22Would you like a little hot something?
03:23Oh, no, no.
03:24Fine, thank you.
03:24Oh well, if there's anything you need.
03:26Yes, thank you.
03:27No, that wasn't him.
03:28That was a new one.
03:29Good night.
03:32I said good night.
03:34Oh, good night.
03:35Didn't hurt, did it?
03:37Good manners cost nothing, dear.
03:39He's not feeling very well, Basil.
03:41He only had to say good night, dear.
03:42It's not the Gettysburg address, is it?
03:44Basil, when you're not feeling well...
03:45Just two little words, dear, to bring a little happiness into the world.
03:49Excuse me.
03:50Yes, Mr. Lehman, what can I do for you?
03:52Do you think I might have breakfast in bed in the morning?
03:54In bed?
03:55Forks.
03:55Of course, Mr. Lehman.
03:57Oh, yes, we can manage there, can we do that?
03:58Yes, we can.
03:58I'll call you back.
03:59Yes, is it your legs?
04:01I'm sorry.
04:02Well, most of our guests manage to struggle down in the morning.
04:04I won't do it.
04:06Full breakfast or the Continental?
04:08Oh, I don't know.
04:09Our chef makes a very good full breakfast.
04:11Eggs, bacon, sausage, tomato, fried bread.
04:14The Continental.
04:15You wouldn't care for kippers?
04:16Oh, fine, kippers, yes, thank you.
04:18Toast, batter, marmalade.
04:19Yes, thank you.
04:20Tea or coffee?
04:21Forks.
04:21Tea, thank you.
04:23And newspaper?
04:23The Telegraph.
04:24Thank you.
04:25Good night.
04:25Good night.
04:28Rosewood, mahogany, tea.
04:32I beg your pardon.
04:33What would you like your breakfast tray made out of?
04:36I don't really mind.
04:37Are you sure?
04:37Fine.
04:38Well, you go along and have a really good night's sleep, then.
04:40I'm hoping to get a couple of hours later on myself.
04:42I'll be up in good time to serve you your breakfast in bed.
04:45If you can remember to sleep with your mouth open,
04:47you won't even have to wake up.
04:48I'll just drop in small pieces of lightly buttered kipper
04:51when you're breathing in the right direction,
04:52if that doesn't put you out.
04:56Anything?
05:00Sausages, please.
05:01Just sausages?
05:02Mm.
05:03Just sausages.
05:04Tea or coffee?
05:04Coffee, please.
05:05What is it?
05:06Oh, no, not a sauce.
05:07I said a bowl.
05:10Hey, boy.
05:11Yes, I'm not cold like that.
05:12That's too cold.
05:13I said tepid, didn't I?
05:15Bigger, Manuel.
05:16Of hot water.
05:18Ah.
05:18Catch pneumonia from that.
05:20And bring another cushion.
05:21He's not quite high enough.
05:24Sausage is on sixth, Terry.
05:26Coming out.
05:26Bigger, Manuel.
05:27Another car strike.
05:29Do you believe it?
05:30Put these kippers back, would you, Basil?
05:31They ought to get the buslins to run our car factories.
05:33In the fridge.
05:35You should have been eaten by.
05:36When was the sixth?
05:37Oh, that's all right.
05:38It says on the packet, Sybil.
05:39They're all right, Mr. Fawlty.
05:41The sixth?
05:41That's just to cover them, sir.
05:43Eggs and sausages, Paul.
05:44On the table, on the table.
05:53No.
05:56That.
05:59Now, put that under him.
06:03The cushion, the cushion.
06:05See?
06:07Forks.
06:08He bite me.
06:11You frightened him.
06:13I care.
06:13You make sudden movements like that.
06:15Of course he's going to bite.
06:17Don't you have dogs in Calcutta?
06:22Excuse me, but I have an order for eggs and sausages for this table.
06:26Oh, yes.
06:27The sausages are for him.
06:28Oh.
06:30What's the matter, Manuel?
06:31He bite me.
06:33Cut them up.
06:34Cut them up into little pieces.
06:38No, not my eggs.
06:39Not my eggs.
06:40The sausages.
06:41Oh, sorry.
06:42He bite Polly, too, you see.
06:46Look, if dogs are allowed in the dining room, at least the staff should know how to handle
06:50them.
06:50I'll cut them up in the kitchen, Mr Chase.
06:52Little pieces.
06:56Get us ready.
06:57He hurt you, Polly.
06:58Hazel, what are you doing?
07:01Do you know when the six was, civil?
07:02Will you just take it upstairs?
07:04They're all right, Mr. Foley.
07:06How are you supposed to be that?
07:07Hazel, will you just take it up?
07:09What's the matter, Manuel?
07:09That hairy mosquito just bit us both.
07:11What?
07:12It's not right in dining room like that.
07:14Well, she pays extra for the dogman, well, you see.
07:16Hazel, it's after eight.
07:17Poisoning is still an offense in this country, you know.
07:19Oh, God, do get a move on.
07:20We've got a busy day.
07:21I've got the laundry men.
07:22The laundry men?
07:23My God.
07:24A woman's work is never delegated.
07:27What are you doing, Polly?
07:28Just preparing some sausages.
07:31Bangers a la bang.
07:38Good morning.
07:39Breakfast.
07:43Breakfast.
07:48Here we are.
07:49Another car strike.
07:50Marvelous, isn't it?
07:51Taxpayers pay millions each year.
07:52They get the money, go on strike.
07:54It's called socialism.
07:56I mean, if they don't like making cars,
07:57why don't they get themselves another bloody job
07:59designing cathedrals or composing violin concertos?
08:02The British Lain and Concerto,
08:03in four movements,
08:04all of them slow,
08:05with a four-hour tea break in between.
08:06I'll tell you why.
08:07Because they're not interested in anything
08:08except lounging them out in conveyor belts,
08:10stuffing themselves with my money.
08:11You don't mind if I turn the light off?
08:13Well, enjoy your breakfast.
08:17I'm sorry.
08:18I didn't catch that.
08:20Oh, not at all.
08:21Thank you for mentioning it.
08:25Unbelievable.
08:25Not a single lucky word.
08:30You get away at 5.30 in the morning
08:32so they can lounge around in bed until midday.
08:34Do you get so much as a word of thanks?
08:35What's that?
08:35I got the milk.
08:37Well, don't get talking to him.
08:38You never get away.
08:39Would you believe it?
08:40I get him his breakfast.
08:41I take it all the way upstairs.
08:43I lay it in front of him,
08:44hand him his newspaper.
08:45I tidy the room,
08:46draw the curtains,
08:46and guess what he says?
08:50I said, guess what he says?
08:51Nothing.
08:55Your friend,
08:55the one in eight.
08:56Nothing.
08:56Not a word.
08:58Are you listening?
08:59Hello?
08:59Hello?
09:00Can anybody hear me?
09:02Have I ceased to exist?
09:03Have I suddenly become invisible?
09:04Sybil, Sybil, Sybil,
09:05can you see me?
09:06No.
09:08Oh, good.
09:08Will I go and lie down then?
09:09No, I won't.
09:09I'll go and hit some guests.
09:12Oh, good.
09:13Oh, poor little tummock,
09:15rummock.
09:16Oh, no, it's me.
09:17Dr. Price's sausages.
09:23What is he, Polly?
09:25He's dead.
09:26Dead?
09:27Who?
09:27Number eight.
09:29Leland?
09:30But Basil's just took him his breakfast.
09:32He's cold.
09:33Oh, no.
09:38What's the matter with that dog?
09:40He is dead.
09:42Well, he's certainly struggling for life at the moment.
09:44Dead dog in the breakfast room, huh?
09:46Egon Roney'd knock off a star for that.
09:48No, no, Mr. Lehmann, dead.
09:51Well, that would explain a lot.
09:52No, Mr. Lehmann.
09:54Really?
09:55Paul just said so.
09:56What are you on about?
09:56I just took him his kippers.
09:59Oh, my God.
10:04Evenstead, I'm going to break up, break up.
10:05Wait.
10:07I just put the milk down on the tray.
10:09But I'd leave.
10:10What are you doing?
10:12What are you doing?
10:13I told her.
10:14I told her the sixth week you get 20 years for this.
10:16What?
10:17The kippers.
10:18The kippers.
10:18Oh, my God.
10:19Mr. Fawlty, he's been dead for hours.
10:21Mr. Fawlty.
10:23He's cold.
10:23He's been dead for hours.
10:24He must have died in his sleep.
10:26Mr. Fawlty.
10:27He hasn't touched those kippers.
10:30Well, look.
10:32Feel him.
10:34What?
10:34Feel him.
10:40He's tone cold.
10:41Forks.
10:41Oh, joy.
10:45Oh, thank you.
10:46Oh, isn't it wonderful?
10:48I'm so happy.
10:49Hooray!
10:52Sam, excuse me.
10:53Oh, it's cool.
10:59Bit stuffy, isn't it?
11:01I'll open a window.
11:02Who?
11:03Uh, who found the body?
11:05Polly did.
11:07I was bringing him up the milk, and we'd forgotten it.
11:11Did you bring the milk with the breakfast?
11:12No, the breakfast was already up.
11:15Well, who brought the breakfast?
11:17Who found it?
11:20Oh, I brought the breakfast.
11:23What's that?
11:24Um, that's a bit of it.
11:26A bit of what?
11:27A bit of the breakfast.
11:29Did you bring him his breakfast?
11:31Forks.
11:32So you told her how he was dead?
11:33Forks.
11:34Well, then, why did you bring him...
11:37Why did you bring him the milk, then?
11:41Why?
11:42Forks.
11:43Why?
11:44Well, when he said Mr. Lehman was dead,
11:47I thought he said he's still in bed.
11:49Well, he didn't exactly say he was dead, Doctor.
11:51Well, I said he was pretty quiet.
11:53Quiet?
11:53Exactly.
11:54What were you talking to him about, Basil?
11:56Car strikes, was it?
11:58Thank you, Sybil.
11:59I don't understand.
12:00He's been dead for about ten hours.
12:02It's so final, isn't it?
12:03Basil, well, wouldn't you say it was final, dear?
12:05I'd say it was pretty bloody ending.
12:07Do you mean to tell me you didn't realize this man was dead?
12:10Well, people don't talk that much in a morning.
12:11Oh, look, I'm just delivering a tray, right?
12:13If the guest isn't singing,
12:14Oh, what a beautiful morning,
12:15I don't immediately think,
12:16Oh, there's another one snuffed it in the night,
12:17another name in the Fawlty Tower's Book of Remembrance.
12:20I mean, this is a hotel,
12:21not the Burma Railway.
12:22Forks.
12:23Well, I mean, he does actually say hotel outside.
12:25I mean, perhaps I should be more specific.
12:27Hotel for people
12:28who has a better than 50% chance
12:29of doing it through the night.
12:31What do you...
12:32What are you looking at me like that for?
12:37Basil,
12:38there's a kipper sticking out of your junk.
12:40Oh, there it is.
12:45I've been looking for that.
12:46That's the other one.
12:48We'll be downstairs, Doctor.
12:50Shall I ring the undertaker?
12:51Would you, Polly?
12:52I've been up since 5.30, you know.
12:57He was leaving today.
12:59Some people are coming at lunchtime.
13:00Well, we'll put him in another room.
13:01We're full tonight.
13:02Oh, do put that away.
13:05Get the body into the office
13:07until the undertaker's come.
13:08Now.
13:08When Doctor's finished.
13:10What are you doing?
13:15Making up his bill.
13:17Who are you going to give it to?
13:18Well, leave it in his wallet.
13:19They're bound to look there.
13:20Better not charge him for breakfast.
13:23Mr. Simpkins?
13:25Fawlty Tower's here.
13:26I'm afraid someone's died during the night.
13:29When could you collect the body?
13:31Somebody?
13:31Anyone, really?
13:32Good morning, good morning.
13:34Oh, you're very careful this morning, Mr. Fawlty.
13:36Yes, well, what are the guests that just died?
13:40You are wicked.
13:42Manuel, Manuel, Manuel.
13:46Manuel, we go and get the body.
13:49Body, body, body.
13:50Yes, if you can.
13:51Oh, would it be all right to move?
13:52Thank you.
13:57Put it in the phone, please.
13:58I have to call the coroner.
13:59The coroner?
14:00I can't give him his death certificate.
14:01I'm not his doctor.
14:02I have to report his death to the coroner.
14:03Oh, I see, of course.
14:04Do come this way, doctor.
14:07All clear.
14:08All clear.
14:09It's heavy.
14:12Good morning, then, Bill.
14:13Oh, good morning.
14:14Oh, it's all right.
14:16Leave it.
14:17No, leave it.
14:17It's heavy.
14:18Oh, no, it's quite all right.
14:18Put them like that.
14:19No, no, don't bother.
14:19We can manage.
14:20Oh, just don't bother.
14:21No, no, leave it alone.
14:21I know.
14:22If I just fold them like this.
14:23Yes, go away.
14:24Move, move, move, move, move, move.
14:25I'll do it, Miss Tidd.
14:28No, it's all right.
14:31He's dead.
14:32Very right.
14:35It's all right, Miss Tidd.
14:36Shut up, shut up.
14:37Oh, my God.
14:38Slap her, slap her, slap her.
14:39What?
14:40She's hysterical.
14:41Slap her.
14:41Murder.
14:42Slap her.
14:43Slap her.
14:47Oh, spiffing.
14:48Absolutely spiffing.
14:49Well done.
14:51Two dead, 25 to go.
14:54Quick, point, point.
14:55I just dropped my ring.
15:05Oh, there it is.
15:07Oh, sorry, I'm in your way.
15:10That's quite all right.
15:14Oh, is this your room?
15:15Forks.
15:16It's lovely, isn't it?
15:17Forks.
15:18Did you enjoy your breakfast?
15:20Oh, yes, thank you, yes.
15:21Do you think we could just go inside and get on?
15:24Not really.
15:24Pardon?
15:26Well, it's been cleaned.
15:28Mr. Fawlty's doing it.
15:29But we want to get our things.
15:30Yes, we're going out, you see.
15:31Oh, well, it'll only take a couple of minutes.
15:33Oh, I'm sorry.
15:33We're a little late.
15:34Excuse me.
15:35Excuse me.
15:36Mr. Fawlty?
15:37Mr. Fawlty?
15:38Oh, dear.
15:39Mr. Fawlty?
15:40We need to know you about it.
15:42Mr. and Mrs. White want to come into their room.
15:44Wait a minute.
15:52Hello.
15:54Oh, can we come in?
15:56I was just explaining that you were doing the room.
15:58Yes, it won't be five minutes.
15:59Well, couldn't you do it later?
16:03Pick that ash strap.
16:04Will you, Manuel, please?
16:05The big one.
16:06Could we do it later?
16:07When we've got our things.
16:08Well, it'll only be a couple of minutes.
16:10Look, Fawlty, we want our things.
16:12Oh, right, yes, thank you so much.
16:17He's locked it.
16:18Oh well, that's just a precaution.
16:22Have you locked this?
16:23Only slightly.
16:27Will you let us in?
16:29In a bit.
16:31Now, get the coats.
16:32Here, get the coats.
16:35What's going on?
16:36Well, he's a bit of a perfectionist.
16:41Ready?
16:43What's been going on in here?
16:45Well, we tried rearranging the furniture,
16:47but it didn't really work.
16:47Manuel has your coats.
16:55It's all right.
16:56He's from Barcelona.
16:59What's that noise?
17:00Oh, it's just my back.
17:01No, no, that morning.
17:03Oh, yes, that's all.
17:04No, no, it's coming from the cupboard.
17:07Well, we'll get some oil.
17:08Have a nice day.
17:08Is someone in there?
17:10What?
17:10Yes, listen.
17:11No, no, no.
17:13Oh, Pete.
17:14Good Lord, so there is.
17:16Let them out.
17:16Good idea.
17:17Right.
17:17Well, go on.
17:19Yes, we're going to.
17:19It's the next thing on the list.
17:20Oh, if you do get a chance to visit the museum...
17:23Open it now, will you?
17:24Oh, all right, yes, right.
17:28Oh, it's locked.
17:29Oh, damn.
17:30Where's the key?
17:31Yes, sir, where is the key?
17:32Do you have any idea about polling, Manuel?
17:33I expect we'd love to dance there somewhere.
17:35Okay.
17:36Where's the key?
17:36It's in your pocket.
17:37No, it isn't.
17:38Yes, it is.
17:38No, it's not.
17:39Yes, it is.
17:40Yes, it is.
17:41Yes, it is.
17:42Yes, it is.
17:42Oh, well done, Manuel.
17:44Thank you very much.
17:45Thank you.
17:45Right.
17:46Well, we've got it now.
17:47Give it to me.
17:47All right, all right.
17:48I will.
17:48I will.
17:48I will.
17:49Now, I've warned you about this before.
18:00You can hide it in your own cupboard, but not in other people's.
18:03I'm sorry about this.
18:04You can't really blame her.
18:04She doesn't have much in her life.
18:05She has to make her own entertainment.
18:07She has trouble with her arm.
18:09That's why she goes on the cupboard.
18:10Exactly.
18:11Are you feeling better?
18:12Her arm gets stuck there.
18:14It's always happening to her.
18:15He's dead.
18:17This is her husband.
18:17She hasn't got over it.
18:18I've died 30 years ago.
18:19She doesn't mean any arm.
18:22In the cupboard.
18:23No more today.
18:25You've had enough.
18:26Oh, my God.
18:27Look at that.
18:27Look.
18:28Look.
18:29Look.
18:40Thank you.
18:41Thank you, Manuel.
18:42Thank you.
18:43That's enough.
18:44Anything else we can do for you?
18:48What was so horrible, Mrs. Fawlty?
18:52You've no idea.
18:53Oh, I know.
18:55It was pitch black in there.
18:56And that thing with its hand.
18:59Oh, I know.
19:00Oh, I know.
19:02Now, you have a little rest and try to think of something else.
19:05But anything could have happened.
19:07Well, he was dead, dear.
19:08A man is a man, Mrs. Fawlty.
19:11Oh, I know.
19:13I shall speak to him about it.
19:14Speak to him?
19:15To Mr. Fawlty.
19:16We're his oldest residence.
19:18Well, have a little rest first.
19:20Frightening me like that.
19:21I shall speak to him.
19:23Have a word with him in a little while when you're feeling better.
19:27I see.
19:28Forks.
19:29Thank you.
19:30It's all right, dear.
19:31They've got rooms at the sea view.
19:32Tonight?
19:33Forks.
19:33Well, let's have a look at it.
19:34Forks.
19:34And if that's no good, we'll try the one up by the prophylactic emporium.
19:38Forks.
19:40Okay.
19:46Very, very.
19:52Morning, Fawlty.
19:53Oh, hello, Major.
19:54Any sign of the papers?
19:57You've got it, Major.
19:58Have I?
19:59Oh, yes, I have.
20:00Oh, I say.
20:02I say, but he doesn't look remove the ticket.
20:04Major, don't say anything to anyone.
20:08But he's dead.
20:09Ah.
20:10Shot, was he?
20:13No, no, he died in his sleep.
20:14In his sleep?
20:15Ah, well, you're off your guard, you see.
20:18Yes, yes, Fawlty.
20:19Fawlty, I shouldn't let him lie around here, you know.
20:22No, no, no, the undertakers are coming to get him.
20:24Ah, because they attract the flies, you see.
20:29Look, I've been waiting in there.
20:31What?
20:32I haven't had any breakfast yet.
20:33Oh, right, sorry.
20:35Coming, coming.
20:36It's only sausages.
20:43Mr. Fawlty.
20:44Mr. Fawlty.
20:45I want a word, will you please?
20:53Sorry about the delay, Doctor.
20:55Normal service has been resumed as soon as possible.
20:59More coffee?
21:00Tee, Tee, I'll turn the radio back.
21:12Oh.
21:13Oh.
21:14Miss Deeps.
21:15Oh, no.
21:16Would you believe it?
21:17What did you put him there for?
21:18Well, he wouldn't fit the safe and all the doors were full.
21:20Come on, man.
21:21Well, isn't it our guests?
21:24They give us trouble even when they're dead.
21:25Come on.
21:27Where are you taking him?
21:28Kitchen.
21:29Here.
21:32Holly!
21:33Just a moment.
21:43Hello.
21:43Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:44Hello.
21:45Hello.
21:45Hello.
21:45Hello.
21:45Hello.
21:46Hello.
21:46Hello.
21:47Hello.
21:47Hello.
21:48Hello.
21:49Hello.
21:49Hello.
21:50Hello.
21:57Be serious, you.
21:58Oh, dear.
21:59Oh, don't you stand there.
22:00Call a vet.
22:01Right.
22:15Sorry about them.
22:16Been overdone, I'm afraid.
22:17Send them down the crematory.
22:18No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:49I'm looking after Miss Tibbs, Basil.
22:51How are you feeling, dear?
22:52Won't be two minutes.
22:53Okay.
22:55Sorry about that, Doctor.
22:56Wash your hands first, please.
22:58Oh, right.
22:59And make sure this area is scrubbed before any more food is prepared in here.
23:02Absolutely.
23:03Sausage is accepted.
23:04You may cook them immediately.
23:05I'll take the risk.
23:06Oh, of course.
23:07Too sweet.
23:11Leave it.
23:12No, no, I take it.
23:13Leave it.
23:14No, no, it's no time.
23:15Please.
23:15No, no, no, please.
23:16I'm sitting here.
23:17Is no lunch till 12?
23:18I'm still having breakfast.
23:20It's finished.
23:21All gone.
23:22Breakfast kaput.
23:23I'm having sausages.
23:25He's not allowed.
23:27Put that there.
23:28Look, I'm a doctor.
23:29I'm a doctor and I want my sausages.
23:31I tell you, it's finished.
23:33Bye-bye, please.
23:34Bye-bye.
23:39Now, look.
23:40It's finished.
23:42Give those to me.
23:44Come on, come on.
23:45No.
23:45It's not possible.
23:51Is everything all right?
23:53He wants to eat now.
23:54I've been trying to sit down.
23:55He keeps moving things from my table.
23:56I'm so sorry.
23:57He doesn't seem to understand
23:58that I haven't finished breakfast.
23:59Mind well.
24:03Mind well, let me explain.
24:05Ah!
24:07You understand?
24:08Look.
24:09I've been ready in just a couple of minutes.
24:10There we are, Mr. Ingram's number eight.
24:16Top of the stairs on the right.
24:17Excuse me, not coming up with you.
24:19One of our guests has been taken ill.
24:20Thank you.
24:27Ah!
24:28Excuse me.
24:29In the office.
24:31Excuse me?
24:32Forks?
24:32We have an appointment with Mr. Lehman.
24:36Do you know where he is?
24:37Where he is?
24:38Would he be in the dining room?
24:46Might he be in his room?
24:48Let me think.
24:49Where is...
24:52We've come to collect him.
24:54We're taking him to me.
24:56We've come to collect him.
24:58Oh, you've come to collect him?
25:00Oh, I'm sorry.
25:01I didn't realize.
25:03Modern dress.
25:05What?
25:05Your dress is very modern.
25:08I didn't realize women did it.
25:11Did what?
25:11Shh.
25:13He's downstairs.
25:15No no.
25:16In the basket.
25:18I beg your pardon?
25:20He's in the basket.
25:21In the basket?
25:22Forks.
25:23Hello.
25:24What's...
25:25Hmm?
25:26What's he doing in the basket?
25:28No.
25:29Well, not much.
25:33What are you talking about?
25:35Don't you believe...
25:36Look, look.
25:37Oh, look.
25:46Oh, my God, he's gone.
25:48Where is he?
25:49Fresh laundry.
25:50They've taken him.
25:51Oh!
25:51Oh!
25:52Oh!
25:52Oh!
25:52Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:53Oh!
25:54Oh!
25:54Oh!
25:55Oh!
25:55Oh!
25:56Oh!
25:56Oh!
25:57Oh!
25:57Oh!
25:58Oh!
25:58Oh!
26:06Basil!
26:07If you could just hang on a couple of minutes.
26:09Sorry to keep you.
26:10Oh!
26:11Oh!
26:12Oh!
26:12Oh!
26:13It's all right.
26:14It's all right.
26:15We sorted it out.
26:17He's in this one.
26:18Oh!
26:19The doctor didn't want him in the kitchen,
26:22so we've put him in the basket.
26:23It's more hygienic.
26:25Basil!
26:26Oh!
26:26Yes, you do work here.
26:31Forks.
26:31Well, we'd like to speak to the manager.
26:33Well, I'm the manager.
26:34Is there a problem?
26:36Well, he is, really.
26:39No, um, there seems to be some kind of misunderstanding here.
26:42We've come to collect one of your guests,
26:44to Mr. Lehman,
26:45to take him into town for a meeting.
26:47Meeting?
26:48Yes, a meeting.
26:49With our managing director.
26:54Oh, I see!
26:55Mr. Lehman!
26:56Forks!
26:58We thought you said
26:59the linen!
27:00Brilliant!
27:01Sorry, sorry.
27:01That's it.
27:02That's it.
27:03Sorry to keep you.
27:04Hello, my sweet.
27:05What are you doing, Basil?
27:06Well, it's a bit involved, dear,
27:07but we thought that,
27:08these gentlemen thought that we thought
27:10that they're coming up there.
27:11No, no, no, no, no, that's not it.
27:11No, no, no, no, no.
27:12They were coming for Mr. Lehman,
27:14and we thought that they were coming to collect the linen.
27:17Mr. Lehman!
27:18Yes, so if you just sort that one out, dear,
27:20I'll take the linen upstairs, okay?
27:22I see.
27:22Thank you, Basil.
27:23Not at all.
27:29Would you mind coming into the office for a moment?
27:36Right.
27:38Another one, Fawlty?
27:40No, no, same one, Major.
27:41Ah.
27:46Oh, sorry, sorry.
27:47Come here like that.
27:48Sorry.
27:50They've gone in the guitar.
27:51In there.
27:52Oh, sorry.
27:59Oh, sorry.
28:04Wrong, wrong.
28:05I'm very tired.
28:07Come here.
28:08Come here.
28:08It's so much.
28:10Now, please.
28:14Back the basket.
28:15I can't live.
28:16Come on, come on.
28:16No, do this.
28:17You're too tired.
28:18Is somebody coming?
28:18Mr. Fawlty,
28:19I don't want to work here anymore.
28:21Open the basket.
28:23Open the basket.
28:27Now, inside.
28:30Not you.
28:31I quit.
28:32Get out.
28:32I'm on strike.
28:33I'm warning you.
28:34I stay here, isn't I?
28:37You see this?
28:38You're next.
28:39Really, I'm so sorry.
28:43Thank you.
28:43Thank you.
28:44Goodbye.
28:45Goodbye.
28:45Goodbye.
28:47Goodbye.
28:48Goodbye.
28:48Goodbye.
28:48Goodbye.
28:49Goodbye.
28:51Forks?
28:53Could I get my hat?
28:55Your hat?
28:56Forks.
28:57It's just there.
28:58Yes, I'll have it sent on.
29:00What?
29:00Do you have a card?
29:01With your address, I'll send it on.
29:03Well, could I just get it?
29:04Well, do you have to have it now?
29:08Well, yes.
29:09Well, supposing you lose it?
29:11I mean, it's windy today.
29:12I'd like to have it.
29:13Oh, right.
29:16Manuel!
29:18Manuel!
29:19He's in the basket.
29:20Man, oh, Polly, would you get Manuel out of the basket, please?
29:23Manuel?
29:23Yes, come on, girl.
29:24Come on.
29:24What's the matter?
29:25Well, he isn't in there.
29:26Yes, he is.
29:27He isn't.
29:28He is.
29:29Look for him.
29:30Oh, sorry.
29:32You big scum.
29:34See?
29:37Manuel, would you get this gentleman in his hat, please?
29:39Where?
29:40There.
29:40On the rack.
29:42Sorry, what color was it?
29:43Brown.
29:44Brown.
29:44No, that's not it.
29:45No.
29:46Thank you.
29:47Mr. Fawlty, I want a word with you in your office.
29:50Yes, when would it be convenient for you?
29:52I'm 79.
29:54What on earth is going on here?
29:55Oh, sorry about the idea.
29:56I only got a bit caught.
29:57My baby.
29:58My baby's dying.
29:59They poisoned him.
30:01Oh, baby.
30:02Sybil.
30:02He said he'd call for a vet.
30:04A vet?
30:05Sybil.
30:05I've just cooked these sausages myself and they're off.
30:08They should have been eaten by the fern.
30:10Ah, there you are, dear.
30:11You do look nice.
30:12Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen,
30:13Ladies and gentlemen, there have been a lot of cock-ups this morning.
30:19You all deserve an explanation and I'm happy to say that my wife will give it to you.
30:22Thank you.
30:23Thank you, sir.
30:24I would like to make you a good name.
30:35What's going on, old boy?
30:38Basil!
30:39Basil!
30:40Basil!
30:41Basil!
30:42Basil!
30:43Basil!
30:43Basil!
30:44Basil!
30:45Basil!
30:45!
31:02Basil!
31:03Thank you.
31:33Thank you.
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