- 6 months ago
The misadventures of a British Royal Artillery Concert Party unit stationed in based in Deolali in British India and the fictional village of Tin Min in Burma during the last few months of the Second World War.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:09With music and laughter to help you on your way, to raising the rafters with a hey, hey, hey.
00:15With songs and sketches and jokes on anew, with us about you and Phil Blue.
00:21So meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:26Oh, meet the gang, cos the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
00:48With the music and laughter to help you on your way, you're looking very glum today.
00:54What's the matter with you, Ranji?
00:56Oh, everything has gone wrong this morning.
00:59It is what we British say, being one of those days.
01:05Top of that, Dobe Waller was late with clean clothes.
01:09I said to him, Dobe Waller, you're a dumb fool.
01:12Because I am a very important man.
01:15I am bearer to Royal Artillery Council Party.
01:18Jeho.
01:18Huh?
01:19How can I go to work on dirty duty?
01:21What do you think I am, some damn native or something?
01:28Top of that, look how he sends my dirty back.
01:31It is grey.
01:32Oh, crap.
01:33Huh?
01:33Man in my position should go to work on sparkling white dirty.
01:37Jeho.
01:37I say to him, Dobe Waller, why are you not keeping up with times?
01:43Why are you bashing washing against rock?
01:47Why are you not using soap powder?
01:49And what did the Dobe Waller say?
01:51He say he have not enough soap powder to fill up river.
01:54Oh, my God, look at the time.
01:59I have imparted Chichi to deliver to Colonel, sir.
02:01I charge our war.
02:02There you go.
02:04I hope Sergeant Major, sir, is in good mood.
02:08Salam.
02:09Wait outside, shall I be goodnight?
02:11Is Sergeant Major, sir, in a good mood?
02:13I had not time to find out.
02:17Do you really think we should send the concert party on a jungle survival course, Sergeant Major?
02:21Oh, yes, sir.
02:22I mean, it's not fair to them boys.
02:23They're not fit.
02:24I mean, if they were supported up the jungle, I shudder to think what would happen to them.
02:27Yes, you've got a point there, Sergeant Major.
02:29But what about the show, sir?
02:31They're putting in a new song.
02:32Gun of Beaumont is doing South American Joe, dressed up as Carmen Miranda.
02:38South American Jerry?
02:39What do you think of that, Sergeant Major?
02:40I don't trust them diggles, sir.
02:43It won't hurt to cancel the show for a few days, I suppose.
02:47All right, Sergeant Major, later on, will you?
02:49Thank you very much, sir.
02:53Oh, and take Gunnar Parkins along with you.
02:57He's looking very pale, being in the office all day.
03:00He's got a lot of work to do, sir.
03:01Yes, I know.
03:03Excuse me, sir.
03:04I'd like to go on a jungle survival course.
03:06I've never been in the jungle.
03:09Were you really, boy?
03:12Yes, Sergeant Major, ever so much.
03:14That's what I'd like to see, sir, keen there, sir.
03:17Yes, he's very keen.
03:19We'd come along as well, but we're rather busy at the moment.
03:21See if you can get out of that, will you?
03:24Well, I've got some work to do, sir.
03:26Going to Parkins?
03:27Get your dad on.
03:28Come with me.
03:29Yes, Sergeant Major.
03:35Parkins?
03:36Sir?
03:38Shoulders back, boy.
03:40Fine pair of shoulders you've got there, sure.
03:41I'm often, sure.
03:44MC is like him and the backbone of the British Army.
03:47And he looks after that young Gunnard Parkins, just like a father.
03:51Come in.
03:54Salaam, Captain Saab.
03:55I have one duty for Colonel Saab.
03:57Well, who's it from, Baron?
03:59Major Waddy Love Evans, Colonel Saab.
04:01Who on earth's Major Waddy Love Evans?
04:03Oh, nobody very much.
04:05Just the husband of the lady who happened to be on leave in the hills at the same time as I was.
04:09Oh.
04:11He got a good chair.
04:12Yes, he was.
04:15He came to see you this morning, Saab.
04:17Very red in face and kicking ground.
04:20And when he found you were not here, Saab, he left you to this chitti and he went away, still kicking ground.
04:26And he was very dusty, Saab.
04:28He says he'll be here to see me the day after tomorrow.
04:44Is anything the matter, Saab?
04:47No, no, no, no, no, he just wants me to explain one or two things.
04:59Where is this place, Sir Sergeant Major's taking the concert party?
05:04It's here, sir.
05:07About 60 miles away.
05:09Yes, well, I think we ought to go along as well, you know.
05:11I mean, getting very soft a few days in the jungle would do us good.
05:15Lay it on, will you, Ash?
05:16On the road to the village, where the flying fishes play, and the don't run.
05:30Sir Major?
05:34What?
05:35I have a horrid feeling that we're being watched.
05:39Don't be stupid. Who's watching us?
05:42We're the only ones here.
05:52Spot more Angus, George?
05:53Yes, thank you.
05:54I'm sure you.
05:56Sorry it was in the ice.
05:57Can't be helped.
05:59Won't hurt us to rough it once in a while.
06:01Perhaps he was got off all right.
06:03Yes, yes, he couldn't be in better hands.
06:05Sergeant Major did two years in Burma.
06:07He knows all there is to know about jungle survival.
06:10Sir, I realise he's jolly brave all that.
06:12He's not awfully good at math reading.
06:14They'll be all right.
06:16Why did we bring all these kids on?
06:18Well, no point in dragging our feet around the jungle, getting them wet.
06:22So I made arrangements to spend a few days with the district commissioner, Hope Thompson.
06:27He's got a bungalow a couple of miles away.
06:30He's a bit of a little stickler.
06:31Who'd I think of like him?
06:36No, it's all right, sir.
06:42Right then, lovely boys.
06:44Now, during the next three days, I am going to teach you how to survive in a jungle.
06:48Of course, sir, Bomber Deer Solomons, Gunners Beaumont and Evans have already served in a jungle.
06:54We've only got to have a sack of rations and one bottle of water each.
06:56It's not going to last very long, is it?
06:59We are going to live off the land.
07:02I'm going to show you how to get food and water out of the jungle.
07:07It won't be very nice, but you will survive.
07:10All right?
07:12You're on your own now, lovely boys.
07:15There's no charwaters with tea and cakes around here.
07:23How will I?
07:25Oh, shut up.
07:26Stop rattling that damn charmer.
07:29Sorry, we just haven't heard us.
07:35Hot!
07:35All right, fall out for a smoke.
07:41Get a parking?
07:42Sir?
07:44You come with me.
07:46I'm going to find out how deep that river is.
07:49Sir?
07:50Here.
07:51What are we going to do, Solly?
07:53I mean, I can't put up with three days of this, you know.
07:56Don't you worry, sunshine.
07:58I've got a nice little surprise laid on for our friend Sergeant Major Sharrat.
08:01Oh.
08:01Everything is ready.
08:07Good, good.
08:09Wait till he gets in the middle of the river.
08:11He gets up.
08:15Right, lovely boys.
08:17Now you're going to get your first taste of crossing a jungle river.
08:22And a moment.
08:23You first.
08:25What about the crocodiles?
08:30Don't talk rubbish.
08:31There's no crocodiles about here.
08:33Follow me.
08:37Childy, childy.
08:39Come on.
08:39Quickly.
08:40Unwrap it.
08:44Oh, what clever fellow Solomon Saab is.
08:46It's just journey lifelike, isn't it?
08:48This is a masterpiece.
08:50Come on, get in.
08:51No, no, no.
08:52I won't go to the water.
08:52I won't go to the water.
08:53I'll do it.
08:54What do you want to do?
08:55Don't be serious.
08:56Don't be serious.
08:56Don't be serious.
08:56Don't be serious.
08:58Don't be serious.
08:58Don't be serious.
08:59Don't be serious.
09:00If I didn't catch pneumonia, then I'll take a crocodile.
09:04Oh, what a dummy rat.
09:06If there were real crocodiles in water, but Solomon Saab would go to the problem of making dummy one.
09:11Come on.
09:11Get in.
09:12Quickly.
09:12Tell the egged on the job.
09:25Sergeant Major, how do you know there aren't any crocodiles in the river?
09:29How do you know there aren't any crocodiles in the river?
09:31How do you know there aren't any crocodiles in the river?
09:32How do you know that I know?
09:33I know.
09:34Mr. Lardy-Dar Gunner Graham, because I cross more jungle rivers than you've had hot dinners.
09:38Who's going first?
09:40I don't mind volunteering to go across first, Sergeant Major.
09:43Hear that?
09:44He's the only one with any guts amongst you.
09:46Stay where you are, lovely boy.
09:48I'll go across first.
09:49Show you weak-kneed Nazi boys what it's like to be a real soldier.
09:53Sergeant Major Saab in the river.
09:54Oh, what the poor wheeze.
09:55Solomon Saab is such a juking fellow.
09:56Come on.
09:57Give it one big push.
09:58Come on.
09:59Come on.
10:00We haven't got all day.
10:01Look out, Sergeant Major.
10:02Come on, Sergeant Major.
10:06Come on.
10:18Come on, Sergeant Major.
10:21Come on.
10:22Come on.
10:23Come on.
10:24Come on.
10:25Come on, Sergeant Major.
10:26Come on.
10:27Come on.
10:28You.
10:29Play tricks on me, would you?
10:30Me.
10:31Me.
10:32Right.
10:33Right.
10:34Right.
10:35Take out your armistice, Sergeant Major.
10:36I heard my own.
10:37Move it.
10:38Come on.
10:39Come on.
10:40Come on.
10:41Come on.
10:42Come on.
10:43Come on.
10:44Come on.
10:45Come on.
10:46Come on.
10:47Let's have you.
10:48Now throw them in the river.
10:50Come on.
10:51Now throw them in the water.
10:52Come on.
11:00See how you like going at me, for starters.
11:02Solly.
11:03What?
11:04How many dummy crocodiles did you make?
11:05Only one.
11:06Why?
11:07There's another one.
11:09What?
11:10Can't get them out of the water.
11:11Well, I'm sorry.
11:12I'm sorry.
11:13I'm sorry, Sergeant Major.
11:14I'm sorry.
11:15I'm sorry.
11:16I'm sorry, Sergeant Major.
11:17I'm sorry, Sergeant Major.
11:18I'm sorry, Sergeant Major.
11:19Behind you.
11:20What's it, boyo?
11:21You want to pull the other one?
11:22He's got bells on.
11:23No, Sergeant Major!
11:24Ten minutes, have him die.
11:32You must be bloody mad!
11:35Whatever that be!
11:37You're on a court-martial!
11:44It's a real one.
11:48Can you put a service on your seat, I do!
11:52You stand still!
11:53You stand still!
11:55Don't move!
11:56None of you!
11:57It's time to change it!
11:59Give your hands up, my friend!
12:02All of you!
12:04Don't move!
12:05Don't move!
12:07We're all on a charge!
12:09I've just saved your life.
12:11Get up!
12:12I'll have to make a glass out for the rest of your life!
12:15What the hell are you soldered boys doing here?
12:18I'm addressing you, sir!
12:20What are you doing?
12:22What do you want?
12:23What do I want?
12:24I'm the game warden round here!
12:27Responsible to the Maharaja Sahib!
12:29For all flora and fauna in this area!
12:33How dare you!
12:34You just shot a very valuable crocodile!
12:37It was going for me!
12:38Nothing of this sort!
12:40That was the food you threw in the water!
12:42I tell you it was going for me!
12:44Don't give me tummy rot!
12:46You are the only harmless mugger!
12:49It was a vicious mugger!
12:50And it was going for my leg!
12:52Your leg?
12:53Your leg shouldn't have been in the water, sir!
12:55You pay a fine of 100 rupees!
12:58Pay me now!
12:59100 rupees!
13:00Get stuffed!
13:01Get stuffed!
13:02Get stuffed!
13:03You damn witties!
13:04You think you rule the world!
13:06Get stuffed!
13:07Get stuffed!
13:08It's so cramped through our beautiful countryside, ruining our flowers, killing our beautiful animals!
13:14What have you got to say for yourself?
13:16Get stuffed!
13:17Get stuffed!
13:18He's very witty, isn't he?
13:21You wait!
13:22You wait!
13:23You wait till I speak to the Maharaja Sahib about this!
13:26You will be in a garampani!
13:28In a really damn hot water, you know?
13:30Boiling damn hot water!
13:33You are an imperialist pixar!
13:35Chala, chala, chala!
13:36You are an imperialist pixar!
13:38Quit India!
13:39Quit India!
13:40The lot of you!
13:41The sooner the damn back air!
13:43Chava, chava!
13:44Make a fool of me, would you?
13:49Make a fool of me, would you?
13:51I'll show you.
13:54I'll show you the best man you are.
14:02Now, we all start even.
14:06One day you'll thank me for this.
14:11But not today.
14:13Right.
14:14We're going deep into that jungle for two days.
14:19And we'll see who comes out on top.
14:23We'll see you lass out.
14:24Got a moment.
14:25Sergeant Major.
14:26You were turned to be trailblazer.
14:27I beg your pardon?
14:28Start hacking!
14:29I beg your pardon?
14:30I beg your pardon?
14:31I beg your pardon?
14:32Start hacking!
14:33I shall now turn into my hands.
14:34I beg your pardon?
14:35I beg your pardon?
14:36I beg your pardon?
14:37I beg your pardon?
14:38I beg your pardon?
14:39I beg your pardon?
14:40I beg your pardon?
14:41Won't you spot on top?
14:42I beg your pardon, then.
14:43I beg your pardon, man.
14:45Oh, gee whore.
14:47Ö
15:10T's up right now you'll be going for three hours and you're on your last legs
15:32I'm not I haven't even touched my water bottle
15:40I expect you've all drained you as dry yeah yeah I haven't touched mine sergeant
15:44major no me no me I don't believe it show me your water bottles well done boys
16:01no I'm gonna show you your first lesson on how to get water
16:10now you mix a nick in it like this
16:27oh it don't taste very nice mind but it'll keep you going
16:37I spent with you a week stomachs it'll make you sick
16:50not me oh I wish I had a pound for every drop of wine
16:57oh this is a ridiculous waste of time we shouldn't be here we should be doing the second half of the show by now
17:14carry on like this we're going to lose our audience I feel sorry for the sergeant major
17:20after all he's only trying to do his job make soldiers out of us all
17:24well I can't understand this why is he always so nice to you
17:28yeah I mean what's the special about your shoulders
17:31well I don't know he just is that's all
17:33yeah well if I hadn't seen him down at the bazaar where that bint of is I'd have my doubts
17:38oh it's a snake
17:44it's only a roundy how's it going
17:47dinner will be served in five minutes up
17:50lovely
17:50well this sergeant made us up
17:52well he won't believe this Randy but he's digging up roots for our supper
17:56all right when I'll give the signal we slip away two by two all right look out here he comes
18:02tell him when it's ready Randy
18:04take it off
18:05all right lovely boys I've got you a supper
18:12tug in
18:14do you want any roots
18:19don't feel like roots tonight
18:21all right tomorrow night
18:26you need anything
18:27what would you do without me huh
18:40if I just walk away now and leave you
18:44you die of hunger and thirst
18:46dinner is ready sub
18:50okay man
18:50so to major
18:53I just want to
18:54what you know
18:56all right
18:58can a bowman you go with him
18:59it is not safe
19:01for anybody to be alone in a jungle at night
19:04and so that I know you're all right
19:06keep shouting
19:07all's well
19:09every 30 seconds
19:12all's well
19:13and I will reply
19:14all's well
19:16got it
19:17put your mosquito nets on
19:21now remember
19:25while I'm serving dinner
19:27you must punk up
19:28but not too hard
19:29because I want subs kept cool
19:32and dinner warm
19:33come on Randy I'm starving
19:36oh baby seat itself
19:38nice
19:39nice
19:40oh lovely
19:41there's no more
19:42here
19:45shout out all's well Gloria
19:47we don't want old shout to get worried
19:49all's well
19:51all's well
19:55all's well
19:56hey Ben what's the pudding
19:58tinned peaches and milk sub
19:59haven't you got any
20:01egg banjo
20:02egg banjo
20:03and chips
20:04oh and
20:05here
20:06where's the tomato sauce
20:07oh very sorry sub
20:08I forgot to pack it
20:09oh come on Randy
20:10you're slipping your neck
20:11I can't eat egg and chips
20:12with that tomato sauce
20:13you all right there Solomon
20:14oh wow
20:16all's well
20:19well
20:20hey Ben what's the pudding
20:22tinned peaches and milk sub
20:25haven't you got any cream
20:27no I'm very sorry sub
20:29but excuse me sub
20:30if any of you gentlemen want
20:32any entertainment after dinner
20:34path to main road leads that way
20:36and you can take bus to cinema
20:38right Ben it is jolly good film
20:42I don't think I want to get the pictures tonight
20:45do you Gloria
20:46no I don't think so
20:47no I think we'll give it a miss tonight
20:48check us out
20:50now you really get in a taste of hardship
20:53right in the middle of the jungle
20:58miles from anywhere
21:00you're hungry and you're thirsty
21:02and you know what it's like to be real soldiers
21:05hey
21:06why have you two been so long
21:08um
21:09er we couldn't find the way back
21:10Sergeant Major
21:11see how right I was to make you keep shouting out
21:14oh yes
21:15er excuse me Sergeant Major
21:17who's that
21:18it's me Gunnar McIntosh
21:19can I be excused please
21:21can I go with him
21:22who's that
21:23who's that
21:24who's that
21:25hey all right
21:26keep shouting out
21:27yes Sergeant Major
21:28we'll keep shouting out
21:29you know
21:30youtuber have some roots
21:32oh no I couldn't eat another thing
21:34what
21:36er it means er we couldn't eat anything
21:39anything
21:40oh
21:41what's it like to be real hungry huh
21:44oh
21:45quite awful
21:46awful
21:47I'd better you give anything for a plate of egg and chips huh
21:52oh
21:53oh
21:54my card
21:55er put your nets on
21:57oh yeah yeah
21:58oh
21:59oh
22:00oh
22:01oh
22:02oh
22:03oh
22:04oh
22:05oh
22:06oh
22:07oh
22:08funny
22:09sounded like they was eating then
22:11oh
22:12that's because you're thinking of food Sergeant Major
22:15oh
22:16oh
22:17oh
22:18I don't have to ask whose voice that is
22:19oh
22:20well Mr. La-dee-da gunner Graham if you think
22:22that's funny
22:25I could have sworn I could smell egg banjos eh
22:28that's nothing out of the ordinary Sergeant Major
22:31it's quite common when you're hungry
22:33to start thinking about food
22:35it's a
22:36it's a species of hallucination
22:38a species of hallucination
22:41let me tell you Mr. La-dee-da
22:45gunner Graham
22:47I am hungry right but you know what
22:49I am enjoying it I am loving it
22:51I know it
22:52is a masochist
22:53I am enjoying it
22:55yes
22:56I am enjoying it because I know you're hungry
22:59I am used to it because I am a soldier
23:01and you are not because you are a bunch of poofs
23:04I tell you this
23:07however arches we got a face
23:09however hungry we get
23:11even if we're starving
23:12I will come out on top
23:14you know why
23:16because I am a man
23:18who's your friend
23:20who's your friend
23:26if you're blue
23:28and you don't know where to go to
23:31why don't you go where fashion sits
23:34putting on the ribs
23:36putting on the ribs
23:42Karam Chai
23:44thanks Rangji
23:46come let's mix where Rockefellers walk with strips
24:00or umbrellas in their midst
24:02come let's mix where Rockefellers walk with strips
24:04or umbrellas in their midst
24:06putting on the ribs
24:08come let's mix where Rockefellers walk with strips
24:10or umbrellas in their midst
24:12putting on the ribs
24:14put in on the ribs
24:16put in on the ribs
24:22oh blimey
24:24look at him
24:26I don't think I can stand much more of this
24:28here you are Sergeant Major
24:30here you are Sergeant Major
24:32have a drink of this
24:38how come you've got some water left
24:40oh
24:42if you can stand being thirsty so can
24:46excuse me Sergeant Major
24:48but
24:50you're not reading that map properly
24:52you've got it the wrong way up
24:54you're telling me
24:56train soldier
24:58how to read a map
24:59no no no no
25:00I was only trying to help
25:02I mean if we're lost
25:03lost
25:04who said we're lost
25:06I was reading maps before he was born
25:08I
25:10never lost a patrol yet
25:12don't worry boys
25:14I'll get you out of this jungle
25:16I'll get you out of this jungle
25:18trust me
25:20I won't let you down
25:22are you sure you won't have a drink
25:32well
25:34as I was saying
25:35I'm most awfully bucked
25:36you two chaps could join me here for a few days
25:38oh it's very good of you to have us
25:39yes
25:40I'm so glad you were able to bring your black ties with you
25:43must keep up the standard you know
25:45every night
25:47I dress for dinner
25:48all alone in the jungle
25:49all by myself
25:50dress for dinner
25:51alone night
25:52every night
25:53dress
25:54dress
25:55they like it you know
25:56it's the cold you know
25:57the cold
25:58well what brings you all to this neck of the woods
26:00our chaps are on a jungle survival
26:02oh jolly good
26:03jolly good
26:04did you see any sign of them when you went out today
26:06no sir nothing
26:07I told you I was worried about the sergeant major's map reading
26:10for example
26:11that read
26:12if you ask me they've been going round the circles
26:13ok
26:14well never mind
26:15if they don't turn out tomorrow
26:16I'll lend you one of my crackers
26:17you damn good boar hunter
26:18You're a damn good boar hunter.
26:25As a matter of fact, that's how I've found my wife.
26:44We're all ready to give up on you.
26:48Don't worry. You're in my care.
26:52I won't let you down, cos I'm a soldier.
26:55Men like me keep a flag flying over this empire.
26:59Not officers and all the rest of them lardy-dard ponches.
27:03I'll get you out of this, boys. Come on.
27:06We'll carry on till we drop.
27:12My hair had this long puff, you see,
27:14and I'd only just struck the boar hunter.
27:18Oh, heavens! It's a scarecrow.
27:22Where have you been, Sergeant Major?
27:24You look in a terrible state.
27:26I...
27:29I don't believe it.
27:30They're a damn funny-looking lot. Who are they?
27:33My concert party, sir.
27:35Concert party? Concert party?
27:37What the devil they've been doing rushing about the jungle.
27:39That's damn vital work. Vital work.
27:42Now, look here, chaps, while you're here,
27:43how about giving us a bit of a show?
27:44What?
27:45Oh!
27:46Yes!
27:48Yes, isn't it? Yes, isn't it?
27:49Carry on.
27:50First off and only, sir.
27:51That's great.
27:52First off and only, sir.
27:54On four.
27:55One, two, three, four.
27:57Happy days are here again.
28:00The skies above are clear again.
28:03Let us sing a song of...
28:05We wanted to make soldiers out of money.
28:07Just to make them into soldiers.
28:09All together...
28:10Sergeant Major Saab!
28:13Vera?
28:15What are you doing here?
28:16Do not worry, Sergeant Major Saab.
28:18You are great men.
28:20Men like you and me,
28:22this glorious empire will last for thousands of years, Saab.
28:26If we keep it sticking up, Union Jack will never fall down.
28:32Do not give in, Sergeant Major Saab.
28:34Here, partake of one nice cup of char.
28:37No.
28:38No.
28:39Sergeant Major Saab.
28:40I have managed to save you one egg banjo that concert party did not eat.
28:45You are great men.
28:46You are great men.
28:47You are great man.
28:48You are great men!
28:49I...
28:51Ohhh, hey, hey...
28:54You are great men.
28:55You are great men.
29:00With music and art, there's a country on the road.
29:03To play with a lot, we'll sing a hey, hey, hey.
29:06We'll come, we'll sing, and we'll come in need.
29:09We're not so bad, we'll hear our children's sound.
29:12We'll come to the boys, I am, the boys, we'll end and say, hey.
29:17I feel too many today, so give us a cheer with a hey, hey, hey.
29:23Just gather around, and go down and down.
29:26We're glass apart, there's plenty of fun.
29:28So meet the gang, cause the boys are here, the boys to entertain you.
29:35B-O-Y-S, boys to entertain you.
29:41End of hope and glory, mother of the...
29:47Shut up!
Comments