00:20Captain's log, space, seems to go on and on forever, like your favorite TV show that never
00:27got canceled. Not at all forcing you to make your own half-assed episode. After a thousand light
00:34years, I'm about to complete my 15-beer mission. This is the USB Aldrin's Buzz with a fuel delivery
00:44for BBR base. Over. You're coming in hot. Abort mission. Over. Don't tell me how to fly this vessel.
00:52Over. Open the beer bay door, pal. We have liftoff. Here's to another successful mission. You know it, buddy.
01:33I hate that. I have. It was real cold.
01:40Next time on Everybody Loves Hypnotone.
01:48Uh-oh. It looks like Alpha Base needs another fuel delivery.
01:55Admiral, we're out of fuel.
01:57Yeah. Oh. Your. God.
02:01What do we do?
02:02What can we do?
02:04Zod.
02:04Zod Hellebore here to introduce my earthy new beer, Old Fortran Light Extra Dark.
02:10As the first in my line of hostile new flavors, Old Fortran needs you to write the Old Fortran Light
02:16Extra Dark jingle. The talented lazy slob...
02:21I'm talking to you.
02:22That writes a winning jingle will take home a lifetime supply of Old Fortran Light
02:28Extra Dark. This is dream come true stuff. Once you try Old Fortran Light Extra Dark...
02:34Zod. Zod. Zod.
02:36You just won't want one.
02:38Zod. Zod. Zod.
02:43Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
02:45Yeah. If those were chicks, they were way hot.
02:48Yeah. Never mind.
02:50Since Beck isn't taking my cows and Foghat broke up.
02:54All right, I got it.
02:58True story.
02:59Hey, Nixon. It's your old pal, Bender.
03:01Bender? How did you get my private vid phone number? It's classified.
03:07I won it while playing Russian roulette with President Putin.
03:11So, um, what do you want?
03:14Well, there's this contest that's giving away a lifetime supply of free beer.
03:18All you have to do is write the winning jingle.
03:21So you called me, the President of Earth, to help you write a beer jingle?
03:28No. I called you, the President of Earth, to help me rig that contest so that I could win that
03:35free beer.
03:35Oh, this sounds interesting. I like a good rigging.
03:41We could start with a few incriminating pictures of the contest, Judge.
03:47Yeah.
03:48And then an anonymous call to the tabloid.
03:51Yeah.
03:51A wiretap here, a death threat there, and the next thing you know, Nixon is swimming in free beer.
03:59No. I clearly said I'm getting that free beer.
04:03Ha, ha, ha, ha. Forget it. Tricky dick only looks out for one person.
04:09Me.
04:14Well, Fry?
04:16Ah, Bender. I always appreciate it when you settle for me.
04:20And you know what? This jingle could be my own personal booze license.
04:23I always dreamed of winning a lifetime supply of something.
04:26And what with my ability to compute mad rhymes and your ability to exist, we're a shoo-in for that
04:33beer, baby.
04:34And all I've done's exist since the 20th century.
04:36Ha, ha, ha.
04:38Beer.
04:39Beer.
04:40Beer.
04:42Beer.
04:42Beer.
04:44Beer.
04:45Beer.
04:52Beer.
04:55Beer.
04:58Beer.
04:59Beer.
05:01Beer.
05:03Beer.
05:04Beer.
05:05Beer.
05:07Beer.
05:08Beer.
05:09Beer.
05:09Beer.
05:11Beer.
05:12Beer.
05:12Beer.
05:12We just ran out.
05:14Yeah!
05:15I can't believe you two let me load the ship all by myself.
05:19You're right, we're...
05:20So...
05:22I'm sorry.
05:23Okay, but that doesn't change the fact that we were supposed to leave two hours ago.
05:31And...
05:33And...
05:33How do you think the professor's going to take this news?
05:37Good news, everyone.
05:39I'm so glad you haven't left yet.
05:41Oh, Lord.
05:42Before you drop that crate of giraffes,
05:45I need you to deliver this old science experiment of mine to Chop-Eck 9.
05:49It just sold for twice its value on eBay.
05:53Um, do we really want those cute giraffes in the cargo hold
05:57next to what looks like a leaky handmade beryllium doomsday device?
06:01Oh, my, no, no.
06:02It's the much cheaper Einsteinium-119.
06:05What about the giraffe?
06:06Oh, don't worry.
06:07If they get too close to the doomsday device,
06:09just use this spray bottle to give them a gentle correction.
06:12It's filled with acid.
06:14Cool.
06:15Oh, and watch out for space pirates.
06:17They do love atomic atomizing apparatuses.
06:20Hmm.
06:23Now, off you go.
06:27Come on, guys.
06:29Don't make me do all the work.
06:31Yeah, Fry.
06:32Don't make her do all the work.
06:34Nya, nya, nya, nya, nya.
06:36What you talking about?
06:37You're mutiny on the Strombo's four.
06:40And it's not that I enjoy yelling at you guys.
06:44I really care about you.
06:46Ah, shut up, baby.
06:47I know it.
06:48And you're a bad influence on Fry.
06:50Huh?
06:51You know he'll do anything you tell him.
06:53On true.
06:54Yesterday, I told him to drop dead.
06:56Bandar.
06:57I knew he wouldn't do it.
06:59Your lucky suicide booths are expensive.
07:02Yeah, that's why I bought him a gift card.
07:05Ha, ha, ha, ha.
07:07Zod Helleborg bringing me beer free
07:09for a lifetime.
07:22Oh.
07:24Oh, man.
07:38Not again.
07:50Hey, Amy.
07:51Hi, Fry.
08:05You did it again.
08:06Ha, ha, ha, ha.
08:09Ugh.
08:13Hey, Hermes.
08:15Sweet condor of gondor.
08:17This doomsday device
08:18is better than a green snake
08:19and a sugar cane plant.
08:28Wow.
08:29Well, obviously,
08:30you don't seem too concerned.
08:32Well, you know what would make me feel a whole lot better
08:35if you all signed one of these.
08:38What is it?
08:39It's an updated waiver absolving Planet Express
08:41from gross negligence
08:42in the likely event of you dying
08:44while transporting this bomb.
08:46Hey, you didn't make us sign one of those
08:49when we delivered that bomb
08:50to the peace celebration on Spheron 9.
08:52That wasn't a bomb.
08:54That was just a mislabeled nuclear-powered disco bomb.
08:58Yeah, it was way groovy
09:00until Zach Branigan came in and winged it up.
09:02It wasn't the only thing he wanged up.
09:07I'm sure I don't know what you're implying.
09:10Oh, well, let me clear things up for you.
09:12By not the only thing,
09:14I meant you.
09:15And by winged up,
09:16I meant...
09:17Listen, just because two people
09:18were accidentally locked alone
09:20in a sex-swingatorium
09:22for five hours
09:24and had to disrobe
09:26because of a temperature malfunction
09:28doesn't mean they winged it up.
09:32Ah!
09:33Yeah!
09:37And by malfunctioning thermostat,
09:39I mean, whoa!
09:43Hi!
09:46Ow, my ass!
09:49Oh, what a beautiful day.
09:52Just smell that fresh air.
10:06It's hard to say
10:08Just now, some things never change
10:11And it's hard to find
10:13And it's really to draw the line
10:15Oh, I'm just burning
10:17Doing a neutron dance
10:20I'm just burning
10:21Doing a neutron dance
10:36You may be
10:37I'm just burning
10:38I'm just burning
10:41I'm just burning
10:46And building a neon
10:50And that kind of trick
10:50You may not be
10:53Disease
11:06Admiral Benner never kicked me for insubordination.
11:09You know it, buddy!
11:12Ow!
11:12Oh!
11:14Zod...
11:14That reminds me.
11:15Zod Hellebore would recommend I drink another beer to avoid a hangover.
11:19I've had enough of these inebriation games.
11:22Games?
11:22Beer is no game.
11:24Beer is life!
11:26Did you at least secure the cargo?
11:30Yeah, I fed the professor's doomsday device and sealed the drafts in an airtight container.
11:35So, hmm.
11:36Stupid.
11:37Alert!
11:37Suffocating giraffe cargo.
11:39Alert!
11:40Cargo ready.
11:41Ugh.
11:53Idiots.
11:54Why am I not surprised?
11:56You don't normally let us handle the dangerous cargo.
11:58Damn, drifts and sharp hooves.
12:01Pretty sharp.
12:09You'd think they would have made that distinction by now.
12:12In this new regulation state, it should be a duplicate signature.
12:14Hello!
12:15And how is everyone doing on this lovely day and whatnot?
12:19Doing great, Dr. Z.
12:20And my dearest friend Hermes.
12:23How is the family?
12:25Oh, come on.
12:26Give me some claw.
12:29Even a grade 55 would recognize the 4A designation, meaning it's a triplicate signature form with rudimentary fingerprint, DNA, and
12:40stool profiles in the addendum.
12:41Well, it's blank.
12:43I just don't know what's going on down there at the central bureaucracy.
12:46I mean...
12:52Bad news, everyone.
12:55What's wrong, professor?
12:57I just remembered I forgot to replace that damaged underthruster on that rickety doomsday device I just sold.
13:03It's probably leaking hyperflonic flictation.
13:05There's nothing about that sentence I didn't like.
13:08If it blows up, it will kill the entire crew.
13:11Oh, it's really not the problem, since I got them to sign updated no-fault debt waivers.
13:17Hermes!
13:17If that piece of junk I built explodes, it'll destroy the nearest solar system and, more importantly, my impeccable eBay
13:24rating.
13:25Understood, professor.
13:26I will take care of this perilous mission personally.
13:29Yes, yes.
13:31Zoidberg!
13:32Get that bomb back here.
13:36What an honor.
13:42I really hate that crab.
13:48Zod's beer!
13:49Looking for Zod's beer!
13:51I gotta find Zod's beer!
13:53For my robot!
13:55That's me, baby!
14:01Yo, yo, yo.
14:02Dr. Z on the vid phone.
14:03Initiate Zoidberg protocol.
14:06All ignored.
14:12Did you just post a photo with the doomsday device?
14:15My fans demand insight into my daily routine.
14:18Oh, and he's so photogenic.
14:20Don't forget musical.
14:22Musical!
14:23Of course, I'm humble.
14:24Oh, the humblest.
14:25Would you just please be stupid somewhere else?
14:29Don't mind if I do?
14:29We've got a beer jingle to tingle.
14:32Yeah, Leela.
14:33We're on a mission from Zod.
14:35Don't touch me.
14:36You're unbelievable.
14:37And all the work can wait.
14:40And the captain is someone you hate.
14:44Well, I think she's the best.
14:45You will never touch her chest.
14:48Hey!
14:48The best part of drinking beer.
14:52Is all Fortran-like.
14:54Extra done.
14:56Why do I want a coffee so bad?
14:59You know what that makes me think of, buddy?
15:01Beer!
15:02Beer!
15:04Beer!
15:08Beer!
15:11That was good the way you held that.
15:13Just get out!
15:15Aye, aye, captain.
15:18Do-do-do-do-do-do.
15:21We're all gonna die!
15:32Oh, I bet your stupid selfie gave our position away.
15:36Now relax.
15:37They're probably just my adoring fans.
15:39I'll give them this up.
15:41Some of them may not be destroyed.
15:43Warning.
15:43Warning.
15:45Fans of yours, huh?
15:51We're boned.
15:57Oh, we're rolling, sir.
16:03Well, well, well.
16:06Branigan here.
16:07Captain Branigan.
16:10Zap.
16:12The zapper.
16:15I'm sure you were all upset, as millions of others were, that I wasn't included in this
16:21abomination of a fan film.
16:25Unfortunately, I was preoccupied with a dupe emergency.
16:30An alien planet's sex machine broke down, and I had to fill in.
16:35If you know what I mean.
16:38Sexually.
16:39Needless to say, they won't be needing that pathetic machine again.
16:44You're welcome.
16:45Nymphalus 6.9.
16:47So, as you can see, there was a legitimate reason I wasn't included.
16:52It had nothing to do with Leela's restraining order.
16:55You saw the, uh, episode?
16:59You experienced the amazing disappointment at that lousy cliffhanger.
17:05Will the crew of the Planet Express ship survive the looming space battle?
17:09Will Leela save her precious miniature giraffes?
17:13What did Frye see in that death clock?
17:15What's the deal with that tentacle thing?
17:19Will Amy ever find the perfect color for her toenails?
17:23Will the professor save his impeccable eBay rating?
17:28Will Zoitberg retrieve the doomsday device?
17:31These and many other questions will be answered.
17:34Never.
17:35You know what?
17:36Cash, plans, die near you.
17:39This production's got no talent, no rights, no money.
18:17This production's got no talent, no money.
18:47This production's got no talent, no money.
19:01This production's got no talent, no money.
19:01This production's got no talent, no money.
19:01This production's got no talent, no money.
19:04This production's got no talent, no money.
19:06This production's got no talent, no money.
19:07This production's got no talent, no money.
19:07This production's got no talent, no money.
19:08This production's got no talent, no money.
19:08This production's got no talent, no money.
19:09This production's got no talent, no money.
19:11This production's got no talent, no money.
19:11This production's got no talent, no money.
19:12This production's got no talent, no money.
19:16This production's got no talent, no money.
21:01Sponsored by...
21:02Dammit, I told you, I don't care what the wogs think.
21:06Daddy, can we go to Luna Park Saturday?
21:08I'm too busy.
21:10Please?
21:17Uh-oh.
21:20Sweetheart, my schedule just opened up.
21:23I love you.
21:24Thank you, Daddy. I love you.
21:26Death clock.
21:28Death clock.
21:30When you need to know when you're gonna go.
21:33When you need to know when you're gonna go.
21:36Death clock.
21:38Don't be in the river.
22:13All you need to know when you're gonna go.
22:14The roadentaire is closed.
22:14I want to know when you're in the river.
22:14As you go behind me.
22:15You need to know when you're gonna go into the river.
22:18How do you want Vin?
22:25You need to know when you're paying for the Willis Park or in the river.
22:26Or he can help you in the river.
22:26Because you want him
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