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Hell and Back is a 2015 American stop motion adult animated fantasy black comedy film directed by Tom Gianas and Ross Shuman and written by Gianas, Hugh Sterbakov, and Zeb Wells. It stars the voices of Nick Swardson, Mila Kunis, Bob Odenkirk, T.J. Miller, Rob Riggle, Susan Sarandon, and Danny McBride.[2] It follows three friends who break a blood oath over a mint, causing a portal to open and suck one of them into Hell. The other two go through the portal to save him from demons and the Devil himself. The film was released October 2, 2015, by Freestyle Releasing.[3]
Plot
Carnival barker Remy needs to bring in business at a rundown pier carnival alongside his childhood friends, carnival repairman Augie and assistant manager Curt. After Curt reveals the bank has foreclosed the carnival, Remy borrows a book of spells from fortune-teller Madame Zonar.
Remy displays the book at The Gates of Hell attraction. When Curt asks Remy for a mint, Remy forces Curt to take a blood oath on the book to pay Remy back a mint. Curt is sucked into a portal within the ride. Remy and Augie take a car from the ride into the portal to rescue Curt, only to find themselves in Hell.
Hell and Back is a 2015 American stop motion adult animated fantasy black comedy film directed by Tom Gianas and Ross Shuman and written by Gianas, Hugh Sterbakov, and Zeb Wells. It stars the voices of Nick Swardson, Mila Kunis, Bob Odenkirk, T.J. Miller, Rob Riggle, Susan Sarandon, and Danny McBride.[2] It follows three friends who break a blood oath over a mint, causing a portal to open and suck one of them into Hell. The other two go through the portal to save him from demons and the Devil himself. The film was released October 2, 2015, by Freestyle Releasing.[3]
Plot
Carnival barker Remy needs to bring in business at a rundown pier carnival alongside his childhood friends, carnival repairman Augie and assistant manager Curt. After Curt reveals the bank has foreclosed the carnival, Remy borrows a book of spells from fortune-teller Madame Zonar.
Remy displays the book at The Gates of Hell attraction. When Curt asks Remy for a mint, Remy forces Curt to take a blood oath on the book to pay Remy back a mint. Curt is sucked into a portal within the ride. Remy and Augie take a car from the ride into the portal to rescue Curt, only to find themselves in Hell.
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00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:30Boo.
00:01:32Come inside the gates where we have no used condoms to step on.
00:01:37What about you, guy? Texting? Why don't you text the rest of your boy band to come down to hell?
00:01:44Anyone? Any takers?
00:01:46That was pathetic. You don't know the first thing about carnival barking. Time for school, son.
00:01:53Hear ye, hear ye. Repent now, foolish mortal.
00:01:57For ye are now the gates of hell.
00:02:01That is how that's done. Enthusiasm, bro. And always throw the horns. Always!
00:02:07Yeah, man. Because there's nothing depressing about old metalheads still throwing up horns.
00:02:11Listen here, skinny jeans fucknose. This place can't survive forever without customers.
00:02:17No customers. No money. No money. No park. No park. No park.
00:02:23No park. No park. What are you, a valet at P.F. Chang?
00:02:26You do know that you just repeated yourself, right?
00:02:28Or did you get pummeled with so many leather dildos at a Judas Priest concert that you have no idea what you're saying right now?
00:02:32Listen, it would be an honor to be fucked by Judas Priest.
00:02:35You don't know shit about dick or rock or roll.
00:02:40Get that luptard to fix this shit.
00:02:43I'll tell him.
00:02:43You could also tell him that he looks like a prime candidate for type 2 diabetes.
00:02:50So funny, Club. You know, I hear you talking about my friend, but it looks like the words are coming out of a dog shit snowman.
00:02:56Hey, man.
00:02:57Do you have a time machine so I can go back in time and punch your mom in the stomach so you don't grow up to be you?
00:03:01Uh, uh, bitch head.
00:03:05Augie! The ride's broken again!
00:03:07I'll punch your dick off with my mouth, bro.
00:03:11Okay. Red is the relay and white is the ground.
00:03:14Hey, what is going on up there?
00:03:20Um, I'm sorry. I just shorted out part of my body.
00:03:24It's very dark in here.
00:03:27Sonar, mistress of the macabre, is in need of power!
00:03:30Just let me get a flashlight and, uh, then I'll...
00:03:33Okay, so I'll just need to check the, uh...
00:03:36Hello? Madam Zonar?
00:03:42Tell me, do you believe in destiny?
00:03:46Why? Should I?
00:03:50Do you believe that your heart will stop because of all the fat that is collected around it from the junk food and garbage that you eat?
00:03:56I can only imagine that your veins are filled with grease and tacos and Cheetos.
00:04:03Do you believe in this destiny?
00:04:05Well, I mean, I...
00:04:07Mr. Fat, fat, fattykins.
00:04:10Uh, uh, okay. I just need to find your breakers.
00:04:14It's true. Did I smother my sadness with carbs?
00:04:17It's my... private shame.
00:04:20Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
00:04:23Ow! Ow! Ow!
00:04:24Ow! Ow! Ow!
00:04:26I sense that you are good with your hands.
00:04:30Thank... thanks.
00:04:31Please, sit down.
00:04:33You are talented, young one.
00:04:35But you spend too much time fucking your hand.
00:04:38What? How did you...
00:04:39Yes, and your hand doesn't enjoy it.
00:04:41It's not consensual.
00:04:43No, no, that's not true at all. That's...
00:04:45Basically, you're raping your own hand.
00:04:47No...
00:04:47And that is why nobody loves you.
00:04:50You're way off.
00:04:50Nobody will ever love you.
00:04:52Agi, what are you doing?
00:04:56Please, sit down.
00:04:58Madam Zonar, dreamer of desires, senses a need within you.
00:05:02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I work here. Can you not talk like that? You're an adult on planet Earth.
00:05:05Well, maybe if you put a circuit breaker on my crystal ball, I could do my job here.
00:05:09Yeah, we gotta get this whole place in shape, or we're all gonna be out of jobs, okay?
00:05:13You could use some shaping up yourself.
00:05:15I know I may be old and wrinkly, but my power can provide.
00:05:20Really?
00:05:20So can my vagina.
00:05:22Not my breasts so much. They've been used and abused.
00:05:25You know what? I take one look at you and my dick hops out of my pants, goes and gets a gun, and blows the head of its own dick off.
00:05:31That is not the first time I have been told that by a man.
00:05:34Bro, I saw the way you were looking at her.
00:05:42Wait, what?
00:05:42Thinking about throwing Madam Bonar a part of your baby dick?
00:05:46Remy, that's fucked up, dude. No way.
00:05:48Come on, Aug, you need the experience. And she rubs balls for a living.
00:05:52And they're crystal, so at least you'll be careful, but she's like a thousand years old.
00:05:55I mean, she must be like a sandpaper factory down there.
00:05:58Dude, don't knock sandpaper. My cat licked my penis when I was in sixth grade, and I still think about it.
00:06:04Oh, not again.
00:06:06We gotta put this horse down.
00:06:08Dude, this place is in trouble. The Gates of Hell is our main attraction, and it's falling to shit.
00:06:12Yeah, I know.
00:06:13Well, you're the handyman, Augie, so fix it.
00:06:15No, no, no, no, I would, but Cleb told me there's no money to fix it.
00:06:19Ouch!
00:06:19Hey!
00:06:20Sorry.
00:06:21Ouch!
00:06:22Did you ask Kurt for the money?
00:06:23No, no, no, no, because he's...
00:06:25The assistant manager.
00:06:26Cleb's the manager.
00:06:27His name is Cleb. I mean, imagine his parents.
00:06:30Yeah, it does feel like they gave up just as soon as they started choosing baby names.
00:06:35Hot fuck action to the max. That's what I like. Fuck action.
00:06:40Clocking out!
00:06:43Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're seriously leaving early?
00:06:46That's right. Got a hot date tonight with Madam Zonar.
00:06:49Oh, you mean the fortune teller.
00:06:51I'm pretty sure I saw her on deck today, slipping around in what appeared to be her own vomit as she was trying to poo off the side of her boats.
00:06:59That's my lady.
00:07:00Well, not to be a dick, my friend, just pointing out the obvious here.
00:07:04You don't really have any skill sets.
00:07:06Yep.
00:07:06And then, you know, you smoke a tremendous amount of weed.
00:07:08Right.
00:07:08And you spend all your time talking to alcoholic, mentally ill fortune tellers.
00:07:12That's me.
00:07:12All while the rides are in dangerously bad condition.
00:07:15Whoa, I told Remy to tell Augie to fix them.
00:07:18That buck has been passed.
00:07:20Well, yeah, right.
00:07:21But still, I mean, one of us has to maintain a safe park, you know, so our customers don't die on the rides.
00:07:27Well, I guess we got to figure out who's going to do that.
00:07:30You or me.
00:07:32Well, since you're the manager...
00:07:35420.
00:07:37See you tomorrow.
00:07:39Awesome.
00:07:39All right.
00:07:40Thank you so much for all the stuff you do, Cleb.
00:07:43Whatever that is, bud.
00:07:44You're going down.
00:07:51Watch out now.
00:07:53Oh, shit.
00:07:55So, dude, after break, we need you to order some parts for the gates.
00:07:58Not this time.
00:07:59The park is done.
00:08:00What?
00:08:01What?
00:08:01Die!
00:08:02Die!
00:08:02The park is done?
00:08:05Bullshit.
00:08:06We just got a letter from the bank.
00:08:08The place is bankrupt.
00:08:09Bankrupt?
00:08:10How could you let this happen?
00:08:11Me?
00:08:12This place is a dinosaur, man.
00:08:14Other parks have roller coasters that rearrange your organs.
00:08:17We got a squirt gun balloon race and a needle exchange program.
00:08:21Kurt, remember the three of us were going to bro out here forever?
00:08:24I don't know what to tell you.
00:08:26Maybe I'll go to college.
00:08:27Oh, really, bro?
00:08:28Awesome, man.
00:08:29Yeah, just go to college, dude.
00:08:31Come on.
00:08:31What, are you going to major in roofies with a minor of...
00:08:33Let's get the fuck out of here.
00:08:36I'm sorry you don't have a fallback plan, Remy.
00:08:39Maybe you should go ask that fortune teller, Madam Zonar, for some career advice.
00:08:43Let's go see if the bearded lady will give you a beach.
00:08:46I'll go get the chloroform.
00:08:47Kurt, steal that clown's knife.
00:08:58Yeah.
00:08:58We should carve our names in the pier.
00:09:00And after high school, if we're still hanging out at this park, we'll all slit our wrists with that knife.
00:09:04The fool again?
00:09:16Did I shuffle these?
00:09:19Ah, you were expected.
00:09:23You knew I was going to come?
00:09:24I am Zonar, I know all.
00:09:26Wow, what am I thinking right now?
00:09:29I sense you are haunted by the dark underlords of the sea.
00:09:34Ha, not even close.
00:09:35I was thinking about sucking my own dick in front of my family on Easter.
00:09:39That is not the first time I have been told that by a man.
00:09:44Ah, where was I?
00:09:47Tis the sad fate of the cynic to miss the offerings of the spirits.
00:09:50The power is within you, child, should you choose to look for a sign.
00:09:55Ugh, look for a sign, really?
00:09:57It's that simple?
00:09:59The book of Beelzebub.
00:10:09Is the devil crying?
00:10:11Wow.
00:10:12What is it?
00:10:14Oh, I was just wondering where you got this book.
00:10:16A spirit bequeathed it as an offering from the dark lord.
00:10:20A dark lord queathed it on you?
00:10:22What does that mean?
00:10:23Can I borrow it?
00:10:24No, this isn't a library.
00:10:25I know, it's a lesbrary filled with creepy old laities.
00:10:30Don't worry, look into the future. You'll see me rejoin this book.
00:10:37Remy!
00:10:38Remy!
00:10:39Remy!
00:10:41Remy!
00:10:41Whoa!
00:10:43Hey, buddy.
00:10:44What's up?
00:10:45You don't look so good, man.
00:10:47Guys, check it out.
00:10:49What's that?
00:10:50That is the book of Beelzebub.
00:10:52The key to saving the park.
00:10:54Wait, what?
00:10:55Dude, I don't get it.
00:10:55Look, people travel across the world to see the face of Jesus on a tortilla, right?
00:11:00Huh?
00:11:00Well, the same people will come to the park in droves to see Jesus' enemy cry like a pussy.
00:11:06Still ain't gonna save the park.
00:11:08Come on, Kurt.
00:11:09Doesn't this park mean anything to you anymore?
00:11:12Honestly?
00:11:13Not really.
00:11:14Kurt, you lost your virginity right there on this ride.
00:11:17Augie tried to lose his virginity there with the strong man.
00:11:19That's why you should care about this place, man.
00:11:22Whatever.
00:11:23Hey, bro, can I get a mint?
00:11:24What?
00:11:25No.
00:11:26Come on.
00:11:27I'm always lending you stuff, and you never pay me back.
00:11:30Don't bust my balls.
00:11:31Just give me a mint.
00:11:32All right, look.
00:11:33If you promise to hit me back, I'll give you one of my La Petite Mints.
00:11:39Okay.
00:11:40I promise to give you one back.
00:11:41So you currently have mints in your possession?
00:11:43I have a pack of mints in my pocket right now.
00:11:45I just happen to like Remy's flavor better.
00:11:47All right.
00:11:48Well, just swear on the book of Beelzebub.
00:11:50Fine.
00:11:50I swear.
00:11:51Give me your hand.
00:11:52Why?
00:11:53Blood oath.
00:11:54Ow!
00:11:54Jeez.
00:11:55Who does that anymore?
00:11:58Uh, by the smitten brow of Beelzebub, this oath doth bind me.
00:12:04May I keep its sacred words, or Beelzebub will find me.
00:12:07Yes.
00:12:08It's official.
00:12:10Wow.
00:12:11Fuck.
00:12:11Finally.
00:12:13Hmm.
00:12:14Oh, now that's a refreshing mint.
00:12:16That's what I'm talking about.
00:12:17Yes, I'm aware of that.
00:12:18Now give me one of yours.
00:12:19Ah, yes.
00:12:20Of course.
00:12:22Hmm.
00:12:22Wait a minute.
00:12:23That's weird.
00:12:25Oh, man.
00:12:26I thought I had my mints, but I guess I don't.
00:12:29Sorry.
00:12:29I guess I can't honor my oath.
00:12:31Oh, typical Kurt.
00:12:32Promise and don't deliver.
00:12:34Typical Remy.
00:12:35Always keep in school.
00:12:37Uh, guide?
00:12:38You made an oath.
00:12:39Who cares?
00:12:40You swore on devil shit.
00:12:41Fuck devil shit.
00:12:42Look out.
00:12:43Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:45What's going on?
00:12:45Uh, everything's going in.
00:12:47Hey, Kurt.
00:12:48Hey, help me.
00:12:49Hold on.
00:12:50What the hell's going on?
00:12:51What the fuck?
00:12:52This is one of your bullshit tricks, Remy.
00:12:54This is a prank.
00:12:55I'm going to fucking kill you.
00:12:58Beelzebub!
00:13:01What just happened?
00:13:02I don't know.
00:13:02Jesus Christ.
00:13:03I have no idea what I just saw.
00:13:04What did you do?
00:13:05What are you talking about?
00:13:06What did I do?
00:13:06I didn't conjure up a vortex.
00:13:08Kurt just got sucked into another dimension, Remy.
00:13:10Oh, really, Augie?
00:13:11I thought that portal went to Barnes & Noble.
00:13:13We got to go in after him.
00:13:14Kurt wouldn't go in after me.
00:13:15Yeah, he would.
00:13:16He's your friend.
00:13:17I hate friends.
00:13:18You are the one that made it a blood oath.
00:13:20All right, let's go.
00:13:22This mysterious portal better be quick.
00:13:24What is that?
00:13:44What is that?
00:13:46I wish we were in Barnes & Noble.
00:14:05I'm not being a pussy.
00:14:17That was really scary, right?
00:14:18I'm so scared, my shit just shit its pants.
00:14:21Where are we?
00:14:22I don't know.
00:14:23Why do you act like I've done this before?
00:14:25What are those things?
00:14:26Look, it's Kurt.
00:14:27I'm an American.
00:14:28Jack, get your heads off me.
00:14:29Don't waterboard me, dude.
00:14:30Where are we?
00:14:32We're screwed.
00:14:38Who are those people?
00:14:55Make a fire.
00:14:56Send.
00:14:56Make a fire.
00:14:57Send.
00:14:58Make a fire.
00:14:59Send.
00:14:59Make a fire.
00:15:00Holy shit.
00:15:02Dude, we gotta hide.
00:15:08May I take your order?
00:15:10I will have a, uh, pepperoni pizza, please.
00:15:14There ain't no pepperoni pizza.
00:15:16Oh, I'm sorry, but it does say Pizza Hut and Taco Bell,
00:15:19so I thought maybe I could get some pizza as well.
00:15:22It says pizza, and it says taco, but we only got taco.
00:15:29You're being tortured.
00:15:30Oh, uh, all right.
00:15:32Order another pizza.
00:15:33I think I see where this is headed.
00:15:33Just order the damn pizza.
00:15:35All right, we'll have a, uh, pizza with extra cheese, please.
00:15:38There ain't no pizza.
00:15:39You can have a chalupa, burrito, uh, chiro.
00:15:44Now, it does say Pizza Hut Taco Bell.
00:15:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, welcome to hell.
00:15:50Oh, my God, we're in hell.
00:15:52Make a fire.
00:15:53If you lend him a pen, he chews on it.
00:15:55Make a fire.
00:15:56Fat guy with the nickname Tiny.
00:15:58Make a fire.
00:16:00Lunch?
00:16:01Damn, man, we got 20 minutes before break.
00:16:03Ah, who's gonna know?
00:16:04Sometimes I think your heart's not in this anymore.
00:16:07Sorry, man.
00:16:07I'm just going through some fucking life changes right now, you know?
00:16:11I'm gonna throw you in the fucking flame.
00:16:12Is that immortal?
00:16:13What the fuck are you doing?
00:16:14Uh, who, us?
00:16:16Uh, just floating around trying to get ham, dude.
00:16:20Spring breaking it.
00:16:23Bullshit going on.
00:16:24Take him back to processing.
00:16:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:26Take him to the office.
00:16:27Where?
00:16:27Wait, let's talk about this.
00:16:29Oh, no, no, no.
00:16:30Ouch.
00:16:31Hey.
00:16:31Come on.
00:16:32Ouch.
00:16:34Ouch.
00:16:34Oh, okay, okay.
00:16:37Please rule all religious paraphernalia.
00:16:42If you're a priest or a nun, that's just really funny because you wasted your life.
00:16:46Enjoy your stay in hell and remember you're here for a reason or you're Jewish.
00:16:50Pick up after yourself.
00:16:52Your mother doesn't live here.
00:16:53If she does, she was a whore.
00:17:01What is this place?
00:17:04Wait, what the fuck is that then?
00:17:07Remy, Remy.
00:17:13What?
00:17:13There's nobody here.
00:17:16Oh!
00:17:18I don't know, Aki.
00:17:20This place is incredible.
00:17:22No, Remy.
00:17:23Don't touch anything.
00:17:24This is stranger danger all around us.
00:17:27Now, everyone eat your own genitals.
00:17:30Oh, we already ate them.
00:17:33Well, throw up your genitals and eat them again.
00:17:35Our budget is out of control.
00:17:39And I've got a report here that says we're making lost souls walk over warm coal.
00:17:46Oh, they're pretty hot.
00:17:47I walked over them myself.
00:17:49It felt like a freaking foot massage.
00:17:51We've all had to cut corners.
00:17:53Even the gluttons are beginning to look anorexic.
00:17:56Our dental plan is a steep deductible.
00:17:58Our union hasn't had a sacrifice in three years.
00:18:01The reason that shit's all fucked up is because we're not paying our people right.
00:18:05Yeah!
00:18:05Our team!
00:18:06Hell yeah, nigga!
00:18:11Dude, I can't believe you used the N-word.
00:18:13What?
00:18:13No, I can say it down here.
00:18:15Down here's okay.
00:18:17All of you, get the fuck out of here!
00:18:31He is being a real bitch today.
00:18:35Gloria, hold my calls.
00:18:38Hump day.
00:18:40The lunchroom fridge will be cleaned out on Friday.
00:18:42They should at least give us till Monday.
00:18:45If you leave any food, drinks, or containers in there...
00:18:47My spring rolls?
00:18:48They will be thrown out.
00:18:49That's my food!
00:18:50It's still good!
00:18:51What?
00:18:52P.S., you also have a time-sensitive email from the Demons Union.
00:18:55Oh, Demons Union!
00:18:57What do they want?
00:18:58They put in a request to have the new mortal tortured and sacrificed.
00:19:02Kurt's gonna be sacrificed?
00:19:04I've gotta find him.
00:19:06Oh, boy.
00:19:07P.P.S., Bob's on her way down here from heaven.
00:19:10What?
00:19:10She's flying down here right now?
00:19:12I'll tell her you're unavailable.
00:19:14No, no, no!
00:19:15Tell her I've cleared my schedule just for her.
00:19:18Okay.
00:19:19I'm gonna be off the grid for a few minutes.
00:19:21Now I'll just rub one out so I don't finish too quickly tonight.
00:19:25Ah!
00:19:26Shirts and skins with a Z.
00:19:27Hey, Remy, what are you doing?
00:19:46I'm looking for clues to help us find Kurt.
00:19:49Ooh, the devil's cell phone.
00:19:51That might come in handy.
00:19:53Oh, oh, oh!
00:19:54Ah!
00:19:55She's flying down here.
00:19:57Oh, the devil's actual devil's brew.
00:20:01Oh, oh, oh.
00:20:02Oggy!
00:20:09Are you okay?
00:20:14Yeah, motherfucker!
00:20:15That's the real shit!
00:20:18More!
00:20:18More!
00:20:18I need more, please.
00:20:19Please, give me more.
00:20:20I drank a pint of ass blood for another sip of that blue!
00:20:23I need it inside of it!
00:20:25If heaven's right, then I wanna be wrong in hell with this sweet, sweet ambrosia!
00:20:29mind
00:20:37loveseat
00:20:44huh
00:20:49what the hell are you two doing here
00:20:53we're just trying to save our friend Kurt
00:20:55you know just in and out really who do you think you are orpheus who's orpheus you don't know your
00:21:02greek mythology do you orpheus the mortal who came down to hell to rescue his wife anyone man
00:21:11public education no wonder the chinese are kicking her ass wait so he finds mortals and rescues them
00:21:17from hell because you know what we do to mortals in hell bob is on our way down to your office i
00:21:23told her she can't go in unannounced damn look i'm gonna kill both of you but i need some time
00:21:29alone with an angel first so sit over here and enjoy your last few moments alive it's gonna be
00:21:34great you're gonna love it take your time yeah no worries see you in a few
00:21:53i don't know if it's right or wrong
00:22:02whoa look at this new style of yours you're quite the dandy that's a real statement
00:22:11wow you really look good huh oh you how do you do it low carbs and porn
00:22:17barbs you got nice ones oh see i'm not wearing a bra either no your wings have you had work done on
00:22:25your wings no they're gorgeous oh devil stop it i have a little problem i want to help so bad somehow
00:22:36i have to find and extract two mortals from unauthorized damnation within your jurisdiction
00:22:42two mortals huh if i find them for you what's my reward if you find them i'll do things with you
00:22:49that would make the internet blush this is my lucky day look over there barb mini golf wait uh hold on
00:23:04keep looking what god work machine you know what stop just stop wait barb uh where are you going
00:23:14i'm flying back to heaven don't text me until you found the two mortals wait barb i i love you good luck
00:23:25gloria i need you to put out an apv on those two mortals and make it clear that if they're not found
00:23:31i will rip every demon's head off do you have any idea where they're heading
00:23:36um i might have told them about orpheus a little
00:23:43attention demons there are two mortals are loose in hell so if everyone could put down your spears and
00:23:49look around your work area repeat two mortals did we just get name checked by hell's public address system
00:23:55one is a normal looking guy and the other one looks like he only eats dough that seemed a little
00:24:00mean anybody whoa augy augy check it out a gondola let's go we are deploying all demons to locate and
00:24:10capture the two mortals they are on their way to find orpheus orpheus
00:24:30we're gondola in 60 seconds boo what gone in 60 seconds is a movie about you eating a wedding cake
00:24:36you know where we're going let's find orpheus i got idea for another great punishment imagine this
00:24:42hot girl she asks you out she's like hey let's go do bikram yoga you go you do yoga it's hot it's
00:24:48sweaty she looks great she shows you every major flexibility that she has sweaty in all the right
00:24:54places what they call that one move dog down she can get her feet behind her ears she can put her legs
00:25:00behind her neck and walk home on her ass oh she's making her body into that alphabet right there on
00:25:06that yoga mat a b c d and she's spelling out me of course she is while you're doing yoga which sucks
00:25:12for you but you're gonna do it because you're gonna get to this hot girl after oh i love that
00:25:16end of the night good night i gotta go home what so you do yoga day after day and no sex that would
00:25:23be the ultimate punishment for any man that's a great punishment i've always feared that i was meant
00:25:28to die a virgin like that's my main purpose shut up agi hey does that look like those mortals
00:25:35they found us oh i guess it is throw them in the lake of fire the mortals have been spotted on the
00:25:40devil's gondola come on over here bring back the mortals alive let's go wait two one it's a living
00:25:49you're not going anywhere i'm gonna fuck you two up where are you gonna go now hold on there he is
00:26:13get him kill him no my mints hey everybody we got men it's raiding mints
00:26:24hold on oh you like couldn't stab i'll cut that little fish of yours maybe i'll make a bigger mouth
00:26:41here you want a soda pop oh i wouldn't say no it's flat you got a flat soda you got me here you want
00:27:03some neapolitan ice cream oh thank you all right here oh now someone seems to have eaten all of
00:27:08the chocolate and vanilla yeah that's right you just had strawberry you should drink some of this
00:27:14milk not usually a milk drinker oh it's quick it's yeah it's strawberry quick not even chocolate
00:27:21quick no it's that strawberry crap it's not fun welcome to hell
00:27:25let's see alumni association no thanks starving children fuck you devil sal and dave called to say
00:27:37they lost the two mortals you were looking for i think bob's gonna be disappointed damn it
00:27:43i'm surrounded by idiots put them through hey boss
00:27:48what are you doing just did yoga turns out dudes only huge bummer oh good oh good you're finding
00:27:57your core this is good to hear hey once you find your core go find the mortals
00:28:05okay plan of attack let's see if i uh aha gloria i need you to announce the biggest sacrifice at the
00:28:12crossroads that hell has ever seen okay then i'll simply wait for the other mortals to come to me
00:28:24i really gotta grow a mustache
00:28:36now let's see here push this
00:28:39oh faster than i remember
00:28:44this elevator can't be up to code let's see the last time it was inspected
00:28:54okay voided my bowels you can do this buddy this is for the demons
00:28:58they love this shit let's do this all right everybody prepare to meet our dark lord
00:29:10oh hell the god alive you're goddamn right the worst of the worst
00:29:15fucking a
00:29:16the hell pig of buck mountain don't love that one the douchiest of all birds that was kind of mean
00:29:24actually the dick of all assholes okay that's enough the guy who fucks her mother and tells you
00:29:30about it always just one step too far
00:29:36where's the fucking mortal
00:29:38hot-fuck action to the max that's what i like hot-fuck action to the max got a big dick
00:29:46oh what do you have to say for yourself oh where am i you poor dumb bastard you don't even know
00:29:54what's going on fella you're in hell oh boy and who are you can you believe this guy i'm the
00:30:02fucking devil no one had the decency to torture this guy before i got down here the boys were just
00:30:10hoping to see the master at work you are the man the devil enough ass kissing now which one of
00:30:17these dastardly contraptions shall i use ah perhaps this one oh no no that's our foosball table chief
00:30:30moving on aha get in here okay
00:30:40there tell me of the pain you feel so we may laugh at you
00:30:46uh okay um actually the bouncing up and down is kind of giving me a tickle in a funny spot
00:30:52it is not tickling is this a sibian no i assure you this is a sibian you get off
00:30:58me on let me on
00:31:02it's a sibian
00:31:10oh wait a minute guys seriously come on what do you want i'll give you anything please don't do
00:31:21this or god please i'll stroke your shaft and play with your nuts i'll stick my fingers in your ass i will
00:31:29tickle your balls i'll suck everybody's cock here who's cock is first don't do this i'll
00:31:37shut up or i'll drill your brains and turn you into sex zombies why are you mortals here i uh uh he
00:31:51he found a crying devil book and made our friend take a blood of which i was up for but now i look
00:31:56back on his mistake and he broke the oath that that's why we're here not because i
00:32:00why are you looking for orpheus because because orpheus is the only one who can save our friend
00:32:10girl hey you tricked us yeah that's false advertising i know i'm bad
00:32:17but i could still kill you because i'm half demon oh okay take me to orpheus
00:32:22only if you take us to kurt first fuck no um yeah the way i see it you can't find orpheus without
00:32:31us so we've got the upper hand purple lady take me to orpheus hey that's my heart
00:32:41ten nine heart belongs in body oh do you need your little heart seven pretty sure you're gonna die
00:32:48take my liver it's already dead it needs its owner put it back in five oh it's slowing down three
00:32:57two it shouldn't be outside of my bath take your last breath
00:33:01okay okay okay don't kill my friend
00:33:08i saw a white light and then my grandma mommy was there and she was like hey remington would you
00:33:14like a cookie where's orpheus okay okay i got his address in here crack screen he's in the ancient
00:33:22god the ancient realm it looks like the corner of inferno and martin luther king jr drive it sounds
00:33:29like a good neighborhood do you know where that is dermesa that lying bitch he's been down there this
00:33:36whole time uh everything okay yeah you guys help me find orpheus and i'll get you to your friend kurt
00:33:43yes deal
00:33:52okay everyone keep it down let's get this thing started
00:33:55oh is that the mortal you're feeding to beelzebub don't worry about it okay i got it handled gang
00:34:02kurt kurt gang hey nobody told me it was bring your mortal to work day oh is that what you think
00:34:09we're here for so you can all make jokes i just got word we're going to start judging pets so dogs can
00:34:15go to heaven you know what that means yes we're getting all the asshole dogs yeah we get like in-bred
00:34:22motherfuckers uh-huh that's a lot of dogs i'm not running a kennel here hey you does everyone have
00:34:28dogs well not everyone i have a cat you know the hardest part about having cats is telling your
00:34:34parents you're gay no hey cut the homophobic shit you got it did you know that azazel over here is gay
00:34:44i'm sorry to out you as anyway no i gotta figure out who's gonna clean up all that dog
00:34:51shit no hey bro just let the fucking mortal do it or feed it to the gluttons yeah that's the way to do it
00:35:02all of you get the fuck out of here what what somebody's crazy evil today kurt come sit over here
00:35:10buddy
00:35:19hold on it's gonna get bumpy dima i think we're lost the gps says we're supposed to pass the bail bonds
00:35:25and a wig store
00:35:29these idiots that work for me make a pile of shit and then they say turn it into roses
00:35:34oh that's better bro you just shrunk well that version of me is sort of my business suit keeps
00:35:44the demons in line really devil the computer network is down again i don't need this right now and it
00:35:51can't get here to tomorrow do you know that everything we use here is dell can you believe
00:35:57that uh i would much prefer a mac it's friendlier for creative types you know i consider myself an artist
00:36:04oh an artist like picasso or banksy can i see some work well i do have this one thing that i've
00:36:09been working on oh you gotta let me see it it's a black light painting and you see here this is a
00:36:14little devil on a dune buggy right and he's flipping off what what is that i i can't read your reaction
00:36:21no it's really good interesting thing about this uh it's like a cartoon nope that's a realist painting
00:36:27that's hilarious god do you have any more funny pictures no you don't get to see any more of my art
00:36:32there's your first punishment in hell oh that's you did it to yourself
00:36:41we're almost there we gotta go to the bathroom use a cup
00:36:44this is the way to orpheus
00:36:58what is this place a microbrewery stay behind me and keep quiet
00:37:01what the fuck is that thing
00:37:08dermesa you wanna party she's been in a 2000 year bender i want you to come on over here and look
00:37:15under my flap please stop oh is that right mom mom how could you do it all these years i've been
00:37:22searching and he's been down here this whole time he's a face and a deadbeat what orpheus is a poet a
00:37:29noble warrior you're in love with a drink
00:37:34you wouldn't dare open the portal
00:37:40you stupid little
00:37:41devil's brew oh i'll lick your can for 30 more drops
00:37:46stop it i'll fucking kill you
00:37:51you should have told me
00:37:54i'm a swan
00:37:57my bottom says meow
00:37:58you fat pill billy
00:38:04you're letting us through
00:38:06stop it
00:38:07i mean smelly
00:38:08god jima parkour
00:38:12my hand and feet are cops
00:38:13my hand and feet are cops
00:38:14oh no no no no no no
00:38:18oh mama oh god
00:38:19why are we going down here again kurt right your friend kurt our friend kurt yeah
00:38:38he's not what you think he's only gonna disappoint you demon
00:38:44i'm used to disappointment
00:38:57it feels like my brain is vibrating in a good way best thing about whippets
00:39:01you'll feel totally fine in 15 seconds we used to do these at the carnival all the time
00:39:09so double what's your story man how'd you get down here i used to live upstairs you know
00:39:14was actually besties with the big man you mean god yes sir i was in charge of his armies too
00:39:19but they went off to battle and i was off with the sweet set of wings
00:39:23man there was this angel that was epic and bad she had a
00:39:27inside her pussy what is that real turns out god was dating her too so i guess i'm the asshole
00:39:35so wait wait wait you're the devil and have been condemned to hell for eternity for
00:39:39fucking god's girlfriend yep oh it sounds like you got some kind of
00:39:43angel fetish man they're gonna be the death of me check this shit out oh yeah wow what's your name
00:39:49barb i'm fucking lover man but she barely knows i exist oh i doubt that oh man those wings are so
00:39:57white and soft barb why aren't we married
00:40:10migraines and hell are really bad i blacked out yeah don't let me drink devil's brew again oh my god
00:40:20hey i didn't have sex with that blue lady did i not in the biblical sense whoa whoa
00:40:27this must be the way to orpheus what we're gonna swim there nope we're gonna take that submersible cool
00:40:35augie take this rope and attach it to that hook remy you go inside and man the controls come on hop to
00:40:43it jeez whose side do you want what you know like teamwork i'm just trying to be positive and
00:40:48building the foundation of trust within the framework wow yeah oh yeah yeah me strokey
00:40:56me have a strokey losing motor skills tasting pennies i'm releasing the first cable now augie
00:41:10damn it augie get inside i'll have to adjust the ballast manually hey what happened i'm so fake
00:41:19interested
00:41:40whoa purple paradise come on you guys if we're gonna get through this you're gonna have to listen to me
00:41:47i do what i want when i want really get this off me you're gonna wear this until you learn to listen
00:41:58well dip me in salt and lick my asshole what it's a saying i'm trying to get started
00:42:06hey what's this yeah that's my idea book i jot down new punishments i think of as i go about my day
00:42:12well the devil has a little genius pad let's see what you got it's a catapult right with poop inside
00:42:18see now these here they're stink lines whoa whoa wait devil that dude getting sacrificed looks a lot
00:42:23like me yeah my cartoonist is good huh well you mean that's supposed to be me yeah you're the one
00:42:28being sacrificed i thought i told you that
00:42:30what's the matter with you i don't know remy i think i'm in love oh no no no we're coming in too
00:42:45fast you wouldn't even know what to do with her okay little tabby kid from goonies 30 degrees to
00:42:51starboard i got it team i'll do it see we have a connection remy
00:42:55why is the sub listing oh no this is really bad augie she said augie you're in the friend zone and
00:43:04you don't even know it how would you know the friend zone i've only read about the friend zone
00:43:08in bomber magazine see i love nobody and that's what makes me a leader
00:43:18what the is that
00:43:25this is an rpg nightmare where there's no leveling up oh my god diva are you okay we've crossed over to
00:43:38the ancient realm get behind me you travel the path of orpheus yes we do then know the fate of orpheus
00:43:55get it this is the fate of orpheus i'm still alive this mech is pretty tits right
00:44:16wait you're orpheus i've spent my whole life dreaming of the day i could finally meet you
00:44:21well that's very flattering but i tried to be up front with all my groupies i'm not the marrying
00:44:27type no we've come to rescue you you can rescue my sperm from my testes
00:44:34you guys want to see my digs uh fuck and yes together equals fuck yes then
00:44:40fucking yes it is let's do this orpheus nice to meet you i'm augie i put skittles in my cereal
00:44:46who is this mushy man we were told you're an expert at getting mortals out of hell oh who told you
00:44:53that is that true you're really gonna kill me yeah i thought we had a good thing going on here we were
00:45:01just broing out we were but it says here that you made a blood oath and you broke it seriously a blood
00:45:08oath yeah it was dumb nobody does blood oaths anymore not since that guy fucked a monkey well
00:45:15you promised somebody a breath mint and you reneged really really that is lame
00:45:24but also punishable by death and an eternity in hell damn seriously there's nothing you can do
00:45:30if you'd given him a mint back you wouldn't even be here with my ideas for hell i'm worth a lot more
00:45:36to you alive than dead well you you got a point options possibilities you know i could give another
00:45:44mortal to the demons union spare your life that's great what can i do to repay you why don't you help
00:45:49me to make this sacrifice a huge event a spectacle so big that it might even impress a certain angel
00:46:01deal deal that's it thank you devil actually i'm going to need you to sign an initial this and this
00:46:10it's a non-disclosure agreement oh and anyone working here under my employee needs to pass a
00:46:15urine test we just did drugs together like an hour ago i know i just kind of wanted your piss
00:46:20oh
00:46:28down here no way that's so rad
00:46:36hey is that a pogo stick it sure is bromeo 150 jumps yesterday give it up no breaks what what
00:46:46yeah yeah wait i thought you said pogo sticks are for pussies you said what about a pogo stick
00:46:52um you said the pogo stick was a dick and only a pussy would need to jump up and down on it over and
00:46:58over no i didn't say pogo sticks i said hobo dicks why is this woman lying he's a he's a fat little
00:47:06lesbian that lies i like pogo sticks i would never disrespect a pogo stick this is what you've been
00:47:12doing for the last two thousand years you've been down here playing with toys check that as a yes
00:47:19whoa whoa whoa no thank you charon we're fine that guy thinks his boats are the
00:47:25the wood is rotting it's a boat only fit for illegal immigrants i wish he'd just row back to cuba
00:47:35remy rams check out my skills yo hell yeah man
00:47:40wow pretty cool huh that's me she looks pretty hot look how hot i am
00:47:47that's incredible man you painted that i painted it in post for at the same time
00:47:52how do you even physically do that you're amazing remy i am just like you i put my underwear on one
00:47:58ball at a time when did you learn to paint the moment i was born i came out of the womb and i
00:48:03quickly turned around and i painted my mother's vagina you guys like the liar
00:48:13is that like a guitar i don't know does a guitar increase the gravity of a pair of woman's panties
00:48:18i could make a tree bone me with this thing and the trees will bone you here so be careful
00:48:26does this sound right to you yeah that sounds good a tree will fuck me
00:48:31when i was a small boy i was walking through a forest and a tree tried to overpower me oh really
00:48:37what did you do he pushed me on the ground and wrapped his leaves around my face and arms and then
00:48:42the next thing i knew a branch was penetrating my ass oh god oh it was a pointy pointy branch
00:48:51i mean did he wear like a leaf condom or anything no just bark when he was done he shed his
00:48:58acorns upon my back oh that's the worst thing i've ever heard um orpheus uh what were you wearing
00:49:09when the tree violated you you think i asked for it were you maybe dressed like a bush i was dressed
00:49:16like a human being all right i'm sorry i'm gonna go and start a shelter for tree rape victims it's not
00:49:23a joke mr orpheus why have you stayed here if you could leave at any time especially with trees
00:49:30like my uncle carl well me and my road dogs used to come down here all the time rescuing virgins and
00:49:36they'd say oh well some now gangster let me thank you with my lady parts well if i must oh by the way
00:49:43this baby's yours and then i'm just like i'm out of here missy responsibilities that should zombie walk
00:49:49man i'm like black people i'll take freedom preacher meet the choir wow orpheus don't you ever get lonely
00:49:58down here you must have once wished you had a family right guess what no fun times we're all having
00:50:05together you know what else would be fun finding kurt it's the reason we came down here ah fine whatevs
00:50:12i can get you wherever you want to go but first you must pass the trials of the mortals
00:50:24well i hope you all are ready for a physical challenge
00:50:29who wants to see how good i am yes okay moving moving breathing very hard super strong super speed
00:50:39watch me watch me fucking leap so high stuck it i can leap in far to the same oh
00:50:46fuck me oh it hurts so bad i'm weak you know what you guys are good everyone passed a pluses thank you
00:50:59warriors i've tested your mind in body now the hardest test of all you must resist that which tears
00:51:07all mortal men apart women in a minute a super hot sexy is going to come through that door and try to
00:51:14seduce you into telling her the secret word she will stop at absolutely nothing to get it out of you
00:51:21you will want to fuck her silly trust me no matter what she does no matter how long she
00:51:26fucks you do not give her the secret word i repeat do not give it to her the secret word is jasmine
00:51:43you all failed to resist her charms i was watching from a remote monitor in the other room
00:52:05but you can all move on back to my tiki bar yeah all right the one that i built out of that tree that
00:52:14sodomized me didn't we pass i don't understand i can't believe i've spent my entire life looking for
00:52:22this loser i just need to find out one thing for sure and then i can put this behind me wait what
00:52:28garçon these men need some victory juice to pour down our head holes let's make a toast rescuing kurt no
00:52:39to all the road dogs who had the courage to leave their pregnant wives yeah them hoes orifice i bet you
00:52:46like all flavor bitches the fuck i do chinese asian korean pan asian pan korean goo goo guy pan that's a
00:52:55cantonese dinner dish yeah you'd fuck a cantonese dinner dish um yes well then cool no fat bitches no
00:53:06dima you're the coolest chick ever you're just like me if you didn't have a pussy i'd think you were
00:53:11my son if you didn't have a pussy i think you were my dad oh busted come on orpheus get on the real real
00:53:20you never fucked a demon well okay there was just this one what was it like so we're in the bone
00:53:27zone i'm really finding my rhythm and suddenly she drops the oh let's move into my cottage made of
00:53:32tentacles and i was like peace out man i heard she really plumped up twinkies just jumped into her mouth
00:53:39what was her name i barely remember i believe it was uh hmm dermesa oh shit it's my face
00:53:47you deadbeat dad all this time i thought you were being held captive against your will
00:53:55i convinced myself that is why you never came home wait dima let's talk you're still gonna take us to
00:54:01kurt right i don't know where he is orpheus was supposed to have all the answers you lied of course
00:54:08i lied that's what demons do what a purple bitch how dare you say that to her someday she will be my
00:54:15purple wife i told you she was a liar oh yeah that's right because you're smarter than everybody
00:54:20i'm remy look at my weird haircut i wear a corduroy pea coat and listen to dubstep music well i'm tired
00:54:26of it women usually do that to me after i make love to them okay fuck him remy let's watch my sweet
00:54:33ass flat screen now they have the entire big mama's house trilogy
00:54:48you're pathetic you know that yeah where are you even going nowhere i was just looking for you
00:54:55i still think we can make a great team i don't know why you still believe in me i come from a lying
00:55:02demon and a selfish mortal doesn't change who you are my dad's like big jerk and my mom lied to him
00:55:08about being a woman okay um i don't know what to do with that augie but thanks for giving me another chance
00:55:15get in
00:55:28twitter alert from the demon union what does it say it's a reminder to tune in and watch the mortal
00:55:33sacrifice tonight at the crossroads that's where they're gonna sacrifice kurt do you know how to get
00:55:39there yeah it's really close to here big mama you fool them again would you fuck big mama yes would
00:55:49you bro dog i've every woman i've ever met except for that smoking angel bob she's the one that got
00:55:56away what happened she just wanted to be stupid friends i don't need friends anymore you know what i mean
00:56:03i need bros yeah you know what i'm saying man wake up see my bros in the bunk bed above me
00:56:09play video games then we order some za we eat it with all of our bros together high-fiving after
00:56:15each bite then we all take a together you have a bathroom with five toilets everyone making eye
00:56:20contact while reading maxim and the next day we do the same thing it's the way of the bro like you said
00:56:25well your way of the bro is a little different than mine but i hear you coming up tonight from the
00:56:31quickjet printer replacement cartridge stadium shirts and skins perform their latest single
00:56:36later mortal kurt myers will be sacrificed live shit kurt what's up we we gotta go go where brah
00:56:46orpheus we gotta save kurt huh come on that's what you do you rescue mortals from hell
00:56:51uh i ain't that guy anymore that's a young man's game what do you say one last mission
00:56:57sorry well then i gotta go on my own why he's not your friend man i'm your friend you just said
00:57:05it you wanted to bro out and stare at each other on toilets i'm sorry brother i guess i'm gonna go set
00:57:11five mirrors up in my bathroom and stare at myself as i make the forbidden mud
00:57:20to the crossroads pretend you're owned of florida
00:57:26of course his boat has a hole in it what a loser
00:57:29augie hey dame what's going on augie kurt's gonna be sacrificed we have to save him we're
00:57:42handling it thank you for your interest um why don't you guys get in my boat
00:57:48look man i know i was a dick just get in
00:57:56fine you want me to say it i suppose you earned it i i love you man i never realized how great my
00:58:04friends are until i had that stupid thought that i didn't blah blah blah blah blah middle part you know
00:58:10i haven't made it easy on you took it for granted big clothes i'll never make this mistake again
00:58:15i really need you dude i can't do this on my own you you need me yep
00:58:35to the crossroads
00:58:41you're on in one minute damn i hate public speaking anyone got a xanax hey hell is ours we
00:58:50own this place am i right right right i'm the devil get out there on that stage and start strutting that
00:58:56shit yeah hail zayton i give you the devil oh and uh kurt we couldn't find any other morals so we have to
00:59:05sacrifice you sorry whoa that's bullshit hold on wait wait wait hurts me more than uh okay thanks bye
00:59:14oh
00:59:23oh come on
00:59:33we are about to meet our sacrifice he's not just your average oath breaker he's a friendship
00:59:39forsake her oh you can't do this to me why not because we made a deal remember
00:59:48let me read it uh-huh boilerplate latin legalese read it out loud i will not sacrifice kurt if he
00:59:57helps me put on a real special show to impress barb the angel aha you're right it's all right here
01:00:06oh that is beautiful kurt yeah when is a contract not a contract when it's eaten
01:00:15uh-huh uh devil you are a piece of shit oh
01:00:24oh
01:00:24oh
01:00:25ha ha ha ha i guess your contract is now null and void
01:00:32you all right there devil sound a little gassy almost feels like i ate a bad burrito or something
01:00:38yikes not good demons continue with the sacrifice stomach let me introduce you to toilet
01:00:47you two should get a look great
01:00:52hey ow
01:00:57get off me man oh okay guys come on aww
01:01:00shit
01:01:11those demons want blood i know how this song ends
01:01:15no they're gonna kill him how do we get past those guards i got this one there's nothing hornier
01:01:21there's nothing near than a demon in hell
01:01:36oh
01:01:46oh
01:01:59Oh
01:02:13Kurt hey
01:02:17Wait what guys how the fuck did you get down here? We came down to save you. Yeah, what up?
01:02:24There's my sweet baby boy. Hey, oh mama missed you easy Augie who's she?
01:02:29The devil's coming back. That's gonna sacrifice me. You're gonna get me out of here. All right, let's go nobody mentioned anything about his diarrhea
01:02:41What the fuck are you doing
01:02:43um
01:02:56Keep the fan on in there. Well. Well, what do we have here? Um, can we get that bridge back?
01:03:03Yeah
01:03:05If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may have an enlarged prostate. Do you have difficulty urinating? Yes
01:03:11Weak stream. Yes dribbling. Yes painful urination. Yes. Pussy yellow discharge
01:03:18Yes, if you answered yes to all of these questions go immediately to the hospital. No
01:03:24Okay, in addition to one mortal we are also going to sacrifice that daughter of our fears
01:03:31Sing my daughter you want that Orpheem tough beans. Oh shit. I've got to save her
01:03:38Oh
01:03:40Fuck me
01:03:45Where the hell is my phone extra order of dipping sauce?
01:03:48Give me that
01:03:50Oh
01:03:52I
01:03:56Told you to stop calling me
01:03:58I know I know but I thought you'd like to know that I found the two mortals. You're looking for no way
01:04:05You're just saying this to get me to come down there
01:04:09How do I know prove it?
01:04:12I'll take a picture with my phone and send it to you
01:04:19What it's a dick pic
01:04:22Sorry wrong picture
01:04:23Sending
01:04:25Oh my devil it is the mortals
01:04:28I said I would find them for you and I did
01:04:31I'll be right there
01:04:32Get ready for some sweet devil loving
01:04:34Hello
01:04:37Shirts and skins you're next last rehearsal
01:04:39I'm a big fan. Oh, that's great man super cool. Yes
01:05:04Want me to sign something for you? Will you autograph my fist with your face?
01:05:08Ah sure man
01:05:09Hyah
01:05:11Oh
01:05:11God
01:05:12Oh shit God fuck me
01:05:15I came by to inform you that the concert has been rescheduled the good news is you're all still getting paid and laid
01:05:22Yes, oh fellas, please leave your costumes and there is an assortment of groupies waiting outside to suck your dicks
01:05:30Fuck yeah, dog
01:05:31My dick's gonna be a straw
01:05:32Word
01:05:34Okay, demons and damned before we sacrifice any mortals
01:05:39I'd like to introduce to you my favorite boy band
01:05:44Shirts and skins
01:05:45With a Z
01:05:47Woohoo
01:05:48Oh wow
01:05:50That's the way to do it
01:05:56What?
01:05:56That's just shirts where the fuck is skins
01:05:59Look I'm sorry the rest of the band is stuck in traffic
01:06:03So I'm gonna rock three times as hard
01:06:06As a young boy I found solace in the forest wild and free
01:06:16Till that fateful day youth was ripped away
01:06:19Neat the boughs of an old oak tree
01:06:21He wrapped his leaves around my fragile frame and thrust me to the grass
01:06:28Now my face did blanch as his mighty branch did penetrate my ass
01:06:34Now when a tree comes in the forest tell me do you think it makes a sound
01:06:40Do you think it makes a sound?
01:06:42No, you'll only hear the wail of a broken, tired lion
01:06:47But up on the ground
01:06:51My life and ass both splintered and my sphincter torn and loose
01:06:57So I mourn for my lost innocence
01:07:00And for all that's pure and good
01:07:04And I mourn the day I learn the painful meaning of
01:07:08Morning Wood
01:07:11Morning Wood
01:07:14Morning Wood
01:07:16Morning Wood
01:07:30What is this shit?
01:07:32Surprise, surprise
01:07:34It is I
01:07:38Orpheus
01:07:38You thought I was someone else but I'm not someone else
01:07:41I'm Orpheus the guy that you didn't think I was but I am now
01:07:46Yeah, I get it
01:07:47It's called a disguise
01:07:48You put it on I thought you were someone else
01:07:50No more explaining
01:07:52I can't believe you made it
01:07:53Yeah, you said you were retiring from saving mortals
01:07:56I did but I never said anything about retiring from saving half mortals
01:08:01Really? You came back here for me?
01:08:04Yes
01:08:05Look, I know I wasn't the best father and I wasn't around for you
01:08:09And I really regret that
01:08:12Dad, that's so sweet of you to say
01:08:15Yes
01:08:17Sweet lips
01:08:18Oh, oh, this isn't that
01:08:20Oh, I may have slightly misread that situation
01:08:23Yeah
01:08:24We haven't actually done a DNA test, so there's still a possibility that this isn't totally disgusting
01:08:30No
01:08:32No matter
01:08:33I love you, daughter
01:08:34Okay, let's get out of hell
01:08:39Everybody on
01:08:41What?
01:08:43Oh
01:08:45Give me that
01:08:47No
01:08:49No
01:08:51No
01:08:53No
01:08:55No
01:08:57Ha ha
01:08:59I win
01:09:01It's time for BAM the sacrifice
01:09:03No
01:09:05Look at him
01:09:17Oh
01:09:17Bob, the one that got away
01:09:19Oh
01:09:24Yeah, slutty angel she's on the wrong side of 40
01:09:37Wish I was that pole
01:09:39Oh
01:09:47Look here's your mortals
01:09:49What is that song about getting raped by trees it?
01:09:54It was so beautiful and personal
01:09:57Such a sensitive artist Barb. I'm a sensitive artist, too
01:10:01Look at the painting I did of you. It's a blacklight painting of me on a dune buggy
01:10:15Geez Louise
01:10:27Morpheus isn't going down easy here. She is
01:10:31We need more ammunition
01:10:33You're not gonna kill him are you?
01:10:35Start folding t-shirts
01:10:37You're scared
01:10:42Darling I've traveled many many miles to find you you have yes
01:10:48I've tried to fight off my feelings, but the head can't tell the heart where to go
01:10:52What do you say you me and my penis get hitched and fly off into the sunset?
01:10:56Aww
01:10:58The only thing that matters is, Barb
01:11:00Do you want to spend the rest of our life together?
01:11:02They all said
01:11:04That our love stood
01:11:06Not a chance
01:11:08That our hearts
01:11:10Could never keep it
01:11:12In their pens
01:11:14But when my penis
01:11:16Saw your sweet vagina
01:11:18Standing across the room
01:11:20What is this Jersey boys?
01:11:22My scrotum did a back flip
01:11:24And my lonely balls did swoon
01:11:26I hate musicals
01:11:28Mamma Mia wasn't bad
01:11:30Now it's clear
01:11:32That this love was meant to be
01:11:34My vagina
01:11:36My penis
01:11:38My penis
01:11:40You and me
01:11:41Stop singing
01:11:44Oh shit
01:11:46Oh no!
01:11:47The demons want blood
01:11:48We gotta get out of here
01:11:49Now! Hurry up
01:11:50Grab a fistful of white
01:11:51Hold on
01:11:52Load me up
01:11:56Wait for me
01:11:58Audrey
01:11:59Barb you gotta go back
01:12:00Grab on tubby
01:12:01You don't have to call me that
01:12:02Reach with your sausage fingers
01:12:04Come on honey
01:12:05Pretend we're made out of cookie dough
01:12:07I got it
01:12:08Go!
01:12:10Die
01:12:11Orpheus
01:12:14Look out
01:12:18Oh shit
01:12:19Barb
01:12:20Fucking t-shirt
01:12:23No!
01:12:25We're gaining speed
01:12:26We gotta wake her up
01:12:28She's out cold
01:12:29Barb
01:12:30Wake up
01:12:31Do something Remy
01:12:32Slap her harder
01:12:34Try the back of your hand
01:12:35Try the back of your hand
01:12:36Oh no!
01:12:37Oh no!
01:12:47Fuck me
01:12:48Ugh
01:12:49Ugh
01:12:50Ugh
01:12:51Ugh
01:13:00What's that sound?
01:13:02It's a sex offender alert
01:13:05Cool app
01:13:06Shh! Quiet!
01:13:07Run!
01:13:08Go go go go go!
01:13:23Holy shit
01:13:24These trees are alive man!
01:13:25Careful down here
01:13:26There are trees who think no means yes
01:13:28Just don't stop running
01:13:30Wait!
01:13:31Where's Barb?
01:13:32Where's Bob?
01:13:37Help!
01:13:39Help!
01:13:40I have to go back for Bob!
01:13:42Dad, no!
01:13:43We'll catch up to you!
01:13:46There! Head for the cave!
01:13:49I'm coming, Bob! Hold on!
01:13:52Were you trying to hit her, boss?
01:13:54I mean, you shot her right between the eyes.
01:13:57She's probably fine. She's an angel.
01:14:00It was a good shot.
01:14:03If you meant to hit her...
01:14:04Knock it off!
01:14:05Focus!
01:14:07Oof!
01:14:08What's that smell?
01:14:11True heroes.
01:14:13To have laid such a costly sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.
01:14:18Yeah.
01:14:19But that's what you get for chasing pussy.
01:14:23Ow!
01:14:23Stitching up your wing. This is the stitching up your wing song.
01:14:27Bob! Look out! Don't you touch her!
01:14:29What? No! I'm helping her!
01:14:32Oh, really?
01:14:35Orpheus?
01:14:36Tree.
01:14:38You look familiar.
01:14:48Orpheus!
01:14:49Orpheus!
01:14:51Yeah, it's me, you diddler.
01:14:53I always hoped I'd run into you someday.
01:14:55I bet you did.
01:14:57No, no, it's...
01:14:58It's not like that.
01:14:59I...
01:14:59I wanted to apologize for what I did to you.
01:15:02I'm sorry, he's just not going to cut it.
01:15:05Did you ever get my gift basket?
01:15:06No.
01:15:07You're kidding.
01:15:08I tracked the package.
01:15:09Mm-hmm.
01:15:10I understand your anger, but I've done a lot of work in therapy to get better.
01:15:14Is there anything I can do to make it right?
01:15:17When I find Orpheus, I'm going to mount his balls on a stick.
01:15:22There is one thing.
01:15:26Ah.
01:15:28Hey, tree!
01:15:30Have you seen an angel?
01:15:32I did, yes.
01:15:34Well, where is she?
01:15:36Um, she went that way.
01:15:42Oh, okay.
01:15:43Well, good to see you.
01:15:46Keep growing.
01:15:47Yeah, keep growing, tree!
01:15:49What do you want me to do to him?
01:15:52Shed your acorns across his back.
01:15:54My psychologist is going to kill me, but I'll do it.
01:16:00Let us escape to a secret place where I can motorboat those wings.
01:16:04You're so dirty.
01:16:09Hey, does anybody want to stop for some Red Bull and Crystal Meth smoothies?
01:16:14Oh, no!
01:16:15No!
01:16:16No!
01:16:16Oh, shit!
01:16:18Hold on!
01:16:19Like you didn't do last time!
01:16:21Quick, squirm!
01:16:22Come on!
01:16:23Grab on!
01:16:23Pull!
01:16:24No!
01:16:37Look, boss!
01:16:38Over there!
01:16:39Huh?
01:16:40There's movement.
01:16:41Let's go!
01:16:42What are you going to do to me?
01:16:44What do they want from me?
01:16:47No!
01:16:48No!
01:16:49No!
01:16:49They'll paint in the blanket.
01:16:51Uh, that tree is putting on lipstick.
01:16:55Ah!
01:16:56Kurt!
01:16:57Dima!
01:16:57Rami!
01:17:00Are you fucking serious?
01:17:02I hope that's for marshmallows.
01:17:03No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
01:17:06Hold on!
01:17:06Hold on!
01:17:11Yes!
01:17:15Bullseye!
01:17:16Oh!
01:17:17Bull!
01:17:19What the fuck?
01:17:21Ah!
01:17:22This is my house.
01:17:24You're going to screw with me?
01:17:25Ah!
01:17:25You had a mint the whole time?
01:17:41What?
01:17:42A mint!
01:17:43I didn't know it was there!
01:17:44It must have been stuck in the lining of my shirt, I swear!
01:17:46Who gives a shit about a stupid mint?
01:17:50A mint?
01:17:51Huh?
01:17:52Don't let him eat that mint!
01:17:53Oh, shit!
01:17:55That's it, Remy!
01:17:56Eat that mint!
01:17:57It's too late!
01:17:59I don't want your mint now!
01:18:00No, no!
01:18:00It's not about that!
01:18:01It'll reverse the curse!
01:18:03It'll get us out!
01:18:04Quick, man!
01:18:04Hurry up!
01:18:07Get me that mint!
01:18:08Come on!
01:18:10Put the whole thing in your mouth!
01:18:11Can't reach!
01:18:15Eat it!
01:18:15Get your lips around that mint!
01:18:17I've tried my whole life!
01:18:19Gulp it down!
01:18:20Take all of it down your throat!
01:18:22Make this sound when you do it!
01:18:24It helps!
01:18:25Take all your balls!
01:18:28Demon!
01:18:29Quick!
01:18:30Remy, eat it!
01:18:31Eat it!
01:18:31Hurry up!
01:18:40Remy!
01:18:40Hey!
01:18:41Yeah!
01:18:41You did it, man!
01:18:43Yeah!
01:18:44I can touch my deck with my tongue!
01:18:46Hey, Remy!
01:18:47Look!
01:18:48Huh?
01:18:49Holy shit!
01:18:50What?
01:18:51Ah!
01:18:52That portal's kind of scaring me, boss!
01:18:55Yeah, I'm thinking I'll just go back up top and call it a day!
01:18:58No, no!
01:19:02Okay, hold on!
01:19:04Don't let go!
01:19:06No!
01:19:07Yeah!
01:19:08No!
01:19:08No!
01:19:09No!
01:19:12Wait!
01:19:12Tell me where Barb is!
01:19:15No!
01:19:15No!
01:19:15No!
01:19:15No!
01:19:16No!
01:19:16No!
01:19:16Later, Devil!
01:19:17Wait, wait! No, no!
01:19:30Hello, devil.
01:19:32Huh?
01:19:33Care for some wine?
01:19:36No thanks, I'm okay.
01:19:38It's an earthly Bordeaux, and it pairs wonderfully with I'm going to rape you.
01:19:47Heh heh heh heh heh.
01:19:49Look, over there!
01:19:51It appears the better man has won.
01:19:54Don't worry, you'll still get a chance to be with her.
01:19:57I will?
01:19:58I'm going to go to Walgreens and buy a shitty devil mask and fuck her silly, while I wear it.
01:20:03Oh, don't! Oh, come on!
01:20:06Sorry, devil. I'm a pretty package with an ugly gift inside.
01:20:09Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
01:20:18Hail Satan.
01:20:21Hail Satan.
01:20:24Hail Satan.
01:20:32Holy shit!
01:20:34We're back!
01:20:35I love this place!
01:20:37Oh my god!
01:20:39We did it!
01:20:41God, I miss the smell of cotton candy!
01:20:43Auggie, you have a syringe stuck to your face.
01:20:47This place hasn't changed a bit.
01:20:49Definitely an opiate.
01:20:55Where have you guys been?
01:20:57Clem!
01:20:58Man, I'm happy to see you.
01:20:59What's going on here?
01:21:01Whose treasure is this?
01:21:03This book is amazing!
01:21:05The Devil is the new Jesus.
01:21:07Who knew? Devil tears sell better than dipping dots.
01:21:11Remy! Your ideal work!
01:21:13Yes! Oh my god, yes!
01:21:15Yes! We did it!
01:21:17Woohoo! What are we gonna do with all this money?
01:21:19Let's go! Let's go!
01:21:31One foot in front of the other
01:21:35I don't really wanna be oblivious
01:21:39Oblivious!
01:21:41No, no!
01:21:43We have a dead rồi!
01:21:45Come in!
01:21:47We're new to Tee!
01:21:48We are this kid!
01:21:50Come in!
01:21:51I love this!
01:21:52How are we going?
01:21:53I love this lady!
01:21:55Love you guys!
01:21:56I love thisbrow!
01:21:57I love it!
01:21:59I love it!
01:22:01Take a look at the food right now!
01:22:03See you next time longer!
01:22:05You are a loving boy!
01:22:06You are a loving boy!
01:22:08La la la, la la la la, hey now my sisters and fathers, do you really want to be oblivious, oblivious, where are all the clouds with the silver lining, have they blown away, oh where are all the clouds with the silver lining, have they blown away.
01:22:38Let me just push this button to get this escalator started up again, thank you.
01:22:46Oh yeah, that's right, there's no button, you start walking.
01:22:51So just walk up to the top of the hill?
01:22:52Yeah, there's no motor going to help you out here, you're just going to walk up that escalator.
01:22:56Is it something like it's a million miles long, the escalator?
01:22:59A million miles long, that's pretty good.
01:23:02That would be unpleasant.
01:23:03Yeah, that would be a real unpleasant, I only made it one story tall, um, but you're going to walk it, yeah, you're walking that old story.
01:23:12Understood.
01:23:12All 27 steps.
01:23:14Alright, here I go.
01:23:15How do you like that, huh?
01:23:16Not the best, not the best, I would have preferred if the escalator had been functioning.
01:23:20Welcome to hell.
01:23:21Hello again.
01:23:30Sit down.
01:23:31Alright, well, it's, um, just here in the booster seat?
01:23:33Yeah, like a baby.
01:23:34You're being punished in the booster seat.
01:23:37It's uncomfortable, I guess, a little bit.
01:23:38Just sit there like you're a crying baby.
01:23:40Did you need me to cry?
01:23:42Oh, there's end of the year evaluations.
01:23:44Gotcha, okay.
01:23:45Oh, booster seat!
01:23:47Why, I'm a man!
01:23:50It's good, throw in a juice box, see some more.
01:23:52Oh, I wish I had a juice box!
01:23:54No, you're not getting a juice box, no.
01:23:56Oh, please, just the one.
01:23:57Welcome to hell.
01:23:58We're going to die.
01:24:09We're the prime of liars on a hill
01:24:11Looking down to prey upon me
01:24:14We're blind and tired
01:24:15A kill is healed
01:24:17Explos, we know it won't be long
01:24:21Unless we all get up
01:24:24Before the dogs get sweet about us
01:24:26Let's rise to the top
01:24:30Before the cause gets put on a push
01:24:32Get some, get some, get some
01:24:37Get some, get some
01:24:40Get some, get some
01:24:43Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:24:46Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:24:49Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:24:52Here they come, here they come
01:24:55Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:24:58Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:25:01Oh, oh, oh, oh
01:25:04Get some, get some
01:25:07Let's, we all get up
01:25:12Before the cause gets read about us
01:25:14Let's rise to the top
01:25:17Before the cause gets put on a push
01:25:20Get some, get some, get some
01:25:25Get some, get some
01:25:27Get some, get some
01:25:31Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
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