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00:01The odd-looking boxes were delivered to the home of Bob Hunter and Lee McDermott early on a Tuesday morning.
00:08It wasn't long before workmen had opened them and begun assembling the various parts and pieces.
00:15Happily, it only took three hours to turn the contents into a finished work of art.
00:23Sadly, it only took fifteen minutes for the residence of Wisteria Lane.
00:29What the hell is it?
00:30To become art critics.
00:33I think it's a sculpture.
00:35I think it's crap.
00:36Of all the gay men in the world, we have to get the two without taste.
00:39What are we gonna do about this?
00:41I say we keep smiling and look for the hidden cameras.
00:43I think we're about to get punked.
00:45I don't think there's anything we can do.
00:46It's not our lawn.
00:47It's our neighborhood.
00:48We have rules against this sort of thing.
00:50Or at least we did when I used to live here.
00:52Who's running the homeowners association?
00:54Well, it was Mary Alice, but as you may have heard.
00:56Yes, very tragic.
00:58So we haven't had a president in four years?
00:59No one would volunteer.
01:00It's a pain in the ass job.
01:02I don't volunteer.
01:03We can hold an election in the next couple of days.
01:05I can get rid of this tin foil atrocity by the weekend.
01:08Okay, before we become an ugly mob, why doesn't one of us go talk to the guys?
01:11But not me.
01:12They hate me.
01:14Bree, you talk to them.
01:15You can relate to them.
01:16Why would you say that?
01:17You got a kid who came flying out of the closet and a husband who's been looking for the doorknob.
01:24Why, you've met him.
01:25Oh, they're coming.
01:30Morning, ladies.
01:32Good morning.
01:33We were just talking about your sculpture.
01:35That's what I love about art, the way it provokes discussion.
01:38Although it would have been nice if you had discussed it with us.
01:41But you don't like it?
01:43Well, we're not saying that.
01:45It's just a little...
01:48It's an eyesore.
01:49Really?
01:50Mm-hmm.
01:51You hear that, Bob?
01:52We flew to Finland and paid $24,000 to commission an eyesore.
01:55I don't mind it.
01:57Not to brag, but I went to art school.
01:58Community college.
02:00And they taught us that art is subjective.
02:04Thank you, Susan.
02:06Susan's need for approval aside, this clearly is not appropriate for the street.
02:10Art.
02:10Wisteria Lane has a traditional look.
02:13Well, maybe you'd like it better if we covered it with a gingham throw.
02:18Ladies.
02:20I'm sorry.
02:20We honestly thought that people would like it.
02:23But even if you disapprove, we hope that you will respect our right to decorate as we see fit.
02:32Have a nice day, Philistines.
02:34Yes.
02:36Art came to Wisteria Lane on a Tuesday morning.
02:39And by Tuesday afternoon...
02:41I think it's time to reconvene the homeowners association.
02:44All in favor?
02:46Aye.
02:48War had come as well.
02:52As word of the sculpture spread, Bob and Lee began to wonder if any of their neighbors would be supportive.
03:00But when the sculpture's true function was unveiled the next day, whatever support they did have...
03:10was quickly washed away.
03:12Come on.
03:14It's 6am.
03:15What is this?
03:16I don't know, but make it stop.
03:24Oh, my God.
03:33Wow!
03:34It's a fountain, too!
03:36We wouldn't have mentioned that yesterday, but your friends were a little uptight.
03:39Yeah, they could see it like that.
03:41So do you think that you could just turn it off for a second?
03:49What's up?
03:50I was just wondering, um, do you think you could move it to your backyard?
03:57Why, I thought you liked it.
03:58Remember, you said art is subjective.
04:00Yes!
04:02Quiet art is subjective.
04:03But you see, Mike is working really long hours lately, and he can't sleep with all that noise.
04:08We're not going to turn it off, because we need it to drown out all the stuff we hear coming
04:11from your house.
04:12Like what?
04:13Let's see, you yakking to your mom on the phone, you grunting through your Pilates DVDs,
04:17you in the shower butchering the score to Brigadoon.
04:19I have a lovely voice.
04:21Whoever told you that is not your friend.
04:25He's a little cranky.
04:26I think someone eats his french toast.
04:28Come on, Leigh.
04:30No, no, no, no. No, no, we're not done here.
04:32As your neighbor, I have a right to be heard, and I say that simple human decency dictates that you
04:36turn off that fountain right now!
04:43Hey, guys.
04:45Hey, guys, I got your snack.
04:47What's your plan?
04:48Action figures.
04:49Wanna play, Mom?
04:50She does awesome alien voices.
04:54Thanks, sweetheart.
04:59Hello.
05:01Oh, yeah. Hi, Dr. Schiller.
05:04Okay, that's my white blood count.
05:05Uh-huh, but as long as it's higher than 4.0, that means I don't have neutropenia, right?
05:10Well, that's great.
05:12Thanks for calling.
05:15Yeah, you too. Bye.
05:19What?
05:20You can't talk about doctors up here.
05:23Or about being sick.
05:24If you do, you have to go.
05:26That's the rule.
05:28Well, that's a good rule.
05:32Although it wasn't bad news, it was actually-
05:34Doesn't matter.
05:35We voted.
05:36It's a rule.
05:38Got it.
05:39Sick talk done.
05:41Okay?
05:42You guys have fun.
05:46Do over, Parker.
05:47That guy doesn't have freezing power.
05:49If his guy can fly, my guy can freeze.
05:53Hi, it's, uh, Mrs. Hodge.
05:54May I please speak with Danielle?
05:56Mmm, muffins.
05:58Hands off for bringing these to Danielle for her birthday.
06:00What do you mean she's gone?
06:03And you believed her?
06:05You idiot!
06:06I should sue your irresponsible ass off for this!
06:09Yeah? Well, good day to you, too.
06:12What happened?
06:13Those stupid nuns at the convent let Danielle's grandmother kidnap her.
06:16She claimed I'd given her permission for a weekend visit.
06:21Phyllis!
06:21It's me!
06:22You can screen your calls all you want to, but trust me, old woman, you are in a world of
06:26trouble.
06:27I know where you live, and I am coming for you.
06:29Should we be worried?
06:31No, I think we're ready for her.
06:33Show me again how you kill the zombies.
06:38Why can't I go? I play golf.
06:42And I'd love to meet your college buddies.
06:45Edie, me and the guys have only two rules for these weekends.
06:49No plaid pants, and no women.
06:51Fine, be that way.
06:54And to think, got you a gift.
07:01Hey, golf balls!
07:03They're monogrammed.
07:05Wait, these are your initials.
07:07Exactly.
07:08While you're out there playing, I want everyone to know who your balls belong to.
07:23Good work, boys, but I have to head out in a few minutes, so make sure you put all this
07:27stuff back in the garage.
07:30Hello?
07:30Hey, on my way.
07:32Meet you at the hotel, okay?
07:33I'm leaving in five minutes.
07:43Uh, Brett, could you come here a second?
07:48How long has that van been parked over there?
07:50A couple hours.
07:51Hours? Are you serious?
07:54Oh, my God.
07:55I think he's just waiting for someone to come home.
07:58Brett, when's the last time a cable guy waited for anyone?
08:02I see a lot of lawn mowing in your future.
08:05Hey, it's me again.
08:07I'm not gonna believe this.
08:08Before Victor left on his business trip, he hired someone to tail me.
08:11Oh, man, should we call this off?
08:13No way.
08:14It's gonna take more than a guy with mini binoculars and a bag of donuts to keep me under lock
08:17and key.
08:19I'll be there as soon as I can.
08:29I'll be there.
08:29Boys, time to get paid.
08:30Come on, Eddie.
08:32Come on, Eddie.
08:41Come on, Eddie.
08:47Come back here.
08:49Are you taking the bus home today?
08:56As soon as we get around the corner, we're gonna have to adjust this horn.
09:10Gabrielle.
09:12Hey.
09:14Hi.
09:16Look at you.
09:18What a surprise.
09:20This is Gabby.
09:22Tammy, this is Gabrielle.
09:24Wow.
09:25Look at you.
09:26Congratulations.
09:27Thanks.
09:28It wasn't planned.
09:31Okay.
09:32Okay.
09:32So, are you guys staying here?
09:35No.
09:36We just came for some lunch.
09:37Daddy owns this place.
09:39That's right.
09:40You're a hotel heiress.
09:41Yeah.
09:41But not one of the skinky ones.
09:43How do you two know each other?
09:46I used to be Gabrielle's gardener.
09:49Oh.
09:50Well, as you can see, he's certainly married up.
09:53Lawn boy.
09:54Tammy.
09:56Forget it.
09:57So, I heard you married the mayor.
10:00You're married to Victor Lang?
10:02He and Daddy go hunting together.
10:04I tell John if he would just be nicer to Daddy, he could hang out with people like the mayor
10:07and make important contacts.
10:09And I keep telling you that I don't need to kiss your father's ass to have a career.
10:14Uh, yeah.
10:15So, I married the mayor.
10:16Kooky, huh?
10:18So, um, is he here with you?
10:20Uh, no.
10:21He's away at a conference.
10:23So, I decided to treat myself to his spa weekend.
10:27Ooh.
10:28You should definitely get the full body massage.
10:31Oh, I plan to.
10:34Good to see you.
10:35You too, Gabby.
10:39Sorry about that.
10:40A complete shock. I mean, of all people to run into.
10:43Who were they?
10:47Just an old friend and his idiot wife.
10:50Come on, let's go.
10:54Marie.
10:55How lovely to see you.
10:57Cram it, Phyllis.
10:59You got a lot of nerves stealing Danielle from a convent we prepaid for?
11:02She didn't steal me.
11:04I'm a mature person, capable of making my own decisions.
11:06Well, good, you can decide to pack because we are taking you back to the convent.
11:10Mm-mm.
11:11I'm turning 18 this weekend so you can't boss me around anymore.
11:14I'm staying with Grandma and I'm gonna have my baby delivered here.
11:16We have an excellent medical staff.
11:19It's a retirement village.
11:20All these doctors know how to deliver is bad news.
11:22I don't care. I'm staying.
11:24And I'm gonna raise the baby here too.
11:26What?
11:27Entirely her idea.
11:28A baby is God's most precious gift.
11:31I will not have mine raised by a cold, emotionally unavailable woman like you.
11:35Emotionally unavailable. Gosh, I wonder where she picked up that little phrase.
11:40Like I'm too dumb to think of it myself?
11:42You're always mean to me, just like you were to Dad.
11:45You emasculated him.
11:47Well, you're not gonna emasculate me.
11:48You don't even know what that means, you petulant sock puppets.
11:53Who cares?
11:55I'm going to the store.
11:59Buy a dictionary!
12:02So that's all settled.
12:05Would you like some iced tea?
12:17You aren't joining the lynch mob?
12:18Uh, me and Catherine's homeowner's thingy.
12:21I think I'll sit this one out.
12:22No, no, no. You can't do that. You've got to pick a side.
12:25Art or mindless conformity.
12:28See, this is one of the upsides of having cancer.
12:30You get to excuse yourself from petty neighborhood squabbles.
12:33You won't think they're so petty when she comes after you.
12:36Me? Why would you do that?
12:39Does the homeowners association approve everything in your yard?
12:41The fence? That swing? The treehouse?
12:45I don't think Catherine will bother herself over a treehouse.
12:48First they came for the fountains.
12:50And I did not speak out because I had no fountain.
12:53What?
12:53Then they came for the lawn gnomes, and I did not speak out because I had no gnome.
12:57You're comparing Catherine to a Nazi?
12:59Then they came for my treehouse.
13:00And there was no one left to speak out for me.
13:07Thank you, ladies. I so appreciate your input.
13:09And I think we can all agree that the fountain has no place on our street.
13:14Yeah. We've got to show those gays we mean business.
13:19Ida, again the issue is not Bob and Lee being gay. It's the fountain.
13:24Well, can't it be both?
13:29Anyway, if you elect me president, my first act will be to eliminate this so-called work of art.
13:36Hear, hear.
13:38Yes, Lynette.
13:39After you get rid of this fountain, that's it, right?
13:42I don't follow.
13:43I mean, you're not gonna start checking everyone's yards for things that don't fit in?
13:49Of course not. As long as those things meet the association's guidelines.
13:54Uh-huh. And what if they don't?
13:57Are you referring to something in particular?
13:59My kid's treehouse. Can you promise you'll leave it alone?
14:02Well, it's not up to me. That's the whole point. There are rules.
14:07That sounds like a no.
14:08If I make an exception for you, then I have to make one for everyone.
14:12And surely you realize that the whole neighborhood can't revolve around your little treehouse.
14:17Now, since I am running unopposed, I just need someone to second my nomination.
14:24Oh, thank you, Lynette.
14:27No. Actually, I'm nominating myself. I am now running for president.
14:32Against you.
14:42You know, running for president in your condition? I don't think it's a good idea.
14:46Tom, I don't want your opinion. Just your vote.
14:48If you want to save the treehouse, why don't you let me run instead?
14:52Because you'd never win. Bossy women rule this street. You know that.
14:56No one rules my life.
14:58I'm sorry. I didn't catch that.
15:00Nothing.
15:01Look, this is not just about a treehouse or a fountain. This is about what kind of neighborhood we want
15:07to live in.
15:08Do we get to make our own choices or do we let the taste police make them for us?
15:11Ah, now I get it. This is about you wanting to take on Catherine.
15:15No. This is about personal freedom. Specifically, my personal freedom to take down that jackbooted house frow.
15:23Honey, if you're looking for something to fight, how about your cancer?
15:26Hey, a tumor is a tumor, whether it's in your body or living across the street.
15:35I don't know why you buy those things. They just end up on the floor.
15:38Because I want to feel pretty and feminine.
15:43Oh, my chili cheese fries.
15:45Just a second!
15:46Gabrielle? It's me, John.
15:50John?
15:50John who?
15:54Uh, okay. You know that old friend I ran into in the lobby? It might have been John Roland.
16:01Maybe. I'm not sure.
16:04Gabrielle?
16:04Just to be safe, you may want to hide in the closet.
16:07What? I'm not hiding from that guy.
16:09Really? Because his father-in-law goes hunting with Victor.
16:12You know, the guy who hired someone to tail us and possibly kill us.
16:24John! What are you doing here?
16:26When I ran into you last fall, you wanted to stir up our affair again and I wasn't ready.
16:30Well, I'm ready.
16:43Hey, listen, I promised Tom I wouldn't knock myself out campaigning for this homeowner's thing.
16:49So, I was hoping you could help me. You know, ring some bells, talk me up, that sort of thing.
16:55I would love to, but...
16:58But what?
17:00This is awkward.
17:02Uh, I told Catherine I'd vote for her.
17:04You're picking her over me?
17:05It's not like I'm pro-Catherine. I'm just anti-Fountain.
17:10Oh, don't give me that look. I made her a promise.
17:13Yes, but that was before your best friend threw her scarf in the ring.
17:20Okay. If I vote for you, do you promise to get rid of that fountain?
17:23See, that's awkward for me. This is about personal freedom, you know? I'm running as a libertarian.
17:28Well, I'm voting as a light sleeper.
17:30It's right outside our bedroom window. Seriously, Lynette, it's like living next to Splash Mountain.
17:34But it's my kids' treehouse. They really need it.
17:36Well, we need our sleep.
17:38Why don't you get earplugs?
17:39Why don't you get treehouse plugs?
17:42What? That doesn't even make sense.
17:44Yeah, I'm sorry. You know, tired people aren't witty.
17:50Seriously, John, you've got to get out of here.
17:52No, please. I need to be with you.
17:54What about your wife?
17:56You met her. She's dumb, demanding, totally self-centered, especially in bed.
18:00I mean, she's awful.
18:01Awfully pregnant.
18:02I know. I'm completely trapped. Just like you were with Mr. Solis.
18:08I wasn't trapped.
18:10What do you mean? All you'd ever talk about was what a selfish pig he was.
18:14Well, I think you're paraphrasing. Seriously, you have to go.
18:17Come on. You know it would be hard. Just like old times. Remember how great our sex was?
18:23Oh, I don't think we need to get into that.
18:25What about the time we were doing it in the shower?
18:29Mr. Solis drove up?
18:30Uh, does not ring a bell.
18:32Come on. And I hid in the closet.
18:33And you looked so hot. Mr. Solis pulled you down on the bed.
18:39And you had to fake an orgasm just so he wouldn't catch on.
18:43Yeah, good times. Anyways, uh, that's a negatory on the affair.
18:48What?
18:48And I will see you later.
18:50Come on, but we're so good together.
18:51Gavin!
18:58Boy, that was a close one, huh?
19:03You faked it with me while that wax job was hiding in the closet?
19:06Yes, I had an affair. Old news. Move on. Where's that room service?
19:11So you're not going to apologize for humiliating me in my own bed?
19:14You deserved it. All you cared about back then was work.
19:18Hey, I was not that bad of a husband. And somebody had to support your Italian shoe addiction.
19:22I shopped because I was bored and lonely. Same reason I had an affair.
19:26Yeah, with our teenage gardener. I should have snapped that kid's neck two years ago.
19:29Oh, let it go. John Roland didn't do anything to you that you're not doing to Victor.
19:34You can't even compare the two. It's completely different.
19:37Is it, Mr. Man in the Closet?
19:41Yeah, you heard me. Who's John Roland now?
19:53Catherine, what are you up to?
19:55Just visiting a friend.
19:56Liar.
19:57You're campaigning. Cookies. Nice touch.
20:01I don't want a scarf.
20:07Edie, you got a moment?
20:09I am running for president of the Homeowners Association and I want to talk to you about that horrible fountain.
20:15Screw the fountain. You want my support?
20:17Make Ida Greenberg ditch that screen door.
20:19That rusty old tetanus bucket.
20:22Looks fine to me. It's hardly ripped at all.
20:24In fact, if you give me your support...
20:26I'll make Mrs. Paquette prune those roses.
20:28It's a garden, not a jungle.
20:30And you shouldn't have to.
20:31Pay for a fence you don't even want?
20:33That's not how you make good neighbors.
20:35And I don't care if...
20:36The Mastathas don't celebrate Christmas.
20:38You're asking them to hang a few lights?
20:39Not convert.
20:41When I'm president, I promise.
20:43You can keep that satellite dish.
20:44In fact, this is practically a First Amendment issue.
20:47The way I see it, the entire neighborhood should be a testament to symmetry and beauty.
20:53So...
20:53Have I got your vote?
20:55I'm not sure yet.
20:57Keep rubbing.
21:09Brie, I know you're upset, but you've got to eat.
21:12I'm just so mad at myself.
21:14I should have realized that the maternal instinct is so strong that even Danielle would develop it.
21:23What's so funny?
21:25You know those animals who eat their young?
21:27Even they have more maternal instinct than Danielle.
21:29Then why would she want the child?
21:31You've known her how long and you've still haven't figured out how that lintel she calls a brain works?
21:35There's no need to insult your sister.
21:37Let him talk.
21:37Alright.
21:38Danielle cares about three things.
21:41Danielle.
21:42Fun.
21:43And, uh...
21:45Wait, that was wrong. It's just two.
21:47And a retirement village is fun?
21:50Compared to what you're offering her.
21:51A crappy job and community college.
21:54You think grandma's gonna make her do any of that?
21:56So Danielle's only doing this because Phyllis is offering her a cushy life?
21:59Yep.
22:00If you want that baby, you're gonna have to outbid grandma.
22:14What are you doing here?
22:16Hi.
22:17John.
22:18I wanted to talk to you.
22:20It'll be very friendly.
22:22No hitting.
22:29What's up?
22:30This is gonna sound weird, but I've been doing some thinking lately.
22:34And, well...
22:37I've decided to do something.
22:37I've decided that it's time for me to forgive you.
22:42For sleeping with my wife.
22:46You know, I didn't just sleep with Gabby.
22:49I fell in love with her.
22:53I forgive you for that too.
22:57Why are you doing this?
23:00Are you in some kind of 12-step program?
23:04Let's just say I've recently learned how loving someone makes you forget the difference between right and wrong.
23:14Anyway, that's pretty much it. I should go.
23:17Hey.
23:20You still talk to Gabrielle?
23:22Occasionally.
23:23Why?
23:25I just wanted to know if she was happy.
23:29I think she is.
23:34Well...
23:35Good for her.
23:44Alright, before we vote, are there any more questions for the candidates?
23:49Anybody besides Lee?
23:50It's not a question.
23:51I just want to remind everyone that a vote for Catherine is a vote for fascism.
23:56What is it with you gay people and clothes?
24:00Fascism, Ida. Not fashion.
24:02Though, if you ever do want to talk fashion, we're here for you.
24:07Alright, debate's over. Let's kick this pig.
24:10All in favor of Lynette?
24:18Okay, and those for Catherine?
24:28That's 14 for Lynette and 14 for Catherine.
24:30So, what do we do? It's a tie.
24:33Ah! No, it's not.
24:35Susan voted twice.
24:40Did I?
24:41Well, that's obviously wrong.
24:44You only get one vote, sweet cheeks. Who's it gonna be?
25:00This is it. We're waiting.
25:02It's up to you, hon.
25:08Catherine.
25:11Okay, it's official. Catherine is our new president.
25:17Thank you. Thank you, everyone.
25:19And I promise to do my best for this neighborhood.
25:22And Bob, Lee, Mr. Mustafa, I'll be in touch regarding your various infractions.
25:26Oh! And you too, Lynette.
25:32Meeting adjourned.
25:53You know, Phyllis, we cannot thank you enough for accepting our apology.
25:58Well, I think we should try to stay on good terms for...
26:01Danielle's sake.
26:03I'm glad you suggested that we eat out here. I never think to do this.
26:09Oh, darn. I forgot the napkins.
26:11No problem.
26:12I'll go get some.
26:16So, now that we have a moment alone, your mother and I would like to say how proud we are
26:21of you.
26:22Yeah, right.
26:23Seriously. We hadn't realized you'd matured enough to take on the burden of motherhood all by yourself.
26:28Well, Grandma's gonna help.
26:31Well, she'll do what she can, but you mustn't overtax her.
26:33Her heart is not very strong.
26:36She seems fine to me.
26:38You'll knock wood. We'd hate to see you forced to take care of a baby and a sick old woman.
26:44Whoa! Mahjong, don't see that much anymore.
26:49Hey.
26:53Danielle, you should introduce yourself. These people are your new friends.
26:56Mm. And you're going to learn more from their experience and wisdom than you ever could have learned at that
27:01college in Florida.
27:02Wait. I thought I couldn't go there. You said it was just a party school.
27:05Well, actually, we checked into the curriculum and it's very strong, but no matter, you'll be happier here.
27:10Yes, and with a grandmother's unconditional love, who needs frat boys who only like you for your convertible?
27:15Whoa. When did I get a convertible?
27:17Well, we were gonna surprise you with one for your birthday, but since you're keeping the baby, you'll want a
27:22more practical gift.
27:23We're thinking a diaper service.
27:25Oh, look. They have water aerobics.
27:32You should sign up.
27:37You know, maybe I should go to college.
27:40I mean, for the baby's sake. How can I support it without a degree?
27:43But you can't raise this child in a Miami dorm room.
27:48You'll need to leave it with someone you can trust to take care of it properly.
27:55Sorry. The elevator's out.
28:00I have to catch my breath.
28:08Grandma? We need to talk.
28:21What's this?
28:22I thought we might toast my victory.
28:24Kind of in the middle of something here.
28:27Oh.
28:29So, you haven't congratulated me yet.
28:33I know.
28:36Would you like to tell me what's bothering you?
28:38I just want you to think about what you've been doing for the past few days.
28:43You've mounted a crusade against a metal thing that shoots out water.
28:45I'm trying to keep the neighborhood beautiful. I love this street.
28:49Yeah, you keep saying that. How happy you used to be here.
28:52But ever since we've moved back, all I've seen is an unhappy woman who needs to control everything.
28:59Well, we've both learned what happens when you lose control.
29:04Ah. Chicago again.
29:06Tell you something else we learned there.
29:08When the chips are down, it helps to have friends.
29:11And you certainly haven't made us any lately.
29:16Congratulations.
29:25Bye, Grandma.
29:26Goodbye, dear.
29:29Tell your stepfather I'll be right out.
29:36Oh, please, Phyllis.
29:38Even you have to agree that a girl who'd trade her baby for a convertible isn't ready for motherhood.
29:43She'd have changed once the baby came.
29:46She's her father's daughter.
29:52That's a nice picture of Rex.
29:55I have a lot of pictures.
29:57All of the women here do.
30:01They're what we have left of the things time has taken from us.
30:09Youth, homes, and husbands.
30:12And for the unluckiest children.
30:17I thought I was getting back a part of Rex.
30:21But now...
30:25I know you're lonely, Phyllis.
30:27But I can't give up this child just to make you feel better.
30:30You should go.
30:32Your family is waiting for you.
30:42Orson and I go to our club almost every Saturday night if you're interested in babysitting.
30:50You mean it?
30:53How will you explain me to your friends?
30:56I'll say that you're broke and needed the money.
30:58Can't you just say that you like having me around?
31:03I need something that will fly, Phyllis.
31:16Hey! What's going on?
31:18We need to talk.
31:21So here's the deal.
31:24I think it's time for us to do the right thing.
31:26I don't think I like where this is going.
31:28We have to end this affair.
31:30You serious?
31:31All this sneaking around, wearing disguises, hiding in closets.
31:36Is this wrong?
31:38We're better than this.
31:39So what are you suggesting? We stay with Victor and Edie?
31:42No, we break up with them.
31:44Look, it'll hurt, but at least it's honest.
31:47And then when enough time has gone by and they've moved on, we can be together.
31:51How long are we talking about?
31:53I don't know, six months?
31:55Six months? Nobody takes that long to heal anymore.
31:58It's a breakup, not a facelift.
32:00Look, I want us to be together too, but I also want to feel good about it.
32:05Don't you?
32:09Yeah, I do.
32:13You're such a good guy, Carlos.
32:15I really hate that about you.
32:18I know.
32:21So...
32:23I guess this is it.
32:27This kiss has to last six months.
32:30You better make it good.
32:55Hey, Lynette.
32:57Hey, Judas.
32:59Okay, fine. You're still angry, but I'm going to make it up to you.
33:01When they come after that tree house, they're going to find one Susan Meyer chained to it.
33:06Don't do that. I want to be sad when they knock it down.
33:09Lynette?
33:10What?
33:10You think you can just walk over here and cute your way out of what you did? We're supposed to
33:14be friends.
33:15Exactly. And friends don't put friends in this kind of position.
33:18I love you, but you can't ask me to put your kids ahead of my husband.
33:25You're right. I shouldn't have done that.
33:29But that tree house is the one place my kids can go and not hear about body scans and white
33:35blood cell counts.
33:37It is their getaway from this horrible thing that I brought into the house.
33:43Brought? Sweetie, it's not your fault that you're sick.
33:46I know that. Here. But here? It feels like I've ruined their childhood.
33:55Okay, if anybody needs me, I'll be at the hardware store buying chains.
33:59Jeez, get over here.
34:01Hello there.
34:04Oh, look, it's our new queen, Catherine of arrogance.
34:08Hey, where's the wrecking ball?
34:10Actually, I came to tell you the tree house can stay.
34:12Oh, my God, that's great.
34:14Yes. If anyone complains, we'll say it was grandfathered in under the previous administration.
34:22Wow. Thanks.
34:23Why?
34:25Clearly, it means a lot to you, and I want to be a good neighbor.
34:33Catherine, what's with you?
34:34Sometimes you act like an ice queen, then you do something really nice.
34:38You are one complicated lady.
34:41Oh.
34:43I've had one complicated life.
34:50I've had a lot of men in my life, but I never let myself fall in love before.
34:56I thought it was because I didn't want to get hurt, but now I know the pain you feel isn't
35:03the worst part.
35:05It's the hate.
35:09Could you make it up to Cass?
35:11No.
35:25Hello, Catherine.
35:26Hear about the fountain?
35:27Yes, but don't worry. There's no strict deadline. You can have it removed at your earliest convenience.
35:34Yeah, I don't think it's going anywhere.
35:37Oh, boys, boys. The war's over.
35:42Yes, it is. We know all about Chicago.
35:46Come again?
35:47My ex is on the board of Chicago Memorial Hospital.
35:50Seems your husband made quite a stir there. The whole hospital's still buzzing about what he did.
35:54Whatever you heard is a vicious lie. Every word of it.
36:01Still, it was enough to make you leave town.
36:05Which begs the question, do you like living here?
36:12Oh, good. We're in agreement. The fountain stays.
36:17Thanks for stopping by, Catherine.
36:22It's the same for all of us.
36:28We try not to get too close to the people who live next door.
36:34It's easier to give them a polite nod than to ask what's wrong.
36:40It's safer to keep walking by than to get involved.
36:46True, we sometimes do get to know the people we share a fence with and end up lifelong friends.
36:56But mostly, we keep our distance. Because we'd rather our neighbors know nothing about us.
37:08Than know too much.