#TheGrandTour #OneForTheRoad #ClarksonHammondMay #FinalLap #ZimbabweSpecial
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
After 22 years of automotive mayhem, the trio—Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May—have reached the end of the road. In their final special, "One For The Road," they head to Zimbabwe in three cars they’ve always wanted to own: a Lancia Montecarlo, a Ford Capri, and a Triumph Stag. We dive into the most emotional moments, the stunning African landscapes, and the legacy left behind by the men who changed car television forever. Goodbye to the best car show in the world.
#AmazonPrime #CarReview #JeremyClarkson #RichardHammond #JamesMay #AutomotiveHistory
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MotorTranscript
00:28You
00:31You
01:19Welcome to the grand tour and in this week's program I drive a saloon car
01:31James drives a catering lorry
01:35And Richard has a knife fight
01:38Let's dance
01:42That is all to come but first of all let me talk you through where we are it's South Africa
01:47over there in the distance you can see
01:50Johannesburg but this place here is called the cradle of humankind now it's called that because
01:57Archaeologists have determined it was on this very spot that mankind separated from the ape
02:08Well I mean
02:17You've learned to put socks on but other than that
02:20Listen I'm trying to be profound here okay
02:23I'm trying to be profound because this is ground zero this is where all of human history began anyone who
02:29comes here
02:30It's like coming home
02:32Jeremy what how long has it taken some of us to evolve from being apes then
02:38It's taken two million and a hundred
02:56And it's because while the rest of mankind has managed to grasp the concept of arithmetic the president of South
03:04Africa Jacob Zuma
03:06Well how can I put this he sort of hasn't I got a clip here show you what I'm on
03:11about
03:12We announced that our membership figures
03:16stood at seven hundred and sixty nine eight hundred and
03:27Seven hundred
03:29Listen properly
03:31Seven hundred and sixty nine thousand eight hundred and twenty
03:45I mean honestly
03:50Funny thing is
03:52Jacob Zuma is actually a bit of a controversial figure here he recently installed a swimming pool at his home
03:58And then because he'd used taxpayers money to do that he said it was actually a water storage facility in
04:05case of a fire
04:07So in other words if he burst into flames you could jump into it and put himself out in
04:11Ten hundred and three hundred
04:14Yeah, he's also got himself an ambulance
04:19Yep, can't be too careful
04:22Motoring in South Africa big problem here of course is the wildlife because how do you accurately warn motorists?
04:30That there may be a dearie thing ahead and that it could be full of helium
04:35Well the the authorities have had a go they've come up with this as a sign which is
04:40It's not bad except they got the word wrong
04:47What is it?
04:49It's not a baboon
04:49No it's not
04:50We're from England we know that's not a baboon
04:55Baboons are actually very dangerous here
05:00Certainly they've got a better idea of how to handle a gun than the local police
05:06Oh god
05:07Actually using that as a shooting stick
05:10Should we get on with the show?
05:12Yes, good idea, good plan
05:14Yes, let's
05:15And we start with Aston Martin
05:17Because the company must have had a meeting recently the bosses must have said it's going to be a few
05:21years now until the next Bond film is out
05:23So what are we going to do at Aston Martin to generate some headlines in the meantime?
05:27And what they must have decided is to make a car that is as good as a car can be
05:32Yeah, now they weren't talking about making a racing car because in racing there are rules about how big the
05:36engine can be and what sort of tires you can use
05:39Yep, and they weren't talking about making a road car because then it would have to meet emissions regulations
05:43It would have to have comfy rubber bits in the suspension and all that stuff would just slow it down
05:47Yes, exactly they wanted to make a car that adhered to no rules and no regulations
05:53So they have
06:03This is what they came up with
06:11It costs 1.8 million pounds
06:17And it's called the Vulcan
06:22Spectacular, isn't it?
06:28But not very practical
06:50Oh God!
06:52Ow!
06:52Ah!
06:58Oh God!
07:01How are you?
07:03No!
07:05Ah!
07:07Now I'm totally stuck
07:11Hell yeah!
07:15You will be able to edit this out, won't you?
07:17I don't want people thinking I'm fat
07:22Right, I'm going to pop it into gear now
07:24You may hear this a little bit
07:31Good, first
07:32Ah!
07:34Foot on clutch
07:35And now it's time to fire up the 7 litre V12
07:40No!
07:45No!
07:47No!
07:48No!
07:51No!
07:52No!
07:53No!
07:54No!
07:56No!
07:58No!
08:06No!
08:09It's quite normal
08:11When I got going
08:13When I got going things didn't get much better
08:20Even at slow speeds it is quite loud in here
08:24Which is why I'm wearing this silly face microphone seat and hear what I'm on about
08:30The noisiest part of this car, however, is not the engine
08:42That's the brakes
08:45They are quite squeaky
08:52Actually sounds like I'm stamping on a piglet
08:57And things get worse when you put your foot down
09:07I'm not going to say that it's like being attacked by a bear because it isn't
09:12But it is like being in a room with a bear that's thinking of attacking you
09:19And at the moment I've turned the engine down on this knob here to its minimum setting
09:26It's only producing 500 horsepower
09:30So it's not really the speed that's scary
09:34Oh God!
09:36It's the noise and the harshness and the vibrations
09:45It's not a very well equipped car either
09:48The windows don't wind down for instance
09:51There are no toys at all
09:53And you only get half a steering wheel
10:00However, there is one amazing thing you get for your 1.8 million pounds
10:05An all expenses paid trip to a racetrack of your choice
10:10Where an Aston Martin test driver will teach you how to drive your car
10:14Not with the engine wound down to 500 horsepower
10:17But with it turned up
10:20To the max
10:32Holy cow!
10:35Ah ha ha!
10:40The engine is now producing 820 horsepower
10:45And the speed just made us believe
10:52The car is in attack mode.
10:56The figures say it'll do 0-60 in 2.9 seconds.
11:02And that's a top speed of my 208 with that wing on the back.
11:07But it feels a hell of a lot faster than that.
11:10Oh, God!
11:20The other thing you get for your money is a squadron of mechanics.
11:27But sadly, not a handbrake.
11:33Right, what I've done now is I've taken...
11:35Yes, I've taken the steering wheel off,
11:37so I can't put it in gear to stop it rolling away.
11:41Oh, God.
11:46Arg! Arg! Arg!
11:51When I'd finally got it to stop,
11:54the jacks were deployed and the mechanics set to work.
11:58That's the thing about the Vulcan.
12:01Wing angle, roll bar, suspension, brakes.
12:04Everything can be adjusted to suit your personal taste.
12:09After ten minutes of pretending I knew what they were doing,
12:13I was back on the track.
12:19And the car felt just as bonkers as it had done before.
12:27However, I've changed.
12:30I've been driving this thing now,
12:33I don't know, three or four hours,
12:35and I'm starting to understand it.
12:38I'm starting to get used to it.
12:41I'm starting to trust it.
12:44Now I'm starting to understand
12:47why the Vulcan could go around the Nardo handling circuit in southern Italy
12:53nine seconds faster than the McLaren P1.
12:58Nine seconds in car time.
13:01That's a year.
13:08You get phenomenal mechanical grip in the low-speed corners,
13:12and then on the isn't straight,
13:14you've got a tonne and a half of downforce thanks to its aerodynamics.
13:21Then you have the power from the engine,
13:26which feels, oh, old-fashioned, proper.
13:31I'm surprised it doesn't have carburetors.
13:35I love this thing very much.
13:43And what I love most of all is that it's not a testbed.
13:47It's not an example of what cars will be like in the future.
13:52It's a celebration of what they were like in the past.
13:57What it is...
13:59is old-time rock and roll.
14:07Thank you, thank you.
14:10Thank you very much.
14:15So, what?
14:16I get the impression you quite like the car.
14:18Oh, it's unbelievable, that thing.
14:19What I love most of all is they've made it out of bits
14:22that they already had lying around in the factory.
14:24It'd be like you going home after your trip to South Africa,
14:26opening up the fridge,
14:27and using what's there to make a delicious shepherd's pie.
14:31What, some stale milk and an old piece of cheese?
14:33Yeah, exactly. You could...
14:34That's what it costs.
14:34And it costs, what is it, 1.8 million pounds?
14:37Yes.
14:37How much is that, Jeremy, in rand?
14:401030 million and a million.
14:41Is it?
14:43But...
14:44But for that, it does 0-60 in, what, 2.9 seconds?
14:47So it's nearly as fast as an Aventador or a K-Tram R600
14:51or an Aerial Atom V8,
14:53but much more expensive and not road-legal.
14:57Yes, thank you very much for relieving yourself
14:59all over my enthusiasm.
15:01You're welcome.
15:01It is a brilliant, brilliant car.
15:04And only one question now remains.
15:06How fast will it go around our track
15:08in the hands of a man who thinks that everything British
15:12is basically communist?
15:15Here he is.
15:17Looking a bit confused.
15:20All right, folks, let's see what this bag of bolts will do.
15:24And he's off and immediately on to the isn't straight.
15:29First corner coming up.
15:31And he's flat through there.
15:33That is ballsy.
15:34Changing down there for the second corner on the isn't straight,
15:38but now he can use full power.
15:40800 brake horsepower?
15:42Are you kidding me?
15:45Hard on the brakes for your name here.
15:49He has got to be impressed with this.
15:52About $50,000 if I can get one of my old trucks,
15:55NASCAR style.
15:57It's got 800 brake horsepower.
16:01Deer hunting.
16:02Got room for a couple deer in the back.
16:05I don't think you can put no deer in this thing.
16:07Plenty of deer to run over, though.
16:09Back on the isn't straight.
16:11James Bond drives one of these.
16:14Shit.
16:15Vin Diesel whipped his ass.
16:17Yes, I'm sure he would, but down into first.
16:22I don't know about this thing.
16:23Like a red-headed stepchild, I'm talking.
16:27Be damn ugly.
16:29I'm sure he's fully concentrating past old lady's house.
16:32He is flat out towards substation.
16:35It is bumpy here.
16:36And there's new tarmac on the apex.
16:38Will it kick the tail out?
16:39Yes, he does it, mate.
16:41He's OK.
16:42Into field of sheep.
16:43New sheep today.
16:44And there he is across the line.
16:48Heard a trap.
16:50Heard a trap.
16:51Heard a trap.
16:52Big cut.
16:53Anyway, we must now bring up the lapboard
16:56and find out how fast the American got round in the Vulcan.
17:00Let's have a look.
17:02Ooh, it's quicker than all.
17:03Oh, hello.
17:03Hello.
17:09Yeah, there you go.
17:11You see, old-time rock'n'roll has beaten rap and techno and R and B, and he's now at
17:21the top.
17:21Very good.
17:22Yeah, there you go.
17:23Well done, and thank you.
17:23And now we must move on, because it's time for us to take a gentle stroll down Conversation Street.
17:35Right, sticking with Aston Martin, they've teamed up with Red Bull Racing to create this.
17:41It's called the 001.
17:44OK, it has a V12, no turbos, none of that sort of hybrid witchcraft, yet it produces 900 horsepower in
17:52a car that only weighs 900 kilos.
17:57It's staggering.
17:58Well, more than staggering, that is actually a bit of a magic figure, because that means it has one horsepower
18:02per kilogram, and no other car gets close to that.
18:05Not even remotely close.
18:06The Vulcan's nowhere, and there's barely half that.
18:08It's staggering.
18:10The only problem I have with this, you just have to look at it, there's another angle we've got here,
18:14look at that.
18:15You know that car is going to be all about aerodynamics, and particularly downforce, and I hate downforce.
18:22Well, what do you mean you hate downforce?
18:24Because they tell you that you can go around a 90-degree bend at 100 miles an hour because of
18:29the weight of the air pressing down on the body.
18:31It's like having an invisible elephant.
18:35What if the elephant falls off?
18:37It's not a real elephant.
18:39You can't fall off.
18:40You can't see.
18:40How can you trust something you don't see?
18:42Wait, wait.
18:43No, I'm with him, because what if you drove through a sudden vacuum?
18:46Well, that's not going to happen either, is it?
18:48It's not a real elephant.
18:49Hammond, listen.
18:50There has to be a speed in a car with active downforce like that one, where you go around a
18:54corner too fast for the tyres, too fast for the mechanical grip, but not fast enough for the downforce to
19:00be working.
19:01So you'd have to say to the police, I crashed because I wasn't going fast enough.
19:06It's true.
19:07Potentially.
19:07Well, there's another point, actually, because the handling is going to depend on the weather, isn't it?
19:10Because if it's a really hot day, the air will be thinner.
19:14No, thicker.
19:14No, it's thinner on a hot day.
19:16That's why a helicopter can't...
19:17You see, I'd be messed up already, because I'd have the wrong...
19:19Well, I'm sorry, but that's the point.
19:19So you've got a really hot day, and you don't really want to be driving a car where whether or
19:23not you get round the corner depends on whether or not the sun's out.
19:26So you now want weather forecast to include cornering speeds.
19:29It's not just weather, altitude.
19:31You could drive that car around a corner at 100 miles an hour in Holland, sea level, but while we
19:36hit 6,000 feet up here, 6,000 feet up here, you'd barely be able to get round at 3
19:41miles an hour.
19:42You'd crash it into a tree.
19:43Or a visible elephant.
19:44They are real.
19:45They are real.
19:46They are real.
19:47Exactly.
19:48I just...
19:49Honestly, downforce...
19:50I don't like...
19:51Coming to trust something you can't see, it's like North Korea.
19:55Or the contraceptive pill.
20:01What's an overshare?
20:02Okay.
20:03There's actually another hypercar I want to draw your attention to, replacement for the Veyron.
20:08That is the Bugatti Chiron.
20:10It's got a quad turbo 8 litre W 16 engine which every minute inhales
20:1613,000 gallons of air
20:19It's unbelievable
20:211500 horsepower and the top speed is limited to
20:25261 miles an hour. Yeah, they do say it would do 288, but that would be irresponsible on the road
20:32It's got diamonds in the speakers for better sound quality. Oh, see that's yeah
20:36I'll get you're like this at top speed the force on each tire is
20:403,800 G a man dies at 9 G if you drive the sheer on flat out
20:47It'll drain its tank in nine minutes
20:53Hang on a minute 261 miles an hour at nine minutes that means you'd have to fill up for fuel
20:57every 39 miles
20:59Yeah, well actually slightly less because you can't drive until you're in a you'd have to start looking for a
21:02petrol station
21:03So yes, James. It really isn't a practical car
21:07Gonna give me the most amazing stat though. It's not about the car itself. It's about the people who are
21:10buying them
21:11Okay, they've got 200 orders so far and the average person who's ordered one already has
21:1764 cars three helicopters three jets and one yacht
21:22Zuma
21:33Didn't say that she didn't say that should we move it up in South Africa, okay? There are 35 carjackings
21:40every day
21:42Every day every day
21:44I've got to say well done. That's an amazing finger. I can't believe you. That's just how have you got
21:49time to come here?
21:51Because you know you've got stuff to do one of it. They've all come here in someone else's car
21:55Oh, so you've already done
21:56I got it
21:57Well, what they don't realize is they're all walking home. Okay, anyway, um
22:00I've done a bit of research the most commonly jacked cars carjacked cars are the
22:06VW Polo the Toyota Hiace and the Toyota Hilux
22:09But those are all the best-selling cars in South Africa exactly the VW Polo is the best-selling car
22:13in South Africa
22:14So why would you buy a car which increases your chance of being shot in the head and your car
22:18being stolen?
22:19Why wouldn't you all just buy a car that nobody would want to steal yeah? No, cuz if I live
22:24here
22:24I'd get something well not one of those I'd get something like a beige Volvo estate. That's just a car
22:29you want
22:31To get your dream car
22:35Look Hammond, I've explained you to you before having a Volvo a Volvo estate is a bit like needing to
22:40go to the dentist
22:41It's gonna happen. You've got to get it though. Just do it
22:44Well, I don't want to just get it over with that's like going to the dentist and saying take all
22:48my teeth out because they're gonna fall out
22:49We'll go to that barbers. I'll just pull it all out. It's gonna fall out
22:53Doctor can you just stop me being able to retain my urine? It's gonna happen to I'm gonna bury myself
22:58and get it all over with
22:59Once that he has got a point seriously, let's enjoy it before we have to have the Volvo exactly
23:05But why do you all buy cars that you're going to get carjacked in has anyone got a Volkswagen Polo
23:10here?
23:11Well, how do you know that's what you think?
23:13Did you buy that for yourself?
23:15Your dad bought you a book
23:19Nice kid sort of madness is this
23:22Has anyone got a Toyota Hilux?
23:25Yeah, this is insanity yours
23:29What did you start out with this morning?
23:33It's unbelievable. Anyway, listen, we've got to move it on
23:36Because here in South Africa people have a very interesting approach to preventing car theft got a picture here of
23:41one man's solution
23:42Yeah, that's a python
23:44Yes, no, there's no question. It's gonna work. I would not steal a car that had that on the dashboard
23:50However, a pythons not like a burglar alarm. You can't turn it off
23:53No, when you come back to your car. How do you say to the snake? It's my car. Don't strangle
23:58me
23:58You can't
23:59I'm pretty sure you can't train a python. Can you know you can't that's why you never see sheep snakes
24:04or guide snakes for the blind
24:05They're never caught on it. Never happened
24:08I have to say though. I have to say in England. We've got an even more stupid solution
24:12Okay, this chap's come up with an idea called bike mine
24:15I've got a video of him here explaining how it works
24:18It can be attached quickly to protect almost any personal possession you store outside or in a garage or shed
24:24It's robust steel construction is covered in a rubber skin to protect your property
24:29Bike mine is safe because the detonators are self-contained
24:35Bike mine is reliable because there are no batteries to run down and only one moving part
24:49I can't understand is he said it could it could also be used to protect any other personal property you
24:54may have
24:54Well, like a ming vase
24:57Are you worried about your child being kidnapped simply hang this bomb around their neck?
25:03So moving on to Jordan weirdly where the government has just built a mock town so that special forces from
25:11all over the world
25:12Can turn up and have a competition to see which one is best
25:16Yes, and this year mr
25:18Willman who is the fat man who controls our lives decided that us three should go and take part now
25:24Obviously there'd be a lot of shooting and running about and doing somersaults none of which would we be any
25:29good at?
25:30No, but the SAS the world's first special forces unit was created to be fast to get into the battle
25:37quickly and then get out again
25:38So there would also be a lot of high-speed driving
25:42Yes, I know that is a bit of a problem. We'll gloss over that
25:44Anyway, we were sent out there and this is what happened
25:49This is it the special forces training base deep inside a man
26:11That the city obviously not not anyway arriving now to demonstrate what we'd have to do later a squad of
26:18special forces soldiers
26:21They exfoliated from a blackhawk helicopter on ropes and then fought their way through a terrorist infested building
26:34Their next task was to steal a car which they used to reach a hijacked airliner
26:43I
26:43Here they stormed the cabin killed the bad guys
26:49Rescued a vip
26:53There was then a high-speed car chase and a running gun battle as they escorted the rescued hostage to
27:00the safety of a nearby embassy
27:09That was quite impressive
27:11Well, it's not like they were using real bullets
27:13Yes, they were
27:14They were not
27:15They were
27:15Are you saying that on this, let's be honest
27:19Training ground people are allowed to run around with real bullets in these guns?
27:23Yes, rubbish
27:24And there you are real bullets
27:31No, I must just shoot myself
27:33Oh, yeah
27:34How did you do that?
27:36Well, because
27:37I'm an assault rifle
27:38Look, the bullets come out this side and I'm a left-handed shot
27:41So they just go up my arm, the casing, sir
27:43You're going to be rubbish at this
27:45Well, I'm not going to be able to use an assault rifle
27:48I'm not going to be able to storm that airline
27:50I'm not going to be able to get out of the helicopter
27:54Fearing that things may not go well, we were told to go and get ready
27:59And even that was fraught with difficulty
28:06Why are you wearing white?
28:08Snow camouflage
28:09It has never ever snowed in Jordan
28:13I didn't know where Jordan was
28:15You're going to be quite visible
28:18At this point, we receive details of our mission from our boss, Mr. Willman
28:24Each time one of you is killed, you all have to begin again
28:29So it's like that Tom Cruise movie
28:32Um, Cocktail
28:34No, not Cocktail
28:36Or Rain Man
28:37This is going to take forever
28:47Nevertheless, we were soon in the helicopter on our way to the start of this important rescue mission
28:56Let's just get this straight
28:58When we get over the building, we leap out of the door
29:02And grab the rope slide down it
29:04Pretty much, yeah, that's it, that's how it goes
29:06You can be leader
29:08Get out there, show us how it's done, we will follow
29:11I don't want to
29:13I've never climbed a rope or gone down one in my life before ever
29:16What a time, get on with it
29:17Why don't you go first?
29:19I can't do that, I'm scared of heights
29:22Lead by example, be an inspiration to your men
29:26Yeah, exactly
29:27How high will it be?
29:3030 feet?
29:31Yeah
29:31You'll be fine
29:32What happens if you fell 30 feet?
29:35Would you be going home with a head wand?
29:37You'd be going home in this helicopter, but not in that seat
29:40You'd be in a bucket in the corner
29:51Okay, here it comes, let's do this
30:00Whoa! Jesus Christ, stop!
30:03Oh, shit
30:04I'm very scared
30:06Wait, that's not the attitude
30:08Go on then
30:09I don't like it
30:09Go down the road
30:10I don't want to do it
30:11Loosen your hands a bit
30:12I don't want to
30:13Do you want me to tickle you?
30:15You're going?
30:16No, no
30:16Well, go on then
30:23Abbott
30:24Yeah
30:24My trousers have fallen down
30:28Ladies and gentlemen, Chuck Norris
30:33Look, I'm down now
30:36Oh, yes
30:38I'd be rather
30:39In your whole life
30:41Seen anything
30:42I know I made that road thing look a bit difficult
30:51But actually, it's surprisingly easy
30:54So, why don't you go first?
30:57I've got a better idea
30:59What?
31:00Why don't you just land the helicopter?
31:02That is a good idea
31:03Helicopters can land
31:18Wait
31:19No, stop, stop, stop
31:21Hammond
31:22Right
31:22Listen
31:24You open the door
31:25And I'll throw this stun grenade in
31:27Got it
31:28In three
31:28No, wait
31:29Wait, wait, wait
31:29What?
31:30I don't know how it works
31:32Oh, for God's sake
31:34Hold your eyes here
31:35To your device
31:36Right
31:37You ready, Hammond?
31:39Yeah
31:39No!
31:42Come on
31:47He said it was a stun grenade
31:49I meant smoke
31:51I can't see a thing
31:54It's really nothing
31:56When the smoke finally cleared
31:58We started our sweep
32:01Shhh
32:02Right
32:02Wait
32:07Wait
32:08Wait
32:08Wait
32:08Wait
32:13Dog
32:13Dog
32:14Dog
32:15Help
32:15It means door
32:17There's a door
32:19There's a door
32:21It's not a bloody football, is it?
32:23You put your foot flat, that's how they'd make them...
32:26That's how you do it.
32:30It's empty.
32:31It's empty.
32:37It's empty.
32:41Soon, though, they were there.
32:52We are trapped in this room.
32:55Well, why don't we just go out of the window?
32:57We could go out of the window.
32:59Yeah, we could do that.
33:00Cover us.
33:01Yeah, I'll cover you.
33:04As Jeremy laid down covering fire,
33:08May and I climbed out of the window,
33:11but then there was a problem.
33:18I'm stuck.
33:19Well, push!
33:20Ooh!
33:24What?
33:24The terrorists are in the room.
33:27How do you know?
33:29They're doing things to me.
33:31Ooh, this is very uncomfortable.
33:33It's probably because you're so tense.
33:35Oh, James!
33:37What?
33:37Kill me.
33:39Shoot me.
33:40Gladly.
33:42God, please hurry up.
33:43Fully automatic.
33:45Er...
33:45Get on with it!
33:46God, give him the lot.
33:48In ten!
33:48No, James, not ten!
33:50All right, in...
33:51I'm not looking.
33:52...three, two, one!
33:58How did you miss?
33:59Well, it's true what they say about machine guns, isn't it?
34:01You can't hit a thing with it.
34:03What?
34:03Just kill me, dude!
34:05We're trying, it's not that easy.
34:07Hang on, I'm out.
34:08There's a shovel, hit me with that.
34:10Right.
34:11Do you want to say anything?
34:12Yes, final words, if I hate you.
34:14Do you know, I've dreamt about exactly this.
34:17Incoming!
34:23Incoming!
34:25We're trapped in this room.
34:26Well, why don't we just go out of the window?
34:28Do you mind if I go through the door?
34:33This is better.
34:38Heroically, we fought off all the attackers outside the building.
34:43But then we were pinned down by a sniper.
34:51James!
34:52James!
34:53What?
34:54Go down there and steal that Renault.
34:57Why?
34:57Because this is a car show, we need a motoring element.
35:01Good point.
35:01Go!
35:03Can you think of anybody on God's green earth
35:07less able to do this kind of thing than him?
35:12I mean, you can play the harpsichord,
35:14but that's not a skill we're going to need today.
35:17And he's been shot.
35:22James!
35:23What?
35:23Go and steal that Renault over there.
35:25Why?
35:26Because this is a car show, we need a motoring element.
35:29Good point.
35:31Can you think of anybody on God's green earth
35:34who's less able to do this sort of thing than him?
35:39Can you think of anybody on God's green earth?
35:43Can you think of anybody?
35:46Can you think of...
35:48James, you can't just keep doing the same thing over and over again.
35:53Now you'll miss eventually.
35:55Oh, God.
35:57Oh, for God's sake.
35:58There it is.
36:00Because Corporal Stubborn wouldn't budge from his tactic,
36:04Richard and I decided that on our next attempt,
36:06we'd go into battle with some new equipment.
36:11Go and steal that Renault.
36:34Go and steal that Renault over there.
36:38Go and steal that Renault over there.
36:55Go and steal that Renault over there.
36:57No.
36:58What do you mean, no?
36:59There's a garage over there.
37:00It'll have some vehicles in it.
37:02Oh, yeah.
37:07Now we're in a car show.
37:09Right, Jeremy, you go sort that sniper.
37:11Yes.
37:12We'll get these done.
37:13Good plan.
37:15Right, there's no keys.
37:17I'll hotwire it.
37:19Oh, there he is.
37:22Say hello to my little friend.
37:29Yes!
37:31Yes!
37:31What a shot!
37:33Oh!
37:34Oh!
37:34We'll never be able to do that again.
37:35Jeremy!
37:36What?
37:37James has electrocuted himself.
37:40Oh, what a f...
37:45Say hello to my little friend.
37:47Right, there are no keys.
37:49I'll hotwire it.
37:50Have you not seen every single movie ever made?
38:04Actually, he doesn't know where to put a gun.
38:07That is a bad mark for Audi.
38:11Sport.
38:13Drive.
38:13Traction control off.
38:15Here we go!
38:16MUSIC PLAYS
38:41Why...
38:41Why did your trousers fall down?
38:43Because there were so many grenades attached to them.
38:46and in the downdraft of the helicopter i was very brave doing that i was i'm sure i saw him
38:52crying
38:52they were tears of bravery oh that well-known expression they were tears of bravery anyway
38:58look there's a bit of a trend in south africa for making your own car and i'm talking about
39:01actually making a car from scratch from bits all by yourself and you've got an example here
39:05uh this man's built this one based around the engine in a few bits from a bmw 318r and i've
39:10got to say i think that's pretty cool it is it is there are lots of these i prefer this
39:15one which
39:16has also got a bmw engine a v8 but not the bodywork is made of denim man of exquisite taste
39:22yeah anyway
39:24i think the best of them all is so good we've actually brought it into the studio and look
39:28stand here it's unbelievable this it's a it's a replica of a mercedes c9 now that hammond was the
39:34car that won the 24-hour le mans race in 1989 and it's so amazing i've actually brought out the
39:41man who built it ladies and gentlemen give him a warm hand johann alkeman thank you so much for coming
39:50can i just ask can i just ask johann how did you get the styling to work well jeremy there
39:58was no
39:59drawings on the internet so um i got a book on the dimensions but
40:03the closest i could get was a 132 scale model so hang on so you measured your toy car yes
40:09multiplied it by 32 and built a full-size one yep you did that's how you did it and is
40:14it road legal
40:15fully road numbers everything yeah how long did you spend building this from start to roadworthy
40:22was 16 months right was there or is there a marriage to have survived this
40:27i'm just i'm just well i hope so my wife is here so it must be a good sign hello
40:32patient lady
40:35well it's a remarkable achievement and well done ladies and gentlemen
40:38john akerman thank you thank you that's brilliant now we're moving on to a great idea that richard
40:49hammond and i have had all by our own and it is brilliant it is it's called meeting james may
40:56you do something he doesn't want to do and we kick off with spinning it's a south african thing fairly
41:02simple you get an elderly rear-wheel drive car take it to a car park where you do donuts in
41:08it to a
41:08backdrop of strong rap music it's lively it's interesting and it's youthful it's everything he isn't
41:35well here we are then at one of joeberg's top spinning destinations the aptly named wheels
41:41and smoke arena and the object of the exercise as far as i can make out is to create smoke
41:52drive random around the arena until the tires go bang
41:58and then what's left of the tires i'll put on a bonfire over there just to make sure there's
42:02absolutely nothing left of them
42:13this is stacy and she's only about 17 i think now the word around here and the noise from the
42:20crowd
42:20says that stacy is actually very good at this but how the bloody hell would i know it's just a
42:24massive
42:25cloud of smoke with some headlights occasionally appearing in it to help me get into the spirit
42:33of things the organizers suggested i should become more involved
42:48look at the rev case in the red constantly
42:54i don't like the smell of tire smoke in the evening
42:58get back in
43:30go back in the car you
43:30yes finally
43:49i got 20 000 miles out of the last set of rear tires on my car
43:56so
44:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:21That is no police. Nothing.
44:24Just go out there and do that.
44:25Why are you trying to do that in England? Or anywhere?
44:27Or Australia?
44:29Anyway...
44:30James May, was there any part of that that you enjoyed?
44:34No. Good.
44:35Yes, but now it is time for Celebrity Brain Crash.
44:46Now, after what happened last week,
44:48our guest this week declined our offer to arrive at the studio
44:52on a hovercraft saying she would prefer to walk.
44:56Yes, it's understandable.
44:57Yes, it is.
44:57I'm sure that despite this,
44:59you will still give her an enormous welcome
45:01because although she's now a major Hollywood star,
45:05she was actually born here in South Africa.
45:07Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...
45:09Charlize Theron!
45:13We must ask her about A Million Ways to Die in the West.
45:17I know.
45:17Oh, dude, I love that film.
45:18I love that.
45:19Well, what I really love is the way she looks in it
45:21because of the hat and the floated skin.
45:22Can you imagine she's on a bicycle as well?
45:24Oh!
45:28Oh, no.
45:30Oh, God.
45:32Oh, no.
45:33Ladies and gentlemen, Charlize Theron has been attacked by a lion.
45:37Oh, no.
45:38Literally nothing we can do.
45:41Does that mean she's not coming on, then?
45:44Well, she's been eaten by a lion.
45:47Well, look, are there any other well-known South Africans
45:50in the audience, maybe?
45:51It's not very likely, James.
45:52There's only two globally famous South Africans.
45:54One's now in a lion and the other's in prison.
45:57Well, let's get back to what we were doing.
46:01Now, earlier on, we were at a Jordanian Special Forces
46:04training base learning to be super army soldiers.
46:07And we pick up the action as we rush towards the hijacked airliner
46:11to rescue a VIP and take them to safety.
46:26Let me talk you through the plan.
46:29James and Richard will use the catering lorry as an assault vehicle.
46:34And then after we've rescued the VIP,
46:37we'll use the Audi as a getaway car.
46:45Now, what we're doing here very cleverly
46:48is we're going round the back of the plane
46:49because planes don't have rear windows or door mirrors,
46:54so they won't see us sneaking up.
46:56It's stealthy, you see.
46:59Right, Hammond.
47:00Yeah.
47:00Maneuvering in.
47:01OK.
47:02Dabber brakes.
47:07Right, we are in position.
47:09James is going to lift me on this platform to the door.
47:13Then we go in.
47:15Right.
47:16Are you ready?
47:17I'm ready to lower the jacks.
47:19Absolute stealth.
47:32I think the terrorists are going to notice this assault.
47:59Which is why I shall now cause a delivery version.
48:05I'm not going to make smoke and doughnut in front of the plane
48:08to distract the terrorists.
48:13Oh, no.
48:14This is a disaster.
48:16Even when you turn the traction control off,
48:18it isn't fully off,
48:20so you just get miles and miles of dreary understeer.
48:25Bad knock for Audi here.
48:30Come on!
48:33The only good thing is the terrorists will be looking out of the cockpit windows thinking,
48:37why is that Audi understeering around like that?
48:41Right, go now!
48:50Here I come!
48:52Try Hammond and Lexlip the dog of understeer.
48:57Oh!
49:11Chats, I have located the VIP,
49:14and it is the Queen of England.
49:16I don't like the royal family.
49:18James, now is not the time for your Republican views.
49:22Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force.
49:25We have an Audi outside.
49:27We will get you to...
49:31Why did he shoot Hammond?
49:33He's being annoying.
49:54Did you shoot May?
49:56Well, he shot me.
50:04Somehow in our next attempt, Hammond ended up on the wing.
50:10Oh, I see.
50:12You want to do this the old-fashioned way.
50:15Okay.
50:16Let's dance.
50:20Ah!
50:25Oh!
50:28Ma'am, we are an elite fighting force.
50:31We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety.
50:35And what do you do?
50:36I just said we are an elite fighting force.
50:39We have an Audi waiting outside to get you to safety.
50:41You'll like it.
50:42It's German.
50:43Like you are.
50:44Thank you, James.
50:45Are all the terrorists dead back there?
50:47Everybody's dead back there.
50:48Good man.
50:49Okay.
50:49Your Majesty, would you like to follow us?
51:01What was that?
51:02He's just shot the Queen in the back of the head.
51:05Well, now what are we going to do?
51:09Oh!
51:14Good.
51:15Go.
51:15I'll have it.
51:16Thank you very much.
51:19Having finally got the Queen into the car,
51:22we were now faced with a perilous drive to the embassy.
51:27However, this did at least mean I could get back to my day job.
51:33I'll talk you through the car.
51:35This is the S8 Plus.
51:38And the Plus means it has 80 more horsepower than the standard car.
51:42That means 0-60 in 3.8 seconds.
51:46It's top speed, 190.
51:49Oh, very interesting.
51:54The immense power is harnessed not only by all-wheel drive,
51:59but also by ceramic brakes and an electronic differential.
52:05There's a time and a place for talking about that stuff, mate!
52:08Sitting behind a six-foot, five-inch driver means that rear legroom is rather at a premium.
52:13Having said that, however, for a high-performance saloon, the ride quality is really rather good.
52:18Will you two stop reviewing the car?
52:24Do you have an opinion, the Queen?
52:26Not now!
52:31Hold it steady, I'm gonna shoot them!
52:36Shoot him in the face!
52:40You have your car on fire!
52:47Living Daylights, Transporter 2 and 3, Taken, Romain...
52:51Why are you listing films?
52:52Because all those films have big Audi saloon in them, going quickly.
52:57It is the car of choice for the Hollywood hero.
53:02Shut up!
53:07What's the top speed of that thing, James, do you reckon?
53:10What, 90 miles an hour?
53:11Well, here is a top tip for Hollywood heroes.
53:16If you're being chased by a car which is slower than the car you're in,
53:21simply drive faster than it.
53:25See, that's what Nick Cage ought to have thought about, really, in The Rock,
53:28and that man in Rome with the SA chasing the Citrus.
53:32Stop talking about films!
53:34There's a bogey waxing our tail.
53:37Oh, God!
53:37Gonna shoot his petrol tank.
53:39James, there's no point shooting his petrol tank.
53:41Petrol only blows up in films.
53:52Well, that's not strictly accurate.
53:54Where in the bloody hell is the embassy?
53:56Go down here.
53:59That is promising!
54:00There it is!
54:01There it is!
54:01There it is!
54:03Right, you get the Queen to safety.
54:05I'll cover you.
54:06Okay, I'm on it!
54:07Right, good.
54:08Go, go, go, go, go!
54:09Your Majesty!
54:11Really quick, Your Majesty!
54:16We've got C!
54:31Come on, Jeremy!
54:33Come on!
54:34I'm doing my best!
54:36Oh!
54:38It's the blast!
54:40I just keep moving!
54:45They've done it again!
54:47James, you're missing this!
54:49You cannot modernize the royalty, because royalty is, at the very best, a medieval concept.
54:56Oh!
54:57Oh!
54:58Oh!
54:59Oh!
55:02Oh!
55:02Oh!
55:04Oh!
55:07Oh!
55:07Oh!
55:11He's still going!
55:35James, he's dead!
55:39No, wait a minute – he's going again!
55:41He's moving again!
55:42James, he's dead!
55:43Jeremy, come on, you can do it.
55:44Come on, keep going.
55:46Come on, this is it.
55:48Hammond.
55:48There's the finish line.
55:50Am I going the right way?
55:51More or less.
55:52You can maybe roll over it.
55:54You can do it.
55:56Yes!
55:56We have done it.
55:58Oh.
56:02Have you come far?
56:15Unbelievable fighting force.
56:18We actually managed to complete that course in nine hours and 48 minutes.
56:23And that's only nine and a half hours slower than the actual soldiers.
56:28Can I just ask, how many times were you shot?
56:30What, on the run-in?
56:31Yeah, on the way to the embassy.
56:33Uh, 17 to the torso, two to the plumb's neck.
56:37Wow.
56:38And you lived?
56:39Well, obviously, James, yes.
56:40Look, I lived.
56:41Yep, he did.
56:42And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end.
56:45Yes, it is.
56:46Thank you so much for watching.
56:47See you somewhere next week.
56:49Goodbye.
56:50Goodbye.
57:12Bye.
57:15Bye.
57:18Bye.
57:22Bye.
57:30Bye.
57:30Bye.
57:31Bye.
57:32Bye.
57:32Bye.
57:32Bye.
57:32Bye.
57:32Bye.
57:33Bye.
57:33You
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