- 2 days ago
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TVTranscript
00:07and that's how you play wordle oh my god hi guys i'm rachel feinstein i'm filling in for
00:13hanifa so if you have any like you have tips on how to like judge the the parties and and
00:20um
00:22hanifa would never wear that no this is like my before outfit no uh she has nice things oh no
00:29wait until you see what i brought it's like very high end i'll i'll be wowing them
00:34weird yeah uh hanifa would never say that you know what they were right about you they said
00:41you were toxic twats and you are yeah eat glass eat glass twats oh my god hanifa would say that
00:48you're gonna be perfect welcome come in thank you i'm like weirdly obsessed with both of you
00:59parties they live in room size with two teams of drag queens compete for the prize
01:15hello friends family and chosen family i'm your host murray hill and i'm wearing 40 pairs of spanks right
01:22now and if you don't know what spanks are they're condoms for chubby people tonight two teams of your
01:27favorite drag queens will go head to head to throw dragtastic theme parties for our judges the
01:33judges will be focusing on design and decor food and drink and entertainment and overall lives to
01:39decide which team is greater so let's meet tonight's teams hey y'all my name is simone i am a
01:48drag queen
01:48extraordinaire hey everyone it's gg good model mogul magician i'm just here to up
02:00hey what's up this is ray latrey drag the baddest bitch and i'm your favorite west coast
02:04bitch come to meet the east hello my dear subjects this is your queen jasmine rice
02:09from the house of la beja here in new york city and i don't even know what that means
02:20the root of this is having fun and looking a fool but also looking to head to toe sample size
02:27we have to turn this out hardcore because these west coast bitches i have known forever so you know
02:34their weaknesses uh-huh see if it's why teamed up with her
02:38come on up ladies ladies show yourselves
03:00you look gorgeous thank you very now gg what do you want to accomplish tonight
03:06i kind of just want to like successfully turn on a stove for the first time okay from new york
03:12absolutely not absolutely not absolutely not all right well i hope that you can reach your goal
03:18tonight of turning on a stove all right jasmine what's important to you when you're throwing a
03:24dinner party that i have the medium and stop because you don't know when i cook what's going to give
03:28the run okay all right i can't wait to eat that and run i haven't had any exercise all week
03:34thanks
03:36for laughing at that i appreciate it and of course no dinner party would be complete without a fantastic
03:41theme and here to reveal tonight's welcome expert and the life of the party david burka
03:55hey murray well hello ladies hey i hope you all applied sunscreen and i'm sure you can find some shade
04:04because tonight's theme
04:07is beach blanket bingo oh yes yes this genre showcased beach parties that had style romance
04:16and of course hunky surfers well bring your a-game because the judges will be looking for
04:21food and drink design and decor and entertainment and overall vibe so i can't wait to see you ride
04:28that culinary wave and your cuisine should follow suit bright and spiked summer style beverages
04:33think uh picnic fair like grilled hamburgers or maybe a new take on a hot dog or cookie bars
04:40and if you feel like you need a helping hand don't worry you'll have a handy helper to assist
04:45okay queens you heard the man now's your chance to really impress our judges because if you do you'll
04:53take home a hefty haul of prizes like these a baby bottle full of babies a nut sack
05:00cup tape but day davis a bathtub of butter oh de harry styles 55 gallons of lube a high five
05:09from
05:09bianca del rio herself all the crackers you can carry and the grandest prize of them all the glorious
05:16golden crater because one team is great but the other is greater
05:25queens are you ready to get this party started yes start the clock and release the queens
05:31oh
05:33have fun you have 90 minutes to finish the challenge
05:36follow gg follow serve the rice all you can eat
05:40all right all right all right what is that
05:49it's salt it's it's all for a theme yeah what are we we have to are we cooking we're cooking
05:55we're decorating we're vibing
05:59okay wait so beige blanket bingo home so beach blanket bingo was a very popular theme
06:09in the 1960s all of these really famous movies of surfer kids on the beach having a fun picnic party
06:15to our malibu dream house on the beach yeah yeah that's cute i think that's cute i feel like that's
06:22yeah oh oh chic feeling very spacey i'm looking very spacey right now which is crazy so why don't we
06:30do this on mars the out of this planet we are already out of this world let's set them now
06:36teleport me to mars the space is giving um uh uh blanche chi chi good and simone are so hot
06:45right
06:45now in the fashion world they're hitting the runways of paris new york fashion week everything's just
06:51like neutral i know it's really great to see drag queens crossing over to mainstream like pink pink
06:57pink pink like pink everything all pink pink pink pink because it's uh mars we see planets like blue
07:03light kind of a moment like neon purple light blowing the light raya and jasmine raya auditioned for
07:10american idol the second season so she's a singer anything like crazy object that you wouldn't find at a
07:15beach party we should bring it jasmine was a juilliard yes juilliard grad what for opera performance
07:24you know what i love cheese you know what i love cake cheese cake and then you know what we
07:30should
07:30color it i have never done that so we're gonna do some burgers super easy on a grill it seems
07:36very beachy
07:36french fries well i'm infamous for my margaritas shut up tequila based you know what i don't drink but i
07:45do swallow and i love a slushie so it's a slushie oh i love slushies you think of malleable you
07:51think of
07:51the rich the frou-frou the wee wee the decor and everything is but then the food is trailer arkansas
07:59oh bring it back bring it back to the roots bring it back to the roots like we're barbecuing or
08:03we're
08:04barbecue burgers hot dogs coleslaw like a pink noodle pink mac and cheese you know those pickles
08:12when they have an alcohol at the truck stop truck stop a truck stop pickle a truck stop pickle and
08:18i
08:18personally think we should put some pink lemonade margaritas in there oh my god we're going to be
08:23so we're going to be and so will them gorgeous i brought the cool i think i think we got
08:30enough
08:31stuff yeah yeah all that work i'm gonna go ahead and need a little break yeah hurry
08:36i feel like we need a helper raya
08:43we're doing a beach party in mars do you know where mars is thank god you are pretty such a
08:52clumsy girl
08:53oh um right over here with that come on up in your radio that's kind of chic wow gorgeous how
09:00festive i
09:01can't believe that was just laying on the side of the road imagine hey hey hey hey i'm using it
09:09is it gonna be a while because i just need to no it's not gonna be that long new it's
09:12just from
09:12cooking something it's gonna take a second all right bianca this is taking forever oh a second
09:18oh what is that it's a wig neil it's a wig
09:28ladies one hour to go oh two seconds to go you said 90 minutes inside the
09:35in that time you will need to complete your food and drinks add decor to your rooms and get ready
09:40to
09:40entertain the judges the clock is ticking so grab your meatballs and get to it
09:46so i think we should do drinks first you know i have a trick so any good dinner party darling
09:51all
09:51you gotta do is whisper your intentions into the drink like so tonight me and my sister would look
09:56fabulous and no one will have to be rolled out the front door full throttle is it on will be
10:04the on it
10:06it says on the on button oh we're on unplug it oh yeah wow we are set should we just
10:25pour this in
10:29yeah you suck on a pickle you get a little two shots generous generous generous i cannot wait to
10:36try that well we have to do the mac and cheese okay we got it to a boil no we
10:40didn't that's a boil
10:41is it boiling i don't know are you boiling it's saying back the up your hair is going to deflate
10:47if you get too close put an elbow in it
10:53how do we melt butter i'm the fire angel oh
11:01condensed milk is that condensed milk it looks like regular milk i don't know i don't even know it
11:04let's just move this around are you kidding bitch that wasn't condensed milk this is condensed milk
11:11you know what i like a double load oh bitch this has got to be liquidy as
11:15nine inch springform pant nine inch here you look for the nine inches and i'll i'll do this okay gustavo
11:24now let's fold in the macaroni um there's more water in there than macaroni but we're good
11:31oh i was supposed to drain the water before oh macaroni is about to be real runny this is good
11:41this is the new mac and cheese yeah okay look it's fresh it's fabulous look at that that is so
11:48nasty
11:51i'm gonna make some burgers we have tie-dye burgers shot what in the mold is this and i am
12:00living
12:00cool i i lost an ale i hope it's not in a burger all right queens i got a trivia
12:05question
12:09the first team to shout out the correct answer will get an extra hand from our resident expert
12:15david burka and the other team will get some tips from sue chef david's aunt queens are you ready for
12:23a question yeah what is the biggest ocean in the world atlantic i said it first i said atlantic
12:32No, no, no.
12:32I'm going to close the camera.
12:33What did you say?
12:34I said Atlantic.
12:35She did.
12:35It's wrong.
12:36But it's probably wrong.
12:37Pacific!
12:38Oh!
12:39I don't remember that.
12:41Yeah!
12:42It's time to get a special tip from David.
12:45You're doing this tie-dye cake, right?
12:46Yeah.
12:47OK, so you put both cream cheese in.
12:48There's two in there.
12:49That's a third.
12:50They added milk.
12:51It needs to be thicker.
12:52Oh.
12:53Give me one more.
12:53That's a lot of dairy.
12:55Why don't we do five different colors?
12:57OK.
12:57Add your food coloring.
12:58Just a couple drops per.
13:01I'll mix it.
13:01Yeah, mix it up.
13:03Oh, wow.
13:04That's amazing.
13:06That's really pretty, sis.
13:07Yeah!
13:08This is the blue.
13:09You want the blue?
13:10You're going to add these in as layers.
13:12You're going to take a toothpick or a fork or a knife or something
13:15and swirl them all together.
13:16And make the swirls.
13:17OK, guys.
13:18I believe in you.
13:19You guys are going to do awesome.
13:21I'll see you at the party, all right?
13:22Thank you, David.
13:23You bet.
13:23All the best.
13:24Arigato.
13:25Never fear.
13:26Sue Chef is here.
13:28Uh-oh.
13:29It's Sue Chef.
13:31You want to trap the mac and cheese?
13:32It looks really watery.
13:34I feel like it looks exactly how it's meant to look.
13:37Let's put some salt in it.
13:38This looks like a salt dispenser.
13:40I got it.
13:40That's some pepper.
13:41OK.
13:41Oh, that's more salt.
13:43It's going to be salty.
13:44Let me chop you old lettuce.
13:46Let me chop you old lettuce.
13:48Who the heck is her?
13:49I got it.
13:50I got it.
13:50I got it.
13:51I got it.
13:51I got it.
13:52I got it.
13:52All right.
13:55All right.
13:56All right.
13:57All right.
13:57All right.
13:58All right.
13:58All right.
13:59All right.
13:59Bye, Sue, baby.
14:00Tell your nieces I said hello.
14:03Queens, just five minutes to go.
14:05What are we doing?
14:06Oh, my God.
14:07Sense.
14:10Turn the hot dogs, flip those a little bit.
14:13You got to put glitter on top.
14:15Yeah.
14:15You know what?
14:16I like it crisp, funky outside.
14:19We have to win this set.
14:22We're winning.
14:23Where do you keep buns in a kitchen, huh?
14:26Gustavo!
14:27Queens, you must be inside your dining room when the curtains are closed.
14:31All right.
14:32Why are you running?
14:33Is there a timer?
14:33And they are closing in 30 seconds.
14:37Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
14:38Where's the microwave?
14:40Oh, my God.
14:40There's something in your mask.
14:42Oh, my God.
14:43We need buns!
14:47Oh, my God.
14:48No!
14:49Is this edible?
14:51Where's the pickle juice?
14:52Oh, my God.
14:52Something is closing.
14:54It's a tequila.
14:54It's a tequila.
14:55The french fries.
14:56You got the french fries.
14:57Get the hot grill.
14:58Seven.
15:00Six.
15:00Where's the mayo?
15:02We got cheeseburger.
15:03Four.
15:04No!
15:05Three.
15:05Pickle juice.
15:06No!
15:07One!
15:08No!
15:09Time's up, queens!
15:11Woo!
15:12My full ass.
15:14What a chef show.
15:16Wow, that was wild.
15:18Time for these queens to grab their SPF and get ready to impress the judges.
15:22You know what time it is.
15:23Let's party!
15:29Drag me to dinner!
15:32You're watching Drag Me to Dinner on Hulu, the show that makes you say, huh?
15:37We're about to head to our first beach blanket bing-ho party.
15:41But before we do, let's meet our judges.
15:44Tonight, we have a special guest judger, comedian, actress, and my pal, Rachel Feinstein.
15:52Welcome to the party, Rachel!
15:53Oh, thank you.
15:54I love party.
15:54I come from a long line of partiers.
15:56My great-grandmother, she threw an impeccable soiree.
15:59She used to say, it's not a party unless there's blowin' hookers.
16:02All right, you're gonna fit in just great.
16:03All right, our next judger should be wearing a mask, not because of COVID, because she's
16:08ugly.
16:10Bianca Del Rio!
16:11Oh, Murray!
16:13That was rude.
16:14I didn't, you wrote that.
16:15Oh, yeah.
16:17Awkward.
16:19And our final judger is a father, a husband, and he risks his life every day eating questionable
16:25cooking.
16:25It's Neil Patrick Harris!
16:28Thanks, Murray.
16:28I'm so excited for this show's theme that I even put on my SPF.
16:32I'm going to have showbiz.
16:33Thank you so much, Neil.
16:34All right, now go meet David backstage.
16:36Come on, we'll see you in a minute.
16:37Get out of here.
16:37Get out of here.
16:38Come on, get out of here.
16:38I'll show you around.
16:41Now it's time to see what our queens have in store for the judges.
16:44This is Gigi Goode and Simone in Malibu Barbecue.
17:04This hurricane is crazy.
17:06Isn't it crazy?
17:07My God.
17:09Is it almost dinner tonight?
17:10Is it?
17:11Wind stop.
17:15Take a look at this.
17:17Look at what we done did.
17:18Oh, no.
17:19What are we going to do?
17:20Oh, God.
17:21Oh, my goodness.
17:23Welcome to our home.
17:25Welcome to our home.
17:26Oh, my gosh.
17:31Thank you all so much for coming to our beach dinner.
17:35Don't let me hit the table.
17:40So I don't know if you're familiar with the cuisine.
17:42Yeah, we've prepared a lovely meal for you all.
17:45So, baby.
17:46You got it?
17:48You got it?
17:48You got it?
17:48You got it?
17:49You got it?
17:49You got it?
17:49You got it?
17:49Yeah, I'm good.
17:50Oh, dear.
17:51Don't worry about me.
17:51Oh, okay.
17:52Yeah.
17:52All right.
17:53Okay.
17:53So, anyways.
17:54So, on the end here, we have burgers.
17:56Uh-huh.
17:57Then we have some hot dogs.
17:59Yeah.
18:00Mayonnaise with mustard on a pink bun.
18:02Hey.
18:02So, it's nice and cozy in there.
18:04Wow.
18:04And then we have mac and cheese.
18:06Pink mac and cheese.
18:08Oh.
18:09Y'all ever heard of a truck stop pickle?
18:10No, I've had a pickle at a truck stop, but it was...
18:13What kind of a pickle?
18:14Keep going.
18:14We'll talk.
18:15Uh-huh.
18:16Might have been related.
18:17Might have kind of sister.
18:18I got to try this pink mac and cheese.
18:20Oh, yeah.
18:21We should try everything.
18:22Let's go ahead and pass out some drinks.
18:25This is the pink lemonade margarita, honey.
18:26Oh, yes.
18:28Oh, my goodness.
18:29Uh-oh.
18:29It's a textural sensory experience.
18:31I got it.
18:31You say these are...
18:32Can you explain the truck stop pickle?
18:35Yes, please.
18:36There's a pickle soaked in tequila.
18:39Oh.
18:40Yes.
18:41Simone, I dare you to try one of these truck stop pickles.
18:43You're going to dare me double dog.
18:44Triple dog.
18:45Oh, no.
18:45Triple G, baby.
18:46It's not bad.
18:49No, don't you dare.
18:52Oh, man.
18:52Full throttle.
18:53You got to smell it.
18:53Lick it.
18:54Hit the ukela.
18:55Oh, my stars.
18:55Oh, dear.
18:56Oh, dear.
18:58Oh, my goodness.
18:59Look at the technique.
19:01Usually, I phone it in, but not anymore.
19:03That's good.
19:04I'm so glad you could all make it to our dinner.
19:07That's true.
19:07It's real, really.
19:08We've been planning it for weeks.
19:10I just want to thank God for making this all possible.
19:12Speaking of God, Simone, do you mind saying grace?
19:16Oh, I'm so sorry.
19:18Oh, my God.
19:18We jumped the gun.
19:19As a Jew, I would be honored.
19:21All right, everybody, bow your heads.
19:22Okay.
19:24Our Father, hallowed be thy name.
19:28Thou kingdom come.
19:30Thou wilt be done between these titties and between this ass.
19:35Hallelujah.
19:36Oh, hallelujah.
19:37Hallelujah.
19:39May I just ask a question?
19:40Who is this handsome gentleman behind you?
19:43Oh, please.
19:44She's been asked that question countless times.
19:46Many, many.
19:47Many.
19:47I do get that a lot.
19:49But not this time.
19:49He keeps saying no.
19:51This is the newest edition, limited edition, toy radio doll.
19:57He's here at your disposal.
20:00Ladies, I must say this food is delicious, and I loved your explanation of everything,
20:04but there's one bowl here that I don't quite understand.
20:06Is that chips?
20:07No, baby.
20:08This is the game bowl.
20:09So this game is real simple, y'all.
20:11Sorry.
20:11You have a word on the thing that you're trying to describe, but you can only use one word
20:16to describe the word.
20:17Okay?
20:18All right.
20:18Who should go first?
20:19All right.
20:19Who wants to go first?
20:20I do.
20:20I do.
20:21Okay.
20:21You go.
20:21You pick a word.
20:26I'm doing it with you?
20:27Mm-hmm.
20:27Okay.
20:28Okay.
20:28Okay.
20:28Okay.
20:28Okay.
20:29Okay.
20:29Yeah.
20:29Occasionally, you have to.
20:30You're married.
20:30Who says?
20:33Maybe I'll know how it works.
20:36This is a tough one.
20:38Okay.
20:39Parcel.
20:41What is that?
20:42Is this a known word?
20:44Mm-hmm.
20:45Mm-hmm.
21:02Schlong.
21:04Schlong.
21:05Schlong.
21:08Wiener.
21:08Oh!
21:10What was it?
21:11Sausage.
21:12Oh!
21:13We don't say schlong.
21:14I just had breakfast.
21:16You have to try one more round.
21:17Somebody got to win this game.
21:18Oh.
21:19Oh, shit.
21:20Not the burgers.
21:22Here we go.
21:23Give me a minute to think.
21:24Okay.
21:25Stop looking at me.
21:27I can't help it.
21:28I have to hold you.
21:29I'm so sorry.
21:29Are you stuck in a seat for Gigi and Simone?
21:33Oh, no.
21:33That's so embarrassing.
21:34It's the boobs.
21:35The silicone is leaking.
21:36It's the Arkansas River in this bitch.
21:37It's migrating.
21:38I did.
21:41Fantastic.
21:42Stand by.
21:44I'm going to try.
21:45Stand.
21:47All right, sis.
21:49I'm ready.
21:50Job.
21:52Let me take a sip.
21:54Job.
21:55Wet the whistle.
21:56Mm-hmm.
21:56I know you have it.
21:57I know you have it.
21:58I think it's going to be
21:59blow for 200, Alex.
22:03Yay!
22:06I turned the best.
22:08I'm high.
22:09All right, y'all.
22:10I think that calls for another round.
22:12Sam, let's get the girls together.
22:14Oh, we get another drink.
22:15Oh, we get another drink.
22:16Yes, we get another drink.
22:16Some of you are a little empty.
22:17We need another drink.
22:18I could use another drink.
22:21Oh, my God.
22:24Oh, my God.
22:25Oh, my God.
22:39That was titillating.
22:42Boobs.
22:45The next party is coming right up.
22:49Drag me to dinner.
22:52Bye-bye.
22:53Wait, how much time before the next party?
22:54About eight and a half seconds.
22:56Magic of television.
22:57Watch.
22:59Wait, wait, wait, wait.
23:00Not this again.
23:00No.
23:02Let's just walk.
23:03You know, that was the breast party yet.
23:06You guys, can we just, like, call a car?
23:08I'm, like, actively drunk.
23:10Oh, look, look, we're almost there.
23:12Magic of television.
23:14Let's go.
23:15What the?
23:16I'm going to be in the pictures.
23:21It's time for tonight's second dinner party,
23:23starring Ray-O Latre and Jasmine Rice-LaBeija
23:27in Quiz in Space.
23:40Oh, girl.
23:42Girl, this looks incredible.
23:43Do we have everything together?
23:44I think so.
23:46Wait.
23:47Gustavo.
23:48Gustavo, you know what to do.
23:49Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
23:50Hmm.
23:52Hate to see you leave, but watch her walk away.
23:56Hello.
23:57Oh, wow.
23:59Welcome.
24:00This is out of this world.
24:03We knew you were just at a beach party.
24:05So this time, we're going to Mars, baby.
24:08Okay.
24:09These rings breathe oxygen up to your face,
24:11so we're able to be here on Mars.
24:13Okay.
24:13But where do we sit?
24:14Sit right in front here.
24:16All right.
24:16Right here.
24:17Sit down.
24:17Just like on Earth.
24:18The food here is exactly the same,
24:20except it's a little bit crazy of a color.
24:22French fries.
24:23Take some French fries, children.
24:25Yum, yum, yum.
24:25These are amazing, these fries.
24:27How did they get this color?
24:29They're fermented.
24:33They're fermented.
24:34Yeah.
24:35We also have red pineapples.
24:38Wow.
24:39Oh, yeah.
24:40It's a pH balance.
24:41It's the delicacy here.
24:42Blue.
24:43Will there be an anal probe?
24:45After dinner, that's dessert.
24:47Oh.
24:48We also have sickening cocktails.
24:51Oh.
24:52Are you guys thirsty?
24:53Yeah.
24:54It's hot here.
24:55On Mars, we need to hydrate.
24:57Hydration is very important.
24:58Hydrate before you gyrate.
25:00Mm-hmm.
25:00What do we have?
25:02And this is the infamous margarella.
25:05Oh.
25:05Is it tequila?
25:07It's tequila.
25:08We also have a mocktail.
25:10Mm-hmm.
25:10I'm driving the spaceship home.
25:13He's our designated piece of hot ass.
25:15Goodness.
25:17Jazz, tell them about the burgers.
25:18They are burgers.
25:23Did you make them yourself?
25:25I made them.
25:25She didn't do s***.
25:26I made them.
25:27That is not true.
25:28You didn't do nothing with the burgers.
25:29I was there.
25:30Well, it looks like hostility is alive and well here on Mars.
25:34Well, you know.
25:35Oh, yes.
25:36Sickening cocktails.
25:36Do anyone of you guys want to try the burger?
25:38Gustavo.
25:39Yes.
25:40Can you ba-ba-ba-ba?
25:42Oh, you guys speak a new language.
25:44Oh, yeah.
25:44Can we hear it again?
25:46Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
25:47And what does that mean?
25:49You don't want to know.
25:50Oh, it is.
25:51It's naughty.
25:52I love Mars.
25:53I love these little gay pride burgers.
25:55Woo!
25:56Oh, um.
25:57Ba-ba-boop-ba-ba-boop-ba.
25:59Ta-da-da-da.
26:00Oh!
26:04Let's not do that for sound.
26:05Sorry.
26:06It's probably better that we don't do that.
26:08Sorry.
26:09Are you nervous, Bianca?
26:10Why are you so finicky?
26:12You're nervous.
26:12This must be the only place with an arena you haven't sold out.
26:15Wow.
26:17Ooh, let's do a toast.
26:18Let's do our first cheers on Mars.
26:20Right, I'll do it.
26:21Do it.
26:30Cheers.
26:32Well said.
26:33What is this in front of us?
26:35This is the main chorus.
26:36This is cheesecake.
26:39This is the main chorus?
26:40It's Mars.
26:41This is actually the pie that the founding fathers ate right before they wrote the Declaration of Independence.
26:46And it was Biden.
26:46The Mars Declaration of Independence?
26:48Yeah.
26:49Exactly.
26:50Tell us a little bit about the history of Mars Independence.
26:52Well, the main thing about Mars was they wanted a place where the whores could rest.
26:56They love desserts as main courses.
26:57Am I wrong?
26:59Yes, and I'm so glad you brought that up because Julia Child, she is my daughter's godmother, so she taught
27:06me how to bake.
27:08And I was, look, I didn't make this cake, but I was consulted at every step.
27:12This is a perfect segue, you guys.
27:15Somebody save it.
27:16Tell us about our main course.
27:17Well, it's made of cheese, cream cheese, condensed milk, graham crackers, lemon juice, vanilla extracts.
27:29Boom.
27:29Bam, we did that.
27:30Gustavo, can you?
27:33Okay, I'll take a double helping of your pie, Gustavo.
27:36Oh, wow, that's runny.
27:38It just looks absolutely awful.
27:41It's delicious, though.
27:43Mm-hmm.
27:44It's a mess, like the Mars Constitution.
27:48Whoa, whoa.
27:49What is that?
27:51It's the main course.
27:53It had dairy.
27:54Oh, no.
27:55It's a meteor shower.
27:57Whoa.
27:58It's showtime.
28:01Stick it in.
28:03Stick it in.
28:18Don't you know this?
28:19Dragging you to dinner on the prime time.
28:21Chas and Ray are in the spotlight.
28:22Are you ready?
28:23Because I'm spitting bars.
28:24Now shake that ass on the beach in Mars.
28:26Oh.
28:39Yeah!
28:40Wow!
28:42Yes!
28:43I told you Mercury was in retrograde.
28:46I annihilated this chair.
28:48Two parties.
28:50One winner.
28:50Find out who next.
28:53Drag me to dinner.
28:58Let's get judgy.
28:59Okay, kids.
29:00You went to some wild parties tonight.
29:02Our first party was from Gigi and Simone.
29:05Neil, did you have fun at the party?
29:06I walked into this party and I thought,
29:08I'm not sure about this.
29:10I saw these ginormous boobs.
29:14I mean, hooters, but with 47 O's.
29:18Like, hooters.
29:21The sound guys kept having to go in and adjust their mics.
29:24The game that we played is a party game we play at our actual house.
29:28I thought the fact that everything was pink was cute, but kind of the food wasn't delicious.
29:35I don't know if it lived up to my expectations.
29:37Their signature dish was a pink mac and cheese.
29:40The macaroni was very mushy and there wasn't much cheese.
29:44It was a lot of sauce.
29:45A truck stop pickle, not so great to me.
29:49It might be a southern delicacy.
29:51What was it like when they were there cooking?
29:53We heard Gigi say, how do you know when the water's boiling?
29:57Well, to be fair, that's a tricky question.
29:59That is a trick.
30:00It is a tricky question.
30:02Was it a one hit wonder?
30:03Was it a two tit wonder?
30:05I don't know.
30:08Two tit wonder, I said.
30:09Our kids are here.
30:10Yeah, gotcha.
30:11They're embarrassed as usual.
30:12Oh, they're taking the kids.
30:17Hold, hold, get the kids out of here.
30:18Take the kids.
30:19Get Neil and David's twins out of here.
30:21All right, Rachel, what did you think of the Malibu party?
30:24It was fascinating.
30:25A hostile amount of cleavage.
30:27I'll call, I'll say it like it was hostile.
30:29The macaroni salad was radioactive.
30:32Just, I didn't expect as much chemicals.
30:35It was a cocktail of chemicals.
30:37And I learned some things.
30:38I don't know what they were.
30:39I'm too s***-faced.
30:40Welcome to the show.
30:42Oh, Rachel's my kind of gal.
30:44Bianca, you are a fashion icon in Palm Springs.
30:48I'm also young in Palm Springs.
30:52Were you able to connect with their personalities?
30:58Listen, I was a little distracted, I'm not going to lie.
31:01Because I walked in the room and there were two boobs, David and Neil.
31:05And in it, I thought, I want to see these tits together.
31:09And let's be real, Barbie, Malibu, party, barbecue.
31:14This was all we needed.
31:15All right, we were at a beach party and then we saw the queens in space with Raya and Jasmine.
31:22I thought that the entertainment was crazy, Mars, bazaar.
31:29We had a classical operatic soprano singing high notes while another queen was rapping old school, 80s rap style.
31:41I wasn't expecting a lot and I wound up enjoying it a lot more than I thought.
31:46The little gay rainbow fries, delicious.
31:48I enjoyed it.
31:49I've got to say, it was better than I expected.
31:50All right, David, we saw a lot of spaced out alien food.
31:54Did you like it?
31:55What did you think?
31:55The main course was the burgers and the french fries.
31:58Their signature dish of making the cheesecake fell a little flat.
32:03I was with them.
32:05Or Sue was with them.
32:07No, I was with them.
32:08Oh, my God.
32:09It's almost like you're acting like you have different personalities.
32:13I was with them when they were doing the cheesecake.
32:15And instead of putting in the second container of cream cheese, they put in milk.
32:20So that's why it didn't set.
32:23Let me tell you, that pie, I would slam that in my face all over again.
32:26Look, they took us somewhere, you know, uh...
32:29Someplace that you learned a lot about yourself.
32:32There was a low-grade depression to that cheesecake.
32:34All right, let's be honest.
32:35I felt soiled somehow.
32:37All right, gang.
32:37Well, you went to Malibu and you went to Mars.
32:41Where do you think you're going to land now?
32:45Hollywood.
32:46Not with this gig.
32:48Oh, my God.
32:48Went to Neva back.
32:53You know what, Mary, I don't know what...
32:54We're out of time.
32:55The f*** off now.
32:56Audiobook is talking back.
32:57Here we go.
32:58Go ahead.
32:59Oh, my God.
33:00We're actually finally about to find out who won.
33:03What a night.
33:05Ladies, thank you for throwing fake dinner parties.
33:08I cannot believe we traveled from a fake beach to fake Mars in just one hour.
33:13Truly a miracle.
33:15Oh, isn't it?
33:15And now, the queens who threw the grooviest dinner party of the night are...
33:29Gigi and Simone!
33:32Oh!
33:35Big stuff.
33:37That's what's rigged.
33:39No, recount.
33:41Recount.
33:42Don't worry about it.
33:43Don't worry about it.
33:43Don't worry about it.
33:44Congratulations, queens.
33:46You worked hard for the win, and it paid off.
33:49You're leaving with the glorious golden greater.
33:52Ooh!
33:53Wow.
33:54Wow.
33:55How does it feel?
33:56Oh, my God.
33:57Bubalicious.
33:59And how do you feel?
34:00Extra large.
34:03It's time to head to our exclusive press tent where a group of millennials are standing by with their phones.
34:09All right, ladies, beat it.
34:10Millennials.
34:11Let's go.
34:11Millennials.
34:11Oh, let's go.
34:13Millennials.
34:15Ladies, we took you to Mars.
34:17Do you know how expensive that trip was?
34:20All right.
34:20Well, ladies, I know I can't change the outcome, but I can help you bring sand to your own beach.
34:26That's right.
34:26Your handy helper is in your dining room waiting to play with you.
34:30Oh.
34:31Go ahead, ladies.
34:31Enjoy.
34:33Let me play with your bag.
34:36Thank you for joining our beach party tonight.
34:39I've been your host, Murray Hill.
34:41It's been an out-of-sight night.
34:43Now get out of my sight.
34:44Good night.
34:57Exfoliate with the sand.
34:58Exfoliate with the sand.
35:01What am I?
35:02Chopped liver?
35:03There we go.
35:04It's more like kidney.
35:06Oh.
35:06You want to watch another episode?
35:08No problem.
35:09I got you.