- 2 months ago
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TVTranscript
00:00Now look, I know what you're thinking, and yes, I do work out.
00:07I just like to rest a few years between sets.
00:11But seriously, this is proof that our product can be used by anyone, irrespective of age, body type, or back hair density.
00:21Thanks a lot.
00:23Made using nature's own makai berry, tan's form, I'm glowed up and ready to attack each day, even in your Australian winter, huh?
00:31Which is surprisingly cold.
00:33Yeah.
00:34My nipples do not lie, huh?
00:36Mine either.
00:38Well, spray tan is a growth area for us.
00:41Really? So, uh, is that a yes?
00:44Well, here's what I'm thinking.
00:46Excuse me, what is going on here?
00:49Could you just give us a minute?
00:51Can I see your room keys, please?
00:54Yeah.
00:55Yeah.
00:56Okay, hold on, we can explain.
00:58Obviously, we should have paid to rent the patio area, all right?
01:01And not pretend to be staying here.
01:03And Vicky should not have called the manager to what she called.
01:06Yeah, but we are a start-up and we're low on cash, and you were being an asshole.
01:09Yeah, we believe that Tan's form is a market-changing product.
01:13So much so that I mortgaged my house to fund it.
01:16Listen, when we assess a company, we don't just evaluate the product, we look at the people too.
01:20Okay, well, if that's the case, let me give you a little close-up on my brother here, shall I?
01:24He is the smartest, most committed, most honest person you could ever hope to work with.
01:29You know what, and honestly, if you don't believe in us, why don't you suck my-
01:32Okay, you have our information, thank you.
01:35I went too far, didn't I?
01:37At least we came off as passion.
01:39Yeah.
01:40Where are we actually staying?
01:47Ugh.
01:48The nights are on Expedia.
01:50Eh.
01:51How bad about you?
01:57Does this country smell weird?
01:59Huh.
02:00Huh.
02:01Well done.
02:02Huh.
02:03Well done.
02:04Huh.
02:05Huh.
02:09Oh, my God.
02:39Ooh, hello, gorgeous.
02:42Hey, what do you want?
02:44What's a guy who smashes through a door usually want?
02:47I thought I had until next week.
02:50Where's the money?
02:52Where is it?
02:53Hey, um, yeah, no, they were a sure thing.
02:57Everyone knows the refs were dog shit.
02:59The only sure thing in life, mate,
03:01is getting your head fucking caved in when you don't pay your debts.
03:03Okay, wait, yeah, no, um, I don't have it all today, but...
03:08But what?
03:10Holy shit.
03:12You used to play, right?
03:14No, mate.
03:15Yeah, no, it would have been fucking years ago.
03:16You got knocked out in the semi, cracked your head clean open.
03:19I recognise you.
03:20Wrong blood, mate.
03:20No, no, no, I remember.
03:22No, I had cash on Norths, and once they wheeled you out,
03:25the boys collapsed.
03:26Yeah, Terry, Terry Torres.
03:29That's it.
03:30You're a fucking great player, man.
03:31What the hell happened to you?
03:37That fuck had happened.
03:40Fuck.
03:41Hey, it's me.
03:55How are you?
03:55Yeah, good, great.
03:58So, crazy thing, I'm in Australia.
04:02Yeah, Sydney, actually.
04:03Hey.
04:07Hey.
04:08Hey.
04:08What's that?
04:09Oh, uh, this is for Joyce.
04:12Can you talk to her?
04:13Yeah, we're having dinner tonight.
04:15Ew.
04:16And what's this, like a present?
04:18You don't like it?
04:19No, it's trash, but she's your ex, not mine.
04:21Okay, ex is a little strong.
04:24We're just separated.
04:25You know, we still talk.
04:26Okay, okay, I'm just saying,
04:26I don't think this is going to make you unseparated.
04:30You're right, you're right.
04:32My judgment is off.
04:34Why am I so nervous about this?
04:36I don't know, maybe because you quit your job
04:38and started a new business
04:39and flew across the world to win her back,
04:41which I guess is romantic as hell,
04:43but that's not why we're here.
04:45Priority number one is what?
04:46Transform.
04:47That's right, transform, not fucking Joyce.
04:51Yeah, you're right, you're right,
04:52but she'll take me back, right?
04:54I don't know, man, maybe, probably,
04:56not with that thing.
04:58Gimme, gimme, fucking,
05:01things are real panty raiser.
05:03Panty raiser?
05:04Panty raiser, you want them lowered and,
05:07you know what, I don't want to talk about this with you.
05:09I'm going to the convention.
05:12How'd you get started?
05:14I worked at a spray tanning salon back home,
05:16and then one day my boss,
05:18she started bitching at me
05:19and she was like,
05:19you can't use the employee discount for customers,
05:22but I was like,
05:23I'm only using them on the hot customers,
05:25some of whom I was sleeping with, you know?
05:27Well, so these days can be so frustrating.
05:29So frustrating, I know.
05:30So then I took some of the boxes of spray tanning
05:32and I started selling it behind the local high school.
05:34Then, of course, my bitch boss rats me out
05:36and then all of a sudden I'm in jail.
05:38Wait, jail?
05:38I know.
05:39So anyway, I tell my brother and he bails me out
05:41and then he's like lecturing me
05:43on how I need to get my life together
05:44and I'm like, Martin, his name's Martin,
05:46I'm like, Martin, that's what I'm trying to do.
05:48I mean, you see that, right, Sophie?
05:50Yeah, for sure.
05:51Can we go back to the jail, see?
05:53No, it's just that I don't want to work for a fascist.
05:56No, I want to be respected.
05:57Oh, and then I have this trip to Chile
05:59to like drop off this package, which was stupid,
06:01and I meet this gorgeous but mean hula hooper.
06:05Hula hooping was her job?
06:06No, it wasn't her job, but she was really good at it.
06:09And anyway, then I see these guys
06:11and they're doing these incredible temporary tattoos
06:13with the juice of this berry.
06:15Berry?
06:16Mm-hmm.
06:16So we get a scientist to like whip up a formula or whatever,
06:19I don't know, I'm not a scientist,
06:20and we slap a label on it,
06:22and here I am talking to you.
06:24That's quite a story.
06:26Why'd you come out to Australia?
06:27Because your son sucks.
06:29Can't suck.
06:30Cancer.
06:31Plus, if you can make it here in Tanning,
06:32you can make it anywhere.
06:33Okay, well, here's your booth.
06:39You seem disappointed.
06:41Is there a problem?
06:42Well, frankly, the offensive size, Sophie.
06:46Not to mention the stench of hangover shits,
06:49which will definitely deter potential customers,
06:52don't you think?
06:53I could check if there's a deodorizer.
06:55That's not going to work.
06:56Sophie, I thought we were friends.
06:57There is one remaining booth,
06:58but it's part of the diamond package,
07:00so it's a bit pricier.
07:01Take me.
07:02Back this way.
07:03Okay, because you're not mad at me or anything, right?
07:04No, I'm not mad.
07:05I'm a little bit scared.
07:06Joyce, hi.
07:16Hi.
07:22You look fantastic.
07:25How are you?
07:26Good.
07:27I'm good.
07:27How are you?
07:28I am great.
07:30And you're in Sydney.
07:31Right?
07:32What are the odds?
07:33Both of us in southeastern Australia.
07:35It's crazy.
07:36So, um, what are you doing here?
07:38Well, believe it or not,
07:40Vicky and I started a company.
07:42Okay.
07:43Doing what?
07:44Dramatic reveal.
07:47Ta-da!
07:49We are officially in the beauty product business.
07:55What about your job?
07:57I quit.
07:58Really?
07:59After 20 years?
08:01Well, entrepreneurship requires sacrifice.
08:04So, being here is purely a business decision?
08:08Exactly.
08:09Nothing to do with me?
08:10No.
08:11I mean, okay, okay.
08:12Well, maybe I had you in the back of my mind?
08:15Like, way, way back there, though.
08:17Look, I made a lot of promises in the past.
08:27Promises that I didn't keep.
08:29And this is different, all right?
08:33This one is going to come together.
08:36It has to, because I miss you.
08:40Oh, you don't wear your ring anymore?
08:48No.
08:50Yeah.
08:50Martin, you had a lot of good intentions in our marriage.
08:55We're still married.
08:56But while I was waiting for you to follow through on those intentions,
08:59my life was passing me by.
09:01Okay, I get it.
09:02I really do, but...
09:03Look, I'm glad you're excited about your business,
09:06but I did not come here to be pitched on our future.
09:09This, this, this was a mistake.
09:14No.
09:14Sorry.
09:16Joyce.
09:16Hey, good luck with the business.
09:18Joyce, please.
09:19Come on, let's just eat.
09:21Joyce.
09:27Yeah, she's right.
09:28You know, I said we'd get out of the Midwest.
09:30I said we'd have kids.
09:31I just kept pushing it off.
09:33Well, the bright side is now you can spend more time on our business.
09:36Right, yeah.
09:37And hey, speaking of, put on your best fake smile.
09:40We've got a room full of potential buyers to impress.
09:42I'm not really in the mood to network.
09:43I know, buddy.
09:45I know.
09:45Joyce was...
09:46Joyce, you loved her, but people do move on.
09:50I don't want to move on, Vicky.
09:51I know, and I don't want to do this.
09:54Ow, ow, stop.
09:55Oh, fuck.
09:56Stop.
09:57Jesus.
09:58Fuck.
09:59Sorry, I thought that would have come off easier.
10:00But the point is, what would you have said to me if I was in the same position?
10:04You would say you get one chance to make a first impression,
10:06so stop fucking crying about your ex-wife.
10:09You're bumming everybody the fuck out, pussy.
10:11Not really my tone, but, uh, sure.
10:14There we go.
10:15Hello, good sir.
10:16Hi.
10:17What do you have that'll make us look wealthy and successful?
10:19Um.
10:21Ooh.
10:23Oh, how much?
10:24$7.50.
10:24We'll take it.
10:25Vicky, we can't afford that.
10:27No, but it'll look good to people if it seems like we can.
10:29For our image, right?
10:31Absolutely not.
10:31Please, please, please, please, please, please.
10:32No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
10:35So you want it or?
10:36Yes, yes, yes, we do.
10:37Say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
10:39Yes, we do.
10:40Okay.
10:41That's my big, beautiful brother.
10:43Ooh, hoo, hoo, hoo.
10:45And I know exactly who I'm going to impress.
10:48I'll save you some.
10:49Yeah, sure.
10:50Looks like you two are doing well.
10:57Uh, yeah, yeah, very well.
11:00What do you do?
11:01Wait, actually, let me guess.
11:03You are in tanning products.
11:09How'd you know that?
11:11I just go to a lot of beauty conventions.
11:14Oh, well, you're chosen, yes.
11:18I'm Susie.
11:20I'm Martin.
11:21Hi.
11:22So how long have you been in the painting people orange racket?
11:27Well, about a year.
11:29Uh-huh.
11:30And I spent the previous 20 as a financial risk analyst.
11:33Right.
11:34And why'd you give that up?
11:36Well, you know, I decided I wasn't going to let the life I wanted get away from me.
11:42Wow.
11:43That is some truly sentimental bullshit.
11:47Oh, I'm sorry.
11:48I've been listening to too much self-help lately.
11:51No, seriously.
11:52You know, not everyone has the courage to take that kind of risk.
11:58Well, how about you?
11:59You, uh, living the life you want to live?
12:03Fucking hell, Martin.
12:04Why am I asking the big questions?
12:07Oh, sorry.
12:09Well, okay.
12:10Um, if you want the truth, then...
12:14Maybe not.
12:18Oh!
12:18I guess your girlfriend's having fun.
12:25No, it's my sister.
12:27And, yeah, this is her Nirvana.
12:31Not yours?
12:32Oh, God, no.
12:33No.
12:34Well, I did hear a rumor that there's a wine bar within walking distance.
12:40I don't think I...
12:42Sorry.
12:44I'm sorry.
12:44Sorry.
12:45That was way too forward.
12:46I just...
12:47I don't know anybody in town.
12:49No, no, no.
12:49It's just...
12:50No, we have this big presentation.
12:52It's okay.
12:53I get it.
12:53Look, it was really nice to, um, to meet you.
12:56I hope it goes really well.
12:59Sorry.
13:02Oh.
13:02You know, one glass of mine.
13:09Not gonna kill anybody, right?
13:12Cheers to that.
13:13Cheers.
13:14Cheers.
13:15Cheers.
13:16Is this your first time in Australia?
13:18This is my first time here.
13:19Wow.
13:20Yeah.
13:20Welcome.
13:21So, um, this spray tan of yours, is it any good?
13:25Well, why don't you be the judge?
13:27Here we go.
13:27Here.
13:28All right.
13:29It's good.
13:29It's cute.
13:30Right?
13:31Transform.
13:32And the pitch begins now.
13:43May I?
13:44Yes.
13:45And?
13:45Yes.
13:47All right.
13:55Everyday life can take its toll.
13:58Work builds responsibility.
14:00They can make you feel colorless, right?
14:05But at Tansform, we believe you don't have to live that way.
14:08With a spray tan that you can use anytime, anywhere.
14:12Transform with Tansform, transform with Tansform, and be the best version of yourself.
14:21It's good.
14:22It's good.
14:26Oh, my God.
14:30It's really fucking good.
14:31It's really fucking good.
14:31It's really fucking good.
14:33It's really good.
14:45It's really funny.
14:58Hey.
15:00Oh, hi.
15:03Hi.
15:07Listen, I got kind of crazy.
15:10Yeah, looks that way.
15:14Hmm.
15:24You want to get some breakfast?
15:27Martin.
15:30Breakfast?
15:32Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
15:37You okay?
15:39Yeah.
15:40I just normally don't drink that much.
15:44Welcome to Australia.
15:47I mean, actually, you know, look, it's just last night was...
15:52Yeah, uh, about that.
15:54Just, if you could press play.
16:08Filmed us.
16:09Everything's going to be fine.
16:10You've just got to do what he says, okay?
16:11What who says?
16:12Morning, Martin.
16:20Sorry, I think maybe I'm confused.
16:23Oh, what you think's happening is exactly what's happening.
16:26I think I should leave here.
16:33I just got here.
16:35Is it out?
16:35Oh, it's going to be $10,000.
16:44What?
16:46$10,000, Martin.
16:47We're going to throw this up on the interwebs where your wife, kids, heck, even your Chris
16:55kind of a look, see, eh?
16:57You're blackmailing me?
16:59I don't know.
16:59Well, I like to think of it as preserving your privacy at market costs.
17:05I mean, who says I'm married?
17:09Spotting that is.
17:11It's her speciality, mate.
17:16I don't have $10,000.
17:20What was it they got up at the bar?
17:22Rich prick rum.
17:24The whole bottle.
17:25The whole bottle of rich prick rum.
17:28That was my sister.
17:30So you got till 10 tonight, okay?
17:32Look, you don't understand.
17:34I really don't have that kind of money.
17:36See that?
17:39Six hours in the chair.
17:41Skin so thin, it feels like someone's jackhammering at your nerves.
17:45But I didn't move.
17:46No.
17:47Because I want everyone to know I love my sister.
17:50And I'd do anything for her.
17:52Okay.
17:55If you love your wife, Martin.
17:58You'll get the cash.
18:00Yeah.
18:02That was really good.
18:03Okay.
18:03That was really good.
18:21So this whole thing...
18:22Just pay him.
18:24Martin.
18:34Hello.
18:38Yes, yes, yes, yes.
18:40Yeah, you did.
18:42Oh my God, I'm so proud of you.
18:44Oh, and I found a model for the presentation.
18:47She is very talented.
18:49Actually, I took a few needles.
18:50Do you want to see?
18:51Oh, yeah.
18:52Here.
18:56Hey, you okay?
18:58Look who a pail.
19:02Well, lucky for you, your marriage is over.
19:04Otherwise, this would be a problem.
19:05No, it's not over.
19:07Joyce texted me this morning.
19:08She wants to talk.
19:09Oh, okay.
19:10You're willing to get mixed up with a couple shakedown artists because Joyce wants to talk?
19:15Vicky, please.
19:16Sorry.
19:17It's fine, I'm being lucky for you.
19:19This is my strong suit.
19:20Extortion.
19:21Remember how I used to run dope for Uncle Rick down in Mexico?
19:24Uncle Rick sells dope?
19:26It was actually pretty good stuff.
19:27But when you're driving desert roads, there's always this chance that you could run into bandits.
19:31And if you do, you have two options.
19:33You can either stop and let them take what is yours, or you accelerate and force them to move.
19:39We're not accelerating.
19:40Look, we got enough cash in our account.
19:42We're just going to pay them off.
19:43Right.
19:46What?
19:47Okay.
19:48The organizer of the event, this friend of mine, she's not really a friend of mine, but we kind of became friends.
19:53And she offered us the biggest booth at the event, and it was really expensive.
20:00And what are you trying to say, Vicky?
20:03We have $812 left in our business account.
20:07Fuck!
20:08Damn.
20:09Fuck!
20:09Okay.
20:10It's going to be okay.
20:11Trust me.
20:11Trust me.
20:12No, no, no.
20:12I'm going to lose my wife, and my house, and my business.
20:16Perfect.
20:18You'll still have me, though.
20:20No, you'll be gone, too, because I will have killed you.
20:23Oh.
20:42Missed.
20:44Dave, turn the hole.
20:46Oh.
20:47Big fella?
20:56How'd you got for me, Terry?
20:57Nothing.
20:58He's a degenerate gambler.
21:00You squeeze him?
21:00Wouldn't have made a difference.
21:07Took him out his word, did ya?
21:09I made a judgement call.
21:10Said I'd come back in a couple of days.
21:12Because that's what I'm paying you for, right?
21:14Your judgement.
21:14Well, you want me to go back there, kick him in the guts and have a few of these shits fucking gold coins out?
21:20You want that?
21:23Sorry, mate.
21:24You ex-footy players all got memory problems, right?
21:26Because it seems like you forgot who I am.
21:29I know who you are, mate.
21:30Memory's fine.
21:32Come here.
21:33Come on.
21:44Where is she?
21:56She'll be here.
21:57Vicky!
21:59Hello, gorgeous.
22:00Hi.
22:00So, what do you think?
22:02Oh, my God.
22:04If I could put that in a can and sell it, I'd be a goddamn millionaire.
22:09Crystal, this is Martin.
22:10Martin, Crystal, our model.
22:12Hi.
22:12Hi.
22:12You look, uh, tan.
22:17No, I mean that this is a spray tanning demo.
22:20All right?
22:21And the point is to show buyers how a product changes your skin color.
22:24And we can't really do that if it looks like you've been slow roasting in the fucking outback.
22:29Okay.
22:29You know what?
22:29Give me a second.
22:30I'm going to talk to you for a second.
22:30Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
22:32I know you're stressed out about your fucking fuck tape or whatever, but you cannot verbally assault our employees, okay?
22:38Oh, you have darker shade.
22:40Just fucking get it together.
22:41Jesus Christ.
22:43Hey, sorry.
22:44It's okay.
22:48Shit's getting worse.
22:50Fucking headaches, blackouts, mood swings, sensitivity to fucking light.
22:58Sorry, mate.
22:58You have any memory issues, erectile dysfunction?
23:02Oh, let's skip the part where you think you've got an active medical license.
23:08Just give me where I come from.
23:09Sorry, mate.
23:10Just, uh, trying to help.
23:19I need 60.
23:21Mate, this is only going to get you 15.
23:22I'll have the rest by Friday.
23:24Mate, you know that's not how it works.
23:25I need 60.
23:26I'll wake your fucking dick.
23:28Okay.
23:29Want to call?
23:29Let go of me, or we're never going to do business again.
23:33Yeah.
23:37Okay, good.
23:40Just, um, um, just give him 15, and, um, throw in a couple of extra for professional courtesy.
23:45Ladies and gentlemen, we've got everything you've got about Spritehead.
23:54Because up next, we have Tensform, a self-tenor, full-laden, and a beast with Tiger.
24:00Combining the anti-aging elements of the front with its natural tanning companies.
24:04Tensform specializes 50% faster, and lasts 90% longer than the competition.
24:09All right.
24:10Okay.
24:12All right.
24:13You ready?
24:14You ready?
24:15You with me?
24:16Let's do this.
24:17Okay.
24:18Here we go.
24:19Here we go.
24:20Hello, Sydney!
24:21I'm Vicky Marvin, and this is my brother and business partner, Marla.
24:27Okay.
24:28You ready?
24:29Okay.
24:30You ready?
24:31You ready?
24:32You ready?
24:33You ready?
24:34You ready?
24:35Okay.
24:36Okay.
24:37Okay.
24:38Okay.
24:39Okay.
24:40Okay.
24:41Okay.
24:42Okay.
24:43Okay.
24:44Okay.
24:45Okay.
24:46Okay.
24:47Okay.
24:48Okay.
24:49It's okay.
24:50Whoopsie doops.
24:51Get up.
24:52Get up.
24:53Get up.
24:54Woo!
24:56The costume was a stupid purchase.
24:59Can you just try to be a little positive?
25:00I fainted in front of our entire industry.
25:02I'm being blackmailed.
25:03Jesus!
25:04And now our inventory is exploding.
25:05I think it's just the heat.
25:06It's winter.
25:07Okay.
25:08Listen.
25:09I'm being blackmailed.
25:10Jesus!
25:11And now our inventory is exploding.
25:12I think it's just the heat.
25:13It's winter.
25:14Okay.
25:15Listen.
25:16Here's what we're going to do.
25:17We're not going to pay them, okay?
25:18We are going to floor it at these assholes and then we are going to explode on them.
25:29No.
25:30We're not going to do it your way.
25:32Okay.
25:33How do you want to do it then?
25:35You're looking for a personal loan?
25:37Yes.
25:38Or maybe a business loan depending on certain factors.
25:41What factors?
25:42Well, whatever factors put ten grand in our pocket today, Phil.
25:46What collateral do you have?
25:49Well, he has a really nice three bedroom, two bathroom house back in the USA.
25:52Ever heard of it?
25:53Don't give me a ball.
25:54I've already taken out a mortgage on my half of the house.
25:57I'm not using my wife's equity.
25:59Psst.
26:00Phil, come here.
26:01Theoretically, between you and me, if we can get this guy to stop being such a B word,
26:06how quickly can we get that loan?
26:08Typically, mortgage approvals take about seven days.
26:11Okay.
26:12Seven days isn't going to work.
26:13Do better.
26:14Can I ask what the loan is for?
26:16Sure.
26:17It's probably...
26:18He's being blackmailed.
26:26No, but he really is.
26:27We need you to do us a solid.
26:32That loan would have floated us for months.
26:34It's Joyce's house, too.
26:35Joyce hasn't lived there in a year.
26:36Well, she's still my wife.
26:37She's still my wife.
26:38Okay.
26:39Well, if she was still your wife, you wouldn't have forced us to cross the Pacific to win
26:41her back.
26:42The reason we don't have money is because you spent it on a booth for a company ten times
26:46our size.
26:47Oh, so this is my fault because I don't really remember taking my brother's dick out and
26:50shoving it in the nearest flim flammer.
26:51Okay.
26:52I've destroyed my life.
26:53Noted.
26:54Maybe your life needed destroying.
26:56What's that mean?
26:57Were you and Joyce really that happy?
26:59Because I don't think that you were.
27:01And last night, when you were at the bar with that hot-ass blackmailer, Martin, that is
27:06the happiest I have seen you in years.
27:10Where are you going?
27:11Martin?
27:12Fix this on my own.
27:13Oh, look.
27:14It's Phil.
27:15The corporate cog who destroyed my business.
27:16Sorry.
27:17Great.
27:18Ugh.
27:19My brother's going to have his legs broken, but I'm sure the bones will heal quicker when
27:20I regale him with your one-word apology.
27:22I get it.
27:23You think I like this job?
27:24My mom won't even talk to me.
27:25She thinks I take people's houses away.
27:26Really?
27:27She doesn't talk to you?
27:28No.
27:29It sucks.
27:30Yeah.
27:31Yeah.
27:32Yeah.
27:33Yeah.
27:34Yeah.
27:35Yeah.
27:36Yeah.
27:37Yeah.
27:38Yeah.
27:39My mom kicked me out.
27:40Yeah.
27:41Yeah.
27:42Yeah.
27:43Yeah.
27:44Yeah.
27:45Yeah.
27:46Yeah.
27:47Yeah.
27:48Yeah.
27:49Yeah.
27:50Yeah.
27:51Yeah.
27:52My mom kicked me out just for selling some furniture that I honestly didn't think she
27:57was using anymore.
27:58And I made bank.
27:59It's like, why don't you support me?
28:01Yeah.
28:02It sounds like you sold her furniture, but I get it.
28:05It's like moms, you know?
28:07Yeah.
28:08Moms.
28:09God.
28:10I get it.
28:14Hey.
28:18I don't normally do this.
28:22He helps people on the bank card.
28:24Do you know what I mean?
28:25I do know what you mean.
28:26Grab a quick drink.
28:27Nope.
28:28Okay.
28:29Fair enough.
28:30Yeah.
28:31Okay.
28:32Fair enough.
28:33Yeah.
28:54Hey.
28:55I'm Vicky from the phone.
28:56What do you want?
28:57I'm looking for a loan.
28:58Don't do loans anymore.
28:59Well, that's a shame.
29:00What do you do now?
29:01Help people.
29:02Help people.
29:03What, like if I need a ride to the airport on a Friday night?
29:04Things like that?
29:05No.
29:06If you got the money, I'll get the job done.
29:07Yeah.
29:08Well, I'm not exactly flush with cash right now.
29:11Hence, the need for the loan.
29:15No.
29:16If I need a ride to the airport on a Friday night, things like that.
29:20Yeah.
29:21If you've got the money, I'll get the job done.
29:24Yeah.
29:24Well, I'm not exactly flush with cash right now, hence the need for the loan.
29:34What's the loan for?
29:36Just your typical blackmail sex tape situation.
29:41Nice.
29:41Yeah.
29:43There could be some other options.
29:45How do you feel about your Second Amendment?
29:55See the photo?
29:56Yep.
29:58Kind of felt bad for this one.
30:01You got a thing for this guy?
30:03No.
30:05Because it sounds like you don't want to take his money.
30:07Maybe I'm just tired of blackmailing broke tourists.
30:10Fuck traps with your idea.
30:13Fuck it.
30:13Extortion operations.
30:15And I didn't think that I'd be doing them forever.
30:17So what?
30:18Going to transition to dolphin trainer, are we?
30:21Neurosurgeon.
30:22Can that general it?
30:23Mind picking those up for me, please?
30:38What the fuck?
30:40Hang on.
30:41Catch!
30:42Don't be rusty.
30:43Please don't.
30:44Stand fucking still.
30:56You don't get to be anyone, but who I tell you to be.
31:00Understand?
31:01All right.
31:02Yeah.
31:04Good girl.
31:06Can you pick these up for me, please?
31:11Hey, you've reached Joyce.
31:13Please leave a message.
31:14Hey, Joyce!
31:15I got your text.
31:16I'm really looking forward to talking.
31:18In the meantime, Vicki and I, we have a big opportunity, but we're just kind of putting
31:25the pieces together right now.
31:27If you're happy with your message, press one.
31:39To delete, press two.
31:43You traded the company van?
31:44For the money we need.
31:45You need.
31:46Not me being blackmailed.
31:48This time.
31:49And what is this piece of shit?
31:51No, it was a good deal.
31:52I'd do it again.
31:53Oh, oh, geez.
31:55That's him.
31:56That's him.
31:56What'd I do?
31:57Answer the phone.
31:58Show this fucker who's boss.
32:00Okay, okay, okay.
32:02Hello?
32:04I have the money.
32:09Here at the motel?
32:10No, no, no, no.
32:11Somewhere public.
32:13Yep.
32:13Afraid I have to insist on that.
32:17You're right.
32:17Yeah.
32:18No, you're right.
32:19Here does work.
32:20Yeah, sure.
32:21One hour?
32:23Okay.
32:24Looking forward to it.
32:25Nervous?
32:26No, no, no, no, no.
32:27Not even in the slightest.
32:29Are you?
32:32Well, that may...
32:33Oh, yeah.
32:35Bad job.
32:36Really bad job.
32:37Yeah, I didn't feel good about it either.
32:38Yeah.
32:38Hi.
32:50Hello, man.
32:51Come on in.
32:55So how is everyone?
32:59Right here.
32:59This is, uh, the end of it.
33:04Here it is.
33:05What up?
33:06Where's the sex tape?
33:07Who are you?
33:08I'm the sister.
33:10And, uh, we're not gonna pay you shit
33:11until you delete the fucking video
33:13from the cloud or whatever.
33:15Well, money first.
33:17Then I press delete.
33:19Not happening.
33:21Oh, I'm just gonna send it then.
33:22Okay, no, no, money first.
33:23No, money first.
33:24No.
33:24Oh, Vicky.
33:25Damn it.
33:26Here you go.
33:27It's all there.
33:32I was starting to think this isn't enough.
33:34If you can get 10 grand in a day,
33:37you get 20 tomorrow.
33:39Cash, come on.
33:39Let's just get out of here.
33:45You know why this works?
33:47I'll tell you.
33:48Everyone wants to believe
33:50they're the most interesting person in the room
33:52because no one wants to admit
33:54they're just another everyday shitbag.
33:58But here's the thing.
34:00If you get tape
34:00fucking a woman who isn't your wife,
34:03then it doesn't matter who you think you are.
34:05You're still gonna have to pay the asking price.
34:08And now,
34:10that price
34:10is 20.
34:13I don't think so.
34:14You got a fucking gun?
34:16I'm accelerating.
34:17You sure about this?
34:17Yeah, I'm American.
34:18Of course I'm fucking sure about this.
34:20Give me your phone.
34:22Now.
34:23Now.
34:25Tell me your password.
34:28One.
34:29One.
34:30Yeah.
34:31One.
34:31All right.
34:32One.
34:33What are they all?
34:33Ones?
34:35Two.
34:36Okay.
34:38I'm kind of having a hard time
34:39adding the password in also.
34:41Pointing.
34:41Will you just...
34:42Sure.
34:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
34:43No, I gotta...
34:43I gotta...
34:44Don't move!
34:46Okay, I'm not familiar with this OS.
34:48Lady, will you help him to leave the fucking sex thing?
34:51Surprise.
34:52God damn it.
34:52Fuck.
34:53I have one too.
34:55Give me a gun.
34:57Please.
34:58I'm gonna bring the fucking gun.
35:02Okay, listen.
35:03If you want 20,
35:04I can give you 20.
35:05All right.
35:05I'll write you a check.
35:06I'll write you a check.
35:06We don't really do checks here, Martin.
35:09Stop moving.
35:11Shut that thing up.
35:15Now, please.
35:16Sorry.
35:16Sorry, it's just, uh...
35:20Some shit's just too ironic, eh?
35:25Okay, please.
35:27Please, don't.
35:27Don't.
35:28Alive?
35:29This must be Mrs. No.
35:30Please, don't!
35:31I'm sorry.
35:44I'm sorry.
35:59Are you there?
36:07Hang up.
36:09Hang up.
36:10Hang up.
36:11All right, Bob.
36:11Maggie.
36:13Oh.
36:23Is he...
36:24Is he...
36:25Yeah.
36:27We have to call an ambulance.
36:29No, no, no, no, no.
36:30We're in a foreign country,
36:31and we just killed somebody.
36:34We're not gonna call an ambulance.
36:38What do we do?
36:39We've got to get rid of him.
36:42Okay.
36:43I think I know somebody.
36:44So you're thinking, like, an acid bath situation, or...
37:01I'm thinking you guys are fucked.
37:03You know how she is?
37:10Yep.
37:12Well, you know what?
37:13I'm getting the fuck out of here, then.
37:15Would $10,000 change your mind?
37:21Fuck.
37:23We need a big fucking bag.
37:24Wait, wait.
37:36Yep.
37:37Okay.
37:37Let's go.
37:38Oh, my God.
37:39Wait, wait, wait.
37:40Oh, my God.
37:42Okay?
37:47It's good on your ride, man.
37:48I don't think so.
37:50Good.
37:51Pop the boot.
37:52Okay, hold on.
37:53We're taking my car?
37:56Yeah, your body.
37:57Your car.
37:58I suppose that's terrible.
38:02Full of boxes.
38:04Looks like he's gonna have to ride up front.
38:16Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no.
38:18It's his birthday.
38:20Pussy can't handle his tequila.
38:22Oh, fuck.
38:27Okay.
38:28Okay.
38:29Where are we going?
38:31We feel like pizza, burgers, fries.
38:35Oh, fuck.
38:36I could do burgers if...
38:37You're kidding.
38:38If I come with me?
38:39Okay.
38:40Yeah, no, we're just gonna go get rid of the body.
38:41Yeah, no, I'm stupid.
38:42I'm stupid.
38:44I'm stupid.
38:44Okay, let's go.
38:45Jesus Christ.
39:04ready three two one are we sure we should do jesus i don't leave the room we're doing this
39:31let's drop the dead fuck come on
39:49fuck's sake help me with things
40:01yes yes i'll polish the leaves make them green again shake out the trees
40:20they've seen again spring cleaning getting ready for love
40:25that's off to winter flowers wash them out with april showers
40:32come again with fragrant flowers shine up the moon above
40:37cause you and i have a rendezvous under the sky
40:42like these two spray cleaners get ready for love
40:47yeah yeah that's the real queen
40:52you want to stick that in here
40:53i think they're happy
41:00the people in the glass
41:04i hope so
41:07okay bud i'm just gonna think back on you
41:10psychologically you're gonna go through some tough
41:19shit you gotta ride that fucking wave take some xanax do some yoga whatever it
41:25fucking takes to keep your mouth shut especially if the fucking cops come
41:29what about that tattoo lady she finds out we're already dead you don't know cash
41:37fish only gets caught if she opens up her fucking mouth i feel like you're like singling me out on
41:43this i feel like you're the one who's gonna fuck this all up and i don't want to kill you jesus christ
41:49you're obsessed with me okay okay i'll be good here sorry
41:57and if you say me again you fucked up
42:02okay well on that note i am going to take some me time and shower off his blood
42:11yeah uh i should not look like
42:15you're gonna be okay
42:22jesus martin you're really asking the big questions
42:33oh good news i found two seats on a flight home tonight
42:38bad news all that's left is middle seats i fucked up everything didn't i
42:42okay yeah you kind of did but i've fucked up things before too
42:49you always get another chance no i don't think there's any coming back from this
42:59what the hell what what ah if it isn't the spray tan siblings sorry to turn up unannounced i got
43:08the um conference people to give me your motel address why uh do you mind if i uh uh uh sure i
43:17guess yeah that's nice have a seat
43:22uh sorry i know it's early so uh how can we help you i couldn't get your pitch out of my mind it's not
43:30every day a seller reaches me like that so i had a word to marketing they love the whole anti-aging
43:36usp plus the name transform it just just makes reinvention sound so easy and that
43:44shit sells pardon the language really yeah so uh i'm thinking small trial uh what do we say 2000
43:51cans put it in a few stores see if you can get the word out you hit those numbers we can expand
43:57i mean it sounds amazing but we're actually we'll do it oh great right and so um just call the office
44:06and set it up great great can you go now have your wrist back going yeah yeah yeah stuff to do yeah
44:20sorry i know it's really early bro you can see that too right
44:33underbox says you can't hit that you're on
44:35what the fuck i think we should stay we just fed a corpse to a reptile
44:52close there's nobody nothing ties us to cash i mean why would anyone suspect us why would we want to
44:58take that risk if we quit the business is done all right you go back to being yelled at by retail
45:04managers i lose choice last one make it count okay we don't even have 2000 cans well make them
45:15right what'd you say when you first came to me with the idea for transform i don't know you said
45:20sometimes you got to get arrested for selling stolen beauty products to realize what you want in life
45:25i said that you did i'm paraphrasing a little bit but look you're exactly right everything we want
45:32is right here in sydney my wife our business i do really love being co-ceos with you
45:47i know that what happened last night seemed like the end of our road but what if it was the beginning
46:09i think as long as we stick together we'll always be okay
46:39so
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