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00:16and this person has been stalking you yeah it's terrifying it was like a really fast escalation
00:28and he found it so quickly i was 16 when i met him and he was 24. it went from
00:36this ridiculous
00:38and weird harassment to i'm gonna kill your cat what else has he been willing to do
00:48i was young and a little bit boy crazy he is making me go to the bathroom with the door
00:55open i know
00:56that he's watching me through the day it's crazy i hope to meet you in the next life soon there's
01:03a
01:03chance that this guy is actually going to hurt me he sent me hundreds and hundreds of messages
01:10that were violent and gruesome and i said i'm gonna leave you and i thought that that was a good
01:17idea
01:18greek had been harassing me for eight years when i finally went to the police just went
01:26but there was this sigh of relief you're never gonna have to see this motherfucker again
01:37so
01:41so
01:42so
01:43so
01:43so
02:28And he had made me his profile picture.
02:32I remember like a sinking pit in my stomach.
02:36The messages just kept coming.
02:46And I decided it was probably time that I go to the police and get some help.
02:54He's threatening to kill me, kill himself, everything.
03:06For these local police who knew me, they'd known me since I was a child.
03:09They used to do talks at my primary school.
03:11So they looked at me with no bad intention, but they really were wanting to know how serious do you
03:20think he is?
03:22And none of us knew.
03:24So it was a real lack of education around the potential of this to escalate into something really violent.
03:39The guy that I was dating on the island over that summer, he came and had dinner with us.
03:44And we were just spending time at home.
03:49We have a beautiful view of the ocean.
03:51And we just had all the doors open and music playing.
03:53And I actually remember I posted on Facebook, just peace and quiet.
03:59And I meant it.
04:02Yeah.
04:17First time I reported to the police, there was a lovely woman at the front counter.
04:21And she listened and she said, don't worry, we will help you.
04:25And I felt the sense of relief.
04:27The police served Greg with a harassment warning letter and told him that he couldn't contact me for 12 months.
04:35And he stopped contacting me for under 12 months.
04:47Greg started trying to log in to my social media accounts.
04:52I had two-factor authentication on everything.
04:56He would attempt to log in hundreds and hundreds of times a day.
05:03My phone did not stop buzzing.
05:07Every time my phone lit up, I felt horrible.
05:11It was a reminder that somewhere nearby, he's thinking of me and he's trying to get under my skin.
05:23And it worked.
05:37I then went on holiday with my group of high school friends.
05:44It was such an amazing trip, but I felt distracted the entire time.
05:49I'll just message the police to say, Greg's back.
05:55When I opened my emails, I had 1,300 unread emails in my inbox.
06:02He signed me up to countless numbers of sign-up forms and he'd put messages in the name.
06:17Oh, I hate this so much.
06:19Two, I am consumed by the idea of stabbing your genitals.
06:24They were all violent, degrading, sexual.
06:29They detailed how he wanted to rape me and torture me and kill me.
06:38Following that, I reported at the police and took screenshots of all of these emails.
06:45And this one after the police got in touch with him.
06:48Hi, you think further involving police is a good idea?
06:52I did.
06:56I thought that this was such a clear violation of his criminal harassment warning.
07:02I thought, perfect.
07:07The police told me that it was going to be really hard to prove that it was Greg, because he
07:13wasn't emailing me directly.
07:16I felt like until Greg killed me, the police weren't interested.
07:42The police response I had was phenomenal.
07:49I got a text from a detective, which was, I think, the best text I've ever received in my entire
07:55life.
07:56Hi, Jazz.
07:57Peter has left NZ.
07:58Give me a call if slash when you're free.
08:00Thanks.
08:02It's over.
08:03It's done.
08:11It was literally less than 24 hours that Peter was out of the country that I see this petition that's
08:18been posted to make stalking illegal.
08:22Timing was insane.
08:24And I told my followers because the petition wasn't gaining traction yet.
08:29A couple of weeks ago, there was a man from literally the other side of the world that was messaging
08:32me about his obsessions with me.
08:34I'm sending some very scary messages and he then flew all the way to New Zealand to physically find me
08:39and he located me within two days.
08:42There's thousands of strangers that were commenting with their own experiences.
08:46And you just realise like, oh, this exists in our society everywhere, which is terrifying.
09:12Because even when the police ended up coming to our house and they were like, oh my gosh, our hands
09:16are literally tied.
09:16Like, yes, this is terrifying, this is terrifying, this is scary, but by law, stalking is not illegal.
09:25It's literally insane that you can do all of this stuff and it's not illegal.
09:30Stay safe and I love you guys.
09:33Stay safe and I love you guys.
09:34The response of people from outside of New Zealand being like, what do you mean that stalking is not illegal?
09:45That's when I found out that it's been illegal in Australia for like 20 years.
09:49Everywhere else seems to have these laws except us.
09:52Sure, the laws might not be like incredibly enforceable over there, but they have them.
09:56It's been kind of embarrassing for our country.
10:10I remember the day I was with my family and my new boyfriend.
10:17I had cooked a beautiful soup for dinner and I was babysitting my younger brother and his friend.
10:25And they were only seven at the time.
10:28And my father was going out to meet some friends for drinks at the local pub.
10:35I put the boys to bed, danced around the house and cleaned up and then we went to bed.
10:43And it just felt like a normal night, a normal summer evening with all the doors open and the wind
10:49blowing through.
10:50And it was late, her seven-year-old brother and his mate were sleeping upstairs when she and boyfriend went
10:59to bed.
11:01Lying beneath them, Bolter was waiting.
11:07We were lying in bed talking and just from out of nowhere I just felt this crack on the back
11:17of my skull and I was knocked out.
11:21And when I came to, I was feeling woozy and I stumbled back and turned on a light and he
11:33was right there.
11:35He was beating my boyfriend up.
11:41I thought he was dead and he just said, I bet you're happy to see me, bitch.
11:54I felt so much terror when I tried to scream, it didn't make a sound.
11:59I ran to the phone.
12:02When I picked up the phone, he cut the phone line.
12:07There was just a blank line.
12:12And then he grabbed me by the hair.
12:17I fought him.
12:19I fought him.
12:20Because I knew if I'd leave the property that I was, I really, really, truly believed that he was going
12:28to kill me.
12:33He kicked me in the head.
12:36And I just went out cold.
12:42And he took me into the bush.
12:53I'd only just gotten my life back.
12:55And this time he didn't convince me.
12:57This time he just stole me from my childhood home.
13:20I don't think I'd really have any thoughts in my brain.
13:22I'd just come here and try and, like, escape it for a bit.
13:31And just would write in my journal and think, like, he's somewhere.
13:42It takes me back.
13:44I feel like I'm her again.
13:50I felt so alone.
13:56I hate him.
14:00I can't wait for this to be a little.
14:10He'd been going for eight months at this point.
14:13non-stop, every day, threatening me.
14:18There was enough there, as far as I could see, for the police to act.
14:27No young girl, I would think, should be put through that without something happening.
14:33I mean, I don't want to be rude, really.
14:36Be rude.
14:38But what did the police do?
14:40I mean, what were they there for?
14:42I mean, you know, like, I thought that was it.
14:44I thought that was it.
14:45I know.
14:55Everything started to intensify.
14:59I think he was reaching a breaking point.
15:01He was running out of things to say.
15:07To, I've hurt the ones I love the most in anger.
15:10What do you think I'll do to someone who I hate?
15:13Your suffering will make me jizz.
15:14I'm not kidding.
15:16I jerk it to torture, and I'll enjoy raping you.
15:24He started indicating that he was coming.
15:31I'm coming soon, bitch.
15:32You're giving me no choice.
15:35He started saying that he was going to come.
15:38He was going to rape my mum and then kill her.
15:47And I remember being up at my flat and just thinking,
15:50oh my God, tonight's the night that mum's going to be killed.
15:58I remember feeling like a really, really, really bad daughter.
16:13I was forwarding those emails to the police and saying,
16:18I'm not feeling good about this one.
16:22And they didn't respond.
16:33I felt like my mum was going to be killed and it was going to be my fault.
16:51I quite literally can't believe that Greg is going to be arrested tomorrow.
16:54He's going to stop.
16:57And it's going to come to an end.
16:59I don't know what this feeling is.
17:01And I guess I'm not meant to, because you're not meant to go through this.
17:04Next month, there's eight years.
17:05Eight years of my life.
17:07And I just like, oh.
17:09Oh, the gin is great.
17:22Taylor Swift has got a stalker.
17:24I mean, this is the sort of thing that happens to we, you know, not people like us.
17:29So it's a really crazy situation to have happened.
17:32And in the weeks leading up to Greg's arrest, he escalated and started involving a lot of different people.
17:47One of the emails he sent was...
17:57Oh, God, it's so weird, isn't it?
18:00Well, one of the emails he sent pretending to be me said that I was going to kill everyone at
18:05my workplace.
18:10And so everyone at my workplace was advised to work from home.
18:18We were out of our depth with this whole thing.
18:21And that was just as...
18:23And we needed help.
18:24We needed guidance.
18:25We needed some...
18:27We really thought the police were going to give that to us.
18:33In the eight-month period that I was being harassed every day,
18:36nothing changed from January to the day Greg was arrested in August,
18:42except for me pleading desperately for that last month.
18:45How the fuck did all that happen?
18:48How did it not get nipped in the bud right in the beginning?
18:52And that's what I would have liked to have seen.
18:56I know.
18:57Who else do you turn to?
18:58We turned to the police and they didn't do anything.
19:00They made things harder.
19:02Because they made things harder because they gave us hope every single time.
19:05It was easier once they gave up hope.
19:07Because then you're just like, okay, fuck, we're on our own.
19:10At least we've just got to do it.
19:11You swear so much more now you've come back from London.
19:17Greg pleaded guilty this morning to all three charges.
19:23Hang on.
19:34I feel like it's been such a long time.
19:42It's crazy.
19:49Everything's going to be okay.
19:50It's done.
19:52He's guilty.
19:53It's not my word against his.
19:55He's admitted that he's done it.
19:59It felt so good.
20:00I thought, end of an era.
20:23It was a shock.
20:24You know, it's just something that doesn't happen on the barrier.
20:27It didn't take long for the word to get out that you had gone missing and you'd been taken.
20:31You know, and the team were out looking for you and that.
20:46The whole community came together and everybody was looking for you.
20:50Every single one of us were out.
20:56She's our family and I can't believe this bullshit's happening.
21:06Did you see my dad?
21:09Your dad had been here that night.
21:12He had.
21:13Yeah.
21:13He had been here.
21:14That's right.
21:15He had.
21:17Three hours later, her dad came home.
21:20I come in here, one step in.
21:21There's blood everywhere.
21:23There's blood on the walls.
21:25There's blood on the ceiling.
21:26I met him several times that day.
21:28You did?
21:29Yeah, I did.
21:29I think everybody was just up the walls and your dad was beside himself.
21:34He was like a man possessed.
21:36We're coming for you, kid.
21:38You fucking hang on.
21:39We're coming for you.
21:41But we'll be there.
21:42Get the fucking crew.
21:43We're coming.
21:44You can't bring it fucking back.
21:49The brilliant thing was that everybody believed that we would find you.
21:52And we're so proud of you.
21:54And we are so happy to have you back here.
21:58I hope that you can feel the love coming from all directions.
22:02Because it does.
22:04Yeah.
22:05It's brilliant.
22:06Come here to meet you.
22:11Have you seen Taken, the movie?
22:13No, I don't think so.
22:14Okay, there's this movie called Taken.
22:16It's got Liam Neeson in it.
22:17His daughter is kidnapped in Europe and she's on it.
22:19Oh, yes.
22:20And he's on the phone and he's like,
22:21I will find you and I will kill you, right?
22:23That's the barrier.
22:25The barrier was my Liam Neeson.
22:28Oh.
22:35I believe that he couldn't deal with the pain of me not wanting him.
22:57But when it came to the time that he needed to commit, he couldn't do it.
23:07But when it came to the time that he needed to commit, he couldn't do it.
23:17He tried to hurt me one more time really bad and he leant over me and he strangled me.
23:24And I remember as I was losing consciousness, I remember this fight in me that I just thought,
23:31no, no, you don't get to decide this.
23:39And I had been strangled to the point where I'd released bodily fluids.
23:43So I was right.
23:43I was about to die.
23:45And when I came to, I just knew in that moment I was laser focused.
23:50I am going home or you are killing me, but you don't get to decide that.
23:54I'm going to fight.
23:59I was gone for 36 hours and I was terrified.
24:08I thought that fighting him was the thing that would keep me alive, but I actually had to appease him.
24:20I knew that if he felt like he didn't have any other options that he would get desperate.
24:25And that wouldn't end well for me.
24:31He was violent when he felt rejected.
24:34He was violent when he felt like I didn't want to be with him.
24:47Every part of me was repulsed at the thought of talking to him as if I loved him.
24:53And I did that so I could survive.
24:58And it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.
25:06I convinced him that we would tell the police that someone else hurt me.
25:11We would be together.
25:20When I walked him out to the opening where the search party was, he realised that that wasn't the case.
25:28That I had fooled him.
25:30He started screaming.
25:33Babe, tell them.
25:34Tell them the truth.
25:36Tell them what happened.
25:38I didn't say a word.
25:40I just, I wouldn't look at him.
25:42I just closed my eyes.
25:47I got thrown in a car.
25:49And I just thought, good luck getting out of this one, buddy.
25:58He was crying and screaming and I had no sympathy.
26:06None.
26:07I didn't cry.
26:15I won.
26:17I won.
26:26I feel like there's a victory in it.
26:30He didn't get to win, you know.
26:33He can get fucked.
26:37Are you going to make me cry?
26:43Here.
26:51I'm happy.
26:53I'm happy that I'm here.
26:57I'm happy to be here.
26:58I don't take life for granted.
27:01Yeah.
27:04I'm so happy that you're here.
27:06I'm so happy that you're here.
27:15At Greg's sentencing, they walked him in, into his stand.
27:22And he couldn't even look at me.
27:26I felt like yelling at him and saying, look at me.
27:33You've had this power over me for so long.
27:38And now you're the one standing there.
27:40And this room of people are going to see you for who you are.
27:45This statement is my only opportunity to illustrate the wider picture of Greg's harassment.
27:51Greg's emails are extremely violent and sexual in nature.
27:54He details how he will vaginally and anally rape me and how he will enjoy doing so.
28:00And on occasion, how he will use a knife.
28:03How he will torture me.
28:04How he will murder me.
28:06How he will rape my mum.
28:07That he will kill my pets.
28:09How his harassment will never end.
28:11And he will murder my future husband and children in front of me to make me suffer.
28:16How my friends despise me.
28:18How he jerks to torture.
28:21And how the thought of stabbing your stupid fucking cunt consumes me.
28:26Due to Greg's harassment, I have suffered from anxiety, depression and body dysmorphia.
28:33And my weight reduced to an unsustainable and worrying 46 kgs.
28:43I cried so often that I had a chronic rash on my face.
28:51Due to New Zealand's inadequate protections, I have felt hopeless and helpless.
28:55As if no help could be afforded until Greg acted on what he threatened to do.
29:06I don't think there will ever be words to describe the impact it's had on me and continues to.
29:14It's life-altering.
29:16And it's debilitating.
29:19And it's devastating.
29:21And it robbed me of so many years.
29:25And I think that's the thing that, like, really gets me.
29:29Because I think about all the lost time that even we have had.
29:33And all the time that we should have just spent together, like, laughing and having a chance.
29:40Zeni, Farzana doesn't have any of it.
29:43And that's what breaks me.
29:45We are the lucky ones.
29:47We really are.
29:48You know.
29:49I know it sounds so silly, but it is a privilege to be here with you and to be able
29:52to talk about it.
29:54It is, yes, darling.
29:56Darling.
29:57I'm so grateful for you.
29:59Easy.
30:00It's just, it's like falling off a log, hon, being your mum.
30:03It's easy.
30:07Darling, darling.
30:08I mean, honestly, honestly, I can't tell you how good it is.
30:15I'm fine.
30:16Let me just pull myself together.
30:23Greg was sentenced to, I don't even know what, what was it, 12 months supervision and six months fucking community
30:30detention or something?
30:31So stupid.
30:33He was sentenced to 12 months supervision and six months community detention.
30:41When I left the courtroom, a couple of my friends joined us in the back garden and we had a
30:47gin and I checked my emails and there was an email sent minutes after the court hearing.
30:57He could have signed me up to it earlier and it could have been a crazy coincidence that it arrived
31:05at that time, but I'd never received correspondence from them.
31:11And I thought, oh, it's never going to end.
31:26The terror that I faced during those 38 hours haunts me on a daily basis.
31:32The emotional stress that has been injected into my life by this man can be almost unbearable.
31:41I now suffer from a lot of anxiety and I'm constantly worried that every move I make is being watched
31:48by him.
31:54After he was arrested, he was taken back to the mainland and he was charged.
32:00He was sentenced to eight and a half years in prison and he spent that full term and I never
32:12heard from him again and every October I would have to write a fucking victim impact statement and I would
32:21have to prove to the parole board why they should keep him inside.
32:27And this was like an annual traumatic event for me.
32:33It was like a pen pal I never asked for.
32:40Nathan almost did stamp out my spirit with his physical, sexual and mental threats.
32:49But I am very slowly picking up the pieces of my life if Nathan is released after his parole hearing.
32:56I fear immensely for my life and the safety of my family.
33:02I trust that you will make the safest decision.
33:06And I beg you not to put my life in this man's hands again.
33:13Because this time I know he will take it.
33:28My mother-in-law actually saw him coming off the boat.
33:33She didn't know who he was and she said, there's something bad about that man.
33:40Isn't that just incredible that that energy, it was just palpable.
33:46Yeah.
33:46And he is the kind of person that you just feel it.
33:49It's like a black hole.
33:51Well, will I have a little break and play a song, Catch Our Breath?
33:55I'm not sure if the song's appropriate now, but it's called Look At That Woman.
34:02You're listening to Candy Shell and Nortessa will be back in a minute.
34:29Mine literally lasted for like a week.
34:31I can't imagine years of this.
34:36Releasing the article felt like I had power in the situation for the first time since I could remember.
34:51I actually feel sick for her.
35:01I had been silent for so long and I'd let Greg say whatever he wanted to say about me and
35:11I'd never said anything back.
35:15And finally, I got to say my side of the story.
35:21Yeah, I didn't realise how much I needed that.
35:31I was really hoping for more of a, um, justice ending.
35:36The realising that he's still out.
35:42Greg has told me how he is going to me and kill me endlessly.
35:47It is devastating that until he acts on this, I am not protected under New Zealand law.
35:53These are the words of Xenie Gibson and because of the way that our laws are currently...
35:57It felt so surreal to hear my name in Parliament.
36:03When for so long, this has been something I dealt with on my own.
36:10He used every method he could to stalk Xenie.
36:13He harassed her social media accounts.
36:16He sent her persistent emails, which could be more than 1,000 emails in one week.
36:21When she blocked him, he would go onto websites to send newsletter sign-up forms
36:26and she would receive emails that said,
36:29Kia ora, cut your throat.
36:31Hey, I need to slice your smile off of your face.
36:34And even this last one, 43 Redacted Street, rape your mum, which was her mother's address.
36:42All of this unpunishable by our law, unless he acted on his heinous promises.
36:50The isolation was heralded.
36:52The thing with stalking is that even when he's not messaging me,
36:59I'm waiting for the next message.
37:03That never ends.
37:05He's told me that he'll wait 10 or 20 years.
37:16And I am just waiting for him to come back.
37:19He's gone periods longer than this in the past without messaging me,
37:23so there's no reason to think he won't start again.
37:36I believe that physical scars are taken much more seriously than mental and emotional trauma.
37:44There were so many opportunities where he had done something that was dangerous, but not physically violent.
37:54All of the stalking and harassment built up to a really scary story,
38:00which ended in something really dangerous for me.
38:06If stalking had been taken more seriously, this could have been avoided.
38:13It really was the warning.
38:15It was a flashing red light that...
38:22...anyone with common sense would have seen where this was going.
38:41Yesterday, Nathan's been guilty to murdering a mother of two in Christchurch.
38:52Yesterday, Nathan's been guilty to murdering a mother of two in Christchurch.
38:58I just can't believe this is what it's come to.
39:10I am so fucking mad.
39:14It's identical to what happened to me.
39:17The outcomes are really different.
39:20I know how she would have felt before she died.
39:25No one can convince me that stalking isn't murder.
39:29Slow murder.
39:30It's like watching a car crash in slow motion.
39:34I just wish someone would have taken me seriously.
39:39We could have stopped this.
39:44Fuck.
40:00Hearing those words, which were mine, and I didn't register they were mine to begin with.
40:04I was just like, oh shit, that's horrible.
40:06And then you say, these are the words of Zini Gibson.
40:07And that was a really, like, um, that was a crazy feeling to see that being spoken in Parliament.
40:14We must believe people.
40:15We must believe and protect women.
40:17And a reflection that we...
40:19Ironically, I also had an experience with Ahsoka while working on this, and it just made me think,
40:25like, this is a snippet of what this feels like, and I have Parliament security all around this place,
40:31so I can feel safe in here.
40:34Imagine what 10 years of that would have been like without all of this.
40:38You've lit a fire in so many people and so many young women as well.
40:43And, um, yeah, so I just wanted to do your words justice in everything you've been through.
40:49Do you think that there will ever be a day where stalking is illegal in New Zealand?
40:54Because of you?
40:56Yes.
40:59Yeah.
41:01Because of you.
41:04Yeah.
41:05Straight up.
41:08Okay.
41:11Yeah.
41:12Can I give you a hug?
41:14Yeah, the whole time.
41:16Oh, God.
41:30When I really decided I'm going to look at this, I'm going to cry,
41:34I'm going to grieve the girl that I once was, the girl who never got to be.
41:38Yeah.
41:39And I was able to just accept this is who I am now.
41:43I'm a bit broken.
41:46I'm a bit scared.
41:48Yeah.
41:49But it happened.
41:52And your worst day doesn't divine how beautiful your life gets to be.
41:56You do.
42:08Thanks for coming back to the barrier.
42:10I'm glad to be home.
42:15Yeah, I pronounce you husband and Tessa.
42:29Both Zini and Tessa deserved so much more, and Fizana, who should still be here.
42:39Their situations were completely and utterly avoidable.
42:44I always wonder if I didn't have the profile that I had,
42:48if I would have had the same response.
42:51It shows that the police can do something.
42:54They can do it, but they didn't.
43:14They were triggered.
43:36I just made my first ever change to a law in New Zealand.
43:41This is the first ever law that defines and criminalises stalking.
43:46Over the last 12 months, it's been massive working alongside survivors like Xenie.
43:51Definitely gonna get her framed.
44:18Can we have a hug?
44:20Yes.
44:22A really sweet hug.
44:26You're both amazing.
44:29Seriously.
44:32It's messed up.
44:33It is, isn't it?
44:35It's so messed up.
44:39I'm so glad that you're here.
44:42Amazing.
44:44And I'm so happy that through all of this, we've met each other.
44:48Yeah.
44:49Nice.
44:51Yeah.
44:51It's gotta be good things too.
44:53Yeah.
44:54Can't all be bad, right?
44:55Okay.
44:55Yeah.
45:09Bye, bye.
45:11Bye bye.
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