- 9 hours ago
مسلسل Animal Control مترجم - Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:03What is gout?
00:04Are you a 15th century British monarch?
00:06No.
00:07You don't have it.
00:09God, there's like 5,000 questions.
00:11You're a city employee now.
00:13Half your life is going to be paperwork.
00:14Congrats.
00:15Hey, is it okay if I put you down as my emergency contact?
00:19Well, since I'm the guy most likely to harm you,
00:21it seems like a conflict of interest.
00:23Truck 12, resident reporting problem with rabbits, 907 Maple Lane.
00:28Question, have subjects been observed as wascally?
00:34Are you going or not?
00:35Yes.
00:36We'll hop right on over.
00:38That's it.
00:39Get out.
00:40What?
00:41We talked about this.
00:42Two lame jokes before coffee.
00:43Get out.
00:43Wait, really?
00:44You were serious about that?
00:45That's a heart attack.
00:47Okay.
00:48Come on.
00:49You're taking this too far, Frank.
00:52You can come back!
00:54I learned my lesson!
00:57No jokes before coffee!
00:59No jokes before coffee!
01:29So I've been microdosing mushrooms for anxiety,
01:33but my rabbits have gotten into my special chocolate bars.
01:36Oh, that was faster than I thought.
01:38This gentleman's bunnies ate his drugs.
01:41They've been acting really aggressive.
01:44They look pretty chill to me.
01:46Yeah, but in a circling-the-wagons-conspiratorial sort of way.
01:52Look at them!
01:53I'm wanting something evil.
01:55Okay, so the rabbits are handling their hive better than their owner,
01:59but sure, we'll take them in for observation.
02:01Hey, hippies!
02:02Sorry, summer love's over.
02:04Time to sleep it off downtown.
02:07What is happening?
02:09What the hell did you put in those chocolates?
02:10Ow!
02:11Jeez!
02:12My God!
02:13Come on!
02:14Ow!
02:15Retreat!
02:16Retreat!
02:16Jeez!
02:17I told you, they're in a very bad headspace!
02:20What the hell did you put in those chocolates?
02:22I used to be a cop.
02:23I busted international crime rates.
02:26I'm kidding.
02:26I thought you were brave.
02:27You guys know about this taco truck up the street?
02:29The breakfast burritos?
02:30Four stars.
02:32What's over the first aid kit?
02:33It's killer bunnies on recreational drugs, bro.
02:36Really?
02:37What kind?
02:38You know, like basic floppy-eared...
02:39No, no, no, no, the drugs.
02:40What kind of drugs?
02:42I think it's like psychedelic mushrooms.
02:44The homeowner makes his own chocolates.
02:47Really?
02:47Did he mention if it was straight?
02:49No.
02:49Or if it was cut with purity tested MDMA?
02:51Did he mention those yet?
02:52Look, this isn't Bonnaroo.
02:54These rabbits are higher than my uncle at Thanksgiving,
02:56and they're calling the shots.
02:57Everybody relax, okay?
02:59I got a couple rabbits at home.
03:00I speak Fluid Bunny.
03:04I mean, you might want to film this.
03:05Could be a valuable teaching tool.
03:08Hey, guys.
03:09How are you doing?
03:11You know, I have two rabbits at home.
03:13Snowball and Batman.
03:15Yeah, we let the kids name them.
03:17And they are just as cute and adorable as you.
03:24Uh-huh.
03:24That's Phyllis.
03:25She's the mama.
03:26Oh.
03:27Oh, aren't you a little love muffin?
03:31Stop!
03:32Get off me, you man, you bitch!
03:34Hey, Shred.
03:34You're always trying to be smarter.
03:35Look up hoisted on one's own batard,
03:38and it will literally be a picture of this.
03:40Get out!
03:41Okay.
03:42Uh, should we call for backup?
03:44Yeah.
03:45Bunny, back up?
03:45Dude, do you have any idea the ridicule that will come our way?
03:48No.
03:49We got this.
03:51Cuddle time is over.
04:08Hey, so we're gonna need to collect the medicated chocolate for our vet so she can calibrate an overdose treatment.
04:15Right, of course.
04:16Anything to help.
04:18And, um, look, I know I shouldn't be messing around with drugs.
04:21I'm gonna turn over a new leaf right now.
04:23Yeah, drugs are bad.
04:26Uh, make sure you get all of them.
04:29You should be ashamed of yourself.
04:32No, I'm not.
04:33Not even a little bit.
04:34I suspect his vase contains psilocybin and 2CB.
04:37That combination is known to give you orgasms and make you feel like you've been launched into outer space.
04:42And rabbits have no business experiencing pleasure like that.
04:45Okay.
04:46Just remember, you promised to watch the kids this weekend, okay?
04:48And they were very excited.
04:49They picked out a movie and everything.
04:50Freaky Friday.
04:51It's a silly premise, but, uh, motion really sneaks up on you.
04:54Yeah.
04:54It does.
04:54I will be there.
04:56Okay.
04:56The chocolates are for tonight.
04:57Do you remember that guy I met in Costa Rica?
04:59Yeah, the yogi or the surfer?
05:01The yogi.
05:01So, he's in town, but he's only free for one night.
05:04Mm-hmm.
05:04He's really flexible.
05:05Just, like, not with his time.
05:08Right.
05:08Anyway, what are you guys up to for your big date?
05:10Oh, we're actually gonna go eat Swedish meatballs at IKEA and test out futons.
05:14I know it sounds pathetic, but I'm actually really excited.
05:16Maya and I, we haven't been alone together in, like, months.
05:18Yeah.
05:18Yeah.
05:19Don't be insulted, but I'm so glad I don't have your life.
05:21Well, you're tempting fate, because we could end up accidentally eating magic fortune cookies
05:27and end up switching places.
05:29Is that what happens in the movie?
05:31I don't want to ruin it for you.
05:32You just did that.
05:34You just, you, like, told me the ending.
05:35Maybe I didn't, though.
05:38Or maybe I did.
05:43Oh, at least it's Donut Wednesday.
05:49What abomination is this?
05:51Whose day is it?
05:52I want answers.
05:54I want revenge.
05:55Okay.
05:55But is it okay if I have some jicama?
05:57Because I love jicama.
05:58No.
05:59I want revenge.
06:00Shout it with me.
06:01Revenge!
06:02Revenge!
06:03Revenge!
06:03Make it sound playful.
06:04Pull some fury behind it.
06:05Revenge!
06:06Revenge!
06:07Revenge!
06:07Revenge!
06:08Revenge!
06:09I'm on the phone with my daughter's teacher.
06:14There's been a horrible accident.
06:16I gotta call you back.
06:17Revenge.
06:18Revenge!
06:18Revenge!
06:19Revenge!
06:20Okay, I proudly take responsibility.
06:22Donut Wednesday, Dolores.
06:24It's a sacred tradition.
06:25Handed down to us by the Romans.
06:27You defiled this holy tabernacle with your crudités.
06:30This is our tabernacle, Dolores.
06:32Okay, this office has a serious case of the late morning sugar blues, and someone had
06:37to intervene.
06:37How dare you act unilaterally?
06:40It's America.
06:41It's donuts.
06:43Shred, throw that away.
06:44Oh, come on.
06:44It's just a jicama stick.
06:45Throw it away.
06:46Spit it out.
06:47This is very disappointing.
06:48How's my favorite underperforming precinct doing?
06:51Aw, you sad, sad man.
06:54You drove across town just to make fun of us for the rabbits.
06:56What rabbits?
06:57I didn't hear anything about rabbits.
06:58Ha!
06:59Because there were no rabbits.
07:01Hey, Emily.
07:02Got your speech ready?
07:03Who told you about that?
07:05She's giving the keynote at the AACO luncheon today.
07:07Whoa!
07:08I don't know what it stands for, but congrats.
07:10Why didn't you tell us?
07:11I get a little nervous, so I just wanted to keep it under the radar.
07:15That's why I'm here.
07:16I spoke last year, and whoo!
07:19Stressful.
07:19And I know how much you hate public speaking, so...
07:22Yeah, but I've been practicing, so I think I'll be good.
07:24Of course.
07:26No worries.
07:26Only a couple hundred people in the audience, and they film it and post it on their website,
07:31and it's up there forever.
07:32So, nobody looks at it.
07:34Yes, they do.
07:35I watched your speech, Templeton, several times.
07:38So funny.
07:39Big fan.
07:40What kind of truck does a pig drive?
07:42A ham-bulance.
07:43Oh, that line killed me.
07:46Anyway, happy to step in for you, and I promise you, the audience will not be disappointed.
07:51Thank you so much.
07:52But shouldn't you be on patrol or something?
07:55Heading out now.
07:56Oh!
07:57What's that?
07:59Looks like I have an email that is stuck in my outbox.
08:04Boom!
08:05Fixed it.
08:06Enjoy.
08:08A gleefully vindictive message from Officer Templeton Dutch.
08:12That jerk got a hold of our body cam footage.
08:15Oh, he did know about the rabbits.
08:17Look at you guys running away from the little rabbits!
08:20We were regrouping!
08:22Are you-are you-are you-are you kidding me?
08:23What-what are these?
08:24Green peppers?
08:25Okay, I support healthy choices, Dolores, but it is Donut Wednesday.
08:29I am stressed and I need sugar.
08:32So you need to fix this.
08:35Revenge!
08:36Revenge!
08:41Hey.
08:42Hey.
08:43Try not to let Templeton get in your head.
08:45Oh, yeah.
08:46Uh, too late.
08:47Uh, he is, uh, he is in there.
08:48Okay.
08:49Listen.
08:50I used to get really nervous before big competitions.
08:52Like it got bad.
08:53So I remember my coach hooked me up with this sports psychologist who gave me some cool relaxation techniques.
08:58If you want to try.
09:00Okay.
09:01Yeah.
09:01Yeah, okay.
09:02Cause my heart is, um, really pounding.
09:04Okay.
09:05Um, so close your eyes.
09:07Okay.
09:07Take a deep breath.
09:09And imagine yourself on a mountain.
09:11Now you're about to start a race against this big ass Swiss dude.
09:15Wait.
09:15No.
09:16Sorry.
09:17Visualize yourself giving the speech.
09:19Love it.
09:20Confident.
09:20Calm.
09:21Looking super fly in your business suit.
09:23And the crowd is loving it.
09:26They're chanting your name.
09:28Emily.
09:29Emily.
09:30Emily.
09:31Well, it's a professional conference so there's not really a whole lot of chanting.
09:36No chanting?
09:37No.
09:37That's too bad.
09:38Okay.
09:40Then just visualize yourself absolutely crushing the speech.
09:44Okay.
09:46How's your heart rate?
09:50It is actually better.
09:53You're gonna meddle for sure.
09:59Oh, um, remind me, in my outfit you said I looked, um...
10:05Super fly.
10:06Super fly.
10:07Okay.
10:16Okay.
10:17Only one big question left.
10:19Who's going to step up and be my emergency contact?
10:23Don't you have family you can ask?
10:25My dad died and my mom moved to Florida, but she's got a sweet condo on the beach and she
10:30says anytime I want to bring down my emergency contact for a little sand and sea she has a
10:34room waiting.
10:35Oh, well I hope you and that guy without boundaries have fun with your mom.
10:39No.
10:40No.
10:40No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
10:42Guys!
10:43Who ate one of my chocolate bars?
10:45There were three and now there's two and they were hidden way at the back with my frickin' name on
10:50it.
10:50If your name's on it, that's sacrosanct.
10:52You can look that word up Shred.
10:54Sacrosanct.
10:54Although I did eat Patel's ice cream bar.
10:57What?
10:57Hmm?
10:58I was saving that for my end of the week treat.
11:00Oh, you were intolerable yesterday.
11:01It demanded a response.
11:03Why?
11:03Because I said the Mariners don't have a shot this year?
11:05Say it again and you can kiss your tuna sandwich goodbye.
11:07The Mariners don't have a shot this year.
11:09Oh, that tuna sandwich is gonna taste great.
11:10The Mariners don't have a shot.
11:11The Mariners don't have a shot.
11:20The Mariners don't need hallucinogenics.
11:21Have you seen Double Rainbow?
11:24Someone's about to be ten times more like that guy than that guy was.
11:26Hey!
11:27Did Emily make it back?
11:30Uh, I'm not sure.
11:31I was gonna give her a ride but she ran off after her presentation.
11:35Um, Cam, this way.
11:36It's just we're in the middle of a bit of a crisis.
11:38It's just weird because her speech went so well.
11:41She was funny, talking off the cuff.
11:44She even sang at one point.
11:46Oh, God.
11:48Emily ate the chocolate.
11:50All of it?
11:51It looks that way, yeah.
11:53Code Red.
11:54My Thin Mints are missing.
11:55Gone without a trace.
11:56She's binging.
11:57Actually, I threw the cookies out.
11:59You'll thank me later.
12:00Actually, I will not thank you.
12:01I will not thank you, Dolores.
12:03I want my own refrigerator.
12:06Okay?
12:07Dolores, I want my own refrigerator!
12:13So, who's your emergency contact?
12:15My father.
12:16Oh, I didn't know you were close with your dad.
12:18We're not.
12:18I hate that son of a bitch.
12:19Then why did you choose him?
12:21Well, if something happens to me, he's on the hook.
12:23With any luck, I'll be a vegetable requiring 24-hour care.
12:27That makes me sad, bro.
12:28My dad was my best friend.
12:30Yeah, of course he was.
12:31My only regret is I never got to tell him how much he meant to me.
12:34I mean, he probably knew because I told him I loved him every day.
12:37Except when my phone died, which happened a lot when I was competing in Europe because I didn't have the
12:41right plugs.
12:42Point is, don't leave things unsaid.
12:45Call your dad.
12:48You know they make those three-in-one adapters.
12:50They have for years.
12:52Really?
12:54Now I have two regrets.
12:56Truck 12.
12:57Bet Python escaped its enclosure.
12:597276 South Kenwood.
13:00And get this.
13:01It's J.T. Wallace's house.
13:03Holy crap, J.T. Wallace.
13:05Oh, who's that?
13:06Are you serious?
13:07The wide receiver for the Seahawks?
13:10In what world could I have been your emergency contact?
13:12Get out!
13:13Really? We're doing this again?
13:15Nah, I can't even look at you.
13:22Don't look at me!
13:26How the hell are we gonna find it?
13:28I don't know.
13:29It's just like looking for someone's lost mud.
13:30Oh, so we put out some beef strips and stand behind a bush.
13:34I know you're kidding, but do you have beef strips?
13:36Everything I was gonna eat today got senselessly ripped away from me.
13:38No, I don't eat gassy foods on six days.
13:41Oh, how's it going with the yogi, by the way? Do you like him?
13:43As a person?
13:45He's done so much healing.
13:46He's healed himself right out of an actual personality.
13:48But in bed, and I say this as someone with a sufficiently large sample pool,
13:53he's detail-oriented.
13:56I used to be detail-oriented.
13:58That was before I was tired all the time.
14:00Maybe you should try some of this.
14:03I'll give you a little.
14:04No, I can't eat that.
14:05Yes, you can.
14:06Give it a shot.
14:07It makes everything feel amazing, and you're not really doing anything different.
14:10It's almost like cheating.
14:11My life's not built for that.
14:13Every night, I'm taking a kid to the ER.
14:15We're talking another one down from a nightmare.
14:18Last night, it was global warming.
14:19I can't discuss polar ice caps all high and horny.
14:22Oh, my God.
14:23Is that Emily?
14:26Emily!
14:29Emily!
14:30Emily!
14:31Emily!
14:32Emily!
14:32Emily!
14:37Emily!
14:38Even Seahawk colors.
14:42Sheesh, she almost beat me.
14:43Yeah.
14:44Asher knows all the shortcuts.
14:46Hey, good luck with your girlfriend, buddy.
14:48I sincerely hope everything works out.
14:50Thank God you're here!
14:51Hurry!
14:54She was cleaning the cage.
14:57Holy crap.
14:58It's huge.
14:59Frank, have you ever dealt with something like this before?
15:01No, and I can't tell you how much, but something that's not nothing just slipped out of me into my
15:05underwear.
15:06It's getting tighter.
15:07Just remain calm.
15:08We're gonna unwind it from you, Shred.
15:10Grab the head.
15:11I'm not grabbing the head, man.
15:12It's scary and gross.
15:13The Seahawks have a very shallow depth chart.
15:15Now, grab the head.
15:16I'm not touching that thing.
15:17I was led to believe this job was mostly dogs.
15:19Help him!
15:20This thing is super strong.
15:21Grab something, Shred.
15:23Okay, but I'm closing my eyes.
15:25Is this a bad time to tell you that I'm a big fan?
15:27Yes.
15:27Okay.
15:28Well, it would just seem phony if I didn't say anything, right?
15:31Listen, man.
15:32You get this thing off me, I'll sign anything you want.
15:34Really?
15:35Yeah.
15:35What about a football?
15:36Yes.
15:36How about a jersey?
15:37Yes.
15:37A helmet?
15:38Yes.
15:38What about one of those breast cancer awareness hats?
15:40Anything.
15:41Yeah.
15:41Very collectible.
15:44Yeah.
15:45I thought I was gonna die.
15:48Okay.
15:49Yeah.
15:51It's on me now.
15:54If I don't make it, beat the Rams.
16:00Emily!
16:01Hey, how's it going, girl?
16:03Oh, man, you were really good out there.
16:06Were you playing high school?
16:07Yeah.
16:07What are you guys doing here?
16:09Oh, we just, uh, we just came to take you back to the office.
16:12To the office.
16:13Oh.
16:14No.
16:15I'm not going back.
16:17Yeah, I'm never going back.
16:20Bye!
16:21Oh, I hate running.
16:23Emily!
16:24I'm alive!
16:24Emily!
16:25Emily!
16:25My God, she's like a control!
16:26Hello!
16:27Emily!
16:27Guys, guys, guys, stop her!
16:29Oh, my whole body's buzzing!
16:31I've never felt more alive!
16:33Dude, that snake had plans for you.
16:35I'm in a brush with death on an encounter with a world-class athlete.
16:38Okay, that's obviously a little bit hurtful.
16:41I came in seventh at Pyeongchang, but I know it's a niche sport.
16:44Listen, don't get needy, but you were pretty good back there.
16:47Really?
16:47You're already being needy.
16:48I won't say another word, except that after this, I can't imagine being in battle with
16:53anyone else.
16:54Snake Brothers forever!
16:55I 100% did this to myself.
16:58Again?
16:59Give me those forms.
17:00What?
17:00What did I do?
17:01Give me those forms.
17:02You'll be my emergency contact?
17:03Gave them to me.
17:05Don't get hurt, because I'm pulling the plug for anything.
17:11All right!
17:12Woo!
17:13Woo!
17:14I'm finally coming out of my cocoon!
17:17You're high on drugs!
17:18No!
17:18I'm high on life!
17:20No, life can't do that!
17:21That's why we have drugs!
17:23Ah!
17:23Yes!
17:24No!
17:25No!
17:25Here I go!
17:29I mean, I went to Vienna once, but I mostly just stayed in the hotel.
17:34Like, what was I afraid of?
17:36Mm-hmm.
17:37I can't do this anymore.
17:39I am afraid of so many things.
17:42What does that mean?
17:42You can go.
17:43This is my fault anyway, and I've done this like a hundred times.
17:45But listen, if you need anything, anything at all, just don't call me.
17:51Bye, Emily!
17:52Oh, bye.
17:53Whoa!
17:53Yeah.
17:54You have gorgeous teeth.
17:58Okay.
17:59Wait, wait.
18:01Did you know I can name every country in South America?
18:05No, I didn't.
18:05Oh, okay.
18:06Um, I can.
18:08Okay.
18:08Venezuela.
18:09Yeah.
18:09Ecuador.
18:10I deserve this.
18:11Columbia, Paraguay.
18:13Columbia, Paraguay.
18:18Oh, look what the cat dragged down.
18:20It's nice to see you too, Dad.
18:22Look, um, I had a near-death experience today, and I don't know, I didn't want to die with
18:29things left unsaid.
18:31I'm listening.
18:33Anyway, I just want you to know that you're a terrible father who never had my back, and
18:38I want you to rot in hell.
18:43So that's it.
18:45Those are the two items.
18:47Well, look, uh, you came this far, at least come in and have a beer.
18:51Did you just hear what I said?
18:52Yeah.
18:53Bad father and, uh, the rotting thing.
18:56You want a beer or not?
18:58What kind you got?
19:00Rainier.
19:00I've been drinking the same beer since I was 12.
19:04You too good for Rainier now?
19:06I've always been too good for Rainier.
19:08What are you, like a hundred now?
19:10French Guyana, regular Guyana, Chile, Argentina.
19:15Hang on.
19:16I have to get that.
19:16Wait, no, please don't.
19:17No, you'll be fine.
19:18You'll be fine.
19:19Eat your cereal.
19:20Sorry, I don't have any milk.
19:21I know it's dry.
19:23Hi.
19:24Happy to see you.
19:25Yeah, you too.
19:27As a tantric exercise, I've abstained from sex for three months.
19:29I intend to focus all of that stored up energy on you.
19:33Surinam.
19:34I forgot Surinam.
19:36Who's that?
19:37Is she going to participate or just watch?
19:40No, there was an office fridge mix-up, and now she's in another dimension.
19:45I'm going to have to stay here and take care of her.
19:47But when she comes down, I could text you.
19:51Three months is a really long time.
19:53And I have a few other friends in Seattle.
19:56But I'll be back in August.
19:58Bye, Victoria.
19:58Okay.
20:00Bye.
20:00Cool.
20:02Can I tell you something?
20:04Yeah, of course.
20:06I only got my job because of connections in the mayor's office.
20:10So, I don't deserve it.
20:13I'm a fraud.
20:14That's not true.
20:14That's the drugs talking.
20:16Everyone thinks you're great.
20:18Really?
20:18Yeah.
20:19You're great.
20:21You're my best friend.
20:22Oh, really?
20:23Okay.
20:23That's...
20:24That's really nice.
20:26Hang on.
20:27Hello.
20:28You were right.
20:29These chocolates are a game changer.
20:32Maya called her mom.
20:33She picked up the kids.
20:34We got the whole night to ourselves.
20:36Wait.
20:36Are you seriously calling me post-six?
20:39Yeah, post.
20:40Pre.
20:40Pre-pre.
20:41You never know.
20:42Oh, Victoria.
20:43You're going to need to hold me.
20:44I'm starting to panic about climate change.
20:47Oh, my God.
20:48We ate the fortune cookies.
20:51Oh, and they were mighty delicious.
20:53Freaky Friday, baby.
20:56Always count on me.
20:58Hello, Mr. Mayor.
20:59Keep shining.
21:01Oh, keep smiling.
21:03Knowing you can always count on me.
21:07Everybody for sure.
21:08Oh, I'm going really, really wide with this.
21:10That's what friends are for.
21:12Adopt these dogs!
21:16Oh, my God.
21:16Oh, my God.
21:16Oh, my God.
21:17I'm I'm afraid.
21:17I know she works unless you're close.
21:18But I will pay attention, which is far from search when I choose my limit.
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