00:00Is this your first plant?
00:01Uh, yeah, why?
00:01Okay, because I'm partial shade, and this spot's straight-up full sun.
00:04Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.
00:05Nah, it's cool, man. I just assumed you knew how to read.
00:07What?
00:07My text says partial sun, and I didn't realize you were illiterate.
00:10Oh, no, it was just an accident.
00:11An accident that nearly cost me my life.
00:13Is this better?
00:14Up a little.
00:14Okay.
00:14Down, down, down, down.
00:15Like that?
00:16A little more, a little more. Yeah, that'll work for now.
00:18You, uh, want some water?
00:19Nah, I try not to touch the stuff.
00:21Oh, uh, okay.
00:21Dude, I'm joking.
00:22Oh.
00:23Why would I not want water? I'm a plant.
00:24Are you cool with tap water?
00:25Are you cool with government mind control?
00:27I don't know what you're talking about.
00:28Hello, fluoride.
00:29My water comes from a well.
00:30Okay, just give me a taste.
00:31Bright and fruity with an earthy finish.
00:33You want some more?
00:34Yes, waiter.
00:34I'm not a waiter.
00:35Whatever, just fill it up with regular.
00:36Okay.
00:37Ah, that is the spot.
00:38Ah, wait, that's too much!
00:39I'm sorry.
00:40Oh, what were you thinking?
00:41How can I fix this?
00:42You really can't.
00:43Oh, no.
00:43Take a message back to the plant shop.
00:45Okay.
00:45Tell my wife I love her.
00:46All right.
00:46And to take care of the triplets.
00:47Uh-huh.
00:48Especially Tommy with his nitrogen deficiency.
00:50Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
00:51Psych!
00:52I just made all that stuff up.
00:53What?
00:53Well, why would you do that?
00:54Eh, it's just a game we play with first-time plant owners.
00:56That's pretty messed up.
00:57Dude, don't be a Viola Retrochiana.
00:58What?
00:59A pansy.
01:00Now, crack open that window.
01:00I need some air.
01:01Okay, sure.
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