- 1 day ago
New.Zealand.Spy.2026.S01E06
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TVTranscript
00:00Music
00:21Painters are a dime a dozen.
00:24Anyone can paint.
00:28What I do
00:30is a little different.
00:32It's hard to describe.
00:34You paint with blood?
00:35Yeah. That's it.
00:37Did you do that one over there?
00:40Yes.
00:41Now, while I can see that the blood thing
00:43might seem like a cool idea,
00:45it just means that your paintings are quite
00:47brown and dull, and I just feel like
00:49if you used regular paint,
00:51the red might pop a little more.
00:53I'm going to enjoy killing you, and then I'm going to hang this painting
00:55on the wall, and every time I see it,
00:57I'll remember the joy I had making it.
01:00But have you tried using paint, though,
01:02because you might enjoy it even more?
01:21One, two, three, four.
01:23Enter.
01:23data?
01:24Hmm.
01:35pfft!
01:38pfft
01:41pfft
01:45pfft
01:49ah!
01:50your eyes is it no but if you give me a second it might please just give me one
01:55second
02:14you do go young lady enjoy that have a good afternoon hello hello what can I get you
02:22could I please get one scoop of vanilla cup or cone cup please 15 cents please I
02:36thought it was 10 cents it used to be it's 15 now what I only have 10 cents I'm sorry
02:44kid
02:56anything yeah it wasn't my whole life though it was just one moment the good moment no it was kind
03:04of bad oh sucks to be you do it do what pull the trigger life's not even that good oh
03:13don't be like
03:14that why cuz you're making it not fun it's true though I have nothing I'm bad at my job no
03:21one
03:22loves me and most the people in this world aren't even good I mean who doesn't give a kid an
03:26ice
03:26cream because of five cents you're trying to trick me into not wanting to do it no I'm not pass
03:30the
03:31gun here I'll do it myself nice try it's time to die good stop it you're really starting to piss
03:37me
03:37off then kill me I will I will shut up five four three two
04:04I can see your arm nice try dabby for a second thought I was gonna waste all my bullets on
04:12a dead man
04:16no then what distraction was he meant to uh sneak up behind me and smack me in the head or
04:26something well screwed that up I just thought that I would yell distraction and then immediately we'd be
04:42like bang and smack him on the back of the head yeah sorry I wasn't feeling good where's Anderson
04:47he's gone to blow up the boat what boat there's like a boat and it's taking herbicide and poison
04:52over to some planes that are then gonna fly and disperse it all around New Zealand where's the boat
05:00what boat boat carrying the poison to the plains it's like their big evil plan it's something to do with
05:06exports I didn't fully understand it but the main thing is they're gonna kill our cows and our sheeps
05:12when does the boat leave in eight minutes according to this one seven minutes according to this one
05:17it's gone what do you mean it's gone it left two hours ago no it was supposed to leave at
05:25six o'clock
05:25it left at sixteen hundred hours that's four o'clock so if the boat left at four o'clock why
05:33is there a giant
05:34timer counting down to six o'clock where is Dennis he told me to do the signal at six whether
05:42he's here
05:42or not but he'll come we wait until we see fireworks fireworks you said Anderson and gone to blow up
05:59the
05:59boat correct well it says here that the boat leaves at sixteen hundred hours that's right in five minutes
06:04hot sixteen hundred hours is 4 p.m. It's 5 55 now
06:09and what's happening in five minutes the planes will leave when they see the signal a signal what's the signal
06:15fireworks
06:26The fuse takes one minute so in two minutes it's go time it's like a cartoon fuse should we cut
06:31it shorter? I think it's fine
06:39I've always hated New Zealand agreed the cities are dull the people are dim
06:4570 seconds until ignition freeze or I'll shoot
06:52hands up you have a gun yeah so if I turn around I'll see you aiming a gun at me
06:58if you move I'll prove it
07:00to you by shooting you yeah with the gun yeah yeah I get it okay fine hands up
07:11well Dennis isn't here but I think we should just get started
07:19in South Australia I was born
07:22give away, haul away
07:24in South Australia round Cape Horn
07:27we're bound for South Australia
07:29haul away you ruling kings
07:32give away, haul away
07:34haul away you'll hear me sing
07:41a golden dawn is upon us
07:44golden soil
07:46wealth for toil
07:47we've toiled and túiled
07:49and now it is time for the world to not only respect Australia but to bow down to Australia
08:01And people who say golden soil isn't good soil,
08:04well, they're going to eat their hats
08:05when they try some Australian beef.
08:07Let's do this.
08:23Wait.
08:26Drop the match.
08:29OK.
08:33Were you trying to drop it onto the fuse?
08:35No.
08:36OK, well, it seemed like you were trying to be, like, OK,
08:39and then drop it down onto the fuse.
08:41I wasn't trying to be like that, but whatever.
08:43Step away from the fireworks or I'll shoot him.
08:46He doesn't have a gun.
08:49Most certainly do.
08:50You just did the gun thing with your fingers.
08:52I wouldn't say that.
08:53You've got the angle wrong.
08:54I can clearly see your hand.
08:55You're just doing the gun thing with your fingers.
08:57Is that true?
08:58He's just doing this.
09:00I freaking knew it.
09:02I mean, you clearly didn't.
09:04Well, you can put the gun down.
09:06I'm not dropping the gun.
09:07You are so strange.
09:09OK, Mr. Blood Paintings.
09:12Sorry for being strange, Mr. Frickin'...
09:16Go on.
09:20Blood Paintings?
09:21Same again.
09:22Yeah, well done.
09:24Will you look at that?
09:25Time's up.
09:27Look, I love fireworks, and on a normal day, I would do pretty much anything to see fireworks.
09:34So it breaks my heart to say this, but there will be no fireworks today.
09:41Misty, do the honours.
09:43Did you hear nothing I just said?
09:44With pleasure.
09:46Wait, are you guys a couple?
09:49What makes you think that's any of your freaking business?
09:52Sorry, I guess I just...
09:54Yeah, nah, sorry.
09:58Wait!
09:59What?
10:01I guess...
10:04You don't have anything to say, do you?
10:05No, I do.
10:06I definitely do have stuff to say, and I guess if you try to light that fuse, then I'll have
10:15to attack you.
10:15Me?
10:16Yeah, and I know that's kind of not really appropriate, but I have no choice.
10:20Well, if you attack her, then we'll have to attack you.
10:24With what weapons?
10:25Our arms.
10:26And there's three of us, and one of you.
10:29Two!
10:32How did she hear that?
10:34I think the water is making your voices carry!
10:37That's crazy.
10:37I mean, don't quote me on that.
10:39That's just a theory I've come on with just now.
10:41Well, it definitely sounds like it could be a thing.
10:43I think it's a thing.
10:44You sure someone told me that once?
10:47Well, it's three versus two, and one of you's a chick.
10:50Oh, sexist?
10:51Yeah.
10:52I am sexist.
10:53Well, that's not on, all right?
10:56Also, she's a chick.
10:57Also, chicks can do anything.
10:58Shut up.
10:59Yep.
10:59And your math's off.
11:01What do you mean?
11:02It's three versus three.
11:03It's the fireworks!
11:05We know!
11:07The signal is the fireworks!
11:10Yeah, we already know!
11:11He's really fast.
11:13Yeah, it's kind of like his special skill.
11:15Yeah.
11:22Don't.
11:24Don't.
11:24Don't you light that fuse.
11:35Excuse me.
11:36Excuse me.
11:38Stop it.
11:39You stop it.
11:40Stop it.
11:41You stop it.
11:42Stop it.
11:48No, I never liked you.
11:50Well, I liked you.
11:51To be honest, I thought you were cool.
11:53I thought we might be friends.
11:55But as time went on, and the more I got to know you, I realized you were a slimy rat.
12:00And when you...
12:01Stop, Sue, but I'm a bit worried about the fireworks.
12:06Good point.
12:13G'day, mate.
12:14Hello.
12:16I'm gonna kill you now.
12:17In that case, can I try the life flashing before my eyes thing again?
12:21Be my guest.
12:31Isabel.
12:33Michael?
12:35I like your dress.
12:38I like your suit.
12:40Thanks.
12:42This has never happened.
12:44No.
12:46But it could.
12:47I'd like that very much.
12:49I'd like that very much, too.
12:52Okay, well, I gotta fight this guy now.
12:56Okay.
12:57Well, after that, would you like to go to the movies?
13:01Oh, I'd love to go and see a movie.
13:03I'd go see literally anything.
13:05I don't like scary movies.
13:08No, neither.
13:09I would go see literally anything, unless it's a scary movie, in which case I wouldn't go see that.
13:15Well, I think that's...
13:17Enough!
13:18I don't know what that was, but I don't want any more of that.
13:21I was having a hopeful vision.
13:23I'm gonna beat the hell out of you.
13:25I'm not sure I have any hell in me.
13:27I was born in heaven, and I've lived here my whole life.
13:3120 minutes ago, you were begging for me to kill you.
13:33I don't remember that.
13:35You said, pass me the gun, and I'll do it myself.
13:38Well, I had my vision, and I'm feeling bitter now.
13:41Good.
13:41Time to die.
13:52Time to die.
14:11Go, go, go, go.
14:32Go, go, go.
14:46Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
14:50Are you okay?
14:52I'm okay.
14:53You sure?
14:55Yeah.
14:56But, oh!
15:10Michael, are you okay?
15:23I think it's not happening.
15:25Oh, what?
15:26I mean, it doesn't seem like it's happening.
15:33I'm good.
15:37Yeah?
15:38Mm-hmm.
15:39You all right?
15:39I'm okay.
15:40Yeah.
15:41All right.
15:45We did it.
15:46I did it.
15:47Anderson.
15:48We did it.
15:49We did do it.
15:51Good stuff, guys.
15:52Thanks, ladies.
15:53Yeah.
15:54Yeah.
15:59Yeah.
16:09Yeah.
16:11Yeah.
16:14Yeah.
16:15Yeah.
16:21I love you.
16:39Hi.
16:41Hi.
16:42You enjoying the party?
16:44The party's great. The last party I went to, I got dumped.
16:48Oh, I was at that party. That was a bad party.
16:51I heard Misty was a baddie.
16:54She was a baddie. Yeah, she broke up with me and betrayed me, and she slapped me across the face,
17:00backhand.
17:01That's not polite.
17:02Not at all.
17:03I heard you saved the day.
17:05I mean, I don't know if I would say it like that. It was mainly Sue.
17:09I heard that you were an integral part.
17:12Well, who said that?
17:14Anderson.
17:15He said that?
17:16Yeah, he said that.
17:22Well, you know, since we've both been broken up with and the mission is accomplished, I was wondering if maybe
17:31you would like to go to the movies with me sometime.
17:36Hi, guys. Sorry to stop the music. I'll keep this brief. We've got the TAS to give out. The Todd
17:43Anderson Star. It's a new award for the most valuable spy on a mission.
17:48But first, it gives me immense relief to announce this mission accomplished.
17:59Yeah, and now the award. I'll be honest, there was a moment when this mission was very close to being
18:05a complete disaster, where this spy went rogue. Not something I would encourage, but I'll be honest, you know, ended
18:15up being very cool.
18:17They showed immense craftiness and courage in the face of extreme danger. And, you know, overall, just a bloody good
18:26spy.
18:26So, the recipient of the Todd Anderson Star is Sue Nightingale.
19:03They are true markers of excellence. And, ultimately, they're what it's all about. Thank you.
19:14Thanks, Sue. And congrats to the other spies on the mission, Michael Anderson and Michael Rivera. Good stuff.
19:25Oh, we should have finished with the banner. But, um, we've already done that, so we'll finish with just a
19:33recap that the mission is officially accomplished.
19:43So, um, what were you saying?
19:47Oh, it was nothing. Don't worry about that.
19:50No, please. It sounded interesting.
19:53I just said, uh, basically that I was wondering if you would like to go see a movie sometime.
20:01With you or by myself?
20:05Either. Either?
20:08With me. And I realise that's probably not a very appealing offer because I'm not a great spy and I
20:15really fall under pressure.
20:18I'd love to.
20:20Okay.
20:21And, for the record, I think you're a great spy.
20:26Okay.
20:27And maybe if you wanted to, we could dance now?
20:33Okay.
20:34Oh.
20:36There's a woman with her hands trembling.
20:40High and high.
20:44And she sings with her mountains down me.
20:48High and high.
20:53So where's your heart?
20:58From the bottom of our hearts
21:05From the bottom of our hearts
21:34guitar solo
22:05guitar solo
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