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00:33Hello.
00:37Here we go then.
00:39Welcome to the Series 14 Taskmaster Grand Final!
00:44.
00:45.
00:45.
00:46.
00:48.
00:50.
00:50Like we only say this, and right now I'm so high on adrenaline I could jump over a car, what
00:54a series we've had. What a cast, what memories. In many ways, I'm sad to see them go, but if
01:01this being over means there's half a chance that I'll stop singing
01:03Me Van Brady, me Van Brady in my head all day, every day, they're good with us to all of
01:08them.
01:09Very soon, one of them will lift aloft this golden effigy of my delicious head
01:15and become Taskmaster Champion and realise in that moment
01:19that like the trophy they hold, the victory is truly hollow.
01:24So, let us meet the legends for the last time.
01:29Please welcome Dara Aubrey!
01:33Sean Brady!
01:36Jean Perle!
01:39Munya Chihuahua!
01:41And Sarah Millican!
01:46And next to me, a man I'm proud to call my best friend.
01:51If all my other friends go down in an awful maritime disaster,
01:56I include peripheral friends, like friends of friends, even what?
02:00Perished or gone, who's left? It's my best friend!
02:04Little Alex Hall!
02:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:12Prize task time, you fleshy little giblet!
02:15Nice one, you big manatee in a suit or something.
02:19LAUGHTER
02:21It's the last prize task of the series and you've asked them to bring in the thing of yours that
02:26the Taskmaster would most like to own.
02:28Oh, it's a very personal choice for me.
02:31It is. The person that has brought in the thing that Greg would most like to own will get five
02:35big points to kick off their final.
02:37And at the end of the episode, the winner will probably have to hand over all the things to Greg
02:40because he'll want to own them.
02:42And let's face it, who's going to argue with this thing?
02:45LAUGHTER
02:46Hi Sarah, what have you brought in that you think I might like to own?
02:49Erm, so, erm, I was thinking about you and thinking about what you have and what you may lack, er,
02:55in your life.
02:56Er, so I think you have power, er, you have money.
03:00But what you don't have that I do have is likeability.
03:04What?!
03:05LAUGHTER
03:10I brought in, er, a book to represent it.
03:14The science of likeability.
03:16Do you think in my role as a Taskmaster that likeability would help?
03:19No, but maybe in your personal life.
03:22LAUGHTER
03:23It's like she wants to lose.
03:25LAUGHTER
03:27Hi Fern.
03:28Hello, I've brought you magical tarot cards.
03:31Here are the tarot cards.
03:34So this wasn't even what I was going to bring in.
03:36I was going to bring you in this, er, spray that turns your hair brown.
03:40Then...
03:41LAUGHTER
03:46I mean, so far it's been a very unsettling round.
03:49LAUGHTER
03:49And then I did a reading.
03:51You're not going to believe what came up in the reading and I didn't make this up.
03:55The first picture, five people battling it out with sticks.
04:00That's us.
04:01LAUGHTER
04:02The middle one, that card means childlike joy and a sense of freedom.
04:07The final card, I mean, do I even need to say anything?
04:11LAUGHTER
04:11Who do you think that is in the final card?
04:14What, the disgusting big fat demon on top of the box?
04:17Greg, I'm not making it up.
04:19This came up when I did a reading asking about that.
04:21Yes, Fern, I just don't know what the significance of it is.
04:25LAUGHTER
04:30APPLAUSE
04:33And Munya?
04:34I have brought in a mould of my face.
04:38OK, no, no, no, no, no.
04:39OK, no, no, no, no, no.
04:39I don't think I need to hear much more about you.
04:43I mean, good luck, Munya.
04:46So, Munya means comforter, OK?
04:49In Shona, which is a Zimbabwean language.
04:51So, you wear this round your neck, feel instantly calmer.
04:54I'm sorry, I'm wearing that round my neck.
04:56LAUGHTER
04:58Um, Munya?
04:58I don't want it.
05:01LAUGHTER
05:01Dora, can you beat any of those?
05:04God, I'd like to hope so.
05:06Er...
05:07Cos I brought you what I think is the coolest thing I have in my name,
05:10er, to offer to you, and it is an actual asteroid.
05:13Ooh!
05:15Now I'm interested.
05:17Yeah.
05:17It's called 4901 O'Brien,
05:20and it orbits outside of Mars but before Jupiter,
05:23and it's on the NASA register of names of asteroids.
05:26And to represent it, I brought in meteorite cufflinks.
05:29So that is real meteorite?
05:31That's real meteorite, yeah.
05:32All right, fine.
05:33Look, the danger with having an asteroid is that
05:35it could get bounced out of its orbit,
05:38come into our orbit, and kill us all.
05:40That's just, like, the vague downside.
05:42LAUGHTER
05:42But, man, the press in the build-up to that would be amazing.
05:46Erm...
05:47And if you had your Munya necklace on, you wouldn't feel any panic.
05:50LAUGHTER
05:50I feel a different kind of panic.
05:53LAUGHTER
05:53Not if you were likeable at the time.
05:55I think they wouldn't mind dying.
05:57If you had your tarot cards, you would know it was coming.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:01You haven't seen mine yet.
06:04LAUGHTER
06:06But...
06:06LAUGHTER
06:08LAUGHTER
06:10Tara, are you prepared to lobby the scientists
06:12to have the name of the asteroid changed?
06:15Yes, I am.
06:16I'm totally... I'm totally going to do that.
06:18I'm totally going to get that anyway.
06:19Maybe I do like it.
06:21LAUGHTER
06:21Er, John.
06:22Do you own a fridge?
06:24LAUGHTER
06:25I'm not being arrogant.
06:28I have three fridges.
06:30LAUGHTER
06:32What magnets have you got?
06:35LAUGHTER
06:39That's a good question.
06:40Go on, John, I haven't got any fridge magnets.
06:43Oh.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:52I've got in, er...
06:54A fridge magnet.
06:55LAUGHTER
06:56And...
06:57Jett from Gladiators.
06:58Yes, he has.
06:58Who's Jett and a fridge magnet?
07:00Hang on.
07:01LAUGHTER
07:04Now...
07:05LAUGHTER
07:05That is very clever, actually, John.
07:08LAUGHTER
07:08Because...
07:09Like all men of a certain age...
07:12LAUGHTER
07:12LAUGHTER
07:12LAUGHTER
07:13LAUGHTER
07:13I'm a big fan of Jett, if you're watching.
07:15All the best.
07:18LAUGHTER
07:18It's a low-scoring round for me.
07:20I'm perfectly likeable.
07:21I don't want that mask.
07:22That's nonsense.
07:23One point for those three people.
07:26LAUGHTER
07:26So it's one point to Sarah, one point to Munya,
07:29one point to Fern.
07:30Correct.
07:30Direct.
07:31Two points, because I don't want those cufflinks,
07:33but I like the idea.
07:35And...
07:35Three points.
07:37LAUGHTER
07:38LAUGHTER
07:38Well, I'm not going to give him five points for a fridge magnet.
07:41LAUGHTER
07:43John Kern sort of wins with three points.
07:45There it is.
07:45APPLAUSE
07:48Right.
07:49We are off.
07:50What's first?
07:51Well, we're going to travel back in time to a task we gave them
07:54on their very first day in the house.
07:57BUZZER
07:59BUZZER
08:01BUZZER
08:01BUZZER
08:02BUZZER
08:03BUZZER
08:04BUZZER
08:05BUZZER
08:05BUZZER
08:06BUZZER
08:07BUZZER
08:08Hello, John.
08:09The man himself.
08:11LAUGHTER
08:11LAUGHTER
08:12BUZZER
08:14BUZZER
08:14BUZZER
08:15BUZZER
08:15BUZZER
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08:28BUZZER
08:30BUZZER
08:30BUZZER
08:31BUZZER
08:33BUZZER
08:33BUZZER
08:33BUZZER
08:34BUZZER
08:37O que é o que é, Alex? Eu não sei.
08:39Do you have alguma faveira dates?
08:41Oh, meu birthday?
08:43Ah, sim.
08:44God, tudo isso só para aquela coisa.
08:46É um longo prazo, Alex, eu vou dizer que.
08:49Order três coisas para o seu final task.
08:53Você pode gastar até R$50.
08:55Você tem cinco minutos.
08:56O que? O que? O que?
08:58O que? Eu não vou dizer isso ainda.
09:00O que? O que? O que? O que? O que? O que?
09:03O que? O que? O que? O que? O que? O que? O que?
09:05Sim, então não dá para o que.
09:07Eu need, like, a...
09:09I need a Swiss Army knife.
09:11Scissors, please.
09:13Pens.
09:14Ah, ooo, ah, shit!
09:18I'm sorry, a taxidermy.
09:21OK.
09:21Not a teddy, like an animal that used to be alive and now it's...
09:27That.
09:28A double cheeseburger.
09:30A big bag of potatoes.
09:34Chocolate? O que é isso?
09:36O que é isso? Eu não sei o que é isso?
09:37A A4, o que é isso?
09:40R$50 por um trabalho.
09:42R$50 por um trabalho.
09:43Você quer me rentar a pessoa?
09:45Você quer me rentar a pessoa?
09:46Você quer me rentar a pessoa?
09:46Você quer me rentar?
09:47Não, não, não, não, não.
09:51A mirror?
09:54Você tem uma pintada de irish cider.
09:57Ou talvez você tenha dois pincos para que tenha uma pintada.
09:59Isso vai ser maravilhoso.
10:02Eu sei que você vai me ver.
10:03Eu sei que você vai tentar me rentar alguma coisa.
10:05E o que é isso,
10:06meu skin, como um homem,
10:07fica seco muito rápido.
10:09Então eu vou fazer isso, Alex,
10:11mas eu vou passar uma vaselina.
10:14Ah, eu vou me...
10:1525 segundos.
10:17Me...besseu cap!
10:19Genie! Genie!
10:203 Wishes!
10:21Ah, no, não!
10:22Ok.
10:23A lamp, a lamp, a lamp, a lamp!
10:25Ok.
10:33Eu acho que é uma olhada terrível para todos os meus.
10:37Eu não sei o que as moinhoes são. O que as moinhoes?
10:40As moinhoes são um chão com a trampolinha.
10:42O que é uma pequena trampolinha?
10:45Não é uma pequena trampolinha.
10:48Ok, então vamos para o?
10:49É a primeira coisa que eles fizeram e vai ser a última coisa que eles fizeram.
10:52Então, vamos lá.
10:56Então, vamos lá.
11:10Vamos lá.
11:12Vamos lá.
11:13Hello.
11:14Hello, Fern.
11:15Hello.
11:16Você está indo para o meu carro.
11:17Eu estou indo para o meu carro.
11:19Oh.
11:20Eu sei.
11:20Não.
11:21Não.
11:23Não.
11:24Não.
11:26Não.
11:28Não.
11:41Não.
11:43Não.
11:49Não.
11:55Não.
11:58Não.
12:00Não.
12:01Não.
12:04Não.
12:05Não.
12:07Não.
12:08Não.
12:08Não.
12:10Não.
12:11Não.
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12:19Não.
12:21Não.
12:29Não.
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12:44Não.
12:46Não.
13:15Não.
13:45não.
13:46Não.
13:51não.
13:53não.
13:54não.
13:55Não.
14:24não.
14:27não.
14:30não.
14:33não.
14:33não.
14:43não.
14:44não.
14:56não.
15:00não.
15:07não.
15:08não.
15:08não.
15:10não.
15:10não.
15:13não.
15:13não.
15:18não.
15:19não.
15:19não.
15:20não.
15:21não.
15:23não.
15:24não.
15:25não.
15:25não.
15:26não.
15:26não.
15:28não.
15:30não.
15:31não.
15:32não.
15:39não.
15:40não.
15:41Onde está a grape?
15:44É isso como um ladrão ou algo?
15:47A TV área.
15:59A grape?
16:02Não foi, não foi.
16:04Não.
16:13Eles são muito diferentes.
16:16Munga é alivado, com energia,
16:19como um...
16:21como um nute.
16:22Muito como um nute.
16:25E, você sabe, se ele não conseguiu solucir,
16:28ele vai fazer algo assim,
16:30como Zimbabwean Darts.
16:32Obviamente.
16:33Obviamente.
16:33Horseshit.
16:33Sim, mas o uso da string era, não era?
16:35Sim, claro.
16:36Sim, claro.
16:36Eu não sei se ele é o melhor para Zimbabwe.
16:39Sim, claro.
16:44John,
16:45did we just witness you looking for a grape
16:46in a can of chickpeas?
16:52Never trust a label on Taskmaster.
16:54No, é verdade.
16:55É verdade.
16:56É muito bom.
16:56Next up, é Fern e Sarah.
17:00Eu já fiz essas coisas antes,
17:02e às vezes eu já chato com meus amigos
17:04e não me engano.
17:04Criado, né?
17:08Eu vou pegar para Zimbabwean Darts.
17:14Eu vou pegar para Zimbabwean Darts.
17:27Eu vou pegar para Zimbabwean Darts.
17:32Criado, né?
17:33Criado, né?
17:33The key yes, absolutely
17:36Where is it what the key? Where's the key can't tell you that?
17:40Where do people sometimes hide
17:43Under the dock
17:47No
17:50What about this baby's foot just the baby's foot I'm afraid
18:05There's darts and we haven't put it in pocket of you know
18:11You're 52 well done. Thank you. Here's your prize
18:18They're not real great
18:25Secret compartment Alex orange children's guy. Yeah, that's my library ticket. Oh find the book
18:34Hey, oh, okay, it is oh, and there's a group
18:44Another key I
18:52Stop the clock thanks
19:01You're a job
19:05I'm opening chickpeas
19:10Slightly more straightforward here wasn't it um Alex said he felt that you didn't enjoy this very much Sarah
19:16I don't really like escape rooms usually I haven't seen the people I'm in the escape room with for a
19:22while
19:22So we just chat for a while and then they let us out
19:27Oh
19:27I don't even know what an escape room is
19:29Oh, it's one of them
19:31Oh, and people do that for fun
19:33Yeah
19:35But they both found one of several secret grapes that were hidden in the caravan
19:40Sarah's the quickest so far six minutes ten fern ten forty four money eleven oh five John
19:4620 minutes and 20 seconds
19:49One more person to see one more person yeah who well the last person to try and eat mr. Gilbert's
19:54grape is Dara O'Breen
19:57I can't climb out the window so I have to try to get into that which means I must try
20:01to get a key for that or a key for that
20:08Grapes of Rath
20:09Grapes of Rath
20:09Grapes of Rath
20:09What have we found there?
20:10There's a key in the Grapes of Rath
20:12Ah
20:12Right
20:12Okay, small blue key, small blue lock
20:16Okay
20:18That's not that lock
20:21Oh hang on
20:24Hi Dara
20:24Hiya
20:25There's a grape over there
20:27But they're inedible grapes
20:29Ah
20:32That's not any other
20:34Finished?
20:35I've eaten a grape
20:36Thanks Dara
20:37Bye-bye
20:45You didn't want to stop and open a can of chickpeas?
20:49I mean I felt like I've just witnessed a special forces mission
20:51Yeah?
20:52I felt like he was in and he pulled my trousers down and he's out
20:54I'm like, he pulled my trousers down?
20:58Yeah, he just missed out a little bit by
20:59By sensing that the books might be part of it
21:01So he didn't need to do any of the nonsense with the darts
21:03Yeah
21:03Just a very clever man
21:04Well the book had the word grapes on the side
21:07Yeah
21:08There were clues
21:09Yeah
21:11So, timings wise
21:12Mm-hmm
21:12What does that mean?
21:13Well John, obviously the only person over 20 minutes
21:15He has one point
21:16Two points to Munya with 11 minutes
21:17Three to Fern
21:18Ten minutes 44
21:19Four to Sarah with six minutes 10
21:22But Dara wins
21:22Four minutes 36 and five points
21:26Well done
21:28Can I see a squad board please?
21:30Yes
21:30Well the two people who were leading the series are also leading the episode
21:33Sarah's on five, Dara's on seven
21:35CHEERING
21:39I can sense it might be time for our final team task
21:43I'm afraid it is Greg, but on the plus side this one sees the teams doing a spot of modelling
21:48Hmm
22:03Hello
22:04Hello
22:05Oh no
22:06Oh wow
22:08Hi John
22:09Oh hello Fern
22:10And Dara
22:11Oh
22:11Hello
22:12The team of three
22:15Sculpt your team
22:16Best sculpture wins
22:18Only one person may look at the clay and that person may not touch the clay
22:23You have a maximum of 15 minutes
22:25Your time starts when Alex blows his whistle
22:30It's like a Lionel Richie thing, innit?
22:33Basically
22:34He comes up with a lot of the tasks
22:37Who's good at giving instructions? And who's good at doing?
22:40Is it the brain or is it the hands that makes the artist?
22:43Yes
22:43Now we do a whole debate
22:45You're going to get my tits on your shoulders
22:49You're going to reveal the clay?
22:51It's revealing the clay
22:51There'll be some twist in the clay
22:52Yeah, yeah, it's not just going to be clay, is it?
22:56Is it clay?
22:57Yeah, it's just clay
23:00Is this clay?
23:02Is this clay?
23:02Stop, stop, stop, just don't touch anything
23:05I'm looking at about 20 balls and they're all different colours
23:09Oh
23:10Yeah, like, you know, different colours
23:14There you go, that's navy blue, is that navy blue?
23:16No
23:16No, no, it is, okay
23:18From this angle
23:19If you pick up that ball, please
23:20Is this one here?
23:21I reckon that's you
23:23That's your head, yeah
23:24Oh, okay, well that's done
23:25Squeeze it into a sausage
23:29Bang
23:30Already it looks like us
23:32Boom
23:32Do you have green hair?
23:34What do you mean to have green hair?
23:35No, I don't
23:37What colour is your hair?
23:38Sort of balayage
23:39What the frick balayage?
23:41Right, so this is your hair
23:43You want me to start making hair?
23:45Yeah
23:45Yeah, your hair
23:46There you go, that's your balayage
23:47This way?
23:48What colour is that?
23:49That's balayage
23:51Balayage
23:52Is this the top of the head here, where my thumb is?
23:54You know where you've put the other one?
23:56Yeah
23:56You've put the other one where eyes go
23:59God, this is tough
24:01You know, get that black little dribble off your finger
24:03I don't know what I've put on my finger
24:05Just shake your hands
24:05I can see anything
24:06Shake your hands
24:08What colour are your eyes, Dara?
24:10They're blue
24:10That's Sumatra blue
24:12Oh, shut up
24:13Grab your face
24:14On the left
24:15On the left
24:15Down, down, down
24:17I don't know what a fake that is
24:19That's not me
24:20You took great care with you
24:22Okay
24:23I've got a knife for you
24:24I've got a knife for you
24:25Oh, shit
24:26Lean it forwards
24:27Bang
24:28Are we done?
24:29Yeah, we're done, we're done
24:30Ta-da!
24:32Down
24:32Down
24:33There's one there
24:34Yeah, just put it wherever
24:35Okay
24:35Well, that's you, me
24:37And, erm
24:38Dan
24:39Dan
24:46If there was ever a short conversation that's summed up the dynamic within a group
24:50It's John saying, erm, what colour are your eyes?
24:53Is that Sinatra blue?
24:54And Dara goes, shut up
24:58I have to say, I think the team of three are at a bit of a disadvantage here
25:02Nah, that's fair
25:03Oh
25:03Oh
25:04Oh
25:07You seem to be quite efficient
25:08We're quite a good team, weren't we?
25:10Yeah, I mean, I think we could have been faster because we were picking stuff and then you were throwing
25:14out these baliwaguan colours and whatnot and I was thinking, what on earth is this?
25:18You could have just looked with your eyes at me hair
25:20Okay, yeah, that's true
25:24Yes, the teams are sculpting but the hands are being controlled by different heads
25:28It's time to see the fruits of their labour
25:30So, here's what Sarah modelled through Munya's eyes
25:34It's a team of two
25:36It's not bad
25:38But the first thing I want to know is, why is Munya so sad?
25:43LAUGHTER
25:45Presumably, you've just been knocked out of a Zimbabwe darts final
25:50LAUGHTER
25:50LAUGHTER
25:55They've captured your skull
26:01Well, do you want to compare that to something?
26:05Oh, here we go
26:06LAUGHTER
26:07Here's what John directed Dara and Fern to create
26:24Do you know who's who?
26:26I know who Dara is!
26:31Is that because of Sinatra Blues?
26:34LAUGHTER
26:36I mean, John is, it's very accurate, if the real John had run into a war
26:41LAUGHTER
26:42But didn't we get the same amount of time as them
26:45and we just had to do John at the end?
26:48Yeah, yeah
26:48Oh, no way, John's rushed, is he?
26:53LAUGHTER
26:54Dara famously has no eyebrows, whereas you just have the one big...
27:00LAUGHTER
27:01You could have scored them, Greg, so here they are, all five of them
27:04LAUGHTER
27:04So the team of two get five points straight away
27:06The team of two get five points each!
27:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:10APPLAUSE
27:10Yes
27:12There we go
27:13Sort of sea fern in there somewhere
27:16LAUGHTER
27:16If I'm looking at it as a work of art, it's two points
27:19But I do think there's a disadvantage to having two hands
27:22So it's whether we give them an extra one to be nice
27:26Well, you're a very likeable guy
27:28LAUGHTER
27:30All right, three points for the team of three
27:32Three points for the team of three
27:33APPLAUSE
27:37Right, here we go then
27:39What's the final task, Alex?
27:41Well, a long time ago they all chose three items for this final task
27:45So let's see what they're for
27:50MUSIC PLAYS
27:50MUSIC PLAYS
27:55MUSIC PLAYS
27:59MUSIC PLAYS
28:00MUSIC PLAYS
28:01MUSIC PLAYS
28:01MUSIC PLAYS
28:03LAUGHTER
28:03Hey, champ, how are you? How's it going?
28:05Yeah.
28:06Foo-fum?
28:07Kerry, isn't it?
28:08Oh, really?
28:08Yeah, the manuscript, yeah, very good.
28:10MUSIC PLAYS
28:13Hey.
28:14Look who it is.
28:16It's Munya.
28:17Yes.
28:18Welcome.
28:19To your final task.
28:22Ah.
28:24You remember the items?
28:26Yeah, I remember these items.
28:28LAUGHTER
28:30Hello, Fern.
28:30Hiya.
28:31Do you remember these things?
28:33Wait, did I meet these potatoes before?
28:36LAUGHTER
28:38Oh, yeah.
28:39What the hell?
28:41Did I order Vaseline?
28:42Oh.
28:43God.
28:44Oh, it's just loose, just on the top.
28:47Oh, I'm not allowed to eat it, am I?
28:49Oh.
28:51Throw one of your objects over the caravan.
28:53Throw one of your objects over the caravan.
28:56From here?
28:57No, from anywhere I like?
28:59OK.
29:00Then completely cover one of your items with one of your other items.
29:04Then completely cover one of your items with one of your other items.
29:07Then put the covered item on the wooden barrel without touching that item with your hands.
29:13Wooden barrel.
29:15There.
29:16Fastest wins.
29:17Your time starts now.
29:20Oh!
29:21Did I ask for these potatoes?
29:24Did I ask for these pens?
29:27Oh, hello!
29:29Oh!
29:37They've found out what their objects are for.
29:39Yeah.
29:39I want you to know I would be very disappointed if Munya doesn't attempt to bounce over the caravan with
29:43those shoes on.
29:46OK, first, let's see how Munya and John fared with their items.
29:54So, I'm just going to launch this.
29:55OK.
30:00Right, boom.
30:03Right.
30:08Cover one of your items with one of your other items.
30:11I'm going to put that in there.
30:16When?
30:17When?
30:20So you just want me to lube up a pen knife then?
30:23Yeah, and once it's lubed, you can't touch it with your hands.
30:25Well, yeah, I've heard that before.
30:28I'll tell you what I'll do for you.
30:29Boom.
30:30Complete immersion.
30:44So now I have to get it, put it on the barrel, and I can use my teeth.
30:48OK.
30:49I'm like Paddington Bear, but instead of a marmalade sandwich, it's your burger.
31:01Yes!
31:02I've talked before.
31:06Yes!
31:23I've talked before.
31:25It was in the textbook, wasn't it?
31:25Oh, yeah.
31:26It wasn't what we were expecting him to do, but, yeah.
31:27He stuck a knife in Vaseline and then he took it over with his mouth?
31:30With his mouth.
31:31Tick.
31:32I mean, he could have held that with his hands.
31:35It was only the knife that he couldn't touch.
31:37Oh.
31:40Now, John, a little more complicated.
31:42Didn't touch the object, and he did cover it, and he managed to get it over to the barrel.
31:47Yes.
31:48But...
31:48However.
31:49...he consumed some of the object, because he's a greedy little boy.
31:55So you're saying some of the burger was under the cap, but the burger in his digestional tract did not
31:59ever get on the barrel?
32:01Yeah, of course that's what I'm saying.
32:06John just gobbled some of the thing that he was supposed to get on top of a barrel.
32:09He gobbled it.
32:13Yeah, I did.
32:13Yeah.
32:17Do you want to see some more people?
32:18Yeah.
32:19OK, it's now time for Sarah and Dara and the bloke dressed like Dara.
32:28Fastest wins.
32:29Your time starts now.
32:33Your time starts now.
32:35Excuse me for a second.
32:36Be careful.
32:45Right, you can move.
32:47To the barrel.
32:48Lovely.
32:51Now, is that completely covered?
32:55It's so demanding.
32:56Can you hide that inside yourself in some way without touching the item with your hands?
33:01I haven't touched you at all.
33:02I can confirm he hasn't touched me.
33:03Yeah, absolutely, right.
33:06Don't!
33:07I'll stop the clock.
33:09Don't!
33:10You think I won't eat that?
33:15Bye-bye.
33:16Bye-bye.
33:19Oh!
33:27Both incredibly efficient, basically.
33:30I didn't doubt for a second you'd eat the chocolates, by the way.
33:32I would have too.
33:33I did ask if the task had finished.
33:34Alex said yes, and then I pocketed some of the chocolates.
33:37Correct.
33:38It's correct behaviour.
33:39Can I ask a question, though?
33:40So I know my scissors landed on top of the caravan.
33:43Yeah.
33:43Did all, every single drop of Dara's pint definitely go over the top of the caravan,
33:49or was some of it maybe on top of the caravan?
33:53This sort of thing sometimes happens at this stage of the series.
33:58I do think that if I went the other side of that caravan and picked up that glass and found
34:03cider in it,
34:04I'd say, someone's attempted to throw a pint of cider over this caravan.
34:07But if I saw your scissors, I'd go, those scissors have not successfully been thrown over this caravan.
34:12To be honest, I knew there was people behind the caravan and I was scared about maiming somebody.
34:18Well, if you want to be the best, you've got to risk maiming people.
34:21Finally, it's fine.
34:30Oh, no!
34:31You can have another go if you want, or even get closer.
34:34Oh!
34:36I'm sorry.
34:38Oh, no!
34:42What do you have to do now?
34:44Put potatoes on the pens.
34:50Is it?
34:52So put potatoes on the pens and get the pens onto the wooden barrel.
34:57Well, yeah.
34:59That's mad!
35:00Well, you chose them.
35:02What if I brought the wooden barrel over here?
35:07How much do you deadlift?
35:10A hundred?
35:11A hundred and two point five yesterday.
35:14Oh.
35:17Get the pens onto the wooden barrel without touching.
35:22Oh!
35:23Like this?
35:25Yes, I suppose so.
35:26I feel like I understand this task and I'm just getting on with it.
35:30Yeah.
35:31Any regrets about throwing the robin over and...
35:33No!
35:33What use would you have been?
35:35Are you joking?
35:36You could cover the robins and the potato.
35:39Oh, right, yeah!
35:41That could work as well.
35:44I'm a bit tired now.
35:46Yeah, yeah.
35:47There's actually, like, loads left.
35:51Be brave!
35:52Be brave!
35:53Oh!
35:56Like a spade.
35:58Oh, that worked!
35:59Yeah!
36:00Oh!
36:02I think the robin went on top of the caravan.
36:05Does it matter?
36:05He didn't go over it.
36:07Well, you can check the wording.
36:08Throw one of your objects over the caravan!
36:12Oh, yeah.
36:16There.
36:16Oh!
36:17Stop the clock!
36:24Jesus Christ!
36:26Oh, I don't know where to start!
36:28Look, it's been pointed out to me that I think in an unusual way before, and I told a few
36:34people in my life, this is how I solved the task, how would you solve the task?
36:39Everyone said, like, throwing the potatoes over the caravan, but to me, the obvious thing was to let the bird
36:45fly.
36:53Did Fern come close to completing this task?
36:55I don't know if she completed it or not.
36:57I think the rule she might have broken was, did she completely cover the pens with the potatoes?
37:02Because after that, she just had to get the pens on the barrel without touching them with her hands, which
37:05she did do.
37:06Were the pens at any point covered by potatoes?
37:09We've got a picture of the pens at their most covered by potatoes.
37:13I mean, that's as covered as they could be.
37:16They are covered.
37:18It is not.
37:18They are covered!
37:20If someone went, oh, can you get me a green felt-tip pen, you'd go, ah, cannae, they're covered in
37:26potatoes!
37:26LAUGHTER
37:33That is the only rule she might have broken.
37:36OK.
37:37OK, so this is just what happened in terms of fastest wins.
37:40Please.
37:41Fern, clearly the slowest, 13 minutes 40.
37:44Yes.
37:45Then we have John, 4 minutes 48, Munya, 2 minutes 18,
37:49Sarah, 36 seconds, Dara, 34.1 seconds.
37:52These guys, fast.
37:54Oh, yeah.
37:55I can't give Fern any more than one point because I could see those pens.
38:01But also, she was by far the slowest, so the maximum she can get is one point.
38:04Yes.
38:05So, so she's had a right result.
38:08One point to Fern.
38:10Correct.
38:10I think Sarah should get two points.
38:12I think that's fair.
38:13Because the citizens didn't go over the caravan.
38:15The task wasn't complete.
38:16I still got chocolate in my pocket.
38:19LAUGHTER
38:22OK, so to summarise, it's one point to Fern, two to Sarah,
38:25three to John, four to Munya, and five to Dara Breen!
38:29There it is!
38:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:32OK, everyone, for the last time, please make your way to the stage
38:36for the final task of the series!
38:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:43Welcome to the final task of the show.
38:46Raise the curtain and rotate me!
38:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:02Hello, enchanting hula ladies.
39:06Who will read the task out?
39:08Fern Brady, please.
39:13Land a balloon nearest the taskmaster.
39:16You must stay on your spots at all times.
39:18The closest balloon to the taskmaster wins,
39:21but if you strike the taskmaster with a balloon,
39:23you're disqualified.
39:26The way it's going to work is you're going to select a balloon,
39:28aim it at Greg, but if you hit him, you're out.
39:32Sarah, you're up first.
39:34Yeah.
39:34Please, select a balloon.
39:35Ooh!
39:36Yeah.
39:37We're on.
39:41Ooh!
39:42It's not bad.
39:43It's on the island.
39:44Mun, you're up next.
39:45Oh, no.
39:47He's a Zimbabwean balloon champion.
39:54Ooh!
39:56Ooh!
39:57Ooh!
39:57Three foot from the taskmaster, John Kearns.
39:59He's also going long and straight.
40:02I've got to go up.
40:03That's an interesting technique.
40:04I'm over here.
40:08LAUGHTER
40:13Hanging off the plinx.
40:15Hanging off the set.
40:16Fern?
40:19Oh!
40:26Genuinely exhilarating.
40:29We have a new leader.
40:31It's Fern Brady.
40:31Hello, Dara.
40:33LAUGHTER
40:43Enjoy the spectacle.
40:46Sarah, let's balloon.
40:51Very stylish.
40:53Thanks.
40:53This came a lot better than I thought it was.
40:57Take it low.
40:59Say hello to my little friend.
41:02Oh!
41:04Ooh!
41:04Fuck it!
41:05I would say that's definitely in second place.
41:07OK, what's behind?
41:09Oh, oh!
41:10LAUGHTER
41:10For that sake!
41:12Come on, put some Vim into it.
41:13What do you mean put some Vim?
41:14I'm letting go of the balloon.
41:17Oh, it's...
41:18Oh, hello, hello!
41:20Oh!
41:20Oh!
41:21Oh!
41:24We have lost Fern Brady.
41:25We have lost...
41:26He doesn't even...
41:27He's pretending.
41:29He's not pretending.
41:29That is a wounded man.
41:30Yeah.
41:35LAUGHTER
41:35It's gone with the fifth!
41:37OK, so it's the final, Greg.
41:39We have lost Fern Brady.
41:41In this round, you have to release two at the same time.
41:43Double the fun.
41:46LAUGHTER
41:47No.
41:48As I've said, double the fun.
41:50LAUGHTER
41:51Munya's in the lead.
41:54LAUGHTER
41:54OK, then, John, this is your last act in Taskmaster.
41:59LAUGHTER
42:01LAUGHTER
42:01Fuck it.
42:04LAUGHTER
42:05LAUGHTER
42:07OK, then, Dara.
42:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:19Right, we'll add that up and we'll see how it's affected the final scores.
42:23Come and join me!
42:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:31Well, well, well, then.
42:33How's it... how's it feeling?
42:34Oh, yeah, it's OK.
42:35It was this one, actually.
42:35Yeah!
42:37You were only struck once.
42:39Like, cool, wasn't it fair?
42:40I didn't mean to, I'm sorry.
42:42No, no, I don't mean it was cruel for you,
42:44because you didn't get the points.
42:45Oh, right.
42:47LAUGHTER
42:48Yes, that final fling of the balloon from Dara
42:51means that the episode scores look like this.
42:53Fern, in last place with eight points,
42:55but in first place with 20,
42:57it's Dara Breen!
42:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:00Dara Breen wins the episode.
43:03Please go and grab all the things you think I want to have.
43:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:23Here we are, then.
43:25The time has come to announce the Series 14 champion.
43:29One of the five competitors has finally done enough
43:31to be allowed near me for a few sweet seconds.
43:35just time enough to receive this trophy.
43:38I can only imagine how good that's going to feel.
43:40So, let's do it.
43:42I call upon my assistant, little Alex Horne.
43:45Do I feel the final scores?
43:47Hello, everyone.
43:49I have news.
43:51For the first time ever in Taskmaster history,
43:55we do not have a loser.
44:00in joint fourth.
44:03So, in a way, we have two losers.
44:05LAUGHTER
44:08With 144 points,
44:10it's Fern Brady and John Kern!
44:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:15And then, just six points ahead of them,
44:17with 150, a very round number,
44:19it's Munya Chihuahua!
44:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:24And they've been neck and neck throughout the series.
44:27But in second place, with 174 points,
44:30it's the formidable, the brilliant, Sarah Millican!
44:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:36I can tell you that he got a magnificent 184 points in the end.
44:43Our new Taskmaster champion is...
44:47Dara O'Brien!
44:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:10SEE YOU NEXT TIME, ONE FOR NOW!
45:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:21See you next time!
45:34Legenda Adriana Zanotto
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