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  • 5 months ago
On this episode of How Two Love, we meet couples in quarantine figuring out how to make things work in this new environment. From communication advice to keeping the fire alive, they break down how their relationships have changed. Watch this episode for some relationship insight!

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Transcript
00:00We went on our first date, that was March 5th, and then shelter in place started March 17th.
00:07So we've only been on like five dates before we decided to move in together.
00:14At one point, we were all strangers, and then we became roommates.
00:18We went from being literally on other parts of the country to being in a 500 square foot, one bedroom
00:25apartment overnight, basically.
00:27We got engaged on the first day of quarantine.
00:30We wanted a big beautiful wedding.
00:32Tomorrow actually is our anniversary.
00:34We're going to go out for a nice dinner.
00:36Yeah, we're going to go out for a nice dinner down the hall.
00:39We've been together for eight years.
00:42Six years.
00:44We've been married, this year will be 30, no, 35 years.
00:50I know you want to make it longer, I don't blame you.
00:52We're currently quarantined in Paris, France.
00:54We're quarantining here in Salt Lake City, Utah.
00:56We are joining you from Wolfborough, New Hampshire.
01:03We did the virtual dating thing for about a week, and I think on day two is when Zana was
01:09like, you know what, we should just quarantine together.
01:11This would be way easier.
01:12It was getting a little bit too much.
01:14We both work totally full time.
01:16He's 18 months old, so as you can see, he's being great, but he's a lot.
01:20So we really just needed help.
01:22For quarantine, I was in Seattle working on a solo show.
01:27And then I went to visit Raja to see his show in Seattle, and then things got crazy.
01:33Charlotte was supposed to be visiting me for her spring break from school when everything got shut down.
01:39And so she decided it wasn't a good idea to fly back to Florida.
01:48The best part about being with your family while you're quarantined is being with your family while you're quarantined.
02:03Just to have somebody who understands you, who shares a sense of humor, who shares similar interests, and who just
02:10loves you for who you are, to have them around during a time like this is the best thing.
02:17I suppose the worst thing is sometimes when you're too close, there can be more functional issues like temperature.
02:23I am actually sleeping separately in a camp bed, let's say one out of three or four nights because someone
02:30gets too warm and so we have to turn the fan on.
02:34I don't even know if this is necessarily a bad thing.
02:37I don't get to miss her during the day.
02:39The worst part is that we have to work.
02:43The best part about being quarantined together, I would say Patrick's a really good cook.
02:47We've been cooking so much.
02:48Now, like that I'm home and I don't have a lot to do, when I throw down in the kitchen,
02:52I'm like, yes, I'm so excited.
02:54I get to like serve you food to provide for one another during this time in a space that we've
02:59created.
02:59It's really exciting.
03:04I hope your parents don't watch this video.
03:07When you say keep it fresh.
03:10This dress actually.
03:12Like I wore this dress one day and I was like, let's go.
03:15We downloaded this like app that is like a sex exploration app.
03:20I did a lot of exercises about like exploring your body or just having conversations.
03:25Be unreliable.
03:26Don't do the same thing twice.
03:28That is a lesson I teach in theater and in dance.
03:31And I just have to say it also relates to the relationship.
03:39Communication is like, it's so much easier for us now.
03:42It's really nice to be able to actually build, like you carve out lifetime memories together and not have to
03:49ask about the other's life.
03:51Yeah.
03:51I think that was one of the big concerns early on is just, it doesn't matter who I'm with for
03:57this amount of time.
03:58They're probably going to hate me and I'm probably going to hate them.
04:02Luckily, we haven't gotten there yet.
04:04But I think one of the reasons why is because we are giving each other enough space.
04:09We're learning more about the other person's perspective and kind of just like coming to a middle ground and just
04:15like conflict resolution that feels pretty healthy.
04:17I know that if I come into the room and she like might look at me and smile, I know
04:22like, okay, she's working.
04:23I'm not going to like start up a convo.
04:25Just going to get my seltzer and carry on.
04:30Using words the way that they're meant to be used is very important to me and something that we talk
04:35about a lot.
04:36And I will challenge you on how you're communicating with me if you want me to actually understand what you're
04:42saying.
04:43Yeah.
04:44I'm awful to be with, obviously.
04:50It's rare in any scenario that you would spend more than a week with your in-laws at a beach
04:57house or, you know, away for a winter vacation.
05:01It's nice.
05:02I honestly have been pleasantly surprised.
05:04And I'm not pinching him or anything.
05:05Yeah.
05:06I'm only holding this wooden thing.
05:08When you have someone who loves you in a really uncomplicated way, having that foundational support of like trust and
05:19love and kindness, it just makes the rest of your life possible.
05:24Patrick always feels like the best days are still ahead, no matter what.
05:29Like he just doesn't get bogged down.
05:32And so I think I have just learned how strong that sense of optimism about the future, I guess, how
05:39strong that is, even when it feels like the world is crumbling down.
05:43I think like one thing that we've done a super nice job of is just like being open minded and
05:48like taking things a day at a time and like really enjoying the moment.
05:51If it feels right and things are going well, then like lean into that and don't think about too much
05:55else.
05:55Yeah.
05:55Yeah.
05:56And then like what's the worst that can happen?
05:58Like worst case scenario, you've tried something and you will have a funny story to tell your friends.
06:04But like worst case scenario, Ubers will be there and you just leave.
06:09So just taking a risk can pay off.
06:12So I would definitely suggest whoever is considering it, just try it.
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