- 5 months ago
The misadventures of a British Royal Artillery Concert Party unit stationed in based in Deolali in British India and the fictional village of Tin Min in Burma during the last few months of the Second World War.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:09With music and laughter to help you on your way, to raising the rafters with a hey, hey, hey.
00:16With songs and sketches and jokes old and new, with us about you and Phil Blue.
00:21So meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:26B-O-B-O-Y-S, boys to entertain you.
00:42You know, we British are very fine people.
00:45Oh, golly, yes.
00:47We are loyal, oh, yes, and brave and honest.
00:50Oh, golly, gumdots, yes.
00:52And who I'm asking you is most loyal, most brave and most honest?
00:56You're not knowing?
00:57I'm telling you, it is the British officer.
01:00Oh, yes, indeed, God save the king.
01:03You can trust the British officer through thick and thin altogether very nearly.
01:08Do you know why?
01:10Because they are taught at mummy's knee not to look with sexy eyes at other man's wife.
01:15Oh, blimey, yes.
01:18They are taught when they are tiny like this.
01:21And that is why they forget.
01:23Colonel Sarr.
01:25Colonel Sarr has been looking at sexy eyes with Mrs. Waddle of Evans.
01:29She is wife of Major Waddle of Evans.
01:31And she has been looking at Colonel Sarr with sexy eyes.
01:34It is a terrible sight to behold.
01:36And I've overheard it said in officer's mess that if they are ever discovered,
01:41they will suffer the most awful punishment.
01:44They will be drummed out of the brownies.
01:48What are seven nines?
01:50Beg your pardon?
01:51What are seven nines?
01:53Hang on a minute.
01:5763, sir.
01:59I beg your pardon?
02:0063, sir.
02:02Yes, of course I beg your pardon.
02:05Thanks, Hortley.
02:06You know, I sometimes think you ought to be the adjutant
02:08and I ought to be the battery sergeant major.
02:27Don't go, Battered.
02:30Good shot, sir.
02:32It's not a good shot at all.
02:34You squashed it all over my new saint book.
02:37Look, it's right on his halo.
02:39I'm sorry, Hortley.
02:40Looks like he's wearing a Busby, sir.
02:43I don't think it's very funny.
02:46Got a signal here, sir, from a royal artillery troop in Kohat.
02:49They've heard about our concert party
02:51and wants to know if we can give them a show.
02:52Where in Escoat?
02:53North West Frontier, sir.
02:54I don't want to trade up the North West Frontier, do you, Hortley?
02:57Do they have a lot of flies?
02:58Plenty, sir.
02:59In that case, no.
03:01Push in the Wastepad Basketball room.
03:05Get out!
03:08Nazi door!
03:10Come in!
03:12What do you want, Beryl?
03:13Sergeant Major Sarb.
03:14Ma'am Sarb, what enough evidence to see Colonel Sarb.
03:19What are you doing?
03:21This is Wink, Sergeant Major Sarb.
03:22You see, Sergeant Major Sarb, I cannot close right eye and keep left eye open.
03:28So if I do not put hand over left eye, Sarb, I do this.
03:32And this is not Wink, Sarb.
03:33This is Blink.
03:35Shut up.
03:35Mrs. Waddy Love Heavens would like a word with you.
03:38That is totally correct, Colonel Sarb.
03:39Ask her to come in, will you?
03:41I say, Colonel Sarb.
03:43Men's up Waddy Love Heavens!
03:45Colonel Sarb, most pleased to see you!
03:50Men's up Waddy Love Heavens, Colonel Sarb.
03:52Get out!
03:53Hello, Mrs. Waddy Love Heavens.
03:57Morning, Colonel.
03:58What brings you here?
04:00The camp library.
04:02I was changing the books.
04:03Ah, yes, yes.
04:05Very small, the camp library.
04:20The lady would like to see you alone.
04:24I'll make myself scarce, sir.
04:31I'm not in the way, am I?
04:34Yes, I am.
04:36I'll go and inspect something.
04:41Daphne!
04:42Charles!
04:43Ah!
04:46Bite my ear, Charles.
04:49Not here, somebody would see.
04:51Oh, I don't care.
04:52My husband never bites my ear, and it sends tingles all over my body.
04:56Does it, really?
04:58Good Lord.
04:58Charles, he's found out.
05:10What, about your ears?
05:11About us.
05:13He's coming back from the Punjab.
05:15He arrives day after tomorrow.
05:16I say, that's a bit off, isn't it?
05:18Don't leave me, Charles.
05:18No, no, no, of course not, but what are we going to do?
05:21Let's have it out.
05:24In front of him, cards on the table, eyeball to eyeball.
05:28I don't like the sound of that.
05:29That's the only way, Charles.
05:30Couldn't we write him a letter or something?
05:31Oh, we must be strong.
05:34I must go now, but we must be strong.
05:37Yes, of course.
05:37Oh!
05:38Mmm.
05:39Mmm.
05:40Oh, don't leave me, Charles.
05:43Don't ever leave me.
05:45Promise you won't ever, ever leave me.
05:47No, no, of course not.
05:48Goodbye.
05:49Sergeant Major, Ashford.
05:54Yes, sir.
05:54Yes, sir.
05:57I've been thinking about those chaps in Kohat.
06:00I mean, they're just as important as anybody else.
06:03Let's go up there and give them a shower, shall we?
06:05Oh, what a mouth.
06:08I feel it everywhere.
06:11Oh, this is bloody murder, isn't it?
06:23At least you've got something to hang on to.
06:25Colonel, sir.
06:26Men, sir, Waddle of Evans, a fine, upstanding white lady,
06:30is now looking very green.
06:33It's the motion of the vehicle.
06:35You all right, Daphne?
06:36I'm grinning and bearing it, Charles.
06:39She's not doing much grinning.
06:41Shut up!
06:43I know it's none of my business,
06:44but what's she doing here with us?
06:46It's perfectly simple and proper.
06:48She's in welfare, you know.
06:49There's a bigwig in libraries and that sort of thing.
06:52Yes, sir.
06:53I mean, why is she coming on a visit
06:54to a royal artillery group in co-op with us?
06:57She's going to change their books.
06:59We've only got one book in our house.
07:01It's the rent book.
07:04Gunners shut down.
07:05King's regulations clearly state
07:06that gunners will not join in conversation
07:08with officers and warrant officers.
07:10So shut up!
07:11Charles, I'm going to be Icky-poo.
07:15Icky-poo, oh good heaven, stop the truck!
07:18Stop that truck!
07:19Now look here, gunner, gunner...
07:32Clark, sir.
07:32Now look here, gunner, Clark.
07:33Can't you drive this damn thing more evenly?
07:35Yes, you have no idea what it's like back there.
07:37You're making Mrs. Waddle of Evans feel Icky-poo.
07:40That means I'm making me feel Icky-poo too.
07:42Sorry, sir, but it's the bumps and the potholes, you see.
07:45It's jiggling the wheel that does it.
07:47I have to see why you have to jiggle the wheel.
07:48Sir, to avoid the potholes, he has to jiggle the wheel.
07:51No, jiggle the wheel, jiggle the wheel.
07:54I say, Sergeant Major,
07:55you're not supposed to impersonate me, you know.
07:57I quite agree.
07:58Stop impersonating Captain Ashford, Sergeant Major.
08:00But I was not impersonating Captain Ashford, sir.
08:02I was doing gunner, Graham.
08:03Oh, I see.
08:03Well, they are a bit similar, I suppose.
08:05Come on, dear.
08:08Charlotte!
08:09Charlotte!
08:10You've been flung about too much, Charles.
08:11I never could stomach being flung about.
08:13I've always seen the same,
08:14even at hunt balls with the lancers.
08:16Yes, those regular soldiers are rough lot.
08:18I think madam is referring to a dance called the lancers, sir.
08:21I could awfully mix stuff in that.
08:24Listen, Daphne,
08:24I've told our driver to do the best he can,
08:26but there's bound to be more jiggling.
08:28Colonel, sir,
08:28one time I was bearer to Captain Ludlow-Stuart.
08:33He was a very rich man,
08:34and in his bungalow,
08:36he had one beautiful Chinese vase
08:37made by Mr. Ming, sir.
08:39One day, sir,
08:40we moved from Puna to Simula,
08:43and we put vase in tea chest
08:45packed round tight on every side.
08:48Now, sir,
08:48this vase made by Mr. Ming, sir,
08:51never break
08:51until one day,
08:53ma'am, sir,
08:54Ludlow-Stuart
08:55threw it,
08:56and Captain Ludlow-Stuart
08:58when she found him
08:59was half-chat lady
09:00from Deradool.
09:02Shut up!
09:04Where are we going to find
09:06a big fat tea chest?
09:07One more word from you
09:08Gunnar Sugden
09:09who spends the next 90 days
09:10in the Glass Heights!
09:11What we have to do
09:11is to pack Mrs. Waddylove-Evans
09:13tightly on all sides
09:14to stop her wafting about so much.
09:16However does you mean, sir?
09:17Well, suppose we're in the moray,
09:20and I'm seated here.
09:23Now, I can stop you
09:24wafting this way,
09:25can't I?
09:26As long as you grasp me firmly, Charles.
09:30If I could stop Mrs. Waddylove-Evans
09:32wafting this way, sir.
09:34If I went waft that way,
09:35the Sergeant Major
09:36has a wonderfully firm grip.
09:37Ah, well, in that case,
09:38we mustn't waste him.
09:39Bombardier,
09:40you get that, sir, will it?
09:41Oh, yes, sir.
09:43Give me five.
09:46Now, we want someone in front,
09:51not too tall.
09:52To the front.
09:54Move yourself, move yourself!
09:58Now, we want someone in half.
10:00How about me, sir?
10:01Not you, that one.
10:01Not you, Sergeant Major.
10:03Get a parking.
10:04To the rear-off, Mrs. Waddylove-Evans.
10:06Move yourself, move yourself!
10:07Good.
10:07Mr. Waddylove-Evans is grinning
10:10and baring it jolly well,
10:12Colonel Farr.
10:13You get hold of me.
10:15Right.
10:16Sergeant Major,
10:16you get hold of the Bombardier.
10:20Let's try some jiddling.
10:30How much further have we got to go?
10:31135 miles, sir.
10:34And 135 miles
10:35with all us men
10:36pressed up against you
10:37could you, Daphne?
10:38I think I could steal myself, Charles.
10:40Daphne, you're a brick.
10:42But we'd never get there
10:43before dark, will we?
10:44I reckon about 50 miles
10:45of that is all any of us
10:46could stand for.
10:48I quite agree.
10:50Shut up!
10:52Excuse me, sir.
10:53There's a place called
10:53Fort Cabot
10:54about 46 miles further on.
10:56Right, we'll make for there.
10:57Right!
10:58Mount up and start!
10:59On the track!
11:00On the track!
11:00On the track!
11:00On the track!
11:00I'm not jiggling,
11:13Paris.
11:13Do witness.
11:14I'm not jiggling honest.
11:16How are you getting on, Daphne?
11:17Well, it helps a great deal
11:19having something else
11:20to think about.
11:22Hello!
11:23What's that?
11:24On the skyline.
11:26It looks like a caravan.
11:28I can only see
11:28three donkeys
11:29and a big white horse.
11:31I'll tell the colonel.
11:32Excuse me, sir.
11:36There's a small caravan ahead.
11:38They don't have gypsies
11:39on the northwest front,
11:40do they, sir?
11:41Don't be quiet, Ashwood.
11:43What do you make of it,
11:43Sergeant Meadow?
11:45Anybody see if they're home?
11:47My glasses are steamed up.
11:49Shut up!
11:51Look, to be on the safe side,
11:53I think we should turn around.
11:54Stop the truck!
11:55Stop the truck!
11:57Stop the truck!
11:58Shut up!
11:59Shut up!
12:02Right, now,
12:03there's absolutely nothing
12:04to worry about.
12:05They're probably friendly.
12:06But guns are!
12:07They have guns
12:08with big, lumped barrels.
12:10On the other hand,
12:10they may not be friendly,
12:11so we'd better be rather careful.
12:13McIntosh, Evans!
12:14What?
12:15Keep them covered.
12:16Dismount!
12:24Beg pardon, sir.
12:26I think we should hide the woman.
12:27What woman?
12:28Mrs. Wallylove, Evans, sir.
12:31Try some of my good ideas.
12:32What sort of ideas?
12:34You know, sir.
12:35Hmm?
12:36Ooh.
12:38That's a thing, isn't it?
12:40Daphne, you'd better hide.
12:42Those tribesmen might get ideas.
12:44I don't mind them getting ideas.
12:46I do.
12:48Best place safe, sir.
12:49Them tribesmen get a look in their eyes.
12:50There's no old in them.
12:51She'd better get under the tarpaulium.
12:53Yes, get under the, um,
12:55that.
12:55Salaam!
13:03Good afternoon!
13:05They were there to find out who they are
13:07and what they're doing.
13:08Right, bearer.
13:08You heard what the colonel said.
13:10Borrow them, tis wasty.
13:11Okay, sir.
13:12Thank you, sir.
13:12Hey!
13:13You guys are doing what they are doing here, huh?
13:16We are people who are people.
13:18Your colonel, sir, looks very beautiful and beautiful.
13:21We have to buy a bag.
13:24Colonel, sir, you say they are trading people
13:25and that you are very handsome and brave.
13:29Can you buy your rifles?
13:32Come officer, they're not for sale.
13:33I am sorry.
13:39I couldn't stand that Richard dust a moment longer.
13:48Danny, get down!
13:50It's too late, girls, sir.
13:51They have already seen, ma'am, sir.
13:53What'll have happened?
13:55They just get an idea, sir.
13:58How can you tell?
13:59Is it the look in their eyes?
14:00Not entirely, sir.
14:03Colonel, sir, you say he wished to buy the woman.
14:08I'm sorry, we British don't do that sort of thing.
14:11Tell him to go about his business.
14:12What's the colonel, sir?
14:13I'm British locally.
14:16I'm British locally.
14:20Beg your pardon, sir.
14:22I reckon they could be smugglers carrying contretons.
14:24Sergeant Major, sir, is totally correct.
14:26There is much smuggling in these passes
14:28and they also do the running of the guns, sir.
14:30I reckon we should search their baggage, sir.
14:32What do you think, Ashwood?
14:34Well, I think it's going a bit far, you know.
14:36After all, it is their private property.
14:38With respect, sir, it's hardly their private property
14:41if they pinched it from us in the first place.
14:43Quite. Search the baggage.
14:45Right. Cover them.
14:46Bearer, tell them what we're doing.
14:47I'll tell them to meet us up.
14:48Hey!
14:51What do you say, Bearer?
14:57He say...
14:58There's only quite a bit of...
15:02Oh, dear.
15:05Sir.
15:05Search their baggage.
15:06What, me?
15:07Yes, you, yes, you.
15:08Search them saddlebags.
15:09But there might be all sorts of things in them.
15:11That's just exactly why you is going to look.
15:14Graham, give me a hand.
15:15Yes, Sergeant Major.
15:16Excuse me.
15:21The Sergeant Major
15:22says I have to have a little ferret in your portmanteau.
15:34Here.
15:35What's this?
15:36Oh, sir, that is most precious.
15:38That is 100 years old egg.
15:40100 years old?
15:41It's a great delicacy with the Chinese.
15:43Be careful you're not dropping it, sir.
15:44Ask him what else he's got in here.
15:50Achah, sir.
15:51Eh, usmen rao ke hai?
15:53Ismen thoda sona, ood, or thodi jari-booti hai.
15:56Achah, sir.
15:57Sir, he say you have a little gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
16:01He's a bit late, isn't he?
16:05Here.
16:06What's this?
16:06What have you found, Baba, dear?
16:08That is powdered rhinoceros horn, Sergeant Major, sir.
16:11Powdered rhinoceros horn?
16:12What on earth do they do with that?
16:13Well, uh, they do say it's very, uh, efficacious, sir.
16:19No, sir.
16:20Sir, you put it in tea and make you feel, oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
16:25Sergeant Major, what about this lot over here?
16:28He has found a load of books, sir.
16:30He is a very alert soldier.
16:32Put him back in the parking.
16:34We are not concerned with books today.
16:36They're pretty hot stuff, sir.
16:37There's pictures of men and girls with nothing on.
16:39Show me, boy.
16:40Holy muckerel.
16:46Can I park in this room?
16:48One, uh, guard, uh, Mrs. Waddy Love Heavens, sir.
16:51Yes, sir.
16:54Disgusting.
16:55Let's have a look.
16:56It's the end.
16:56Yes, quite right.
17:00I mean, a chap must have a pretty poor opinion of his wife to allow that sort of thing.
17:06Well, maybe they is not married, sir.
17:08Oh, come on.
17:10There are limits, you know.
17:11I think you can't find these, sir.
17:13Quite right, sir.
17:13We can't have these falling into the wrong hands.
17:15Well, the fellow will keep these, and they better get cracking and be on their way.
17:19Okay, Colonel-saab.
17:20Let's go.
17:20This book is for us.
17:22You will have to know how long it will be.
17:25My husband will be my bestie.
17:28Colonel-saab, he's very angry.
17:30Say that you make him lose his face before his men.
17:33And he say he will have the revenge, even if it takes up to 1,000 years.
17:41What do you think, Ashwood?
17:42It seems an awfully long time.
17:44Well, there he is going, sir.
17:49Just as well.
17:50I don't like to be spoken to like that.
17:51I think we should be moving, too, sir.
17:53Yes.
17:54We'll never be in Fort Kibbutt before dark at this rate.
17:57All right.
17:57Let's go.
17:58Night!
17:59This is a lovely way to spend an evening.
18:09Miss Mark!
18:11I know you came from that truck!
18:12I say, we're not staying here the night, are we?
18:21It doesn't look very cozy.
18:23I was expecting a proper outpost with an officer's mess and a flagpole.
18:27Gunna Graham!
18:29Over your at least of health!
18:34Shut up!
18:37I see you, Mr. Lardy-Dargonne Graham, you said that this was a fort.
18:42You did not say that it was a deserted fort.
18:45I should have thought they'd have told you the difference before they let you graticulate
18:48from that university.
18:49I'm terribly sorry, Sergeant Major.
18:50No, I'm terribly sorry, Sergeant Major.
18:52Why don't we go on to our destination?
18:54Put up!
18:54Do not go on the road tonight.
18:56Very soon it will be dark with shiny full moon, and the naughty pataons will come out with
19:00their rifles and take potty shops at us, British.
19:02The bearer's quite right, sir.
19:04I think we should post sentries and keep you of the night.
19:06Oh, drat.
19:07Warm pink gin again.
19:10Nevertheless, we do as the Sergeant Major suggests.
19:12Can I have a word with you a minute, sir?
19:14Yes, yes, of course.
19:15We've got just one problem by here, sir.
19:18A Mrs. Waddy-Love-Heavens.
19:19Oh?
19:20Why is she a problem?
19:21Well, sir, so many men have seen them books, and, well, I know I is always referring to
19:26them as a shower of poofs, but, uh, heaven-o, sir, one or two of them might be a bit, uh...
19:31Yes, sir, I do understand.
19:34What do you suggest?
19:36Well, sir, we'll have two men guarding the rampants, and, uh, one guarding Mrs. Waddy-Love-Heavens.
19:41And I'll find her a place to sleep, sir, which gives her a little bit of privation.
19:45Yes.
19:46Good, uh, do that, will you?
19:47She can sleep in that cubbyhole thing over there, and we'll use this one over here.
19:52Good, sir, and I'll, uh, stick something up in front of both particles.
19:57Come here, Paumont!
19:59Dr. Major.
19:59Well, over here, that looks sharp and dark soon!
20:01You got a clock?
20:02Sir!
20:02Get a fire started!
20:03Get cracking!
20:05Yes, sir!
20:05Now, Pommadier, I got a little job for you what is right up your street.
20:22Tell me, what is on the menu tonight, Mohammed?
20:24Ah-ha!
20:25A very special curried goat and chapati ranghi.
20:29Ah-ha!
20:30You know, you know, it is amazing that after many years in India, we British become very fond of Indian food.
20:38Hey, Bombadier, you mind the donkeys we saw on the road a while back?
20:42Yes?
20:43I could eat one of them right now between two slices of bread.
20:47I wish I wasn't so artistic and sensitive, I wish I was more sort of basic and earthy like you.
20:55I mean, a couple of slices of donkey in one of them dirty books, you're in paradise, aren't you?
20:59Oh, don't go as that!
21:01Yes, don't go as that!
21:02All right, sweetie.
21:04I'm going to Clark and me as parole the perimeter and 200 yards beyond.
21:07It was exciting, wasn't it, Sergeant Major?
21:12It's all clear, but there's plenty of cover, so keep your eyes skinned.
21:15Ah.
21:16Now, Pommadier, have you curnted off the officer's quarters and them of Mrs. Waddy-Love-Heavens?
21:20Well, the, uh, the curtaining didn't quite work out right, so, uh, I improvised.
21:25Would you like to have a look?
21:27Ha-ha-ha!
21:34What did we say to you got?
21:37It's the middle piece of my mini-ha-ha scene.
21:41It's my teepee.
21:44Here it is, Aramita.
21:45I've got the Jane Ashwood.
21:46Yes, sir, here it is.
21:47I expect Mrs. Waddy-Love-Heavens would like us slaughter.
21:51Uh, present our compliments, will you, and ask her if she would care to join us?
21:54Oh, she's over here.
22:02We need to grab a new production number.
22:05There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
22:06She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
22:09Jiski baat kar rahein, Gloria sahab, uska naam hain, Mame sahab, Pudding Club.
22:14Shut up!
22:15If you've not heard the end of this bombardier, is she in there?
22:19Knock and see.
22:22Oh, dear.
22:24Good evening, Sergeant Major.
22:26Evening, ma'am.
22:27The Colonel's compliments, and he would like you to join him and Captain Ashwood for, uh...
22:30For a snooter.
22:31Shut up!
22:32That's what a delicious idea.
22:41Do sit down, Daphne.
22:45Oh, silly me.
22:47I wonder, would you mind getting something out of my shoe?
22:50Yes, certainly.
22:54That one, foolish boy.
22:55That one.
22:58Frightfully sorry.
22:59It's, uh, my scarf.
23:01It's, uh, on the truck.
23:02Oh, absolutely first class.
23:06Charles!
23:07Don't!
23:07I just had to see you alone.
23:09I can't bear to be without you tonight.
23:11You can't come into my wigwam.
23:15Couldn't you sneak into my shoe?
23:18Too risky.
23:19Someone might see.
23:20Let's meet at midnight on the ramparts.
23:22He's coming back.
23:23Don't forget, Charles.
23:24The ramparts.
23:25Midnight.
23:25The ramparts.
23:26Midnight.
23:26Moonlight becomes you.
23:32It goes with your hair.
23:43Yeah.
23:44Eerie though, innit?
23:45Yeah.
23:46And chilly.
23:47I don't know whether I'm cold or scared.
23:50Whatever is you wearing at a parking lot?
23:54It's not a flatly get an allen coat.
23:56I only had one, great coat, Sergeant Major.
23:59Oh, then.
24:00Keep your eyes skinned.
24:01You can never trust them patans.
24:03Not for a second.
24:14Isn't it romantic?
24:15The stars, the moon, the mountains and us.
24:19Yes.
24:20And all our cares left behind in dear lulley.
24:23When my husband finds you, he's going to horsewhip you.
24:26Is he?
24:29How tall is he?
24:31Let's not think about that.
24:32No, don't let's.
24:34It's so wild and savage and primitive here.
24:36It makes me feel wild and savage and primitive.
24:39Does it make you feel wild and savage and primitive?
24:42Up to a point, yes.
24:45Show me.
24:45Now, I tell you what, I've got a flask of whiskey in my haversack.
24:50Let's share that and then we can really let it rip.
24:53We'll really let it rip.
24:55Don't go away.
24:56Be careful, come back.
25:05Come back.
25:06Hey, how are you?
25:09Come back.
25:10Come back.
25:10Good morning.
25:11Good morning.
25:11Desmondo is so weird.
25:12No worries.
25:13Not bad.
25:13Are you all right sir? Yes, so far. Anything I can do? No, I don't think so. Yes, go to sleep.
25:34Beth! Did you hear anything? No, nothing, Sergeant Major. Go and patrol the other side. Yes, if you say so.
26:04Don't turn round. You look just as you did the first night we met. Remember, it was that ball
26:27a government house. And you slipped out onto the roof garden to look at the moon. And I
26:36chased you over the roof. And we both fell through the fanlight. Darling, you look so damned attractive
26:48standing there with the fanlight in your hair. Daphne, look at me.
26:57Look at me, Daphne.
27:04Rather not true.
27:10Where's Daphne?
27:15Pearls up! Pearls up! One of the above and say he has seen two figures running.
27:19Shall I go after him, Sergeant? No! Might be a trap! It's Daphne! Daphne! Daphne!
27:24Daphne! Daphne! Shut up! Daphne! Daphne! Daphne!
27:31Excuse me, sir. Mrs. Wadilove Evans isn't in her shoe, sir.
27:35I think it was dragging somebody. She's been kidnapped.
27:39She's now. Stereoics. How could I be stereoics?
27:41How can I be steady on? It's the woman I love!
27:43Daphne! Daphne!
27:48Don't touch it!
27:49Don't touch it! Don't touch it!
27:51You see, when they take prisoner,
27:53the batons have a habit which is very nasty.
27:57They cut off head.
27:59Not Daphne. They couldn't do it.
28:01A swine.
28:03There's only one way to find out.
28:05Somebody must open that sack.
28:11Don't touch it.
28:17Donna Sugden.
28:19Sergeant Major.
28:21Open that sack.
28:23Me?
28:24That's you!
28:31Oh, dear me.
28:33What is in the sack, huh?
28:35Is it what we all hope it is not?
28:37A piece of Mrs Waddylove Evans?
28:39If so, which piece?
28:41If not, will the Colonel Saab
28:43and us brave men rescue her?
28:45In order to find out the answer to this
28:47and many other puzzlements,
28:49watch and look out
28:51for next week's Thrilling in Starly Men.
28:53APPLAUSE
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