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00:00DCX Sonic 2. It starts by having the bad guy of the story say the same thing he said at the end of the last issue, wasting my time and trying to get brownie points of the reference twice.
00:13Having that line that explained what a Chaos Emerald is was just redundant last issue where a character already explained what the Emeralds were.
00:21Already the issue's off to a boring start where I'm forced to repeat myself about problems to not half-ass this.
00:29I have to remind you because the problem in this issue too, and the major plot hole of the story is that there's no way Sonic and Flash would have been stupid enough to stop here because they're supposed to be cool.
00:42The Flash would keep running and punch him into the ocean while also stopping on a dime.
00:48And even if he couldn't, one of their allies who they know is coming here would save them from the ocean anyways.
00:54Even if you assume that Sonic can't stop on a dime, so if he just ran into him and punched him into the ocean because he's faster than the Flash in this crossover, then momentum would send him into it too.
01:06Because the games have him full of momentum.
01:09Even though Sonic 4 and the Rush games proved that it might not have been canon to his powers and instead just a gameplay mechanic.
01:17I'd expect the Flash to be able to stop as fast as he can run, as he isn't a video game character.
01:24And isn't the whole appeal of the Flash that he can do literally anything fast?
01:30That'd include making the effort to stop because thanks to the speed force, physics don't apply to him.
01:36Which is why he doesn't get injured every time he stops or slows down too fast.
01:41Also, logically Flash would have learned how to swim.
01:45Because since he keeps getting into dangerous situations and there's a variety of places he goes to, he'd inevitably be under the water.
01:53He'd need hydrophobia to justify not knowing how to swim at this point then.
01:59And if Flash canonically doesn't know how to swim, that's still a plot hole since no one in his position would be that stupid and have lived this long in it.
02:11I wouldn't know if he can't swim.
02:13I never said I was an expert on any of these overrated superheroes.
02:17I have read that Flash is actually faster than Sonic.
02:20Actually, why did Sonic take longer to stop them?
02:24The fact that Sonic's ahead of Flash implies that he's faster than him once again.
02:28But like I pointed out with text on the screen last issue, which is something I do constantly in my reviews,
02:34DC crossovers are never canon to the source material of either, so this isn't even canon Flash.
02:41So he's alternate universe Flash anyways.
02:44It's still not ideal to depict him wrong, but only if it annoys most of his fans.
02:50And I've heard DC fans usually aren't aware of this crossover, and the few that had low enough standards to read this of course liked it anyways.
02:58So it ended up not mattering.
03:01Sonic didn't skid that far ahead when he tried to stomp, but he still did.
03:06But the distance he skidded ahead was only the amount covered by a few of his shoes lined up in front of him.
03:12So if he ran into Darkseid, he might get to skid to a stop in time not to go off the cliff.
03:18Why does he have to skid to a stop at all?
03:21He runs at the speed of sound as it is.
03:24He would realistically do a lot more skidding than that.
03:27So it's obvious that he has a required secondary power that prevents that and keeps him from getting injured from slowing down too fast.
03:34At that point it's arbitrary that he can't stomp instantly, like in AOSDH.
03:39And he can stop instantly in the games by stomping.
03:42But it's also arbitrary that he can go fast at all because it's never explained why any Sonic character has the specific powers he do, and not other ones.
03:50So that's believable.
03:52It's just a forgivable nitpick on top of the shit pie that is this scene, which had no right to progress the way it does,
03:59with these two speedsters uselessly standing still and talking beside Darkseid who was polite enough not to take action against people he would have hurt.
04:08Instead of being cool, Sonic asks if this is the guy, when it doesn't matter right now.
04:14Ramming him into the ocean to make him drop the emerald would be a win no matter who he is.
04:19Just the evil way he looks, in a way that no other person Sonic's ever seen does, means he's gonna think he's worth attacking in case he's a supervillain.
04:28And so what if the emerald falls into the ocean?
04:31Someone could dive to get it back, or Tails could send a robot or submarine after it, with it being saved from Eggman the whole time.
04:38My hands sore, and I'm only on the first page.
04:42Flash says that's Darkseid, and the comic just has to get in a dig against Eggman by saying he's not as bad as him, which we already understood when we were told that Darkseid conquered a bunch of planets.
04:53So that wasted my time as well, since any tension that would have built up gets destroyed when Sonic says he likes to challenge.
05:01Unless we're intended to think he's an idiot.
05:04And we know Darkseid's gonna end up leaving this universe anyways because of the heroes at the end of the crossover.
05:10And he probably won't get to do anything super evil because it's family friendly, and even if he does, it'll be undone by time travel or the universe pre-setting.
05:19They run up to Darkseid while saying an obvious plan in front of him that they should've gone over with each other earlier.
05:26And Flash grabs the emerald, and physics is completely ignored because the writer makes it so that Sonic homie attacking Darkseid's back doesn't move him one inch ahead even though he doesn't have a force field on and hasn't had his feet buried in the ground.
05:42Buildings have foundations below them for a reason. They have basements for a reason.
05:48The sheer momentum of Flash running at him and grabbing the emeralds would've caused him to move with them.
05:55The writer rode himself into such a corner that he had to force a dive ball of Sex Machina to force the obvious thing to not happen.
06:03This is something nobody with any understanding of how reality works and how Sonic and Flash's powers affect things could've possibly predicted.
06:12So it goes without saying that it's not my fault I didn't anticipate this exactly happening. I wasn't trying to predict what would happen.
06:21I did assume they'd never be ridden to run at him and attack him when he was still right next to the cliff because that would've led to this bullshit writing.
06:31I know if Darkseid was smacked into the ocean it'd make a fool out of a character he should and has to take seriously, but that's why he shouldn't have been standing at the edge of the cliff and been near some bass people.
06:44That was my point.
06:46And if this is how Darkseid normally is then that's bullshit writing for superhero fiction in general because it makes no sense.
06:53Even Swapbots could get knocked around.
06:56It doesn't matter if something's invincible because it can still be moved by a force smacking into it.
07:01Rick Sanchez put up a force field over himself in a comic issue, but the force field still got smacked and that still sent the force field smacking into a wall.
07:09I don't care how heavy Darkseid is, if he was that heavy he wouldn't be able to walk around because he would have to carry his own weight.
07:18Only magic would have this be possible and this guy has been associated with just science so far.
07:24Buildings are really heavy and they still get flattened by tornadoes going against them.
07:30The writer chooses to humiliate the supposedly cool heroes by having Flash get trapped and thrown into Sonic,
07:37and shows even more favoritism by having one of them instantly say run after all of their experience like this never happened to either of them before.
07:47It is good that Flash said hell. I'm glad they were allowed to get away with that in a Sonic comic.
07:53It's something superhero fiction nowadays gets away with.
07:57So it's in character for the Flash, and in some countries hell isn't even a swear at all.
08:03Why won't one of them consider making a tornado lift them by running around them?
08:08That's what Archie Sonic did with tons of robots in his first issue, and the whole reason Sonic's faster than Flash this crossover might be that he's based on Archie Sonic.
08:18They end up having to run away from lasers from his eyes. Somehow they don't get to just run back the way they came in a straight line and leave the place instantly.
08:28The panel after this doesn't tell me why. I don't really know which Sonic I'm supposed to look at first, and the only one that looks like he's running in a straight line looks like he's behind the laser and to the side of it while heading for nothing.
08:43Unless the head of this future Sonic is hiding some future laser that he could've jumped over anyway.
08:48But somehow, instead of them just jumping over any lasers and fleeing, they come up with a plan, which Sonic needs someone else to come up with because it makes total sense that the protagonist of a platformer didn't think to jump.
09:02Something he did in the comics too. Flash says to come at him and go high. So two lasers hit each other and they get sent backwards by a shockwave and are slightly burned. Especially Flash.
09:15I found out by reading a YouTube comment that these are actually supposed to be, like, Omega lasers that erase people from existence. So they're literally magic.
09:28So then why do they create a shockwave when they hit each other? They're just a magic spell. They would just cancel each other out and then disappear. There's no heat and energy to be generated.
09:40Why would you have Omega lasers instead of just regular lasers? Like, of course, a regular laser would also kill anybody that it hits. Why even go through all this extra effort?
09:51He underestimates the two of them. Then Darkseid activates a portal, and Sonic somehow is stupid enough to think Darkseid's a jerk for not killing him. This just points out a plot hole instead of simply not writing a plot like this at all.
10:06Instead of an epic fight scene involving a bunch of characters, things have already ended.
10:12Eyes on the jerk remark means that he left without saying a word because he's so confident and disrespectful. But it'd be much more disrespectful for him to at least insult them, like Sonic would do.
10:24He's motivated by sadism, so there's no way he wouldn't kill them while they're vulnerable here.
10:29So the writer rode himself into a corner and had to use another idiot ball to save them.
10:34Why did Flash think he could do anything against him? He's been with the Justice League for some time and their main enemy's been Darkseid.
10:42So Flash should have already learned not to bother attacking him, unless he only recently had this magical invincibility spell cast on him.
10:51I guess by Scarlet Witch.
10:53But I only assumed that because I've seen video reviews like Wankara's.
10:57It should explain why a factor into the plot progression happens for everyone to get it.
11:03Flash calls his friends to tell them what happened while I assume sounding tired because the shockwave was so hot he's overheated.
11:10Since there's no reason they'd be physically exhausted from running.
11:14He taunts them like a bully that Sonic and Totally Not Him wasn't fast enough to stop him.
11:19Which must be just to taunt him because clearly running speed had nothing to do with their failure.
11:24So he should have pointed that out, and he hasn't known him long enough to smile while calling him out on his unlikable insult.
11:31Speaking of fast enough, maybe Flash is right in the sense that if they had started running to the Emerald earlier instead of listening to worthless exposition, they would have gotten it in time.
11:42But nobody takes responsibility for this or thinks in their heads that it was their fault for stopping to take a chit chat when Darkseid was loose.
11:51Which further encourages me to not care about any of these characters and their boring repetitive exposition.
11:58That they haven't found anything in their searches.
12:01Then why are they even talking about it?
12:03There's an insultingly worthless scene that is the villain scene.
12:08Which is always just an excuse to tell us things twice while having no enjoyable characters either.
12:12Although what wouldn't be told twice would be that out of nowhere the Emeralds are trying to hide from the villains instead of being located effortlessly.
12:20Rouge's Emerald Radar worked for no problem when she was working for Eggman.
12:25I guess this is to insult Eggman to say that Darkseid is so much scarier than him that the Emeralds are hiding from him.
12:34There's padding, and I wonder why the artist had cyborgs stare directly at the audience because it never happens when the story isn't trying to break the fourth wall.
12:43So it's just amateurish from how distracting it is.
12:47After boredom, Tails says he's got the locations of the Emeralds.
12:51You'd think the guy who made a fake Emeralds wouldn't take so long to track down the energy of the Emeralds when he would have had plenty of free time before this adventure to start making that technology.
13:01He had an Emeralds radar on a Riders game in Sonic 3.
13:05That was only mentioned in the Japanese manual, so only the Japanese and the nerdies of nerds know that, so you can't expect anyone else to.
13:12Those radars could have been broken with the last one being broken very recently, but that should have been explained.
13:19Anyways, what happens next is predictable and as unengaging as before.
13:24Cyborg confuses me by saying that he's sending the heroes to the Emeralds close to them, even though they're the ones that do the actual moving.
13:32Stupid dialogue.
13:33Flash continues his unlikable bragging when Sonic talks as if his own speed can't be measured, which is weird for someone named Sonic, and ignores that his speed does get measured in Sonic Unleashed.
13:44But to be fair, that's in the visuals of gameplay, being totally meta-textual for all we know.
13:50I'm a firm believer that gameplay is canon in a video game series, but I'm talking about a number on the screen that doesn't get used by the player for solving puzzles to progress, not exact abilities.
14:02So it could have just been done to impress the audience.
14:05Also, I read a YouTube comment that Pico's second is an exaggeration.
14:11It's easy to explain as Flash is just breaking though.
14:15If he isn't just breaking because it's a different universe Flash from the real one, then that means that Archie Sonic, I mean this Sonic, is even more fast in comparison to him.
14:28So after the assholes are done talking, there's boring talking for a while as I'm just desperate for it to end just from glancing at its panels.
14:36Which I think every time I see a panel with nothing happening and characters with no personality.
14:41Batman asks for a backup plan and doesn't get one right away, making Superman look stupid.
14:47But Wonder Woman looks smart by agreeing with Batman, and Cyborg says he's got an emergency way to return to the Watchtower right away.
14:55So this prematurely makes me wonder if the heroes are going to use it eventually.
14:59A great writer would have thought it would also be good to have the only reason for bringing this up be that it makes Cyborg look smart.
15:07Because making a main character competent is worth it in and of itself.
15:12But this is the writer who's been all about making his main characters incompetent for plot progression his entire career.
15:19So it's very likely that he's going to somehow have them fail to get all the emeralds.
15:24The only thing good I can think of about giving away the plot early is that if the comic gets prematurely cancelled, at least we'll know what'll happen next.
15:34But he could just tell people that anyways on social media.
15:37It's worth it to not have everybody know.
15:40Just don't spoil the plot so that some people won't have any reason left to buy the rest of the issues.
15:45Then Green Lantern has such a negative attitude that he says that they couldn't evacuate the planet.
15:51Because he thinks they'll have to do that.
15:54This only gave me pause because I know in the meta sense that we'll never see the whole planet actually needing evacuation in a kids' comic meant for only 5 issues.
16:03Unless they're gonna undo it with time travel.
16:07He asks if they can do any better than that as if he's surprised at how ineffective his team is in that way.
16:13As if he hasn't been a member of the Justice League.
16:16It should be Silver asking this question.
16:19Superman again looks stupid in how overconfident he is against someone invincible when I was already told they'll fail.
16:26And I'd rather like seeing my favorite traditional superhero.
16:31Not be punished every time I look forward to his dialogue.
16:35I said traditional because every dictionary I've looked up has the word superhero be defined in a way that even Sonic and his friends could fall under it.
16:46It's not about having a cape and a secret identity in a costume anymore.
16:51Even with 3 super speedy characters going to pick up and carry to safety everybody in a tiny time frame.
16:58Where are they gonna take them all to without huge spaceships or interdimensional portals?
17:03And also it takes a very long time to pack up all of your belongings.
17:07Sure hope they're gonna help with that afterwards.
17:09Because separating a person from their belongings is a traumatizing dick move.
17:13I wish these characters wouldn't actually talk to each other like people.
17:17None of them asked how in the world these speedy people failed to get an emerald.
17:23None of them show frustration at them and get an explanation and then apologize.
17:27And if it's because they already know that Darkseid can't be knocked over, then again, why did Flash even bother?
17:36Then the story thankfully takes a break from all the dialogue to do silent visual storytelling.
17:41With each panel for a while showing the various supervillains against each separate team.
17:46I assume the characters are just fighting in the way they always do anyways.
17:49And they don't do anything that hasn't happened in Sonic before.
17:52So this soul is creatively bankrupt as crossovers by definition are.
17:57They just shouldn't be around because of this.
17:59And I've got no reason to be invested in any of these tensionless panels since there's no characters without clawed armor in any of these panels that would need protection.
18:08So there would be no laws if I didn't see the whole fight.
18:11Then there's more boring dialogue.
18:14It's weird to me to see the name Steppenwolf since it was already used by Penders.
18:19Why are Shadow and Batman doing nothing against him so that he can do this talking?
18:24Why doesn't Shadow teleport him so that he's stuck under the ground, or at least ram him off the bridge?
18:30He resorts to typical punches again.
18:33Why is it that while Sonic did the homing attacks, because that's like the games, they keep up the trend with Shadow where he resorts to boring melee attacks like he's Knuckles?
18:43Even though if he's this arrogant because he's the ultimate life form, then he'd be using the most dignified offensive abilities that are associated with him.
18:54So the Sonic character gets called pathetic.
18:57Nothing new there.
18:58And says he was just a distraction and uses Cast Control.
19:02I'd be a lot happier with this if I didn't assume that it was Batman's plan instead of the writer finally understanding that he should be smart.
19:12Batman compliments and gets told that I used Chaos Control to stop time.
19:17I like that he said that instead of, I used Chaos Control.
19:20That's the name of my ability to stop time.
19:23Which would stupidly suggest that all he can ever do with Chaos Control is stop time, even though the final boss fight between him and Sonic and FD2 debunked that with their voice clips.
19:32I'm glad the fight was ended with Shadow being competent like you might be able to predict if you had faith in the writer, and I was still surprised by the result, because it was the third thing I'd expect.
19:42Shadow actually thinking to use his Chaos Control has become so rare that I wonder if Flynn was mandated to do so here.
19:50There's a rumble and blue lights appear all over the places where the heroes are.
19:55This villain's really crossing into Villain Sue territory.
19:59Why even read a story involving him if he's too powerful?
20:03He's just gonna humiliate the characters that you want to see be competent.
20:07Just skip to the part where he loses.
20:10It's too depressing to never see the heroes do victories that matter.
20:14Shadow doesn't matter because he didn't kill the scum, I assume.
20:18Because for no reason Batman assumed he didn't kill him, or else he would've lectured him.
20:23Darkseid states the obvious and says space and time is warping.
20:27He says with just this one he could mutilate this world, which is overpowered nonsense.
20:33So the word just should've been a red flag to the writer.
20:37Now this is how it was in Archie, where one measly emerald powered a machine that rebooted the universe.
20:44Maybe I won't find this so hard to believe if it weren't for the fact that I know about the Master Emerald,
20:49which makes the Chaos Emerald to look small by comparison.
20:52So I prefer the Master Emerald to be used for something so powerful.
20:56It is a magic gem, so why couldn't it mutilate several universes?
21:02But it would've been impressive to see the bad guy have to do a lot more to earn this kind of power,
21:07instead of just taking a leisurely walk to one emerald that was conveniently out in the open on the Gramps.
21:14We didn't even get to see him do a special stage.
21:17It'd be better for him to have to get all the emeralds in a difficult way.
21:21He didn't even try when succeeding against his enemies.
21:24Where are these people even working from anyways?
21:27I guess he pays really well.
21:29And they all assume that he's gonna fail.
21:32Batman tells his friends throughout a time within the span of one issue, surprisingly.
21:37Well, fast pacing's better than boring pacing, and I was already bored by this pacing as it was.
21:43I'll take anything for this crossover to end faster.
21:47So eventually, Superman says they'll all need a way to reach the Ragnarok.
21:51And confusingly, Tails says he doesn't have anything because his fleet of planes can't handle that kind of approach.
21:58He seriously never built any aircraft that could get to a death egg on his own,
22:03after all the times the heroes had to go to space.
22:06I'd have to assume he did, but Eggman wrecked it recently.
22:10And also, what fleet?
22:12It's awesome that Tails said he was competent enough off-screen to have built a fleet
22:17that's more competent than he gets in the games.
22:20So this isn't even bad, because it's more respectful to a major part of the source material than the source material.
22:27It's fine to contradict one thing about source material in the name of being respectful to a more important part of it if fans like that.
22:35But the story should actually show the Tails fleet then, because it'd be cooler to see than read about.
22:43Eventually, Sonic proposes the idea that they could hitch a ride on the egg carrier.
22:48So there's more boring talking.
22:50With Eggman talking more than he has to to get his points across.
22:54Flash guesses that Eggman is Sonic's nemesis.
22:57But while he is right, I just have to assume that what he's basing that on is the fact that Eggman wasn't with Sonic to help him all along.
23:04But just because he wasn't at Sonic's picnic and didn't happen to be where the minion attacks were to defend people,
23:11doesn't necessarily prove that he isn't an ally of Sonic.
23:14Tails uses technology too, and he's an ally of Sonic.
23:18So for all he knew, Eggman could have been another Tails who was just busy somewhere else.
23:24Like Wave.
23:25So there's some more dialogue that's insanely boring from how predictable and lifeless it feels.
23:30I wish there was something else in all of this.
23:33Of course Lex Luthor's reference.
23:35It'd be weird not to, but the issue still sucks.
23:38Eggman says that because he sees Darkseid as a worse threat, he'll give the heroes a ride to him and leave it all to them.
23:45It makes sense that he'd see them as more capable of being a supervillain than his robots,
23:50because robots always failed against people like that who were fighting a supervillain.
23:54And so it's smart of him if he's not even gonna risk sending his robots there too.
23:59It feels weird to have the Eggman team up in the second issue.
24:03Weird doesn't necessarily mean bad though.
24:06It's more like it's demeaning to him, that we didn't even get to see him try against Darkseid.
24:12Even though his whole character since day one has been that he's arrogant.
24:16And if he was capable of accepting that, then he wouldn't have been able to win against a tougher force.
24:21He would have stopped fighting Sonic and left to start his empire on another planet.
24:26This is the guy who tried to use an Egg Carrier to take on perfect chaos.
24:30He has no idea that Darkseid's planning on damaging the world.
24:35He'd be assuming he wants to take over the world, but he was given no indication that that'd affect him,
24:40someone who's already a fugitive from the current leaders of the world.
24:44Or he could assume he wants to use the Emerald to power stuff.
24:47And again, he has no way of knowing that inconvenience him.
24:50Maybe he should be assuming that he's gonna kill the heroes for him, and then he could go fight him.
24:56Eggman has the ability to make Emerald Radars, as Sonic Adventure 2 proved.
25:01But since Darkseid took an Emerald, the only reason it makes sense for him to do this is he wants to get the Emeralds too, but was beat to it.
25:08So he should have seen him trying to get that Emerald on the Eggmobile and have it proven to him that Darkseid gets the Emeralds too fast because he can portal away.
25:15So maybe he portals to them.
25:17The point is, if you had to call Darkseid a threat with no reason to know that, I wouldn't have ranted.
25:23It's smart to have the pacing fast at first in the crossover to skip to what's supposed to be the most exciting part of it.
25:30So that most of the crossover's issues are the good part.
25:33It's probably executive meddling, but it's a surprisingly brilliant, subversive move on the part of the executives.
25:40At least it would be if you assume that it's because the executives know that this crossover sucks, and so they want to get done as fast as possible.
25:48Flash smartly doesn't trust Eggman and gets told that they can, and he stands to lose as much as the rest of them.
25:54That as much is just the Chaos Emeralds, but the way he phrases it implies that he thinks Eggman magically knows Darkseid's emotive.
26:02Thankfully, the pacing is fast when it immediately cuts to the Egg Carrier flying towards Darkseid's flying base, avoiding lasers that curve out of one.
26:11Which I guess is a new thing for Sonic.
26:14And even though it crashes into it, creating a hot explosion, all of the heroes emerge from it just fine.
26:20Why waste time having Wonder Woman say she'll fight Eggman after Darkseid?
26:25We're all smart enough to know she won't, and it'll just disappoint any idiot expecting her to stay here after the crossover.
26:32Amy fawns over her even though I haven't been shown Amy seeing her do anything cool.
26:37I just have to assume she showed super strength in the fight they had against the Batgirl.
26:42Of course she would've, but it's less emotionally impactful and it's harder to take a character seriously when they fawn over another character if we haven't seen why they would.
26:53There's just a bunch of boring dialogue after this with nothing happening.
26:58All of it is so boring that even small text bubbles feel like they drag out forever because no sentence is interesting.
27:05Logically the speedsters are told to search for Darkseid.
27:08And logically Flash finds it instantly.
27:11And he points out that he did so faster than Sonic.
27:14And I have to hope I'm supposed to think Sonic is wrong that he just got lucky he went the other way than him.
27:20I find it cringy to see Flash say cope.
27:23Because I only saw that way of talking on the internet.
27:26So I didn't think anyone talks like that in person risking getting punched for it.
27:30But I don't know. Flash isn't even a teenager right?
27:33So what's the point of having him use slang that miners use?
27:37It makes sense for Sonic because he's always been meant to be cool and hip.
27:41If I were to argue this means the series should have to keep using modern slang, it'd look dated later.
27:48So maybe the series should avoid the kind of slang that becomes dated to not lose its identity but also stay timeless.
27:54But then since we can't see the future to learn what slang would become outdated, it'd have to use no slang for that.
28:01And how can you have a cool cast of non-adults relatively talk like actual cool non-adults without using any slang?
28:09Ultimately this means the Sonic cast should use modern slang, but just only do it occasionally.
28:15And the less traditionally cool the character's supposed to be, the less slang they should use.
28:20Anyways, it's cathartic that Flash calls Sonic Little Man.
28:24It's good at Darkseid to say he'll give their world credit for being stubborn.
28:29It's not outright nice because I doubt the heroes appreciate this.
28:32But it is mature to be able to admit what's good about your enemies instead of just endlessly demonizing them like a toxic fanboy.
28:39It's also smart of him to try to attack his enemies without taking the effort and time in turning around to face speedsters.
28:46It's a bit overpowered that he can have his eye lasers turn around and go over him to aim at people behind him though.
28:53Not that overpowered, but it seems villain-sue-ish again.
28:58Superman takes the laser hit for them and somehow he screams when I'd expect Mr. Bulletproof to be immune to getting hurt by lasers.
29:06And he has to be getting hurt or he wouldn't be in pain.
29:09I thought he was invincible.
29:11Also, I read a YouTube comment that his Omega lasers that he shoots out from his eyes are supposed to erase you from existence upon contact.
29:22Well, clearly he's not using those lasers here or Superman would be gone.
29:27So what an idiot.
29:29There's no reason for him not to use Omega lasers against literally everybody.
29:34Unless they're really energy exhaustive.
29:39And he only has a very limited amount of them.
29:42But that wasn't established.
29:44He calls the heroes slow even though it makes sense that they wanted to rush over to the guy who effortlessly dealt with them the last time they tried things.
29:53So what were they supposed to do?
29:55Idiot.
29:56The two say truth to each other because they were being competitive even though they were always still on the same side.
30:03And were never competitive in a way that distracted from their mission.
30:06So there's no reason it would go on to do that.
30:09But if it did, that would've created more conflict and tension.
30:13But also been frustratingly unlikable of them, so good.
30:16But they're unlikable already.
30:18And it would've made a more interesting story than just the heroes try to hit Darkseid whenever not dodging him.
30:25Which I guess is all that the fight will be.
30:28Batman says the heroes should neutralize the device.
30:31What device?
30:33How does he know about any device?
30:35Why didn't he go over this plan with them while they were on the way here?
30:39Darkseid would've hit him while he was saying this.
30:42Why didn't he try to shoot lasers at the heroes while they were saying those things before this to shut them up?
30:47Because he'd think they're talking what's annoying.
30:50He says they should keep him distracted with a fight, but never specifies who takes the emeralds.
30:55Which he should've gone over with them on the ride here.
30:57What if all of them tried to just rammed into each other?
31:01Logically all of them would fight instead of trying to go for the emeralds.
31:05And now for the fight, which is unengaging because it's about nothing but characters with invincible plot armor against an invincible villain.
31:11Eventually he's tied up and taunted, and at some point Shadow uses Chaos Control, but nothing happens.
31:18Darkseid talking after this means he wasn't stopped in time.
31:22Because villains sue creator's pet favoritism.
31:26He just says he was told about Chaos Control and the promise of that power lured him here, and Shadow says impossible.
31:32And I don't know whether it's about his immunity to time-stopping or the idea that he could use Chaos Control.
31:38Well, he already portaled to a place, and that's also Chaos Control.
31:42Why does Shadow doubt that he could do that, too?
31:45He already was able to use an emeralds individually in the sense that he had it blowing.
31:50That's already unique.
31:52Shadow should interrupt him now that he's talking again, because it's obvious all he's gonna do is brag about what they already assumed about him.
31:59So why doesn't Shadow just warp Darkseid to under the ground to get stuck under there without the emeralds?
32:05Or Whip? They could dig it up.
32:08If he could just stand up and use the last toe around him as a whip, then what took him so long?
32:14Why embarrass himself for even a little bit by pretending he was weakened?
32:18Why doesn't he attack Sonic and Flash while they're stating the obvious and planning a strategy?
32:23Sonic would just attack him.
32:25Flash goes from saying emeralds aren't his thing to saying that he can go use his power to disrupt the dimensional what's-it.
32:31Which contradicted himself.
32:33Sonic homie attacks the bad guy, and there's some more boring dialogue as Flash explains that he intangibled himself to get to a place,
32:41and continues to explain to just the audience what he plans, instead of thanking it.
32:46Like Mike Gallagher wrote this.
32:48Flash gets protected by a silver and green lantern, and there's a lot of boring exposition that explains that Flash is wasting his time,
32:56and Sonic Park is talking in a confusing way to fail to explain it away.
33:00While the dimensional energies being out of sync matter, they are different dimensions because they have different atomic vibrational frequencies,
33:08according to Archie, so why would the energies being sync?
33:12Darkseid is relatable to me by saying enough, and shockwaves people away.
33:17Sonic Park wonders if the universe is going to collapse because he's got the ability to read spikes in certain particles,
33:24which would only be believable if he had been given a reason to think it would come in handy much earlier.
33:29Who cares, this will all be undone anyway.
33:32And why would this even happen if Darkseid didn't want it to?
33:36Darkseid has a reason to not freak out, because he thinks he could use the emeralds on his own to bend time and space back to his will without being the ultimate life form, or Sonic.
33:45He gets grabbed, and Sonic and his own friends get force field protected in a flying green bubble as Batman says boring dialogue and mentions the boom tube.
33:55He says he's putting his faith in them.
33:58If one of them actually thought it was hopeless to stop Darkseid, then it would be completely unacceptable that only the Sonic characters were trapped in a force field and sent away, instead of everybody here.
34:09Just leave Superman here.
34:12So they get sent to someone I don't know, so there can be even more boring talking I'm desperate to get done.
34:18Zagan just states the obvious, and Amy shows morality by wanting to return to help them and gets told they can't go back because supposedly their dimension's gone.
34:27I guess it isn't.
34:28And then how?
34:29How is that machine so incompetent it loses the dimension and coordinates just because of an increase in certain particles in one of them?
34:36This crossover would definitely be undone when time traveled in.
34:40A ripoff for Worlds Unite.
34:42This is also a ripoff of Pandora's idea for a Sonic movie where Mobius got destroyed.
34:47The story ends there with him being in a satellite over the Earth.
34:50I actually appreciate that ending kinda because then it could get shown with this version of Earth's life through the eyes of characters I actually care about.
34:57Also, there's the obvious problem of there being no interactions between the superhero characters and the Sonic characters.
35:04At least next issue.
35:06The thing is, the Sonic characters were only interacting with the superheroes that they were like.
35:12You weren't seeing Sonic characters clash with characters that they were nothing like.
35:18Because realistically, they were all on the same side against Darkseid.
35:23You're not missing out on anything new.
35:25Oh no, Sonic doesn't get to compete with Flash again.
35:29That didn't get a hold immediately.
35:31This boring issue by Ian Flynn not only forces Sonic and Flash to fail to stop Darkseid from getting away,
35:37because with no explanation for new readers, Darkseid can't be moved by them attacking him at Super Sonic's speed.
35:44Yet he can walk around despite how heavy he'd have to be for that.
35:48But the story actually goes on to have the heroes have to use Eggman as a free taxi service to get to Darkseid's death thing.
35:54Only for the Sonic characters to have to be sent to another dimension, thinking their own one was lost in the pointless fight.
36:01I guess I am glad the pacing is so rushed.
36:04I thought they'd spend the next few issues looking for emeralds and showing entire fight scenes over them.
36:10And I'd be like, who cares?
36:12But I would like that the whole issue anyways.
36:15The dialogue's extremely boring almost any time it happens, and so is the action because they all have plot armor.
36:22And I don't see any creativity in the story.
36:25The only thing positive about this that's major is that the pacing's so fast.
36:30And that's only because the crossover is boring so I want it to end quickly.
36:34And every page that its plot progression takes up is agonizing to me.
36:38If it wasn't so boring, it should have had more issues to avoid feeling rushed because a story like this needs to be a little longer.
36:46People aren't thinking about it before saying that it should have had more issues.
36:50But just talking unhypothetical about an imaginary version of this crossover that's good.
36:55But with this writing, I just remember how long Worlds Unite and Clyde were.
37:00And wonder how I got so lucky as to have this be only 5 issues long.
37:05You don't want to have to suffer through as many issues of this as Worlds Collide had.
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