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TVTranscript
00:06.
00:07Yes, yes.
00:07What's up Vivi?
00:09Everywhere.
00:10Viv, Viv, Viv, Viv, Viv.
00:12To win a challenge and a lip sync in America on the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race feels so
00:17good.
00:17I feel like I finally arrived in the legendary Legends Club, and I didn't have to suck anyone's dick to
00:22get in it.
00:23Congrats Viv on your first star.
00:26Yes.
00:26Congrats.
00:28But also congrats to you Jinx on your second win even though you don't have anything to show for it
00:33Now you know how it feels. If a queen wins a challenge and has nothing to show for it, did
00:38she really win the challenge?
00:40I want to apologize
00:42This would have been your second star
00:45But no one has two stars yet. Yeah, but there are two people without a star. I know
00:50For fuck's sake. I want a star. I came here to win something
00:55This competition is very tough. Each of us really set the bar for the seasons that we were in
01:01We were the coolest girl in the competition then but now here you are with all the other cool chicks
01:09Salty, she mad
01:11Yo, you got tissues took to your shoe. Apparently, I'm just a shitty queen
01:19I cannot believe that this shriveling little hookah blocked me. Hi Vivian
01:25I'm so hurt. I'm gonna get her. Oh, I'm gonna get her. Oh, it's gonna taste so good
01:32I'm gonna give her you were the next option in fairness with a win, but not a block
01:37Not the only one
01:44How does it feel money to join the platinum plunger sisterhood um
01:51Did you learn anything? Is there an advantage?
01:55Monet is finally blocked so she now knows that I completely
02:00Made up the secret of the platinum plunger to mess with these girls
02:04So I'm looking at Monet like let's try and keep this going
02:07I
02:08Will say with more information you play the game smarter fuck
02:13Game on can somebody just plunge me I
02:16I mean you don't communicate telepathically with your girlfriends
02:21Since we're sharing and being honest, I was thinking of blocking someone else
02:30However that person was not up for a block. Oh
02:34Oh, you're gonna double black me. I've got my eyes on the prize and you are one of the most
02:39talented Queens here
02:40That's very fair. Thank you for being honest duly noted the Vivian. Let's get up out of this
02:47Mama, bye. I don't hold grudges per se, but my memory is long. I don't drink anymore. So I remember
02:54everything
02:57How do you think that like that's gonna fare if she ever gets the opportunity to block you
03:02Well, she's not gonna have a kiss
03:08It's a competition and Jinx is the one that is most in my lane of comedy and theater and acting
03:12and so of course I want to beat Jinx
03:14Get away from me!
03:16And if I've got a blocker week after week, I will and if Jinx and the other girls don't think
03:21it's proper
03:22Well, I do think love
03:27Put that penis away
03:32The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics a cash
03:38prize of
03:39$200,000 and will be crowned Queen of all Queens with extra special guest judge Nikki Glaser
03:47Move all day, break, play the best Jack, Queen, win, Queen, win
04:02So today is a brand new day in the workroom brand new day fresh new day, and that is exactly
04:08what today is. I'm excited
04:09Oh
04:12I had a lot of coffee. I'm sorry
04:17She's already the hair
04:20My fellow Draguets who needs straight A's when a D can make you magna cum loudly
04:28Now give them life and do it proudly
04:34Hello, hello, hello
04:38She was feeling it
04:40My Queens, I believe that children are the future
04:44Teach them well and they will rob you blind
04:48True, true
04:50No, seriously
04:51As drag legends you have a special calling and responsibility
04:55To inspire the children with your charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent
05:00So for this week's maxi challenge you need to write and deliver an uplifting commencement speech
05:07For all the Draguets around the world whether they're getting a PhD an MBA or a beauty license from the
05:15international house of pancake makeup
05:19Knowledge is power so pass it on and I oughta know because I'm the proud recipient of a GED
05:30Hashtag all-star seven now later today you'll workshop your
05:35Jaguation speeches with carson kressley and the shilarious nikki glazer
05:45Monet since you are blocked i'm letting you choose the speaking order
05:52I'll go first vivian will go home
05:56Oh and one more thing this week the top two all-stars will receive two
06:03legendary legend stars
06:05Are you kidding me one to keep and one to give to a fellow queen
06:16Racers start your engines and may the best legend win
06:26Okay boom chaka laka laka
06:31This sounds fun this week our maxi challenge is to write and deliver a draguation commencement speech
06:38Has anyone had to do a real speech in real life before i did in high school a whole like
06:42inspirational
06:43bs about how we needed to legalize pot and it worked it worked it worked i feel like the way
06:49for me to win this challenge is to really
06:51Surprise the judges i want them to laugh with me i want them to cry with me i want them
06:58to give me a star
07:01What are you thinking for your angle a little bit of a cult leader sorceress at the top of a
07:06mountain
07:06Wind blowing through my silver hair
07:08Okay that's my that's the visual yeah i sometimes think of myself as a religious leader a very small religion
07:15But it's a religion nonetheless so my approach in the speech is to play a sorceress a soothsayer
07:21She's kind of a wizard lady hello fairy children of mother earth are you looking at what i'm writing no
07:33You want to come out of the gate swinging doing a conceptual character is very ambitious and it could really
07:43pay off
07:43But let's see if she's got those skills to pay those bills
07:50Trinity is over there sewing she's actually slowing her speech
07:55Sewing her speech she's embroidering it onto her coat
07:58I would have put a mask there look y'all i embroidered my speech
08:04Let me focus you know the work room though much bigger now still is not a conducive writing environment
08:21I have seven loud bitches in here just literally distracting me from every corner
08:28You're giving graduation speeches but your girls aren't getting out of school
08:32That's all we got so we're gonna stop
08:36Yes
08:36Jada ain't you black where's the rhythm
08:41It's a lot available on itunes
08:48I need a thesaurus
08:49I might help sometimes i'm a good thesaurus
08:51I'm a thesaurus rex
08:53You're probably as old as one
08:56Monet what's another word for inhibited
09:00Blocked
09:03Oh my god that's hilarious
09:06I may be blocked but it puts a little extra pep in my step knowing that i get to pick
09:11the order this week
09:12You know what jinx i was thinking about the lineup and i think i'm gonna put you ninth
09:18And with two extra stars on the table to be given away to somebody else
09:22I think i can really use this power to my advantage in this challenge
09:25I have no shame i'm gonna get miss monet a charity star work
09:30Does anyone have someone that they'd like to go
09:31I would prefer to not be first or last i don't know maybe like third i'm not gonna tell you
09:37what to do
09:37But i would prefer to be third
09:39I would like to be in the middle
09:42I think the hard ones are beginning and end
09:44So if you happen to get a legendary star this week and you can give one to someone else i
09:49mean that would just be so
09:51Lovely i'll definitely keep that in mind
09:53You gotta play these bitches like fiddles okay and i i'm like an octopus i'm playing all the fiddles
09:57We are just we are fiddling it's how you play the game
10:00Hope somebody give me a motherfucking star
10:01Which i'm definitely gonna give you one if i win work and if i win i'm gonna do mine to
10:06you yeah thank you
10:12Gather round ladies gather round i think
10:22Okay the order is going to be myself okay second shay third trinity fourth rajah fifth jada
10:32Six evie seven jinx eight the vivian okay
10:38I mean it's awfully petty sounds fair just because i blocked you you're putting me at the end well
10:44You put me wherever you want love i've got a little secret weapon that is going to make me going
10:48last the perfect ending to a perfect graduation
11:00Oh
11:01Oh hello hi legend hello now it's time to workshop my draguation speech with nikki glaser and carson
11:08Kressley hi nikki hi i love nikki glaser i'm a big fan of her type of humor in her comedy
11:14she is so
11:15Savage and she's so funny so it's having her helping us with our speeches perfect
11:20What you say first is going to be the thing that people remember since the first line is so important
11:25What is yours thank you students parents faculty and esteemed guests
11:31That was good so after you say faculty and you do this
11:34Whoever you're insinuating you're blowing that should be the last of the list
11:37So it should be one two wipe your mouth entire football team i don't know whoever it could be
11:41Yes that's fine no that was middle school
11:44You're so precocious
11:46Looking out at all of you i'm not really sure why i was asked to be here maybe it was
11:50because
11:50of my brilliant fashions on season 10 or maybe just all this ass either way today you graduate and
11:56take your fist first real steps out into the world and that's all i have so far you've given
12:01us so much funny and so much sass that a kernel or two of sincerity a little bit of sass
12:08Yes with some inspiration i think or aspirational no it's always going to be that with you yeah
12:15So shay what do you think you should impart in your speech i just started thinking about
12:19my journey in school and i feel like we all look back and we think about the hot popular kids
12:26that
12:26they grow up and they're not as glamorous but i'm here to be like living proof that they are
12:32okay that's a fun angle i was a super femme drama art nerd who was up against this giant society
12:41that
12:41was set up to like not allow me to flourish yeah and then one day i just looked myself in
12:48the mirror
12:49and i said fuck them i'm gonna be the baddest and the gayest and the flounciest and show them that
12:55i
12:55am going places and you're going to see me everywhere one day i love i think that is so
13:01good and then add with a fun little light button to have us laughing on the way out would be
13:05amazing
13:06i'm feeling really encouraged by the feedback i'm getting but now i have to actually finish writing it
13:14okay so set the stage for us and i'm trying to kind of draw on my own personal experiences of
13:20sobriety and addiction okay i may have found the bar before i come up for my speech okay but it's
13:27still inspirational should we go through it yeah sure good afternoon fellow students teachers and
13:33some old faces i really wish i would never have to see again in my life and yes to the
13:39judgmental
13:39bastards in the yearbook who said i was the most likely to become a crackhead and piss my life up
13:44the
13:44wall you were right you're such a fantastic drunk voice i think just take out any superfluous words
13:52yeah not any filler well that what is filler i might try it yeah just tighten it up because
13:58drunk people are not fun to listen to because they get rambly so if you're giving us that character with
14:01tight jokes this could be a really great one two punch all right perfect so i have a lot of
14:06stuff but
14:07i don't know if it's in the right order or maybe what are the beats that you're working with beat
14:11it out for
14:11us hello graduates i'm so honored to be giving a commencement address to such talented people
14:18who are much smarter than me i'm kind of surprised that i would be asked to be one of the
14:23ones to
14:23speak here today being that hooked on phonics didn't work for me and and to be honest i i really
14:30was on hooked on phonics as a kid so yes math english writing i struggled through it all but i'm
14:35okay
14:36with taking the piss out of myself because i'm not the same person as i was when i was struggling
14:40with
14:40that i think there's a lot of inspiration here so much and then i think you're gonna pepper it with
14:45some self-deprecating humor to give us some relief yeah you've got a big heart and a tiny nose use
14:50both
14:51of them i have a tiny nose now that's also a funny bit you know how much you have changed
14:56okay my nose
14:58has changed my ass has changed okay you can't spell tassel without ass don't do a spelling joke around
15:04trinity's did you not hear yes she doesn't know i'm taking it that'll at least be one good joke
15:13hi jinx monsoon what do you have in store for us i have like two different speeches sure give us
15:20the
15:21ideas the first one would be the time i was hit by a car in amsterdam good time luckily i
15:27was so drunk
15:29that i just flopped over the car like a rag doll landed flat on the ground stood back up felt
15:35fine
15:35thought that was a freebie the thesis statement is look both ways don't wait to address your trauma
15:45all right let's hear the next one this one would be called um the time i got a condom lost
15:49inside of me
15:50i really feel like i'm going to connect with this if you don't know what whiskey dick is uh does
15:56the
15:56expression uh pushing rope mean anything to you that's all so strong it's so strong but i think
16:03the first one is very universal yes so good thank you thank you for talking about having a condom stuck
16:08up inside you i thought i was alone yes and you're not no i mean and i'm gonna remove it
16:14yeah finally
16:16so you want to run through it with us absolutely i'm jada essence hall dr jada essence hall because
16:22today that feels right i love that now i know being here i am truly doing the lord's work and
16:28i'm so proud of myself as i'm sure you're all proud of me and then it gets serious part of
16:34your comedy
16:35is your confidence yeah you're so regal and you're so wonderful yeah i'm glad you noticed yes lean into
16:41that because it's funny you can't help but be hilarious your star thank you i'm so excited to see what
16:49one sentence go out and fail fail as much as possible why why when you're worried about succeeding
16:57all the time you limit your experience and you limit what you're allowing yourself to take in whereas
17:01when you do get that really sweet failure it gives you a chance to learn from that mistake that's a
17:08great idea it's so good do you want to run some of the lines um i have i have the
17:12beginnings howdy
17:13all i'm evie oddly and it is my uh uh uh you can just read it seriously like you don't
17:23need to be
17:23i just wrote this five minutes ago i'm not a book yet i'm so sorry please i guess i'm passionate
17:28about
17:28failure i can't wait to see you really eat you're gonna be horrible thank you good luck and do
17:35fuck it up yeah truly eat shit of course there's a greeting at the beginning hello i'm rajah i will
17:44be your uh sorceress soothsaying sage and speaker so you're giving us um rajah as kind of another
17:51character cult leader uh you know tonight i'm here to share some of my wisdom about how we are all
18:00part
18:01of the ebb and flow and that something as vast as the ocean succumbs to the tides of the moon
18:07none of us as humans are exempt so it starts there profound you into it i'm into it um we
18:14can use
18:15some sprinkles of comedy of course there's more coming there's more like i just everything needs
18:20to be faster you know for those who don't understand it might feel a little out of the box but
18:24i think
18:25it's funny i think i have a profound message to give and this could just be my own gemini delusion
18:29but i feel that my presence is enough of a statement on its own even in silence perhaps i'll
18:35win a star this week maybe i hope i'm over it i haven't won a star yet that's outrageous i'm
18:42rooting
18:42for you i can't even peace
18:50i need to die i was gonna hit me with your purse i must say i tried i missed happy
18:56graduation day
18:57today we're getting ready to get on the stage and do our draguation commencement speeches how are you
19:02feeling jada i'm feeling good how are you feeling feeling pretty good i am excited to hopefully inspire
19:06some people out there let's take a taheen shot together have you ever done it before no also give
19:11y'all a little bit of my dry sense of humor okay so this gives you energy yeah i feel
19:17like it does what's
19:18in it just like seasonings i don't know maybe the judges will think it's fantastic and maybe they'll think
19:23like get this thirsty bitch some water i mean i'll try anything okay anal cheers
19:31this is gonna be fun it's like all winners graduation day we just need booze yeah oh my god a
19:38cold glass
19:38of sauvignon blanc please i'm gonna start my own sauvignon blanc line it's gonna be called wine and
19:44complain that's so good i hope you don't feel like i was trying to be shady with your placement at
19:52all
19:52second to last not a memorable spot but if you're good you're good no matter where you are if anything
19:58i'm gonna make sure vivian has her work cut out for you so shady bitches talking about her that
20:04i think it's obvious that the vivian and i share similar talents and abilities and half the time
20:11the vivian's performing and the challenges all i can think is god damn i wish i thought of that
20:16everyone can hear each other better than i thought that's probably why we're becoming
20:24frenemies the vivian how well can you hear me right now
20:31plus the viv basically said she would have blocked me if she had the chance so scary you know
20:38like how does everyone feel about having the power of giving away stars i'm so geeked by this
20:44fucking swiss mode is determined to be the first block girl to get a star while block block block girls
20:49matter i mean there's a couple of queens in here who have stars who have not been blocked yet there
20:56are
20:56yeah huh huh huh what what let's get off my back i don't know what you're talking about i gotta
21:04be in the
21:33talk today
21:34All winners, Michelle Visage.
21:36Now, what's the best piece of advice you've ever gotten?
21:39If it goes in, eventually it has to come out.
21:43Has anything ever not come out?
21:45Only my doctor knows for sure.
21:49Style superstar Carson Kressley, what would you tell your younger self?
21:54Don't worry, my beautiful child.
21:56Cher will do another farewell tour.
21:58Several, actually.
22:01And our extra special guest judge, Nikki Glaser.
22:06Hey, Nikki, do you ever get stage fright?
22:08I don't.
22:09The one time I did, though, was when I had to roast Ann Coulter.
22:12And it wasn't because I was scared to be mean to her.
22:14It was just because I had to share the stage with someone who's so terribly evil.
22:18Have you met Michelle Visage?
22:22This week, we challenged our all-stars to inspire us with draguation speeches.
22:27Racers, start your engines.
22:29And may the best legend win.
22:34From RuPaul's Drag U to all the Draguits around the world, please welcome Monet X Change.
22:44Good morning, afternoon to all the students, parents, and faculty.
22:52It truly is an honor to stand before you here at a dainty 5 foot 12.
22:56But I'm not sure why I was asked to be here today.
23:00Perhaps it was my sickening looks on season 10.
23:04Whoop, whoop.
23:05Or maybe just all this ass.
23:06You know what I'm saying?
23:07Either way, today marks your graduation and a commitment to take your fist.
23:12First, I mean first, first, first real steps out into the world where you'll encounter many situations that will compel
23:18you to ask yourself, am I doing this right?
23:21Did I choose the right career?
23:24Should I have let the entire football team spit roast me again?
23:28Yes, the answer is always yes.
23:31When I graduated college, I can honestly stand here and admit that I was afraid.
23:35I was afraid to let the world at large see me for who I was.
23:38But a wise spirit named Mufasa once said,
23:41Remember who you are, Simba.
23:44Don't be afraid to show the world who you are.
23:47So what you're loud.
23:48So what you stutter.
23:49So what you're poor.
23:51So what you're queer.
23:52When life is giving it to you hard, you stand there, you grit your teeth, sniff some poppers, and you
23:56take it.
23:58Every inch of it.
23:59Condragulations, graduate.
24:01You turned it!
24:06Please welcome, Shea Coulee.
24:10Hello, Draguets.
24:10When I was approached to speak at today's commencement ceremony, my first thought was, avoid cliches.
24:17However, I realized that, like Jeex Monsoon's makeup skills, they're not that bad.
24:23For example, how many of us have been reassured growing up that the popular kids don't mature into popular adults?
24:30Well, I can say that that statement is false.
24:33I was popular then.
24:35And I'm popular now.
24:37But as a young, black, queer, and femme person, it wasn't always easy.
24:42So, one day in the cafeteria, I did the unthinkable.
24:47I walked to the center of the room and sat at the cool kids' table.
24:52Everyone looked at me like I was delusional.
24:54They tried to shade me.
24:55But baby, you can't shade the sun.
24:59Now, I know that this story sounds like some cliche plot from a John Hughes film, but I guarantee you
25:04it's not.
25:05Because I'm black.
25:09In closing, there could be 99 people in a cafeteria that don't believe in you.
25:15But if one person believes in you, then you can be the baddest bitch in school.
25:21And sometimes, that one person is you.
25:29Next, please welcome Trinity the Tough.
25:34Hello, Dragiewicz.
25:35I'm actually kind of surprised that I was asked to speak here today, mostly because Hooked on Phonics didn't work
25:42for me.
25:47Whatever, girl.
25:47It didn't work for me.
25:50When I was in school, I didn't know if I was smart enough.
25:54I didn't think that I was good at anything.
25:56And my grandmother got really, really sick.
25:59And I had to quit school to take care of her.
26:02That prevented me from graduating with my class in high school.
26:07But you do what you have to do for those you love.
26:11Remember that.
26:13I eventually found drag and realized what I was good at.
26:17I may not have walked down with a cap and gown, but girl, I do put the ass in tassel.
26:25Some of you are about to go out and do some amazing things.
26:27Most won't.
26:30But never give up.
26:32Hard work and determination will lead you to maybe do what I did and tie for first on a reality
26:38competition show.
26:40And if the degree that your parents spent thousands of dollars on doesn't work out,
26:45girl, just go down to Mexico and get your ass fat and become a drag queen.
26:48Congratulations.
26:53It is my honor to present Raja.
27:01Greetings, friends.
27:03It is my great honor to be here.
27:05I am aware of your presence.
27:08I am Raja, soothsayer, sorceress, sage, and speaker tonight.
27:17Here are five important pieces of earned wisdom to remember.
27:22One.
27:23Time in this realm will feel rapid and limited.
27:26Grasp every moment and connect always to the ebb and flow, because we're all gonna die.
27:42Fuck till you can't fuck no more.
27:52They are watching.
27:54They know when you're asleep and awake.
27:56They know you purchased poppers from Berlin online.
27:59They know your women's shoe size is really a 15.
28:05Always be kind and good to people, especially if they have money.
28:14Oh, yes, be nice to the poor as well.
28:17One can never be sure if a camera lurks nearby to capture your good deeds.
28:24Last but not least, number five.
28:29Institutions also spells intuitions if you're dyslexic.
28:36A wise soul once said, if you reach for the moon, you'll find yourself amongst the stars.
28:43You'll incinerate and combust passing through the atmosphere.
28:46But yes, stars.
28:50Stay booked.
28:51Stay blessed.
28:53Yes, Raja!
28:56That was so good!
28:58Yes!
28:59Woo!
29:07Welcome back to our Draguation Ceremony.
29:10Next, please welcome Jada Essence Hall.
29:14Well, good evening, bitches.
29:17I am so glad to see that my degrees from Drag U and Trump University are finally being put to
29:25good use.
29:26Now, for most of us, this is as good as it's ever going to fucking get.
29:31But you're all alive.
29:33And this would be extremely awkward if you weren't.
29:38Growing up, I had imagined that life was this perfect set of steps that led to a pathway of success.
29:45But when I turned 30 years old, I felt like such a failure because I had not graduated from high
29:51school.
29:52I didn't go to college.
29:53I didn't have this amazing corporate job or this big, beautiful family.
29:57And I thought that I really missed my chance at success.
30:01But opportunity did knock on my door.
30:04And I found true love, true happiness, and most importantly, success, bitch!
30:09Yes!
30:10Look at me!
30:12And I'm so proud of me, as I'm sure all of you are today.
30:17Hold for applause.
30:23Never believe that it is too late for you to join the party.
30:26And speaking of party, bitch, I gotta get out of here because we got one after this and I'm gonna
30:31head out.
30:32So, look over there!
30:37Please welcome Evie Audley.
30:40Oh, God!
30:46One clap.
30:47I love it.
30:53Now, before we begin, I would really appreciate it if we could take some time to bow our heads and
30:59give praise to the creator through whom all things are possible.
31:05Thank you, RuPaul.
31:07Like, seriously, girl, thanks for signing that check, bitch.
31:11You know, they say money can't buy happiness.
31:14But looking at all these bitches' smiles, it can at least buy you a new grill.
31:19My time competing on Drag Race gave me something more important than any check could ever write, so I feel
31:25it's my duty to pass it on to you.
31:27The gift of failure.
31:30I would like to think that all of my successes in life are really just the fruit of my failures.
31:37For example, I might never have known that I was so damn good at lip syncing if I didn't first
31:43discover how damn bad I am at impersonating Whoopi Goldberg.
31:49Ru tried to warn me.
31:51You in danger, girl!
31:53It's still not there.
31:55So, when you go out into the world, I want you to try hard.
31:58I want you to swing big.
32:00And I want you to fail.
32:03Because it's through these trials and errors that we really learn to become the people we are meant to be.
32:10Good luck.
32:12Fuck it up.
32:13Fuck it up.
32:15Condragulations!
32:20Please welcome Jinx Monsoon.
32:24Hello, and blessed be to the graduating class of whatever year you're watching this on YouTube.
32:32I'm Jinx Monsoon, and it's become very obvious that I thought I was speaking at a different school today.
32:39Okay, so I'm going to salvage as much of this speech as I can.
32:44Double, double, toil and trouble.
32:46No, I think we can skip that part.
32:48Okay.
32:49Hecate, hecate, hecate.
32:50Yeah, none of this works here.
32:52Oh, okay.
32:52Here's something we all can relate to.
32:55One year, I was reluctantly taking a vacation in Amsterdam.
32:59That's going on holiday for you, Viv.
33:02And as I was returning to my hotel after a particularly raucous night out, a car came whipping around the
33:08corner, driving backwards at full speed.
33:10It hit my body like a charging rhino, knocked the joint right out of my hand.
33:15I just flopped over the car like a rag doll, landed flat in the street.
33:18But I stood up, dusted myself off, took a bow, and said, that was a freebie.
33:24I felt completely fine, so I didn't do anything about it.
33:28Now, seven years later, my spine is out of alignment in three different places, and I wake up every morning
33:33feeling like I've been put through a cement mixer.
33:37You see, the body remembers trauma, even if the mind suppresses it.
33:42Some say being born is an act of trauma.
33:46Think of it.
33:46You are ripped out of the ultimate safe space and then thrust into a world full of people who would
33:53just as soon run you down with their car and leave you for dead in the middle of the streets
33:59of Amsterdam.
34:04I implore you to allow yourselves the time to process your trauma.
34:08Do the work today so you can truly enjoy tomorrow.
34:12The grand high witch herself, RuPaul, once told me, we can't forgive our past until we allow ourselves time to
34:21face it.
34:22Or something to that effect.
34:24My memory is mashed potatoes.
34:26I was hit by a fucking car!
34:33Please welcome, the Vivian.
34:36Good afternoon.
34:38First off, let me just apologise to my fellow speaker's bloody dull stories.
34:45I had to have a drink just to stay awake.
34:48But I did come here to share a story with you all about my sobriety journey.
34:56And as you can see, it's going bloody fantastic.
35:01And yes, to the judgmental bastards in the yearbook who said,
35:05I was most likely to become a crackhead and piss my life up the wall.
35:10Congratulations.
35:11You were right.
35:16I can see my old Spanish tutor sat there in the crowd.
35:20Hola, Mr. Cressley.
35:21You know, it's funny.
35:23Mr. Cressley would never give you a good grade, would he?
35:26No matter how many times you noshed him off.
35:29Sorry.
35:30Our little secret.
35:34But let's take a minute to look at these fine speakers this evening.
35:39Jinx Monsoon finished top of her class.
35:42Trinity the Turk finished top of her professor.
35:48And well done, Raja, for finally getting your degree.
35:52Just too bad by the time you get to use it, you'll be dead.
35:58There are many ways in life to get to the top.
36:02Take it from me.
36:03You'll be much more popular if you're a bottom.
36:08And if all else fails, just do what I did.
36:11Find the oldest, richest man you can.
36:14Marry him, then push the bastard down the stairs.
36:18Cheers.
36:28Is she okay?
36:36Category is...
36:38Failed it!
36:39Up first.
36:40Monet exchange.
36:44She's so cagey.
36:46I thought I saw a Monet exchange.
36:49Did she just give us all the bird?
36:54Now, y'all know I would not come out here in some traditional boring veil.
36:57I am giving you a songbird.
36:59It's fashion.
37:00I look expensive.
37:01And baby, guess what?
37:02I smell expensive, too.
37:04Now pluck off.
37:07Che Coulay.
37:08Pleated for her pleasure.
37:10The world accordion to Shea.
37:14I am channeling my grandmother floating through her garden with these gorgeous accordion pleats.
37:21You cannot tell me that I do not look like a legend.
37:24Now I know where in the world Carmen Sandiego is.
37:26She's in Vail, Colorado.
37:30Trinity the Tuck.
37:31She's not high maintenance.
37:33She's just high.
37:36She'd like to say I do.
37:37But she did.
37:38And he's dead.
37:40I feel like the only second wife who married her rich, much older husband who just died and she inherited
37:49it all.
37:51And then she's going to marry his son.
37:53She's going to drag getting those flowers with her veil.
37:57To wear a train like this with all the weight at the end, bitch, I am getting a workout.
38:03How is this wig still on?
38:05Business in the front.
38:07Rose parade in the back.
38:08No, rose butt in the back.
38:11Up next, Raja.
38:13Raja's wearing the latest edition.
38:15This is the Anna Wintour of our discontent.
38:19Voile in French means veil.
38:22See what I did?
38:23I can be a little bit of a maximalist.
38:25If you give me a challenge, I might take it too far and you're going to love it.
38:28Well, she's really got this look covered.
38:30Yeah, she certainly does.
38:32Ted has a tall.
38:34Wow.
38:34She's got this look wrapped up.
38:36It's Spanish and it's fly.
38:39I am giving you some haunted woman that's like deep down at the end of a hallway and I'm just
38:44holding a candle, looking sickening, even if you can't see me fully.
38:47She walks into the club hers first.
38:50Beed-y oddly.
38:52Oh, I think you mean beadly oddly.
38:55Beaded.
38:56I said bead it.
38:59I am serving veils on veils to no avail.
39:03So heavy, but you can't tell because my leg is out and I am pumping it.
39:08Because beading is what?
39:10Fundamental.
39:12Jinx Monsoon.
39:13What's her butterfly net worth?
39:16Lavender.
39:16I hardly know her.
39:18It's a very precarious headdress.
39:21The slightest little breeze throws everything off, but I'm hoping the payoff will be worth it.
39:28Everything's coming up pansies.
39:32I'm the goddess of the spring and I'm in full bloom.
39:35No matter what time of year this is airing.
39:38Dress by Miracle-Gro.
39:42Up next, Vivian.
39:44Oh my God, gagging with a ball or two.
39:46It's by Dolce and G-Bondage.
39:49Oh.
39:51I'm giving you cyber sex doll bride.
39:54I'm supposed to look like I'm in pain.
39:56I am in pain.
39:59Oh, look at, she's the belle of the ball gag.
40:13Welcome, ladies.
40:14Tonight, the top two all-stars of the week will each receive two legendary legend stars.
40:21One to keep and one to give to a fellow queen.
40:25I give to the needy, not the greedy.
40:28Now it's time for the judges' critiques, starting with Monet exchange.
40:34Weep, weep.
40:34I thought your speech was really fun.
40:35The football team spit roast I could relate to.
40:38You're welcome.
40:39Same.
40:40You just nailed the speech, made it so funny.
40:43I was thoroughly impressed.
40:45Thank you, Nikki.
40:45This outfit is iconic.
40:48Iconic.
40:49Thank you, Ru.
40:50It's really beautifully constructed, and it's very drag.
40:53It's fun.
40:53It's got a sense of humor and a great sense of glamour, and it's a great balance of those
40:57two.
40:58So I love this.
40:59Up next, Shea Kool-Aid.
41:02The speech all about kind of how popular you were was hilarious.
41:05That comedy, as a matter of fact, and then you move on, always gets me.
41:09You were so good and so relaxed and comfortable.
41:11It was really, really good.
41:14This look, I think those layers of accordion pleated silk are so gorgeous.
41:19I wanted to wear this as a love letter to my grandmother because some of my fondest
41:24memories were her walking around her garden, cultivating the earth.
41:27That explains everything.
41:29You look so stunning.
41:31Up next, it's Trinity the Tuck.
41:34I'm so excited how well you nailed that phonics joke.
41:37That was an advanced performance of comedy that I want you to know you nailed.
41:41And I did appreciate that you had a heartfelt, vulnerable moment in there as well.
41:45I thought you did a very good job.
41:46This look, you have never looked more gorgeous.
41:48It's like Evita dressed for like a funeral or something.
41:51It's so fun.
41:52I don't know how many cases you took to get here, but they were all filled with trains.
41:56I would like to say that the girls have changed my name to Trinity the Train.
41:59Yeah.
42:02I promise this is the last big train thing.
42:05No, keep it coming.
42:06You are such a star.
42:08Thank you, Trinity.
42:09Up next, it's Raja Gemini.
42:11Our soothsayer coming out in this celestial garb.
42:15I think my favorite line in the whole thing was, we're all going to die.
42:19Whale.
42:20And your speech was such a great departure from the tone that had already been set.
42:24It was just like this character that was like made things light and fun and weird.
42:26I felt like I was talking to someone who was describing a mushroom trip.
42:30This look, I mean, I swear I've seen this in a magazine.
42:34The details on this, even the masthead of the magazine name.
42:38Wow, this French for bail.
42:40Right.
42:40Add points.
42:41Go ahead and add points.
42:44We'll see what we can do.
42:46Jada as his hall.
42:48She's in there.
42:49I think my favorite line was, I'm so proud of me as you all are today.
42:55Your use of bitch throughout, it really is overused a lot of times in comedy.
42:59You use it so perfectly that I didn't look at it as a device.
43:01And you got personal too, and I'm glad you went there.
43:03Tonight, you are definitely veiled it.
43:06I love the Spanishness of it.
43:08The dotted mesh is so pretty and so kind of current.
43:10And now, I love that I can't see you and that I had to like go, I want to know
43:13more.
43:13Like a lingerie burka, and I liked it.
43:18Up next is Evie Oddly.
43:20Ooh, look at that leg.
43:21This look is fantastic.
43:23It's glamorous.
43:23It's sparkly.
43:24You're giving us Angelina Oddly with the exposed leg.
43:27All of that beating on that kind of Aztec motif.
43:30So chic, so fabulous.
43:32Your speech, you did a pratfall, which I appreciate.
43:34You got up and you left the cart.
43:35So you did the whole thing without carts.
43:37That's an extra, like, good job for that.
43:39Your speech struck a chord with me because I have failed way more than I have succeeded.
43:45But that's what brought me here today.
43:46I'm going to keep failing my way towards your position.
43:51Up next, it's Jinx Monsoon.
43:54Who said that?
43:56This look veiled it.
43:58Oh, this is so beautiful.
43:59You've got a garden growing out of your body.
44:03And that butterfly illusion of them holding up your veil, it's magic and enchanted.
44:07This is just a gorgeous look.
44:09Your character in the draguation speech was hilarious.
44:11She started out the wrong school.
44:12It was just funny and smart and the way Jinx does things.
44:15I'm so grateful you told that story because it not only literally struck me like the car,
44:19but it, like, figuratively, I get it.
44:22Like, that's an important message and it was very clear.
44:23So great job.
44:24Now, this may be a good opportunity to tell you that that was probably me behind the wheel
44:30of that car.
44:36Up next, the Vivian.
44:38The Vivian.
44:39Your graduation speech, it wasn't over the top.
44:41You didn't, like, ruin the bit by being too sloppy.
44:44You're a great comedic actress.
44:44And you spent the entire time in character.
44:46Even when the other queens were giving their speeches, you were back in your chair with
44:49your sunglasses on and your martini glass.
44:51This look tonight, I loved the ball gag.
44:54I love the bondage.
44:56I love the color you chose.
44:57This look, I just love.
44:58You were like Ariel caught in a fishnet and I loved it.
45:01Thank you, ladies.
45:02I think we've heard enough.
45:04Before you untuck in the workroom, there's someone I want you to meet.
45:10Please, give a warm drag race welcome to the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.
45:16Oh, my gosh!
45:18Oh, my gosh!
45:21Welcome back.
45:23My honor to be here to say to all of you how proud we all are of you.
45:28Thank you for the joy and beauty you bring to the world.
45:32Aw.
45:33Your freedom of expression of yourselves in drag is what America is all about.
45:37I say that all the time to my friends in drag.
45:43Now, Speaker Pelosi, with all the challenges facing our nation, what words of wisdom do
45:49you have for us?
45:50Well, the single most important thing I can say is to vote.
45:53With the midterm elections coming up, it's very important for people to make their voices
45:57and their vote heard.
45:59Well, thank you so much for the work you've done and the work you continue to do tirelessly
46:05for our freedom.
46:06Your tenacity is something that we all look up to.
46:10We throw the word masterclass around here all the time, but that sarcastic shady clap you
46:15do was fucking epic.
46:17It was completely unintentional.
46:21We have prayers in our hearts to keep you strong.
46:24Well, thank you for that.
46:25May God bless America.
46:27Can I get an amen?
46:29Amen!
46:30Thank you, Madam Speaker!
46:32Thank you!
46:35All right.
46:36Now, just between us girlfriends, who are the queens you are most passionate about this
46:40week?
46:41Shea Coulee blew me away with the graduation speech.
46:44So funny, so confident, so many great jokes.
46:46I was popular then, and I'm popular now.
46:50And the way she did it was so calm and cool, I felt totally safe and totally at ease watching
46:55her.
46:55Her runway look tonight with all the layers of the accordion pleading, I thought it was
46:58really fun, really fashion, really chic.
47:00You know, when I watched The Vev, I was sold from the second she got out there, and I just
47:04thought it was so different than everyone else's.
47:05When she said she was going to do a drunk character for the entire bit, I think we were both
47:09kind
47:09of like, ooh, it could just be like cloying or something and not play.
47:12But it all worked.
47:13I didn't take one note because I was so engrossed in her performance.
47:16I wanted more.
47:17It was that good.
47:19Cheers!
47:21But her runway look.
47:22I love the juxtaposition of that beautiful blue and S&M kind of feel.
47:27She looked spectacular.
47:28Really?
47:29You talk about Veiled in.
47:30Jinx has come a very long way with her fashions, as we know.
47:33The illusion of the monarchs holding up the veil in the back, the way the beautiful lavender
47:38gown fit her, it was just so stunning, and her speech was so wonderfully executed.
47:44To the graduating class of whatever year you're watching this on YouTube.
47:48There were jokes, there was poignancy, and she brought light to trauma while still addressing
47:54trauma.
47:54That's not an easy thing to do.
47:56We were just in it with her.
47:57It was so effective, and what great wisdom.
48:00That's a home run for me.
48:01I hate to use a football reference.
48:03This was also such a strong night for Raja.
48:06Yes, and I love that she approached it.
48:09We're all gonna die.
48:11And it was just very funny, and it was layers upon layers of jokes.
48:15One of the best performances of the night by far.
48:18And then the magazine look.
48:19I'll never forget it.
48:20It really, honestly, like, made me jaw drop.
48:23There's nothing more perfect for her than what she did tonight.
48:26It was glamorous.
48:27It was cheeky.
48:27It was smart.
48:28It was what drag's supposed to be.
48:30Just, I'm just so impressed with all of these, I'm not gonna call them kids, they're people,
48:33but, God, they know what they're talking about.
48:36Silence.
48:36I've made my decision.
48:38Bring back my legends.
48:41Welcome back, ladies.
48:43Based on your draguation speeches and your veiled runway presentations, I've made some decisions.
48:50The top two All-Stars of the Week are...
48:58Jinx Monsoon and Raja.
49:03I am elated.
49:07Condragulations.
49:09You've each earned two Legendary Legend Stars.
49:14One to keep and one star to give away.
49:18Jinx and Raja.
49:20All of the other six queens are eligible to receive your Legendary Legend Star.
49:27Think carefully.
49:29And you will gift your stars at the beginning of next week.
49:34Oh.
49:35So y'all better act right.
49:37Ladies, the rest of you may take a seat.
49:43I love you.
49:45Two legends stand before me.
49:49Jinx and Raja.
49:52This is your chance to impress me, win $10,000, and earn the power to block one of your fellow
50:01queens from receiving a Legendary Legend Star next week.
50:07The time has come for you to lip-sync for your legacy.
50:17Good luck and don't fuck it up.
50:26Black, white, ebony, all sound good to me.
50:30Two-tone recipe, got good chemistry.
50:33J.F. Kennedy's kiss for the celebrities.
50:36Don't matter to me.
50:38Because I like everything you can greet my lover.
50:41Because love looks better in color.
50:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
50:45Woo!
50:46Big, big energy.
50:48Taste like collard greens.
50:50Big-ass candy cake.
50:51Hey, happy days.
50:53Bitch, don't label me.
50:55I'll be famously.
50:56Nobody safe.
50:57Nobody.
50:57You and you and you and you and you can be my lover.
51:01Because love looks better in color.
51:04Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:06Shut up.
51:07Oh, what a color, babe.
51:09Love looks better.
51:11Love, love looks better.
51:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:14Rainbows and shit.
51:16Ooh.
51:17If I turn a teeth and you turn to hold me, I'ma tell your mama.
51:24Call me, call me, call me, call me.
51:27Call me, call me, call me, call me.
51:31Call me, call me, call me, call me.
51:33Yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:34You can be my lover.
51:36Because love looks better in color.
51:39Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
51:41It's darker than the puffers.
51:42But love looks better in color.
51:46Woo!
51:54Ladies.
51:56I've made my decision.
52:03Jinx, Max Hoot.
52:04Congratulations.
52:06You're a winner, baby.
52:08You've won a cash tip of $10,000.
52:12Raja.
52:13You are free to slay another day.
52:17You may step to the back of the stage.
52:24Queens, please join Jinx on the main stage.
52:31Jinx Monsoon, with great power comes great responsibility.
52:36Using the platinum plunger, show us which queen you've chosen to block.
52:48Nice to see you, Evie.
52:49Don't you dare.
52:50Jada, lovely as always.
52:53Shady cool lady.
52:55I don't know who to block.
52:58That's what gives me anxiety.
53:01Also, I'm just riddled with anxiety.
53:04In general.
53:11I hope you take this as the compliment I mean it as.
53:16You're blocked.
53:17Well, you got me, girl.
53:22The Vivian.
53:24Next week, you can compete and even win.
53:27But Jinx has blocked you from earning...
53:33Contragulations, ladies.
53:35And remember, if you can't love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?
53:39Can I get an amen up in her?
53:41Amen.
53:42All right, now let the music play.