- 2 days ago
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00:02Here's where I used to live. A whole lot nicer, don't you think?
00:07The place hasn't changed much since I left. As tasteful and tidy as ever.
00:12Everything perfect. At least, on the surface. My family was the same way.
00:18Look at us. You'd never guess how ticked off we all were the day this was taken.
00:22But that was the thing about us FandyCamps. To really fit in, you had to have a smile that gave
00:28away nothing.
00:32Like my son Andrew. To look at him, you'd never know he spent six months on the streets, supporting himself
00:37with hand-handling and light prostitution.
00:40Or my daughter, Danielle. Does she look like the kind of girl who'd seduce her middle-aged history teacher?
00:46I mean, they're my kids, and I love them. But I'm pretty darn relieved to be dead.
00:52Here's the clown Bree replaced me with. Orson.
00:57I don't mind saying he's creeped me out right from the get-go.
01:04To me, he always has the shifty look of a guy who knows where the bodies are buried.
01:09And he should know. He buried them.
01:13But Bree thinks he's Sir Galahad. The kids like him.
01:19And all my friends, now his friends.
01:23So it pleases me to know that at least one of my old neighbors sees right through the guy.
01:29Mike, you just missed Bree. She's off to see your folks. And we're finally taking our honeymoon.
01:36Not a bad time for you to leave town, is it?
01:39Well, I don't follow you.
01:41I just keep thinking about that night at Monique's place.
01:44How you made sure I left with my wrench. The one with her blood on it.
01:48Well, it was your wrench.
01:51Why are you rehashing this? My ex-wife confessed in her suicide note the case is closed.
01:56Maybe it shouldn't be.
01:59What do you think the police would say if they knew you were there that night?
02:03What do you think they'd say if they knew you threw me off a roof?
02:09Oh, Mike. We could make so much trouble for each other.
02:13Or we can forget what we think we know and be good neighbors.
02:19Your call.
02:23No. Orson Hodge isn't exactly the guy I'd have picked to head my family.
02:27But I'll give him one thing.
02:31He's got the smile down cold.
02:36Take a drive down any street in suburbia.
02:39And what you're gonna see?
02:41Desperate women.
02:43That's right.
02:44One unhappy housewife after another.
02:48Each completely miserable.
02:51In her own unique way.
02:54But I don't want to talk about them.
02:57No.
02:58I want to talk about their men.
03:00And what happens to a guy when that special lady in his life starts to lose it?
03:06Like my friend Carlos.
03:08He used to have it all.
03:10Hot wife.
03:11Tons of dough.
03:12Ben.
03:12Bam.
03:14She gets a divorce and he gets stuck with the bill.
03:17But does he sit around and complain like your average housefrau?
03:20No, sir.
03:22He finds creative ways to get what you can out of life.
03:30Hey, bro.
03:31Where are you off to?
03:32Oh, the hospital called.
03:33They found the stuff I had on me the night of the accident.
03:34Wow.
03:36Coma.
03:36Murder rap.
03:37You've had a tough year, buddy.
03:38You know what you need?
03:39Some pampering.
03:41Tomorrow you're checking into a nice hotel.
03:42Room service.
03:43Jacuzzi.
03:44My treat.
03:45You're trying to get me out of the house.
03:47Mike, why would I?
03:48Okay, there's this girl.
03:49I knew it.
03:51Dude, she's a dancer.
03:52And if her online profile is any indication, she's a complete freak.
03:56We're talking serious daddy issues.
03:57Look, I'll stay in my room.
03:58You'll never hear me.
03:59Yeah, but you'll hear me.
04:01I'm kind of exuberant by nature.
04:03And when I haven't had it in a while, I kind of do the shrieking thing.
04:05Oh, okay.
04:06All right.
04:06I'll go.
04:07Just stop talking.
04:08Thanks, pal.
04:09I wouldn't want it to put a weird spin on our friendship.
04:11Too late.
04:14This is my friend Tom.
04:16Have you heard what he's been up to lately?
04:20The silly bastard opened up his own pizza place.
04:22He thought that if he was his own boss, he could sleep in as late as he wanted.
04:28But the problem with that logic is that married guys...
04:31Hey, it's after nine.
04:32Come on, Thomasina, it's time to get up.
04:35...are never their own boss.
04:37Are you as tired as I am?
04:39More, but I'm tougher and I complain less.
04:43Not when you give birth.
04:44You do that a lot.
04:45Yeah?
04:46Ow.
04:47Before I forget, you got a call from Shea New confirming your reservation for our anniversary.
04:53You heard that?
04:54I wanted that to be a surprise.
04:55Well, we've been going there for the last seven years.
04:58It's not exactly a surprise.
05:00Anyway, I hope you don't mind.
05:02But I canceled.
05:06Canceled?
05:07Why?
05:07Honestly, I just don't feel up to going out this year.
05:11But it's our anniversary.
05:12It's our ninth anniversary.
05:13Come on, the big nine.
05:14That's a year longer than my mom said we would be married.
05:18Come on, we gotta party down.
05:21I'm exhausted.
05:23Honestly.
05:24All I want to do is pawn the kids off on somebody else, take a long bath and be in
05:29bed by eight.
05:31Okay.
05:33Thank you, thank you.
05:37Hold it.
05:40What about my sex?
05:41I always get sex on our anniversary.
05:43We can still have sex, just try not to wake me.
05:50This is Ian.
05:52Don't really know the guy, but Susan Meyer seems to like him.
05:57The other night, he surprised her with a proposal.
05:59She said yes, but he's still a little skittish about the competition.
06:05But Ian knows that if love is war...
06:08Hey, where were you off to so early this morning?
06:10...sometimes you gotta bring out the big artillery.
06:16I should have had it when I proposed.
06:17It's not very good form, I know.
06:20Ian, oh, you can't be serious.
06:23Oh, that's just too much.
06:25It's huge.
06:26Well, we could go smaller.
06:27Oh, no, no one's saying smaller.
06:29No, that's crazy talk.
06:34Rock me.
06:38Oh, oh, my God.
06:40Oh, it's so beautiful.
06:42Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay, nobody move.
06:49I got it.
06:50I knew I should have measured your finger.
06:51No, it's okay, I can get it resized.
06:54You should go to the jeweler's right now.
06:55And when you get back, we can go and look at some places for the reception.
06:58Reception?
06:59Yes, I was hoping we could pull this together for next month.
07:01What's the rush? Am I pregnant?
07:03Of course not. I just, well, I just can't wait to be married to you.
07:07Are you sure?
07:08You seem a little anxious.
07:10Yeah.
07:10What would I have to be anxious about?
07:17Again, sorry for the mix-up. If you could just sign right here.
07:20I don't remember this.
07:22You sure that's mine?
07:23It was on you the night you were admitted.
07:25I got hit by a car.
07:26I don't remember anything about that night.
07:28Well, it looks like you were going to propose to someone.
07:33Susan, be mine forever Mike.
07:38Does that ring a bell?
07:44Sure does.
07:49Hey, Carlos.
07:52Hi.
07:53I have a little visitor that I thought you might get a kick out of seeing.
07:56Remember my little boy?
07:59Hey, drivers.
08:00How you doing? Put it there.
08:02I'm Carlos Solis.
08:03I think you came by my house one time trick-or-treating.
08:05I remember.
08:06You gave me a protein bar.
08:08Right.
08:10Sorry.
08:11My wife forgot to buy candy.
08:13Hey!
08:14Is that football I hear?
08:15Go on, check it out.
08:18I didn't know your son was coming for a visit.
08:20Neither did I.
08:21I am.
08:26His father just dumped him here for four weeks.
08:28So he could jet off with his Doctors Without Borders buddies and fix cleft pallets in Kenya.
08:34Son of a bitch.
08:35Come on, I mean you barely even see him.
08:37It'll be fun.
08:37She has to bond?
08:39Yeah, that's true.
08:39But, um, I have this major party tonight.
08:44And I was wondering if maybe you could just keep an eye on him for a few hours.
08:48Sorry, I can't deny.
08:49Oh, come on.
08:50You love kids.
08:51Didn't you rent that Chinese chick so that you could have one of your own?
08:54I have a date too.
08:55With the chick so hot, I had to turn off the smoke alarms in my house.
08:59Fine.
09:00Travers, come on. Let's go.
09:04This isn't a child-friendly house.
09:06This isn't a child-friendly house.
09:10Bye, Travers.
09:22Wow, she's a locker.
09:23I'll say.
09:26Hey, what time's that fundraiser?
09:28You got an hour?
09:31Well, let's have a little fun.
09:45Look what you did!
09:46You didn't yell at me. I'm just a passenger.
09:48Well, your driver's an idiot.
09:50Hey, it's not Clyde's fault.
09:51I mean, what man wouldn't be distracted by such beauty?
09:54Now you're hitting on me?
09:57I was talking about the car.
09:59Well, good.
10:00I'm glad you like it because you're going to pay to fix this.
10:02Of course.
10:03Five thousand covered?
10:05Five.
10:08Well, sure, I guess.
10:09I'd rather not file an insurance claim.
10:11My opponent could find out and try to make me look bad.
10:14Opponent?
10:14Oh, well, I guess you don't read the papers.
10:16I'm running for mayor.
10:17My name's Victor Lang.
10:18And I hope I can count on your vote.
10:21I think I'd rather vote for the other guy.
10:23You know, the one who didn't wreck my car.
10:31You were off your game.
10:33You didn't even get her phone number.
10:34Oh, don't worry.
10:35I'll be seeing her again.
10:36How can you be so sure?
10:38I didn't sign the check.
10:51What the hell are you doing?
10:52We need to talk.
10:53No, we don't. Get out.
10:54Please, you won't return my call.
10:55Well, I've been busy.
10:56Plus, my mom caught you naked on top of my friend.
11:01Just read this.
11:02And if you still don't want to talk to me,
11:04then I'll never bother you again.
11:06Fine, I'll read it.
11:07But only if you get out of the car right now.
11:09Now, but the hot wax is starting.
11:11I know.
11:12Tick tock.
11:13Yeah.
11:25You're still in there?
11:26How long does it take to pluck that unibrow?
11:28Leave me alone.
11:29Danielle, I have to be at work in ten minutes.
11:32Now, can I please just come in and brush my teeth?
11:34I'm having a really bad day, alright?
11:36Just go away.
11:38I'm gonna have a really bad day too.
11:39I tend not to get tipped when my breath stinks.
11:44I'm pregnant.
11:57Mike, what are you doing here?
11:59Oh, hey.
12:00Um, I'm just selling some old jewelry.
12:03I spoke to my manager.
12:04There's gonna be a charge to remove the inscription,
12:06but we can refund you for the engagement ring.
12:09That'll be fine.
12:13Was that the ring that you bought for her?
12:15Yeah.
12:17Can I help you?
12:19Uh, yeah.
12:20I have to get this size.
12:22It's a little loose.
12:23Do you know your size?
12:24No.
12:26Congratulations, by the way.
12:28Ian seems great.
12:31Thanks.
12:32I can't find my sizer.
12:34Um, here.
12:36Try this one.
12:37Oh, no.
12:40How's that fit?
12:47It's perfect.
12:49Great.
12:55Can I have it back now?
12:58Oh, sorry.
13:12Hey, you've got a cousin in the limo business, don't you?
13:15Actually, I've got a cousin in the limo as a front for prostitution business.
13:19He's in jail. Why do you ask?
13:20Oh, I'm, uh, I'm just planning a big thing for my anniversary.
13:23Aren't you just gonna go to Shea Boring like you do every year?
13:25No.
13:27Lynette's so over that, she was ready to bag the whole night, so it got me thinking.
13:32For nine years, time to shake things out.
13:34Now I'm planning the greatest anniversary of all time.
13:40Check this out.
13:42Lynette's gonna open the door to find a limo driver with a dozen roses and a card.
13:45The card is gonna tell her to go with the guy, not ask any questions.
13:50He'll drive her out to the country, he'll drop her off, then drive away.
13:55Just as she is starting to freak out, I show up in a horse-drawn carriage.
14:01Which takes us up to Whitman's Bluff, where we eat a catered dinner,
14:05listen to a professional violinist.
14:12Afterward...
14:14You're one romantic son of a bitch.
14:17I have my moments.
14:20Of course, I'm not questioning Mayor Johnson's family values.
14:23I'm sure they're what prompted him to put his sister, his brother-in-law and six of his cousins on
14:26the city payroll.
14:31Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to cut this interview short.
14:34I have some very important business to attend to.
14:37Miss Solis.
14:39What a nice surprise.
14:41Are you here to make a contribution to my campaign?
14:43Not exactly.
14:45Oh, no. Did I forget to...
14:48I'm so sorry.
14:50Let me make it up to you.
14:51I'll take you to dinner.
14:52My treat.
14:53It would be your treat.
14:54I'm a hot date.
14:56What's in it for me?
14:57Well, I have an ingratiating wit.
15:00Trustworthy smile.
15:02According to the Plainview Herald.
15:04Yeah. Check, please.
15:08My family also owns Lang Enterprises.
15:12Dad's worth a few hundred mil.
15:18Well, girls gotta eat.
15:22Great.
15:23I'll take us to Kuchina.
15:24There's no place harder to get into.
15:27That's what you think.
15:31Mike, this is completely unnecessary.
15:34My paying for your lawyer was a favor.
15:36It wasn't a loan.
15:37I appreciate it.
15:38But I just don't like to owe anybody.
15:39Well, I just don't want you to have any trouble getting back on your feet.
15:42No, it's fine.
15:43I had a windfall.
15:45The hospital gave me back an engagement ring I didn't even know I had.
15:48Oh, really?
15:48So you sold it?
15:53Well, I couldn't give this ring to just anyone.
15:56Oh, right.
15:57The inscription.
16:02How'd you know it was inscribed?
16:05Well, isn't that the custom?
16:06I just assumed it was.
16:10Well, listen.
16:11I've got to get some fresh rags.
16:13Thanks for the check.
16:14I'll see you around.
16:19Oh, you can count on it.
16:22Are you sure?
16:23Yes.
16:23I peed on five different sticks.
16:26Would you put that burrito away?
16:28It's making me nauseous.
16:29Join the club.
16:31Look, I know your parents are religious, but I know this clinic.
16:33Absolutely not.
16:34So what other choice do we have?
16:36Well, gee, you could like, uh, marry me.
16:38Marry you?
16:39I can't stand you.
16:40Oh, nice way to talk to the mother of your child.
16:43Oh, God.
16:45Back room.
16:50Hey.
16:51Julie.
16:52Hi.
16:53Uh, hey.
16:54Your door was open.
16:55Can I come in?
16:56Uh, what are you doing here?
16:59I read your letter.
17:02I had no idea it would be so sweet.
17:05I could really tell it came from your heart.
17:08I'm embarrassed to admit I cried.
17:15My auntie sort of tied one on last night.
17:18Oh.
17:20Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is...
17:23Okay.
17:24Okay.
17:26We can try again.
17:28Julie, that's great!
17:29And I want to talk about this, but I just kind of need to take care of my aunt.
17:33Can I call you tomorrow?
17:34Sure.
17:36Oh.
17:37We're gonna have to take things slow, cause it'll be a while before I can trust you again.
17:43Whoa!
17:43I understand.
17:51Thank you, Bruno.
17:52The veal was excellent.
17:53Feel like dessert?
17:53No, thank you.
17:54I'm stuffed.
17:56Then let me propose a toast.
17:57To a delightful evening, and to the happy accident that brought us together.
18:02Victor, you are so full of crap.
18:05What?
18:06There was no accident.
18:07I know you told your chauffeur to ram my car.
18:09Why would I do that?
18:11For the same reason you forgot to sign the check.
18:14You've been working me since the second we met, and I've been on to you every step of the way.
18:20What?
18:20What's so funny?
18:21I just called you a manipulative jerk.
18:24I think I underestimated you.
18:26I also think this relationship just got a lot more interesting.
18:30There is no relationship.
18:31This is our last date.
18:32You didn't have any fun.
18:34It was okay.
18:36Now you told a few good jokes, you're sort of charming, you're not bad looking.
18:40I just think I can do better.
18:42Have you not noticed?
18:43I'm a catch.
18:44I have noticed, and I'm throwing your back.
18:48Gabby, let me tell you something.
18:50For my whole life, whenever I've truly wanted something, I've always gotten it.
18:56Tonight, right around the time you were calling me a manipulative jerk, I decided I truly want you.
19:04So brace yourself.
19:06The chase is on.
19:08You can chase me all you want, but trust me, I'm way too fast for you.
19:19Bruno?
19:22I'm gonna marry that girl.
19:28Can I just say something?
19:29You are way hotter than your online profile.
19:31So many guys say that.
19:42What's wrong?
19:43My friend's kid is out there.
19:49Hey, I got an idea.
19:51Let's go upstairs.
20:01I should warn you, my therapist says I'm sexually compulsive.
20:07This could take hours.
20:10Whatever your issues are, we will work them out together.
20:15Woohoo!
20:19That's almost eleven.
20:20What is he doing out there by himself?
20:22I'm sure his folks know he's out there.
20:27Now relax.
20:38I'm so sorry.
20:39I will be right back, I promise.
20:44Hey Travers, what are you doing out here?
20:45Where's your mom?
20:45She had to go visit a sick friend.
20:55No way.
20:56I didn't come over here to babysit some little brat.
20:58She can hear you.
20:59I don't care.
21:02Look, his mother is bound to be home soon, alright?
21:05Then we can pick up where we left off.
21:07Forget it.
21:08I'm officially no longer in the mood.
21:21I saw her wound your name.
21:24That's okay.
21:26She was a very bad lady.
21:28Who wanted to do very, very bad things to me.
21:33Night Raul!
21:52Where the hell have you been?
21:53Oh, I, uh, ducked out. Just for an hour.
21:57That's funny.
21:58Cause I found Travers wandering the streets three hours ago.
22:00Look, he was fine when I left. I just didn't like to go outside.
22:04Yeah, you never know what an eight year old is going to do.
22:05That's why you supervise him.
22:07Hey, you don't get to judge me. You don't have a kid.
22:10Well, if I did, I'd treat him a hell of a lot better than you do.
22:14Thank God he lives with his father.
22:15I mean, come on. What kind of mother are you?
22:21If you are done lecturing me, I would like my son now.
22:25He's asleep.
22:27Come and get him in the morning.
22:29When you're sober.
22:41Hey, buddy. Your mom's here for you.
22:47I know you think I'm a terrible person.
22:49I never said that.
22:51Terrible mother, terrible person. It's the same thing.
22:55Because no matter what else she does,
22:58if a woman isn't a good mother, she's a failure, right?
23:08Look, um...
23:09When I had Travers, I, uh, I knew I was in over my head.
23:13And when Charles and I split, I...
23:16I gave him custody.
23:20Because I wanted my son to have the best life possible.
23:25And that doesn't make me a good mother, but...
23:29I like to think it makes me a realistic one.
23:35Hey, Mom.
23:37Hey, champ.
23:39I missed you.
23:40I missed you, too.
23:43Guess what?
23:44I've got so many fun things for you to do today.
23:47Cool.
23:48Yeah.
23:48Thanks for the answering.
23:49My pleasure.
23:51I'll see you, little man.
23:52Hey.
23:55Travers said he's, uh, stayed at least a month.
23:58Yeah.
23:59So if you ever need a babysitter, just yell.
24:05I appreciate that.
24:10Hey!
24:11Wait for me!
24:12No, I don't want a viola player.
24:14Ask for a violinist.
24:15I don't even know what a viola is.
24:18Oh, it's at the big violin?
24:20Okay.
24:21Yeah, sure.
24:22Okay, I'll see you at eight.
24:24What was that?
24:26It's just a little surprise, okay?
24:29Let it go.
24:30Let it go.
24:31That's cute.
24:32Start talking.
24:34I planned a little something for our anniversary.
24:37That is all I'm gonna say.
24:40Okay.
24:41Okay, okay.
24:42If we're doing this, I need to buy you something.
24:44What do you want?
24:45You don't have to buy me anything.
24:46Well, you didn't have to plan anything, but you did, even though we had an agreement.
24:50You like ties?
24:51You're getting a tie.
24:52What are you getting so upset about?
24:53I've been dragging my ass all day, and the only thought that's kept me going is the hot bath.
24:58And now I have to do my hair and shave my legs.
25:01So what do you want to do, Lynette?
25:02Just tell me what you want.
25:04I told you what I want.
25:06Hot bath, bed early.
25:08But you chose not to listen.
25:11Well, okay.
25:11I guess I can just cancel the whole thing.
25:13You can have your dream evening alone, and I'll get up a poker game or something.
25:19Hey, you know what?
25:21I've been dragging my ass all day, too.
25:23And you know what got me through it?
25:24The idea of doing something special with you.
25:28Happy anniversary.
25:36Alright, I'm off to join your mother.
25:38The hotel number's on the fridge.
25:39In case there's a problem, Brie Setter's cell phone isn't getting good reception.
25:42Uh, actually, we kind of already have a problem.
25:45Well, I'm already late for my flight. Can this wait a few weeks till we're back?
25:49Yeah.
25:50Let's wait a few weeks.
25:51Oh, good.
25:52I mean, heck, this particular problem could wait nine months.
25:59Good Lord.
26:02How's your bath?
26:03Oh, I couldn't relax.
26:04I just kept replaying the fight I had with Tom in my head.
26:08Well, at least your husband tries to be romantic.
26:11Every anniversary, Gilbert bought me an appliance.
26:13On the last one, he gave me a vacuum cleaner.
26:15He died two weeks later.
26:17I didn't cry.
26:20Wow.
26:22Who could that be?
26:27Alright, here's what we're thinking.
26:29Clearly, the idea of the two of you getting married is ridiculous.
26:34So, what do you want me to do?
26:35Glad you asked.
26:37Brie and I have decided that Danielle will join us on our honeymoon.
26:42When we return, we'll tell our friends she's decided to study abroad.
26:45Once the baby is born and adopted by a suitable family, she'll come home.
26:52What about me?
26:53You leave.
26:55Leave?
26:55Get an affair of you and don't tell a soul why.
26:58Not even your aunt.
26:59I can't do that.
27:00Why not?
27:00Because I've got responsibilities here.
27:02People are counting on me.
27:03Yeah.
27:03Well, you should have thought of that before you impregnated my stepdaughter.
27:06I said I'm not leaving.
27:08Easy there, Turbo.
27:18So, who exactly is counting on you, hmm?
27:20Julie Meyer, maybe?
27:22She gave me another chance.
27:23I can't leave if I've still got a shot with her.
27:25And what's gonna happen when Julie finds out you knocked up my sister?
27:28Didn't your stepdad just say no one's gonna find out about that?
27:32Okay.
27:33Try this.
27:35Julie's a nice girl.
27:37And you, well, you're a dog.
27:46I'm a dog lover myself.
27:49Julie deserves better.
27:52And you know you'll just end up cheating on her.
27:54No, I won't hurt her again.
27:57I'm sure you will.
27:59Not right away.
28:01Maybe it'll hold out for six months.
28:03But then it'll hurt her even more.
28:07Am I wrong?
28:10I can't.
28:11You'll just have to ask yourself if you can be the kind of guy she needs you to be.
28:16If you can't, walk away.
28:29Beer is on the house, guys.
28:31Drink fast.
28:32Get stupid.
28:33Lose money.
28:35Mike!
28:36Hey.
28:36Hey, buddy.
28:38Hey, you know Orson, right?
28:40Oh, yeah.
28:41Hey, neighbor.
28:41Sure.
28:42Hey, so let's get started, huh?
28:43Five card stud.
28:44Two dollar ante.
28:46Good evening, gentlemen.
28:47Ian!
28:49Hey.
28:50Ian.
28:51Nice to see you, Mike.
28:57What is Fish and Ships doing here?
28:59Susan asked me to include him, said he always wanted to learn how to play poker, so we're
29:03gonna give him some very expensive lessons.
29:05Be careful.
29:07He already knows how to bluff.
29:14Hey.
29:15Hey.
29:16How's it going?
29:17Good, good.
29:18Uh, just wanted to tell y'all I have to leave town for a while.
29:22Really?
29:23Is something wrong?
29:25No, no, no.
29:25It's just family stuff.
29:29I don't know exactly when I'll be back.
29:32Could be a while, though.
29:33No.
29:36Oh.
29:39Okay.
29:40I just want you to know that it means a lot that you were willing to give me a second
29:44chance.
29:47You're like the only person that's ever done that.
29:51Austin, what's going on?
29:54Nothing.
29:54Uh, it's just...
29:57I have to go.
30:01Goodbye, Julie.
30:04Austin!
30:27I'll raise you.
30:31Mm.
30:32Out.
30:33Another courageous move with Foldy Locks.
30:36All right.
30:37I'll call you.
30:39Flush, King High.
30:42Full House.
30:43Sevens and knaves.
30:44Jacks.
30:45We call them Jacks.
30:47Boy, this is your lucky room.
30:50Yes, I heard about your engagement the other night.
30:52Congratulations.
30:53Yeah, about that.
30:55Ian, was that proposal spontaneous or did you have it all planned?
31:00Oh, it was entirely planned.
31:01I thought it would be the ideal occasion.
31:03Wow.
31:04How long it was planned?
31:04Why didn't you have a ring?
31:06Well, I thought Susan might like to choose the ring herself.
31:10Anti-up, boys!
31:10So why'd she pick a ring that was too big for her?
31:15How did you know that?
31:17Guys, guys, guys, guys.
31:18We came here to play cards.
31:19Why are we talking about jewelry?
31:21Sorry, Tom.
31:22But I just found out I bought a ring for Susan myself.
31:25It was in my pocket that night.
31:26Some son of a bitch ran me over.
31:28Tom's right.
31:29We should focus on the game.
31:31After our talk, I called the hospital.
31:35They said my ring got in with your wife's stuff.
31:37So you saw it before I did.
31:39The same day you proposed to Susan.
31:43And your point is?
31:44That that's why you were in such a big hurry.
31:47You wanted to seal the deal before I found out about the ring.
31:49And told her.
31:52Do you think I'm afraid of you?
31:54Maybe you should be.
31:56What do you think Susan would say
31:57if she found out why your proposal was so spontaneous?
32:01Guys, can we just play?
32:03I'm trying.
32:05Fine.
32:08Deal.
32:17Hello?
32:18Mrs. Cabo.
32:18It's Lamar from the limo service.
32:20Got a flat, so it might be late picking up you and your wife.
32:24What are you talking about?
32:25I canceled you.
32:26No, you didn't.
32:27Yes, I did.
32:27I left you a message.
32:29Oh, I must have missed it.
32:30Anyway, I dropped your wife off right where you told me.
32:33Okay.
32:41Guys, lock up when you're done.
32:47I'll open.
32:51I'm out.
32:52And I'll raise you.
32:58You want a beer?
32:59Hell, Tom's gone.
33:00Let's go open up the good stuff.
33:06Well, looks like it's just you and me.
33:08If you're still in.
33:11With this end?
33:12You bet I am.
33:15I'll re-raise.
33:17I'll re-raise.
33:24And raise again.
33:28Your stack's looking kinda small.
33:39Will you take a check?
33:41You know I can't match that.
33:44How about this then?
33:46You win, you keep the money, and you tell Susan whatever you want.
33:50I win, you keep your mouth shut about the ring, and you leave me and Susan alone.
34:07Deal.
34:20How was the game?
34:24I won.
34:38Lynette, I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
34:42You see, there was supposed to be a horse-drawn carriage and...
34:46Oh, good. You got the flowers.
35:00Coffee?
35:01Yes, please.
35:04Yeah, she likes coffee too, thanks.
35:09I'm really, really, really sorry.
35:12Please, stop apologizing. I appreciate what you were trying to do.
35:15It was a lovely thought that just went hideously, hideously, hideously wrong.
35:21Wait till the kids find out that you saw a real Coyote.
35:24Hideously.
35:29I learned my lesson.
35:31Never again, no more surprises.
35:33From now on, I'll do exactly what you say.
35:39Oh, don't you dare.
35:43What?
35:44I had a lot of time to think tonight, and I realized you were right.
35:49We have to keep the romance going, no matter how tired we are.
35:55The only thing worse than just going through the motions is not bothering to go through the motions.
36:01The only thing is.
36:03So you want me to surprise you next year?
36:06Knock yourself out.
36:08Just wait, because I will think of something even better.
36:11Well, after this year, I would be happy with any date that included food and shelter.
36:29Nine years.
36:35Nine years.
36:37And I have loved every minute of it.
36:42Me too.
36:51Take a drive down any street in suburbia.
36:54Know what you're going to see?
36:57A bunch of guys wearing the same expression.
37:01It's a look that says,
37:03Oh crap.
37:05My dreams are never going to come true.
37:10I'll never have a life free from scandal.
37:15I'll never have a son of my own.
37:20I'll never hold her in my arms again.
37:25I'll never get to tell her how I feel.
37:32Yeah, the suburbs are filled with a lot of men who've given up hope.
37:38Of course, every once in a while, you do come across some lucky SOB whose dreams have all come true.
37:45You know how you spot them?
37:48They're the ones who can't stop smiling.
37:53Don't you just hate those guys?