- há 2 dias
Categoria
😹
DivertimentoTranscrição
00:02Brace! Brace!
00:03Eu estou bracing!
00:12Não, não, não!
00:18Não!
00:23Ah!
00:25O que?
00:30A CIDADE NO BRASIL
00:33CREATIVES
00:36AND WELCOME!
00:37Eu Greg Davies e This is Taskmaster.
00:40In my quest to ensure the tasks we set are righteous challenges,
00:43I have attempted to consult with many wise people of influence.
00:46Ursula von der Leyen's people said she was too busy to meet.
00:50I discovered to my great dismay that Nelson Mandela
00:52was no longer with us.
00:54And the Dalai Lama was especially insistent
00:57he would not grant me an audience.
00:58It was left to 90s film star Steven Seagal to give me the advice
01:03that became the foundation for the whole series.
01:05In a 90-minute Zoom call, he only said two words.
01:09Break them.
01:12Let's meet those about to be broken.
01:14They are Frankie Boyle,
01:16Ivo Graham,
01:19Jenny Eclair,
01:21Pai El Smith-Baino,
01:23and Manny Martin.
01:27And next to me, a man who told me he doesn't know much about politics,
01:31but he thinks that poor people should stop moaning
01:33and pull their flipping fingers out.
01:36It's...
01:36Little Alex Ward!
01:42Hello, everyone.
01:44So, here we are. What are we chatting about?
01:46Well, I thought I might just answer a couple of the viewers' emails,
01:48if that's all right. Yep.
01:49They keep flooding in, these questions.
01:51Thanks for your message, Maxine.
01:52Yes, the iPad is real, it controls the screen
01:55and also the heating in Greg's throne.
01:58Patricia, you win this week's cash prize, £40,
02:01because you were the only one who correctly located my third nipple.
02:04Well, you can see it if you want.
02:05There.
02:06And that's the end of my section.
02:08Yes!
02:10Yes.
02:14Let's click on the prize task.
02:16OK.
02:17Yes, please. On we go.
02:18I can't bloody wait.
02:19And for show three, they've each brought in
02:21what they think is the most heroic thing.
02:25OK?
02:26Greg's going to judge them.
02:27And the most heroic thing should get five points,
02:29as long as he doesn't go all wacky with his scoring.
02:32Nine points!
02:33No, one point!
02:34I don't know, everyone can have 17 points.
02:35He's a wonderful boss.
02:38Of the episode, we'll of course take home all five heroic things.
02:41Yowzers!
02:44Ivo, how are you?
02:45I'm extremely well.
02:46Great.
02:46I'm excited about this prize, if I may.
02:48I've handcrafted a model of your face out of Hero's chocolates.
02:53Yes?
02:53Looks like someone's got himself five sweet points, I would say.
02:57Let's have a look, though.
02:58I would have a look.
02:59Here it is.
03:00Five.
03:01LAUGHTER
03:08It's a pretty strong oak, no, to have my face made out of chocolates.
03:14Heroic.
03:14Heroic.
03:15And you're my hero.
03:16Yeah.
03:17Oh.
03:18Now then.
03:19Bit desperate, that, but you've got to get everything you can
03:22before he starts talking to someone else.
03:25Hello, Jenny.
03:26What have you brought in?
03:27OK, the biggest hero in my life was my father, who's now dead.
03:31So, obviously, I get some points for that.
03:33Um, and I've got somebody's DNA, I've brought his DNA in.
03:37Here it is.
03:38Jenny Eclair's father's DNA.
03:39It's his hair.
03:41Oh, God.
03:42LAUGHTER
03:43How the hell can I score a chocolate face above this?
03:47LAUGHTER
03:48It's a...
03:48It's an incredible prize task.
03:51Incredible.
03:52In the truest sense of the word.
03:54Kael.
03:56OK, so...
03:57LAUGHTER
03:57Actually, before that, if you do get a point for a dead dad,
04:01count me in.
04:03LAUGHTER
04:04LAUGHTER
04:05LAUGHTER
04:06Is your dead dad anything to do with this heroic task?
04:10It can be, if it helps.
04:12LAUGHTER
04:14Do you want me to press the button?
04:15Yeah, yeah.
04:15Right, Kael's brought in this.
04:18LAUGHTER
04:19It's a cape made out of a sheep, made out of Julio Iglesias' son's face.
04:25And that's Enrique.
04:27LAUGHTER
04:28LAUGHTER
04:30Unusual way of introducing Enrique Iglesias.
04:33LAUGHTER
04:34Talk about why this is heroic.
04:36Um, cos he can be your hero baby.
04:39Oh, it's quite a literal thing, cos he did the song.
04:42LAUGHTER
04:46Sometimes the simple ideas come through and win.
04:48Mm-hm.
04:49Sometimes.
04:49Sometimes.
04:51Not always.
04:53LAUGHTER
04:54Who's next funky?
04:55You all right?
04:55I have brought in this, erm, superhero fan art.
04:59OK.
05:00Deep breath, ready?
05:01HE SIGHS
05:03So it's Wolverine and Captain America.
05:07LAUGHTER
05:20Why, er, why is this heroic?
05:22I know that they're literally heroes.
05:24This is a huge step forward.
05:26Yeah, that's right.
05:26We had a gay Superman from DC last year, which I love the idea of.
05:32It's just, it's just that things have to be approached carefully with the gay superhero.
05:36Cos if you've got a blowjob off, Superman he might suck you and say, don't.
05:40LAUGHTER
05:40Do you think Frankie wants to be part of this show?
05:43LAUGHTER
05:45I mean, there is a fair amount of fan fiction in this show, anyway,
05:48about you and I, Greg.
05:49Yeah, there is.
05:50Do you know that?
05:50There's just lots of stories imagining Alex and I as lovers online.
05:55LAUGHTER
05:56Some of the titles are I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship.
06:00LAUGHTER
06:00Filthy Little Ferret.
06:02Tenderness.
06:03Masterness of the...
06:04Master of the...
06:05Hang on, hang on, let me just enjoy Filthy Little Ferret.
06:08LAUGHTER
06:09LAUGHTER
06:11Hello, mate.
06:12Let's go.
06:13A hero is somebody that looks out for the little guy, you know what I mean?
06:18Yeah, I do.
06:18So, with that in mind, I've created and designed, um, the coward's glasses.
06:24Phew.
06:25This one's safe.
06:26These are the coward's glasses.
06:29Oh, thank God.
06:29OK, so, wait, so, let's say Ivo is on a date and he's with a brave woman.
06:35LAUGHTER
06:36Just your go-to coward.
06:38LAUGHTER
06:39LAUGHTER
06:40So, let's say he's, like, he's trying to impress his dad, Frankie,
06:45by being tough and they're, like, watching a football game and he's scared
06:48someone's going to get injured and you want to close your eyes, you flip down the glasses...
06:52..like this.
06:54LAUGHTER
06:55Nobody can tell that you're...that you're a coward.
06:58Everyone can tell.
07:00LAUGHTER
07:00All right, you have to judge now, Greg.
07:02I'll go from the top to the bottom.
07:04I think you should.
07:05Right.
07:06LAUGHTER
07:08LAUGHTER
07:10Um, obviously, Jenny's father, RIP, gets five points.
07:14Five points for Jenny and Claire!
07:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:17Good work, good work.
07:20Now, then.
07:21Let's put the hero sculpture above the, um, above Wolverine.
07:26Oh, all right, so, four points to Ivo, three to Frankie.
07:28Yeah, that's correct.
07:29APPLAUSE
07:30Yeah? Yeah.
07:33APPLAUSE
07:33So, it's just between the glasses...
07:37..and that shit cape.
07:39Right.
07:40LAUGHTER
07:41I don't think mine's that shit.
07:42I don't think mine's that shit.
07:44And I designed them myself.
07:45You didn't, um, you didn't make that cape.
07:47I think you did make those glasses.
07:49I did.
07:50Two points to May, one point to Claire.
07:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
07:52We're done, there we go.
07:54APPLAUSE
07:54One point to Claire.
07:56Well done, Greg.
07:58Let's have a task.
07:59You did really well, Greg.
08:01Thank you.
08:01Good boy.
08:02And if you maintain a herb garden, this one's for you,
08:05because it involves some careful and dedicated time-keeping.
08:09Oh, get fun.
08:10LAUGHTER
08:27Hi.
08:28Hello, mate.
08:29Hello.
08:30Have fun in my house.
08:31Thank you.
08:32Hi, Al.
08:33What?
08:34You may enter my fun palace.
08:36Sick.
08:38Oh, it's damp in here, isn't it?
08:41Eh?
08:42Eh?
08:42Damp.
08:45Do you like it?
08:46It's very nice.
08:51Exit the caravan exactly 20 minutes after you entered the caravan.
08:56Also, to complete the task, you must write down and say 40 words.
09:01Each word must either be the same length or shorter than the previous word.
09:10Closest to exactly 20 minutes wins.
09:15When do we go?
09:16When do we start?
09:16Well, it started when you entered the damp caravan.
09:18Oh, what?
09:18It started already?
09:19Is this a minute?
09:20Are these minutes?
09:21Oh, I don't know.
09:23LAUGHTER
09:24The problem is, while you're working out your method,
09:30time is passing inexactly.
09:33It's doing its best.
09:37APPLAUSE
09:43I think it's pretty straightforward.
09:45Yes, it is.
09:45So I'm sort of quite keen to crack on.
09:47Shall we?
09:47Yes.
09:48And up first, it's the two people for whom time moves quickest,
09:52because they are older than the others.
09:54LAUGHTER
09:56It's Jenny and Frankie, of course.
09:58Here we go.
10:00Well, having been a stand-up comedian for a lot of years,
10:04where we worked in 20-minute sets,
10:06maybe I know what 20 minutes is.
10:08So I'm going to trust my internal clock for that,
10:12and I'm going to find a pen.
10:14Right, I'm going to concentrate on the words, so 40 words.
10:17You're concentrating on that rather than the time?
10:19Yeah.
10:19Yeah.
10:21I'm trying to think of a 20-minute stand-up set.
10:23Oh, that's a good idea.
10:25Progression.
10:26I'm going for at the top, so that's...
10:2911.
10:30What's your first word there, Jenny?
10:32Imagination.
10:33Lovely.
10:36Progressive was also 11.
10:38I've just thought of something.
10:40Well, it doesn't say it can't be the same word.
10:43It could be the same word done 40 times.
10:47How long have you been in the caravan?
10:49I reckon five minutes.
10:53Which word are you going to write down 40 times?
10:55Well, I like imagination.
10:57It's slightly ironic writing imagination.
10:59Yeah, I know.
11:03How many words have we done?
11:06Nine.
11:06Nine.
11:07OK.
11:07I suppose the real one is this is going to take a lot of long.
11:12How much time have I got left?
11:13How much time do you think you've got there?
11:15About 12 minutes.
11:19Can I check how long you've been in the caravan for?
11:21I reckon I've been here about nine minutes.
11:24The crowd are just starting to turn ugly.
11:26That'll be nine minutes then.
11:28Yeah.
11:29How much time have I got left?
11:31How much time have you got left?
11:31You ask me again?
11:32Yeah.
11:33Right, no, I still can't tell you.
11:34I thought I might catch you off guard.
11:36Always on guard.
11:37This isn't working, is it?
11:39Well, it's indoors.
11:40Oh, does that make no difference?
11:44I'll do the 40 words now.
11:46Imagination, imagination, imagination.
11:49Imagination, imagination, imagination.
11:50Jolly, lolly, sorry, silly, willy.
11:54I thought about not going from silly to willy.
11:56I tried to stop myself, but I circled back.
11:59Imagination, imagination.
12:01Lamp, rams, ram, no.
12:04Imagination, imagination, broken.
12:09Powerful.
12:11Right, that's either 20-ish or I've panicked at 17.
12:17I reckon I've done 20 minutes.
12:19OK.
12:20I think that that's a 20-minute set at the Bearcat Club 1993.
12:25Thank you very much.
12:26Let's hear it, Jenny Clare.
12:27Yeah!
12:30I think I might have done half an hour.
12:32I've always outstayed my welcome.
12:35I disagree.
12:35I'm very sorry.
12:36Bye-bye.
12:36Bye-bye.
12:40APPLAUSE
12:45It's quite a big thing in the world of stand-up,
12:46getting the 20 minutes right.
12:48And it would appear at least one person's internal clock
12:51is bang on still.
12:52Yeah, neither of them used any of the timekeeping devices
12:55that we...
12:55I didn't even notice there were any there.
12:57No, you didn't, no.
12:58You didn't need them.
12:59It's sort of terrifying how accurate you are.
13:01He walked out on 23 minutes 21.
13:05Wow.
13:05It's not bad.
13:06And what do I call?
13:08Very good.
13:08Very good.
13:09What about Jenny Clare at the Bearcat circa 1993?
13:13Yes, well, she feared the worst.
13:15She feared she'd done half an hour.
13:16In fact, it was 10 minutes 57.
13:19No!
13:20No!
13:22Ten minutes?
13:24Is that all I did?
13:25Just over.
13:25I got bored of myself, didn't I?
13:28Oh, I'm so sorry.
13:30Oh.
13:32It's time for May and Kyle.
13:38No idea how to use one of them.
13:42Ooh.
13:43That's interesting.
13:45That leads me to believe there may be a...
13:48clock hidden somewhere.
13:52Oh.
13:55What have you got there?
13:57Number of...
13:58Maybe I can see something from here.
14:01Uh-huh.
14:02What are you looking at?
14:05Not much, do you?
14:06Can I step in the sink?
14:08Yeah, you can step in the sink.
14:10Oh, yeah.
14:11So, right now it's 1.31.
14:14Right.
14:15So, I want it when that long hand is about here.
14:19Is that how clocks work?
14:21Same length.
14:22Or shorter.
14:23What, in letters or syllables?
14:25That's up to you, I suppose.
14:28You know what I could do?
14:29Look in a book.
14:29I could look in a...
14:30If there's a book around.
14:31Yeah, there are books around.
14:32They're full of words.
14:34Licentiousness.
14:36Licentiousness.
14:39How many letters has the word balloon got?
14:41Is this a joke?
14:45Misanthropic.
14:46Profiteroles?
14:471920.
14:48I have to pick it up and I'm going to check on the...
14:50We're going up, are we?
14:51Yeah.
14:53Uh-oh.
14:56It's not moving.
14:58The clock's not moving.
14:59The clock's not moving?
15:00No.
15:01Right.
15:02Really annoyed that cameraman just took his watch off.
15:05That's going to cause some problems.
15:07Did you spot a cameraman's watch?
15:09Yeah.
15:10It's gone now.
15:12Don't come now.
15:14You're in there.
15:17Right.
15:19What happens now?
15:20I think I've been in here about 20 minutes.
15:23I really do think so.
15:24I've got to write some more words down fast
15:26and then I'll get out of here, I think.
15:29Outrageous, I'm writing.
15:30We're all right.
15:32Humiliate.
15:3540 words!
15:37Vile.
15:38Oh, this is taking too long.
15:40Dress, cross, point, course, badge.
15:43Stop the clock, please.
15:45Get me out of here!
15:52Thank you, Kyle.
15:54Thank you.
16:03How does it make you feel that Alex would mount a clock that doesn't work on the roof of the
16:07caravan?
16:07Now, I need to point out here, the clock was working but it rained during May's attempt and then stopped
16:12working.
16:13Oh!
16:13I thought it was one of your sneaky things that makes you go all fizzy under your duvet.
16:21I was outraged.
16:22Shall I tell you how long they spent in the caravan?
16:25Tell me how long they spent in the caravan.
16:27OK.
16:27Well, remember that Frankie was just over 23 minutes.
16:32Yeah.
16:32Kael, 24 minutes, 20.
16:34Ah, good.
16:35May left the caravan in 19 minutes and 48 seconds.
16:42That's pretty impressive.
16:45That is a tight set.
16:47Next, it's Ivo.
16:49So, let's say we've had 80 seconds.
16:56Probably had two minutes now.
16:59Broken the skull.
17:03What are you doing?
17:04I'm looking for something that measures time in the caravan.
17:07Oh, OK.
17:08Sorry, because I've had three minutes now.
17:11Oh, I can just work out what unit of time one of these is.
17:15Of course.
17:17One Mississippi.
17:18Two Mississippi.
17:20Three Mississippi.
17:21Eight Mississippi.
17:23Forty Mississippi.
17:24Twenty-one Mississippi.
17:26Five Mississippi.
17:27Forty-eight Mississippi.
17:28It looks like it's a minute.
17:29Right.
17:29So, that's a minute.
17:34I can't check it again.
17:37Let's see if it's a set of multi-coloured one-minute egg timers.
17:44One Mississippi.
17:45Two Mississippi.
17:47Thirty Mississippi.
17:48Forty Mississippi.
17:49Thirty-five Mississippi.
17:51Thirty-nine Mississippi.
17:55Forty Mississippi.
17:57Forty-one Mississippi.
17:59Forty-two Mississippi.
18:00That's only 45 seconds.
18:01These ones are still going.
18:03There are ways of working this out.
18:06Maybe that is a minute.
18:08I can't put you through the Mississippi again.
18:14I lost camp.
18:16I was doing a silent round of Mississippi's.
18:23There's a clock on the roof.
18:27It's not making it easier.
18:33We're getting quite close to exiting the caravan.
18:38Excuse me.
18:40What's the time?
18:4325 past five.
18:4525 past five.
18:45Thank you.
18:48So, at 30 minutes into the task, it was 5.25.
18:51So, the task will finish at 5.32.
18:54Better let's get on with these words, though.
18:57Establishment.
18:58Establishing.
18:59That's a minute.
19:01Taps.
19:02Tops.
19:02Hits.
19:03That's another minute.
19:05Pest.
19:06Post.
19:08That's 40.
19:11Excuse me.
19:13What's the exact time, please?
19:165.30.
19:17Thank you.
19:19We'll just have one more of those, I think.
19:22Nearly there.
19:23It's now 5.32.
19:25It's been 20 minutes.
19:31I think it went brilliantly.
19:43Sometimes confidence is all it takes, isn't it?
19:47With the wisdom of hindsight, do you regret the Mississippi system?
19:51Yes.
19:53Obviously quite galling to watch four videos of the other contestants not using the egg timers at all.
19:59Knowing quite how emotionally dependent on them I became.
20:03But then, he very cleverly opted for screaming at golfers.
20:07Screaming at golfers.
20:08He thinks it went brilliantly.
20:11He does?
20:12Yeah.
20:12You know what, I agree.
20:14What?
20:14It did go pretty brilliantly.
20:16May, of course, 1948.
20:17Frankie, 23-21.
20:19Ivo, 23-17.
20:21It's not bad.
20:22Oh.
20:24But you let him to believe he'd won.
20:28I did, but that's partly because there's a little bit of extra admin.
20:32I looked at the word length again for some of the contestants.
20:35Yeah.
20:35I've got to show you this.
20:37Each word had to be the same length or shorter than the previous.
20:40Yes.
20:41I don't need this.
20:44Painfully, schoolmaster, principal.
20:46Confessions, disturbing, outrageous, humiliate, canonise, wealthy.
20:50Balloon.
20:51Crisps.
20:52Dress, cross, point, course, bash.
20:56Lose, bet, mice, shoot, clap.
20:58Egg, wet, cat, dog, hat, vex, hat.
21:02Also, Kyle only did 39 words, so...
21:06On a number of counts, Kyle is out.
21:08May, interestingly, went for the length of word by syllable, not letters.
21:13Yes.
21:14Humiliate is definitely longer than outrageous.
21:17I can't believe that's the word, too.
21:19Yeah.
21:21You guys don't know how you pronounce that word in Canada.
21:24Ah.
21:24How do you pronounce it in Canada?
21:26With a letter missing.
21:29Is it like aluminum?
21:30It's like humiliate.
21:35Is Kyle going to defend his 39 words, including mice being shorter than vet?
21:40Well, it is in height.
21:44What it does incredibly mean is that Jenny, with ten minutes, gets three points.
21:51Zero to May, zero to Kyle.
21:53Frankie gets four, but Ivor wins the task and five points.
21:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:01I'd like a scoreboard, please, Alex.
22:03Of course you would.
22:04Kyle is weirdly on just one point after two tasks.
22:08Ivo on nine.
22:09He's in the lead.
22:09There we go.
22:10Wow.
22:13More tasks, please.
22:15Right.
22:16Belt up, Greg.
22:17Here we go.
22:41Hello, Alex.
22:42Hello, Ivo.
22:45Hello, Frankie.
22:47Hiya.
22:48Hello, May.
22:49Please stand in the dangerous hole.
22:50Lovely.
22:52Whoa!
22:53Gotcha!
22:54Oh, this is very exciting.
22:56It's sort of industrial chic, innit?
22:59Yes, it's very dangerous.
23:00Oh, wow.
23:02Oh, my goodness.
23:03Yeah, it's so dangerous, you have to wear this potato hat.
23:06OK, OK, right.
23:08Based on my knowledge of my head, this isn't going to fit.
23:12How does it look?
23:13Well, it looks tremendous.
23:14Thank you.
23:15Look, there's spuds and little animals.
23:18I don't think I've seen you this excited before.
23:20I find this terribly thrilling, I really do.
23:23Would you like me to read this?
23:25Yes.
23:32Catch the potatoes in the potato hat.
23:36You must be sitting on the catching stool wearing your potato hat,
23:40and you must not touch anything at any point.
23:43Not touch anything.
23:44And you must not touch anything at any point.
23:47Anything in your hat that is not a potato will be subtracted
23:51from your potato-total.
23:54Anything in your hat that is not a potato
23:56will be subtracted from your potato-total.
23:59Highest potato...
24:01Potato-tal?
24:02Potato-tal.
24:03Potato-tal.
24:03Highest potato-tal wins.
24:06The conveyor belt will start moving in three minutes from now.
24:11OK.
24:11Fuck!
24:12Oh, this sounds brilliant.
24:14I'll be so bad at this.
24:21APPLAUSE
24:23Who of the five do you think would most likely wear the potato hat anyway?
24:29In free time?
24:30After three?
24:31One, two, three...
24:32Jenny.
24:33You're clear.
24:34It was one of the best moments of my life, this next task.
24:38I just thought it was great.
24:40I can't recommend it enough.
24:41Someone else at home!
24:43God, what a laugh!
24:45Come on, then.
24:45Let's see these potato-hatted goons.
24:47All right.
24:48First of the goons, it's Jenny, Frankie and Kael.
24:51Now, then, I've got three minutes to sort of think about this.
24:55I see.
24:56I should memorise the order.
24:58Not-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot-pot...
25:00disappear.
25:02Not-pot-pot-pot-pot...
25:10Miss three...
25:11And then I go,
25:13Not-pot-pot-pot...
25:14Not-not-pot-pot...
25:16Would I have allowed a piece of paper and a pencil?
25:19Se você gostou.
25:21Eu tenho a pen ou algo?
25:23Knot, pot, pot, not, not, not, pot.
25:26Potato, potato, not, not, not.
25:29Turning it on in 30 seconds.
25:32Okie doke.
25:33This is terribly exciting.
25:36I want to miss the first one, so I'm leaning out.
25:38Once that goes, I'll spring into action.
25:40OK.
25:41I'm going to turn on the machine in five seconds, Kyle.
25:43Yep.
25:44Knot, pot.
25:46Good luck.
25:47Thank you.
25:47And here we go.
25:50Oh!
25:51Here comes the one to miss.
25:53Where is he?
25:55Is that me?
25:56First of all, it's not.
25:58Hot.
25:59Hot.
26:00Oh, I fucking...
26:01They're not going in the fucking hat.
26:05Huh?
26:07No.
26:09Ah!
26:10Ah!
26:10Ah!
26:11Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
26:15-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
26:21Pretty much the potatoes are the only thing that don't go in the hat.
26:26Not...
26:27Not...
26:28Ah!
26:28That is...
26:29That's the knot.
26:30And now these two are.
26:32Not...
26:33Where are we in your sequence?
26:35I might wet myself.
26:37I don't know...
26:38I've got so much fun in these!
26:40Oh.
26:41Oh, another one?
26:42Oh, sick!
26:44Ah, gosh!
26:45What was it...
26:46What was that?
26:47Do you still remember the pattern, Kyle?
26:48Yeah, but like...
26:49It's finished now.
26:50Não, não é?
26:51Não, não é?
26:53Não, não é?
26:53Tem muita coisa lá.
26:54Tem muita coisa lá.
26:56Tem que ir até o que eu saí.
26:59Não, não é?
27:00Oh, Deus.
27:02Tem!
27:02Que salto-potato-y.
27:05Não quero ver a última.
27:07Eu estou feliz para ter ação do que tem ação do que ação do que ação do que ação.
27:10Como é o sistema?
27:11O sistema é...
27:13Oh, que é?
27:15Oh, não, é?
27:17Não, não é?
27:17Não, não é?
27:18Não, não é?
27:19Não, não é?
27:22E que foi a última, não é?
27:24Fim.
27:25Muito, obrigado.
27:26Obrigado, obrigado.
27:27Obrigado.
27:27Dizendo de me uma data hat.
27:31Slightly desiapointing to me.
27:34Oh, man.
27:35Eu, eu, você pode praticamente comer que isso.
27:37Isso não é muito bom.
27:38Cheque, tá?
27:40Muito cheque.
27:41Achei.
27:45Achei.
27:46Achei.
27:49Achei.
27:50Achei.
27:50Eu não sei onde para começar, realmente.
27:53Foi um...
27:54um...
27:56um...
27:58Caio, como você foi confiante?
28:00Eu era assim...
28:01Eu era assim...
28:02E eu era confiante que ninguém teria pensado sobre esse processo.
28:05E eles realmente não tinham.
28:07E, antes de eu sentar, eu era assim...
28:09Eu vim.
28:13Não lembro de eles, não!
28:14Não lembro de eles, não lembro de eles, não lembro de eles.
28:16E não lembro de eles, não lembro de eles, e isso foi um triculo.
28:17Mas, se você fosse um triculo, então, se você fosse um triculo,
28:22então, você poderia ter reclamado a glória.
28:24Sim, agora você falou.
28:27Ok, então, o que?
28:28Achei, que acabou de colocar o seu triculo de tudo,
28:3221 pocais e 23 pocais.
28:36A pocais total de menos 2!
28:39O que foi?
28:39Ah, bom!
28:44Bom, bom!
28:44Aplausos!
28:44Positive potato for os outros dois.
28:46Sim.
28:46Cael, 22 potatoes, 19 nottatos.
28:49Jenny, 10 potatoes, 6 nottatos.
28:52So, Jenny, 4, Cael, 3.
28:54Frankie, minus 2, at this stage.
28:56Oh, Deus, é 10.
28:57Bem played!
28:58Well played!
28:59So can't!
29:01APPLAUSE
29:02Serious stuff.
29:03But now for two top hat Tato titans.
29:06Hopefully it's May and Ivo.
29:08No, yes, yes.
29:10No, no, no, yes.
29:12No, yes, yes.
29:13No, no, no.
29:15No, yes, yes.
29:17No, no, no, yes.
29:18No, no, no, yes.
29:19No, yes, yes.
29:21I just... I can't learn it in time.
29:23One minute. Have you got a pen?
29:25Do you want a pen?
29:25Yes, please.
29:26Oh, no, I can't touch anything at any point.
29:28You'll be sitting there facing forwards.
29:32Hey, what are those?
29:34No, yes, yes.
29:36No, no, no, yes.
29:38There they are!
29:39Yes!
29:40Davis is the potato.
29:42No, hang on.
29:46Davis...
29:47Here it goes.
29:55No!
29:56No!
29:57No!
29:58No!
29:59There's the potato.
30:01There's not a potato.
30:02Two potatoes, please.
30:04Oh, I've lost it.
30:06Yes.
30:07Yes.
30:08No.
30:10No, that was yes.
30:11No!
30:13Back on the no potato.
30:15Back on the no potato.
30:15I've got...
30:16I mean, I've got no idea now, obviously.
30:17So that's a potato.
30:18That's a potato.
30:20That's a potato.
30:20That's not a potato.
30:21So we're...
30:21We've just had a double potato.
30:24What a waste of time the three minutes before this were.
30:27What a complete waste of time.
30:29Yes.
30:31Yes.
30:32No.
30:34No.
30:35Yes.
30:36No.
30:38Yes.
30:39No.
30:40Yes.
30:41I can't recover this now.
30:44No.
30:46Yes.
30:47Yes.
30:49Yes.
30:49Look, there's a pattern there as well.
30:51Well, may we follow the pattern?
30:52Yeah, but...
30:53So that's a potato.
30:54So that means...
30:57There's probably...
31:00No.
31:02No.
31:03No.
31:03I lost it.
31:04Yes.
31:05I think it might be my least favourite task.
31:07Of the whole thing.
31:09Like, just...
31:10What is...
31:10What...
31:11What...
31:11And we should all be ashamed.
31:13That's your lot.
31:15I think I've done pretty well.
31:18So did anything you planned work?
31:20No.
31:21No.
31:21But I don't care.
31:23Because it's so stupid.
31:33It's so promising now, Ivo, right?
31:35Yeah.
31:36You cracked the system.
31:37Yeah.
31:37I love to squander promise.
31:41So Ivo refused the pen because he thought if you touched a pen, you'd be disqualified.
31:46You're not meant to touch anything.
31:47Obviously, Frankie and Jenny did touch a pen.
31:49How do you feel about that?
31:50Oh, God, in heaven, I can't bear this.
31:53No, she's doing that right.
31:56I don't want to know.
31:58Oh, no.
32:00It was one of the happiest days of my life and now you want to spoil it.
32:04And who touched it?
32:06Yeah.
32:08Well, shall I tell you how Ivo and May did first?
32:11Yeah, yeah, and I'll make a call on it afterwards.
32:13OK.
32:14May, they cracked the system and stuck to it and didn't get phased by the pattern repeating like Ivo did.
32:19There was no panic.
32:20Seven animals in the hat, but 22 potatoes.
32:24APPLAUSE
32:27Ivo, on the other hand...
32:29Yeah.
32:30Eleven potatoes, ten animals, potato total, one.
32:33Positive.
32:33Right.
32:34It's a positive score.
32:39APPLAUSE
32:39So, without the pen problem...
32:42Yes.
32:42..it would be one point to Frankie, two to Ivo, three to Kael, four to Jenny and five.
32:46It's definitely five points to Mae Martin.
32:49APPLAUSE
32:53Are we changing the numbers?
32:54On this occasion, we'll let it slide.
32:57What?!
33:08Can I have a task featuring my favourite type of thing, please, Alex?
33:12Ooh, do you mean unreasonable and prolonged violence?
33:14Yes, please.
33:15All yours.
33:29Oh, dear.
33:32It's a shame you got hit.
33:33Yeah.
33:33Hello, Mae.
33:34Hello.
33:34Hello, Jenny.
33:35Hello.
33:36Hi, Kyle.
33:37Yo.
33:37Hi.
33:38Hello, Ivo.
33:39Hello, Alex.
33:40This is Frankie.
33:42Hello.
33:43Are you all ready?
33:44Yeah.
33:44Ish.
33:45Are you ready?
33:47Very ready.
33:48Here it comes.
33:53Oh!
33:56Oh!
33:58Oh!
33:58Well, it nut-hate.
34:00Yeah.
34:01Back to you.
34:02Watch out!
34:05Choreograph the most elaborate and enthralling fight scene,
34:09then perform it in slow motion.
34:11Your fight scene must take five minutes and will then be sped out.
34:15up so that it lasts one minute.
34:16You have a total of 30 minutes.
34:18Your time starts now.
34:21How about you fight both of us?
34:24Well, you come at me together?
34:26Yeah.
34:27OK.
34:27OK.
34:28Right.
34:29How's your fight?
34:31I am weak and cowardly, so I'm very happy to take the role of victim.
34:38OK.
34:39Whoa!
34:40Wow.
34:40That's pretty good.
34:41That's one thing I can do.
34:43Yeah.
34:43My initial thought is we start hand-to-hand and then move to weapons.
34:48Um, yeah.
34:49Yeah.
34:50You said at every task.
34:52APPLAUSE
34:59Well, I'm very much looking forward to this.
35:01I thought that the introduction from Ivo and Frankie
35:03looked like the world's most sinister children's show.
35:08Welcome to the caravan.
35:13Hello, children.
35:14We're going to be making some stuff with gaffer tits, Dick.
35:18LAUGHTER
35:20Is it time to fight?
35:21Yes.
35:22I'm very much looking forward to seeing hand-to-hand followed by weapons.
35:26The first fight of the night sees Kael and May bravely taking on Jenny Eclair.
35:31Yeah.
35:48Hmm.
35:56Oh, God!
35:59Yeah.
35:59Ah!
36:16Oh
36:31O que é isso?
36:33Oh!
36:34Isso era um bad idea!
36:38Oh, no!
36:43Oh!
36:48I had plans for this evening.
36:58I'm very interested to drill down into the narrative of your fight,
37:01if that's... OK.
37:03Who were you? You're just a lady... I was a baddie.
37:05An arty... You were the baddie?
37:07Supervillain. Oh, yes.
37:09Yeah.
37:09You snuck up on the supervillain in the shed,
37:12but she came out of her snooze,
37:14she opened the door and knocked you both out briefly.
37:16She humulated us.
37:18Yeah.
37:23Now it's Frankie Boyle versus Ivo Grayon.
37:26PHONE RINGS
37:31Oh, hello.
37:36No.
37:37Please, hello.
37:38No.
37:39Hello.
37:49No.
38:02No!
38:05No!
38:05No!
38:05No!
38:05No!
38:05No!
38:06No!
38:06Yeah!
38:16A CIDADE NO BRASIL
38:37I mean, it was powerful.
38:39Frankie was the taskmaster in a different universe, is that right?
38:43There was a bailiff coming to evict Ivo.
38:46And then Ivo seemed to call in some kind of clone army.
38:50A couple of whom were my actual children.
38:53Your actual children?
38:54My actual children who, let's be honest, put the boot in.
38:59It was such a lovely moment when Frankie Boyle's children
39:02agreed to help beat him up.
39:04LAUGHTER
39:05The criteria were the most elaborate and enthralling fight scene wins.
39:09Right. Well, they were both elaborate and they were both...
39:12Both of them enthralled me, one slightly more than the other.
39:15Ah.
39:16But I'm going to give them both high marks for this.
39:18Oh! I'm going to give Frankie and Ivo five. Congratulations.
39:20But I really love Daz as well, so I'm going to give them four.
39:24I can cope with that. Five points and four points!
39:27APPLAUSE
39:32Let's have a quick look at the scores.
39:34Of course. Oh, you won't believe it.
39:36Two people have got twice as many points as Kael.
39:39Their joint leaders, Ivo and Jenny, both have 16 points!
39:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:44Here we go, then. Please take the stage for the final task of the show!
39:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:55Looks like a scene from a modern-day Oliver.
39:58Who's going to read the task out?
40:00Kael Smith-Bynow is going to read the task out, please.
40:03Know the most facts about sausages.
40:06LAUGHTER
40:07If you have 100 seconds to learn some facts about sausages,
40:11best score in the sausage exam wins.
40:14LAUGHTER
40:15Inside their desks, they've got a sausage fact sheet.
40:18They've got 100 seconds to look at it and learn it,
40:21and then Greg Davis will host the sausage exam.
40:25LAUGHTER
40:26Hello, Frankie.
40:27If we already know quite a lot about sausages...
40:30LAUGHTER
40:30..do we have to recuse ourselves?
40:33The more pre-knowledge you have, the better, Frankie.
40:34OK, so 100 seconds to learn your sausage facts.
40:38And those seconds start...
40:40WHISTLE BLOWS
40:40Sausage!
40:51What's Frankie writing down?
40:52I think this is his preparation.
40:55Oh!
40:56LAUGHTER
41:07Please put your facts away, put your facts away,
41:09please put your facts away.
41:10Back in the box, please. Back in the box.
41:11Back there go.
41:12More writing.
41:13Right.
41:14It's time for the sausage exam.
41:16Ding, ding!
41:19LAUGHTER
41:21OK, here we go.
41:23Question one.
41:24What was the first name of the sausage queen of 1955?
41:29If you know the answer, please keep it to yourself.
41:33LAUGHTER
41:35Question number two.
41:36How did Queen Victoria like the meat in her sausage?
41:41LAUGHTER
41:43LAUGHTER
41:45LAUGHTER
41:45Question three.
41:46What is the minimum meat content of a pork sausage in the United Kingdom?
41:52So we're looking for a percentage there.
41:55Question four.
41:56What nationality is a democracy sausage?
41:59Mm.
42:00All right.
42:01All right.
42:02All right.
42:02It wasn't suggested.
42:03And finally, question five.
42:06What is the casing of a sausage traditionally made from?
42:13Ding, ding!
42:14WHISTLE BLOWS
42:14Ding, ding!
42:15WHISTLE BLOWS
42:16Board's down, please, board's down!
42:18APPLAUSE
42:20Display the boards on the front of the desk, please.
42:22They hang on the front.
42:23Yes.
42:24Lovely stuff.
42:25Well, I'm going to ask Ivo to give me the correct answers.
42:29Would you mind handing me the correct answers, Ivo?
42:32Do you think you know where they are?
42:34Swat?
42:36You know what you did.
42:37I know what I did.
42:38And it was pretty swatty.
42:42Here's the sausage facts.
42:44And here is a sentence saying,
42:46Jean chopped 42 Australian intestines.
42:49Oh!
42:49Oh!
42:50Oh, my God!
42:54OK.
42:55Here are the scores.
43:01A small observation.
43:03Kyle looks genuinely furious.
43:06LAUGHTER
43:08Again.
43:08So, we'll add all those up.
43:10We'll add them to your final scores.
43:11Please come down and join me!
43:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:21How did the sausage exam go?
43:23Yes.
43:24Ivo was the only one who turned the exam paper over.
43:26You should always do that.
43:27Always turn it over.
43:28Well, that's not true.
43:29I also turned the exam paper over.
43:30I thought...
43:32I thought it was going to be a secret question.
43:35And that was going to be the answer to the last question.
43:42Well, I can tell you that in the series, because of all this,
43:46Kyle is now last by quite some distance.
43:50This episode, well, well, well, for the second show in a row,
43:54Ivo Graham is the winner with 21 points!
43:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:08So, what have we learnt today?
44:11If you get wrapped up in the stresses and strains of life,
44:14perhaps you've been humiliated at work.
44:16Take a moment, breathe, revisit this show,
44:19and enjoy this beautiful moment all over a gap.
44:22HE LAUGHS
44:26HE LAUGHS
44:27HE LAUGHS
44:28HE LAUGHS
44:29HE LAUGHS
44:29HE LAUGHS
44:30HE LAUGHS
44:32APPLAUSE
44:32We can't go yet.
44:35Not to have celebrated tonight's winner one more time.
44:38It's Ivo Graham!
44:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:49THEY nämlises
44:50YOU DO, THE WORKS
44:50AND CALL
44:50AND THEN NEED AMERICAN
44:51I wanna step one,여x嗎,
45:12WILLING YOU ANDailing
Comentários