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مسلسل Home Improvement مترجم - Episode 5
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:34Oh
01:12Welcome to Tool Time
01:13The show that actually teaches you how to improve your home
01:15Morning, Al
01:16Morning, Tim
01:17Honey, I'm freezing cold
01:19Steal my hands
01:20Hey!
01:22I'll warm them here
01:23Slip me the Taylor Toast-o-matic oven
01:26Those babies are colder than witches
01:27Damn
01:30Honey, this is destined to become a classic
01:32What is this, the third time you've watched it?
01:34It's got everything, action, drama, latex painting
01:36God, I look good in that vest, don't I?
01:39No, really, honey, I'm so cold
01:41Would you go down and check the furnace?
01:43Because I think that the pilot light must be out
01:46You're saying lighting a pilot's a man's job?
01:48No, I'm saying it's your job
01:53Look, you're afraid to go down that deep, dark basement, aren't you?
01:56No, I'm not afraid
01:58I just don't like it, you know
01:59And the furnace goes whoosh
02:01All right, I'll light the pilot light
02:02If I get a big kiss
02:04Do I have to?
02:05You have to
02:06Okay, but only if I really have to
02:09Oh, gross!
02:10It's not even dark yet
02:13Ignore them, maybe they'll go away
02:15No, honey, you really
02:16You have to do the furnace now
02:19Because Mark's whole scout trip is coming over
02:21And I don't want a house full of little frozen cub sickles
02:24Right away
02:28Dad, Dad, check this out
02:29I can share a future with these cards
02:31A kid at school showed me how
02:33I got the three diamonds
02:35That means I'm gonna be rich
02:37Okay, fourth card from the top's your card
02:39Deal it, buddy
02:40One, two, three
02:42Ha!
02:44Ace the spados
02:45Read it and weep
02:47What?
02:49It's a death card, Dad
02:52Yeah, right
02:53Let me deal those
02:54And cut them like a man
02:59Okay
03:00Let's see it now
03:01Cars, cash, big homes, boats
03:05Death
03:07Double death
03:09Yeah, how long do you think I have?
03:11Long enough to light the furnace
03:12She's right
03:13We got work to do
03:14Down the basement
03:15Here's one day, boys
03:18You will have
03:19A cold woman of your own
03:21You have to learn how to light her furnace
03:23Come on, come on
03:24Down the basement
03:25Come on, guys
03:27Okay, guys
03:30Come on down to the basement
03:32The climate control central, our house
03:34Now watch what you're doing
03:35Oh!
03:38Oh!
03:40Oh!
03:45I want you guys to meet a friend of mine
03:47A Binford Volcano Master 5000
03:52A quantum leap ahead of the 4000 model
03:54Which we replaced earlier this year
03:56This is 150,000 BTUs
04:00What's a BTU?
04:02Technical term
04:07Yeah, but what's it stand for?
04:09U is because it's a unit
04:14B is because it's a big, beautiful Binford
04:16That's B
04:17T is heat
04:19Big heat unit
04:20That's what this is
04:24Dad, heat starts with H
04:25Give me that flashlight, will you?
04:27Dad, heat starts with H
04:29Heat ends with T, heat
04:31Heat
04:35Now, working on a furnace is a delicate operation
04:37Almost like working on a time bomb
04:39Wow, that's how he's gonna die
04:42He's gonna blow himself up
04:45Well, that's not how I'm gonna die
04:47Because your dad
04:48Is gonna practice
04:49Furnace safety tips
04:51Okay, access panel here says
04:54Press button
04:54Hold 15 seconds and
04:57Open your mouth
04:58Open your mouth
04:58So the shockwaves from the blast
05:00Will make your head explode
05:10Thirteen
05:13Fourteen
05:14Fifteen
05:16No explosion, no death
05:17Why?
05:18Why?
05:19Because your dad laughs in the face of fear
05:25Excuse me, fellas
05:26Jill, set it back to Otto
05:27And the heat is now working, hon
05:29What was that?
05:39Shh
05:41Be very quiet
05:43What is it?
05:47I think it's over there
05:49Behind the boxes
05:53Boy, I hope it's not that
05:54It couldn't be
05:55What?
05:57What?
05:58Yesterday at the zoo
05:59I read that a panther escaped
06:02I'm not kidding
06:05Don't make any sudden moves
06:07Just head toward the stairs
06:10It could be anywhere
06:13It could be
06:22It's just a mouse or something, Bob
06:24What if it's not a mouse?
06:27It could be a snake
06:28Hey
06:29There's nothing funny about snakes
06:31Don't joke about that
06:32There's nothing funny
06:33About slimy reptiles
06:35Nothing
06:37Hey, maybe it's a big-ass python
06:39Enough, enough
06:41It's a mouse
06:42A mouse
06:43Of course, it could be a huge one
06:46It likes to eat little kids like you
06:48Just
06:53Hey, hey
06:54Do I have to put in speed bumps?
06:57Mom?
06:58Yeah?
06:59What are we gonna make?
07:00I am going to have
07:02The whole scout troop
07:03Make their own paper bag masks
07:10Is that all?
07:12Billy's mom helped us
07:13Make a real TV
07:14She did?
07:16Yeah, and she made us
07:17Beef jerky from raw meat
07:21Billy's mom is a Stepford wife
07:24You're getting pizza
07:26And paper bag masks
07:29Well
07:30I guess I better put on my uniform
07:38Honey
07:38Mission accomplished
07:40Furnace is lit
07:41Operational
07:43That, however
07:44Is the good news
07:46The good news?
07:47What's the bad news?
07:48Well
07:48I can't tell you
07:50You'll probably go crazy
07:50Oh, please
07:51I never go crazy
07:53I found something soft and furry
07:55That rhymes with house
07:56Oh, God
07:57There's a famous one named Mickey
08:01It's a mouse
08:03Oh, God
08:05A mouse
08:05With beady little eyes
08:07And toe jammy little nails
08:11Jill, it's just a
08:12Little innocent thing
08:13Kim
08:14They are dirty
08:15They carry disease
08:16They eat garbage
08:18So do the boys
08:19You're not afraid of them
08:22Yes, I am
08:27You hear that?
08:29Tim, don't
08:31I thought I heard toenails
08:34Toe jammy things
08:35Stop it
08:36Just stop it
08:37They're so little
08:38And they're so quick
08:38They just run out anywhere
08:39And right at people's backs
08:40Like
08:43Hey, it's in the basement
08:44Get off the chair, please
08:46Will you please just call an exterminator?
08:50Exterminator?
08:51Yeah
08:51Pest control is my domain
08:54Termites fear me
08:56Mice whisper my name
08:58Hey, forget it
08:59The cheese
09:00Come back to the hole
09:00It's Tim
09:01Come on
09:02Come on
09:03He'll kill you
09:04He'll kill you
09:06I'll go see if Wilson
09:07Has any traps
09:07No, no
09:08Don't kill it
09:10From filthy little vermin
09:11To your fuzzy little friend
09:13Where did that start?
09:14Well, just because
09:15I don't like it
09:16Doesn't mean I want to see it dead
09:18Otherwise, I'd have set traps
09:19For your mother years ago
09:23The trap wouldn't stop her
09:28She'd just chew her leg off
09:34Wilson
09:35Hi-ho, neighbor
09:37Hey, Wilson
09:38Do you have any of those
09:38Humane traps for mice?
09:40Since when did you
09:41Become a trapper, Tim?
09:42Well, Wilson
09:42I think I heard a mouse
09:43In my basement
09:45And Jill got real freaked out
09:46Over that itty-bitty thing
09:47Can you believe that?
09:48Well, fear is perfectly natural
09:51Everybody's afraid of something
09:53What about you, Wilson?
09:55What are you afraid of?
09:56I do have one
09:58Underlying fear, Tim
10:01I'm afraid that reality
10:02As we know it
10:03Is someone else's dream
10:07When the dreamer wakes
10:08I'll no longer exist
10:16Wilson, I wouldn't share that
10:18With too many people
10:21Back to the trap thing
10:22Sure, good buddy
10:23So you said you heard
10:24Noises in the kitchen?
10:26No, in the basement
10:26In the basement?
10:28Yeah
10:29You've been hearing all sorts
10:30Of what, scratching noises?
10:31Well, kind of a more
10:33Of a rustling
10:35Rustling?
10:35Yeah
10:37Mm-hmm-hmm
10:39Tim, my boy
10:40I don't think you have
10:40A problem with mice
10:41Right
10:42No, no, no
10:43It sounds like
10:43You might have a snake
10:44Oh, God
10:46You're scared of snakes, Tim
10:48Oof, man
10:50Hey, snakes are supposed
10:51To live in the woods
10:52Well, this whole area
10:53Used to be woods, Tim
10:54But as man has taken
10:55Over his habitat
10:56They've become
10:57Suburban snakes
11:00Suburban snakes?
11:01Where they, like,
11:01Work here, commute
11:02Back to the woods?
11:03Is that it?
11:05No, they could be
11:06Right here, living
11:07In your own backyard
11:08Or somebody in the
11:09Neighborhood
11:10Could be breeding snakes
11:11All you need
11:12Is a cardboard box
11:13And a light bulb
11:13What kind of sicko
11:16Would breed snakes?
11:17Well, Tim
11:18Snakes are clean
11:19Low-maintenance pets
11:21Plus, they have
11:21A very firm
11:22Nutty-tasting flesh
11:28So, what's the deal?
11:30Are you gonna
11:30Set some traps?
11:31Wilson doesn't think
11:32We need one
11:32I'm calling the exterminator
11:36Why?
11:37He doesn't think
11:38We have mice
11:40Oh, no, it's a rat
11:42Worse
11:43Snake
11:44Snake?
11:45Where?
11:47Oh, no
11:48God, not a snake
11:50Wait a minute
11:52Didn't you tell me
11:53That you saw a mouse?
11:55Well, I didn't see it
11:56In the visual sense
11:57Well, you jerk
11:58You lied to me
11:59I didn't lie
12:00I was kidding
12:01Kidding?
12:02Mom, Dad
12:03Come look what I found
12:04Just a second
12:04Randy, just a second
12:05Kidding?
12:06You were just
12:06Torturing me
12:07With all those
12:08Mouse sounds
12:09Well, come on
12:10What's the big deal?
12:12Everybody likes
12:12To be scared
12:13It's fun
12:14Fun
12:15Dad
12:15What is
12:16God, look
12:18Holy
12:19I found a snake skin
12:22It's fun
12:23It's fun
12:28It's fun
12:29Dad, did you know
12:30The deadliest snake
12:30In the world
12:31Is a carpet viper?
12:32It has enough poison
12:33To kill ten men
12:35Brad, has that exterminator
12:37Found anything down there?
12:38Not yet
12:40Damn, honey
12:40What's taking him so long?
12:42Tim, we have a yard full of children
12:44We're supposed to be setting an example
12:46You've got to calm down
12:47Have a cookie
12:47Hot cookie?
12:49Hot cookie
12:49Sorry
12:50Yeah, the exterminator wants to borrow a screwdriver
12:54Well, you know
12:54Well, you're there
12:55In the top tray
12:55Open it up
12:56Get it yourself
12:56No
12:56You always say not to touch your tools
12:59You better get one
13:00What's he want?
13:01Standard, Davis, Phillips, Flathead, what?
13:21Flathead
13:21Did you tell me there's not a snake in this house
13:24Oh, it's probably moseyed on back outside
13:26That happens nine times out of ten
13:29Nine times out of ten
13:31Uh-huh
13:33What happens the other time?
13:36I tell you, it's funny
13:37Those snakes
13:39Yeah, they pop right up out of the strangest places
13:41Boy, I could write a book
13:43Oh, yeah
13:43Yeah, I've seen them curl up inside of, uh, teapots
13:49Oh, there's one time
13:50There's one time
13:51Pop right up out of the toilet
13:57Of course, like I said
13:59That's rare
14:01Besides, you don't have anything to worry about
14:02Judging from that skin your boy found
14:04It's not poisonous
14:05Well, I'll see you, folks
14:07Wait, wait, wait, wait
14:08Wouldn't you like to, uh, stay and have a cup of coffee?
14:11Sorry, ma'am, I've got lots of appointments
14:12Well, toodaloo
14:14Bye
14:15Mom
14:16Jimmy Waddener wants to go home
14:18Why?
14:19He got the death card
14:20Randy!
14:23Come on
14:24Don't be a weenie
14:25Everybody's gotta die somehow
14:27Hey, guys, get away from me
14:28Come on, go back in the house
14:29Go back in the house
14:32You all right?
14:33I don't wanna die
14:36You're not gonna die
14:38But I got the death card
14:39Don't forget the death card
14:41I got two death cards a day
14:42And I didn't die
14:43They were teasing you
14:44But I'm scared
14:45Oh, boy, come here
14:48Everybody's scared of something
14:50Are you ever afraid?
14:52My dad's never afraid
14:54He's the bravest man in the whole world
14:56You guys, Ollie, even brave guys get afraid
15:00You know, you know what a brave man does when he's afraid?
15:04What?
15:06He scares away fear
15:09Jimmy, you gotta be scarier than fear itself
15:12That's what you gotta do
15:13How do you do that?
15:15Well, look at me
15:16Get a real ugly face on
15:19Pretty ugly, huh?
15:21And you look at fear
15:22And you go
15:23You grunt
15:26Can you try that?
15:29Well, that would work if you had just a little fear
15:31Yeah, it's a big fear
15:32You gotta get a deep-down, manly grunt
15:34Mark, show him what I'm talking about
15:36See how scary that guy looks?
15:38You guys try it
15:43Very good and very ugly
15:44All right, try it
15:45Give me one good one
15:47I need a real good two in a row
15:51All right, three in a row
15:52Let's do it
15:54Come on, guys
15:56There's no fear here
15:58Get out of here, sir
16:03Mom, would you order pizza?
16:06Pizza!
16:08Hey, you guys stay out here and practice grunting
16:11I'll get the pizza
16:14Number for the pizza place
16:15By the phone
16:16Thanks, Jill
16:18Oh
16:22Hi
16:23How many pizzas will we need?
16:25Four large, but, you know, get different toppings
16:28All right
16:29I need four larges with two meat
16:31Hold on a minute
16:32Is anybody allergic to anything out there?
16:34Jimmy's allergic to everything
16:36A lot
16:37All right, all right, all right
16:39Apparently we need a big cheese pizza
16:41With decongestant all over it
16:44I'm kidding around, fella
16:47All right, two cheese, one with pepperoni and sausage on
16:49Ah, that's a snake!
16:51That is a snake in my house
16:53Right there
16:53That is a snake
16:55Okay, everybody, quiet down
16:56Tim, Tim, hang up the phone
16:58I'll call the exterminator on the other phone
17:05Why don't you get the snake out, Dad?
17:07Why don't you shut up, Randy?
17:09Shut up!
17:11Why don't you shut up, Randy?
17:13Why don't you shut up, Randy?
17:14Dad, just stick your finger in the way
17:16When the snake bites it, pull him out
17:20Can we talk for a minute?
17:21Maybe he didn't hear Dad the first time
17:23Shut up!
17:26Okay, I've got the exterminator on the phone
17:28But he says he can't come for an hour
17:29An hour?
17:30Where's he gonna crawl in an hour?
17:31Who knows?
17:32Okay, he says that you should look in the light fixture
17:35And see if the snake is still there
17:37Right
17:37Can I talk to him for a minute?
17:39Yeah
17:39Uh-huh, uh-huh
17:41Oh, you're right
17:42He says you're supposed to look in the light fixture
17:44And see if it's still there
17:45Me?
17:46Me?
17:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no
17:47I think you should do it
17:48I'm so busy right now
17:50Tim, get over there and look in that light fixture
17:52I don't want to
17:55Go here, Mr. Taylor
17:56You're not afraid
17:58Are you, Mr. Taylor?
17:59My dad's not afraid of anything
18:01Show him, Dad
18:02Show him you're not scared
18:11Let's get ourselves a snake
18:14All right, cutscouts, outside
18:17I'm sorry, I'm sorry
18:18You can watch your glass
18:19Thanks
18:19Yes, thank you, thank you, thank you
18:21All right
18:22Brad, I need a pillowcase out of your bedroom
18:24Hurry up
18:25Okay
18:25What do you say?
18:27Says
18:28Reach in that little tiny opening
18:29Get that little tiny snake by the back of his little tiny neck
18:33Pull him out of that little tiny hole
18:35And put him gently in a pillowcase
18:37You're gonna do that?
18:39That's his plan
18:40My plan?
18:44I'm gonna rip that light fixture right off that wall
18:48Shove that into a pillowcase
18:50All right, Brad, Brad
18:51Stand right there
18:52Under the light
18:53And I'll jump that snake right in there
18:55No way
18:57No way
18:59Come on, Randy, help me out
19:00Forget it
19:05Okay, I'll do it
19:07Does that make you happy?
19:08Your mom's doing it?
19:09It's fine by us
19:11Thanks
19:12Thanks, guys
19:19Ready?
19:21Ready
19:21Calm?
19:25No
19:25I can't
19:27No
19:47I got it
19:48I got it
19:49I got it
19:50I got it
19:52Yes
20:01There it is, boys
20:03Plan your work
20:04Work your plan
20:05The key to success
20:13Dad
20:13Yeah
20:15There's a snake behind you
20:17Oh, I bet there is
20:25Dad
20:25He's serious
20:26It's right behind you
20:28Does it have that
20:29Card of death in his mouth?
20:34You know, guys
20:35I fell for that trick this morning
20:37Toolbox
20:37Remember that?
20:38Huh?
20:39And you can take a practical joke too far
20:41You know that
20:41Dad
20:42We're not joking
20:43It's moving towards you
20:44Why don't I just open my shirt
20:45And let him crawl right in, huh?
20:51No, the snake wasn't in the bag
20:55The snake is in my shirt
21:09Here you go, Hunt
21:11Hey, thanks
21:13How are you feeling?
21:15Stupid
21:20Felt like a jerk
21:21In front of those Cub Scouts today
21:23Ah, they had a great time
21:24And they learned some
21:25Colorful new vocabulary
21:30Here, Dad
21:31I made this for you
21:32What is it?
21:34It's a snake badge
21:35For bravery
21:36Hey, that's very impressive
21:40Would you wear it on your TV show?
21:43You bet I would
21:45You're a good kid
21:47Good night, Dad
21:48Good night
21:50Good night, sweetie
21:53Good night, Mommy
21:57My youngest son gave me a snake badge
21:59For bravery
22:00Well, you did get rid of that snake
22:03Yeah
22:04But in all honesty
22:05I couldn't have done it
22:06Without you
22:06I think it's yours
22:08Well, we'll share it
22:10You know, I think we deserve
22:12A little pampering
22:14Hmm?
22:16How would you like to have
22:17A nice hot bath
22:19With bubbles?
22:20I'd like that
22:21Bubbles
22:44Go!
22:58Guys, no, we've already seen his hand, so he's going to open.
23:02Do it.
23:04Do it.
23:06Five.
23:06Five.
23:07Four.
23:08One.
23:15One.
23:16One.
23:18Five.
23:20Five.
23:28Two.
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