- hace 6 semanas
Categoría
📺
TVTranscripción
00:00Today, on Humor Amarillo, an American loses his ass over a stone.
00:09An Australian woman loses her mind over two men.
00:14And a German loses his head over a ball.
00:18No, this isn't a joke. You're all probably wondering, but where are the Chinese?
00:22Today we have a special program. Today we welcome contestants from around the world to the first Yellow Humor Olympics.
00:28Yes, it couldn't have been Madrid 2012, but it doesn't matter, because this will be much more spectacular.
00:35With contestants from Canada, Switzerland, and thousands of other countries we haven't even heard of.
00:39And from Spain, everyone at home with the Spanish, because we're going to teach the whole world a lesson.
00:44Look, that banner says Welcome, which is welcome in English.
00:47And next to it, in Japanese it says, you're all going to die, but only a few will understand that.
00:53Takeshi's henchmen are very happy because they are going to taste fresh meat from different parts of the world.
00:59Oh my goodness! The contestants thought they were coming to the Olympics, but they walked right into a death trap.
01:05Yes, it seems to me that they won't get out of here alive even with the help of McGill himself.
01:14This is usually about Chinese people punching. So today, it's you who'll be punching.
01:20And it's going to hurt. A lot, almost a lot. Do you like the subject or what?
01:24After this brief introduction that no one understood, General Tani goes to talk to Clark Kent.
01:31That is, Superman in his secret identity.
01:34And he decides that if the guy is stupid enough to come dressed like that, he's going to make him sub-general of the troops.
01:41Of course, because if they already had little chance of survival, in the hands of that guy they are totally lost.
01:48It's like leaving them in the hands of Inspector Crusoe.
01:50Hello! Welcome to the Yellow Humor Olympics.
01:55They are celebrated every... whenever we feel like it.
01:58The Olympic spirit is respected here. What isn't respected are the contestants.
02:03You'll see how cool the Olympics are.
02:05And Clark Kent leading the troop reaches the sliding wall.
02:09A wall that was filled with the hopes of many countries to win a medal.
02:14And this is the bad thing about including Westerners in the contest.
02:16That they are all super smart and instead of brute force, they use their heads.
02:22And here the only thing the head is used for is to break it, not to think.
02:26Of course, because thinking is not fun.
02:29Now they're all making a human mountain out of it and... where are the blows, huh?
02:33Where are they? I want to see them. Where? Where?
02:36There are no blows at the moment.
02:38But we do have the typical pranks they do at school, such as taking off your pants in the middle of recess.
02:42The mountain of the Spanish has collapsed.
02:47But please, don't panic, we get nervous quickly, eh?
02:54Will you invite me to your house in Canada?
02:56It's that I live with my parents.
02:57It's all the same to me.
02:59Dad, I'm going to earn enough to buy a flat.
03:01And there we have an American who is an unemployed actress and Madonna impersonator.
03:10And he doesn't have a job because they say he overacts a lot.
03:17Damn, that's not overacting, that's superacting.
03:20Al Pacino is a restrained actor next to him.
03:21And we're going to connect with the Spanish, let's see how they do.
03:28Well, not very well, but let's not panic, there's still a lot of testing to be done.
03:32Specifically, there are 30 seconds left.
03:34So, either a miracle like the one in Malta comes or we fall here.
03:41But even Clark Kent has managed to pass the test and has not needed to transform into Superman.
03:45That voice just said the test is over.
03:58Well, the countries eliminated so far have been...
04:01Only Spain.
04:03And for those who console themselves by saying that the important thing is to participate, it is a lie.
04:08Only losers say that.
04:11That's a fool's consolation.
04:12Well, maybe what the Spanish have done is eliminate themselves on purpose so as not to get hit in the next tests.
04:18That makes sense, of course, the Spanish picaresque.
04:20We are very smart, but losers at the end of the day.
04:24And to liven up the Olympics, we've brought in the cheerleaders from Valdemoro Football Club.
04:28They will delight us with their regional dances.
04:31And the assault on the fort begins.
04:34Get to the top without getting your cookie broken and you'll move on to the next phase.
04:38And now we see how countries are all coming together to try to overcome the test.
04:44That's very nice, because the only thing nations usually get together for is to invade one country or another.
04:50Among the contestants, you'll see some clever people who have covered themselves with branches as camouflage.
04:56Well, those are the French.
04:57Yes, their car was burned under strange circumstances and they're coming to see if they can get out and buy a new one.
05:04And there's the overacting actress, who, in addition to overacting, is a super cheater.
05:15Because he brought an umbrella from home and of course, anyone can pass the test.
05:19Man, I don't know, but I almost prefer the test with Chinese.
05:22Of course, it always tastes a little better with Chinese.
05:28And pay attention, because Clark Kent gets angry with the henchmen and really gives them a hard time.
05:32Well yes, in my country, New Zealand, the Lord of the Rings was filmed, which has a very beautiful landscape.
05:39The cliffs that come out are also there, the hobbies also live there, next to my house, they are very nice and invite me to the drinking parties, they are super cool.
05:47Speaking of your house, can I come stay there for a few days with you and my hobbies? What do you say? Okay, yes, please.
05:52There are hotels too, you know?
05:54But hotels, there, you have to pay for hotels and I don't like that.
05:58I want to go for free, with all the money, for everything to be free, and for you to feed me, for you to make my bed.
06:03And as for hobbies, we'll go out for a drink, what do you say?
06:06Wow, what a tiresome guy.
06:07Hey, a German! Come on, you don't have a house in Berlin, do you? I can stay there for a few days.
06:13It's that I live with my boyfriend, who is a sperm whale and I don't know what else to say.
06:17Oh, you rascal, you were making it up so I wouldn't have to stay!
06:20Come on, man!
06:22I'm going to say hello. Hey, boyfriend! Look who's stalking me!
06:26Pull, pull, pull, harass, he says! She's holding on!
06:29And Clark Kent sees how his troops are dwindling in number.
06:32There are 88 contestants left.
06:36Hey, summer vacation is right around the corner!
06:39And I see so many possible destinations here! I'm going to do it! Yes, yes, yes! Free, I like it! Come on, let's go!
06:46I can't believe it. The map indicates that the next test is the Chinotaur's Labyrinth.
06:51The legendary test, where contestants must find their way out without being caught by two serial killers.
06:57And avoiding the false exits that lead to a pool full of piranhas hungry for food.
07:02The first contestant is a tough American, one of those who are so tough that they sleep with a gun under their pillow.
07:09But today he has no weapon.
07:12And look how she is not so brave with her hands.
07:15Look at her!
07:16No, no, no!
07:19Another American. This one tougher than the last. This one sleeps with not one, but four pistols under his pillow.
07:26Four little cribs have his bed, four little arms that guard it.
07:30And as always, the Americans have to have the last word, he wants revenge.
07:36And like a good American who votes for Bush, he takes it in his own hands.
07:39The previous contestant comes along, with the same desire for revenge and the same IQ.
07:47Hey! There's your revenge. Take revenge, handsome!
07:50It comes from New Zealand, a country best known for being the place where the Lord of the Rings was stolen.
07:56He worked on the film as a hobby. The problem is that he had to go out on his knees and ended up with his legs in tatters.
08:02And he says that with all the monsters he saw in that movie, the ones inside the labyrinth don't scare him at all.
08:09Man, the difference is that the ones in the movie were computer generated and these are real.
08:14And when he realizes they're not computer-made, he takes the plunge and jumps into the water before things get any worse, the cowardly guy.
08:21Hey, you're from New Zealand, right?
08:23No no.
08:23Yes, the desert of the rings, in the village of hobbies, I'm the third from the right, the one looking at the camera, as I'm looking now.
08:31Let's see if he makes more movies about hobbies or elves, because I do them very well.
08:34They didn't want me in The Chronicles of Narnia, but well, the movie wasn't worth much either.
08:38By the way, I'll write you my number.
08:41He comes from India, where he has an Indian food restaurant, of course.
08:45I don't like this one very much because Indian food is very spicy.
08:48But you can tell him to make it less spicy if you want.
08:50Ah, well then I like him better now. Come on, let him come in.
08:52The Israeli contestant wants these games to bring a little peace.
08:57That's all very well, but that's in other games. Here, peace, peace.
09:00What is called peace, in any case, after death.
09:04And when a girl, instead of using the wooden planks to get down, prefers to use her ass to slide,
09:09That means she's Australian.
09:13And like a good Australian, the girl is very stealthy.
09:17Be careful, he's using the koala strategy.
09:20Who's the other girl? Who's the other girl?
09:22Which hasn't been of any use to her, because they've caught her and sent her into the water to look for Nemo.
09:31Watch out, that stone is coming!
09:33They've caught me betrayed. The koala's strategy never fails.
09:37Are you Australian? Do you have a place there for me to stay?
09:39No, it's that I'm crazy and dangerous.
09:41But you don't seem like it, do you? You don't seem crazy to me.
09:45Look how crazy I am!
09:47Now my Cris!
09:49Come on! If this girl is crazy like that, I'm not staying at your house.
09:52This girl is Canadian and works as a tour guide in Niagara Falls.
09:56And of course, accustomed to dealing with tourists on a daily basis, who are very annoying, these two monsters make her laugh.
10:04There are some tourists who are very annoying, not the Japanese, the Japanese just take their photos and that's it, they're nice.
10:10And this is an English lord, and to have a little fun with him, we told him that what he had to do was go straight into the water.
10:23And he's so happy because he thinks he's won. Much love, much love, but we laughed at you today.
10:31The contestant from Iran wants to see yellow comedy on TV in his country.
10:35Of course, because he has to download it from the internet with Spanish comments and the colleague doesn't understand anything.
10:41He will continue competing for his Iranian yellow humor.
10:44And let's go with the hamburgers.
10:46Yes, girls, cheer up a little, the contestants need it.
10:49She is a contestant from New Zealand, the country where Lord of the Rings was filmed.
10:54It's just my thing, the New Zealand contestants are all great guys.
10:59They're almost at the level of Spain, huh?
11:00Well, they're big, but it doesn't matter, Lord of the Rings was filmed in their country.
11:04Yes, and in ours the CID and look at what it has helped us with.
11:10And there goes that annoying Clark Kent, who hopes he crashes now and leaves us alone, he's such a pain.
11:21Let's watch a replay of the clumsiness of a superhero who refused to use his superpowers to pass the test.
11:27Well, he didn't want to use them, but now that he's fallen, he thinks better of it and decides that yes, he's going to use them.
11:37And pay attention, because you're about to see the saddest transformation of Clark Kent into Superman in history.
11:42He's so dumb he thinks Superman is spelled with a C and he put it on his chest.
11:51Cuperman!
11:52This guy makes Adam West's Batman look cool.
11:55This Englishman is an Arsenal hooligan. Despite his poor appearance, he is feared in the stadium.
12:02And like a good hooligan, he does the odd trick.
12:05We forgive him because you go tell him he's eliminated, he'll show up with the whole gang and give us a hard time.
12:10Hey hooligan, you've come with your girl, I saw, right?
12:14Yeah, look, I got the Chinese one, she's hot, huh?
12:16Do you have a house in London, just in case?
12:18Oh, your underbody smells!
12:20Well, maybe you two can make room for me, right? You seem so in love. Come on, give each other a kiss.
12:27Wow, that's nice! Do you have any fond memories from your hooligan days that left a lasting impression on you?
12:33Yeah, look how they left me in a Manchester game. Toothless!
12:36He's Canadian. Specifically, he comes from the beautiful city of Toronto.
12:44Well, yeah, that's silly. That's why it's from Toronto.
12:47Humor festival. Ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee, ho, ho, ho.
12:51This American woman, along with her sister, has a musical comedy duo with which she wants to make a living.
12:58This is the interrogation.
12:59And its sister is the exclamation mark. They both call out funny punctuation marks.
13:13I think that as a comedy duo, they are more finished than they have virtues.
13:17But maybe by talking to them, we'll know if they're funny or not.
13:21I'm very funny. Can I come to your house in the United States?
13:24No way, but we'll give you a kiss on the ear.
13:26This is the closest you'll ever get to a threesome.
13:37This Canadian has confused this event with the 100-meter dash.
13:46Americans are known for many things, some of them true.
13:50Others, too.
13:52For example, of cheaters.
13:53Also clever ones.
14:05A bit of a show-off too.
14:09And to have some pitiful celebrations.
14:12This American is Van Damme's stunt double.
14:15If you look back, we've all seen how you fell.
14:21And with this double, it's no wonder Van Damme's movies are so bad.
14:25Now I understand. Van Damme acts well. The bad one is his stunt double.
14:29And remembering the sisters who wanted to dedicate themselves to comedy but couldn't even get a Saturday night performance, this test ends.
14:36And since it's the Olympics, we invited some of the contestants for a snack.
14:41Yes, there is raw fish, raw seaweed and more raw things too.
14:46Some foods contain laxatives, others contain rat poison, and the best are those with cyanide.
14:51Whatever you eat, there are sure rewards.
14:54But it's not about doing anything wrong, it's about having a laugh, so we can see their faces later.
14:58How do you see today's contestants? They're doing well, huh?
15:00But the Olympics are nice, huh?
15:03Regular.
15:03Regular?
15:04Yeah.
15:05How is that?
15:06Well, because they're only fun when an athlete dies.
15:09And what is today's advice?
15:11Go for it!
15:13And we arrived at the gates of panic.
15:15And there goes the German cousin of the Chinese Cudeiro, the German Cudeiro.
15:19No, not that one, that's bad!
15:22No, das guten ist guten!
15:23So, you have killed the German Cudeiro!
15:26This American suffers from what is known as laughing disease.
15:33It starts with everything.
15:34She almost lost her mind and split her sides, the aunt.
15:38And he says to the door, you are a bad, bad door!
15:43Yes, yes, the laughter disease.
15:45Look, we said you couldn't smoke weird stuff on the show before we started.
15:56This Englishman is one of those who likes to use his head before anything else.
16:05This one was also a hooligan.
16:08Look, he's going to leave us without the doors.
16:10He's a bank robber and he's come in his work clothes.
16:13Hit the robber! Come on, hit him hard!
16:17Well, if you escape from the police like that, man, you're looking at a few years in prison.
16:21This Canadian has taken an isotonic drink before going out and is going crazy.
16:28We won't mention the brand because if they want publicity, they should pay for it.
16:38Look, the drink went very well.
16:40It's a shame we can't name the brand, because it would have been a great advertisement.
16:45There are fewer and fewer contestants here and no one invites me to their house.
16:48I swear, by the pink knot I've put on my arm, that I'll get it.
16:52Today I close my vacation, guys.
16:54And there are 36 contestants from around the world who believe in today's Olympics.
16:59And pay attention, because Superman is going to try to pass the Liete you of the vine test.
17:04The new Superman movie is coming out in a few months, but this is just a sneak peek for our viewers.
17:11Well, let's hope the movie isn't as pathetic as this Superman, because if not, how sad!
17:16This American is a fan of fast food.
17:20And of course, whether you like it or not, it shows in your physical form.
17:25If you had hemorrhoids, you now have two problems instead of one.
17:31The good thing about Germans is that they are beasts.
17:34They are super resistant.
17:35Look, not only did this guy not feel any pain, but he was even laughing.
17:40Ha ha, how good!
17:41Canadians speak English and French, but since they don't speak Japanese, they don't understand what the test is about.
17:47It was thought that this was like playing pool bomb, which it was, but you don't win with that, you just make people laugh.
17:53This guy, when he gets hit, gets a little angry, like everyone else, come on!
17:57And another new opportunity for Superman, who I also see as being a bit over-muscled, which might affect his flight.
18:07But Superman wasn't dark-skinned.
18:09Man, he wasn't blond, and he wasn't that dumb either.
18:12And this one comes from the distant lands of Singapore.
18:15Ah, Singapore, Singapore! What a country! What's in Singapore?
18:19Well, some serious clumsy people.
18:22Look how much his shirt is marked.
18:26Singapore's beautiful, isn't it? I could go there for a few days, watch me dry you off, and suck up to you.
18:31It's complicated, there are 20 of us at home, not counting the animals, so you...
18:35Oh, stop cleaning me already, you're making me nervous!
18:37The Swiss, apart from being famous for their money-laundering banks, are also famous for their nerve with respect to evidence.
18:49And after this jerk comes the actress who acts super.
18:57Pay attention to her recital, which leaves Meryl Streep in her element.
19:05You don't have to be a rappeller to know that it was about to happen.
19:08And nothing, the girl continues with her recital.
19:21You're American, aren't you?
19:36From New York.
19:38Oh, New York! My dream is to go to New York. Can I stay at your house this summer? What do you think?
19:43It is not possible.
19:44Are you a man?
19:48Yes, well, but what does it matter?
19:51Nobody is perfect!
19:55And this, really, in terms of sport, is the last chance we give Superman.
20:00He thinks we give him more opportunities because we're cool, but really what we wanted was to laugh at him a few times.
20:07And if he takes off his cape, everyone knows that Superman without a cape can't fly.
20:10Yeah!
20:14Yes, move it, girls!
20:18Spice this up because the duel is coming to the rising sun!
20:23And I don't care, but American cheerleaders put more effort into their choreography than these.
20:28These are a bit cheap, like everything else in this contest.
20:33And Pinky Winky presents the first threat a contestant will have to overcome.
20:36The fearsome never-before-seen 500 euro bill.
20:40Its existence is a legend like that of the Loch Ness monster.
20:46Many people claim to have seen him on occasion, but no one has any evidence to prove it.
20:53The Englishman who is going to face him has no fear of him, because the English don't give a damn about the euro.
20:59And let's remember our email, where you can write to us for whatever you want.
21:04Apart from insulting, of course.
21:06Humoramarillo at 4.com
21:08Let's look at some of the emails.
21:10Javi de Palencia says the show is the greatest thing on TV.
21:15Laura from Pontevedra says she wants a child from us, one of each of us.
21:19And Basile, the boss of Telecinco, sends us an offer to hire us.
21:23And yes, all of these emails are fake, but if you wrote any of them, we wouldn't have to make them up.
21:29And the next bad guy is the Statue of Liberty, who is good, but is possessed by a minion of Takeshi.
21:35Pretty ugly, by the way, and even more clumsy.
21:40Because a national monument is going to be destroyed.
21:46And the Swiss is a little shocked to see the Statue of Liberty running in front of him.
21:51And prepare your eyes for the next opponent, because it is none other than the man who had no trunk.
21:58Only head and very short legs.
22:00And he is a ballroom dancing teacher.
22:05And the American, it's not that he's afraid of it, it's that he slipped because the ground is wet.
22:11Well, the big head launches the attack.
22:16And it's eliminated.
22:18It must have been the fastest elimination in history.
22:20Well, I think Spain's in this program was faster.
22:25And we greet the deadly samurai and his guard dog with screams of terror.
22:29Separately, they are terrible. Together, they are a weapon of mass destruction.
22:33The dog is so well trained that he carries his own gun.
22:37And this Australian contestant is against animal abuse and doesn't want to hurt the dog.
22:49There's no need to hurt him if the two of you are about to kill.
22:53The dog, living up to his motto of being man's best friend, abandons his master.
22:57And then the Australian discovers that it's not a dog, it's a mutant and goes after it.
23:02We don't know which of the two is more pitiful, the master or the owner.
23:09Oh, if Lassie could raise her head.
23:11And now comes the final threat, Pinky Winky himself.
23:24Feared more for his clothing than for his physique, which is insignificant in truth.
23:28He has been given a passionate American, one of those who defend Hollywood cinema as the best in the world.
23:34And he says it's an injustice, that this grandmother is a danger or two, that she's not nominated for the Oscars.
23:40Pinky Winky argues that Japanese cinema is better, especially the cinema of Takeshi Kitano.
23:44What a suck-up this guy is.
23:46And this deadly struggle, between two ways of understanding the seventh art, cannot end well.
23:53Well, the Japanese win, although he's left to take a shower right now.
24:00And we come to the final test, the Nakasone Canyons, which will decide who takes home medals.
24:06And those who get a few bruises, which aren't bad as a consolation prize either, listen.
24:13Look, a Greek!
24:16Let's not make any jokes about this, okay?
24:19No, because all the ones I could think of weren't for children's time.
24:24Notice how, for some strange reason, they are much tougher on the Americans than on the other contestants.
24:29With this girl, it's a ball that comes out of the machine, a ball that she eats.
24:34And in the end they take pity on her and let her fall under her own weight.
24:53Have they hurt you a lot?
24:58My whole body hurts, I am a good American, but good, good, and you are bad people, evil.
25:05Are we bad?
25:06Yeah!
25:07But we haven't done anything to you.
25:09You didn't do anything to me? What a huge bruise!
25:12Go on!
25:14And an Iranian arrives dancing a typical dance from his region.
25:18He arrived in the best mood in the world, but they don't like regional dances here, so they fried him.
25:26But the Iranian doesn't let up and takes the opportunity to greet his family, who are glued to the television following him.
25:33That's what Iranians are like; they never lose their characteristic good humor.
25:39And despite the lynching he is being subjected to, he does not give up and continues forward.
25:43Let's hope this doesn't provoke an international conflict, because that's just what we needed.
26:02This Dane says his ancestors were Vikings, and that this test doesn't scare him at all.
26:09What's this? Are you scared? Here, Viking, here!
26:12You are very brave when you are all on the boat together, but now you are alone.
26:17Here, you're very brave now, aren't you?
26:20You're very conquerors. Here, conquer this and this.
26:25And where are the horns? You left them at home. Here, horns.
26:28He's not as brave as he was at the beginning. Come on, the final touch!
26:34Wow! Off to Denmark to get cold!
26:39He's English, and before coming here he had a few pints, which he says he's in control of, but judging by the way the bridge is moving, he's gone too far.
26:45The English just don't know how to drink. They stick to blondes, brunettes, and black women, which are all very well, but they take their toll later.
26:56He's the coolest German in the country. See why.
26:59Inciting someone to throw you down is almost like signing a death warrant.
27:06And apart from having his pants ripped, they're about to break other things, like his head.
27:11Because to provoke us, well, now they're just going to shoot at the head.
27:15And when they aim for the head, these launchers hit the head.
27:20And although he'll have to take a few Nurofen, the cool German has managed to do it and has passed the test.
27:33What we should do now is hit him with another ball, while they celebrate, so he'll calm down.
27:42This Canadian is trying to have children, so he's protecting his private parts.
27:47And it reveals other very important ones.
27:50And with the most exciting story of the day, that of the German who lost his head, we come to the end of this test.
28:02And now, to end the Olympics in style, we're going with a musical performance.
28:09You told me you were going to give us a Olympics award, right?
28:13Let's see what it's like. It sounds like a lot of fun to me. Come on, all yours.
28:16And here come the winners of the Yellow Humor Olympics.
28:35Yes, except for Spaniards, I think there are some from all countries.
28:39And now, if they really want to win a medal, they should go to the Olympics, because here the only thing we give them is a push to get them off the plate.
28:45Yes, it's already nighttime, and we've been working here all day.
28:48And in the next episode of Humor Amarillo, the test you've all been waiting for.
28:53Dolphins vs. sharks, with a pirate ship in the background.
28:56It's like the Pirates of the Caribbean movie, but instead of Johnny Depp, it's Takeshi Kitano.
29:02And now we have a mission. We want to find the Spanish contestants on Humor Amarillo.
29:07Yes, if you're one of them or know them, send us an email at humoramarillo.com.
29:13And we have an interview, of course!
29:15That will be an interview, not what Quintero does with Ricitas.
29:19And now the end of the program has arrived.
29:21You can see on your screens the faces of everyone who has participated in these Olympics.
29:25Look at them, because there are some who never had a face again after this.
29:30And there you can see their names and next to them the bones they broke on the show.
29:34Look, 24. Damn, we were lucky, we got some bandages and went home.
29:37And now all that's left for us to say is, see you later!
29:40Or as they say in Japanese, meet me at that bar on the corner, okay?
29:48Or as they say in Japanese, see you later!
Recomendada
29:31
|
Próximamente
29:40
29:03
30:07
29:52
29:47
29:52
29:27
29:34
29:50
30:22
29:29
29:41
30:07
29:55
30:02
29:37
39:42
30:03
29:28
29:47
29:47
29:59
29:47
30:00
Sé la primera persona en añadir un comentario