- 2 months ago
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00:00Number 17, please. That'll be fine. Thank you.
00:04Goodbye. Thank you so much.
00:06Hello, faulty tears.
00:08Oh, hello, Mr. Hawkins.
00:10I've arranged your card for two this afternoon, then.
00:13Well, you did say today, Mr. Hawkins.
00:15You do accept cheques.
00:16With a banker's card, yes.
00:17Well, we'll have to cancel the order, then.
00:19Yes.
00:20No, no. Five o'clock will be fine.
00:23Goodbye.
00:24Oh, Polly, Brenda can't start till Monday,
00:26so would you mind doing the rooms until then?
00:28Oh, no. I can do with the money.
00:29Oh, good.
00:30There you are.
00:32Thank you, Mr. Dardley.
00:34Oh, hello.
00:35Can I help you?
00:36Yes.
00:37Would you give me change for this, please?
00:38In one moment. I'm just dealing with this gentleman.
00:40Yes, Mr. Thurston.
00:41What?
00:42Thank you. I was wondering if you could...
00:43I need change for this.
00:44In a moment, I'm dealing with this gentleman.
00:46But I have a taxi driver waiting.
00:48Surely this gentleman wouldn't mind if you just gave me change.
00:51Do you?
00:52No, no. Go ahead.
00:55There you are.
00:56Can you tell me how to get to...
00:58Now, I've booked a room and bath with a sea view for three nights.
01:02Glendower Street?
01:03Yes.
01:04You haven't finished with me.
01:06Mrs?
01:07Mrs. Richards.
01:08Mrs. Alice Richards.
01:09Mrs. Richards, Mr. Thurston.
01:10Mr. Thurston, Mrs. Richards.
01:12Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending to at the moment.
01:15What?
01:16Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending to.
01:18Don't shout. I'm not deaf.
01:20Mr. Thurston was here before you, Mrs. Richards.
01:23But you were serving me.
01:24I gave you change, but I hadn't finished dealing with him.
01:27Now, Glendower Street is just not interested.
01:28Isn't there anyone else in attendance here?
01:30Really? This is the most appalling service I've ever...
01:32What a good idea.
01:33Manuel, could you lend Mrs. Richards your assistance in connection with her reservation?
01:38Now, I've reserved a very quiet room with a bath and a sea view.
01:46I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation.
01:49So please make sure I have it.
01:52K?
01:55What?
01:56K?
01:57K?
01:58Si.
01:59Si?
02:00Casey?
02:01Casey, what are you trying to say?
02:03No, no, no, no.
02:04K what?
02:05K what?
02:06Si.
02:07K what?
02:08Si.
02:09K what?
02:10Yes.
02:11Who is Si.
02:12K what?
02:13K?
02:14Is he the manager of Mr. Watt?
02:15Oh, Managhan.
02:16He is.
02:17Ah, Mr. Fawlty.
02:18What?
02:19Fawlty.
02:20What are you talking about, you silly little man?
02:22What is going on here?
02:23I ask him for my room, and he tells me the managers of Mr. Watt aged 40.
02:27No, no, no.
02:28Fawlty.
02:29Fawlty?
02:30What's wrong with him?
02:32It's all right, Mrs. Richards.
02:34He's from Barcelona.
02:35The manager's from Barcelona.
02:36The manager's from Barcelona?
02:37No, no, no.
02:38He's from Swanitz.
02:39And you're in 22.
02:40What?
02:41You're in room 22.
02:42Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you?
02:46Yes.
02:47Very nice stay, Mr. Fawlty.
02:50Oh, glad you enjoyed it.
02:51Polly, would you get Mr. Firkin's bill, please?
02:54Well, when will we be seeing you again?
02:55Oh, not for a few weeks.
02:56Oh.
02:57You're not by any chance a betting man, Mr. Fawlty.
03:00Um, well, I used to be.
03:02Only there's a very nice little filly running at Exeter this afternoon.
03:05Really?
03:06Dragonfly.
03:07Ah.
03:08Dragonfly?
03:09Yeah.
03:10It's well worth a flatter.
03:11But paid a tax on it before.
03:12Well, delighted you enjoyed your stay.
03:14Very nice.
03:15I hope to see you again before long.
03:17Oh, here you are.
03:19Bye, Mrs. Fawlty.
03:20Goodbye, Mr. Firkin.
03:22Satisfied customer.
03:23We should have him stuffed.
03:26Oh, Mr. Fawlty.
03:28Three o'clock Exeter.
03:29Dragonfly.
03:30What?
03:31Yes, good luck.
03:32Jolly, jolly good luck with it.
03:37Morning, Major.
03:38Good morning, Fawlty.
03:42Mr.
03:43What was that about the three o'clock Exeter, Basil?
03:46Oh, some horse he's going to bet on, I expect her.
03:48You're looking very spruce this morning, Major.
03:50St. George's Day, old boy.
03:52Really?
03:53You have a horse, have you?
03:54What's his name?
03:55Um, did you catch it, no?
03:57The...
03:58Dragonfly, Major.
03:59Going to have a flutter, Fawlty?
04:01No, no, no, no, no, look.
04:02No, Basil doesn't bet any more, Major, do you, dear?
04:05No, I don't, dear, no.
04:06No, that particular avenue of pleasure has been closed off.
04:13And we don't want it opened up again, do we, Basil?
04:16No, you don't, dear.
04:19The great warding off of May the 8th.
04:21Yes.
04:22Good old St. George, eh, Major?
04:24Well, he killed a hideous, fire-breathing old dragon, didn't he?
04:27What?
04:28They're not through with the lance, I believe.
04:30Mr. Fawlty, Mr. Fawlty.
04:31Yes?
04:32Is Mrs. Romnall like she won't speak to you his problem?
04:35Ah.
04:36Ever see my wife making toast, Polly?
04:38Why did you kill it, anyway, Fawlty?
04:41I don't know, Major.
04:42Better than marrying it.
04:43Marrying it?
04:44But he didn't have to kill it, though, did he?
04:46I mean, he could have, er, just not turned up at the church.
04:57Good morning, madam. Can I help you?
04:59Are you the manager?
05:00I am the owner, madam.
05:01What?
05:02I am the owner.
05:03I want to speak to the manager.
05:05I am the manager, too.
05:06What?
05:07I am the manager, as well.
05:09Manager, he, manager.
05:12Oh!
05:13You're what?
05:15I'm the manager.
05:16What?
05:17I'm the manager.
05:18Yes, I know.
05:19You've just told me.
05:20What's the matter with you?
05:21Now listen to me.
05:22I booked a room with a bath.
05:24When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath.
05:27You've got a bath.
05:28I'm not paying £7.20 per night plus VAT for a room without a bath.
05:33There is your bath.
05:36You call that a bath?
05:37It's not big enough to drown a mouse.
05:39It's disgraceful.
05:41I wish you were a mouse, aren't you?
05:44And another thing.
05:45I asked for a room with a view.
05:47Deaf, mad and blind.
05:49Er, this is the view as far as I can remember, madam.
05:53Yes, yes, this is it.
05:55When I pay for a view, I expect something more interesting than that.
05:59But that is Torquay, madam.
06:01Well, it's not good enough.
06:03Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window?
06:08Sydney Opera House, perhaps?
06:10The hanging gardens of Babylon?
06:12Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically.
06:16I expect to be able to see the sea.
06:18You can see the sea.
06:19It's over there between the land and the sky.
06:22I need a telescope to see that.
06:24Well, may I suggest that you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea?
06:28Or preferably in it.
06:30Right.
06:31Now, listen to me.
06:33I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here.
06:35However, I shall expect a reduction.
06:38Why? Because cracker tour is not erupting at the moment, or...?
06:41Because the room is cold.
06:42The bath is too small.
06:43The view is invisible.
06:45And the radio doesn't work.
06:46No, the radio works.
06:48You don't.
06:49What?
06:50See if I can fix it, you scabby old bastard!
06:52I think we got something then.
06:55What?
06:56I think we got something then.
06:57What?
06:58I think we got something then.
06:59What are you doing?
07:00Eh?
07:01Don't think me rude, but may I ask, do you by any chance have a hearing aid?
07:05A what?
07:06A hearing aid!
07:07Yes, I do have a hearing aid.
07:08Would you like me to get it mended?
07:09Mended?
07:10It's working perfectly all right.
07:11No, it isn't.
07:12I haven't got it turned on at the moment.
07:13Why not?
07:14The battery runs down.
07:15Now, what sort of a reduction you're going to give me on this room?
07:1760% if you turn it on.
07:18What?
07:19My wife handles all such matters.
07:20I'm sure she will be delighted to discuss it with you.
07:22I shall speak to her after lunch.
07:23You heard that all right, didn't you?
07:24What?
07:25Thank you so much.
07:26A lunch will be served at half past 12.
07:27Manuel, Manuel.
07:28See, I'm going to the betting shop today.
07:29What?
07:30Oh, don't you start.
07:31You go betting shop today.
07:32Oh, see, betting shop.
07:33See, I want you to put this on this little horse.
07:35Dragonfly.
07:36But big secret.
07:37Sybil, no, no.
07:38No, no.
07:39It's lovely.
07:40It's just a bit buttery with my skin.
07:42I think I need something more and more.
07:44Topey.
07:45I need something more.
07:46Topey.
07:47I need something more and more.
07:48Topey.
07:49Topey.
07:50Topey.
07:51Topey.
07:52Topey.
07:53Topey.
07:54Topey.
07:55Topey.
07:56Topey.
07:57Topey.
07:58Topey.
07:59Topey.
08:00Topey.
08:01Topey.
08:02Topey.
08:03Topey.
08:04Topey.
08:05Topey.
08:06I think I need something more.
08:07Topey.
08:08Toe-passy for my colouring, you know.
08:09More tonal.
08:10Have you got, have you got with Cosmopolitan there?
08:13On page 42, you see Bert Reynolds.
08:16Well there's a girl standing behind him looking at James Kahn.
08:20That sort of colour.
08:22Mmm.
08:23Lovely.
08:24Alright, I'll be in at 11, Polly.
08:28Mm.
08:29I've got to check the laundry.
08:31Could you keep an eye on reception for me?
08:33Sure.
08:44Polly, Polly! Where Mr Fawlty?
08:46I don't know. What's the matter?
08:48I have money for him. He went on horse, but big secret.
08:51Shh! Mrs Fawlty, shh!
08:52Well, give it to me. I'll give it to you.
09:01Good afternoon, Miss Gatsby. Good afternoon, Miss Tibbs.
09:06Good afternoon.
09:07Good afternoon.
09:09Good afternoon.
09:11First they give me a room without a bath, then there's no laboratory paper.
09:16Would you like some of ours?
09:18We need an extra supply.
09:20Would you like some of ours?
09:23Hello!
09:24There's no paper in my room. Why don't you check these things?
09:27That's what you're being paid for, isn't it?
09:29We don't put it in the rooms.
09:30What?
09:31We'll keep it in the lounge.
09:32Get that lounge!
09:33I'll get you some.
09:36Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it?
09:39Address on it?
09:40How many sheets?
09:44Well, how many are you going to use?
09:46Manager!
09:47Well, just enough for one?
09:48Tell me!
09:49Manager! Manager!
09:51Yes, testing, testing.
09:55I've never met such insolence in my life.
09:58I come down here to get some laboratory paper.
10:00And she starts asking me the most insulting, personal things I've ever heard in my life.
10:04I thought she wanted writing paper.
10:06I'm talking to you what?
10:07What?
10:09Are you deaf?
10:10I said I'm talking to you.
10:12I've never met such insolence in my life.
10:14She said people use it in the lounge.
10:16Yes, yes, she thought...
10:17Then she starts asking me...
10:18No, no, no, no.
10:19Please, listen.
10:20No, no, please.
10:21I can explain.
10:22No, no.
10:23You see, she thought you wanted to write.
10:24Wanted a fight?
10:25No, no, no, no.
10:26Wanted to write.
10:27What?
10:28Wanted to write.
10:29On the paper.
10:30Why should I want to write on it?
10:32I'll have some sent up to your room immediately.
10:35Manuel?
10:36That doesn't work either.
10:38What are you saying?
10:40Turn it on.
10:41What?
10:42Turn.
10:43It.
10:44Turn.
10:46It.
10:47On.
10:49I can't read that.
10:50I need my glasses.
10:54Where are they?
10:55They're on your head, Mrs. Richards.
10:57I've lost them.
10:58They're the only pair I've got.
11:00I can't read a thing without them.
11:01Excuse me.
11:02Now, I had them this morning...
11:03Mrs. Richards.
11:04Mrs. Richards.
11:05Mrs. Richards.
11:06Mrs. Richards.
11:07Mrs. Richards.
11:08Mrs. Richards.
11:09Mrs. Richards.
11:10Your glasses are there.
11:12There?
11:13Well, don't put them in there.
11:15No, no, no.
11:16On your head.
11:17What?
11:18On your head.
11:19Oh, no!
11:24I'm sorry about that, Mr. Richards.
11:27Manuel asked me to give this to you.
11:29What?
11:30Oh!
11:31Oh!
11:32Thank you for it.
11:33Not a word to the dragon, eh?
11:34Oh, Manuel.
11:35Yes.
11:36You have some blue paper.
11:37Muchos.
11:38For 22.
11:39I'll try to see.
11:40Are you blind?
11:41They were on my head all the time.
11:43Didn't you see?
11:44Yes.
11:45Didn't God give you eyes?
11:46Yes.
11:47Because where's the batteries are?
11:48Set my paper up immediately.
11:50Oh!
11:5522!
11:56Good evening, Terry.
11:57Do you like Cavaliero Rusticana, Terry?
12:08Oh, never had it, Mr. Foley.
12:10Oh, in a good mood, Mr. Foley.
12:11Had a little bit of luck on the Gee-Gees, Terry.
12:12Not a word of the troubling strife.
12:13Oh!
12:14Oh!
12:15Go do!
12:16Do you come on lady sing this song?
12:17Do do do do do do do.
12:18Come done, they struck five miles long.
12:19Do do do do do do.
12:21Go in run run my day.
12:22Go in run my day.
12:23Go in and make me money on the bobtail nag.
12:24I did it my way.
12:25Stand Frank Sinatra.
12:27You made me feel so young.
12:28Rubbish!
12:29I'm going to run my day. I'm going to run my day. I'm going to make me money on the bobtail nag. I did it my way.
12:38Stan, Frank Sinatra, you make me feel so young. Rubbish.
12:42You seem very jolly, Basil. Hmm? You seem very jolly.
12:46Jolly? Yes, jolly. Sort of happy.
12:50Oh, happy. Yes, I remember that. No, not that I do, Mr. No. I'll report it if it happens, though.
12:56Well, you look happy to me, Basil.
12:57No, I'm not, dear. All that dancing about, singing and rubbing your hands.
13:02No, just my way of getting through the day, dear. The Samaritans were engaged.
13:13I thought maybe you were in love.
13:16Only with the old light of my life.
13:19Or had a bit of luck or something.
13:22Did Mr. Hawkins still have a tonic, Terry?
13:25Yes, he did, Mrs. Forney.
13:27Manuel, Manuel.
13:29Oh, your horse, it wins, it wins.
13:31Shh, Manuel.
13:32You know nothing.
13:35You always say, Mr. Fawlty, but I learn.
13:38What?
13:39I learn, I learn.
13:40No, no, no, no.
13:41I get better.
13:41No, no, no, no, you don't understand.
13:43I do.
13:43No, you don't.
13:44I do understand that.
13:45Shh, shh.
13:47You know nothing about the horse.
13:50I know nothing about the horse.
13:52Yes.
13:52Which horse?
13:57Which horse I know nothing?
13:59My horse, nitwit.
14:01Your horse, nitwit.
14:02No, no, no, it's a dragonfly.
14:04It won.
14:05Yes, I know.
14:05I know it won, too.
14:07What?
14:07I put money on for you.
14:08You give me money, I go to bed and show me.
14:10No, I know, I know.
14:11Why you say I know nothing?
14:14Look, look, look.
14:16You know the horse?
14:18Nitwit or dragonfly?
14:19Dragonfly, there isn't a horse called nitwit.
14:21You're the nitwit.
14:24What is wit, nitwit?
14:25It doesn't matter.
14:26It doesn't matter.
14:26Oh, I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation.
14:29Please, please try to understand before one of us dies.
14:33I try.
14:34You're going to forget everything you know about nitwit.
14:39No, no.
14:39Dragonfly.
14:40Dragonfly, yes.
14:41Si, si, si.
14:45Eventually.
14:49What?
14:50Eventually.
14:52At the end.
14:54No, no, no, no.
14:55Forget it now.
14:56Now?
14:57Well, pretend you forget.
14:59Pretend?
14:59Well, don't say anything to anyone about the horse.
15:03I know that.
15:05You tell me that this morning.
15:07So don't do it again.
15:10Yes, ma'am?
15:10It's Mrs Richards.
15:12The fatal accident?
15:14She's had some money stolen.
15:17Oh, Mr Fawlty.
15:18I tell Polly.
15:19What?
15:19Oh, that's all right.
15:20But don't tell anyone else.
15:21Not even me.
15:21You know nothing.
15:22Basil.
15:23Yes, dear?
15:24Basil, you've got to help me handle this.
15:25She's in a frightful state.
15:26I can't get a word in each way.
15:27She's had 85 pounds taken from her room.
15:29I've said we'll search everybody.
15:30But she insists that we send for the police.
15:32What do you do with someone like that?
15:33She just keeps on.
15:33Mrs Richards, how very nice to see you.
15:36Are you enjoying your stay?
15:38There's no need to shout.
15:39I have my hearing aid on.
15:41Oh.
15:41Mrs Richards, I've explained to myself.
15:43I've just been up to my room.
15:4585 pounds has been taken from my bag,
15:48which I had hidden under the mattress.
15:50Oh, yes.
15:50It's a disgrace.
15:52I haven't been here a day.
15:53What sort of staff do you employ here?
15:55Mrs Richards.
15:55If you knew anything at all about running a hotel,
15:57this sort of thing wouldn't happen.
15:58Well, what have you got to say for yourself?
16:00I haven't got it turned up enough.
16:19Basil.
16:20I said I should go.
16:23My head.
16:24My head.
16:25Has it come away?
16:26Oh.
16:28Oh, did you bang your head?
16:30Yes, yes.
16:31Oh, dear.
16:32Let me have a look.
16:33You'd better go and lie down before something else happens.
16:36Why don't you call the police?
16:38We will.
16:38The moment we've searched the room.
16:40My money's been taken.
16:41Yes, yes, I know.
16:42Try not to speak.
16:43Is this a piece of your brain?
16:4885 pounds.
16:49Take mine.
16:50I don't need your arm, can you?
16:53I can get down the stairs perfectly well.
16:55Down the stairs?
16:56Oh, well.
16:57Don't stop when you get to the basement.
16:58Keep straight on.
16:59Give my regards to the Earth's core.
17:02Are you sure you can manage?
17:04And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours and put a bat
17:07up your night dress.
17:09Oh, that was fun, wasn't it, dear?
17:11The odd moment like that.
17:12It's almost worth staying alive for, isn't it?
17:14It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it, dear?
17:16It's what marriage is all about.
17:18I know.
17:18I read it on the back of a matchbox.
17:21Basil, sometimes...
17:22Seriously, Sybil, do you remember when we were first manacled together?
17:27We used to laugh quite a lot.
17:29Yes, but not at the same time, Basil.
17:32Oh, that's true.
17:32That was a warning.
17:33I should have spotted that, shouldn't I?
17:36Zoom.
17:36What was that?
17:37That was your life, mate.
17:38Oh, that was quick.
17:39Do I get another?
17:40Sorry, mate.
17:41That's good luck.
17:41That's it.
17:42Back to the world of dreams.
17:43Yes, Deb?
17:44What are we going to do?
17:46Give it another 15 years.
17:47About the money.
17:48Do you think...
17:48Oh, she's left it in her room or dropped it or eaten it or something.
17:51We've got Manuel to go through the room.
17:53Polly can check the lounge.
17:54Wait a moment.
17:54I saw Polly with some money just now.
17:56Well, there you are.
17:57It was quite a bit, too.
17:57She was counting it in here.
18:00Well, it's probably hers.
18:02No, she's been very short lately, Basil.
18:03I'll ask her.
18:04Well, you can't.
18:04You can't just ask her like that, Sybil.
18:06Why not?
18:07Why not?
18:07Will it be terribly rude asking someone if money is theirs?
18:09I don't mean it'd be so embarrassing.
18:11Rubbish, Basil.
18:13Hello, faulty towers.
18:15Polly Sherman?
18:16Yes, certainly.
18:17I'll get her straight away.
18:17Hang on.
18:18Bye.
18:18Terry, where's Polly?
18:23I'm here.
18:24Polly, she saw you with the money.
18:26What?
18:26Sybil, she saw you counting the horse money.
18:28She's just coming to the window.
18:29Oh, hello, dear.
18:29There she is.
18:30Found her in here.
18:31As I was just saying, Polly,
18:33my wife would like to have a word with you
18:34about a slightly delicate matter.
18:35It's not delicate, Basil.
18:36Don't be silly.
18:37He thinks it's embarrassing for me to ask you
18:39about that money I saw you with earlier on
18:41in the office.
18:42I wondered if someone had handed it in.
18:44Mrs Richards has lost some.
18:46The money?
18:47In the office?
18:47You were counting it, weren't you?
18:49Did someone hand it in?
18:50Oh, no.
18:52No, it's mine.
18:53Yours?
18:54I won it.
18:56You won it?
18:58On the horse, Mr Falter got a tip on.
19:01I hope you don't mind.
19:02I...
19:02No, no, no, not at all.
19:05I didn't know you bet on the horses, Polly.
19:07Oh, I don't.
19:09Only I was in the town,
19:10and I'd passed the betting shop,
19:11and I thought, well, why not?
19:12Well, why not indeed, eh?
19:13Jolly good question, eh, dear?
19:14I'm pretty you didn't let me put something on, really.
19:16Do you realise how much we would have won?
19:1875 pounds for a five-pound steak?
19:19Still, you know best.
19:24Those were the odds, weren't they, Basil?
19:25Yes, that's right.
19:26They're 14 to 1.
19:27I listened in on the wireless
19:28just to make sure it had triumphed.
19:30Enjoy your winnings, Polly.
19:32Polly.
19:33Yes, Mrs Falter.
19:33What was the name of the horse?
19:36The name?
19:38Oh.
19:40I've gone blank.
19:44Bird brain.
19:46No, no, no, that came in third.
19:50Fish wife.
19:51What?
19:52No, no, not the...
19:54Small.
19:56Fly.
19:57Fly.
19:59Flying tart.
20:00No.
20:04No, no, it got off to a flying star.
20:06And its name...
20:08was Dragonfly.
20:17If I find out the money on that horse was yours,
20:20you know what I'll do, Basil.
20:24Gonna have to sell him back on first.
20:28Oh, he's got six and five, all right?
20:30Oh, sir, yes.
20:31Major, can I offer you, uh...
20:33Ah, very decent of you.
20:35Just a quick one.
20:36Going to, uh, memorial service.
20:39Ah.
20:40Tie's a bit bright, isn't it, Major?
20:42What?
20:42For memorial service.
20:44Oh, I didn't like the chap.
20:46None of those.
20:47Know what I mean?
20:47Ah.
20:48Cheers.
20:49Uh, Major, um,
20:50could you do me a favor?
20:52Well, I'm, uh, I'm a bit short myself, over here.
20:54No, no, no.
20:54Could you look after some money for me?
20:56I want it on that horse.
20:57I mean, uh, civil's a bit suspicious, you see.
20:59She goes through my pockets some nights.
21:01Oh, absolutely.
21:02Which horse?
21:02Uh, dragonfly.
21:03When's it running?
21:04No, no, it ran today.
21:06I won that on it.
21:06Oh, well done, old boy.
21:08No, no, no, no.
21:08Could you keep it?
21:09Oh, no, no, I couldn't do that.
21:10No, no, very decent.
21:11No, no, no.
21:11Could you keep it just tonight?
21:12It's civil, you see.
21:14Secret.
21:14Ah, present.
21:16Ah, sort of, yes.
21:17Don't mention it.
21:18Hum's the word.
21:19Ah, I'll, I get it from you in the morning and bank it.
21:22Understood, old boy.
21:24Cheers.
21:25Good morning, Mr. Fawlty.
21:36Good morning, ladies.
21:40Hello, Fawlty Towers.
21:41What?
21:43I didn't say anything.
21:45Have you called the police yet?
21:46Excuse me, I'm trying to take a telephone call.
21:48Have you called them yet?
21:50Yes, yes, we have.
21:52When are we going to be here?
21:52As soon as possible, they're very busy today.
21:54Busy?
21:55There was a lot of bloodshed at the Nell Gwynn tea rooms last night.
22:00Ah, certainly, yes.
22:01Mrs. Richards?
22:03Mrs. Richards!
22:04Sorry.
22:05Telephone for you.
22:07Here.
22:08Yes?
22:08What's this for?
22:10Telephone calls.
22:11But I haven't made any.
22:11Oh, cigarettes?
22:13I don't smoke.
22:13Hello?
22:15There's nobody there.
22:16Hello?
22:17Yes, yes, I know she is.
22:19Yes, it's your sister.
22:21Well, what is it for?
22:23Er, drinks.
22:24Drinks?
22:25Me?
22:26We've been cut off.
22:27Hello?
22:28Look, you tell me and I'll tell her.
22:30Even the phones don't work.
22:32Your sister says you've had an offer of 87,000 pounds for your house in Brighton.
22:3887?
22:39Give it to me.
22:41Don't be a fool, Stephanie.
22:4392,750, I said, and I'm not taking a penny less.
22:46You tell him that.
22:47Why don't people listen?
22:50Well?
22:51Well, let's grab that 32p then, shall we?
22:54Let's enjoy our sauce.
22:55Oh, thank you very much.
22:56Oh, Major, Major.
22:58Um, can I have it now?
23:00What or what?
23:00The money.
23:01The money I gave you last night.
23:03What is all this, Pearl?
23:04Well, you remember.
23:05I gave you some money.
23:06Um, just before you went to that remembrance service.
23:08Remembrance service?
23:09Yes.
23:09I don't remember that or what?
23:11Well, but it was for a chap you didn't like.
23:13Um, you know, he was, uh, one of those.
23:15One of those what?
23:16Well, Pansy?
23:19Yes.
23:20Which one?
23:21No, no, no, no, no, no.
23:22You were in your best suit.
23:23Was I?
23:24Oh, yes, of course.
23:25I went to the theatre, of course.
23:27No, no, yes, yes.
23:28With Winnie Atwell.
23:29Yes, see?
23:30Winnie Atwell?
23:31Well, Marjorie Atwell and Marjorie.
23:33I always call her Winnie because, well, because she looks like Winnie.
23:36She's not black.
23:38Black?
23:39Churchill wasn't black.
23:40Look, look, look, look, look.
23:42I gave you 75 pounds.
23:44You put it in there.
23:45What do you mean by telling me you called the police?
23:47Are you?
23:47You've done no such thing.
23:49Your wife's just told me you're still searching the rooms.
23:51Well, I thought she'd call them.
23:52You lying hound.
23:53Mrs. Richards.
23:54Go and call them now immediately.
23:55Yes, but look.
23:56Mrs. Richards, we will.
23:56The moment we've searched them.
23:57Right.
23:58I shall call them myself then.
23:59Well, couldn't we just wait until we ever see in such a place?
24:02All right, Mrs. Richards.
24:04Would you like to use the office phone?
24:06What?
24:06In here.
24:12Get the key and check a room.
24:14Right.
24:14Found it, Father.
24:15What?
24:16It was in my pocket.
24:17Yes, in my new suit.
24:18It's here, you see.
24:20Yes.
24:20Stop right down.
24:21Yes, can I have it?
24:22I don't know how it got there.
24:23No, no, can I?
24:23Because I make a point.
24:24Yes, I make a point of keeping my money in my hip pocket.
24:27Please, please.
24:28What a boy.
24:29Can I have it?
24:30Oh, yes, here's the money.
24:31Yes, yes, of course.
24:32Good God, it's gone.
24:33No, no, no, no.
24:34Give it up.
24:35Give it up.
24:35Basil.
24:36Help.
24:36Here it is.
24:37What's that?
24:38I found it, Mrs. Fawlty.
24:39The money.
24:40Oh, that's marvellous.
24:42Mrs. Richards.
24:43What?
24:44We found your money.
24:45Oh.
24:46The Major's found your money.
24:49What?
24:50Thank you so much, Major.
24:51There you are.
24:52It's telling you that we turn up.
24:53Oh, my.
24:53What is it, Basil?
24:57Better luck, eh, Fawlty?
24:59It's ten pounds short.
25:01Oh, dear.
25:02It's not.
25:05Ten pounds short?
25:08Oh, my God.
25:09Don't worry.
25:10We'll have a whip round.
25:11What on earth do you think you're doing?
25:18I'll look for the missing ten pounds of Major, Mrs. Richards.
25:20Where exactly did you find it, Major?
25:22In my pocket.
25:23In your pocket?
25:24Yeah, yeah.
25:24Not this suit.
25:25In my new suit.
25:26Would you mind if I popped up and had a look?
25:27No, no.
25:28Not at all.
25:28I'll see if I can find it.
25:30Won't be a moment.
25:30Did you say it was in your pocket?
25:35Yes, yes.
25:36Mrs. Richards, can I...
25:37What was it doing in your pocket?
25:37Can I explain?
25:38You're not explaining anything.
25:40You're completely loopy.
25:42Mad as a mouch hair.
25:43Yes, yes, I am.
25:44Yes, I am completely loopy.
25:46That's why I gave him the money to look after.
25:48What?
25:48You see, there's been a mistake.
25:50That money there is, in fact, mine.
25:52Yours?
25:53Yes, as the Major will confirm.
25:54You see, I was saving it up for a present for my wife, right?
25:56And that's why I couldn't say anything just now.
25:58But I gave it to the Major last night.
25:59What rubbish?
26:00This is my money.
26:01No, no, the Major will verify what I've said.
26:03Hmm?
26:03Could you verify that?
26:04What?
26:05What, what, old boy?
26:06The money I gave you last night.
26:08You know, for my wife's present.
26:09You remember I gave it to you just before you went to the theatre?
26:11The theatre?
26:11Well, yes, you remember.
26:13Hmm?
26:14Hmm?
26:15What?
26:15The money I won on the horse.
26:16A horse?
26:17Yes, now you're whispering.
26:18What do you say?
26:19He says he won it on a horse.
26:21Won it on a horse?
26:22It doesn't matter.
26:23Do you remember me giving it to you?
26:26Oh, think.
26:27Please think.
26:28What was the question again?
26:29Oh, the money, the money, the money.
26:31Do you remember?
26:32Manuel, Manuel, Manuel, Manuel.
26:33You remember I had some money yesterday.
26:36The money I won on the horse.
26:37Oh, I see.
26:38Yes.
26:38Tell Mrs. Richards.
26:39Tell her I had the money yesterday.
26:42Ahem.
26:42I know nothing.
26:47What?
26:48I know nothing.
26:49No, no, no, no.
26:50Nothing.
26:51No, no, forget that.
26:51No, no, forget everything I know not.
26:53No, no, you can tell her.
26:54You can tell her.
26:55No, I cannot.
26:55He says tell her.
26:56Tell her.
26:56Tell her.
26:57Oh, tell her.
26:57Please, please.
26:58Tell her.
26:59Tell her.
26:59Tell her.
26:59Tell her.
27:00Tell her.
27:00Tell her.
27:01Oh.
27:03No, I know nothing.
27:04I am from Barcelona
27:07I'm not listening to any more of this rubbish
27:10I'm going to finish my breakfast
27:12And when I come back, I want the rest of my money
27:15Give it to her, Basil
27:16I can't find it, give her ten from the till
27:19Fight!
27:23I'm going to give her a shirt off my back, too
27:36You see, I know nothing
27:38I'm going to send you to a vivis sectionist
27:40Now
27:43Good afternoon, Mr Pulte
27:59Good afternoon
28:01You've got a Mrs Richard staying here
28:04Yes, sir
28:09Oh, well, only she bought this yesterday
28:13Asked us to deliver it
28:14The thing is, she left some money behind
28:17Keeps it in this
28:18Ninety-five quid
28:20Look
28:21The cleaner found it this morning
28:23Almost threw it in the bin
28:25Lucky, eh?
28:26She around?
28:29Nope
28:30I'll give it to her
28:31Oh
28:32Thanks, Mr Pulte
28:33Goodbye
28:43We found her money
28:48Where?
28:49Well
28:49She
28:50It doesn't matter
28:51I'm ten pounds up on the deal
28:54Ten pounds up?
28:55Yes, it's ninety-five
28:56Even if I give her ten
28:57I'm still ten up
28:58Polly for the first time in my life
29:00I'm a home
29:01I'm winning
29:02Hello, Mrs Richard
29:06How lovely to see
29:07Your beautiful vase that you bought yesterday has just arrived
29:11Now, remind me
29:12The money that you have there
29:13Is it yours or mine?
29:15I told you
29:16It's mine
29:16You're absolutely sure?
29:18Yes, I am
29:19But you're still ten pounds short?
29:20Yes
29:21Polly
29:22Give Mrs Richard this, would you?
29:24What's that?
29:28This is mine
29:29What's that, Basil?
29:35It's mine
29:36What?
29:37It's the money I won on the horse
29:39That's right, dear
29:40Polly asked me to put it in the safe for her
29:42So, that's all sorted out
29:48This is your money, Polly
29:50This is your beautiful vase, Mrs Richard
29:52Polly, you did give me that money
29:55You won it on that horse
29:57That cost 75 pounds
30:05Oh, I am sorry, Mrs Richard
30:08We must pay you back, then
30:09Oh, I won
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