- há 12 horas
Categoria
😹
DivertimentoTranscrição
00:00.
00:02Brace! Brace!
00:04I'm bracing!
00:12No, no, no, no!
00:18No!
00:23Ah!
00:25What?
00:31APPLAUSE
00:36Hello! I'm Greg Davies and this is Taskmaster,
00:39the modern-day equivalent of the Coliseum.
00:41But instead of swords, we use tasks,
00:43and instead of lions, we also use tasks.
00:45And rather than contestants fighting each other
00:47for a life of respect and riches,
00:49they're trying to get a rubbish trophy.
00:52It's nothing like the Coliseum.
00:54Happy now? How about you shut your sweet mouth?
00:56How about you try writing 15 series' worth of intros?
00:59Too busy going for a meal with Debbie, aren't you?
01:02Huh?
01:02Yeah!
01:03I see you!
01:05Please welcome our gladiators of Tasking.
01:08Frankie Boyle!
01:23Who confided in me that he sometimes deliberately revs his engine in traffic
01:27because it makes him feel like he's in charge of all women.
01:31LAUGHTER
01:33It's a plumber time!
01:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:37Hi, Greg.
01:39Hiya.
01:40Are you ready for a brand new game show?
01:42It's called Two Lies and a Truth.
01:45MUSIC
01:50Welcome, Greg, to Two Lies and a Truth.
01:52I'm going to tell you Two Lies and a Truth.
01:54You can see if you can spot the truth.
01:56I have ridden a camel.
01:57I have ridden a zebra.
01:59Yeah.
01:59I have ridden a bicycle.
02:01Yeah.
02:02I imagine you were the sort of kid who never learnt to ride a bike.
02:04Do you think I've ridden a camel but not a bike?
02:06That's right.
02:08You've not made it through round one.
02:11LAUGHTER
02:11Bad start.
02:14BUZZER
02:14Prize test time!
02:15Whoo!
02:15What have we got this week?
02:17Well, Mr Yummy Scrummy, you asked him to bring in the object
02:20which, whenever you look at it, makes you feel the weirdest.
02:24Oh.
02:25I feel weirdest when I look at petrol right up close for a really long time.
02:29LAUGHTER
02:30Greg will award five points for the object he agrees
02:33is most likely to cause a feeling of weirdness
02:35and the winner of the show will take home five objects
02:37they probably never want to look at again.
02:38OK, Kyle.
02:39You're at first.
02:40What object have you brought in?
02:41Why will it make me feel weird?
02:43It's a...
02:44glove on a foot.
02:46Ooh!
02:47How do you feel?
02:48I feel weird.
02:50LAUGHTER
02:50Where did you encounter this foot in a glove?
02:54Er...
02:55I...
02:55I created it.
02:56Oh!
02:57Although, I should say, you can buy sort of latex rubber gloves
03:00but for feet.
03:01I normally wear them.
03:02I don't know if I, um...
03:04Yeah, there we go.
03:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:06Oh!
03:08Oh!
03:09Oh!
03:09Oh, my God!
03:10Put them on under my socks every series, but that's horrible.
03:14What do you mean it's horrible?
03:14Because you have got horribly long toes anyway.
03:18LAUGHTER
03:18You could knit with those toes.
03:20Thank you, Jenny.
03:21Thank you.
03:22Erm, where did you dream this up?
03:24I knew it had to be a feet thing, cos feet are weird, innit?
03:27Like, what are they?
03:29And...
03:30Erm, and then, like, rubber gloves and latex in general
03:36is just quite, like...
03:38Eww.
03:39The more I stare at it, the weirder I feel, it's a strong opener.
03:42OK, I'll log that.
03:43Next up.
03:44May?
03:45I've brought in a small object that I think can trigger, like,
03:50a deep existential crisis.
03:52And that object is...
03:53A mirror.
03:55LAUGHTER
03:55And, like...
03:56LAUGHTER
03:58What are we?
04:00Are we the meat?
04:01Are we the viewer?
04:03Are we the meat?
04:04Are we the viewer?
04:06LAUGHTER
04:07One or the other.
04:09LAUGHTER
04:09So, they did an experiment in 2010.
04:11If you stare into a mirror for ten minutes...
04:14Yeah.
04:1466% of people experienced seeing huge deformations in their face.
04:19I agree.
04:20I've looked into a mirror for up to ten minutes when I was a child
04:23and I found my face to be horribly deformed.
04:25Yeah.
04:25And I think it works.
04:26However, if I stared at the back of that mirror,
04:29I wouldn't feel weird at all.
04:30The only thing that makes you weird, I put it to you,
04:32is your own reflection.
04:34Yeah.
04:34Not the object you've offered up.
04:36Interesting.
04:37I mean...
04:38What a round!
04:41I vote.
04:42I picked some magnetic detachable reading glasses.
04:46At last!
04:47Here they are!
04:48There's lots that's weird about it.
04:50I'm basically throwing my uncle under the bus here.
04:52But every time he detaches his magnetic glasses,
04:55it creeps me out.
04:57I mean, I sort of go, oh.
04:59But when I stare at the glove foot, I go, ooh.
05:02Kyle designed that specifically for the task.
05:05He was so busy thinking about whether he could,
05:07he didn't stop to think about whether he should.
05:09But the grief of the task was whenever you look at it,
05:14it makes you feel weird.
05:15So having to look at it for ten minutes,
05:17that's immediately invalid.
05:18Whereas every time I see that,
05:20it makes me feel even a bit weird,
05:21it's winning so far as far as I'm concerned.
05:24LAUGHTER
05:26Jenny?
05:26Greg, yes.
05:27What did you bring in?
05:28I bought a magic eye painting book.
05:30Yes.
05:31The original book.
05:32There it is.
05:33And here is one of the pages from her book.
05:37I mean, you've all seen these before, right?
05:39It will work.
05:40You just need to look as if you're looking through the screen.
05:42Oh, do I need to try?
05:43Well, you can.
05:44I mean, it's...
05:45Oh!
05:48APPLAUSE
05:55The steam train, you're right, it's a steam train.
05:58That has made me feel weird.
06:01LAUGHTER
06:01All right.
06:02Well, great news, Frankie.
06:03I think it's very unlikely you're going to be last.
06:05LAUGHTER
06:06I've brought you medieval paintings of cats.
06:09Five points.
06:11LAUGHTER
06:14For some reason, people in the Middle Ages couldn't paint cats properly
06:20and it always looks really weird and disturbing.
06:24LAUGHTER
06:28That's from a 14th century illustrated French manuscript
06:31on Roman and Christian history.
06:33I mean, I would argue that cats are already weird
06:35and they sort of know that they're weird.
06:39LAUGHTER
06:40I mean, that one's weird.
06:41That's a guy who'd just been looking in a mirror for about ten years.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:45And suddenly looked at a cat.
06:48LAUGHTER
06:48Jesus Christ, are we the meat or are we the viewer?
06:51LAUGHTER
06:52You know?
06:52I mean, this is unbelievable,
06:55because some bloke's boy's uncle's glasses
06:57it's going to do quite well in.
06:59LAUGHTER
07:01The least weird thing to look at on this occasion
07:05is...
07:05mate Martin's mirror.
07:07I'm sorry.
07:08One point to mate.
07:09Yes.
07:09I can't give a magic eye painting more than a mirror,
07:12that's the truth.
07:13I can give them one point each.
07:15Oh, bad luck.
07:15OK.
07:17LAUGHTER
07:17And then I jump...
07:18And then there's a big jump up, unbelievably.
07:21Right.
07:22Two Ivo's uncle's collapsible glasses.
07:25LAUGHTER
07:26Kael takes three points.
07:27Can you imagine?
07:28LAUGHTER
07:28You've given three points for bringing them in.
07:31LAUGHTER
07:32It was a diminishing return of weirdness from the cats,
07:34whereas the rubber glove on the foot made me feel consistently weird,
07:38and thus, Kael takes five points.
07:39Four points to Frankie, five to Kael.
07:41APPLAUSE
07:45OK, let's toss.
07:46Great shout.
07:48And we begin by splitting up one of the great bands of the modern era
07:51and forcing them to go solo.
08:04Hi.
08:06Hi, mate.
08:06Hi.
08:07Oh, hey!
08:08Hi, mate.
08:09Hiya.
08:10Hi.
08:15Bye-bye.
08:25All right?
08:26Very well, thank you.
08:27Mm-hm.
08:27Polite young man.
08:29How old do you think he is?
08:3141.
08:32Unlucky.
08:33Hello.
08:34Hi there.
08:35This is exciting. I'm Jenny.
08:36Hello, I'm Joe.
08:37What have you got? You've got a trumpet?
08:39Yep.
08:39How marvellous? Do you have piles as well?
08:43Compose a solo for this 41-year-old man...
08:45I was right.
08:47He doesn't say that.
08:48Compose a solo for this musician.
08:50The solo must be original.
08:52And less than 30 seconds long.
08:54That's a blessing.
08:55You have five minutes.
08:56Your time starts now.
08:59What instrument do you play?
09:03The keyboard.
09:04The keyboard.
09:06I think we will have my name and then the word Taskmaster.
09:12So what notes are in that?
09:14I-V-O.
09:14None.
09:15No.
09:16G-A.
09:17Another A.
09:18And then in Taskmaster, it's quite A-heavy, isn't it?
09:21I've heard that one.
09:25I've heard that one.
09:28Right.
09:29Oh, I love that.
09:31A-A-A-A.
09:33Is there any sort of rhythm with that?
09:35Yeah, jaunty.
09:36Jaunty.
09:37Instead of playing it with your hands, you play it with your feet.
09:41Shoe off?
09:42Yeah, shoo off, definitely.
09:44OK.
09:45What I'll do is I'll just sing some notes and you just follow it, OK?
10:07Lulululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululululul
10:08Um...
10:10Um...
10:11Um...
10:11Um...
10:12Um...
10:12Um...
10:12Um...
10:14You know when it's the right number.
10:17I think I'm mine.
10:19Yeah, I love that.
10:20I don't want anything more than that.
10:23Terrific.
10:24Can I take that task off you, Frankie?
10:26Can I swap it for that one?
10:28Oh, while you're here.
10:30I mean, that as well.
10:30.
10:31.
10:31.
10:31.
10:35.
10:36.
10:36.
10:36.
10:36.
10:36.
10:37.
10:37.
10:37.
10:37.
10:38.
10:39Then mime to your new solo.
10:41You may not use a musical instrument in the creation of your musical instrument.
10:44Best performance wins.
10:46I've got 15 minutes in my time, Joe.
10:49It starts now. It started now.
10:53There's the hi-hat right there.
10:59How long's the drumstick, mate?
11:05Bloody hell, yes, it's more complicated than you'd think.
11:07Mine's less complicated than you'd think.
11:11Four strings, is it? Uh-huh. Yeah.
11:14How many keys does it have? 25, I'd say.
11:1625? Would you settle for seven?
11:21Yours isn't quite as big as mine.
11:23Oh, is that what we're doing?
11:26Quite like accuracy.
11:30Unbelievable.
11:40Yes.
11:40Pretty good.
11:41Finished?
11:42Yeah.
11:43OK.
11:49Johnny, we, um, we frequently go south of the waistband with you, I've noticed.
11:54I didn't know that trumpet players do get piles.
11:56Oh, yes.
11:57You did what then, it seems to be an extreme scat.
12:01I'm so un-musical.
12:02I don't even recognise Happy Birthday.
12:04It's like something I can't do.
12:06I don't recognise Happy Birthday.
12:08You know when people start singing Happy Birthday and they expect you to join in?
12:11And I panic because...
12:12The cake must give you a clue.
12:15LAUGHTER
12:16I can't understand.
12:18I don't understand.
12:21First up, with the voice of an angel, projected through a banana-based trumpet,
12:25it's Jenny Eclair.
12:27I'd like now to play for you a solo piece called the
12:30Ni-ni-ni-ni-na-na song.
12:34Give me a one, give me a two, give me a one, two, three.
12:37BUZZER
12:40BUZZER
12:42BUZZER
12:45BUZZER
12:46BUZZER
12:47BUZZER
12:48BUZZER
12:49BUZZER
12:50BUZZER
12:50BUZZER
12:50BUZZER
12:51BUZZER
12:52BUZZER
12:53BUZZER
12:54BUZZER
12:54BUZZER
12:56BUZZER
13:02Thank you very much.
13:03I think I might have piles now.
13:06LAUGHTER
13:10BUZZER
13:11I felt it was a powerful performance.
13:14I think it's a beautiful instrument.
13:16Could you convince yourself that it was Jenny making those noises?
13:19If I gobbled a dish full of recreational drugs,
13:22I could convince myself that it was Jenny Eclair playing that instrument,
13:25and indeed that that instrument was functional.
13:27You want another one?
13:28Yes, please.
13:29OK, next up, with a dramatic drum solo, it's Frankie Boyle.
13:33Drum solo on a count of four.
13:35A one, a two, a three, four!
13:39BUZZER
13:41BUZZER
13:44BUZZER
13:45BUZZER
13:46BUZZER
13:47BUZZER
13:47BUZZER
13:50BUZZER
13:51BUZZER
13:52BUZZER
13:53BUZZER
13:55I have no real memory of doing that.
13:58BUZZER
14:16BUZZER
14:17It's Ivo Graham with Toxic Gold Fumes, brackets, mainly in A.
14:23Take it away.
14:25BUZZER
14:28BUZZER
14:31BUZZER
14:32BUZZER
14:33BUZZER
14:34BUZZER
14:37BUZZER
14:38BUZZER
14:38BUZZER
14:39BUZZER
14:39BUZZER
14:39BUZZER
14:39BUZZER
14:40BUZZER
14:47BUZZER
14:48I very much enjoyed your instrument. I enjoyed the keys, all seven of them.
14:52Yes. The colour. I enjoyed your performance very much.
14:55Let's leave the sentence there, I say.
14:58BUZZER
15:00BUZZER
15:00Sext. All right, well, now it's time for Mae Martin on the double bass with the toe.
15:06I'm so excited to present my original solo by Mae Martin,
15:11Maestro, Mae-stro, am I right?
15:14BUZZER
15:15Uh, sorry. I don't want to lose points for Mae-stro.
15:17It's too late.
15:18Okay.
15:19One, two, three, four.
15:23BUZZER
15:24BUZZER
15:28BUZZER
15:30BUZZER
15:30BUZZER
15:31BUZZER
15:33BUZZER
15:34BUZZER
15:34BUZZER
15:34BUZZER
15:39BUZZER
15:44BUZZER
15:45BUZZER
15:45BUZZER
15:46Thank you so much. Thank you so much.
15:49APPLAUSE
15:51I sensed, while we were watching that, you were disturbed by the sight of your own toe.
15:55It doesn't look like that. My foot does not look like that.
15:58Does it not?
15:59No, very dainty, sexy.
16:03Just trust me.
16:04You know what you need, don't you?
16:08Pop a glove on that.
16:10They're like fingers, they spread too.
16:12See what I mean? Feet? What are they?
16:14Yeah, yeah.
16:14What the hell are they?
16:16Right, what left?
16:17Yes, it's our final solo. It's keyboard KL.
16:21One, two, three, and...
16:23Compose the solo
16:25Less than 30 seconds,
16:27Compose the solo
16:28Less than 30 seconds,
16:30Compose the solo
16:32Less than 30 seconds long
16:34Less than 30 seconds long
16:35Less than 30 seconds long
16:39What's your age, young man?
16:4041
16:41BUZZER
16:4242
16:43BUZZER
16:4443
16:47BUZZER
16:47BUZZER
16:48BUZZER
16:51APPLAUSE
16:53Here you go. That's all right.
16:56BUZZER
16:57Here you go.
17:00I sort of felt I couldn't look away from it,
17:02but I also found it quite unsettling.
17:04Sexy, though, right?
17:06So sexy.
17:07Yeah.
17:07I'm 54, by the way.
17:10LAUGHTER
17:13I'll do you a song later.
17:16Oh, Christ, that is so hard.
17:18I enjoyed all of them.
17:19I'm going to give Kyle, Ivo and Jenny five points,
17:23and I'm going to give Frankie and May four points.
17:26Oh?
17:26I've literally lost my goddamn mind.
17:29Well, there we go.
17:30It's five points to Jenny, Kyle and Ivo.
17:33Hooray!
17:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:36Scoreboard time.
17:38Yes, it is.
17:39Last week's winner is in last place.
17:40May's got five.
17:41Kyle has ten points in the lead at the moment.
17:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:48What's next, Alex?
17:49Well, Greg, it's the first team task of the series.
17:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:08Hi.
18:08Hello, mate.
18:10A potato.
18:11Excellent.
18:13Thanks.
18:15LAUGHTER
18:16Please, can you put that down?
18:18Yeah.
18:20You can pick up the potato.
18:21OK.
18:22All right.
18:23All right.
18:25OK.
18:26Hello.
18:26I'm so sorry.
18:27I can only go down.
18:28What are you talking about?
18:30No way.
18:30It's lovely.
18:31Oh, thank you.
18:31Why have you got a large potato?
18:33I brought it from home.
18:33Oh, good.
18:34I wish I'd bought one.
18:35For luck.
18:36Jack.
18:36Jackets in the garden.
18:41LAUGHTER
18:54Sometimes, with a potato, you can smell when they're on the turn.
18:57Yeah.
18:59Look, we have another friend.
19:01Hello.
19:01Yo.
19:02What's that, then?
19:03Hey.
19:04How are you?
19:05Oh, good, yeah.
19:06Would you like to hold the potato?
19:08I'd love to.
19:08There you go.
19:09Enjoy.
19:10Thank you.
19:11Hello, Frankie.
19:12All right, man.
19:12I've got a potato on here.
19:14Hello, Ivo.
19:14Sorry to interrupt you about the potato.
19:17LAUGHTER
19:19Build the highest bridge over the middle of the red-green...
19:23Red-green?
19:24Red-green.
19:25Right, I'll start again.
19:27Build the highest bridge over the middle of the red-green
19:32and balance the potato on the middle of the bridge.
19:34The potato may not be anchored in any way.
19:38If anything touches the red-green, you must put everything back where you found it.
19:42Tut and go back to the drawing board.
19:45You have 20 minutes.
19:47Your time starts now.
19:49I can do the tutting.
19:51I'll just stand here and get ready to tut.
19:54As the clever one, you start planning and I go and get a whole load of random shit.
19:59The first thing Frankie's done is send me away.
20:02LAUGHTER
20:03APPLAUSE
20:07Your team of three seem very comfortable together straight away.
20:10Good chemistry.
20:10Good chemistry.
20:11What's going on here, do you know?
20:14I didn't know he...
20:15I thought it was some bloke delivering something.
20:18LAUGHTER
20:21So you didn't know who Ivo was?
20:22I did, once I, like, fully took a member,
20:24I thought someone's just wandered into the shop.
20:27LAUGHTER
20:27I would say, watching Frankie and Ivo,
20:29they were the most like a sort of father and son team we've ever had,
20:31except a father and son who haven't really spent any time together.
20:35LAUGHTER
20:35It's what you want from the team task.
20:37The crackle of tension.
20:39LAUGHTER
20:40Not some bloody mic-muffling hug.
20:42Thank you very much.
20:44LAUGHTER
20:44Thank you very much.
20:46We all sniff a potato and then get on.
20:49LAUGHTER
20:49Boring!
20:51Not for me and my dad.
20:53LAUGHTER
20:56Do you want to see the boring team of three first?
20:58Yeah, let's get them out of the way, being all nice to each other,
21:00and we can get on to this fucking shit show.
21:03LAUGHTER
21:04All that means.
21:05Here we see Jenny, Kyle and May.
21:08Gather stuff.
21:09Right, OK.
21:09Come on, gang.
21:11I'm getting different stuff.
21:14LAUGHTER
21:14Oh, I've never done this before.
21:16It looks like there's shit on this one.
21:18Do you want it as high as possible?
21:19Barrel on top of the barrel.
21:21Get it high.
21:25Oh, I love your work.
21:26Wait, everyone stop.
21:28I touched the red-green.
21:30Please put everything back, tut, and go back to the door.
21:32No.
21:33I'm sorry.
21:34Why did you tell them?
21:35Why did you tell them?
21:37Why did you tell them?
21:38We have to touch.
21:44Please be careful, Jenny.
21:45Don't do yourself anything.
21:46Don't do it. Stop patronising me.
21:48OK.
21:50Back to the drawing board, please.
21:53Touch the drawing board.
22:00Oh, no!
22:03Oh, no!
22:04No!
22:05No!
22:05Oh, no!
22:05Did it touch it?
22:05I think you may have just touched it.
22:07I did, yeah.
22:08Oh, it touched.
22:11Back to the drawing board.
22:13You think two blue.
22:15Two blue.
22:15Two blue.
22:15Barrels on top.
22:17It's got to be as tall as possible.
22:20I think the best way we're going to do it is with duct tape.
22:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:23Do you think we can get higher than it?
22:25Yes.
22:26Hold on.
22:27How tall are these at the moment?
22:29Like that?
22:30Yeah, we can...
22:31LAUGHTER
22:32OK, OK.
22:33So, we just need duct tape.
22:34We have a new plan.
22:36I'm putting this down.
22:37Fuck that!
22:39Why don't we make this wider?
22:42Three and a half minutes.
22:43Oh, yeah.
22:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:45OK.
22:47Ooh!
22:47No, no, no!
22:48Two minutes, 20.
22:49Careful.
22:50Careful.
22:50I can't bear it.
22:52OK.
22:53Slow raise at the same time.
22:56No.
22:56Come on, magic potato.
22:58Up to the sky.
23:00Up to the sky.
23:02Up to the sky.
23:04Stop the clock, I think.
23:05I thought we could go higher.
23:06No, I'm scared.
23:07I'm coming round to help me.
23:09Oh, careful.
23:09You're lying.
23:11Come on, come on.
23:12Come on.
23:13Higher, higher.
23:14OK, stop the clock.
23:15Stop the clock.
23:15Higher, higher.
23:17No.
23:17Higher.
23:18Stop the clock now.
23:19You want me to measure it?
23:20Yeah.
23:22OK.
23:22Lovely stuff.
23:23Oh.
23:24Well done.
23:25Super teamwork.
23:26No, don't let it touch.
23:29LAUGHTER
23:34First things first, let's see a clip of Jenny getting rid of that plank again.
23:39LAUGHTER
23:40There she is.
23:41Yep.
23:42Fuck that.
23:43LAUGHTER
23:45Yeah.
23:47She did say at one point, it's like a day out with your nana, but quite a weird nana.
23:52LAUGHTER
23:53You got the magic potato up to the sky, and I think you're a lovely team.
23:57Yeah.
23:57They did pretty well.
23:58They got about the same height as, if you imagine, the average three-year-old standing on the shoulders,
24:02or the head, actually, of maybe a taller than an average ten-year-old, or an average eleven-year-old.
24:06That's about the...
24:07And high was it?
24:08Two metres forty, sorry.
24:09LAUGHTER
24:10Now let's see, Frankie and Ivo work together as a pair.
24:14Do you want some chalk?
24:15Yes, I would.
24:16Please.
24:19I don't actually, um, you know, I don't want to come across as too much as a snowflake,
24:23but, er, I don't enjoy the sensation of chalk on a chalkboard.
24:27Ah.
24:29Oh, I like those.
24:30This might inspire something.
24:31I haven't done much with the board yet.
24:36I think I'd probably like to borrow us, er, a board brush.
24:42Er, a board clearer.
24:44A dusting tool.
24:50A lot of pressure on Frankie, I think.
24:52What's your idea?
24:53Well, I've certainly cleared the board.
24:55My idea, right?
24:56Maybe a bad idea.
24:57Yeah, good.
24:57We just try and go from the top of the caravan to the top of that kind of geodesic dome,
25:02and we stick the potato in the middle.
25:05To the top of what?
25:06The geo...
25:06Well, geodesic dome.
25:08The geodesic dome.
25:10Yeah.
25:10A little greenhouse.
25:11Great.
25:13It's really the opposite of the shape we need.
25:18Well.
25:19Well.
25:19That's an ugly start.
25:20It certainly makes you think about what could be achieved closer to the...
25:24Yeah.
25:25I like.
25:26Yeah.
25:27That's lower than the ladder.
25:30That's lower than the ladder.
25:32Well, I think we should abandon that and move nearer to the thing.
25:35Let's get closer.
25:36Yeah, don't drop that.
25:37Can we be in there?
25:38Yeah, we can be human parts of the bridge.
25:40Nothing says we can.
25:41Yes!
25:42I'm going to have a bit of a rootle round the house.
25:46We could roll it in a tube.
25:48Mate.
25:49The second ladder.
25:51Frankie!
25:52Yeah.
25:54Perhaps we should have done more work on our planning phase.
25:56I think skipping the plan was thrilling.
26:00Now measure the blighter.
26:01Yes.
26:01Yes.
26:02I don't really know how to measure it.
26:04What's the matter, Alex?
26:05Can't reach our sfud.
26:09There we go.
26:10Very happy with that.
26:11Well done, Ivo.
26:12I'm going to let this go now.
26:15APPLAUSE
26:19This is like a 1970s sitcom.
26:22People from a different class.
26:26I'm the lord, but he's the master.
26:28I feel, despite what might seem like differences between us,
26:34I've got nothing but love for Mr Ivo Graham,
26:36and I felt that most of the success of the task
26:41was due to Ivo prompting me to be less wrong.
26:47A really genuinely sweet thing that somehow still sounded like a threat.
26:55How high did they go, though?
26:56It was as high as Hagrid jumping over a loaf of bread.
26:59Well, he's two metres 59.
27:01Two metres 81.
27:0341 centimetres higher than the team of three.
27:05Well, they were both fairly effective, weren't they?
27:07Yes, but there must be a golf.
27:09Yeah, five and three.
27:10OK, so three points to the team of three.
27:11Five points to Daddy and Son.
27:13To Daddy and Son.
27:18Let's have a rootle around and see if we can get another task.
27:21Yes, here we go.
27:23Deep breath.
27:39OK, Al.
27:40Hazard.
27:42Watch this.
27:50How'd you do that?
27:52Uh-huh.
27:55That was cool.
27:56Thank you.
27:59Did that not work?
28:00We're going to go the other way up.
28:06All right, Chief.
28:08Are you ready?
28:08Oh, yeah.
28:15Achieve the most impressive effect with a single breath.
28:20You must take your breath and achieve your effect within the next 20 minutes.
28:25The most impressive effect.
28:28Effect.
28:31Hmm.
28:32Blowing out a candle.
28:36Not in itself very impressive.
28:38But perhaps if it achieved complete darkness within a space,
28:42that would be quite boring and bad television.
28:47I need to find a dying frog.
28:49Or send a tiny bird that I can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to.
28:55Is it raining?
28:56No?
28:57All right.
28:57Come on then.
29:01APPLAUSE
29:03Is this the first time in 15 series of this show
29:06that we've been asked for a dying frog?
29:08Second.
29:09Second.
29:09Second time.
29:10Well, I'm very keen to see the impressive effect
29:13that these people did with a single breath.
29:16Oh.
29:21Lovely.
29:22OK, up first, it's May and Kael.
29:26Hello again.
29:27Hi.
29:28This is just phase one.
29:31So we need some pipes.
29:32Cut the bricks.
29:34This is going to be incredible.
29:40I've never worked so hard in my life.
29:45Right, you put a mop on a duck, on a shed.
29:49Yes.
29:50You've got four minutes, May.
29:52Oh, my God.
29:56Ah!
29:57That's not even science, man.
30:00I'm going to blow it down.
30:01One huge breath.
30:03And then, hopefully, it's going to hit the xylophone.
30:07That's the end.
30:07That'll be...
30:08That'll be the...
30:09Ah!
30:13Oh, my God.
30:21Good luck, Kael.
30:22Ah!
30:25Ready?
30:26Good luck.
30:28Don't...
30:29Fail me.
30:30OK.
30:32You ready?
30:33I'm ready.
30:34Are you ready?
30:36They're ready.
30:37I'm ready.
30:40I'm ready.
31:04Oh!
31:05Oh!
31:07Ficci-ficci!
31:09Oh, meu Deus!
31:10That was satisfying.
31:30Vou jogar isso com um só de breath.
31:33Ficci-ficci!
31:34Someone's going to say that that was going to be more impressive
31:36than what I did.
31:37And I'm going to kick off.
31:45I think you're fast becoming an expert at these tasks.
31:49Oh, thank you.
31:50They beaver away, they create something...
31:54I beaver away...
31:55Famously.
32:07..and what a lovely pipe at the end of it as well.
32:10There was a real contrast between the two.
32:11Oh, come on!
32:13What Kyle's very good at is having the confidence of someone
32:16who's doing a good job.
32:17LAUGHTER
32:17Your self-belief is sensational.
32:20I don't really take into consideration
32:22that I'm not able to blow a golf ball.
32:25LAUGHTER
32:26Oh, no, stuff went wrong way before that.
32:30Next up are two comedians
32:32known simply as Jenny Eclair and Frankie Boyle.
32:35Hello, Jenny.
32:36Hello, Alex.
32:37I'd like to show you my party trick.
32:40The most impressive thing I can do with a single breath
32:42is save this caravan.
32:46About here, is it?
32:47Yeah.
32:50You just need to be ready to duck.
32:53I'm ready to duck.
32:54I'm going to save this caravan from a roaring inferno.
33:03Jenny?
33:05LAUGHTER
33:20Jenny?
33:23I saved the caravan!
33:25Is it definitely out?
33:26Yeah.
33:27Was it one breath?
33:28One breath.
33:29Can I just check?
33:30Can we stand down all the fire officers now?
33:33It's like you're over the top, doesn't it?
33:35There's a lot of them.
33:36Thank you, Jenny.
33:56Thank you, Jenny.
34:00A single breath.
34:04Do you think it was impressive?
34:06It would have been impressive if they'd let me really set fire to the curtains,
34:09but they would have been a bit wet about it.
34:11Yeah.
34:11So it is their fault.
34:12But really, it was just you blowing up the corner of a curtain.
34:17She saved the caravan.
34:19There's no doubt about it.
34:19If she hadn't blown it out, it would have been...
34:21It would have been a blazing inferno.
34:22Yeah.
34:22Why was I so impressed by Frankie Boyle being a naughty boy?
34:27LAUGHTER
34:27Everyone hates golf.
34:30LAUGHTER
34:31Everyone.
34:32I've never really played golf because I'm not trapped in a loveless marriage.
34:38LAUGHTER
34:42Frankie got slightly lucky because our garden backs onto a golf course.
34:45Your first instincts were to blow a whistle in a matinee or a church.
34:48LAUGHTER
34:50Both of which I would have enjoyed.
34:52There's only one person left to see, and it's Ivo!
34:56Can I try and get on the radio and just breathe?
35:00LAUGHTER
35:04Yeah, that's impressive.
35:06Yeah.
35:06When I'm speaking to the producer, I'm a bit more like,
35:10er, yes, I've got an opinion about wind farms,
35:11but then once I'm on the air...
35:14Erm, five live.
35:18Yeah, you've got...
35:19Yeah, I know.
35:20...twelve minutes.
35:23I've just hung up.
35:26Er, I'll instead call, er, Greg.
35:30Will you recognise your breath?
35:35Hello, I'm sorry for the person you've called.
35:37No!
35:40That's agony.
35:42That's agony.
35:44I will breathe down the phone today.
35:47LAUGHTER
35:55All right.
35:57Three and a half minutes.
35:58Am I going?
35:59Yep.
36:01Er, I'd like to apologise for the willful damage of fancy glassware.
36:07I call Ed Gamble, previous Taskmaster contestant,
36:10winner and host of the Taskmaster podcast.
36:14PHONE RINGS
36:15PHONE RINGS
36:18PHONE RINGS
36:19Hello, Izo.
36:23PHONE RINGS
36:26PHONE RINGS
36:35PHONE RINGS
36:39PHONE RINGS
36:40Is Ed still on the line?
36:41No, I hung up.
36:42PHONE RINGS
36:44It feels like one point, doesn't it?
36:47APPLAUSE
36:50I mean, the whole attempt was extraordinary.
36:53The trouble is, nothing happened.
36:54It was a single breath, and the single breath, it had no effect at all.
36:59My instinct is to say Ivo gets one point, but then I remember Jenny blowing on the corner of a
37:04curtain.
37:06I'm going to give them both one point.
37:09You're giving Jenny fewer points than Kael.
37:12Hey, hey, hey, look, don't bring me in here.
37:15He's having a nice time over here, let him do his thinking.
37:18He blew at a golf ball three times and nothing happened.
37:20Hey, hey, hey, look.
37:21He constructed a thing.
37:23I can't believe what's going on here.
37:26I just, I need to report from the front line, and it was very disappointing.
37:31Yeah, the first three, and then the fourth one was fucking sick.
37:36Yeah, but it was a single breath, Kael.
37:38Do you know what it is?
37:39I've been hypnotised by your charm.
37:41And I was about to give you two points when you don't deserve them.
37:44Alex!
37:44Thank God my little assistant's here.
37:47So you can have one point as well.
37:49Shit, same!
37:51One point.
37:52Hank, mine is the same, the same.
37:55Yeah.
37:56I don't know where that thing is pointing.
38:01One, one, one.
38:02I mean, I've got to say, I'm not especially impressed with any of these.
38:07Right, OK.
38:07What about me?
38:08What about the bing at the end?
38:10The bing was good.
38:11But is it a five-point bing?
38:13Yeah.
38:14I don't think it's a five-point bing.
38:16Are you sure you just haven't become jaded with the concept of the short?
38:22I don't think that's the case.
38:23If we haven't got a five-point bing, and I can't give a grown man putting a golfer off five
38:28points.
38:31Who wins the task, Greg?
38:33OK, May wins the task.
38:34And I've already told you it wasn't a five-point bing,
38:36so logic would tell you that May gets four points and Frankie gets three.
38:40OK, so well done, May.
38:41You sort of won the task.
38:42Four points!
38:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
38:48Kyle, are you all right?
38:49I'm fuming.
38:51LAUGHTER
38:53One last look at the scores.
38:55At the top of the pile, it's Frankie Boyle with 16 points.
38:58Wow.
38:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:01OK, it's time to leave your seats and head to the stage for, guess what?
39:05The final task of the show!
39:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:17I'm already excited.
39:18Oh, yes.
39:19Who's going to read it out?
39:20I vote Graham this time.
39:21Ah.
39:22Create a recognisable picture of an animal on the back of your T-shirt
39:26using the equipment provided.
39:28You must stay on your spot and you must not move your spot.
39:33If you create the same animal as someone else, you will both be disqualified.
39:39Best recognisable picture of an animal on your back wins.
39:42You have 200 seconds.
39:43Put an animal on your back.
39:44If it's the same animal as someone else, you get nothing.
39:46Good luck.
39:47Your time starts.
39:47WHISTLE BLOWS
39:52What sort of animals are you hoping for, Greg?
39:55Baboon.
39:57Hedgehog.
39:59OK.
40:01Do you want to remember on the backs of your T-shirts?
40:06We've got halfway.
40:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
40:17Go on, Jenny.
40:18Unless you're darling, that's very kind.
40:21That's it.
40:21That's all we need in terms of audience interactions.
40:24One woman shouting, go on, Jenny.
40:27Do you want the same woman to shout anything again?
40:30They could encourage a different contestant.
40:31No, that's that.
40:3435 seconds left now, Greg.
40:36Not wrong.
40:36I mean, Kyle completed his about two, four minutes ago.
40:41Frankie is also finished.
40:45Oh, shit.
40:47Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two...
40:55Please put down your materials.
40:59APPLAUSE
41:04First to reveal the animal, it's going to be Frankie Boyle.
41:07Are you ready to witness his animal?
41:08I'm absolutely beside myself.
41:12LAUGHTER
41:15APPLAUSE
41:18It's the unmistakably rigid shape of a deceased snake.
41:24LAUGHTER
41:25Frankie, is that what you were trying to achieve?
41:26Yes.
41:27Yes.
41:28If there's one thing you famously say about snakes,
41:32they are straight.
41:35LAUGHTER
41:35A lot of different kinds of snakes, Greg.
41:38LAUGHTER
41:40Can we see the second animal?
41:42OK, Ivo, please turn round and show us your animal.
41:47LAUGHTER
41:49Bearing in mind that Ivo was the only person who discovered the scissors.
41:53I don't love what that implies.
41:57What animal is it, Greg?
41:58I think it's a jaunty giraffe.
42:00I aimed for jaunty and I'm glad that's been recognised.
42:04LAUGHTER
42:04Is it a giraffe?
42:05Oh, oh, yes.
42:07LAUGHTER
42:08Jenny Eclair, what do we have?
42:11Butterfly.
42:12Butterfly.
42:13And it's really good.
42:14They all like it.
42:15APPLAUSE
42:17This is Jenny's finest doubt.
42:20LAUGHTER
42:21Are we ready for Kael's?
42:22Kael used 30 seconds of his allotted time.
42:28LAUGHTER
42:28Oh.
42:30Oh.
42:31Oh.
42:32Oh, dear.
42:32Oh, no.
42:33This seems very cruel.
42:35But sadly, it's another snake.
42:37It could be a sticky insect.
42:40LAUGHTER
42:40Is it a snake, Kael?
42:42It's a bendy snake.
42:44Good point.
42:46Frankie and Kael were first and second in the episode.
42:48Cruelly disqualified.
42:50Both now out.
42:51OK, May.
42:55Oh, my God, that's good.
42:57Why is that so good?
42:57It's not just a bit of tape stuck on a board, Kael.
43:00That's why it's good.
43:02LAUGHTER
43:04I think it might be an extinct bird.
43:07A dodo?
43:08Oh.
43:10Sure, it's enough to say it's a bird.
43:12Yeah, it's a duck.
43:13It's a bird.
43:14It's a bird.
43:15It's a bird.
43:15OK.
43:16Two snakes bite the dust.
43:18Who'd have thought that the heel-clicking jaunted giraffe
43:20would get three points?
43:21And yet, there it is, three points to the giraffe.
43:23And honestly, they're both very good,
43:26but for me, Jenny's beautiful butterfly just takes it.
43:29So, four points to May and five points to Jenny Eclair,
43:32and that's an end to it.
43:33OK, there we go.
43:34Well done, Jenny Eclair.
43:37Come down and we'll see how that's expected.
43:38The final scores!
43:40APPLAUSE
43:47Well, that's got to put the old proverbial cat amongst the pigeons,
43:51hasn't it?
43:51It really hasn't.
43:52And none of them made cats or pigeons.
43:53They made beautiful animals.
43:54Yes, they did.
43:55Unfortunately, there were two snakes.
43:56The final scores are so close.
43:58There's only three points separating the five of them.
43:59Frankie and May are in joint second place,
44:01but the winner was 17 points, Ivo Graham!
44:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:08Ivo Graham wins!
44:10Please leap up to look at your objects and feel weird!
44:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:16So, what have we learnt today?
44:18We've learnt that if your husband's back late from a round of golf,
44:21he's not necessarily having an affair.
44:23His swing might have been impeded by Frankie Boyle's whistle.
44:26That's all for now.
44:28Four people didn't win this week, but one definitely did.
44:31And you know who it was?
44:31I know!
44:32It was Ivo Graham!
44:34APPLAUSE
44:35Bye!
44:35Thank you guys!
44:36APPLAUSE
45:05Bye!
Comentários