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00:02The art of sabotage gets practiced every day in the suburbs.
00:07Sometimes it takes the form of a bund cake offered to a friend who's on a diet.
00:14Other times it's a cable cut just as a husband's friends arrive to watch the big game.
00:20And there's always that anonymous phone call to the city zoning department.
00:26Yes, in suburbia, everyone you meet is a potential saboteur.
00:33Absolutely, everyone.
00:35Good afternoon, I'm Bree Hodge, and you are?
00:38Name's Gus, and we're all booked up.
00:40Actually, Gus, I'm here to see one of your guests, a gentleman named Faladi.
00:46Oh, he came in about an hour ago. You want me to call him for you?
00:48No, no, no, no. I'd like you to take me to his room and unlock it so I can walk
00:51in unannounced.
00:54Maybe I can't do that. Besides, she has a girl in there.
00:57Yes, I know. She's my daughter. My 17-year-old daughter.
01:02Yeah, that would be room 17.
01:06Now, there's irony for you.
01:09You don't have a gun in there, do you? Because they just put down new carpet.
01:13Gus, I don't plan anything unpleasant.
01:14I'm simply going to inform Mr. Faladi what repercussions he faces if he continues this relationship.
01:20And trust him to see reason.
01:27What the hell?
01:28Mom, what are you doing here?
01:29Just get off my head.
01:30How did you do this to me?
01:31What makes you think that you could walk in the room?
01:33Yes, the art of sabotage. It's practiced every day in the suburbs.
01:42Oh, how did it go?
01:45Quite well, I think.
01:46But few do it as well as Brie Hodge.
01:50Oh, and Gus, the carpet is beautiful.
01:56Or as politely.
02:00Family dinner.
02:02There was a time when that phrase meant something on Wisteria Lane.
02:06Of course, this was back when meals were lovingly prepared.
02:11By wives who loved to cook.
02:15For children who remembered their manners.
02:20But family dinners, like the times, had changed.
02:25And there was only one house in the neighborhood where dinner remained a family occasion.
02:32And attendance was not optional.
02:37I don't know when I've tasted such tender spring lamb.
02:40Thank you, dear.
02:42Danielle, you haven't touched your dinner.
02:44She doesn't like spring lamb.
02:46She prefers old goat.
02:49I'm glad you guys think it's so funny that my life is over.
02:52Your mother was right to end that relationship.
02:54The man was your teacher.
02:55And married.
02:56He's getting a divorce.
02:57Well, that hardly bolsters his suitability.
02:59Danielle, please eat something.
03:00Don't worry, dear.
03:01Hunger strikes demand self-control.
03:03And as we've seen, that's hardly her strong suit.
03:05When are you gonna take me seriously?
03:07When you start acting like an adult.
03:09Well, she sleeps with him.
03:10That's a start.
03:12I hate you!
03:14I hate all of you!
03:22Remind me to buy paper plates.
03:23We'll need them till a certain someone can be trusted with China again.
03:30Ah!
03:37Wow!
03:38You're pretty good at that.
03:39Hey!
03:40You are home early!
03:41Hi!
03:41Yes, I am!
03:42What is all this?
03:44We are having a celebration!
03:47Sit.
03:49What are we celebrating?
03:50You being the greatest wife in the world.
03:55Thanks!
03:57No, seriously, though.
03:59I mean it.
04:01How many wives would tell their husbands to follow his dreams
04:04and then have the patience to wait while he figures out what the hell it is?
04:09Oh, my God! You know what you want to do! That's fantastic!
04:12What is it?
04:13Wait for it. Wait for it.
04:15I knew I needed to spend my days doing something I was passionate about.
04:18Something creative.
04:19Yeah, I've had it.
04:21Something where I interacted with the public but I was still my own boss.
04:24And then this morning it just like BAM!
04:26It hit me.
04:27Okay.
04:27Okay, I'm dying here.
04:29What's the dream?
04:30You're eating it.
04:34Excuse me?
04:35I'm gonna open up a pizza parlor!
04:38I bet you didn't see that one coming.
04:40No! That was a real frisbee to the head, that one.
04:43But, but, when you think about it, doesn't it make perfect sense?
04:46I mean, Marnar's in my blood.
04:48You remember Uncle Vito?
04:49He came to this country with nothing.
04:50He turned that trattoria into a gold mine.
04:52Isn't he the one that asked us for a loan last Christmas?
04:56He has a gambling problem.
04:58But don't blame the pizza.
04:59Trust me.
05:00Got this thing all mapped out.
05:01It's gonna have like a real family feel with like big portion but small prices, crayons for the kids.
05:08God, I feel good about this.
05:13So what do you think?
05:16I think I'm gonna open another bottle of wine.
05:20But we haven't finished this one.
05:22Hey, we're celebrating, right?
05:35Carlos, what are you doing in my room?
05:38Oh, hey Gabby, you're home early.
05:40God, Carlos. Strawberries and champagne. Did you really think you're gonna seduce me?
05:45Never entered my mind.
05:46Right, right.
05:47You know, I may be living with you until the divorce is final but it doesn't mean I have to
05:50put up with your cheesy comeons.
05:53Gabby, can I just say one thing?
05:54What?
05:55You've been doing some thinking and you realize that I'm your soulmate and there's a vacancy in your heart only
05:59I can fill?
06:00Gabby, listen.
06:01It's over between us.
06:02Just move on already.
06:04Forget me.
06:07Woo!
06:13As I was trying to say, I have company over.
06:17This is Trishel.
06:19Mm-hmm.
06:20Trishel, this is...
06:23What was your name again?
06:25I seem to have forgotten.
06:34So the doctor said I should use as many things as I can to jog your memory.
06:37And not just pictures.
06:38He said I could use tastes and smells and sounds.
06:42So tonight is...
06:44Sounds of the Seventy.
06:49Okay.
06:50Well, you know, let me set the scene.
06:52Um, we were at this funky little fish joint that you've been dying to take me to, Cappy's.
06:57Do you remember Cappy's?
07:01Okay, well, we were there and, uh, we were just wolfing down the most delicious trout ever.
07:05How long till the music part?
07:07Oh, it's coming.
07:08Um, and, and this Seventies cover band, well, they started to play.
07:12And that's how we got our song.
07:18Our song was Car Wash.
07:20Yeah, see how much fun we were.
07:23So, I dragged you out onto the dance floor.
07:26And, well, you were giving me this look.
07:28Sort of like the look you're giving me right now.
07:30And, um, I started to do this.
07:34And then you did this.
07:38I'm, I'm sorry.
07:39This, this isn't working.
07:40Oh, my.
07:41Come on, you're not even trying to remember.
07:43It was fun.
07:44Oh, I know.
07:45Okay, sing with me.
07:47Car wash.
07:48Talking about the car wash.
07:50Woo!
07:51Car wash, yeah.
07:55You know, I'm really beat.
07:58Okay, Mike, I, I am not doing this to upset you.
08:00I'm doing this to help.
08:02I get that.
08:04It's just, uh, music is giving me a headache.
08:08Okay, well, I'll go.
08:10But I am not giving up on you.
08:12You know, you are going to remember the night that we danced at the car wash.
08:15Not just because it was fun, but because later that night we did some things that, trust me, are worth
08:21remembering.
08:30That Jane Doe from the golf course?
08:33I think I missed something at the autopsy.
08:35Check it out.
08:37You always gotta come at lunch, don't you?
08:39Those blue marks on the back of her hand?
08:42First I thought they were veins.
08:43Now I think it's ink.
08:45You mean like some kind of writing?
08:46Yeah, I need to run some more tests.
08:48See if I can get a clearer image.
08:50I could be wrong, but...
08:52But what?
08:54I think it's a phone number.
09:01The oddest thing happened at the club today.
09:04Tish Atherton.
09:07Andrew, would you be a dear and make sure your sister's just breaking her own things?
09:18Anyway, Tish Atherton.
09:25Daniel?
09:45Yeah. I'll tell them.
09:48I'm telling you, it was a deliberate snub.
09:50I waved to her and she looked right through me.
09:53True, I never bought her eldest daughter a gift.
09:55Andrew, please don't interrupt me while I'm speaking.
09:57True, I never bought her eldest daughter a gift, but you know my policy.
10:00No husband, no baby gift.
10:03Now, what is it, dear?
10:06Um, Danielle's upstairs trying to commit suicide.
10:17There's no rush. She's not trying that hard.
10:25How can you sit there playing that ridiculous game?
10:28Your sister tried to kill herself. That doesn't upset you?
10:30She tried to slit her wrist with a spoon. How upset do you want me to be?
10:34Mrs. Hodge.
10:35Is my daughter all right?
10:36She's a little groggy, but she'll be fine. The wounds are fairly superficial.
10:40So is the patient.
10:42We'll release her tonight, but you understand that in cases like this, counseling is mandatory.
10:47Of course, we'll get her all the help she needs.
10:49She is resisting our efforts to pump her stomach. She says she only took three sedatives.
10:53She's disoriented. Pump her.
10:55Andrew!
10:58Pump her.
11:03They're sticking a tube down her throat. Do you still think this is funny?
11:07Mom, this was a half-assed bid for attention.
11:09This was a cry for help, and if we don't listen, the next time she could do something even more
11:13dangerous.
11:14Yeah, next time she might jump off the porch.
11:16Stop it!
11:17Suicide is the worst thing that can happen to a family I will not have it made light of!
11:28Orson's right.
11:30We need to support each other as a family.
11:32In fact, I say we all go for counseling.
11:43Tom actually said he's opening up a pizza parlor?
11:46Lynette, you're not serious.
11:48Well, might as well stand in a vat of tomato sauce and tear up $100 bills.
11:51I know, but I said that I would support him and help him follow his dream.
11:54I can't hold you to that. Not the dream. It's pizza.
11:57She promised to stand by him, and once you make that commitment, you have to see it through.
12:01Yeah. How's that divorce going?
12:04I'm done talking.
12:06Hey, Parker, be careful up there.
12:08I just keep thinking he's going to come to his senses and realize it's a bad idea.
12:13That's never going to happen.
12:14Why?
12:15Because men are genetically incapable of realizing that their dreams are stupid.
12:19Care to elaborate, Dr. McCluskey?
12:20My husband sold insurance for 36 years, and one day he woke up and decided he wanted to move to
12:25Paris and paint naked ladies.
12:27I told him, Gilbert, you can barely paint the garage.
12:29What makes you think you can commit art?
12:32And for the rest of his life, he despised me.
12:34He despised you for saying no?
12:37Well, he also thought I was sleeping with his brother, and I'm sure that was mixed in there, too.
12:46Okay, so I got Kayla all unpacked.
12:48Oh, great. So, uh, Tom will drop her off at your house on Friday.
12:52Sounds good. Lynette, can I talk to you for a second?
12:54Mm-hmm. Yeah.
13:02Okay, pardon me for having really big ears, but I heard about Tom and this pizza place.
13:06Do you want to know what I think?
13:08No, not really.
13:09It sucks. It's a sucky idea.
13:12And your friends back there, they're just too nice to come right out and say it.
13:15Luckily, I'm not your friend, so you can trust me.
13:20Nip it in the bud.
13:23And make Tom resent me for the rest of his life. I don't think so.
13:27Well, you better do something.
13:29Because if you don't, you and me will wind up working a pole to pay for braces.
13:43Julie, I want you some flowers.
13:46Generally, when you buy flowers, they don't still have the roots on them.
13:50Okay, uh, I was hoping you could help me with my English slip paper.
13:53Hi. I'm Sarah.
13:55Hey. So, what do you say?
13:57Actually, I'm sort of busy right now.
13:59Oh, come on. Look, Aunt Edie's going to give me the boot if I flunk out.
14:03Wouldn't you miss me?
14:04Absolutely. Whose motorcycle would wake us all up at two in the morning?
14:08You drive a motorcycle?
14:12Please. Look, I could really use some help here.
14:17Normally, I charge $12 an hour for tutoring, but seeing as it's you, $15.
14:22Great. See you Friday.
14:26Oh, just so you know, I charge $15 an hour to make out, so I'll probably break even.
14:44Hi. You're new. Where's Marcy?
14:47She's in Honolulu on vacation. Can I help you?
14:49Oh, I'm just going to see Mike Delfino.
14:51What's that smell?
14:52Uh, that's my macaroni cheese. I was hoping it would trigger Mike's memory.
14:56I made it the first time we met two years ago.
14:58You should have refrigerated it.
15:02Edie?
15:04Oh, you know Ms. Britt?
15:06Uh, yeah. What is she doing here?
15:09Visiting Mr. Delfino.
15:11You know she was with him when he came out of his coma.
15:14What?
15:14And she's been here every day since.
15:18You!
15:21Hello, Susan.
15:22Long time, no see.
15:24I've been wondering why Mike's been so cold to me. Now it all makes sense.
15:27I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
15:29Whew. For God's sake, take a bath.
15:31Oh, that's my mac and cheese. Don't change the subject.
15:33What have you been telling him about me?
15:35Why would I say anything about you?
15:37Mike has no idea who you are.
15:39I envy him.
15:40Ladies, is there a problem?
15:42I want this woman banned from the hospital.
15:44She's been like this ever since Mike dumped her.
15:47Imagine fatal attraction with a much older woman.
15:51Ma'am, Mr. Delfino already has a visitor. I think you should go.
15:56Me?
15:56But why doesn't she leave?
15:57I'm the one who's been here every day for the last six months.
16:00Well, I don't know you, but I do know his girlfriend.
16:05Girlfriend?
16:06Okay, you know what? I want Marcy's number in Honolulu, and I want it right now.
16:10You need to leave.
16:11What?
16:11You're disturbing the other patient.
16:12What are you? Oh, this is ridiculous.
16:14I mean, who am I disturbing?
16:15It's a calm award.
16:17Don't you want them to wake up?
16:21I did not call you that.
16:22Yes, you did.
16:23I have never in my life used the word retard.
16:25It's what you think.
16:26You think I'm this immature moron who can't be trusted to decide what's best for her.
16:30Well, you did try to off yourself.
16:32I don't think you get to pull the I know what's best for me card.
16:34Andrew, not in front of the therapist.
16:36Actually, I think we're making great progress.
16:38You feel Danielle refuses to see you're acting in her best interest.
16:43And you think your mother cares more about her image than your feelings.
16:47Danielle, how can you think I don't care about your feelings?
16:50Don't you know how much your mother loves you?
16:52When I saw you in that tub, it was the worst moment of my life.
16:56The thought of losing you is more than I can bear.
16:59How does that make you feel?
17:05Actually, kind of powerful.
17:10Powerful?
17:11You really don't want to lose me.
17:13Of course not.
17:14I already went through thinking I'd lost Andrew.
17:16I can't go through that again.
17:18Well, then, here's what's going to happen.
17:21I'm going to start dating Robert again.
17:23And if you try to break us up or get him fired,
17:26then I'm going to leave and you will never see me again.
17:29Danielle.
17:29If that can survive on its own, so can I.
17:31You don't believe me?
17:33Call my bluff.
17:34See what happens.
17:41So, what do we owe you for all this progress?
17:49Come on, Austin.
17:50Concentrate.
17:51Okay, why did Iago betray Othello?
17:54Uh, because the play would suck if he didn't.
17:59What do you think you're doing?
18:01Hmm.
18:02Sorry.
18:03No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:05We're here to work.
18:05And if my mom came home, she'd flip.
18:07Now, put that away.
18:11Ah.
18:12You said put it away?
18:14Look, if you think I'm going to sit here
18:16and write your paper for you while you're getting drunk...
18:18Look, just help me get it started.
18:20Look, this is hard for me.
18:21All right, I didn't read a lot of Shakespeare and Juvie.
18:23I kind of majored in not getting stabbed.
18:27Ugh, fine.
18:28I'll write your intro, but then you're on your own.
18:30Thank you very much.
18:31Ugh.
18:32Ugh.
18:35So, why'd they send you to Juvie anyway?
18:38They didn't.
18:39My mom did.
18:42Why?
18:44She had this boyfriend.
18:46No job, big drunk, real catch.
18:49One night he pops her once, so I break a chair over a set,
18:51and, uh, she calls cops.
18:53Not me.
18:56But you were protecting her.
18:58Yeah, that's what I thought.
19:01But the guy said he'd leave if she didn't press charges,
19:03and, uh, my mom doesn't really like to be alone.
19:10You know what?
19:12You're tired.
19:13Um, why don't you lay down for a couple minutes,
19:15and I'll just do a page or two.
19:19You're a rock star, Meyer.
19:21Come on.
19:31Carlos.
19:32No Trichelle tonight?
19:34Uh, no.
19:35About her, I have a confession to make.
19:37Does her pimp want the rest of the money?
19:39You know, there is some cash in my purse.
19:41Look, I know I crossed a line bringing her here,
19:43but I was trying to make you jealous.
19:45Like the way you made me feel when you said you slept with John Roland again.
19:49Well, I think it's more than that.
19:51I think you really hate me.
19:53That's not true.
19:54Oh, I think it is.
19:55You know, introducing your spouse to someone you're about to have sex with.
19:58There's only one reason to do that.
20:02Pure hatred.
20:03You don't know what you're talking about.
20:12Oh, I think I do.
20:19Phil, come meet my basically ex-husband.
20:22Carlos.
20:22Carlos, this is my new friend, Phil Lopez.
20:25We met, Gabby.
20:26Really?
20:27Well, that's weird.
20:28When?
20:29Fairview Chamber of Commerce, the annual dinner.
20:32Oh, my God.
20:33That's right.
20:33That's right.
20:35You're up for the Latino Businessman of the Year award that Phil won.
20:39Well, actually, I beat him out twice.
20:41Oh, I remember.
20:44Carlos was so annoyed.
20:45What did you say, hon?
20:47He may have that trophy, but I've got you.
20:51Ain't that funny?
20:53Gabby, can we talk for a sec?
20:56Not right now.
20:56Phil and I are getting in the hot dog.
20:58Oh, Phil, did you bring your suit?
20:59You said I didn't have to.
21:00I'm not in front of Arlo's, Kay.
21:04Go outside.
21:05I'll meet you there.
21:09Phil Lopez?
21:11You brought on Phil Lopez?
21:13I had no idea you hated me that much.
21:16Well, now you know.
21:24Hey, good news.
21:26My realtor found me some sweet locations.
21:29That's great.
21:31Hey, can we talk about this restaurant thing for a second?
21:34Yeah, what's up?
21:36I don't know if you noticed, but when you first pitched the whole thing,
21:42Yeah, I sense that.
21:43Of course you did, because you're a smart guy,
21:45which is also why you are going to jump on the idea I have
21:49to make the whole thing work.
21:51Okay, so you're not bailing on me?
21:52No.
21:53No, no, no.
21:54I am totally on board.
21:56Oh, good.
21:57You had me scared there for a second.
21:59Okay, so, well, what is this great idea?
22:02I'm thinking catering company.
22:06Huh?
22:07Start small, have an Italian theme, create some cash flow,
22:11and then later on, expand into the pizza thing.
22:15But that's not my dream.
22:17Well, think about it.
22:18You're going to do all these fun parties.
22:21People will start talking.
22:23Hey, this is great food.
22:24This guy should open a restaurant.
22:25Yeah, yeah.
22:26I'd eat there and then wham, five, short.
22:28Years later, you have a built-in customer base.
22:32But I said it's not my dream.
22:33Pizza is my dream.
22:35I know, I know.
22:35Catering's how you get there.
22:36So why can't I just skip the catering and go straight to the pizza?
22:38Because you'll fail.
22:41I'm sorry.
22:43I shouldn't have said that.
22:44But you're gambling with our life savings,
22:47and you have no experience.
22:49He said you'd support me.
22:54I'm trying to.
22:55I am trying to.
22:56But are you aware that 90% of restaurants tank in their first year?
23:00Which means that 10% of them make it.
23:01Why don't you ever think that I would be one of them?
23:03No, no.
23:05Do me a favor.
23:08Don't answer that.
23:18Yoo-hoo, Carlos!
23:20I'm making a snack for Phil.
23:23Do you want something to eat?
23:25Some sour grapes, perhaps?
23:28Maybe a little crow?
23:37Okay, we need to move this over there.
23:39Why?
23:41Uh, Feng Shui.
23:43I don't know, don't just stand there.
23:44Help me.
23:55Hey, let's start without me.
23:58Oh, no, no.
23:59Let's get something straight.
24:00You and I are not going to have sex tonight.
24:02What?
24:04I'm sorry.
24:04No offense.
24:05You're a nice guy.
24:05I'm just not into you that way.
24:07Oh, God!
24:08Phil!
24:09Yes!
24:10Yes!
24:10Get it to me!
24:11Okay, okay.
24:12I'm not talking to you.
24:13Back off.
24:14Oh!
24:14But I thought, I mean, in the hot tub, we were...
24:18Yes, you saw my boobs.
24:19And you're going to have that mental snapshot to use as you wish for the rest of your life.
24:22That is all you're getting!
24:26Wait, wait.
24:27You're just using me?
24:29Unbelievable.
24:30I want?
24:31We're unbelievable!
24:32Really?
24:33Oh, so are you!
24:35Great boys!
24:36Yes!
24:42No wonder you're divorcing her.
24:44She's a straight-up loon.
24:46Crap, she's blocking my car.
24:49Always happy to help a brother out.
24:52Hold on.
24:55Oh, God!
24:57Yes!
24:58All right, Cowboys!
25:00Oh, yes!
25:03Take me home, Philly!
25:05You should wear a saddle!
25:07Yes!
25:07Yes!
25:09Stupid!
25:09I really told you to beat it.
25:11No means no.
25:14I need your car keys.
25:16You're blocking the stallion's hatchback.
25:25Oh, yes.
25:26Yes, Phil.
25:28Fill me with Phil!
25:30I never said that.
25:32And you moved the bed.
25:33What were you thinking?
25:34Shut up.
25:35You know, if you're trying to hurt me, that's not the way to do it.
25:37Well, then enlighten me.
25:39How can I hit you so hard that you will never recover?
25:44You can't.
25:45No, I have to, Carlos.
25:46I need you to give up on us.
25:48We're not good for each other, and I can't keep doing this.
25:52But I can't.
25:54You proved something tonight.
25:56You had a rich, good-looking guy in your bed, and you couldn't pull the trigger.
26:00That means you still care.
26:02And as long as I know that, I can take anything that you can dish out.
26:09You know what?
26:10I'm tired.
26:11Can we talk about this in the morning?
26:14Sure.
26:15But you're bringing me breakfast in bed or no deal.
26:19It's a date.
26:36Sarah?
26:38What are you, uh, oh!
26:40Oh, Julie, thank God, it's you.
26:42We totally thought you were the cop.
26:44Oh, hey, Julie.
26:45What are you, on bus, kill patrol tonight?
26:48This is why you couldn't go to the movies with me?
26:50Well, sorry, I thought you weren't that into him.
26:52You know, if you are...
26:53I'm not.
26:54I'm just, I'm mad that you blew me off.
26:56Well, I would totally understand if you wanted to blow me off for a date.
27:00You call this a date?
27:01Getting mauled in a car?
27:03Hey, you want to talk about this later?
27:04I'm losing altitude here.
27:07You are disgusting.
27:09Enjoy the rest of your date.
27:14Julie, there you are.
27:16I think I found a way to get through to Mike.
27:18Let it go.
27:18No, he's not into you.
27:25Gabby, rise and shine.
27:27I made you some waffles.
27:33I got a second wind last night, so I went to a bar.
27:36That's where I met Jason.
27:37We spent the whole night, how did you put it?
27:41Pulling the trigger.
27:47So did I hurt you, or should I keep trying?
27:58And you kicked ass in rehab today.
28:02Yeah, I raised my arm over my head.
28:04Sign me up for the Olympics.
28:05Oh, be patient.
28:06It takes time.
28:08It's Rick.
28:09Phone call for you at the nurse's station.
28:11For me?
28:12Huh.
28:13I'll be right back.
28:20There's a phone call for me.
28:23Seriously?
28:24Where do you...
28:24Shh, I thought you could use some fresh air.
28:26Hello?
28:28Hello, it's Edie.
28:32What the hell is this?
28:33Who's he?
28:34Oh, this is Hank.
28:35And he has very kindly offered to take us on a little field trip today.
28:38For 60 bucks an hour.
28:40Where are you taking me?
28:41Uh, just a little jaunt down memory lane.
28:44Oh, God.
28:45You're not taking me to that fish and disco place, are you?
28:48No, no.
28:48What we're doing today is a little more low-key.
28:50Don't worry.
28:51You're totally safe.
28:52We're not doing anything wrong.
28:57Punch it!
29:04Hello.
29:05Look, Mrs. Hodge, I've only seen your daughter once since the motel.
29:08She told me that you backed off.
29:09Oh, Mr. Folletti, I'm not here to threaten you.
29:11I've come to give you my blessing.
29:14Your blessing?
29:15Yes, Danielle made it quite clear that I'm powerless to stop this relationship.
29:18And since she assures me that you love her, you do love her, don't you?
29:23Yes, of course.
29:24Good.
29:25Then we're all set.
29:28Here are some of her clothes.
29:30I'll bring her CDs and her stuffed animals over tomorrow.
29:33You want her to stay here?
29:35This place is kind of small.
29:37Well, that hotel room was small and you seemed happy enough there.
29:40Oh, and I trust you to be discreet.
29:42You wouldn't want your wife to find out about this and use it against you in your divorce.
29:47Whoa, whoa.
29:48Mrs. Hodge, things are getting a little bit complicated.
29:52Could you please tell Danielle that this is not going to work out?
29:55Mr. Folletti, if you want to break my daughter's heart, I can't stop you.
29:58But I will not be an accomplice.
30:00You'll tell her yourself.
30:03Right.
30:03And don't even think about blaming me, because if you so much as mention that we spoke, I'll phone the
30:08police.
30:10Fine.
30:10And I will leave you out of it.
30:15Oh, and one more thing.
30:17Yes?
30:18Danielle is applying to colleges.
30:20I do hope she can count on you for a glowing recommendation.
30:24Sure.
30:29And when I locked myself out of the house, that's where the bush was that you found me in.
30:33Naked.
30:34Surely you remember that.
30:36Nope.
30:37Ouch, that hurts.
30:39Um, okay, remember this spot?
30:42This is where we sat in your truck and had our first kiss.
30:46Were you naked then, too?
30:49Ugh, Mike.
30:50Why are you being this way?
30:52There's just pointless.
30:54I'm sorry.
30:55I can't.
30:56I don't remember being with you.
30:58Okay, I know it's hard.
30:59But you've got to make an effort.
31:00And you know, if your head is a little foggy, then don't look there.
31:03Look in your heart.
31:05Because I'm in there.
31:07Just like you're inside mine.
31:11Okay.
31:11Um, this is Mary Alice's house.
31:15And this is where we first met.
31:17I was setting out my macaroni and cheese.
31:19And you were in line and...
31:20Oh, oh, I'm good.
31:24Finally, a smile.
31:26You do that a lot, don't you?
31:27Well, yeah, I've been known to take a spiller, too.
31:29But, you know, my doctor says it's an inner ear.
31:33Wait, you remember that?
31:35Yeah, I think I do.
31:37Yes, that's progress, see?
31:39Oh, it's all going to come back.
31:40We're going to be us again.
31:42But what about the British guy?
31:50Mike, I don't know what Edie's been telling you,
31:53but Ian and I, we're just friends.
31:55Just friends?
31:57Yeah.
31:58Now.
32:04Look, you've got to understand.
32:06The doctors were telling me that you would probably never wake up.
32:10And I just needed somebody to talk to.
32:13And that's what you were doing in the country, talking.
32:21Mr. Delfino, are you okay?
32:25I'm fine.
32:26You can't just discharge a patient without permission.
32:29Oh, but I was just trying to help him remember.
32:31And tell her, Mike, we were making progress.
32:35Take me back to the hospital.
32:42Oh, God.
32:43Mike!
32:44Well, at the risk of stating the obvious, it's over.
32:49He's mine now.
32:50No, no, no, no.
32:51This is not how this ends.
32:53No, evil does not triumph over good.
32:55That's how you see me?
32:56Damn straight.
32:57You lie, you cheat, you scheme.
32:59You ruin people's relationships.
33:01I mean, how do you sleep at night?
33:03Soon, with Mike on top of me.
33:05If you know what I mean.
33:07See?
33:08Evil.
33:09Evil!
33:10Has it ever occurred to you that maybe Mike and I are meant to end up together?
33:16No!
33:18Mike, you don't even want him.
33:19You're just doing this to hurt me.
33:22Wow.
33:24How self-absorbed can you be?
33:26I have had a thing from Mike since the day he moved in here.
33:28And I even backed off when he fell for your little Miss Adorable act.
33:31But he's over that.
33:32It's my turn now.
33:33And I will be better for him than you ever were.
33:36And if you do get hurt, well, that's just gravy.
33:43All right.
33:45Maybe that was a little evil.
34:00Finally.
34:01Sorry it took so long.
34:02That last digit was barely legible.
34:04I thought you'd like to do the honors.
34:18You've reached Mike Delfino Plumbing.
34:20Please leave a message after the beep.
34:36Whoa, a D-minus.
34:37That blows.
34:38Yeah, it does.
34:40Especially since it's not the one we did together.
34:41You emailed me the wrong paper.
34:43You didn't even read it before you turned it in?
34:45I didn't think I had to.
34:46The one you wrote that night was great.
34:48Well, after you left, I decided I really should put it in your words.
34:53Is this some weird chick thing you did because you're into me?
34:56Oh, please.
34:58No, no, no, it is.
34:59You're pissed because I hooked up with your friend.
35:01No, I'm pissed because you told me some sob story, so I'd write your paper for you.
35:05Now you owe me 15 bucks.
35:07You know what?
35:09Here.
35:12Oh, and I did learn something.
35:14Iago betrayed Othello because he was jealous.
35:25Oh, Danielle, I thought you'd be with Mr. Filotti tonight.
35:27Oh, you'll be happy to know he dumped me.
35:29He dumped you?
35:30He said it was getting too messy that I was going to complicate his divorce.
35:35Don't pretend you're sorry.
35:36I don't plan to.
35:38I hope this doesn't make history class too awkward.
35:40Oh, you don't have to worry about that.
35:42I went to the principal and got his ass fired.
35:44And then when he called to yell at me for squealing on him,
35:46I recorded the call and sent a tape of it to his wife.
35:50Thanks to me, he'll be getting nothing in this divorce.
35:56I must say that was rather underhanded.
35:58Yes.
35:59I wonder where she gets it.
36:04Bye, Daddy.
36:06I'll see you guys next Friday, okay?
36:09Kayla said that you're opening a pizza place.
36:12Oh, maybe.
36:13I mean, it's not a done deal yet.
36:15Ah.
36:16Lynette put the kibosh on it, huh?
36:19What makes you say that?
36:21Well, you know.
36:22Lynette.
36:25She's probably right.
36:26I mean, there's a bunch of dumb schmucks out there trying to open restaurants, so...
36:29You know, Tom, I've tasted your pizza.
36:31And I have to be perfectly honest with you.
36:34It was like I died and went to Italy.
36:39Really?
36:40Oh, my God, you are born to do this.
36:43And I just hate to see you give it up because, well...
36:47Man, this is none of my business.
36:49But Lynette does bully you sometimes.
36:55She doesn't mean to.
36:56Then don't let her.
36:57You go to the mat on this one.
36:58She will respect you a lot more if you grow a pair.
37:03I'm not trying to insult you.
37:06All I'm saying is that...
37:10I know what you're capable of.
37:14And I believe in you.
37:18You really needed to hear that.
37:22Thanks.
37:31Sabotage.
37:32Everyone is capable of it.
37:35But some go about it more ruthlessly than others.
37:40Like the ones who crave vengeance.
37:45Or the ones who hunger for love.
37:50Or the ones who are determined to burn bridges.
37:55And then there are those who simply want something.
37:58Wish Daddy lived here so he could tuck me into...
38:01Something that belongs to someone else.
38:04I'm working on it, Piglet.
38:10Lana's working on it.