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TVTranscript
00:12I won the ball challenge, knocked it out of the park, and turned the lip sync out, proving
00:19once again that I'm not only pretty, baby, I like to kick ass, too.
00:23Wah!
00:24Ah!
00:25Tea.
00:27Congratulations!
00:31$10,000 richer, bitch!
00:34Well done, Queen.
00:35It feels really good to get that, like, vindication that, like, girl, you're that girl.
00:39Is that the right word?
00:40Validation.
00:42Validation.
00:42Valid, valedictorian?
00:44Yeah.
00:46Validation?
00:47What the fuck is vindication?
00:48Revenge.
00:49Revenge.
00:51Motherfucker.
00:52Trinity, you've been top two twice.
00:55How does it feel to, like, have one star in a place where you could have had two?
00:59I mean, I'm just so glad I finally got one star.
01:03Yes!
01:04And you're one step closer to getting the $200,000.
01:06Yeah.
01:07I finally got my legendary legend star, although I could have had two.
01:12Thank you, Shay.
01:17Oh, my God.
01:19Oh, my God.
01:21Well, itsy, well, itsy, well, itsy.
01:24Well, hello, Jada.
01:26Hi!
01:27Should we have a little chat?
01:30Welcome to the plunger circle.
01:32All the way back from plungelands, yeah.
01:34I felt like when you stood on the stage and said, y'all just know that this is my only
01:39weakness in the competition.
01:40At that moment, I thought of that.
01:41I thought of that.
01:42I thought of that.
01:42This bitch is right, so.
01:45I love you.
01:46Don't worry.
01:47Don't worry.
01:47I love you.
01:48Don't worry.
01:49I'm not going to hold it against you unless I win next week.
01:54Because there's no chance of me being the first one with two stars.
01:59But I will say, it is nice to finally know the secret of the plunger.
02:03Oh, my God.
02:04Because I hate being left out of a secret.
02:06What is this?
02:07Sharon.
02:07What's the secret?
02:08Yeah.
02:08It's a plunger secret.
02:10You have to hold the plunger up to your ear, but it only speaks to the one it was handed
02:14to.
02:15As Rue says, all will be revealed.
02:18Shut up.
02:20Well, whatever the challenge is next week.
02:22I want it.
02:23I will be going in guns blazing.
02:24I'm looking around and there's many a queen with a star now, and I'm not one of them.
02:28And to get to this point in the competition and not have a star, kind of is a kick in
02:33the
02:34ghoulies, if you know what I'm saying.
02:37Shit's going to hit the fan very, very soon.
02:39I would like to have something shiny on my chest before it does.
02:42Me too.
02:43I would do anything to get this star, as long as it wasn't illegal.
02:48Fuck it.
02:48Not winning is so out of my character.
02:51I know how shitty and bougie that sounds, but it's just not.
02:55I want a legendary legend star.
03:00It's all fun and games until someone loses a knife.
03:03Yes.
03:03Oh.
03:06The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars receives a one-year supply of Anastasia Beverly Hills
03:11cosmetics, a cash prize of $200,000, and will be crowned queen of all queens with extra
03:19special guest judge, Jeffrey Boyer Chapman.
03:23RuPaul's Drag Race made the best check we win.
03:26Check we win.
03:56The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
03:56the winner of RuPaul's Drag Race
03:56stars in a room of eight drag queens.
04:00And guess who's blocked in the house?
04:02Shit, shit, shit.
04:05Jinx, how does it feel to be part of the plunger circle?
04:08I think we need a better name than that,
04:10plunger circle.
04:11Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
04:12Everybody who has got a star has been blocked but this bitch.
04:17Uh-huh.
04:19Girl, no, no, Jada, no.
04:23Jada, why are you trying to start dropping real bad?
04:25I'm just thinking out loud.
04:27There's five stars and two that have not been blocked.
04:31Well, I just got my star, but give me some time.
04:33Yeah, let me enjoy it.
04:35Hide it hot, meet the kettle.
04:36Okay.
04:40She's all ready to have hers.
04:43My all-stars, there once were eight queens,
04:46non-beginners, who established themselves all as winners.
04:51Then one day a witch said, are you cinched, bitch?
04:54Then she vanished, like the boobs that were in her.
04:59Is that a limerick?
05:01Was that a limerick?
05:01So you didn't know what validation means?
05:04But was that a limerick?
05:05I think it was a limerick.
05:06It was a limerick.
05:07Oh, baby!
05:08It must be the star, bitch!
05:11Hello, hello, hello!
05:13Oh, hey!
05:15What?
05:16Oh, what?
05:18I feel so short.
05:20My queens.
05:22You know, as queer people, we learn at an early age
05:25that the stories we're told aren't always true.
05:30And we spend the rest of our lives trying to set the record
05:34straight, or at least straight acting.
05:37For this week's Maxi Challenge, you need to improv your way through the
05:42enchanted TV court show, Fairytale Justice.
05:46Oh, no!
05:48Yes, with Judge Michelle Visage presiding.
05:52Thank you!
05:53Spoiler alert, I hear she could be a real witch.
05:58Hashtag All-Star 7.
06:00Now, working in two teams, you'll transform into storybook characters
06:04to re-litigate infamous fairytale miscarriages of justice.
06:09Now, Jada and Trinity, you were last week's top two All-Stars,
06:14so you are captains, and you'll choose your teams.
06:18Jada, who do you pick first?
06:20I plunged the bitch, but I have to say jinx.
06:22For the very same reason I plunged her.
06:25All right, Trinity.
06:26Shady Kool-Aid-y.
06:27Hey.
06:29Motherfucking Monet.
06:31Can I get a spot of tea, the bib?
06:36That leaves Raja and Evie.
06:40Evie.
06:43Whatever.
06:45Raja, you are on Team Trinity.
06:47And I'm so excited that you're with us, bitch.
06:50What a bunch of bitches, though. God.
06:53Team Jada, you'll be arguing the case.
06:56Blow the House Down Boots.
06:59It's a sordid tale of the three little pig sisters and the big bad wolf.
07:06And Team Trinity, you'll be arguing the case.
07:09Sheena already had hers.
07:12Oh.
07:13All about a queen named Goldilocks, who has some serious boundary issues.
07:19Yes, honey, it's a tale as old as time.
07:22And ladies, for your day in court, feel free to treat your tresses with products by Main Club.
07:30Racers, start your engines and may the best legend win.
07:38Here we go.
07:39Well, this sounds fun.
07:40Yes.
07:40I am so excited.
07:42Okay, let's look in this notebook.
07:44Let's see.
07:45Okay, this week's maxi challenge is fairytale justice, and we're gonna be going to court over the three pigs versus
07:53the big bad wolf.
07:54Hopefully, we can improv our way to a happily ever after.
08:01Well, this is a cute team, honey.
08:03Our team has three people who have legendary stars.
08:06And one future star holder.
08:08Absolutely.
08:09Okay.
08:10Now, defendant is the big bad wolf.
08:13The big bad wolf is sexy, slick, charming.
08:15A player.
08:16I kind of want to play the big bad sexy wolf.
08:19Like very close to the boogeyman, which they love.
08:21Yeah, I don't know.
08:22I'm kind of like split between playing him more like an extension of the boogeyman character,
08:28or like this, like, like that kind of.
08:31Oh, yeah, like a gangster.
08:33Like an old gangster.
08:34Yeah, like an old 1940s mob man.
08:36I would never.
08:37Hey, baby, you want your big bad wolf to come over and roll around in your old pig pen?
08:48Pig sister, Twiggly.
08:49She's built her house of twigs, which makes sense.
08:52She's suing the wolf for destruction of property.
08:54She's a famous fashion model.
08:55I kind of do like Twiggly.
08:57I'm like, in my mind, I'm imagining like, she's more of an Instagram model.
09:00She's famous.
09:01She does not have time.
09:02She's so busy.
09:04Surprise witness is pig sister, Hamela.
09:06She's called to back up the testimony of the big bad wolf.
09:10Ooh.
09:10Wait, she's backing up the big bad wolf?
09:12Hamela is on my side.
09:13I like Hamela.
09:13I want to come in.
09:14I want them to give me like a briefcase, come in glasses.
09:16I'm like, no.
09:17Your Honor, this is my man.
09:18And these girls, they're lying.
09:19You know?
09:20Yeah.
09:20Yeah.
09:21I want to play Spare Rib as like a really vapid millennial who's obsessed with her Instagram
09:28feed and her TikTok followers.
09:30Of course.
09:31Can you do like trailer trash?
09:33Like sexy trailer trash?
09:33I got trailer trash up inside me, too.
09:35Yeah, you know what I mean?
09:36Like kind of like aloof and kind of stupid.
09:38Like perpetual baby.
09:40Yes and to the max.
09:43Just because I'm blocked doesn't mean I can't still perform to the best of mine abilities.
09:48She's just your really dumb bitchy slutty younger sister.
09:52Gotcha.
09:53I can't possibly do anything bad because I'm just a helpless little baby.
09:57Yeah.
09:57Oh, this would be so cute.
09:59What do y'all think about the other team?
10:01They've got some pretty strong actors in their midst as well.
10:05I mean, and then they've got the British one.
10:07That's going to be a nice little party trick to pull out.
10:09Yeah.
10:10Because she's British.
10:11Yeah.
10:13She's driven by the same starlessness that is powering me this week.
10:18Grandma Hood is a fashion forward sexually active older lady.
10:21Oh my God, I'm Grandma Hood.
10:23Yeah.
10:24Improv equals unpredictable.
10:27And so this type of challenge gives me somewhere between that balance of like crazy,
10:31crazy anxiety and also excitement.
10:33But I need to win a star.
10:35So I got to put on my improv panties and fucking kill it.
10:39I'm kind of reading both Mama Bear or Goldilocks.
10:42I'm feeling like Mama Bear or even The Witness, The Witch Teresa.
10:48Okay.
10:49I'm also feeling either Goldilocks or The Witch.
10:52So...
10:52I think The Witch is great because you have a very particular laugh where you can really
10:56utilize it.
10:57And it's very witchy.
10:59So then I'll do Mama Bear.
11:00Yes.
11:01And your Goldilocks.
11:02We didn't get an improv challenge in the UK.
11:03So I'm super excited to stick my teeth into this.
11:06Goldie is a blonde showgirl with secrets.
11:08She's a master manipulator who always seems to get in her way.
11:11I've got a really warped vision of Goldilocks.
11:15Explain.
11:16I just image her as this really sweet little gorgeous girl with like little pigtails and
11:20then this kind of thick manly Scottish accent.
11:23Yeah.
11:23So Michelle's like, well where are we?
11:24I don't fucking know Michelle.
11:26Yeah.
11:26I mean, I'm just Goldilocks.
11:28Goldilocks is a compulsive liar.
11:29She's an identity thief which is perfect for me because I have many identities inside
11:34me.
11:36That's...
11:36Yeah.
11:39Out of all of us you have the most change.
11:42You have the most backstory.
11:43You have the most going on.
11:44Connection to everything.
11:45And it's quite a big part.
11:47But I love a big part.
11:50What should we do next with this?
11:52Talk about how you think the other girls are going to do.
11:54Well, I mean there's some powerful forces with her.
11:56I think Monet's going to do a terrific job.
11:57Everybody's great.
11:58I think Jinx and Monet are very powerful there.
12:01I think we have to keep up, you know?
12:03I'm excited.
12:03Me too, this feels good.
12:04This is going to be so good.
12:13Once upon a time, in a far away place, justice was served.
12:19With a whole lot of fakes.
12:21Water in my court!
12:23The fables are real.
12:24Sleeping Beauty faves.
12:26Dumb is forever.
12:27The animals can talk.
12:29You kiss your fairy godmother with-
12:34This is fairytale justice.
12:37This is the plaintiff.
12:39She's suing the big bad wolf for $25,000.
12:43She claims he blew her hay house down, which for her was the last straw.
12:50This is the defendant.
12:52He claims the plaintiff is grasping at straws and is countersuing for defamation of character.
13:00All rise for the fairies of them all.
13:03Judge Michelle Risage.
13:05Well, thank you, Officer Cottontail.
13:09B-5-4-5.
13:12Order in the fairytale court.
13:14Do you swear to tell the tea, the whole tea, and nothing but the tea?
13:19So help your mother goose.
13:21Yeah, I basically do, okay?
13:22Mother goose is all I got in this world, you know what I'm saying, baby?
13:26Plaintiff!
13:26State your name, please.
13:27My name is Spare Rib, at spare with a three for the E, underscore rib-
13:35Okay.
13:366669.
13:37Okay.
13:37On all my socials.
13:38Right.
13:39Defendant!
13:40State your name.
13:41I'm the big bad wolf.
13:43But where I come from, they call me BB.
13:46Oh.
13:46Oh, hi.
13:50What's your story, Spare Rib?
13:51Okay, so basically, I was rolling around in my own shit like I do every night, when all
13:57of a sudden I hear this, like, desperate howling outside my house.
14:01Ooh.
14:01And then it's that mangy asshole at my door.
14:05Then I realized this is the guy who slid into my DMs asking for pictures of my hooves.
14:11And he's screaming, let me in, let me in.
14:13And I know he's not talking about my house.
14:15He's trying to get in the pink, if you know what I mean.
14:19And I have slept with many animals, like I'll totally snort your carrot.
14:23But I do not sleep with dogs, okay?
14:31Okay, I didn't know he could do that, and that might change things later.
14:35But first, we have to handle this situation.
14:37Wolfie, have you previously been acquainted with Miss Spare Rib?
14:41I ain't never met no piggy like this.
14:43I'm Jewish.
14:44I can't even eat pork.
14:46So, Spare Rib, how did your house blow down again?
14:48Well, he was swinging his massive...
14:50I mean, he was huffing and puffing, and it just, like, fell over.
14:54That's just like some pigs trying to blame the big, bad wolf.
14:58You know they're always just trying to get a brother in the dog pound, you know what I'm saying?
15:02Ow!
15:02Ah!
15:03Ooh!
15:04He can't even howl right.
15:05Spare Rib, what was your house made of?
15:08It was made of straw.
15:10Straw?
15:11Yeah, it's really sustainable.
15:12As in, hey girl, hey?
15:15Okay, I did not come here to be belittled.
15:17That's my workspace, because that's where I shoot my only hands, and I know what you're...
15:21Yeah, it's drop the book shocking.
15:24Plus, that's where I record my ASMR of me eating slaw.
15:28Okay, lots of people paid for it.
15:30It's a thing.
15:30Oh.
15:31B.B., what do you say to that?
15:33If I had word to pass a house in the woods, and I might have sneezed a little bit.
15:39Things come tumbling the way they go bumbling, you know what I'm saying?
15:42Hmm.
15:42Spare Rib, right now, it's your word against the big, bad wolf.
15:46I need evidence.
15:48Well, fine.
15:48Okay, so my sister, like, had all of the same shit happen to her.
15:52Are you gonna bring her out or what?
15:54Twigly?
15:55This is plaintiff number two.
15:57She's suing the wolf for $50,000.
16:00She claims he blew her house down, and left her nothing but a pile of twigs.
16:07State your name.
16:08My name is Twigly, like that other model that people know.
16:10Except I have like a million more followers, and I'm way cuter.
16:14How were you involved in this case?
16:16My house was destroyed by the shitty asshole over here.
16:19Wow, language.
16:19I apologize, by the shitty fucking asshole over here.
16:23What happened exactly?
16:24I'm investing in beautiful new properties in the most amazing area, Beverly Squeals.
16:28Yes, I love Beverly Squeals.
16:30One day, I'm just at home, and my sister comes screaming, losing her mind.
16:33She tells me that her shitty little home is destroyed.
16:37That's not an insult. It's made out of shit.
16:39Anyway, there's this crazy wolf knocking on my door who's obviously obsessed with me.
16:44Now, normally, I would have let him in if he was a foxy kind of guy, because I would fuck
16:48a fox.
16:49Oh, baby, he's my cousin.
16:51Yeah, okay.
16:52Listen, your honor nest.
16:54I was just going over there to try and work out some new tracks on my mixtape.
16:59Speaking of which, you want to buy a mixtape?
17:01I think I'm good.
17:03Anyway, so I obviously tell him, get the fuck off my doorstep and move along.
17:07And guess what he fucking did? He blew it down!
17:10It's terrible.
17:11Twiggly, your mouth.
17:11It's really hard to watch my mouth with this tiny, tiny snout.
17:14I recently got a snout job.
17:16I also do snout jobs on my website, but you have to pay for that.
17:19And those are not the same snout jobs I'm getting.
17:23Shut up!
17:24I'm going to put her in the fairy tale court.
17:27Wolfie.
17:28Yeah, baby.
17:29Do you have anyone who could vouch for your character?
17:32My girlfriend.
17:36This is the witness for the defendant.
17:38She claims the plaintiff's stories aren't kosher.
17:44State your name, please.
17:46Hello, your honor.
17:47My name is Hamela Anderson.
17:49Did you bring evidence to corroborate his story?
17:52Is that a yes?
17:54Okay.
17:55Your honor, these lies are untrue.
17:58I have known Swigley and, uh, extra ribs here my entire life.
18:02Okay.
18:02These two porksters, they're horrors.
18:04Okay?
18:05First off, she's a whore.
18:07I am not.
18:08Excuse me.
18:09I'm a sex worker, and it's very different, and I think it's time we address that.
18:13She is here promoting her only hams, but she's more like only hammered, okay?
18:17Okay.
18:17Oh, okay.
18:18I have not drank since this morning, I swear.
18:21Pamela, how do you know these two pigs?
18:23Your honor, they are my sisters.
18:26Your honor, I don't trust these girls.
18:27They're nasty.
18:28What?
18:29They're your sisters!
18:30They have slept with everyone.
18:31They have slept with Bagheera, Shere Khan.
18:33They've slept with everyone in this courtroom, your honor.
18:35What is your relationship to the big bad wolf?
18:37We're Fredo over here.
18:38We've been together for two years.
18:40Okay.
18:40Oh, baby, you using my name.
18:41You gonna embarrass me and me in front of everybody.
18:43Would you consider your relationship monogamous?
18:45Oh, absolutely, Your Honor.
18:47We only pork each other.
18:49Yeah.
18:52I happen to know that that is not true.
18:56How do you know, Sparrow?
18:57I have on occasion had encounters with the big bad wolf, but I don't think it counts as
19:05sex because he only puts it in my ass.
19:08Baby, I would never hit that pig in a blankie.
19:11Twiggly?
19:11Yeah?
19:12What about you?
19:12Have you ever had intimate relations with the big bad wolf?
19:16I mean...
19:16Twiggly?
19:18Y'all done!
19:20You porked her too?
19:21I can't help it.
19:22I like me a little bit of a ham sandwich.
19:24You know what I'm saying?
19:26Hey!
19:28Hamela, you have been betrayed.
19:30No, baby.
19:30Your sisters need you.
19:32Girl, I'm begging you.
19:33We love you.
19:34I'm begging.
19:35Basically, we're sister wives.
19:36I'm begging you.
19:37We can just name my family.
19:39Oh!
19:40Oh, my God!
19:41That was really a hurt!
19:42Girl!
19:43Do it again!
19:43Don't you ever touch my mouth!
19:45Oh!
19:45Oh, my God!
19:46You bitch!
19:48Oh!
19:49Ow!
19:50Ow!
19:51You knocked my teeth out!
19:53Oh!
19:53Oh!
19:54I'm so sorry!
19:55It's got anybody else's tail wagging?
19:57This is getting out of control!
19:59Put your teeth back in!
20:00I'm trying!
20:01I know how we're all gonna live happily ever after.
20:05How?
20:05Here is my verdict.
20:08This little piggy goes to market.
20:11This little piggy stays home.
20:14This little piggy can have some roast beef with a side of horseradish.
20:19And you, Wolfie, you big, bad wolf, I'll see you in my chambers.
20:29Case dismissed!
20:30No evidence!
20:32Get out of here!
20:33BB!
20:34Can I listen to your mixtape?
20:36Ooh!
20:36She's the baddest witch in all the land!
20:39She can hand me over any damn ham!
20:41Ooh!
20:42And the litigants are just leaving the courtroom.
20:45Hello, Three Pig Sisters!
20:47Well, you were unsuccessful in this courtroom.
20:49What do you think you could have done to make this case go better?
20:54Win!
20:54But you know what they say, fake it until you make it!
20:57You make it!
20:57That's right!
20:58No, you're really hurt!
20:59Jesus Christ!
21:00What's happening?
21:01The stress is just really getting to me!
21:04Your ear falling off.
21:05I'm sorry, you're gonna have to speak up.
21:06I can only hear you half as well!
21:09Yeah, yeah.
21:09Any regrets?
21:10I mean, it is what it is.
21:13Truer words have never been spoken.
21:15Well, thank you, ladies.
21:16Thank you very much.
21:18Let's go.
21:20Welcome back to Fairytale Justice.
21:22The princes are charming, the stepmothers are evil, and the judge is a total witch.
21:30This is the plaintiff.
21:32She claims the defendant broke into her home, ate her food, and damaged her property.
21:39She's suing for $57 plus $3 million for pain and suffering.
21:45This is the defendant.
21:47She claims that this is a big misunderstanding.
21:50She didn't mean to cause any harm.
21:54Plaintiff, state your name.
21:56Halle Berry.
21:57State your case, please.
21:58When my husband and I left Bareback Mountain in search of a better life,
22:03I never imagined that I would be subjected to such grisly crimes as the ones committed by this woman.
22:14I was doing my normal daily task of making porridge for my lovely family,
22:20and I went out on a walk to go and let it cool off.
22:23I came back to find my front door, kicked down, my porridge eaten, and the custom baby bear chair from
22:34Bear Knees.
22:34Fancy.
22:35Destroyed.
22:36And then I find this little girl asleep in my child's bed. Imagine!
22:43And look, we're in a fancy new neighborhood and I know that as a black bear, I cannot call animal
22:49control.
22:49So I woke her and I asked her, what the hell are you doing in my house?
22:54Oh!
22:55Defendant, please state your name.
22:57My name is Goldie Locks.
22:58Mates call me Goldie.
22:59Mm-hmm.
23:00And I haven't got a clue what she's talking about.
23:04Goldie.
23:05Eh?
23:06You have no idea what she's talking about.
23:08Well, listen, I'd finished my gig behind a tree in a forbidden forest.
23:12Okay.
23:13They underpaid, so my only option was a bear B&B.
23:16I got to that bear B&B and let me tell you it was a dump.
23:19An absolute dump.
23:21And let's blame the Scottish person for eating the porridge.
23:24I suppose you think I've got a ginger fanny as well.
23:26I'm looking at you fanny and it's flat.
23:29When I asked her why she broke my baby bear chair from Bear Knees.
23:35And all this Bear Knees, she couldn't afford Bear Knees.
23:37It was from Ikea.
23:40Your Honor.
23:41I need more evidence, Mama Bear.
23:43Oh.
23:45What, is it because she has posable thumbs?
23:47Leave my thumbs out of this.
23:49Do you have anyone who could corroborate your story?
23:52I may know someone.
23:54Bring in the witness!
23:55This is plaintiff number two.
23:58She claims Goldie isn't who she seems and has a reputation for telling lies.
24:03State your name, please.
24:05Gwendolyn Constance Periwinkle Hood.
24:09I live in the Shady Pines Convalescent Care.
24:13Just over the river and through the woods.
24:16And through the woods, yes.
24:17Right, right.
24:17I know that one.
24:18I also have a boyfriend.
24:20Yes, his name is Geppetto.
24:22Ooh.
24:23Yes, Frisky.
24:26And how are you involved in this case?
24:28This young lady here is my granddaughter.
24:33And her name is not actually Goldie.
24:36Her name is Lil' Rat.
24:38I know nothing of what this lady is talking about.
24:41My name is Helga and I'm from Germany and I just like to eat strudel.
24:45You're from Glendale.
24:47We don't have Glendale in Germany.
24:49Hmm.
24:49Didn't that where a wolf eat you?
24:52Oh, yes.
24:52She's actually told people that I was eaten by the wolf.
24:59Really?
24:59Yes.
25:00But the truth is that she was actually being eaten herself by the wolf.
25:04You know what I mean by eating?
25:06Oh, dear.
25:06There.
25:07Oh, in fact, there he is.
25:08Oh, hello.
25:08That's the wolf.
25:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:11The last time I saw that wolf, he was howling in her pussy.
25:14Oh!
25:15There she is.
25:15And I'm just back here chilling with my little piece of pussy and my piece of egg.
25:20It's funny because it's a donkey sat next to him.
25:23Or should I call you Little Red or Helga?
25:25Is what your grandmother's saying true?
25:27This is not my grandmother and she has no house.
25:30She's homeless.
25:31So this story has many holes.
25:33Like German cheese, many holes.
25:36That's Swiss cheese.
25:37She even lies about cheese.
25:38Oh, my God.
25:39Grandma Hood.
25:39What?
25:40Do you have any evidence?
25:43May I call up another witness to this?
25:45Yes, you may.
25:45Let's bring in the next witness.
25:47This is a surprise witness.
25:49She may have information of spellbinding relevance to the case.
25:55The brew thickens.
25:56Hey, girl, which Teresa?
25:59Which Teresa?
26:00There's only one Teresa.
26:01You, Teresa.
26:02Yes, me, Teresa.
26:03How you doing, girl?
26:05I'm great.
26:05Good to see you.
26:06I love your hairstyle.
26:07Love the dress.
26:08Me, too.
26:08Did you get yours at the Spotted Cauldron?
26:09It was a discount.
26:11Oh, it's gorgeous.
26:12You sound like Cher, which Teresa.
26:14Oh!
26:16Tell us what your involvement is in this crazy cave.
26:20I live in the nicest gingerbread house on the other side of the forest.
26:26I was out trying to cure a case of the warts.
26:29Oh.
26:30And when I returned, half my porch had been eaten.
26:33Michelle, you remember my porch?
26:35Is the swing still there?
26:36It's gone!
26:38Oh, my goodness!
26:39Teresa!
26:40I know, and I don't know another lesbian witch to fix it.
26:44Oh, I got a few.
26:45Don't worry.
26:45Okay, good.
26:45I can send them your way.
26:47I continue into my house.
26:48I'm frantic.
26:52And I find this, this in my bed with a man.
26:58They said they were Hensel and Gretel, brother and sister.
27:02Oh.
27:02The things that they were doing, no sibling would do.
27:06Oh.
27:06Not in my house.
27:07This is not Mississippi.
27:09Okay, listen.
27:11Blondie, I don't even know what your name is at this point.
27:13Explain yourself.
27:14So Gretel sounds like she is also from one of these countries that has an accent like this.
27:18So I'm going to stick with this, and I have proved that I am really Gretel.
27:22Watch.
27:25They are bread crumbs.
27:26Why are you throwing crumbs on the courtroom floor?
27:28Because I am Hansel and Gretel.
27:29It's true to my character.
27:31I am Hansel and Gretel.
27:32You're both?
27:33I am both.
27:35You are in trouble, Missy.
27:37You don't know what that swing meant.
27:40So you're both swingers?
27:41We were until you ate it.
27:43Our swinging days are over because of you.
27:46It was a tasty swing.
27:47That's what she said when she ate my porridge too.
27:49Your porridge sucked, woman.
27:51Excuse me.
27:52Blondie.
27:53Clearly, you have a psychological problem and a history of breaking and entering.
27:59And eating.
28:00Alright, listen.
28:01Oh!
28:02I'm from Glendale.
28:04I told you!
28:06Glendale!
28:07I grew up with a wicked stepmother.
28:09And she ran away with the baker.
28:10And that's why I got addicted to carbs and started leaving bread crumbs everywhere
28:14and I kept getting lost on the way home because I couldn't stop eating him.
28:18Oh!
28:18Oh!
28:19Oh!
28:20I'm sorry!
28:21Are you?
28:22No!
28:26I could sentence you to community service.
28:29You could spend the next six months helping all the king's horses and all the king's men
28:35put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
28:38That sounds like fun.
28:39That's not fun.
28:40But I am looking for a happy ending.
28:43Ladies, can you find it in your heart to help this girl turn her life around?
28:54How about we hug it out?
28:56Cottontail.
28:57Officer Cottontail.
28:57Big hug.
28:58Come on.
28:59I'm so sorry.
28:59Wolfie.
29:00Come on, honey.
29:00Group hug.
29:01Go on, everybody.
29:03Okay.
29:04Oh!
29:06There we go.
29:08I love harmony in my core room.
29:11Oh, this little baby carrot.
29:13Oh!
29:14Oh, I needed some ranch.
29:15Oh, wait!
29:16Oh, wait!
29:17Where did she go?
29:18Oh!
29:18What?
29:19Oh, no!
29:20Oh, no!
29:21Follow the breadcrumb, Your Honor.
29:24Hickory dickory dock.
29:26Court is adjourned.
29:28Hey, Wolfie!
29:29Where'd you go?
29:30Wolfie!
29:30Oh, wrong way!
29:31Oh!
29:32Oh!
29:35Wolfie?
29:36Well, well, well.
29:38It looks like the defendants have snuck out.
29:41Goldilocks, have you learned your lesson?
29:43Fuck no.
29:44No.
29:44Wolf, are you done with blowing down houses?
29:47I'm done with blowing down houses, but I'm just starting blowing backs out.
29:51Oh!
29:53I love your ears.
29:56Come on, baby.
29:56Let's go hump the pillows.
29:57Well, it looks like the litigants are just now arriving in the courtroom lobby.
30:02Do you mind if I say hi to some people?
30:05No, I don't mind at all.
30:06Hi, dears!
30:07Look at me!
30:08I'm on TV!
30:10Hi, Mom!
30:11Yeah, yeah.
30:12So now, you three really didn't know each other before this case.
30:16Will the friendship continue?
30:18Nothing brings you together like getting robbed by a little girl.
30:20Yes, that's right.
30:21Yeah.
30:21I can make some coffee.
30:22Let's go eat the rest of my porch.
30:24Don't bring it to you!
30:25That's right.
30:26That's right.
30:28Remember, if you break the law, hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to Fairytale Court.
30:32You go.
30:47Today, we received the verdict from the judges on our Fairytale Justice performances.
30:53All rise.
30:55So now that we had, like, slept on it, how do y'all feel how we did yesterday?
30:58I think we did great.
30:59I feel really good.
31:01I feel like we achieved such good balance as a team and, like, worked as a team.
31:06Yeah.
31:07But you know what?
31:07In my mind, you really stood out out of all of us.
31:09Oh, absolutely.
31:10Out of everything.
31:11You did.
31:11How in the name of heaven, hell, and purgatory in between did you come up with all of those
31:16fucking accents?
31:17It was brilliant.
31:19Yeah, there was accents coming up that I hadn't even planned.
31:21That was a great thing about having a compulsive liar.
31:26I think you played it too well.
31:29Yeah.
31:30I'm concerned.
31:31Yeah.
31:31I was just so upset because I worked so hard to lose this weight and I ate three Danish pastries.
31:38I think I did a very, very good job.
31:41So this is hopefully the week that I finally get a star.
31:44But everyone is so, so good, which is so, so annoying.
31:54This is literally, do you notice it's so weird, but I, this is like kind of like an energy booster
31:59for me.
32:00What is that?
32:01Tahine.
32:02Tahine shots.
32:03A what shot?
32:04Tahine.
32:05Okay.
32:05Okay.
32:06I'm going to do one with you at the same time, bitch.
32:07Watch.
32:08And you'll see like the little sourness will give you like a, kind of a pickup.
32:11And you feel like brighter.
32:13Well, I mean, it's salty, spicy, tangy.
32:16It slops your mouth away.
32:18Cheers.
32:19Cheers.
32:20You got to let it go all over the time.
32:22I know.
32:22I see what you mean.
32:23And it's legal.
32:24And it's legal.
32:26You can't get pulled over for that.
32:31Watching everybody perform yesterday.
32:33It just felt so good to be around such professionals.
32:37What, when you were on our team?
32:38Pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro, pro.
32:40Shut up.
32:41Can I hear your old lady voice again, Raja?
32:43I think you heard something like me.
32:47It wasn't like this.
32:50Now do your old lady voice.
32:54I hate all of you.
32:56Next time we do something like this, I'm not playing an old lady.
32:59And I'm not playing a sexy man.
33:01And next time we do something like this, I'm going to be funny.
33:07I love your guys' little language.
33:09It's our own.
33:10Our own language.
33:11We're going to sell the Raja to Monet dictionary at DragCon.
33:15And I'll do the Monet to Raja thesaurus.
33:18The Dinosaurus thesaurus.
33:21Jada, what are you doing to yourself?
33:23I know this looks absolutely crazy.
33:25That is rad.
33:27Jada's going to get canceled for white blackface.
33:30Do y'all practice any of your nugs before you come here?
33:32You're just like, I'll just do it when I get there.
33:34I practiced half of this and I think I should have done the full thing, but that's okay.
33:39Imagine I go out on the runway like this.
33:41I say, the thing about it is, is that there's just really never enough time back there.
33:51Okay.
33:52Now it's time to deliberate on who's getting blocked.
33:55We tend to block the person who blocked the week before.
33:59Yes.
33:59As the person who gave the first block out, I was the next person to receive a block with Jinx
34:05giving one out to me.
34:06And then Jinx gets blocked the following week.
34:08At least that's the pattern we've made so far.
34:10So let's see if it continues.
34:12Now that got a little personal, bitch.
34:14That got a little personal.
34:15This is the tea, y'all.
34:17So far, the person who has the power to block has been blocked the week after they blocked somebody.
34:22So this week, if I don't win and if the pattern continues, I will be blocked.
34:27And I'm like, okay, bitch, now it's getting a little, now you're getting too cute.
34:30Too close for comfort.
34:31This is absolutely stupid.
34:57Welcome to the main stage of RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars All Winners.
35:02She brings it to you every ball.
35:04It's Michelle Visage.
35:06Yes, but these days I'm home in bed way before midnight.
35:11And the hilarious Ross Matthews.
35:14Now, Ross, what's your favorite fairy tale?
35:17Guess.
35:1922 inches.
35:23He gets stuck in my lip gloss over.
35:25And he's a prince among businesses.
35:29Welcome back, Jeffrey Boyer Chapman.
35:31Hey, Pumpkin.
35:33God, I missed this.
35:36This week, we challenged our queens to make believe on fairytale justice.
35:41And tonight, category is Spikes on the Runway.
35:46Racers, start your engines.
35:48And may the best legend win.
36:01The return of North Beach leather.
36:04You want to take a seat?
36:05No.
36:05You'll just stand.
36:06I am giving you a very beautiful, sickening Grace Jones-esque vibe.
36:11And you know that she had to throw some baby hairs all down the face,
36:14because that's just the way she rocks, mama.
36:16Spikes on bikes.
36:19Up next, Jinx Monsoon.
36:22Girl, your porcupine is on fire.
36:24Yeah.
36:24She can pork my pine any time.
36:26I am Norma Desmond meets Cruella de Vil playing the evil countess who made a dress out of porcupines.
36:35You're killing me, Larry.
36:40Monet exchange.
36:42Well, that's one way to not use a lip liner.
36:44She'd like to keep it on, please.
36:47This is very hung.
36:49I have two suits sewed together.
36:52I'm giving you Westwood meets The Hood.
36:54She's dangerous also, because these spikes are real out there sharp.
36:56She's got a business meeting and the market is spiking.
37:01Evie Oddly.
37:02Careful, I think she bites.
37:04Hotel.
37:05She's off to see the lizard.
37:09I am serving you scorpion, alien, spike reptile, humanoid.
37:14You're seeing Evie at her finest and at her tallest point here.
37:17Back horns.
37:21Trinity the Tuck.
37:24God hates fangs.
37:27No, she equipped her of blood.
37:29I am a vampiric bitch, and everybody knows vampires do not age.
37:35Girl, I love to be impaled, so why not have a spike through my heart?
37:39I want to suck your cock.
37:43The Vivian.
37:45Vivian, can we just put a pin in this?
37:47The time has come.
37:48Keep your whip-sync for your life.
37:51This is giving Cyber Catwoman Vivian Westwood.
37:55I feel so powerful.
37:57It's cutting me minging too, and I feel fabulous.
38:01You spike me.
38:02You really spike me.
38:06Russia!
38:07Well, that's the most gorgeous chastity belt I've ever seen.
38:11My mama said, never leave home without your mace.
38:14I was a kid who loved movies that...
38:20And I am set for battle.
38:22I am ready for the war.
38:24I didn't know Flash Gordon could get any gayer.
38:29Up next, Shea Coulee.
38:32That reminds me, I gotta get some medicine for my crabs.
38:35Horseshoe crabs, I mean.
38:37Miss Coulee is giving you super galactic fairy touchdown on Earth.
38:42I got this tight hobble skirt silhouette, and baby, is she hobbling.
38:46That's one small step for drag time.
38:49Yes.
38:52Let's go!
38:57Let's go!
38:59Let's go!
39:02Welcome, Ladykins!
39:04Now it's time for the judges' critiques, starting with Jada Essence Hall.
39:10I had so much fun doing this challenge with y'all.
39:13Jada, you came in, you were so much fun, you looked so beautiful.
39:16I thought you did a really good job at improv-ing.
39:20I have to say, I've never been more into pig play than seeing you in that nose.
39:25I'm like, hello!
39:27Well done.
39:28Thank you so much.
39:29This look tonight is everything to me.
39:31It's Yves Saint Laurent, 90s, vintage, perfection, and that spiked afro.
39:36I just wanna take it off and plop it on my head right now.
39:38The black makeup, it's just so stunning.
39:40It's so gorgeous.
39:42Can I see through the side?
39:43Oh, those are so gorgeous.
39:44They're actually upside down.
39:46Hey, Diana Ross, are you ready for the song you made number one for me?
39:52Up next, it's Jinx Monsoon.
39:56You are incredible when it comes to improv.
39:59Like, it is a skill that not a lot of people have, and you got it down, girl.
40:04You two together were spectacular.
40:06You know when you see someone doing something that they're so good at, and it's just the rest of the
40:10world fades away?
40:11That's what happened.
40:12You just came so armed and ready to ham it up.
40:17I did not come here to be belittled.
40:19I just loved every second of watching you in this challenge.
40:22Really good week for you.
40:25You know, when I heard the runway with spikes, I was like, how the hell is Jinx gonna do a
40:28spike runway?
40:30But you got spikes up on your back.
40:31You're a very chic, very ladylike porcupine.
40:35And I just think it's fun because it's who you are, and you're staying true to that.
40:40Up next, Monet Exchange.
40:43Oh, there you are.
40:45Wow.
40:46You know what you can do so well?
40:48Make an entrance.
40:50You just, you gotta sell it on the get-go, and then we bought it.
40:54I just thought you were so fantastic.
40:56You had an intention.
40:57You knew what your point of view was.
40:59You kicked ass.
41:00You did a great job.
41:01Thank you, Michelle.
41:01I am living for this look.
41:03I grew up in the middle of nowhere in Canada with no black folk around me,
41:07but all my best friends were these crazy punk rock queens, and I always wanted a mohawk.
41:14And seeing you, a black girl with this mohawk, if it's meaning this much to me,
41:18it's like giving life to all the young black children out there in the world right now.
41:22Thank you, Jeffrey.
41:23Up next, Evie.
41:25Oddly, look how statuesque you are.
41:28How are you upright right now?
41:30I don't understand this.
41:32This is so exciting.
41:33It looks so fantastic.
41:35Your body, how you've accentuated that tiny waist, those long legs.
41:41It's brilliant.
41:42Evie, you had a tough role, because you were the big bad wolf, and you were there the whole time.
41:45But I loved how into it you got.
41:47Anything that was thrown at you, you took it and you ran with it.
41:50At one point, you kicked your leg up on the podium and scratched your ear and your leg went.
41:54Those were just sort of next level things that you do that make a character fully formed.
42:00I almost wish I wasn't as attracted to your big bad wolf as I was, but what are you going
42:05to do?
42:05Blow your house down.
42:07I'm here for it.
42:08Up next, it's Trinity the Talk.
42:11Hey, girl.
42:12Hey, girl.
42:13This look is just so fantastic.
42:16If someone told me category is spikes, I don't think I'd be smart enough to do something like this.
42:21Your interpretation is probably my favorite.
42:24Okay, let's talk about you and the challenge.
42:25You are having a blast.
42:28Yeah.
42:28I continue into my house.
42:30I'm frantic.
42:32And we are having so much fun watching you.
42:36It's just so much fun to watch you and your ridiculousness and your stupidity.
42:42I don't even remember the girl from the audition tape from all those years ago.
42:46I don't remember her.
42:47I didn't know she could do all this.
42:49And I definitely don't recognize her nose.
42:51Yeah.
42:52Don't make me laugh.
42:53I'm going to tip over.
42:56Up next, it's Shea Coulee.
42:59Greetings, Earthlings.
43:00It's a gear zone.
43:01I have no idea what it is that you were meant to be in this outfit, but I don't care
43:05because
43:06you're fabulous, girl.
43:07It's ridiculous.
43:07It's crazy.
43:08It's out there.
43:09It fit right in with the rest of these freaks.
43:12Yeah.
43:14This part of Mama Bear is a really tough part because you're playing a Karen.
43:19You're uptight.
43:20And that can be risky.
43:22But you're consistently funny with it.
43:25And I think you did really well.
43:26Thank you, Roz.
43:27All right.
43:27Up next, the Vivian.
43:29You can't give hugs with nuclear arms.
43:33I give a great fist, though.
43:35This look tonight, it might just be one of those things.
43:39One of my favorite looks to ever grace the main stage of this show.
43:43It's magnificent.
43:45Iconic.
43:45And, you know, we've seen a lot of outfits over the years.
43:47This is going to be one of them that will live forever and ever and ever.
43:52Vivian, you should have done something with your character.
43:54She was so boring.
43:56My name is Helga, and I'm from Germany, and I just like to eat strudel.
44:00You were fully in your element, and it was another brilliant performance.
44:03And I loved watching it.
44:05I mean, Meryl better watch her back with all those accents coming out your herpes-covered
44:09mouth, honey.
44:10That was...
44:11It was boring.
44:12It was boring.
44:14Right.
44:15How old were you when you realized you knew how to emulate someone?
44:18It's kind of how I navigated not getting bullied through school, because I was the funny kid,
44:22and people would come up to me and be like, do that voice, do that voice.
44:25And I'd just be like, if you don't hit me, I will.
44:30Well, thank you, Vivian.
44:32Thank you so much.
44:33All right, up next, it's Raja.
44:35Hi.
44:35This outfit is...
44:39I mean.
44:41It is my childhood fantasy come to life.
44:43This will be a timeless fan favorite.
44:46You know what I loved about you in the challenge?
44:48Mm-hmm.
44:48The characterization that you had, even in your body.
44:51You were kind of hunched over like Sofia Petrillo.
44:54You had that grandma-hood body, and that's what sold your character to me.
44:58Bitch, you fucking went in on this character.
45:03Everything about it was really fully realized.
45:06And what's exciting about this is that we're getting to witness the rebirth of Raja.
45:10Because all the people who knew you from back then, they're all dead.
45:19Dead.
45:20So it's like a brand new Raja.
45:24Thank you, ladies.
45:26I think we've heard enough.
45:27While you enjoy a House of Love cocktail, in the workroom, the judges and I will deliberate.
45:34You may leave the stage.
45:37Dankeschön.
45:40All right, now, just between us girlfriends, what do you think?
45:44Now, they're all so good.
45:45Beyond.
45:45But we're looking for a top two.
45:47What are you gonna do?
45:48They're all so fabulous.
45:49Ross.
45:50Here's the deal.
45:51Jinx had all the puns, all the jokes, and all the character.
45:54I don't know how you beat her when it comes to an acting challenge.
45:58The look tonight on the runway with Jinx, I love.
46:00This is how she sees spikes.
46:02Oh, of course.
46:03An evening gown with the porcupine on my back.
46:05That's how she does it.
46:07Jinx takes every challenge and runs it through her filter.
46:10And that is how you excel here.
46:12She really knows how to do this.
46:14And boy, oh boy, did I have fun with her in that exit interview.
46:18It's fun to play with her.
46:19We were able to volley because she's so smart.
46:21Mm-hmm.
46:22Yeah.
46:23I thought Evie oddly held it down in a really strong way.
46:27She had answers for everything.
46:28She had a character that she developed.
46:29She was very sneaky, very sly.
46:31So I thought she did a really strong job.
46:33I was really proud of Evie.
46:34Tonight on the runway, well, this is what I think of when I think of Evie oddly.
46:41This is inhumane, but thank God she wore them because that was a moment on the runway.
46:47Wowza.
46:48She really looked fantastic.
46:49Love that outfit.
46:50That was really well done.
46:51You want to talk about a tough job.
46:53The Vivian, she showed us what she can do.
46:55The Vivian was Goldilocks, Little Red, Helga, and Hansel.
47:00And that was amazing.
47:02She is so skilled at all of those accents.
47:05So skilled at the approach for every single one of those characters.
47:08And we believed it.
47:09I thought that was a job really well done.
47:11Between that performance and this outfit on the main stage tonight, iconic is the word.
47:17Everything about it, it's dangerous, but it's also pretty.
47:20It's edgy, but it's fashion.
47:22All of it is just spectacular.
47:24I'd give her a high five, but I'm scared.
47:26You'd be bleeding.
47:28Yeah.
47:28Now, Jeffrey, who are you most passionate about this week?
47:31Raja is an undeniable favorite.
47:34I was so impressed with the acting challenge.
47:37She just gave flavors and layers that I had never seen of Raja before.
47:42And the look tonight was sheer perfection.
47:44It was the She-Ra princess of power fantasy brought to life.
47:47I loved it.
47:48It was a great night for her.
47:50And, of course, that outfit, the way it sparkled, the silhouette, so unique, so otherworldly.
47:57All right.
47:58Silence.
47:58I've made my decision.
48:00Bring back my legends.
48:04Welcome back, ladies.
48:06Based on your performances in Fairytale Justice and your spiked runway presentations, I've made some decisions.
48:15The top two all-stars of the week are Jinx Monsoon and the Vivian.
48:30I'm finally a top all-star this week.
48:33Ah!
48:35I'm going to mark my diary.
48:36This was the day that I joined the club.
48:39Vivian, you earned a legendary legend star.
48:45Which puts you one step closer to our grand finale, lip-sync Lala Perusa Smackdown for the crowd.
48:53Jinx, you were blocked by Jada last week.
48:58So no star for you, darling.
49:01But you can still win $10,000 and the power to block one of your fellow competitors
49:09from receiving a legendary legend star next week.
49:14Don't block me.
49:16Ladies, the rest of you may take a seat.
49:19Are you sure?
49:20Yes.
49:20Okay.
49:21I'm going to stay up here.
49:25Two legends stand before me.
49:28Ladies, this is your chance to impress me, win $10,000, and earn the power to block one of your
49:36fellow queens
49:37from receiving a legendary legend star next week.
49:44The time has come for you to lip-sync for your legacy.
49:52Good luck, and don't fuck it up.
49:59Have a good luck, and might be perfect at that!
50:01Believe it! Believe it! Believe it! Believe it! Believe it!
50:06You've only fallen for a misery.
50:09Someone fight can make you crazy.
50:12You can really put your body to the test
50:17You've got so hard to make sure everything's right
50:20And you find your phone, they'll round up with a mess
50:24Love will always play the way
50:26When your battle will tear you down
50:31It might fight
50:35When you're feeling down and out
50:37And you've got trouble on your mind
50:39Love will save the day
50:42When your world's falling apart
50:44All you have to do is say a prayer
50:47Love will save the day
50:48Love will save the day
50:50Love will save the day
50:52I've always made a great part
51:00When your battle will tear you down
51:04It might fight
51:06It might fight
51:08When you're feeling down and out
51:11And you've got trouble on your mind
51:12Love will save the day
51:14Love will save the day
51:16Love will save the night
51:24Ladies, I've made my decision
51:33Vivian
51:34Congratulations, you're a winner, baby
51:39You won a cash tip of $10,000
51:44Jinx Monsoon, you are free to slay another day
51:49You may step to the back of the stage
51:53Well done, Jinxy
51:55Queens, please join the Vivian on the main stage
52:04The Vivian
52:05With great power comes great responsibility
52:09Using the platinum plunger
52:11Who's ready for me to pull the patch?
52:15Show us which queen you've chosen to block
52:18I feel the power of the plunger
52:21And it feels absolutely amazing
52:23I am ready as I will ever be
52:26To block somebody
52:36Do you want $200,000
52:38Or do you want a friend?
52:42You can buy friends
52:58Minet exchange has had that legendary legend star sat on her tit for three weeks
53:03And not one person's blocked her
53:05So, take the plunger
53:06And sit down
53:08I object
53:11You can object all you want, love
53:13It's yours
53:15Game on
53:16Monique
53:17Next week, you can compete and even win
53:21But the Vivian has blocked you
53:23From earning a legendary legend star
53:26Next week was a hot dog eating contest, right?
53:31Conjagulations, ladies
53:32And remember
53:33If you cannot love yourself
53:38How dare you go love somebody else
53:39Gotta get an amen over here
53:40Amen
53:40All right, another view to me