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00:01Oh la la!
00:04Hi, good morning, Mrs. Mickens.
00:06Bonjour, monsieur.
00:07What?
00:08Bonjour, monsieur.
00:10It's French.
00:11So is eating frogs, cruelty de geese, and urinating in the street.
00:15But there's no reason to inflict it on the rest of us.
00:18But French is all the fashion!
00:20My coffee shop is full of French's.
00:23And it's all because of that wonderful Scarlet Pimpernel.
00:26The Scarlet Pimpernel is not wonderful, Mrs. Mickens.
00:29There's no reason whatsoever to admire someone
00:31for filling London with a load of garlic-chewing French toffs,
00:34crying ooh-la-la and looking for sympathy all the time
00:37just because their fathers had their heads cut off.
00:39A cup of coffee and some shepherd's pie, please.
00:42We don't serve pies anymore.
00:45My French clientele consider pies uncool.
00:48Now, how do they think that a nation that eats snails
00:51and would go to bed with the kitchen sink if it put on a tutu
00:54is in any position that preaks Christmas?
00:56So what is on the menu?
00:57Well, today's hot choice is chicken pimpernel in a scarlet sauce,
01:01scarlet chicken in a pimpernel sauce,
01:03or huge suspicious-looking sausages in a scarlet pimpernel sauce.
01:08What exactly is scarlet pimpernel sauce?
01:10You take a large ripe frog.
01:13Squeeze!
01:14Yes, yes, all right.
01:16Ah, bonjour, monsieur.
01:18Sod off.
01:27Oh, sir, poor little Mildred the cat.
01:29What's he ever done to you?
01:30It is the way of the world, Baldrick.
01:32The abused always kick downwards.
01:33I'm annoyed, and so I kick the cat, the cat,
01:36pounces on the mouse,
01:38and finally the mouse bites you on the behind.
01:41And what will I do?
01:43Nothing.
01:43You are last in God's great chain.
01:45And that, of course, there's an earwig around here
01:47that you like to victimise.
01:49Baldrick, what's happened to your nose?
01:51Nice, innit?
01:52No, it isn't.
01:53It's revolting.
01:54Oh, I'll take it off then.
01:57Baldrick, why are you wearing a false boil?
02:00What are we to expect next?
02:02A beauty wart?
02:03A cosmetic verruca?
02:07It's a scarlet pimple, sir.
02:09Really?
02:09Yeah, they're all the rage down our way.
02:12Everyone wants to express their admiration
02:14for the great pimple and his brilliant disguises.
02:16They seek him here, they seek him there.
02:19Those Frenchies seek him everywhere.
02:21Is he in heaven or is he in hell?
02:23Then what's that revolting garlic smell?
02:26Baldrick, what has this fellow done?
02:28Apart from pop over to France
02:29to grab a few French knobs
02:31from the ineffectual clutches
02:32of some malnourished, whinging lefties.
02:35Taking the opportunity while there, no doubt,
02:37to pick up some really good cheap wine
02:39and some of their marvellous open fruit flans.
02:42Does anyone know?
02:43We hate the French.
02:43We fight wars against them.
02:45Did all those men die in vain on the field of Agincourt?
02:48Was the man who burnt Joan of Arc
02:49simply wasting good matches?
02:53Ah, His Royal Highness the Pinhead of Wales.
02:56You know, I feel almost well disposed towards them this morning.
02:59That a chump though he may be,
03:01at least he's not French.
03:04Un toast. Encore un toast, I say.
03:07Le Pimpernel Scarlet.
03:09Le Pimpernel Scarlet.
03:12Ah, Le Adenoir. Can I move in?
03:18This is a fellow to ask you, chaps.
03:20My butler. Terribly clever.
03:21Brighter than a brain pie.
03:24Ah, Blackadder.
03:24We're trying to guess who the Scarlet Pimpernel is
03:27so we can send him an enormous post-lauder
03:29to express our admiration.
03:30Any ideas?
03:31Well, I'm sure if you address the envelope
03:33to the biggest show-off in London,
03:34it would reach him eventually.
03:35Fish and pish.
03:36Dead zooks.
03:37Malarkey.
03:38How dare you say such a thing.
03:40Damn me, sir, if you're not the worst kind of swine.
03:43Damn that swine.
03:45I'm sorry, sir.
03:45I was merely pointing out
03:46that sneaking aristocrats out
03:48from under the noses of French revolutionaries
03:49is about as difficult as putting on a hat.
03:53Think me, sir.
03:53This is treason.
03:55The Scarlet Pimpernel's a hero
03:56and the revolution is orchestrated
03:58by a ruthless band of highly organised killers.
04:00Damn them.
04:01Damn those organised killers.
04:03George, if I remember rightly,
04:06we were just discussing the French Embassy Ball
04:08in honour of the exiled aristocracy.
04:10We certainly were.
04:11Where I intend to wear
04:12the most magnificent pair of trousers
04:14ever to issue forth
04:15from the delicate hands
04:16of Messrs Snipcock and Turkey,
04:18couturier to the very wealthy
04:19and the extremely fat.
04:21If the Pimpernel does finally reveal himself
04:23that they want to get caught out
04:24wearing boring trousers.
04:26Damn those boring trousers.
04:28Well, what say we bet
04:30your cockshaw domestic a thousand guineas,
04:33he can't go to France,
04:34rescue an aristocrat
04:35and present him at the ball.
04:38Ha!
04:39That's damned you white, hasn't it?
04:41That's frightened you,
04:42you lily-livered,
04:43caramel-keepied, custard-coloured can.
04:46Not so buoyant now, are you?
04:48Eh? Eh? Eh?
04:49On the contrary, sir.
04:51I'll just go and pack.
04:53Perhaps Lord Smedley and Lord Toppo
04:55will accompany me.
04:55I'm sure it will be a fairly easy trip.
04:57The odd death-defying leap
04:59and a modest amount of dental torture.
05:01Not to come.
05:02Oh no!
05:03Oh no!
05:04Damn!
05:04Damn!
05:05Any day now,
05:07I've got an appointment of my doctor.
05:10I've got a bit of a sniffle coming on.
05:12I can feel it in my bones.
05:13Dim bones, dim bones, dim.
05:16What about next week?
05:18Oh, come on you touch,
05:19get your tires out, come on.
05:20All right.
05:21Damn!
05:22Damn!
05:22I've left it behind.
05:23He has.
05:24And besides, I've just remembered,
05:25my father's just died.
05:27I've got to bid his funeral in ten minutes.
05:30Damn sorry.
05:30Goodbye, your highness.
05:32Um, dem.
05:34I'm the best man.
05:36Dem, dem bones, dim.
05:39See you at the ball.
05:42Oh, what a shame they were so busy.
05:44It would have been lovely to have had them with us.
05:47Us?
05:47Yes.
05:48You're coming, sir?
05:49Oh, certainly.
05:50Ah.
05:51And nothing I can say about the mind-bending horrors of the revolution could put you off?
05:56Oh, absolutely not.
05:57Now, come on, Blackadder, let's get packing.
05:59I want to look my best for those fabulous French birds.
06:02Yes, sir.
06:02The type of women currently favoured in France are toothless crones who just cackle insanely.
06:08I ignore that.
06:09They're just playing hard to get.
06:12By removing all their teeth, going mad and ageing 40 years.
06:16That's right, the little teasers.
06:17Now, come on.
06:18Um, I think a blend of silks and satins.
06:21I fear not, sir.
06:22If we are to stand any chance of survival in France, we shall have to dress as the smelliest lowlife
06:27imaginable.
06:28Oh, yes?
06:28What sort of thing?
06:29Well, sir, let me show you our Paris collection.
06:33Baldrick is wearing a sheep's bladder jacket with matching dungball accessories.
06:39Hair by crazy Meg of bedlam hair.
06:42Notice how the overpowering aroma of rotting pilchards has been woven cunningly into the ensemble.
06:48Baldrick, when did you last change your trousers?
06:50I have never changed my trousers, sir.
06:54You see, the ancient Greek, sir, wrote in legend of a terrible container in which all the evils of the
06:58world were trapped.
06:59How prophetic they were.
07:01All they got wrong was the name.
07:02They called it Pandora's box, when, of course, they meant Baldrick's trousers.
07:08We certainly can get a bit whiffy, there's no doubt about it.
07:11We are told that when the box was opened, the whole world turned to darkness because of Pandora's fatal curiosity.
07:17I charge you now, Baldrick, for the good of all mankind, never allow curiosity to lead you to open your
07:23trousers.
07:24Nothing of interest lies therein.
07:27However, Your Highness, it is trousers exactly like these that you will have to wear if we are to pass
07:32safely into France.
07:35Yes, well, you know, on second thoughts, I think I might give this whole thing a miss.
07:38You know, my tummy's playing up a bit.
07:40I wish, wish I could come, but just not pass with this tongue.
07:43I understand perfectly, sir.
07:44Also, the chances of me scoring if I look and smell like him are zero.
07:48Well, that's true, sir. We shall return presently to bid you farewell.
07:51Mr. B, I've been having second thoughts about this trip to France.
07:55No way.
07:56Well, as far as I can see, looking and smelling like this, there's not much chance of me scoring either.
08:03Well, Blackadder, this is it.
08:06Yes, sir.
08:06If I don't make it back, please write to my mother and tell her that I've been alive all the
08:10time.
08:11It's just that I couldn't be bothered to get in touch with the old woman.
08:13Well, of course, old man. It's the very least I can do.
08:16We must leave at once.
08:17The shadow's lentil and we have a long and arduous journey ahead of us.
08:20Farewell, dear master and, dare I say, friend.
08:25Farewell, brave liberator and, dare I say it, butler.
08:34Right, stick the kettle on, Baldrers.
08:36Well, aren't we going to France?
08:37Of course we're not going to France. It's incredibly dangerous, though.
08:40Well, how are you going to win your bet?
08:42As always, Baldrick, by the use of the large thing between my ears.
08:46Oh, your nose.
08:50No, Baldrick, my brain.
08:52All we do is lie low here for a week, then go to Mrs. Miggins's, pick up any old French
08:57aristocrat,
08:57drag him through a puddle, take him to the ball and claim our thousand guineas.
09:01But what if the prince finds us here?
09:03He couldn't find his own fly buttons, let alone the kitchen door.
09:08What a pair of trousers!
09:12I shall be the belle of the embassy bull.
09:15Now, how do you put them on?
09:16Black hat up!
09:18Oh, no, damn, he's gone to France.
09:20Well, I'll do it myself. Shouldn't be too difficult.
09:23Um...
09:24Uh...
09:28Well, Baldrick, what a very pleasant week.
09:30We must do this more often.
09:32Yes, I shall certainly choose revolutionary France for my holiday again next year.
09:37Well, time to go to work.
09:39Off to Mrs. Miggins's, to pick up any old French toff.
09:46What do you think that is?
09:47Well, if I was feeling malicious, I would say it was the prince still trying to put his trousers on
09:51after a week.
09:56Ah, Mrs. Miggins, I'd like a massive plate of pig's trotters, frog's legs and snail's ears, please.
10:02All drenched in your lovely scarlet pimpernel sauce.
10:05Not so hostile to the Frenchies now, Mr. B.
10:08Certainly not, Mrs. M.
10:09I'd sooner be hostile to my own servant.
10:13In fact, I came here specifically to meet lovely Frenchies.
10:17Well, vive to that and an eclair for both of us!
10:20Vive indeed. Now, what I'm looking for, Mrs. M.
10:22Is a particular kind of Frenchie.
10:24Namely one who is transparently of noble blood, but also short on cash.
10:28Oh, well, I've got just the fellow for you.
10:30Over there by the window.
10:32The comte de frou-frou.
10:34Ah, he's pretty down on his luck.
10:36He has made that horse's willy last all morning.
10:42We have stroked garlic.
10:47Now, you can have some lunch for it.
10:51Le comte de frou-frou, I believe.
10:55Do you speak English?
10:57A little.
10:58Yes.
10:59When you say a little, what exactly do you mean?
11:00I mean, can we talk or are we going to spend the rest of the afternoon asking each other the
11:03way to the beach in very loud voices?
11:05No, no.
11:06I can order coffee, deal with white earth, make sexy chit-chat with girls, that type of thing.
11:13Just don't ask me to take a physiology class or direct a light opera.
11:16No, no.
11:17No, I wouldn't.
11:18Now, listen, frou-frou.
11:19Would you like to earn some money?
11:22No, I wouldn't.
11:24I would like other people to earn it and then give it to me.
11:26Just like in France in the good old days.
11:29Yes, but this is a chance to return to the good old days.
11:32Oh, how I would love that.
11:35I hate this life.
11:36The food is filthy.
11:38This huge sausage is very suspicious.
11:41If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a hostage-
11:44Yes, yes, yes, sir.
11:46The plan is this.
11:47I have a bet on with someone that I can get a Frenchman out of Paris.
11:51I want you to be that Frenchman.
11:53All you have to do is come to the embassy with me, say that I rescued you,
11:56and then walk away with 50 guineas and all the volvons you can stuff in your pockets.
12:00What do you say?
12:02It will be a pleasure.
12:04If there's one thing we our circuits enjoy, it's a fabulous party.
12:09All the music, all the laughter.
12:12If only I'd brought my mongoose costume.
12:20Yes, well, obviously it hasn't really got going yet.
12:23I think that's a bit of an understatement, frou-frou.
12:25I've been in autopsies with more party artists.
12:28Don't worry, in a moment we will hear the sound of music and happy laughter.
12:38Good evening, Monsieur.
12:40Good evening, my man.
12:41Do you speak English?
12:43Little.
12:43Good.
12:44Well, just take me to the ambassador then, will you?
12:46Pardon?
12:47I have rescued an aristocrat from the clutches of the evil revolutionaries.
12:55Please take me to the ambassador.
12:58No, I won't.
13:01I am an evil revolutionary and have murdered the ambassador and have turned him into...
13:11Pate.
13:13Ah.
13:14And you, aristopig, are trapped.
13:17Pig, ha!
13:18You will regret your insolence, revolutionary dog.
13:21Dog, ha!
13:22You will regret your arrogance, royalist snake.
13:25Snake, ha!
13:26Look, I'm sorry to interrupt this very interesting discussion, but it really is none of my business,
13:29so I think I'll be on my way.
13:31Come on, Boric.
13:32Not so fast, English.
13:34In rescuing this, er, this, er, abwacked stinky weed, you are attempted to pervert revolutionary justice.
13:43Do you know what they do to people who do that?
13:47They're given a little present and allowed to go free.
13:50No.
13:51They're smacked and told not to be naughty, but basically let off.
13:54No.
13:54I think I know.
13:56What?
13:56They're put in prison for the night and brutally guillotined in the morning.
14:00Don't bother.
14:02Your little gnome is correct, monsieur.
14:05Gentlemen, welcome to the last day of your life.
14:09How dare you, you filthy weasel?
14:12Weasel, ha!
14:13You're one to talk, Aristo Warthog.
14:15Warthog?
14:16Ha!
14:16Ha!
14:16Excuse me.
14:18Look, a mate.
14:19Me old mate.
14:20We're both working class.
14:22We both hate these rich bastards.
14:23I mean, come on.
14:24Come on, me old mucker.
14:25Just, just let me go.
14:26You've got nothing against me.
14:27On the contrary.
14:29I hate you, English, with your boring trousers and your shiny connotator.
14:34And your ridiculous preconceptions that Frenchmen are great lovers.
14:39I'm French, and I'm hung like a baby carrot to the couple of people.
14:44Farewell, old mucker.
14:46And death to the Aristoes!
14:48Death to the Aristoes!
14:49Oh, shut up, mad brain.
14:52Monsieur, why do you waste your worlds on this, um, amnophia?
14:56This scarlet Pimpernel will save us.
14:58Ha!
14:59Some hope.
15:00The Pimpernel is the most overrated human being since Judas Iscariot won the AD 31 Best Disciple competition.
15:07Well, if he should fail us, here, I have these suicide pills.
15:13One for me, one for you, and one for the dwarfs.
15:20Say thank you, Baldrick.
15:21Thank you, Mr. Frooth.
15:23Nuh-uh.
15:25Ah, the Pimpernel!
15:27Hooray!
15:28Ah, the ambassador, hooray.
15:32Hmm, I've got nothing to do.
15:36So I think I will torture...
15:39You, Aristo Mongrel!
15:41Mongrel!
15:42Ha!
15:42I look forward to it, proletarian skunk!
15:45Skunk, ha!
15:46We'll see about that, aristocratic happy bottomless!
15:48Happy bottomless!
15:52I'm glad to say, I don't think you'll be needing those pills, Mr. B.
15:57Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick?
15:59Or are the words, I have a cunning plan,
16:01marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation,
16:05We certainly are.
16:06Forgive me if I don't jump up and down with glee,
16:09your record in this department is not exactly 100%.
16:12So what's the plan?
16:13We do nothing.
16:15Yep, it's another world beater.
16:19The way I haven't finished, we do nothing until our heads have actually been cut off.
16:26And then we spring into action.
16:30Exactly.
16:30You know how when you cut a chicken's head off, it runs round and round the farm?
16:36Yeah...
16:36Well, we wait until our heads have been cut off,
16:39then we run round and round the farmyard, out the farm gate and escape.
16:44What do you think?
16:45Yeah, my opinions are rather difficult to express in words,
16:48so I'd like to put it this way.
16:51Well, it doesn't really matter,
16:53because the scarlet pimpernel will save us anyway.
16:56No, he won't, Baldrick.
16:57Either I think up an idea, or tomorrow we die.
17:00Which, Baldrick, I have to tell you I have no intention of doing,
17:02because I want to be young and wild,
17:05and then I want to be middle-aged and rich,
17:07and then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending that I'm deaf.
17:12Just be quiet and let me think.
17:16I can't sleep, Mr Blackadder.
17:18I said shut up.
17:21I'm so excited to think that the scarlet pimpernel will be here at any moment.
17:25I wish you'd forget this ridiculous fantasy, Baldrick.
17:28Even if he did turn up, the guards would be woken by the scraping noise
17:31as he tried to squeeze his massive swollen head through the door.
17:35I couldn't sleep when I was little.
17:37You still are little, Baldrick.
17:38Yeah, well, when I was even littler.
17:41See, we used to live in this haunted hovel.
17:44Every night my family were troubled by a visitation from this disgusting ghoul.
17:50It was terrible.
17:52First there was this unholy smell.
17:54Then this tiny, clammy, hairy creature would materialise in the bed between them.
18:01Fortunately, I could never see it myself.
18:03Yes.
18:04Tell me, Baldrick, when you left home, did this repulsive entity mysteriously disappear?
18:10That very day.
18:12I think then that the mystery is solved, now shut up.
18:16Either I think of an idea or tomorrow we meet our maker.
18:19In my case, God. In your case, God knows.
18:23But I'd be surprised if he's won any design awards.
18:28I've thought of a plan.
18:29Hooray!
18:30Also, I've thought of a way to get you to sleep.
18:32What?
18:36Morning, scum.
18:38Did you sleep well?
18:39Like a top, thank you.
18:41But by Jiminy, you must be feeling thirsty after your long night's brutality.
18:45Drink?
18:46No, merci. Not while I'm on duty.
18:49Perhaps later.
18:51For you, monsieur, there is no later.
18:54Because, gentlemen, I am proud to introduce France's most vicious woman.
19:00Unexpectedly arrived from Paris this morning.
19:02Would you please welcome Madame Guillotine herself?
19:11Are these the English pigs?
19:13Yes, that's us.
19:15Leave them with me, monsieur ambassador.
19:17I intend to torture them in a manner so unbearably gruesome.
19:21Even you will not be able to stand it.
19:23I don't think I will have a problem, madame.
19:25No, you will be sick.
19:27What if I stay for the first few minutes and then I leave if I'm feeling queasy?
19:30No, you will be sick immediately.
19:32What if I'm sick quietly in a bag?
19:35What is in your mind?
19:36I don't know.
19:38I don't know.
19:39I don't know.
19:40I don't know.
19:43So, scum, prepare to be in pain.
19:49Yes, certainly.
19:50But first, perhaps a toast to your beauty.
19:55Oh, thank you.
19:56Okay.
19:58Yes.
20:00So I expect you are expecting to be rescued, huh?
20:04Some bloody hope.
20:05On the contrary, I'm just sorry I'm so late.
20:08What?
20:10Yes, gentlemen, I have come to take you to freedom.
20:13Hooray!
20:13My God, Smegley!
20:15But I thought you were an absolute fathead.
20:17No, just a damn fine actor.
20:19Thank God I got here before you took any of those awful suicide pills.
20:27Yes, I suppose if someone had taken one and wished that he hadn't, he'd be able to do something about
20:31it.
20:31No, no, they're very odd things.
20:34The symptoms are most peculiar.
20:36First of all, the victims have become very, very depressed.
20:40Oh, God!
20:42But this whole revolution is so depressing.
20:44I mean, sometimes I wonder why I bother.
20:46I mean, I'm so lonely and nobody loves me.
20:48And after the depression comes death.
20:50No, after the depression comes the loss of temper, you stuck-up bastard!
20:54What are you staring at?
20:57And after the temper comes death?
20:59No, after the temper comes the, um...
21:03Comes the, um...
21:05Forgetfulness?
21:06Yes, that's it.
21:07Comes the, uh...
21:08Forgetfulness.
21:09Yes, yes, right in the middle of a, of a thingy, you completely forget what it was you...
21:15Oh, nice pair of shoes.
21:16And after the forgetfulness, you die.
21:18Oh, no, I forgot one!
21:20After the forgetfulness comes a moment of exquisite happiness!
21:23Jumping up and down and waving your arms in the air and knowing that in a minute we're all going
21:27to be free!
21:28Free! Free!
21:29And then death?
21:31No, you jump in a corner first.
21:35Hooray! It's the Scarlet Pimpernel!
21:38Yes, Maldrick.
21:39And you killed him!
21:41I mean, what's the bloody point of being the Scarlet Pimpernel if you're going to fall for the old poison
21:47cup routine?
21:48Scarlet Pimpernel my foot. Scarlet git more like it.
21:51Wait, here's our chance to escape.
21:53What about Mr. Fru?
21:55Forget Fru-Fru.
21:56I wouldn't pick my nose to save his life.
21:59Ah! Ah!
22:00Fru-Fru, my old friend and comrade.
22:02What are you doing here?
22:03I escaped?
22:04What happened here?
22:06Oh, uh, nothing.
22:07Nothing?
22:07Uh, I thought for a moment the Scarlet Pimpernel had saved you.
22:16Ah, chaps!
22:17Good to see you.
22:18Just trying on the new trousers.
22:19I return, sir, as promised.
22:21Plus one top French aristocrat, fresh from the Bastille.
22:25Ah! Pleased to meet you, monsieur.
22:26Do sit down.
22:27Damn sorry about the revolution and all that cape.
22:31Almost awfully bad luck.
22:32So tell me, Blackadder, how the devil did you get him out?
22:34Sir, it is an extraordinary tale of courage and heroism which I blush from telling myself,
22:39but seeing as there's no one else...
22:40I could try.
22:42We left England in good weather, but that was as far as our luck held.
22:45In the middle of Dover Harbour, we were struck by a tidal wave.
22:49And I was forced to swim to Boulogne with the unconscious Baldrick tucked into my trousers.
22:54Then we were taken to Paris, where I was summarily tried and condemned to death,
22:58and then hung by the larger of my testicles from the walls of the Bastille.
23:02It was then that I decided I had had enough.
23:06Bravo!
23:07I rescued the Count, killed the guards, jumped the moat, ran to Versailles,
23:12where I climbed into Mr. Robespierre's bedroom,
23:15leaving him a small tray of milk chocolates and an insulting note.
23:18The rest was easy.
23:20That is an incredible story!
23:22Worthy of the starlet Pippinel himself!
23:24Well, I wouldn't know.
23:26Aye, on the other hand, what?
23:29Because you sit there.
23:37Aye, on the Scarlet Pippinel.
23:40Uh-oh.
23:42Good Lord!
23:44Chopper!
23:45Yes, your hand.
23:46Well, he gads on by Jingo with dumplings, steak and kidneys and a good solid helping of sprouts.
23:50I can't believe it!
23:52You're the fellow who has single-handedly saved all those damn Frenchies from the chop?
23:56Not quite single-handedly, sir.
23:58I operated with the help of my friend, Smedley.
24:01But he seems to have disappeared for the moment, slightly mysteriously.
24:06Shut up, Baldrick.
24:09So, Blackadder rescued the starlet Pippinel?
24:12No, sir, he did not.
24:14Eh?
24:14Prepare yourself for a story of dishonour and deceit that will make your stomach turn.
24:20Well, I say, this is interesting, isn't it, Blackadder?
24:24Not only that, but I trust it will lead to the imprisonment of a man who is a liar, a
24:29bounder and a cad.
24:34Well, bravo!
24:35Because we hate liars, bounders and cads, don't we, Blackadder?
24:38Generally speaking, yes, sir.
24:40But perhaps before Lord Topper starts to talk, he might like a glass of wine.
24:45He's looking a little shaken.
24:48Shaken, but not stirred.
24:51It all began last week.
24:53I was sitting in Mrs. Miggins' coffee shop when...
24:57Oh, God!
25:00All this treachery is so depressing!
25:03I mean, the whole thing makes you so incredibly angry!
25:08It just makes you wonder...
25:10Nice waistcoat, Your Majesty.
25:14I'm sorry, I've completely forgotten what I was talking about.
25:17Erm, a story of dishonour and deceit.
25:19Oh!
25:19That's a great story!
25:21That's great!
25:22Well, that's a wonderful story!
25:24Let me just dump it in this corner first.
25:29Roast my raisins!
25:30He's popped it!
25:32I say, Blackadder, do you think he really was the starlet Pimpernel?
25:35Well, judging from the ridiculous ostentatiousness of his death, I would say that he was.
25:40Well, then, that's a damn shame!
25:41Because I wanted to give him this enormous postal order!
25:44Lisa, let me finish.
25:46I would say that he was...
25:48You see, the scarlet Pimpernel would never ever reveal his identity.
25:53That's his great secret.
25:54So what you're actually looking for is someone who has, say, just been to France and rescued an aristocrat.
26:01But when asked, are you the scarlet Pimpernel, he replies, absolutely not, sir.
26:06Wait a minute!
26:07Blackadder, you've just been to France?
26:09Any rescued or French aristocrat?
26:11Oh, Blackadder, are you the scarlet Pimpernel?
26:15Absolutely not, sir.
26:17Hurray!