- 3 hours ago
مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 2
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:34Oh
01:11Alright son, this is an ordinary lawn tractor
01:14And we have to Tim Taylorize it
01:15So first, we gotta remove this puny
01:1812 and a half horse Blade-O-Matic motor
01:23Cause we don't want to cut
01:24Lawn maintenance time way down, so what do we need?
01:26More power!
01:30You learned well, my little one
01:31We're gonna replace it with this
01:34Because this is more power
01:41Wow
01:43Darn right, wow
01:45This is a twin-cylinder, 1600cc motorcycle engine
01:48Normally aspirated at 58 horsepower
01:50Your dad has poured and polished it, blueprinted the crank and balanced it all the way through
01:55It's got reverse gear, who needs it?
01:57Four forward gears and a suicide clutch
02:01On a good clear day, the ET on this bad boy should be under 15 seconds and a quarter mile
02:06We can do zero to 60 under 5.5 seconds
02:09We gonna race it?
02:11You bet
02:11As soon as we install this bad boy, we're gonna enter the Indianapolis 500
02:18By the time the rest of the pack catches us, we've won the race and mowed the infield
02:24You want me to get to a towel, Dad?
02:26Why would I want a towel?
02:28Wipe the grease off your hands
02:30Grease is our friend
02:32When you work on heavy-duty machinery, expect some grease in your hands
02:35As a matter of fact, you like grease all over
02:37Kind of like, uh, war paint
02:40Yeah
02:41Chief spark plug
02:44We're gonna need a variety of tools today
02:46So you want to make sure you get all your tools lined up with an easy reach
02:51What's this one?
02:54Ooh, man
02:56That's my Toland Precision Engine Air Torque Wrench
02:59See the gauge there? Measured pounds per square inch
03:02You use this for all your delicate bolts
03:04Like on the engine head
03:05And when you bolt the engine to the chassis there
03:07What's old?
03:08Oh, it's not old
03:10It's experienced
03:13This is the Yoda of my tool bench right here
03:18Man
03:20It's been in my family almost 20 years
03:23My dad gave it to me and someday I'm gonna give it to you
03:26Gee, thanks, Dad
03:28Give that, buddy
03:31Dad, to the heathens!
03:33And to all gladiators who jump on my couch
03:36Here's my stuff for the rummage sale
03:38Oh, good, good
03:40Spartacus, did you go through your closet yet?
03:42No, not yet
03:43Well, would you please turn off the TV and do that now?
03:46Mom, this is the bloodiest part
03:48Brad, this rummage sale is a fundraiser to get your hockey team new uniforms
03:51Now turn off the TV now
03:53Aw, man
03:56While Brad was watching television, I filled my box up to the top
04:01Thank you, Randy
04:02It's nice to know I have one perfect child
04:04I could do it again
04:06I filled my box up to the top
04:09Hey, hey, stop that
04:11If I hear any fighting, there's gonna be liver for dinner
04:20Hi, Mommy
04:21Look, I'm all greased up
04:23Well, how nice for you
04:25I think you missed a spot right here on your nose
04:29Good night, Mom
04:31So
04:33This is the slight adjustment to the riding mower you were talking about
04:37Slight 150 horsepower adjustment, huh?
04:44What do you think?
04:45Well, with that engine, you won't just be cutting the grass
04:48You'll be sucking it up by the roots
04:52Why do you always come out here and mess up my tools?
04:54I'm sorry
04:55I'm just looking for the duct tape
04:58It's not duck quack quack tape
05:00It's duct tape
05:02Like heating duct
05:03Well, excuse me
05:07Duct tape
05:11Excuse me while I rinse the side of my face off
05:17It's right over there on the pegboard
05:19The pegboard?
05:20What's it doing on the pegboard?
05:21Shouldn't tape be in a drawer?
05:23Jill, this is a garage, not fabric world
05:32In a shop
05:34Tape hangs on a hook
05:35Because it has a hole in it
05:37So does your head
05:38But it's not hanging on a hook
05:41Borrow the tape
05:42Promise me you'll put it back where it belongs
05:43Of course I will
05:44I always do
05:45Do you now?
05:46Yeah
05:46Recognize this?
05:49Spiral ratchet screwdriver
05:50Found it in the sink this morning
05:51What was that all about?
05:52Well, the ice was all stuck together
05:53And I needed something to break it apart
05:57You're pounding ice with this
05:58Yeah, it worked great
06:00Jill, this is a precision tool
06:02It's not an ice pick
06:03Tim, don't be silly
06:04Give me the tape
06:05Oh, no, no, no
06:06How would you feel if I attacked
06:07Your little opera record collection
06:09And used Madame Butterfly for a frisbee?
06:11You don't touch my records
06:12Right, because I respect your space
06:14That's your space, your zone
06:16This is my zone
06:17My sacred territory right here
06:19Oh, so, uh
06:20So this tool bench
06:22Is like your altar?
06:23This is where I pray to the tool gods
06:25Oh, yee-haw
06:28Gosh, you know, I am so moved
06:30I think that I should sing a chorus of Amazing Wrench
06:32Don't do this
06:35Amazing Wrench
06:36How sweet the sound
06:38Do you hear the laughter right here?
06:46Just promise me you asked me if you want to borrow a tool
06:49Okay, fine
06:50I want you to swear
06:51Oh, please
06:52Come on, humor me
06:52Tim
06:53It'll help me emotionally if you do this
06:55Come on, stand up
06:56Stand up?
06:58Stand up
06:58Put your right arm up
07:01Put your left arm
07:03Put your left arm on the tool
07:05The wrench
07:13Repeat after me
07:14I, Jill
07:16I, Jill
07:18I, Jill, swear on this Binford Cordless Ratchet Wrench
07:28Swear on this
07:29Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
07:30Binford Cordless Ratchet Wrench
07:34That I will never touch my husband Tim Taylor's tool bench
07:37Ever again
07:38Ever again
07:43Touched it
07:43Jill
07:44Touched it, touched it, touched it
07:47Can you feel the anger in this room right now?
07:51You have irritated the tool gods
07:55You must now be smeared with the holy grease of disdain
07:59Tim, don't you even think about it
08:02Tim
08:03Tim
08:04I'm no longer Tim
08:05I'm Zorthius, the tool avenger
08:10I'm Zorthius, yeah
08:19Oh, no
08:22Mark, honey, come on in here
08:23I have to wash you up for lunch
08:30Coming
08:34Yeah
08:38Have you seen my sneakers?
08:40Yes, they're in the trash
08:41You can't throw those away
08:43Honey, it wasn't my idea
08:46The sneakers begged me
08:47They did
08:48They
08:49Please, Mrs. Taylor
08:51Let us go
08:54We're old
08:55We're tired
08:56We smell
08:59Mom, these are my favorites
09:01Please
09:02Okay
09:04Duct tape them up
09:09Then you can have a month to say goodbye to him
09:11And then it's a new pair
09:13Thanks, Mom
09:13Okay
09:15Mark, honey, I thought you were helping your dad
09:17No
09:19Well, I know that he really likes it when you help him
09:22Maybe later
09:23I'm gonna go play with my truck
09:25Oh, okay
09:31I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:33I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:33I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:37I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:41I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:43I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:44I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:44I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:44I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:45I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:47I'm gonna go play with my dad
09:49I'm gonna go play with my dad
10:24Hey!
10:26How?
10:27So, what'd you do, join Hell's Gardeners?
10:33Pretty cool, huh?
10:35All you need is a tattoo born to mulch.
10:39Yeah!
10:42And honey, you know what?
10:44You could be my lawn mowing mama.
10:47You know, Tim, the only reason that you're doing all of this is because your mother wouldn't let you have
10:51a motorcycle.
10:52She never let me have a dog.
10:54You don't see me out here rewiring a Cocker Spaniel, do you?
11:03Where'd that go?
11:04What?
11:07My torque wrench is right here.
11:08You weren't out here this afternoon, were you?
11:10Why?
11:11I'm missing my torque wrench.
11:12I don't even know what a torque wrench is.
11:14You weren't cracking any ice today, were you?
11:16Oh, Tim, you don't crack ice with the wrench, you crack ice with the screwdriver.
11:22Cute, Jill.
11:24It's got to be in here someplace.
11:26I swear I have not touched any of your tools since I took the oath this morning.
11:31Always to ask, always to return.
11:33Well, somebody took it and didn't return it.
11:36Whoever that somebody is is going to be in big, big trouble.
11:48What's in this box?
11:49The wrench is not in there.
11:51That's stuff for the rummage sale.
11:52There's nothing but junk in there.
11:54Junk?
11:55What is that swivel-based cookbook holder I built you?
11:58Is it?
11:59I thought you said you lost this.
12:01Well, I guess you found it.
12:03Frankie.
12:07Look!
12:08Look!
12:10This is that hair dryer I rewired for you.
12:13Honey, I really loved it, but it melted all my hairbrushes.
12:17Don't throw it out.
12:17Use it for a space heater or something.
12:20Tim, Tim, stop it, stop it.
12:22Come on, honey.
12:22You're turning the whole house upside down.
12:25That wrench has got to be around here someplace.
12:27You know, it just didn't get up and walk away, Jill.
12:30Okay, you're right.
12:31I'm ready to talk.
12:33I sneak down here at night, take all your tools, go out to the backyard, put them in
12:39a big pile, and dance around them naked.
12:44What time would that be?
12:48Time right after you go to sleep.
12:50Tim, do you want this on regular cycle or fluff?
12:55All right.
12:58My tool.
13:00It's all busted up.
13:01The gauge is missing.
13:02The dial's all bent.
13:05How'd that get in the dryer?
13:07Well, give me three guesses.
13:09Yeah.
13:14Mark, why are you hiding back there?
13:19I'm not hiding.
13:20Yes, you are.
13:22What did you do?
13:24You swear you won't tell Mom and Dad?
13:27Yeah, we swear.
13:29Don't we, Brad?
13:30Yeah, we swear.
13:32So, what'd you do?
13:35I broke Daddy's torque wrench.
13:39Uh-oh.
13:42Whoa.
13:43That is bad.
13:45Real bad.
13:47He broke a tool, just like Peter.
13:50Who's Peter?
13:52He's our little brother.
13:53We used Dad before you.
14:02No.
14:04He broke Dad's flashlight.
14:06What'd they do with him?
14:08They traded him in for you.
14:11They did not.
14:15Nice knowing you.
14:17Maybe this time we can get a dog instead.
14:21Brad?
14:22Brandy?
14:22Mark?
14:23Where are you?
14:23What am I going to do?
14:25Keep hiding.
14:26They can't trade you in if they can't find you.
14:30Now, don't get crazy.
14:32Remember, it's just a tool.
14:34Just a tool.
14:3520 years of my family, just a tool.
14:37Are you looking for us?
14:39Yeah, front and center.
14:39Park it.
14:41We're missing somebody.
14:42Where's Mark?
14:44We haven't seen him.
14:46Now, boys, your father has something that he wants to talk to you about.
14:51Calmly.
14:55Which one of you lug nuts broke this torque wrench?
14:58Damn, easy, easy, easy.
15:00I didn't break it.
15:01You didn't break it.
15:02Who's left?
15:03Butch and Sundance.
15:06Why are you always blaming us?
15:08Because we're always guilty, aren't we?
15:11Some people think we're nice.
15:13Really?
15:14Name one.
15:15Billy's mom thinks we're a perfect little gentleman.
15:18Billy's mom thought she saw Elvis yesterday at the gas station.
15:28What do you know about the broken wrench?
15:30We think you should ask somebody else.
15:34Yeah.
15:35Someone short and seven.
15:43Wait, you're saying Mark had something to do with breaking my tool?
15:47Hey, we don't tattle on some brothers who happen to be hiding in the backyard like a coward.
15:59Hey, hey, hey.
16:00You're quite the climber there, little neighbor.
16:02Hi, Wilson.
16:03You playing hide and seek?
16:05Just hide.
16:06All right.
16:07Anybody in particular you're hiding from?
16:10My dad.
16:12Mark?
16:13Mark?
16:13Promise you won't tell him I'm here?
16:16Scout's on her.
16:17Mark, where are you, son?
16:22Hi, Wilson.
16:23I'm looking for Mark.
16:24Have you seen him?
16:25Well, as the old saying goes, Tim, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.
16:32Right, Wilson.
16:33I'm looking for my son.
16:34What I'm trying to say to him is sometimes to get what you want, you have to go out on
16:39a limb.
16:40I don't have time for this, Wilson.
16:43I'm looking for my boy.
16:45He didn't want me to tell you.
16:47What?
16:47He's up in the tree.
16:49Tim, I think he's pretty unhappy.
16:54Well, Wilson, if you haven't seen him, you haven't seen him.
16:56Thanks.
16:57Don't mention it, good neighbor.
17:00Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark.
17:02Sure gonna miss him.
17:03Probably ran away.
17:06Boy, he's the best darn assistant a dad could ever have.
17:13I don't think I could finish that mower without him.
17:17I don't think I'll be able to rewire anything ever again.
17:21Boy, could that kid grunt.
17:26No matter where you are, Mark, this one's for you.
17:35The tree just grunted at me.
17:37No, it didn't.
17:38Yes, it did.
17:39I heard it.
17:39No, Daddy, it's me.
17:42Mark, what are you doing up in the tree?
17:45I did something bad.
17:48You broke my tool, didn't you, Mark?
17:51It jumped right out of my hand.
17:55Shouldn't have been in your hand, though, right?
17:57I was just playing.
18:00We've been through this before.
18:02My tools are not your toys.
18:05I'm sorry I broke your tool.
18:07It was an accident.
18:13Accidents happen.
18:14It's not the end of the world.
18:15But when you break something with somebody else's,
18:18you gotta tell them.
18:20Please don't trade me away like you did Peter.
18:31Peter.
18:34The son, you fit it in for me.
18:38What are you talking about?
18:40The one who broke your flashlight.
18:42Don't you even remember him?
18:47Where do you get, I did...
18:50Let me guess.
18:53Brad, Randy...
18:55Book it!
18:57Mark, you want to listen to this good.
19:00I would never trade you for anything.
19:03Really?
19:05Really.
19:06Come here.
19:12You know that tape measure that you'd never find?
19:16Go ahead, tell me.
19:17You lost it.
19:18No.
19:19Brad, Randy, you broke it.
19:21Good to have you back, son.
19:25Honey, the moment we've been waiting for has finally arrived.
19:29Jim, you know, it's October.
19:30You really don't have to cut the grass now.
19:32Honey, I'm not cutting the grass.
19:34I'm just taking the Taylor 1600cc lawn chopper out for a test run.
19:39Honey, can't we just call your mother and ask if it's okay if you have a motorcycle?
19:43Jill, don't worry.
19:45Got a helmet, seatbelt, what could happen?
19:50Come on, Dad.
19:51Hurry up.
19:52All right, boys.
19:55Prepare yourself for new age and lawn maintenance.
19:59I think we all remember, you used to take Dad, hour, hour and twenty to do the lawn.
20:03This bad boy, minute five.
20:09I'll cut this thing so fast, he'll be afraid to grow.
20:14Honey, did you put hubcaps on the lawnmower?
20:17Yeah.
20:18Why did you do that?
20:20I don't know.
20:23Start the engine, Dad.
20:24Yeah, pop it.
20:25Yeah, pop it.
20:26Yeah, pop it.
20:27Fire it up.
20:28Stand back.
20:29I think this monster mowing machine is ready to come to life.
20:33All right, boys, inside.
20:34Oh!
20:35Hey!
20:35Hey!
20:36Go, go, go, go, go, go.
20:38You can't watch from the pit area.
20:41Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:48Gentlemen, start your engines.
21:00Fly home!
21:09I'm all right!
21:17Well, Al, now that we have the fitting in place between the two sections of pipe, what's the next step?
21:21Well, Tim, we'll be sweating the pipe.
21:22Will we?
21:23That's right.
21:24So, put a little deodorant right there in the elbow?
21:27I don't think so, Tim.
21:30We do need heat for this project, and for that we use the Binford Burn Blaster 2000 propane torch.
21:35Want to grab the torch, Al?
21:36Yeah, coming right up, Tim.
21:43Torch, please, Al.
21:45Give me a second, Tim.
21:47Al, we're on the air, Al. We need that torch.
21:50I'm looking. I'm looking.
21:52Al, this is a critical part of the show. Thousands of viewers waiting to see that thing.
21:55I'm trying, damn it. I'm only human.
22:01Oh, relax. Come on, Al. Oh, look. It's right over here.
22:06Folks, this is a demonstration. Don't try this at home.
22:09I, I hid the torch from Al.
22:12You what?
22:15Well, I, I, you know, I didn't mean to panic.
22:17You hid the torch?
22:19To make a point.
22:20And what point would that be, Tim?
22:23Well, you, you should always know where your tools are.
22:28Because otherwise you could get pretty irritated like you see in Newby.
22:32Go ahead. Light the torch, Al.
22:33Go ahead.
22:37Go ahead.
22:39No.
22:39What?
22:40What?
22:41No.
22:46No.
22:47Okay.
22:55No.
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