- hace 2 semanas
Categoría
📺
TVTranscripción
00:08My name is Baldrick and this is my very own video diary about my latest adventure with Mr Blackadder.
00:36Having sorted the opening out, it's time to look behind the scenes at the exciting world of filmmaking.
00:45This is the catering wagon and they've put out my own special lunch.
00:52This is Thai curry. You can see all the bits of Thai people in it.
00:56This is a ligament, I think it's a thumb ligament.
01:01Look, that's a little pink bits of willy.
01:04Over here, there's a stew from some sort of animal.
01:08Don't know what it is, but...
01:12It's hamster! That's nice!
01:15Of course I've got special access to all my film friends.
01:27Hello, Stephen. Can you say something for my video diary?
01:32Leave me alone, you great mountain of yellow-headed puss!
01:37Off! Go away! Go on!
01:38Tim!
01:39Shoo!
01:39No!
01:41Mr Firth, can I...?
01:45Hey! What do you think you're doing here?
01:46Oh, hello. We're doing a bit of filming.
01:48Oh, go on. No, I don't want to go.
01:49Oi! No, let go!
01:50Ha!
01:51I thought that went quite well, really.
02:17Baldrick, why may I ask are you dressed like that?
02:19Would you like the short answer, my lord, or the long one?
02:23Oh, the short one, please.
02:24Whim.
02:26The short answer is whim.
02:29Yes, my lord.
02:31What out of interest was the long answer?
02:33It was a whim.
02:35I think Blackadder in the end is based on the fact that Rowan is very good indeed
02:39at playing extremely ferocious, tough characters.
02:44You're not eligible to vote.
02:46Why not?
02:47Because virtually no one is.
02:48Women, peasants, chimpanzees, lunatics, lords...
02:55That's not true. Lord Nelson's got a vote.
02:57He's got a boat, Baldrick.
03:00Your brain, for example, is so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open,
03:07wouldn't be enough inside to cover a small water biscuit.
03:10Thank you very much.
03:11As a reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday.
03:13Did you enjoy it?
03:15Right.
03:15Um, villains are always more fun to play than good guys.
03:20That's a well-known fact.
03:21Um, and, uh, I enjoy characters who have a vindictiveness in them.
03:29I always have done it. In the end, it's just more fun.
03:33Lieutenant, revolver, please.
03:34Oh, now, sir, you really shouldn't do this, you know.
03:37Come on, George, with 50,000 men getting killed a week, who's going to miss a pigeon?
03:42What was fun, I think, was that by the time we finished the fourth series,
03:45we'd got a bit into parodying ourselves.
03:48We were a bit saying, well, there's always one episode where we do this,
03:51or one episode where we do that, and Baldrick always says this, and Blackadder says that.
03:55And coming back to it after ten years, we'd forgotten some of that stuff,
03:58so it was a bit like starting afresh, which was fun.
04:01The strength of Blackadder had always been that it was just dialogue in one room,
04:07a very witty dialogue.
04:08So what we had to do was give it a sense that this was going to be a bigger treat
04:12than usual,
04:13and I hope we've pulled it off, I mean, because you get all the qualities of the old Blackadder,
04:17but on a kind of scale that is like a huge American movie.
04:25What can you see, Boulders?
04:27People in very short skirts, my lord.
04:30And the whole reason we wrote this section is to get them in increasingly short skirts.
04:37So that's Rowan, and Hugh's going to be, with any luck, two and a half inches shorter than that.
04:42And then Stephen's skirt is actually going to be above pant level.
04:48So that's what we spent the last hour rather pathetically talking about,
04:52how high boys' skirts can be.
04:55And that's the joke from this scene.
04:57I think that's it, although Stephen is talking in Latin.
05:00And I think he's finding that quite tricky.
05:02Yes.
05:03The Tarque Sinatoscopias a Britannia Revocari, and Cuitatum Nostrum Imperialum Defendum Constituate.
05:11Pardon me.
05:13Do you think they enjoyed all this dressy up in skirts and Roman kit?
05:21They're very attractive kits, aren't they? I think they do.
05:24Not as much as the interesting reconstructors who do it for fun at weekends, but there we go.
05:30Have you seen them yet?
05:31Of course, you've got to have marched 20 miles a day for a heck of a long time,
05:35been in the army for 25 years, fought heavy barbarians, and lived on army cooking,
05:39and that way you're either dead or you have huge muscular legs.
05:43You know, mine are, what can I say, aesthetic.
05:46Then, we're having an attack by Scottish hordes.
05:52Action!
06:11Excuse me.
06:12Excuse me.
06:13I just wanted to ask why the director picked genuine Scottish people.
06:18Because we're pretty vicious.
06:26177, take two. A camera.
06:28Action!
06:31Hold it, hold it, hold!
06:33F*** on!
06:44Great spirit of Jupiter!
06:46Outcome tourists, centuries ahead of theirs!
06:49Why, we have toilets!
06:50And wipe our bottoms with vinegar soaked sponges!
06:52Yes.
06:53And they wipe their bottoms with Roman soldiers.
06:56What's unusual about this is that this is on location and there's no audience apart from the crew.
07:02But the actual making the series was in, uh, we would do in front of, I don't know, sort of
07:08300 people and, uh, on the night, no matter how carefully you decided to, uh, assemble your, uh, this delicately
07:17drawn portrait of a particular character, on the night, given the fear and adrenaline, I just go, ah! And pull
07:23faces.
07:24Hurrah!
07:25Oh no!
07:26There I go again!
07:28Ha ha ha ha ha!
07:31Bravo!
07:32La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
07:36Whoa, row, row, you punt, gently down the stream.
07:39Belts off, trousers down, ears and life a scream.
07:43Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
07:44Fabulous.
07:45University education, you can't beat it.
07:47The interesting thing is that Melch is very like Hugh and George is very like me.
07:52It's funny how that happens.
07:53There is a difference between the Elizabethan Melch, if you've not cared to find one.
07:58He's a little bit quiet there.
08:01I like to think there is from within.
08:04He's rather more suave.
08:09They shout.
08:10Whereas the later Melch, it just goes,
08:19Excellent native Cockney waiter.
08:23Okay, ready? Here we go.
08:25It's called a clever person's board.
08:30These are called clever person's boards and they are for clever people to read.
08:35Ah, pay attention, come on.
08:36But my news is Rome, on all sides, is being attacked.
08:42Passive, you'll notice.
08:44But the emperor does nothing but poison his mother and marry his horse.
08:51Roll, please.
08:52162, take 7, pick up, aye, Cameron?
09:03Do you see?
09:09Did you hear that, boys?
09:11No, my lord.
09:21Sometimes you laugh at things that you shouldn't be laughing.
09:23Like, sometimes Rowan stumbles on a line.
09:27And we shouldn't laugh at that, but we do.
09:31Brilliant.
09:32Just brilliant.
09:33Wow, Centurion.
09:34We are facing a horde of ginger maniacs with wild goats.
09:38No, no, dash, blast.
09:41Steven turns up as a Roman in the shortest skirt where he skirts, up here, in a nappy.
09:47And it's always wonderful when you actually can't call cut because you're giggling so much.
09:53Give me one, eh?
09:55After three years of sub-zero temperatures, at last a sufficiently warm climate to allow my wedding tackle to descend
10:01from my armpits.
10:02Well, I did think you're in there.
10:07And of course you can go horribly wrong.
10:08It's a pretty mercurial thing of film crew.
10:10And you can have horrible days where nothing goes right and everyone gets very bad tempered.
10:14Except me, strangely.
10:16And almost endless patience and love of my fellow man.
10:19Action!
10:20Last one there gets hacked to pieces by Ron Stewart's great-great-grandfather.
10:33Excuse me.
10:33Yeah?
10:34Is it time for my interview yet?
10:36Well, I've got a few other things to do first.
10:38I'm free now.
10:39No.
10:39I've got a little window.
10:42It's well absolutely yummy now.
10:45And looks tall like a turd.
10:47Ah, what a pity.
11:05And action!
11:07Ah, Lord Blackadder.
11:09Your Majesty.
11:10Why are you looking so strange?
11:12You're wearing very weird clothes.
11:15And you're looking rather old and ugly, actually.
11:18It took us forever finding Miranda.
11:20We interviewed, it seemed, every woman between the ages of 18 and 36.
11:26And we'd written a very shallow part.
11:29And Miranda, who's an extraordinary and weird performer,
11:33came in and gave it all this strange depth and mystery and violence and lunacy and childishness
11:38and stuff like that.
11:39So we changed it a lot for her, but cast her.
11:43Belchie?
11:44Ma'am?
11:44Edmund has been very cheeky.
11:46Shall I laugh at him or chop his ugly head off?
11:50I think Elizabeth likes him because he can actually
11:53wheedle his, well, while his way out of a tricky situation, you know.
11:58She sets traps for him all the time.
12:01A present?
12:02Ah, yes, certainly, Your Majesty.
12:05She surrounds herself with his court of basically fawning
12:09people.
12:09So she has a support system.
12:11There's, you know, the nurse who can talk to her like she's three.
12:15Girls are normally called Elizabeth.
12:18Or Mary.
12:19And Donald.
12:20Mouth is open, Nursey should be shut.
12:22That is true, sweet one.
12:23I had three sisters and they were called Donald, Eric and Basil.
12:27Then why is your name, Nursey?
12:28That is my real name.
12:30Isn't it?
12:30No.
12:31What is your real name then?
12:32Ah, Bernard.
12:36She's just a daft old e-e-e-gint really.
12:39And she sits there and she loves her little babby.
12:41You know, she's like a mother hen by proxy and all the rest of it, isn't she?
12:46Scatological mind, but she doesn't obviously realise it is.
12:49It's natural to her talk about po-po's and things.
12:53You almost were a boy, my little cherry pip.
12:55What?
12:56Yeah.
12:57Out you popped out of your mummy's tumkin and everyone shouted,
13:00it's a boy, it's a boy.
13:02And then someone said, but it hasn't got a winkle.
13:05And then I said, a boy without a winkle?
13:07God be praised, it's a miracle, a boy without a winkle.
13:14Melch, it's like a sort of, you know, a vuncular advisor who is incredibly vulnerable.
13:22Nice try, Melchie, but it's no use.
13:25I'm still bald.
13:27Well, I'm very sorry, madam.
13:29Your royal father used to be very amused by my impersonation of Columbus.
13:34Built a flat halfway up her bottom.
13:36He spent his time flattering her, but also terrified at any moment.
13:40She would suddenly order his head chopped off,
13:42because she might think it would look nice on the end of a pike,
13:45because she's that kind of a girl.
13:47Grey, I suspect, Majesty.
13:50I think you'll find it was orange, Lord Melchard.
13:53Grey is more usual, ma'am.
13:56Whose queen?
13:59There were these magnificent orange elephants.
14:04She loves to, she loves to tease them.
14:07It's usually the tease of the blade.
14:10Go forth and bring back lots more minty things in the next five minutes,
14:17or I'll come after you and crush your skull like an egg.
14:35Do you know what an arse head is?
14:37I've got a vague idea, my lord.
14:39Well, it's someone whose head looks like an arse,
14:42and out of whose mouth come things that resemble things that come out of an arse.
14:46Oh, right.
14:48So what are you boring?
14:49Sounds very much to me, my lord, after weighing up all the forensic evidence,
14:53that I am, in fact, an arse head.
14:57That's right.
15:03Oh, I'm so sorry.
15:07I am sorry.
15:10Wait a minute.
15:12You're not.
15:13Colin Firth has actually refused to do all sorts of things for me throughout his career,
15:19so we thought we'd pay him back by having the shit kicked out of him by round.
15:24It all happened extremely suddenly.
15:26Yeah.
15:28That is for every schoolboy and schoolgirl for the next 400 years.
15:33So suddenly that I'm a little bit suspicious of how far down the list of choices I was, really.
15:37I know Colin thinks that he was low on the list, but it was only, I think he was,
15:44you know, he would have been, he was definitely in the top 20, down the bottom of the top 20,
15:49so it could have been worse.
15:51Oh, and now that is for Ken Branner's endless uncut four-hour version of Hamlet.
16:00Who's Ken Branner?
16:02I'll tell him you said that, and I think he'll be very hurt.
16:06These are the worst 30 seconds of Shakespeare's life.
16:12Robin by name, Robin by nature, Robin babes of their bras,
16:16the rich of their cash, and everyone else in the UK,
16:18the chance to be the coolest cat in the kingdom.
16:21Made Marion, we needed someone new, so we thought we'd pick the best looking woman in Britain,
16:26nay the world.
16:27I am snogging Robin Hood.
16:35And then...
16:40This is the first thing I've done I'm just doing, because I couldn't say no.
16:44It's because it's Black Adam.
16:47Gorgeous.
16:49Ding dong.
16:52Chaos theory tells us that if a butterfly so much as breaks wind, it could cause a cataclysm.
16:58Blimey, we'd better be careful then, my lord, because when Robin Hood appeared back there,
17:02I let one go that will have killed every woodland creature for a hundred yards behind me.
17:07Well, exactly.
17:10Hello, I'm all prepared now.
17:11Yeah, all right.
17:12Well, I will come and get you.
17:13Yeah, well, would you like to do it now?
17:15Because, er, I could, er, I could just, er...
17:17Yeah, all right.
17:18Thanks a lot.
17:18I'll come and get you.
17:23What's happening, my lord?
17:25Well, oh, the words oh and bugger would seem to be appropriate.
17:31One of the places in which they find themselves is in the company of this incredibly convincing dinosaur.
17:39We could afford a head and a leg, er, nothing in between.
17:41But it's very frightening from the inside of the time machine.
17:47Yeah, it didn't go up.
17:49It needs to go up immediately in the air as well.
17:53So the head's going up too late.
17:55Baldrick is the hero of the day, um, with, er, a terrifying secret weapon.
18:02My pants.
18:04They are a little bit whiffy, aren't they?
18:07Sorry about that.
18:08Action.
18:09The underpants go in.
18:11One, we start sniffing.
18:13Two, we start going up with the mouth open and three, we're away.
18:27Okay, and action.
18:36One, two, three.
18:37Back in, back in, back in.
18:39Big bounce.
18:42Pull the dinosaur out, come forward, guys.
18:48Head up a little bit if you can.
18:50One, two, three.
18:53Okay, and cut.
18:54Cut it there.
18:55Okay, good, I've got enough of that.
18:56Good.
18:57Very nice.
18:58Well done, everyone.
18:58Very good, very, very good.
19:00The great joy of doing it for the big screen is to be able to do stuff fantastically.
19:04You know, we didn't have many dinosaurs in Blackadder or spaceships or huge rampant armies.
19:11So all of that was great fun.
19:13I slipped my skin!
19:23You know, this is not sophisticated humour, but it makes you laugh every single time.
19:28I don't know what it is about our underpants and especially if they're rotten, dirty and smelly.
19:33My grandfather loved them so much, he never took them off for his entire life.
19:38And then my dad wore them for his entire life, and now I've worn them for mine.
19:43And they do have a lovely bouquet.
19:45Do you want to have a smell?
19:47Would you like?
19:48Can we put something for the underpants to lie on?
19:54Hurry on, hurry on.
19:55Slightly more forward on the O'Bugger line, is that possible?
19:58Taking dampness off very slightly.
20:07It's very sunny.
20:12The lovely uniform today, by the way.
20:14Oh, thank you.
20:15I think it works.
20:32The French are portrayed in this scene today as being vaguely effeminate.
20:39Whoops, whoops, whoops, whoops.
20:41Yeah, whoops, whoops, whoops, whoops.
20:44That call us whips, whoopsies.
20:48Action!
20:50My Emperor, I, the Duke of the Darlene, bring news.
20:53The English have reached Waterloo.
20:55Good, prepare to attack.
20:57Very well.
20:58May I just ask, why do we want to invade Britain in the first place?
21:03We invade, darling, because the British think they are so tough.
21:07They think we French are sissies.
21:09They call us weeds and whoopsies and big girls' blouses.
21:12With respect, my Emperor, we are whoopsies.
21:26Reality check.
21:28Watches off.
21:29Watches off.
21:30Sarge.
21:31Earrings out.
21:32Earrings out.
21:33Earrings out, sir.
21:34Willie's in.
21:35Willie's in.
21:36Willie's in, Sargeant.
21:37Good.
21:38It's all right to go.
21:39Tim McInerney has to do two accents in the course of two minutes,
21:42which is very, um, shattering for him as an actor.
21:45Perhaps we could teach them ballet,
21:47and then they will pull all their huge muscles and not be able to fight.
21:52Your Grace, the French are approaching.
21:54Excellent.
21:54I have a superb plan which cannot fail but results in the complete destruction of the French army.
21:59Yeah, splendid.
22:00Well, tell me at once, Your Grace, and I'll spread the news to the troops.
22:03Richard and Ben had always, um, written him as Captain Cartwright,
22:07because they couldn't think of a name that was funny and also characterful, uh, but was,
22:14but also believable.
22:15Tim couldn't quite fix on the character,
22:18and then Stephen thought of this idea of calling him Darling,
22:21which is, in fact, quite ironic that Stephen should have done,
22:23because there was actually a boy at my school called Darling who had a most awful life.
22:26Just popped into my head that he ought to have a, a name.
22:29All right, all right, all right.
22:31I'll deal with this, Darling.
22:32Tim being the one of latter years, as soon as he,
22:35you know, we did a few things of trying out calling him Darling,
22:38and Blackadder coming in saying, Morning, Darling.
22:40He just developed a twitch in his left eye and, and the mannerism and a whole character was born.
22:45What the hell are you playing at, Darling?
22:47Don't be ridiculous, Darling.
22:49I did invent this, this, this, this twitch where it's a nervous tick, really.
22:53I mean, he's not even, uh, he doesn't even know he's got it, really.
22:56Um, but it does get worse at moments of tension, particularly with Blackadder.
22:59Good morning, Captain Darling.
23:01How are you feeling, Darling?
23:02Cup of coffee, Darling.
23:03What do you want, Darling?
23:07It's Captain Darling to you.
23:09Having done it for, uh, six weeks, it then took me, I think it was two months to get rid
23:13of it.
23:14There's a lovely and convenient misunderstanding that because Ben has a reputation for kind of knob
23:20gags, that it must be me, the quieter of the pair, who is the great historical expert.
23:26Whereas, in fact, it's the other way around. I write knob gags to please Ben, um, because I know
23:30they make him laugh and Ben is just couldn't be brighter about history and knows all about it.
23:35I don't know that I even know who won the battle of Waterloo.
23:40But anyway, well, the plan is, god, I'm brilliant, you know, I surprise myself sometimes, I really do.
23:45Yeah. The plan is to allow the French to come within a hundred yards of us and then, and this
23:50is
23:51the completely original and brilliant part, yes, then, I could do my interview in there.
24:00That's fine, don't worry, I will come and get you.
24:03Well, I'm free, I'll service you whenever you like.
24:06Yeah, no, that's fine, thanks a lot. Just want a movie out of the way.
24:09Not, you're not now?
24:10Yeah, thanks a lot.
24:12You know, the great shortage in our industry is, is writers, rather than people who can perform funny
24:20stuff. There are lots of funny actors about, very, very few funny writers, or very, very few
24:25writers with whom one feels a personal and professional empathy. And I feel it obviously
24:32fantastically with, with, with Richard, you know, you know, whenever I read anything which he's written
24:37for me, I just want to do it. I know I can do it. I know it's right for me.
24:42I know it's appropriate.
24:48He has a kind of, um, I would say as a musical attitude to his lines. He, he kind of
24:54knows if
24:55they're properly written exactly how he wants to say them, exactly what the rhythm of a line is.
25:01He has perfect pitch. He can get the perfect delivery.
25:04Right, Baldrick, let's try again, shall we? This is called adding. If I have two beans,
25:11and then I add two more beans, what do I have? Some beans. Yes and no. Let's try again, shall
25:23we?
25:23I have two beans, then I add two more beans. What does that make? A very small casserole.
25:31Baldrick, the ape creatures of the Indus have mastered this. It's therefore quite frustrating
25:36for him because when he doesn't quite get it, um, he won't accept it. Whereas many other people would
25:40say, well, that's pretty damn good. Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest breakthrough in travel
25:45since Mr. Oh, hello. Sir Pat. Rowan has heard the perfect tune and so when he gets a syllable wrong,
25:54it's like a flat oboe in the corner of the orchestra. He just can't
25:57live with it and he's horribly distracted by having made a tiny mistake.
26:01Yeah, my suggestion would, would be that actually Tim on it, you sure don't expect to be like,
26:06uh, actually kind of march forward. We've always made a lot of changes in rehearsal,
26:11um, because, um, you know, the standard set by John Lloyd was that we should try and make
26:16every single line as funny as we could. Ben writes in a very focused, punchy manner,
26:28uh, and he writes very well, you know, for, for the kind of, you know, characters and,
26:34and attitudes that I think I can present. You look sweet as a little pie.
26:41Kate, he looks like what he is, a dung ball in a dress.
26:44And the same dread hovers over the moment when you reach one of those stupid similes and he goes,
26:49I'm as stupid as. And you think, oh no, this is going to take me an hour and a half.
26:54And Ben's
26:54going to say it's not funny. God, you really are as thick as clotted cream that's been left out by
27:01some clot until the clots are so clotted up you couldn't unclot them with an electric de-clotter.
27:07Aren't you, Baldrick? This is as exciting as discovering that due to an administrative error,
27:13the new boy in the dorm is actually a girl with a big chest, a sense of adventure, and no
27:18pants.
27:20Okay, and action. One, take two.
27:36Take three. Take four. Take five. Well done, Baldrick. I'm, oh no, I'm so sorry. Okay. Well done, Baldrick.
27:54I'm so proud of you, I'm going to give you a wage rise. Thank you very much, my lord.
27:59Well, perhaps not, oh, oh, oh, no.
28:08Well done, Baldrick. I'm so proud of you, I'm going to give you a wage rise. Thank you very much,
28:14my lord.
28:15Well, not all year, obviously, but you know, at Christmas time.
28:20Well, perhaps not extra money, but you know, some chocolates or something.
28:24A chocolate.
28:26After I've had a little nibble of it myself.
28:28Thank you very much, my lord. Good.
28:37Should we meet now? Yeah, okay.
28:38I'm really excited about this.
28:40All right, great, okay.
28:41Do I look all right? No, absolutely fine.
28:42I'm smart enough. No problem at all.
28:44Can I tell them that story about Stephen Fry and the thermostores?
28:47Yeah, I'll give you a cue when we're all ready.
28:48It's very funny.
28:49Okay. All right.
28:50Right, are we running?
28:51Speed.
28:52Speed.
28:52Okay, go.
29:01Let joy fill every Britain's heart.
29:06For now our country's going to make it.
29:10At last a king looks the part.
29:15At last a queen looks good naked.
29:19Blackadder, Blackadder, a monarch with panache.
29:28Blackadder, Blackadder, he's got a nice moustache.
Comentarios