- há 13 minutos
Categoria
😹
DivertimentoTranscrição
00:00.
00:01.
00:03.
00:03.
00:03.
00:07.
00:10.
00:12.
00:12.
00:14.
00:15.
00:15.
00:17.
00:17.
00:19.
00:19.
00:20.
00:21.
00:21.
00:22.
00:22.
00:22.
00:22.
00:23.
00:23.
00:25.
00:27.
00:28.
00:28.
00:34.
00:34.
00:34.
00:34.
00:34.
00:36.
00:36.
00:36.
00:37.
00:37.
00:37.
00:37.
00:38.
00:38.
00:38.
00:38.
00:39.
00:40.
00:40.
00:41.
00:41.
00:41.
00:41.
00:41.
00:41.
00:41.
00:42.
00:42.
00:42.
00:43.
00:44.
00:44.
00:44.
00:44.
00:44.
00:44.
00:45.
00:46,
00:46.
00:47.
00:47You haven't even seen it, you've been dead for 15 years.
00:50You're such a chopsy naan, why can't you say...
00:54Well, they've not got a ghost knitting club.
00:58Back in this dimension things are going well for some
01:01and really badly for others.
01:04Please welcome our earthly five who are still alive.
01:07They are...
01:17E Sarah Millican!
01:23E next to me, a man who docks the I's and crosses the T's,
01:27he wets the bed he likes to please,
01:28he cries a lot, his winkle smells,
01:31and he still shoplifts to get attention!
01:36It's little Alex Hall!
01:41Hi!
01:43Oh, how have you been since the last show?
01:45Terrific, thank you, I've joined a cult.
01:47Oh, have you? Love it, love it, love the cult, yeah.
01:49Just a small one, just the three of us, me, my wife, Alan.
01:52That's it, just the three of us in Alan's vehicle.
01:55Right, and what are you doing there?
01:58Never you mind, Greg.
02:00Right then, I'm with the show popper.
02:03What's the old prize task then?
02:05Hmm, great question, Greg.
02:07I'm on it, PapoGD, and today you have asked them
02:10to bring in the best thing you've ever received in the post.
02:14Ooh!
02:14Ooh!
02:15Hey guys, remember post?
02:16They shove stuff through a hole in your door.
02:19Greg here will give five points to the person
02:20he thinks has brought in the best thing they've received in the post,
02:22and then at the end of the show, the overall winner
02:24will take home all five things to start a new life in a new home.
02:28It's very post-modern.
02:32So, I have brought in the Succotron 3000.
02:36Here it is.
02:37This isn't the official name, so don't Google it,
02:39because I don't know what's going to come up.
02:42Greg, have you ever been sat there on your laptop devouring a bag of crisps
02:47and you look down at the keyboard and there's enough crumbs to feed a small family?
02:51Has that ever happened to you?
02:52Of course it has.
02:53OK.
02:54Now...
02:54Have a look.
02:56This thing here sucks those crumbs.
02:59By the way, I have Googled Succotron 3000.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Ooh!
03:06It comes up...
03:07God!
03:07That looks like it smells!
03:12Sarah, can you beat a mini vacuum?
03:14So, from the age of about 10 or 12, I've loved Philip Schofield.
03:20And I had a lot of posters of him and I took a photo of myself,
03:25of me in my bedroom, with my perm and all of my posters of Philip Schofield.
03:31and I sent it to him, presumably for him to keep...
03:36He sent it back!
03:39Just came through the post to Sarah.
03:42Oh!
03:43Whoa!
03:46That shit's weird.
03:48Look how pleased I am!
03:50He's not on the crucifix, is he?
03:57A true fan!
03:59It's sort of so on the line between being quite sweet and being terrifying.
04:05This is very strong so far.
04:06OK, so far, who's next?
04:08Fern.
04:08I don't know if this is the best thing or the worst thing,
04:10but for years now my mum has been sending me the most unbelievably ugly pants
04:17that I've ever seen.
04:18Here are Fern's mum's pants.
04:23My mum, I believe, was sending me these as some sort of chastity belt type thing.
04:29And was there a note with them?
04:31Just this is a little present for you.
04:35Love mum.
04:36Yes.
04:38John, can you beat some special pants?
04:41I've gone down the same route Sarah has.
04:44OK.
04:44Nostalgia.
04:45Yep.
04:45My Dennis the Menace fan club membership and badges.
04:50Here it is.
04:51Sweet.
04:53I'm surprised, John, because I was a member of that as well.
04:56But surely it's a significant golf in our ages.
04:59Yeah, two generations I had down.
05:00All right.
05:02LAUGHTER
05:04You know, if you met another member.
05:06Which you just have.
05:07Yeah, so I say ding, you say...
05:11Don stood for Dennis owns Naughty Gnasher.
05:17I can't remember what ding stood for.
05:20Dennis is never good, is the ding one.
05:23Ah.
05:23Yeah.
05:24That's really sweet, John.
05:25And very clever, because you've tapped into my childhood as well.
05:28Um, Dara.
05:29I brought a thing that shouldn't be sent in the post,
05:31which is an entire turkey.
05:34There it is.
05:35LAUGHTER
05:40Wow.
05:40My mother's cousins lived in County Mayo, they had a farm,
05:43and every Christmas they would send us the turkey we ate at Christmas.
05:47This was full turkey, head squeezed in, box just wrapped around it,
05:52misshape, and you'd pop it up like whatever.
05:54Wah!
05:56Beer.
05:57Proper, pre-butcher turkey in the post,
06:00and we'd collect it from the post depot every year.
06:03Round about...
06:03Yeah, someone's going to win that tonight.
06:07LAUGHTER
06:08What's the worst thing to receive through the post, Greg?
06:11What's the worst thing to receive through the post?
06:13I mean, probably the worst thing to receive,
06:14and I think she'd agree with me, is Fern's mum's pants.
06:18Don't, but don't keep saying mum's pants,
06:21cos she might be upset when this goes out.
06:23You're only getting one point, and she's going to be angry anyway.
06:27What?!
06:27I'm only getting one!
06:29It's the best that...
06:29Oh, yeah!
06:30Sorry!
06:32The competition was the best thing!
06:34Right, so, one point to Fern Brady.
06:37I mean, in many ways, it's the thing that makes my heart sing the most,
06:40but I also think it's awful to get a turkey through the post.
06:43Cos not the best thing.
06:45That was a Christmas.
06:45I'm not suggesting for a second that your Christmases weren't heartbreaking done.
06:50OK, so two points to Dara O'Brien.
06:52He tapped into my childhood.
06:54We crossed the generations like the true ding-dongers we are.
06:56I'll give him three points.
06:57OK, three points to John Kern.
06:58Well done.
06:59So, it's the top two now.
07:00Monja or Sarah?
07:01Let me tell you, my keyboard looks like a war zone.
07:06But I'm only going to give it four points.
07:08Oh!
07:08Obviously, the best thing to get through the post
07:10is a picture of Sarah Millican surrounded by Philip Schofields.
07:14Everyone knows that.
07:15There it is.
07:15Five points.
07:16Well done, Sarah Millican.
07:20Well, what's first, please?
07:23Mmm...
07:24Mmm...
07:39Hello.
07:40Hello, Monja.
07:43Oh!
07:44Oh!
07:44I love milk.
07:46Microwaves and plinth.
07:47Milk or microwaves.
07:50This is what we're having for tea.
07:54Bread.
07:58Peas.
08:00Yes, there's five minutes to go on that.
08:03And there is just a minute to go on what appears to be just bread.
08:08Is this just your lunch?
08:09There's a lot of peas for one person.
08:12I would worry about your guts.
08:13Do you like peas?
08:15Erm...
08:15I don't like milky peas.
08:19And there's a metal bowl there as well.
08:21Yep.
08:21So stuff's got to get mixed.
08:23Stuff's got to get mixed.
08:25Shall I open my tasks?
08:28I wouldn't open it yet.
08:30OK.
08:32I wouldn't open it yet.
08:35I wouldn't open it yet if I were you.
08:37No.
08:37I wouldn't open it just yet.
08:39Why?
08:39I'm just saying I wouldn't open it yet.
08:45I should open this because, you know, this thing's counting down.
08:49Yeah.
08:49And you just said, well, I wouldn't if I were you.
08:51I wouldn't if I were you.
08:52But that's the kind of thing where it'll get in the two minutes and you go,
08:54why didn't you open it?
08:55Mm-hmm.
08:56So I'm not allowed to look at this yet?
08:57You're allowed to look at that whenever you want.
08:59You said no, though.
09:00You're allowed to?
09:01I'd say I wouldn't if I were you.
09:02Bye.
09:03I know what's in it.
09:10Let me ask you a thought of all of you.
09:12How does it make you feel when Alex does something like that?
09:15What emotional response?
09:16No, no, I'm sorry.
09:17Are we doing therapy now?
09:19Just wondering how it makes you feel about Alex, that's all.
09:21I feel powerless.
09:26Come on then, milky peas.
09:27Oh, I've got a nickname.
09:30Well, we're going to begin by standing firm with John and Fern.
09:35When do I open it?
09:36Whenever you want.
09:39Wouldn't open it yet if I were you.
09:41Yeah, but you're not me.
09:42What's your name?
09:43John.
09:44Start sign?
09:45Kearns.
09:49Really?
09:49Start sign.
09:50Oh.
09:52Oh, but we usually go first name.
09:54Right.
09:55Then they go last name.
09:56Right.
09:57Aries.
10:0028 minutes.
10:02Place of birth.
10:03St Thomas' Hospital.
10:05Are you opening it?
10:05Do you want me to open it?
10:07I wouldn't open it.
10:07But why are you saying that?
10:09It's your star sign.
10:10Gemini.
10:11How high can you jump?
10:13Ooh.
10:16Foot.
10:19Ah.
10:20Bread's ready.
10:21What's other questions?
10:23Who's your favourite singer, John?
10:25Er, Rufus Wainwright.
10:27Yuck.
10:29Ah.
10:33You've got more questions if you want them.
10:35Yeah, go with them.
10:36Phobias?
10:36No, nothing.
10:37Biggest regret?
10:37I'm not going to say I haven't lived my life without regrets,
10:41but I tend not to dwell on them.
10:43Just give me a regret.
10:45I don't really have any,
10:46but I'm not one of these kind of people that doesn't have regrets.
10:49You do have regrets?
10:50I've got regrets, yeah.
10:50Right, what's the biggest one?
10:55Have you been to Greece?
10:56No, you're mad, huh?
10:57Have you been to Greece?
11:00Within 30 seconds of opening this task,
11:02you must pick up both milk bottles
11:05and hold them directly above the microwaves.
11:07The clock stops when a milk bottle,
11:10hand...
11:10...or arm...
11:11...touches the microwave.
11:13...or is no longer directly above a microwave.
11:16Lowest number on the clock wins,
11:18but if the clock reaches zero,
11:19you're disqualified.
11:21I'm a strong boy.
11:23I'm not joking.
11:24I've had a shoulder injury recently,
11:27and I can't eat.
11:29Mm-hmm.
11:29You can put...
11:30There we go.
11:30Thank you.
11:37Few regrets now.
11:38Mm-hmm.
11:39I'll try to warn you.
11:46Um...
11:46It's just struck the mic with this.
11:48I'll stop the clock.
11:49That's why I didn't want you to open the task.
11:51Why?
11:52Well, so the clock will go down more.
11:56Oh...
11:56So it's OK, so someone might do worse?
11:59Yeah, someone might do worse.
12:00OK.
12:01OK, bye.
12:08I quote John during the actual task.
12:10Fuck this.
12:13Cos he kept asking me my biggest regret.
12:15You don't have regrets.
12:17Although...
12:18...you're not someone who doesn't have regrets.
12:21I've got regrets.
12:22We've all got regrets.
12:23We've all got regrets.
12:24But I don't live with them.
12:25So where are they?
12:29Oh, they're up there.
12:31But I don't go there.
12:34You shut the door.
12:35Oh, they're high.
12:36They're top shelf.
12:37They're top shelf.
12:38You can't reach them.
12:38You can't get to them.
12:41I can't get to my regrets.
12:43What?
12:44Enjoy that task?
12:44No, I didn't have a shoulder injury.
12:47How'd you injure your shoulder?
12:47I went to the gym and then I was trying to compete with the man next to me.
12:52Do you regret the whole thing down the gym or not?
12:54Yeah, I do really regret it.
12:57It really messed me up for ages and then meant I messed up that task.
13:00Well, maybe take that regret and pop it in John's mind shelf.
13:05Next up, it's Derry Dara, Sarah, Milky Can and the Milkman Munya.
13:11Here we go.
13:11What's your star sign?
13:13Er...
13:14Aquarius.
13:16I've got more questions.
13:17I bet you do.
13:18What's your name?
13:20Sarah.
13:20Sarah.
13:21Millican.
13:22How high can you jump or what's the highest you've ever jumped?
13:24Just little.
13:25Like the size of a mouse.
13:26What's your name?
13:28No, I'm not playing.
13:29Let me...
13:29Let me check this.
13:30Within 30 seconds of opening this task, you must pick up both milk bottles and hold them
13:33directly above the microwaves.
13:34Any opinions on milk?
13:35Gives me the shit.
13:37How much do you need to have?
13:38I wouldn't want that about.
13:40That's six points.
13:41Might as well just pour it straight through.
13:45Erm...
13:46But, Jesus, but if the clock reaches zero, you are disqualified.
13:55Oh.
13:56Well, you...
13:57Wait, what?
13:59Hang on, what?
14:00Wait.
14:01Wait, what?
14:03Lift them above the microwaves.
14:04Ready?
14:06Right, okay.
14:10Yes!
14:12Well done.
14:12You see that?
14:13Yeah.
14:13I've got to keep my biceps contracted like a constipated eagle.
14:19Oh!
14:20It's exciting, isn't it?
14:21Even after all these years, it's an exciting one of the microwave things.
14:26Wait, what?
14:27What clock?
14:28Have I...
14:29Have I stopped?
14:30Yeah, you've stopped.
14:31Yeah, you put the milk bottles on the microwave.
14:32Oh, no!
14:39Arse.
14:42Oh, you know what?
14:42We're going to do it.
14:46Hold them up.
14:47Ooh, I need to lift them up.
14:49Like that.
14:51This is heavy.
14:52Yeah.
14:53Shoulders start to hurt a bit.
14:57I could technically raise my arms.
14:59Yes, it must be over the... directly over the microwave still.
15:04I don't know if this is more difficult or easier.
15:08It's impressive.
15:11How long have I been doing this?
15:12Three minutes.
15:14At no point did you say they had to be full, though, did you?
15:17Take that off.
15:18Right.
15:19Yeah.
15:21Yeah, it's done.
15:22I can't help you.
15:26Sorry, everybody.
15:30Like a milky torture.
15:37Oh!
15:38That's it, Nick.
15:39Just...
15:41Yeah.
15:43Oh, now that's just touched there.
15:44Oh, has it?
15:45Yes, that's enough.
15:47Oh, no.
15:47Look at my boots.
15:49Look at the floor.
15:50Oh, I should have tipped them out before.
15:54I could have brought that to you.
15:56Sorry, everybody.
15:57Thank you.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:04To drain the milky-mout vessels.
16:07Very clever.
16:08Very clever.
16:08I felt...
16:09I didn't want to make a mess, and I felt really bad.
16:11I made such a mess.
16:12Throughout the series, whenever...
16:14Like, Monday, when you came into the lab,
16:15every time you went,
16:15it stinks in here.
16:17Throughout the series.
16:20That's her.
16:20That's her.
16:22And if you think that's bad,
16:24you should go round to Dara's at Christmas.
16:28They said they're cleaned,
16:29and there was a pocket they couldn't find
16:31because it still stank,
16:32and then eventually it was found.
16:33It was under the flooring.
16:34Millican's milky pocket.
16:37By stark contrast,
16:40get a bit confused, old man.
16:44That has haunted me.
16:48And it is on a low rung of the regret shelf.
16:53Yes.
16:53Oh, one you can easily access?
16:55Oh, eye level.
16:55It is absolutely eye level.
16:57Well, much like on a summer's day,
16:59if you're wandering through a meadow
17:00and you might just catch a beautiful butterfly.
17:03We've caught the moment where Dara realised
17:05that he's totally fucked this.
17:09Wait, what?
17:11Hang on, what?
17:12Wait.
17:13Wait, what?
17:16Yes.
17:18So it's...
17:18Wait, what?
17:19Yes.
17:20Wait, what?
17:22What?
17:22Yeah.
17:24Munya does everything with absolute commitment.
17:28It's incredible.
17:29I imagine you clean your teeth like,
17:31let's do this.
17:34In my mind, I felt like Moses in the Red Sea.
17:37It's cold in the milk, frickin', the microwave is blowing, that's Jesus whispering to me.
17:43Honestly, I had a vision.
17:46Well, yeah, I mean, Sarah did it well in every single way.
17:48She delayed the most with the questions and then she found her technique, so she did well.
17:52Lowest number wins.
17:54Dara, unfortunately, comes last.
17:5726 minutes 55.
17:59Fern gets two points with 26 minutes and four seconds.
18:02Then, Munya, who held them up for over four minutes, which is amazing.
18:05Each one is the weight of a chihuahua, genuinely.
18:0825 minutes and four seconds.
18:10John held out longer than you, though.
18:1223 minutes and 30 seconds.
18:13Sarah wins it, though, with 16 minutes and 58 seconds and five points.
18:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:20Right.
18:21Scoreboard, please.
18:23Well, I can tell you Dara and Fern are in joint last,
18:25John and Munya in joint second.
18:27Sarah, though, is in the lead with ten points.
18:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:33Well, I, for one, am ready for another.
18:35Oh, well, I'm ready for a holiday.
18:37MUSIC PLAYS
18:58Hello.
18:59What's on your iPad?
19:02Oh, Fern Brady.
19:03Is that you?
19:05Er, that's me, yeah.
19:08Yeah.
19:09Hello, Bryn.
19:11Yes, that's me.
19:12I'm waiting for Munya Chihuahua.
19:14Yes, that's me.
19:14You even spelled my name right.
19:16Sick.
19:18Hello.
19:19Welcome home.
19:19Is this your suitcase?
19:20No, that's your suitcase.
19:21Oh, no.
19:23Where are we off to today?
19:26Get to the end of the lanes in exactly the same amount of time.
19:30One lane, two lanes.
19:33That time must be under one minute.
19:35Courses two times wins.
19:38Also, you must mirror yourself during your attempts.
19:41There are two bonus points for the most stylish mirroring.
19:45Mirroring.
19:47Mirroring.
19:49Both attempts must take place within the next ten minutes.
19:53This is lane one there.
19:55Yeah.
19:55On the flat.
19:56Yeah.
19:57This is lane two.
19:57It's a travelator.
19:58Yeah.
19:59And you want to reach to the ends of them at exactly the same time.
20:03I can tell you, if you were stationary on that.
20:05Yes.
20:05It takes about one minute twenty-five.
20:06The time I do it in must be under a minute, so I cannot be stationary on it.
20:11Mmm.
20:11Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky.
20:12But there's no point going quick on here, because that would mean I have to go double quick there.
20:18Can you go double quick?
20:20Greg will give style points to most stylish people.
20:24From Greg.
20:26Style points from Greg.
20:32Right, it's a pretty straightforward thing.
20:34Just as a personal note, I absolutely love those things.
20:36I genuinely could ride one of those all day.
20:38It's not that interesting, but I'm never more at peace.
20:44Shall I show them what they did?
20:45Yeah, yeah.
20:46Yeah, look at them, yeah.
20:49First up, it's Sarah and Sarah.
20:53Good luck.
20:54Thank you.
20:55Good luck.
20:56Thank you.
20:59Thank you.
21:36Well, it was very accurate.
21:38Thank you.
21:39It says to it stylishly.
21:41They had a nice cord on.
21:43Well, it's not.
21:48It's not.
21:49It's not.
21:50Next, here's what the Daras did.
21:53It's not.
21:57That's it.
22:05It's not.
22:07It's not.
22:09It's not!
22:09It's not.
22:12It's not.
22:13It was a little old.
22:15It's not.
22:15It's not.
22:16It's not.
22:20Oh, and you're not.
22:33A CIDADE NO BRASIL
23:19A CIDADE NO BRASIL
23:25A CIDADE NO BRASIL
23:26A CIDADE NO BRASIL
23:27I DON'T THINK YOU'D EXPECT ME TO SKIP LIKE THAT
23:30CORRECT
23:31THAT'S QUITE A WILLY WONKER VIBE YOU HAD GOING ON I THOUGHT
23:34YEAH I'M FASTER THAN I LOOK
23:37SEE
23:38I'M MAKING OUT OF THAT
23:40YOU MAKING OUT
23:41IF JOHN IS FASTER THAN ELE
23:42WELL I HAVE TO GO INTO NOTES
23:46HERE IS MANYA
23:48RIGHT HERE WE GO
23:49HERE WE GO
23:49START
23:50ONE
23:52TWO
23:53THREE
23:54TEN
23:56SEX
23:56TWO
23:56TWO
23:58TWO
24:04TWO
24:04TWO
24:06TWO
24:07TWO
24:07TWO
24:08TWO
24:09TWO
24:10TWO
24:11TWO
24:12TWO
24:14TWO
24:14TWO
24:17TWO
24:18TWO
24:19TWO
24:19TWO
24:22TWO
24:25TWO
24:27TWO
24:28TWO
24:28TWO
24:44TWO
24:45TWO
24:45I WAS IN AWE
24:46YEAH
24:47DARA
24:48Ehm
24:48DID HE EVER CROSS THE LINE?
24:50OH LIKE THAT IS IT
24:51OH DARA
24:52IS THIS THE MAN WHO HELD MILK FOR A MICROSECON?
24:55MICROSECON?
24:56TALKING TO ME MR WAIT
24:57AND YOU ALL HAD A BIG FUCKING PARTY ABOUT THAT
25:01HOLD ME BACK JOHN HOLD ME BACK HOLD ME BACK
25:04IT WOULD SEEM MONSTROUS TO STRIPPING OF HIS POINTS
25:08BUT I GUESS IF THAT'S WHAT DARA WANTS
25:19WOULD YOU COUNT THAT AS THE END OF THE WALK GREG?
25:21I SUPPOSE THE QUESTION
25:22THAT'S THE BIG QUESTION ISN'T IT?
25:25I THINK
25:26ENOUGH OF THAT CASE IS OVER THE LINE THAT'S WHAT I THINK
25:28YEAH DARA
25:31WHO'S LEFT?
25:32WELL FINALLY
25:34IT'S FERN
25:35READY
25:36READY
25:54READY
26:07READY
26:08READY
26:08READY
26:08READY
26:08WELL
26:22WELL
26:24It sounds like you're a people's champion anyway
26:27Are you talking us through your performance, Fern?
26:30From my point of view I've written down
26:32laclustre and wildly inaccurate
26:36I tried really hard
26:39I feel like I don't know what's real anymore
26:48Because at the time I kind of thought
26:50there was some airport staff
26:52and they were looking at me funny
26:54but I thought
26:57they were just really jealous of my costume
27:03I didn't know it was that bad
27:14Unfortunately, Fern, on one side of the path
27:18she did it in 29 seconds
27:19the other in 45 seconds
27:21a 16 second difference
27:23in comparison, the two Daras had a 4 second difference
27:26the two Munyas a 3 second difference
27:27the two Johns, half a second difference
27:29Sarah, negligible difference at all
27:32So Sarah definitely gets the 5 points
27:34Oh, no
27:35APPLAUSE
27:39Between Monia and John for the style points
27:42It's most stylish mirroring
27:44I think one style point each is fair
27:45One bonus style point to Monia and one to John
27:48APPLAUSE
27:49OK
27:51I'd like another lovely little task, please
27:52Good
27:53Well, here's a lovely little task
27:55where they wear some lovely little messy hats
28:13Hello
28:13Oh, hi there
28:18Hello, Dara
28:20Hello
28:21Do you like this?
28:22I think so
28:25And actually, before you're open
28:26I just need to do something
28:28Wait one second
28:30What are you doing?
28:31Nothing
28:31What are you doing?
28:32Nothing
28:32What are you doing?
28:33Nothing
28:33Oh, no!
28:35Here it comes
28:37What are you doing?
28:38What are you doing?
28:39Nothing
28:40That's just rude
28:41You're really pushing me today, Alex
28:42You know this
28:43You just put paint in me hat
28:46Yes
28:47Aw
28:49That's what you're doing
28:51Oh, all right
28:54Thanks, Molly
28:55You haven't made me
28:57Wow
28:59Yeah
29:04Strike the bullseye with your paint
29:05The bullseye must be round there, then
29:07OK
29:08You must only step on the stepping stones
29:11and you must step on all the stepping stones
29:13Wait, what?
29:15No
29:15Oh, Jesus
29:17Also, your hands must be below your waist at all times
29:21Fastest wins
29:22Your time starts now
29:25APPLAUSE
29:29Interesting reaction from Dara after he'd spilled a little paint down his front
29:33when he was trying to get his head round the task
29:35Oh, do you want to hear it?
29:36Yeah
29:37Yeah, wait, what?
29:38No
29:41Good, let's go
29:42Yeah, you've got to hit the target with your paint
29:45You can only step on the stepping stones
29:46You must step on all the stepping stones
29:47Hands below the waist
29:48Off we go
29:48First up, it's mun and fun
29:51Mun, you're in firm
29:53Your time starts now
29:56OK, Alex, can you talk whilst I walk, yeah?
29:58I think so
30:06What the hell?
30:07Yes
30:08OK, I need to go back
30:10I need to get some more
30:13You put paint on the flag
30:31Is there a paint in my hair?
30:33Would you like a shower cap?
30:34Yeah
30:34Yeah
30:35Yeah
30:40I'm in
30:44This is something I learnt
30:46From being a shock girl at uni
30:59I've done it
31:00Yeah, stop the clock
31:02I don't think of the other people I'm competing against often enough
31:06So I'm thinking of them now
31:07Trying to think how I hate them
31:12Be careful on this bit
31:13Oops
31:14Did you see that?
31:15No
31:18Fuck's sake
31:22Yeah, it needs a bit further than that
31:27You're nearly there
31:47I think the contrast between the two approaches you couldn't possibly see
31:52No, I was trying very hard during that one
31:55But I'm not like Munya leaping about and stuff
31:58No, I wrote down Munya is an unnecessary action hero
32:03He was like, his action hero moves when he could just step over to something
32:09When I was at uni, I used to be an American football team
32:12And our motto was speed and violence
32:14So basically what that means is everything you do in life, speed and violence
32:19What about, like, knitting?
32:23Speed and violence
32:23I have a motto
32:26Oh, yeah
32:26It's in Latin
32:27It is
32:28Waitus, what?
32:36I mean, Munya was breathtaking to watch
32:37There was a tiny little speck of paint in the bullseye
32:39He did it in one minute thirty
32:40It was unbelievably quick
32:42Now
32:42But I thought that Fern was breathtaking to watch as well
32:44Yes, yes
32:46What is she doing?
32:47Five and a half minutes
32:49Come on, let's crack up
32:50All right, well, there's two more people now
32:52And I've fudged their names together
32:53To make Sarah Millikerns
32:55Sarah and John
32:57So hand below your waist
32:59Can I not do the balance?
33:01Yeah, that's perfect
33:01That's a bit unfair
33:04Did you want to check the task?
33:05Yeah
33:06Well, you can only step on stepping stones
33:09Well, you can only step on stepping stones
33:21No, you're kidding me
33:23Oh, meu Deus!
33:26Sim, eu me engano, eu me engano.
33:35Opa, ok.
33:41Eu me engano, eu tenho ido de lá para lá.
33:44Eu me engano, eu tenho ido de lá para lá.
33:48Tudo bem.
33:49Ah, você está reversando.
33:53Right, você já tem que ter a stretch, não é?
34:01Ah, bem-vindo, Jove.
34:03Sim.
34:03Como é o meu cabelo?
34:05Oh, eu tenho peixe!
34:09Você está indo.
34:10Ah!
34:10Tchau, tchau!
34:52A CIDADE NO BRASIL
35:12A CIDADE NO BRASIL
35:13Is there one in the bullseye? Yeah. Yeah.
35:15Well...
35:22The contrast with John was sensational.
35:25It's literally like watching an alien pretend to be human.
35:32Significantly worse than Fern? Yes.
35:34Eight minutes and three seconds.
35:35Eight minutes?!
35:37Eight minutes and three seconds, yes.
35:38Oh, my Christ, what was I doing?
35:43Fern's now looking pretty good,
35:44especially because we can see a picture of Sarah's hands,
35:47just slightly above her waist.
35:49Oh, yeah.
35:51Yeah, yeah, sorry, just a little bit...
35:52It's a very high-waisted travel.
35:56And sadly, I do have to show you this photo as well, Greg, this one here.
36:00Yeah.
36:03I do have to show you one other thing as well, which is this.
36:06Oh, no.
36:07Step on all the stepping stones.
36:09Yeah.
36:12Gotta speed this up.
36:16Shall I go in here?
36:17All the information's on the task, won't you?
36:20You must step on all the stepping stones.
36:22You're labouring that a bit.
36:24Yeah.
36:24You put paint on the flag?
36:25Yeah, OK.
36:27I need this.
36:31Right, OK.
36:32Right, we're back in this.
36:33We're back in.
36:39They're dropping like flies!
36:42I tried to warn them, I tried to help.
36:44Just sounded like you were being really monotonous.
36:46They just sort of tuned you out.
36:48Sorry, Alex.
36:50All of them, please.
36:50All of them, please.
36:51It's like a bored bloke operating a funfair ride.
36:56Thankfully, there is still one ray of hope.
36:58It's Dara O'Brien!
37:00There you go.
37:01Only stepping stones.
37:12OK.
37:18Lovely.
37:34Wait, what?
37:35Jesus!
37:39All right.
37:40That should be enough for now.
37:42Yeah.
37:44All right.
38:04All right.
38:06Oh!
38:07Bullseye!
38:08Let's stop the drug.
38:18That's got to make up for some of the other things in this episode, isn't it?
38:22Wait, what?
38:25White water side.
38:27Exemplary work.
38:29How are you feeling now, though?
38:31There's this faint chink of light.
38:34I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop.
38:35I'm waiting for you to go,
38:36but then...
38:38Come on.
38:38Stop waiting for the shoe to drop.
38:40LAUGHTER
38:41No, it was great.
38:43Do you want to see the best bits?
38:44Because it was so graceful.
38:45Oh, yeah, that would be nice, though.
38:47Here's Dara's best bits.
38:49OK.
38:49Yeah.
38:49How much pink do I have now?
38:55Two.
38:57LAUGHTER
39:05That seems a little harsh.
39:07I think it's awful, Dara.
39:08It's an awful way to end, but...
39:10That's Taskmaster.
39:12It would have been quick.
39:13Four minutes, 45.
39:14Oh, it was quick as well.
39:16Yeah.
39:16Not as quick as money, of course.
39:17One minute, 30, but...
39:18Nobody completed the task.
39:20So nobody gets a point.
39:22LAUGHTER
39:23Is there any point in looking at the scores after that?
39:26Probably not, but let's do it anyway.
39:27She's in the lead with 15 points.
39:29It's Sarah Millican!
39:34OK, everyone.
39:35Before you head up to the stage,
39:37Alex has a very important question for you.
39:39Yes, I do.
39:40I'll start with you, Dara.
39:42Inches or feet?
39:46Inches.
39:46Fern, inches or feet?
39:49Feet.
39:51John?
39:52Feet.
39:53Monja?
39:54Feet.
39:54And then, finally, Sarah Millican?
39:56Inches.
39:57Thank you.
39:58Curiouser and curiouser.
40:00Good.
40:01Please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
40:04APPLAUSE
40:12They got what they wanted.
40:17I don't know what's more heartbreaking, short or long.
40:21Who's going to read the task, Alex?
40:23John is going to read the task.
40:24Like that.
40:30LAUGHTER
40:32APPLAUSE
40:37Paint a picture of a unicorn using your head brush.
40:41LAUGHTER
40:42You may not handle your head brush at any point.
40:47You have two minutes.
40:48That's it.
40:49Paint a picture of a unicorn.
40:50Would you like them to paint a specific unicorn?
40:53I'd like him to be prancing.
40:54You have two minutes.
40:55OK.
40:55Stopping!
40:57CHEERING
41:22Abertura
41:28Abertura
41:30Okay, please step back on your surface
41:34Show me them prancers. You start with Dara Breen. The short brush has got to be an advantage, surely
41:41Is it done? Oh
41:49That is one jaunty prancer
41:54Hello, Fern
42:03Which entrance?
42:05Well, it's got a horn coming out with some green and different colours in there
42:10What I see is two fences, a big orange, and a pepper
42:16Hi, hi
42:17Do I regret this?
42:18Yeah, of course
42:24You know where the horn is, though, at least
42:27I don't know where the big red line is. It's next to the four green lines
42:35Not bad. Not bad
42:38Not bad
42:40It looks like a long-legged lobster
42:46But at least it looks like a creature
42:47And finally, hello, Sarah
42:49Hi
42:49Oh
42:51Oh
42:53Oh
43:18Lovely
43:19He's done a series of lines
43:20One point to John
43:22One point to John
43:22I'm giving two points to a woman who's drawn two fences, a pepper and an orange
43:25Tom Brady
43:26I'm giving three points to the long-legged lobster
43:29Congratulations, Manya
43:30I'm giving four points to the majestic horse of Troy
43:32Being as it is standing in twilight, waiting
43:36But there's only one unicorn prancing in that row
43:40Bam
43:41Dara Drian takes the five points
43:43Well done Dara
43:46Thank you
43:47Thank you
43:48Thank you
43:48Thank you
43:48Coming down, let's see how that's the front of the party scores
43:57Thank you
43:57Well, well, well
43:58Exactly
43:59Yeah
44:00Yeah
44:00Yeah
44:00I think we've learnt a lot there
44:01Oh, God, we have
44:02Much easier to have a six-inch paintbrush than a six-foot paintbrush
44:06Strap to your head
44:07Yeah
44:07Yeah
44:07And I guess that's why that's what size they normally are
44:12Well, it has been a...
44:14Oh, a one-unicorn race
44:15With 19 points
44:16The winner is Sarah Millican
44:17Yes
44:20Sarah Williams
44:21Please pop up to pocket your pants
44:26Bye, everyone
44:27Before we go
44:28Please cheer one more time for today's winner
44:30Sarah Millican
44:37Thank you
45:06Bye
45:06Bye
Comentários