- hace 3 semanas
When two doctors register for rooms at Fawlty Towers, Basil is delighted. Soon thereafter, Basil discovers that one is a psychiatrist. Basil is terrified of what the psychiatrist might think of him. The doctor has no interest in analyzing Basil; he merely wants to enjoy his stay at the hotel. Meanwhile, a handsome young playboy has checked into one of the "single" rooms, and Basil is determined to prove that the man has a lady visitor. Another visitor to the hotel is an attractive young single woman. Basil manages to make a fool of himself while trying to avoid what he believes to be the psychiatrist's scrutiny.
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00:00Oh
00:29Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
00:33Hello?
00:34What a shame.
00:35Manuel?
00:36Hello, operator. What is going on?
00:37Oh, I know.
00:39I've been trying to get through with the speaking clock.
00:43Oh, dear.
00:45Well, it's engaged.
00:47How awful.
00:49Well, it's been engaged for ten minutes. How is this possible? My wife isn't talking to it?
00:53Well, hold your head right back. That usually stops it.
00:57Right. Speaking clock has obviously taken the phone off the hook.
01:00Either that or there's been a light shower within 20 miles.
01:03Well, you'd better not go on if he's getting on the bedspread.
01:07Unobtainable. Clock's been cut off. Obviously, it didn't pay its bill.
01:11Well, call me back when you staunched it.
01:14I don't know why she stays with him. Oh, that's pretty.
01:18Oh, hello. You've got your guide.
01:20Good evening, Mr Johnson.
01:22Evening. Any messages?
01:23Oh, three, I think.
01:25Three. Everybody wants you, don't they?
01:28I wouldn't say that.
01:29Oh, well. You're only single once.
01:32Twice can be arranged.
01:35What, Basil?
01:37Nothing, my dear.
01:39We've got enough bananas this week, dear?
01:41So, Harry says, you don't like me anymore. Why not?
01:57And he says, because you've got so terribly pretentious.
02:00And Harry says, pretentious?
02:01Moi.
02:04I'll just try that number.
02:05Oh, that's awfully good, isn't it?
02:08Moi.
02:10Did you hear it, Basil?
02:12What, dear?
02:12The joke.
02:13Oh, a joke. Now I heard you laugh.
02:14I thought perhaps he was having a tea party.
02:17Tea party?
02:19Oh, now I understand the banana reference.
02:21You mean you think he looks like a monkey?
02:23Only from some angles.
02:25Well, from my angle, he's very attractive.
02:28Attractive?
02:29You know, easy and amusing and charming.
02:32Charming, eh?
02:33Well, he's certainly covered in charms.
02:35I've never seen so many medals round one neck in my life.
02:37He must be the bravest orangutan in Britain.
02:40What is the point of decorating yourself like that?
02:42They're not just for decoration.
02:44They have symbolic meaning.
02:46Sybil, that type would wear a dog turd round its neck
02:48if it was made of gold.
02:50Basil, you're so ignorant sometimes.
02:53One of them happens to be a rhino's tooth.
02:56One's an ancient Egyptian fertility symbol.
02:58Well, that must come in handy.
03:00It's not supposed to be handy, Basil.
03:02It goes back to the dawn of civilisation.
03:05Well, by the look of his forehead, so does he.
03:08Tell me, Basil, what is it about the Mediterranean type
03:11that antagonises you so?
03:13Is it because women find them attractive?
03:15Sybil, I...
03:16You seem to think that we girls should be aroused
03:18by people like Gladstone and Earl Haig and Baden-Poor, don't you?
03:22Well, at least they had a certain dignity.
03:23It's hard to imagine Earl Haig wandering around
03:25with his shirt open at the waist,
03:26covered with identity bracelets.
03:28Well, he didn't mind the medals, did he?
03:31The military decorations.
03:33That's not the point.
03:34I suppose the reason you confuse them with monkeys
03:36is that monkeys have fun.
03:37They know how to enjoy themselves.
03:40That's what makes them sexy, I suppose.
03:41I never thought of that.
03:42Good evening.
03:43Good evening.
03:43I turned a minute earlier.
03:44The name is Abbott.
03:45Oh, yes.
03:46There hasn't been a cancellation, I'm afraid,
03:49so it is still a room without bar.
03:50That's fine.
03:51Oh, good.
03:52Would you just fill that in for me, please?
03:56Yes, we're terribly busy at the moment.
03:59Just enjoying myself.
04:00Good evening.
04:02Good evening.
04:02Good evening.
04:03Thank you, Mr. Abbott.
04:09Oh, Dr. Abbott, sorry.
04:12Doctor?
04:12Yes.
04:13I'm terribly sorry.
04:14We hadn't been told.
04:15We hadn't been told you were a doctor.
04:17Oh.
04:17How do you do, doctor?
04:18Very nice to have you with us, doctor.
04:20You're in room five, doctor.
04:22And Mrs. Abbott?
04:23How do you do?
04:23Dr. Abbott, actually.
04:25Sorry?
04:25Dr. Abbott.
04:26Two doctors.
04:28You're two doctors?
04:29Yes.
04:29Well, how did you become two doctors?
04:31It's most unusual.
04:32I mean, did you take the exam twice?
04:34No.
04:34My wife's a doctor.
04:36I'm a doctor.
04:37You're a doctor, too.
04:38So you're three doctors.
04:39No, I'm just...
04:39I'm just one doctor.
04:42My wife is another doctor.
04:43Manuel!
04:44Your room is at the top of the stairs and on to the left.
04:46Oh, I see.
04:47You see, I thought when you said two doctors.
04:49But, er...
04:50Manuel, would you take the doctor's cases up to number five, please?
04:53Yes, this way, please, doctors.
04:55Yes, when you said that there were two doctors,
04:57I thought perhaps you were a doctor of medicine.
04:59Perhaps a doctor of...
05:00Did you get through all right?
05:01One was busy.
05:02I'll try again in a minute.
05:03Look, I forgot to ask.
05:04Any news on that room for my mother?
05:05Oh, yes.
05:06Number 16 has decided to stay, I'm afraid.
05:09I tried a couple of other places for you,
05:11but everywhere's full at the moment.
05:12Oh, well, no hassle.
05:13She won't mind sharing with me.
05:14Lucky mum.
05:16I'll just go and try that number again.
05:17Oh, here, use this one.
05:19Oh, thank you.
05:23May I ask the sign on the chain by the Egyptian fertility symbol?
05:29What is that?
05:30Um, no, it's, um, Greek astrological sign.
05:33Oh, it's beautiful.
05:34Where did you get it?
05:36Um, Colchester, I think.
05:38Colchester.
05:39Oh, hello.
05:40Can I speak to John Lawson, please?
05:41Oh, all right.
05:42I'll hold on.
05:43So, your mother will be arriving tomorrow?
05:45Yes, first thing.
05:46She's getting the overnight train down from Newcastle.
05:49Newcastle?
05:49Yeah, visiting grandchildren.
05:50She's 77.
05:5277.
05:53Isn't that amazing?
05:55Old people are wonderful when they have so much life, aren't they?
05:59Gives us all hope, doesn't it?
06:02My mother, on the other hand, is a little bit of a trial, really.
06:07You know, it's all right when they have the life force, but Mother, well, she's got more
06:11of the death force, really.
06:13She's a warrior.
06:15No, no, it's all right.
06:15I'll hold.
06:16She has these, well, morbid fears they are, really.
06:21Vans is one.
06:25Rats, doorknobs, birds, heights, open spaces, confined spaces.
06:34It's very difficult getting the space right for her, really, you know.
06:38And footballs, bicycles, cows.
06:45And she's always on about men following her.
06:47I don't know what she thinks they're going to do to her.
06:50Vomit on her, Basil says.
06:52Can I leave my number?
06:54He can call me back.
06:55And death.
06:56Oh, I see, right.
06:57She's frightened of death.
06:59I've told her there's nothing she can do about it.
07:01On about it the whole time she is.
07:03I mean, nature can only take its course.
07:05The only thing you can hope for is that it won't be long drawn out.
07:08And painful, but she can't accept that.
07:10Oh, excuse me.
07:11Hello, John.
07:12How are you?
07:13No, fine.
07:13I'm just down for the weekend.
07:17Charming people.
07:19The Abbott.
07:20Charming couple.
07:21Yes, all three of them.
07:23All right for the night.
07:24You know, that outfit that Mrs Abbott was wearing,
07:28you should get yourself something like that.
07:29Oh, for the gardening, you mean?
07:31No, I can't tomorrow night.
07:32How about lunch?
07:33Yes, attractive woman.
07:34How old would you say she was, Sibyl?
07:3648, 50.
07:37Oh, now, Sibyl.
07:38I really don't know, Basil.
07:39Perhaps she's 12.
07:41Now, favourite, magic.
07:43Yeah, it's nice to have that kind of person staying, isn't it?
07:45Professional class, educated, civilised.
07:48We've got both ends of the evolutionary scale this week.
07:55Evening.
07:56We're just going out for a stroll.
07:58What time do you say, dinner?
07:597.30 till 9.
08:00See you tomorrow, then.
08:01Sure.
08:01Do you have a guide to Torquay?
08:04A guide?
08:05Oh, dear, I think we're out of them again.
08:07Do you want to look at this one?
08:07I've got it in town.
08:08Oh, thanks.
08:10Yes, what's on in Torquay?
08:11Yes, one of the world's shortest books.
08:13Ah!
08:14What?
08:17One of the world's shortest books.
08:19Like the wit of Margaret Thatcher.
08:21Or Great English Lovers.
08:23Oh, that's very funny, isn't it, Pat?
08:28Are you taking dinner here tonight?
08:31Sorry?
08:31Are you dining here tonight, here in this unfashionable dump?
08:34I wasn't planning to.
08:36No, not really your scene, is it?
08:37I thought I'd try somewhere in town.
08:38Anywhere you'd recommend?
08:39Oh, what sort of food were you thinking of?
08:41Fruit, or...?
08:42Anywhere they do French food.
08:44Yes, France, I believe.
08:45They seem to like it, eh?
08:47And a swim would certainly sharpen your appetite.
08:49You'd better hurry.
08:49The tide leaves in six minutes.
08:51Excuse my husband's sledgehammer wit, Mr Johnson.
08:55There is a very nice place, La Pomme d'Amour.
08:58Oh, La Pomme d'Amour, the apple of love.
09:00Yes, in Orchard Street.
09:02Or that ancient Egyptian place, the golden dog, something?
09:06Do enjoy yourself. We'll see you later.
09:10I have had it up to here with you.
09:12What, dear?
09:13You never get it right, do you?
09:14You're either crawling all over them, licking their boots,
09:17or spitting poison at them like some Benzedrine puffadder.
09:21Just trying to enjoy myself.
09:28Ah, did you enjoy your beef?
09:29Oh, yes, thank you.
09:30Ah, good.
09:31Would you care for a dessert?
09:32No, just coffee, thank you.
09:34Just coffee for me.
09:35Two coffees, Sybil.
09:35Two coffees, here, please, dear.
09:37Would you care for a little something with us?
09:39A little aperitif, cognac, brandy, on us, with us,
09:42which we'll pay for on the house?
09:43Well, sir, thank you.
09:46Yes, I'd like a cognac, if I may.
09:48A doctor?
09:48A port, thank you.
09:49Mon plaisir.
09:52Coffee for you, Doctor.
09:54And for you, Doctor.
09:55Have you been to Tolki before?
09:57Well, not for a few years.
09:58No, we had a free weekend,
10:00and we suddenly thought we'd like to get out of London.
10:02Lovely.
10:02White or black?
10:03Black, thank you.
10:04And black for you, Doctor.
10:07Thanks, girl.
10:08Cognac for you, Doctor.
10:09It's rather fascinating you're both being doctors.
10:11Port for you, Doctor.
10:12At one stage, I was contemplating becoming a surgeon.
10:15A tree surgeon.
10:18Thank you, Sybil.
10:19Had to give it up.
10:20Couldn't stand the sight of sap.
10:24It's a bit old, isn't it, Derms?
10:26My great-grandfather on my mother's side was a doctor,
10:28so it was always felt that I might...
10:29Run a hotel.
10:31Are you...
10:32Are you both in general practice?
10:35No, I'm a paediatrician.
10:37Feet?
10:38Children.
10:40Well, children have feet, don't they?
10:42That's how they move around, my dear.
10:43You must take a look next time.
10:44It's most interesting.
10:45And you, Doctor, are you...
10:46I'm a psychiatrist.
10:47Very nice, too.
10:48Well, cheers.
10:52I'll get you another one.
10:53Sorry.
10:54A psychiatrist?
10:55How fascinating.
10:57We never had a psychiatrist stay here before.
10:59We had a faith healer
11:01the first month we were open.
11:03Really?
11:04It's a relatively new profession,
11:05psychiatry, isn't it?
11:07Well, Freud started about 1880.
11:09Yes, but it's only now
11:10we're seeing them on the television.
11:13Here you are.
11:14I must just excuse you.
11:16How long have you had this hotel?
11:18Well, my husband...
11:19Keep going, keep going.
11:20What is it?
11:21Abbott.
11:22What's the matter with him?
11:23Psychiatrist.
11:24Look at him.
11:25Look.
11:26Look at the way he's listening.
11:26See?
11:27He's taking it all in.
11:27She doesn't realize.
11:28Look.
11:28Look at the way she's talking.
11:29They've got photographic memory.
11:31Simmel.
11:32Simmel.
11:32Calvin Beeth.
11:33Yes, Basil.
11:34Could I just bother you, dear?
11:35What is it?
11:35Just a little problem.
11:37Nothing personal.
11:37Nothing of a private nature.
11:38Just a little...
11:39Excuse me, would you?
11:44What is it, Basil?
11:45Just take it easy, okay?
11:46What?
11:47Well, just keep your distance.
11:48I mean, remember who you are.
11:49All right?
11:49Remember what?
11:50Well, just don't tell him
11:51too much about yourself.
11:52All right?
11:52Basil, I'm perfect.
11:53All right.
11:53All right.
11:54What have you told him?
11:55Nothing.
11:55We were talking about Scotland.
11:57Scotland?
11:58What's he want to know about Scotland?
11:59Oh, Basil.
12:00Don't be...
12:00Why are you so nervous?
12:01I'm not nervous.
12:02I'm just saying take it easy, all right?
12:03All of us.
12:04Just take it easy, right?
12:05It's got into you.
12:05Nothing's got into you.
12:06I'm just saying take it...
12:07I mean, can't I say take it easy
12:08without starting a panic?
12:09I mean, what is going on?
12:11Mr. Falky, take it easy.
12:13Now, look.
12:14Well, get one thing clear.
12:15All right?
12:16You don't tell me to take it easy.
12:17All right?
12:17I don't pay you to tell me to take it easy.
12:19I pay you to take it...
12:20No, I pay you to tell you
12:21to take it easy.
12:22So take it easy, all right?
12:23Listen.
12:24Why are you getting so upset?
12:26I'm not.
12:27You liked him when he arrived
12:28and then just because you find out
12:30he's a psychiatrist...
12:31I'm not bothered by that.
12:32I'm not bothered by that.
12:34If he wants to be a psychiatrist,
12:35that's his own funeral.
12:35They're all the maddest bloody marches.
12:37But that's not the point.
12:38Look, how does he earn his money?
12:39He gets paid for sticking his nose...
12:42Oh, Basil.
12:42No, I'm going to have my say
12:43into people's private details.
12:46Well, just speaking of myself,
12:46I don't want some total stranger
12:48nosing around in my private parts.
12:50Detail.
12:50That's all I'm saying.
12:51They're here on holiday.
12:53They're just here to enjoy themselves.
12:55He can't.
12:55Can't what?
12:56He can't tell me anything about myself
12:57that I don't know already.
12:58All this psychiatrist's a load of tommy rock.
13:01Yeah.
13:02You know what they're all obsessed with,
13:03don't you?
13:03What?
13:04You know what they say it's all about,
13:05don't you?
13:06Hmm?
13:07Sex.
13:08Everything's connected with sex.
13:09Oh, what a load of cobblers.
13:13Yes, but you see,
13:14if they wanted to do that,
13:15well, they'd have to close the hotel,
13:17wouldn't they?
13:17Yes, if you would just sign that.
13:19Thank you so much.
13:20Yes, we were just speculating
13:22how people in your profession
13:23arrange their holidays.
13:25How often you can get away.
13:28How often do you manage it?
13:32How often can you and your wife manage it?
13:41You don't mind my asking?
13:42Not at all, not at all.
13:43About average, since you asked?
13:48Average?
13:49Mm-hmm.
13:49What would be average?
13:52Well, you tell me.
13:55Well, a couple of times a year.
13:59What?
14:00Once a year?
14:02Well, we knew it must be difficult.
14:05My wife didn't see how you could manage it at all.
14:07Well, as you've asked,
14:12two or three times a week, actually.
14:15A week?
14:16Yes, pretty normal, isn't it?
14:17We're quite normal down here in talking, you know.
14:19And he says, pretentious, moi.
14:27Oh, I always like a man who can make me laugh.
14:31Are you all right, Mr Forty?
14:33Yes, yes, yes, yes.
14:34Fine, just...
14:34What's the matter, Basil?
14:35Nothing, dear.
14:36Just talking to old Dr Abbott.
14:37Oh, now, if I had the money to go to a psychiatrist, he'd just the sort I'd choose.
14:41I can't leave anything nicer than having a good old heart-to-heart.
14:45I'm sure they understand women.
14:47Temple.
14:48Why, darling?
14:49Do you know...
14:49Do you know what he asked me just now?
14:52What?
14:53He asked me...
14:55Oh, don't be ridiculous, Basil.
14:58I'm telling you the truth, honestly.
14:59God's witness.
15:00What's got into you today?
15:02He turned around and asked me, just like that.
15:03What did he say?
15:04He said...
15:06Maggie.
15:08His wife said...
15:09They're talking about holidays, Basil.
15:11I was just saying to them about how difficult it is to get any.
15:14Twice a year?
15:16Oh, my God, what did I say?
15:18Oh, he doesn't.
15:19I was, I don't know.
15:24Hello?
15:25You know, we were at Cross Purposes just now.
15:27They were talking about sex.
15:28I thought you were talking about walks.
15:30No sex, holidays.
15:32Holidays.
15:32Ah, sex.
15:34No, my wife and I have one about twice a year.
15:36I mean, a holiday.
15:37A holiday.
15:38Whereas, as far as a good walk goes, well, we have a jolly good walk about two or three times a week, average.
15:43Well, we're just taking hours now.
15:46Well, enjoy it.
15:47Ah, the walk.
15:48Walk.
15:49I'm so sorry.
15:50My name is Raylene Miles.
15:52I have a reservation.
15:54Ah, yes, that's right.
15:55Would you be so kind as to fill this in?
15:57Mm-hmm.
15:57Very nice.
16:09Oh, uh, thank you.
16:11Your thing.
16:12I mean, your charms.
16:13Your charms.
16:13In the middle.
16:14Yes, I know.
16:15Yes, I know.
16:17May I ask what it is?
16:18It's a St. Christopher's medal.
16:20Saint?
16:21St. Christopher.
16:23Patron saint of travellers.
16:25Hello, dear.
16:26St. Christopher's medal.
16:27He takes travellers.
16:28Very pretty.
16:30Yes, isn't she?
16:30Where did you put the order forms, Bertha?
16:32Down there, dear.
16:33Where?
16:34Down here, dear.
16:35Um.
16:36Oh, I see.
16:36Yes, here you are.
16:40I think you'll find them there.
16:42Ah, hello.
16:44Can I keep number six, please?
16:45You're back early this evening, Mr. Johnson.
16:47Yes, well, got to be up early for Mother.
16:50Can I put you in number seven?
16:52Mm-hmm.
16:52Manuel!
16:53It's all right, dear.
16:54I'll take them up.
16:55We have a Spanish porter we're training at the moment.
16:57Be quicker to train an ape!
17:02Never mind, Manuel.
17:04Oh.
17:06Yes, I was just wondering, um,
17:17are you, in fact, Australian at all, by any chance, by the way?
17:20Oh, dear.
17:21Is my accent that strong?
17:22Oh, no, no, no.
17:23It's just that you're quite tall, so I thought perhaps you'll...
17:25There we are.
17:26This is your room.
17:27I hope it's to your liking.
17:28A view of the English Riviera down there behind the trees.
17:32This is your bathroom.
17:33There we are.
17:35Oh, it's not working.
17:36I'll just fix it.
17:37Have you, uh...
17:38Have you had a tiring journey?
17:40Oh, seven hours in the coach.
17:42Is, uh...
17:43Is the dining room still open?
17:45Well, the chef leaves at nine, I'm afraid,
17:46but you can always do you sandwiches.
17:47Oh, I'd like a hot meal, really.
17:49Is there a restaurant near here?
17:52Uh, well, there's an awfully good little Welsh place,
17:54Leek House, about five minutes' walk.
17:55You'd have to go straight away.
17:57Oh, that'll do fine.
17:58Just turn left out of the gate and straight on,
18:00and it's on your right.
18:01You left this downstairs.
18:13Sir, I was trying the switch.
18:15I'm sorry.
18:15Sybil, Sybil, Sybil, Sybil, I'm sorry.
18:17I didn't know she was there.
18:17I was trying the switch.
18:18It's pathetic, Basil.
18:19No, no, look, Sybil,
18:20I was reaching round for the switch.
18:21Don't bother.
18:22Look, look, the lights weren't working in the bathroom,
18:24right?
18:24OK?
18:25So I went in, checked the fitting,
18:26which was loose.
18:26I've read about it, Basil.
18:28The male menopause, it's called.
18:30Oh, and one word of advice.
18:32If you're going to grope a girl,
18:34have the gallantry to stay in the room with her
18:36while you're doing it.
18:43I'm sorry.
18:44I do apologise for just our sort of feeling for the switch.
18:46Oh, I realise that's perfectly all right.
18:48I hope your wife didn't...
18:50Oh, no, no, my wife.
18:51She's been on about that.
18:53Where was that restaurant again?
18:55Out of the gate.
18:56Turn left.
18:57Five minutes on your right.
18:58Leak house.
18:59Not at all.
19:04Pretentious!
19:05Moi!
19:18Yes?
19:18Can I help you?
19:20Um,
19:21I was just wondering if I could get, um,
19:23a drink now.
19:25A drink.
19:26Well,
19:27a bottle of champagne.
19:28Champagne.
19:29Yes.
19:30I see.
19:30You are aware of our rule about visitors, are you?
19:33Hmm?
19:34No visitors in guests' rooms after 10 o'clock.
19:37Oh.
19:37Of the opposite, um,
19:38of the opposite sex.
19:40No, I wasn't.
19:41Ah.
19:42But I am now.
19:43So you'll send up the champagne, will you?
19:45What?
19:46The champagne.
19:48You're drinking it on your own, eh?
19:49I guess I'll have to.
19:51Howdy well.
19:52One bottle of champagne for one.
19:55And one glass.
19:57That's all I'll need.
19:57Unless you care to join me.
19:58No, thank you.
19:59Not when I'm on the job.
20:00That's when I enjoy it the most.
20:07Manuel, Manuel, Manuel.
20:09Bottle of champagne.
20:10One glass.
20:10Quick.
20:10Mr. Fawlty.
20:19Hmm?
20:20Did you know there's a cartridge stain?
20:22Yes.
20:23Yes, I did.
20:23Has he come for the major?
20:25What?
20:26Has he come for the major?
20:27No.
20:28Oh, good.
20:29We were rather worried.
20:30I'm sure they have them in Birmingham, too.
20:34Good night, ladies.
20:36It's just coming.
20:39Won't be a moment.
20:40This wall.
21:05We had some complaints from downstairs, so I'm just giving it a check.
21:08You okay?
21:09Yes?
21:09That's fine.
21:10No, we're all right.
21:14Fine, well, sorry to disturb you.
21:16Good night.
21:17Good night.
21:17Good night.
21:17Good night.
21:18Good night.
21:18Can I help?
21:28The bath.
21:29Yes, second on the note.
21:31Yes?
21:32It's just coming.
21:33Good night.
21:55Stupidissimo!
21:59You continental credit!
22:01I'm sorry, I'll get you another one.
22:03Conto, conto, conto!
22:05Yes, find Dago and take that Spanish ape.
22:07Sorry, person.
22:09And bungle it again.
22:11Dago, bird brain, God knows how they've got an armada together.
22:14Still, I'll clear all this up.
22:16Right.
22:17But if you'd like to go back to rooms.
22:20Sure.
22:25Forte!
22:26Yes.
22:27Here, here.
22:28What?
22:29I thought you ought to know.
22:30What?
22:31There's a psychiatrist in the hotel.
22:34Yes, I know.
22:35Oh, you know?
22:36Yes.
22:37Oh.
22:38Well, apparently he's dressed up as a guest.
22:40Well, he is a guest, Major.
22:42Oh.
22:43Well, your guest is as good as mine.
22:48Perhaps he has come to get you.
22:55Come.
23:00Come.
23:06All right, thank you.
23:07On the table, please.
23:17Up.
23:18Go!
23:25Yes.
23:26Oh.
23:27Yes.
23:28Oh.
23:41Filthy habit.
23:42The bathroom.
23:43Ah, second on the left.
23:44Ah!
23:45Who is it?
23:46It's all right.
23:47It's all right.
23:48What are you doing?
23:49What are you doing?
23:50What are you doing?
23:51What are you doing?
23:52What are you doing?
23:53What is going on?
23:54Nothing.
23:55Nothing.
23:56I didn't know she was in here.
23:57I just came in to check the walls.
23:58Do you mind?
23:59Sorry.
24:00I thought you'd go down to the restaurant.
24:01Oh, she's so tired.
24:02No, that's fine.
24:03Well, sorry to disturb you.
24:04Oh, bloody walls.
24:05You all right now?
24:06What was that?
24:07Hm?
24:08What?
24:09Nothing, dear.
24:10Why was she screaming?
24:11What were you doing?
24:12What's going on?
24:13Nothing.
24:15She thought there was someone in her room.
24:16Someone in her room?
24:17Yes, someone in her room.
24:18They're going to charge her a double rent.
24:22What were you doing in there?
24:25Oh, is she all right?
24:27She's all right.
24:28What were you doing in there?
24:31Oh, I'm sorry Mr. Foley.
24:33I'm sorry, Mr. Foley. I didn't realise it was you.
24:35That's all right. That's all right. I'll tell you in a moment.
24:37Oh, silly of me. I didn't know it was him.
24:39He came in to check the walls.
24:42To check the walls?
24:44Amber, Amber, quick, come on.
24:47Quick.
25:33Oh, help.
25:34Oh, help.
25:39Oh, help.
25:41Oh, help.
25:43Oh, help.
25:45Help, help.
25:46Socorro, socorro, help.
25:48Help, help.
25:49Socorro.
25:50Oh, socorro.
25:51Basil?
25:52Basil?
25:53Mrs. Foley, Mrs. Foley.
25:56Oh, Mrs. Foley, Mrs. Foley, Mr. Foley.
25:59What?
26:00She called, she called off a ladder.
26:01Of a ladder?
26:02Come, come, come.
26:03What was he doing off a ladder?
26:05He tried to see girl.
26:06What?
26:07He tried to see in Rome to see girl.
26:08She make him crazy.
26:09Come, come, come.
26:10I see.
26:11I tell him, careful what he got to see girl.
26:14Right?
26:22Hello, dear.
26:23I'm just going to...
26:24I'm just going to, er...
26:31What the fuck?
26:33Oh.
26:34What in God's day do you think you're doing?
26:49What are you looking at me for?
26:50How dare you?
26:51How dare you?
26:53How dare you?
26:54Have you gone mad?
26:55What's gone into you?
26:56You really don't know?
26:57No.
26:58No, I don't.
26:59What were you doing up that ladder?
27:00Come on.
27:01I was trying to see the girl.
27:02Is that so strange?
27:03Stop hitting me.
27:04Get away from this door and don't you dare try and come in here tonight.
27:08No.
27:11No.
27:14She gone completely mad.
27:16Crazy.
27:17She got crazy.
27:18I mean what?
27:19Crazy.
27:20I said to her, you try to see in a girl's room.
27:23She got crazy.
27:28I tell her, you got to see girl in room.
27:30You crazy about this girl.
27:32Okay?
27:33Okay, so, you go up to try to look at her,
27:35Mrs. Fawlty?
27:36She go crazy.
27:37Now that's how an Englishman would do it you see now a German a German would go
27:53that's enough tonight all right we're going with your training in the morning
27:57huh just the training in the art of hotel manager it's rather interesting actually
28:02he's from Barcelona sorry I missed the door everything normal yes fine well I'll leave
28:13you to it then I mean to go to bed to sleep sleep that is a chance to dream have a good
28:19night good night sleep sleep well good night and you thank you yes I will
28:32I'll get you you pelt-down ponce
28:39are you all right hmm are you all right yes right right
28:49go on go on
28:56Sybil dear what do you want got your tea for you dear just leave it outside the room
29:04yes all right yes um Sybil I'm not speaking to you
29:10no could I just have my electric razor here just for the guests thank you dear no no
29:16please please let me explain something get your foot out of the door let me explain when
29:19I said I wanted to look at that girl last night I wasn't talking about that that ray something
29:23the Australian girl I was talking about the girl in the room next to her in Johnson's room
29:27Johnson smuggled a girl into his room last night that was the one I was trying to get a look at
29:31not that Australian hayseed
29:33Basil you've had eight heirs to think of something is that really the best you can come up with
29:38you don't believe me
29:39oh go away
29:40right I'll get it I'm gonna get it and show it to you
29:42yes you do that
29:43right I will
29:44right
29:45all right
29:46come
29:52Mr. Johnson do you want your guide back
29:56oh thank you yes
29:58I'll see you later then thank you
30:08okay darling
30:10right the game's up
30:13up there
30:16but a game pie got stuck up there
30:19right well everything back to normal
30:21enjoy a walk
30:23there's enough material there for an entire conference
30:36okay okay
30:37okay
30:50okay
30:51oh
30:53oh
30:54oh
30:55oh
30:56oh
30:57oh
30:58oh
30:59oh
31:00what are you doing
31:01jeez what's going on
31:02I'm sorry I thought you were somebody else
31:04you scared the hell out of me
31:05yes I'm awfully sorry
31:06you see there's a girl in there
31:07and the bloke's
31:08just explain to this Miles about our little problem
31:12I'm with the extra guest
31:14Mr. Johnson's friend in six last night
31:16what's that on your hand Basil
31:19what
31:20oh that's some stuff in the cupboard dear
31:22something I knocked over
31:23what
31:24sorry I got confused
31:26what
31:27sorry I got confused
31:29what
31:30sorry I got confused
31:31sir
31:32sir
31:33sir
31:34sir
31:35sir
31:36sir
31:37look I'll tell her to go
31:38Torrance
31:39I'm going to get the other girl just to prove it to you
31:40but I'll tell Miss Miles to leave
31:41out
31:42out
31:43right
31:44out
31:45out
31:46excuse me
31:47I do apologise but I'm afraid I shall have to ask you to
31:51come in
32:00sorry to bother you I thought I'd better apologise for my husband's behaviour
32:05no please really Mrs. Forty
32:07he's going through rather a disturbed time at the moment
32:10no please look I don't quite understand he does seem a bit worked up about something
32:14but I'm sure there's some quite innocent explanation
32:17slightly
32:19but I don't mean
32:32Basil
32:33hi dear
32:34just checking the doors
32:35hello
32:36alright what's going on
32:37All right, what's going on?
32:40I was in the bathroom.
32:42Yes, she was, dear.
32:43So I just popped in and have a look at these hinges, you know, the ones we've been...
32:46Do you really imagine, even in your wildest dreams,
32:50that a girl like this could possibly be interested in an ageing, brilliant teen stick insect like you?
32:58A girl like who, dear?
33:00This one, Basil, the one you've been chasing ever since she arrived.
33:03My dear woman, have you got out of your mind?
33:05What are you doing in there?
33:05Look, you know the trouble we've been having with these hinges?
33:08All right, if you really want to know, I came to apologise for the incident just now
33:11when I thought she was the girl in Johnson's book.
33:12You remember when I put my hand on the...
33:14Sybil! Sybil! Sybil!
33:18Do you think I've got time to listen to any more of your hopeless lily-liver jellyfish lies?
33:24They are not lies. I am trying to...
33:26Why can't you be a man?
33:27If you want to grope the guests, why can't you at least be honest about it
33:30without making up some pathetic song and dance...
33:33Shut up!
33:34Oh, you've done it now.
33:35No, I haven't. I'm just going to.
33:37I'm fed up with you, you rancorous, quaffered old sow.
33:41Why don't you swing the doughnuts out of your ear
33:43and get some sense into the dormant organ you keep hidden in that rat's maze of yours?
33:48Look, there is a woman in that room that Johnson smuggled in last night.
33:51Right? That's the woman I've been trying to get called of.
33:54Right, right, stand there. Stand and watch.
33:57Champagne?
34:04What?
34:04Another bottle of champagne, perhaps.
34:06I thought you said you rather enjoyed it when you were on the job.
34:09Have you got a screw loose?
34:11A screw?
34:12No, no, it's just that I thought that I'd rather form the impression
34:14that there was someone in the room there with you.
34:16A female person?
34:17Perhaps a lady, you know, an opposite person of the contradictory gender?
34:21That sort of thing?
34:22Mrs. Johnson is in here, yes.
34:25Oh, of course.
34:27I should have guessed.
34:29Oh, yes, of course.
34:30The little woman, eh?
34:31The only thing is, I thought you told my wife that you were single.
34:34I am.
34:36I see.
34:36So who's this Mrs. Johnson, then?
34:38The late president's wife, or...?
34:40She's my mother.
34:43Your mother?
34:45Oh, I see.
34:46This, uh, bit of crumpets your old mummy, is she?
34:50Oh, this is rich.
34:52Oh, oh, Mother Johnson popped up for a quickie, did she?
34:55May I meet her?
34:56Certainly.
34:57Mother Johnson, Mother Johnson, come out, come out, wherever you are.
35:00How do you do?
35:01Are you enjoying your sleep?
35:04Yes, thank you.
35:05Well, I'll get the champagne.
35:06This calls for a celebration.
35:07Oh, yes.
35:11Hmm?
35:12Hmm?
35:15Hmm?
35:18Hmm?
35:18Hmm?
35:18Hmm?
35:19Hmm?
35:19Hmm?
35:19Hmm?
35:19Hmm?
35:19Hmm?
35:19Hmm?
35:20Hmm?
35:20Hmm?
35:20Hmm?
35:21Hmm?
35:21Hmm?
35:21Hmm?
35:27Hmm?
35:51Hmm?
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