EP 240 - Tunnel - video Dailymotion

YAS CC

Watch EP 240 - Tunnel - YAS CC on Dailymotion

Transcript

00:00:07You

00:00:07Yeah, Toby lad, you're not kind of cool. Oh, you know what I was trying to do though, right? Yeah

00:00:14The first C and then

00:00:22He's gonna be the best player in the world

00:00:25Man

00:00:27Are you laughing?

00:00:28Yeah, what are you laughing?

00:00:29Sadio Mane

00:00:30Sadio Mane

00:00:31This is horrendous

00:00:32He's gonna be your best player in the world

00:00:33You got back from, when did you get back from Liverpool?

00:00:37About 1 a.m. last night

00:00:39How are you traversing the country for this?

00:00:41I got the train up

00:00:42Yes

00:00:43And then the car back down

00:00:45What?

00:00:46Why is it still not, there's no trains at that time, no?

00:00:49Well, yesterday I could have got a train back, but

00:00:52How long is the train?

00:00:54It's like a four and a half hour, five hour drive, no?

00:00:55Four, four hours

00:00:56Yeah

00:00:57And you're just sitting in a whip

00:00:58Well, yeah

00:00:59He drove

00:00:59To be fair, I watched the United game in the car

00:01:01Yeah, that's

00:01:02I don't know, I've watched it end the ball of the league and then the fell asleep

00:01:05Oh, goodness me, mate

00:01:06It's not that bad, it's not that bad

00:01:08I don't mind long car journeys, really

00:01:10Since I've done Gumball

00:01:11Yeah

00:01:12Like, everything's a breeze now

00:01:14Yeah

00:01:14Because you're doing literally like 12, 13 hours

00:01:16The coach we took up to

00:01:17Not coach, the bus

00:01:19Oh

00:01:19We took up to Fingham when we had to pick

00:01:21Oh, it went on forever

00:01:21Yeah, that was it

00:01:23We left a shooting

00:01:24It was after the house party and up to Haaland

00:01:26That's it

00:01:27Oh, yeah

00:01:28Oh, yeah

00:01:29Yeah, at least we had a TV

00:01:31Yeah, I know

00:01:31Like, that could have been so much worse

00:01:33Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:01:34And we got to watch Arsenal Bumble as well

00:01:36That was fun

00:01:36That was a good one

00:01:37So you won?

00:01:38I won, yep

00:01:39Two wins on the bounce

00:01:40Super Marth

00:01:41Super Marth

00:01:42Super Marth

00:01:43Is he back?

00:01:44So what happened?

00:01:45Because all the commentary were like

00:01:46He was gone and then

00:01:47He was managing Simon's team, remember?

00:01:49Oh, that's what I thought

00:01:50I thought

00:01:50Because I was thinking like

00:01:51He's been managing his team the whole time

00:01:52No, he was managing Simon's team

00:01:54Oh

00:01:54Obviously before that

00:01:55Me and Marth go way back

00:01:57Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:01:57So he was managing Simon's team

00:01:59Simon's team obviously left the league

00:02:01Marth weren't really doing anything in it

00:02:03And then stepped in when Elijah backed out

00:02:05And then

00:02:07Yeah, you better take him to

00:02:08Is he still the only manager or coach

00:02:11Without colleagues or qualifications?

00:02:15Potentially

00:02:15All the others are like actual

00:02:16Qualified coaches

00:02:17All the others are like actual

00:02:18Like coaching history

00:02:19Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:02:20Marth's just in there with pure passion

00:02:22Going, bro

00:02:22This ain't fucking good enough, bro

00:02:25I love it, man

00:02:27Who's Community FC?

00:02:28So they're the team

00:02:29We're the only team that lost to them by the way

00:02:31I was gonna say

00:02:32My god, I looked at the table

00:02:33They got like minus 20 goal difference

00:02:34We gave them three points

00:02:35We was giving everyone three points

00:02:37Oh

00:02:37They are the team that won the tournament

00:02:41Prior to the season to enter

00:02:42Did they not boot off at that tournament?

00:02:45Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:02:46Oh, so they're not

00:02:46They're like

00:02:47They won a competition to get into the league basically

00:02:51Who's their like famous manager?

00:02:52They don't

00:02:52They don't have one

00:02:54That's why they're called Community FC

00:02:55Their actual team is like

00:02:56Pathetico Madrid

00:02:58Pathetico

00:02:59Yeah

00:02:59You know what them club's names?

00:03:00Yeah

00:03:01But yeah, they've been taking a better

00:03:03Yeah, it looked up

00:03:04Yeah, it looked sad

00:03:05So I did my bit of charity by giving them

00:03:07Where are you in the table now?

00:03:08We are up to

00:03:10I want to say ninth now

00:03:12We need some pressure points

00:03:13How long you got left in the season?

00:03:16We've got four games

00:03:16Can you do it?

00:03:17We can

00:03:18Can you get in the top four?

00:03:19Mathematically, we can still do it

00:03:20The results kind of went our way yesterday

00:03:21Because SDS and

00:03:24Who do they play?

00:03:25Deportrio drew

00:03:25So that's Michael Richards' team

00:03:26And Schalke's team

00:03:27They drew

00:03:27Yeah

00:03:28So a point each gives us more chance of getting

00:03:31Yeah, yeah

00:03:31Back in the thing

00:03:32But it's all up in the year

00:03:34I've got faith in you, man

00:03:35And then when it gets to the final four

00:03:36Anything can happen

00:03:36It's like anything

00:03:37It doesn't really matter what happens in the season

00:03:39Once you're there

00:03:40But did you see the clip of

00:03:44Ben Long in the

00:03:45That goal

00:03:45Oh my god, yeah

00:03:46I did see that

00:03:47Saw that goal

00:03:48No, no, no

00:03:49The fucking

00:03:50The people's elbow on him

00:03:52Shoulder budge

00:03:52Into the ground

00:03:53Then like drops on him

00:03:55And grabs his hair

00:03:56No

00:03:56Let me show you

00:03:58Is he the one that scored the banger as well?

00:04:01You're telling me

00:04:02He whacked one top mid

00:04:03And then

00:04:04Beat someone up

00:04:05He's gonna be a band, right?

00:04:07Surely

00:04:07You know what we're talking about

00:04:08Dark hearts, bro

00:04:09Nah, he just like

00:04:09Like

00:04:10You know when you're like

00:04:12Pushes down on him

00:04:13Yeah

00:04:13But it's not even subtle, bro

00:04:15Nah, nah, not at all

00:04:18Wait, wait

00:04:20Smashes into him there

00:04:21Which is alright

00:04:22I don't mind a smash

00:04:22And he's grabbed his head

00:04:24Wait till you see the slow-mo, bro

00:04:25But he's acting like

00:04:26What have I done?

00:04:27What have I done?

00:04:27Why did he do the second part?

00:04:28Wait, wait, wait, wait

00:04:29It's worse hair

00:04:29Look at this

00:04:32Handful of his hair there

00:04:35But like, you know

00:04:36You're on camera

00:04:37Like, you know

00:04:37It's not like Sunday League

00:04:38You might get away with it

00:04:40Why did he do that?

00:04:41Did they lose?

00:04:43Yeah, they got bettered

00:04:44It was 1-1 at half time

00:04:45They lost 7-1

00:04:47I'd be losing my head playing that

00:04:48But it was the game changer

00:04:50Where when you score from behind the line

00:04:51It counts as two goals

00:04:52So they scored two of them

00:04:53From behind the line

00:04:54Yeah

00:04:55Is that why the keeper can't use his hands?

00:04:57No, no

00:04:57This is just the line

00:04:59If you score from behind the line

00:05:00If you score from behind the final third

00:05:01It counts as two goals

00:05:02It counts as two goals

00:05:02Right, okay

00:05:04But he's lovely off the pitch

00:05:06But when you're talking dark arts on the pitch

00:05:07She's a shithouse

00:05:08Is he?

00:05:09Yeah, that goal was fucking ridiculous

00:05:11His goal was stupid

00:05:12Yeah

00:05:13Is that the one that I

00:05:14I think I saw a clip

00:05:15He literally just pinged it

00:05:16Just volleyed it

00:05:17Is it a volley?

00:05:18Yeah

00:05:18I haven't seen that one

00:05:19Ridiculous goal

00:05:20And then he just straight up assaulted someone

00:05:22Respect

00:05:23I love that

00:05:23There's some techy guys up there

00:05:25But I like Liverpool, you know

00:05:26Liverpool's

00:05:27It's a nice city

00:05:28It's a nice city

00:05:28Yeah

00:05:29You've been to Liverpool, no?

00:05:32No

00:05:32You must have been

00:05:33Did you not come for the UFC?

00:05:34No

00:05:35We won't watch Darren Till?

00:05:36No, no, no

00:05:36You went to Liverpool for UFC?

00:05:38No

00:05:38Yeah

00:05:39Newcastle

00:05:54Newcastle's nice

00:05:55It's pretty

00:05:56It is

00:05:57You know, for the shit it gets online

00:05:58It actually is alright

00:05:59It's seaside town

00:06:00Seaside town

00:06:01Yeah

00:06:02It's alright

00:06:02People are cool

00:06:03First thing someone said to me is

00:06:04Is that Toby lad?

00:06:06I do actually think

00:06:07Welcome to fucking Liverpool

00:06:08I think everyone outside London is actually really nice

00:06:10I love going to Manchester

00:06:11The further north you get

00:06:13The further north you get

00:06:13Everyone in Manchester is lovely

00:06:14Birmingham I'm a little bit

00:06:16Suss on

00:06:17I think Birmingham or Suss on Birmingham

00:06:18Yeah

00:06:19It's a weird area

00:06:20It's not even

00:06:21It's a dodgy area

00:06:23No

00:06:23Now Liverpool

00:06:24I wouldn't get on the wrong side of a Scouse

00:06:26No

00:06:27Scouser but

00:06:28Nice

00:06:29Friendly

00:06:30Smashed me up in their 110s

00:06:32Yeah

00:06:32Is it 97s or is it 110s?

00:06:34That's the battle

00:06:35That is the battle

00:06:36That's the battle

00:06:37What would you call them 110s?

00:06:38Yeah

00:06:40Oh that's words

00:06:41That's in the song

00:06:42Yeah

00:06:43Slap that damn skirt out of me 110s me big ass

00:06:47You know what I'm saying?

00:06:50Your Scouse accent match

00:06:52It's so bad

00:06:54It's so bad

00:06:58It's so bad

00:06:59Can we

00:07:00What we do

00:07:02Today's funny

00:07:02Yeah

00:07:02We are doing

00:07:0520v1

00:07:05The return of 20v1

00:07:07Is it 20v1?

00:07:08Or is it Tinder?

00:07:09No

00:07:09Oh it's Tinder sorry

00:07:10Tinder

00:07:11I have no lines prepared

00:07:12What do you mean you got no lines

00:07:13We have to submit the lines

00:07:15Don't worry I'll submit some

00:07:16I'll submit some

00:07:17I've got nothing

00:07:17I got two spare

00:07:19I gave you my spare ones

00:07:20One each

00:07:21Spare what he gave me

00:07:24Yeah but I wanted to

00:07:25I like doing puns of like their names and shit

00:07:28So I wanted to get the names so I could make some stuff work

00:07:30It's not an in here thing

00:07:32They go in and they talk and they already know what they're saying

00:07:34Yeah yeah yeah

00:07:35So what are you coming up with these lines?

00:07:36I've heard submit say

00:07:37They'll submit say

00:07:38They'll come back

00:07:38How many lines?

00:07:40They're shooting

00:07:41An hour

00:07:42Yeah yeah yeah yeah don't worry we'll get it done

00:07:44We'll get it done

00:07:45I'll plot something in there

00:07:45Let me copy your homework same bit different

00:07:47I got one left

00:07:48It's a really bad one

00:07:51No whose idea was this?

00:07:52Cause I missed this when this

00:07:53I wasn't in the meeting for this

00:07:54But this is great cause we're actually we are like so far from the action

00:07:57Yeah

00:07:58It's like a cyber reacts

00:07:59Like genuinely like we're just sat here reacting to it

00:08:01Is that not what the audience hate though?

00:08:03I think they might like this you know

00:08:05Cause they get the

00:08:05They get their tinder fix

00:08:06They get their tinder fix yeah

00:08:07They still get our funny lines if someone fucking wrote them

00:08:11Naughty boy

00:08:12They will be written

00:08:13You had a fucking four hour drive last night

00:08:15You should have written something

00:08:16I was tired

00:08:17So we're all tired

00:08:22I can't lie I just I completely forgot what we were shooting

00:08:25Even when uh

00:08:27I just I just see block out in the calendar just turn up to the postcode

00:08:31I don't know

00:08:32Yeah

00:08:33I try and pay less mind to it

00:08:36Fair enough

00:08:37No well well

00:08:38I reckon it's gonna go well you know

00:08:39Yeah I think so

00:08:40I reckon we got some

00:08:41We got the right characters

00:08:42Right characters yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:08:43Are you more confident in the characters or the lines that you wrote?

00:08:46I'm really happy with my lines you know

00:08:48I wish I was saying them

00:08:49I got some good ones

00:08:50Like when I was writing them

00:08:51You know that the meme when like the pen's on fire

00:08:53I was really

00:08:53I was in my

00:08:53I was I was cooking for like a good like 10 minutes

00:08:56And I was like yeah yeah I got a few good ones now

00:08:58Alright okay

00:08:59But what kind of level have you gone for though?

00:09:01Not not very crude

00:09:02Not crude

00:09:03Not crude no

00:09:04I think we're past there

00:09:05I think we're at 30 plus

00:09:07Yeah

00:09:07Especially some of us now nearly 40

00:09:09I think we're

00:09:09Get your gash out

00:09:10Yeah

00:09:11Yeah

00:09:12I would I would date you but your fucking fatty stinks

00:09:15Yeah

00:09:15Like alright relax bro

00:09:17Wait is Vic on this shoot?

00:09:19Yeah

00:09:19I don't want to use them again

00:09:21Yeah

00:09:22Your mum

00:09:23Your mum by the way

00:09:25He was

00:09:26What was the one he went rogue on?

00:09:27It was the

00:09:28The one with Harry Pinero

00:09:29Yeah

00:09:30And chunks and that

00:09:31And like

00:09:32He just would

00:09:33Just literally

00:09:33Beat them every time

00:09:35That was funny

00:09:37Yeah I can't do that

00:09:37I think

00:09:38I don't

00:09:39Tinder's were

00:09:40I didn't mind Tinder's man

00:09:41It's quite funny

00:09:42Vic can't be 30 years old

00:09:44Is he 30?

00:09:45Yeah

00:09:46Is he back?

00:09:47Wait no he's not 30 yet

00:09:48He's just younger than me

00:09:49He's had his birthday this year

00:09:50He hasn't had his birthday this year

00:09:51He hasn't had his birthday this year

00:09:52Is he 30?

00:09:53Yeah Vic cannot be 30

00:09:54No he is

00:09:55He is 30

00:09:55He's a year above me isn't he?

00:09:56I'm 31 this year

00:09:57Yeah yeah yeah

00:09:58Fuck

00:09:59Vic in my head

00:10:01I don't know

00:10:01It's just because

00:10:02What about me? Can I be 30?

00:10:04Yeah

00:10:05You said

00:10:06You said

00:10:06You're 38

00:10:08I got ID'd the other day bro

00:10:10No there's no

00:10:11But this is to you

00:10:11I'll tell you what

00:10:12For what?

00:10:13What did you get ID'd for?

00:10:15To go into a bowling venue

00:10:17I was on stream bro

00:10:18These

00:10:19I'll tell you what

00:10:20These what?

00:10:21Go on

00:10:21No not these

00:10:23No not these

00:10:24No

00:10:26Black does not crack

00:10:27You my friend

00:10:28Have looked like this

00:10:29Since I've known you

00:10:29It is true you know

00:10:30You have looked like this since I've known you

00:10:32Maybe a little bit brighter

00:10:33A little bit more

00:10:34Yeah

00:10:35A little bit more life

00:10:36Yeah yeah

00:10:37But you have looked like this

00:10:38Since I've known you bro

00:10:40It is crazy

00:10:41It is crazy

00:10:41Is it just because

00:10:43Your

00:10:44Your

00:10:45Body is used to like

00:10:46The sun

00:10:47Like

00:10:48Like

00:10:48You don't get wrinkly

00:10:50No it's true

00:10:51But like

00:10:51Like

00:10:53Dark skin

00:10:54Doesn't like

00:10:55Yeah yeah

00:10:55We get hagggaged

00:10:57We get hagggaged

00:10:58You think it's the sun that does your own

00:10:59The London sun

00:11:00I think so yeah

00:11:00That's me

00:11:01Three years

00:11:02You have it for two days a year

00:11:03What do you mean

00:11:04No no

00:11:05Even like mid temperature

00:11:07Like it just

00:11:07Our skin just gets fried

00:11:09Yeah

00:11:0915 degrees here

00:11:10UV3

00:11:11I'm getting battered

00:11:12Yeah

00:11:12Big time

00:11:13I'm getting packed in bro

00:11:14It's bouncing off you

00:11:15It's actually

00:11:15You're laughing bro

00:11:17You're floating around going it's cold

00:11:19It's getting packed in by this UV bro

00:11:22I wonder what

00:11:23There must be some scientific thing

00:11:24Yeah of course

00:11:25There is

00:11:25But I don't know what it is

00:11:26Why doesn't black crack?

00:11:27I was chatting GPT bro

00:11:29Because Asians don't really crack

00:11:30That's not like

00:11:31Yeah

00:11:31They don't

00:11:32Yeah

00:11:34White people suck

00:11:35I've aged like ten years

00:11:37And for the last three years

00:11:38Fucking bullshit

00:11:39I have

00:11:40I have

00:11:41I look at my bills for like five years ago

00:11:43Fucking hell that's a child right then

00:11:44I'm like

00:11:45I've literally asked

00:11:46Why don't black or Asian people age as bad as white people

00:11:49That's a really common observation

00:11:51But it's more about skin biology and environment than race itself

00:11:54Okay

00:11:54Melanin skin pigment plays a big role

00:11:56People with darker skin tones

00:11:58Have more melanin

00:11:59Melanin acts like a natural shield

00:12:00Yeah there we go

00:12:01Yeah

00:12:02Difference in skin structure

00:12:04Darker skin tends to have denser collagen and thicker dermis layers

00:12:07This can mean fewer fine lines early on

00:12:10Yeah I got them fine lines

00:12:11Yeah

00:12:12Darker skin more likely to show uneven

00:12:14Lighter skin more likely to show

00:12:16Redness layers

00:12:17Yeah it's like wearing a black top in a football match

00:12:19Like it just hides

00:12:20Yeah

00:12:21Like in a cyber match

00:12:23Like you don't want to be on the full star team

00:12:26It's about melanin protection, sand damage and structural skin

00:12:29Yeah

00:12:30Some bullshit man

00:12:31We got the fucking

00:12:32Yeah we should

00:12:33What that little weird pink layer over us

00:12:34We might have to transfer you some melanin protection

00:12:36You got your Nigerian passport basically

00:12:38Thanks bro

00:12:39Have you seen your love online?

00:12:40They love me bro

00:12:40Bro you got about five different Nigerian

00:12:43You might have more Nigerian names than me bro

00:12:44I do actually

00:12:45I've seen it quite a few of them

00:12:47I've seen it quite a few of them

00:12:48It feels really good you know

00:12:49It's not nice

00:12:50The best bit is you mixing the cultures

00:12:52Is that my blood clot

00:12:53Is that my blood clot

00:12:54Is that my blood clot

00:12:55I had to let them know bro

00:12:56I had to let them know

00:12:57I didn't

00:12:58I didn't like the Agusi

00:12:59Oh I really like it

00:13:01I know you love the Agusi

00:13:01Even the second time I had it

00:13:03It was even better on the podcast

00:13:04Yeah

00:13:05Really good

00:13:06I actually didn't mind the suya too

00:13:07The suya is good

00:13:08Yeah the suya was nice

00:13:09When I was on stream with Sinna

00:13:12And we went to a Nigerian restaurant on stream

00:13:14She loved Agusi as well

00:13:15Agusi's nice bro

00:13:16I need to go to a restaurant

00:13:18Cause I've only ever had it like

00:13:19Obviously it was lovely when you had it

00:13:21When I had yours but it was like

00:13:22Not all of it was cooked by my mum though

00:13:24No no no but even then it's like brought

00:13:25I'm gonna quickly do it

00:13:26It's like

00:13:26Oh yeah yeah you want it like hot and fresh

00:13:28I want like fresh new

00:13:29Like out of the kitchen

00:13:30Yeah yeah yeah

00:13:30I'm on that

00:13:32Is it hard to cook at home?

00:13:33I just don't have any of the spices needed right?

00:13:37Like what?

00:13:37You could go to the shop and get it

00:13:38I wouldn't know what to go for

00:13:40Maybe go in like the world foods aisle

00:13:43And get it

00:13:43Or there's like loads of cash and carries

00:13:45I feel like a lot of it's like

00:13:47Like the gizzards I've never

00:13:49I've never thrown

00:13:49Do you even throw anything at home?

00:13:51No

00:13:51Like in oil?

00:13:52Oh not me no

00:13:53No

00:13:53I'm used to like plantain shell frown oil

00:13:56Puff puff shell frown oil

00:13:57Yeah that scares me

00:13:58Having like a big vat of oil in the kitchen

00:14:00Really?

00:14:01Yeah

00:14:01People have like a pot of fucking boiling

00:14:03It's like 200 degree oil

00:14:04What because of spinning it?

00:14:06Or like priors or what?

00:14:07Just like

00:14:07Just everything

00:14:08It just feels like a fucking volatile thing to have just in the kitchen

00:14:10Yeah

00:14:11I don't know

00:14:11I am terrified of gas stuff like

00:14:15People say it's better to have like a gas cooker

00:14:17I wouldn't want a gas cooker no no no

00:14:18There's no gas running through my house at all

00:14:20It's all like

00:14:21They always say oh yeah if you wake up and you smell like

00:14:23I don't know what it is like toothpaste or something

00:14:25It means there's a gas leak

00:14:26There's something you could

00:14:27I don't want a risk of a gas leak in my house

00:14:29Gas explosions might be one of the scariest things

00:14:32It just blows the whole house as well

00:14:33Have you seen the whole thing just go

00:14:34It happens quite commonly in the UK

00:14:36I've seen like loads on the news no?

00:14:37Really?

00:14:38Yeah they're terrifying

00:14:39So when I was doing my house I was like yeah I don't want anything gas

00:14:43Yeah yeah yeah

00:14:44I've got air source heat pump or something like that

00:14:46Do you have solar panels?

00:14:48I was gonna get some

00:14:49My dad swears but my dad's got loads of solar panels on a roof and he just charges the car

00:14:53with the solar panels

00:14:54Oh really?

00:14:55Yeah

00:14:55But they don't look the greatest to me

00:14:58Nah they kind of fuck up the

00:14:59I think the maintenance I want to like makes it almost not worth it

00:15:02Is that so?

00:15:03Yeah but also

00:15:04Have you got solar panels?

00:15:06No fuck no

00:15:07You need electricity bro

00:15:09You've got loads of space and you can have to put some solar panels down

00:15:11My shit runs on oil bro

00:15:12Fuck Donald Trump

00:15:13See we were just saying like we're not about the oil life

00:15:15Yeah

00:15:16Because mine's a listed building I can't make any changes on all of my shit because it's a listed building

00:15:20So I have to apply

00:15:22Even like external stuff you can't do anything

00:15:24Yeah everything

00:15:24I could apply to get it delisted but it's also quite cool the fact that it is listed

00:15:28Yeah it's cool it's a listed building

00:15:29Yeah it's a

00:15:30It's a uh

00:15:31Yeah it was used as like

00:15:33Our house was

00:15:34Where all the farmland is round it

00:15:36If like a royal or anything come by

00:15:39To that area they would stay in the house

00:15:41Yeah

00:15:42Yeah

00:15:43Yeah

00:15:44Like one of them houses

00:15:45Like where they're

00:15:46Like they come and that's the

00:15:47Yeah it looks to be fair

00:15:48It looks like it

00:15:49Like my fucking driveway

00:15:50But like Downton Abbey estate

00:15:51Pretty much

00:15:52Yeah

00:15:52This guy lives in like a Disney movie bro

00:15:55Yeah facts

00:15:56Well hopefully your house doesn't explode

00:15:58We were just talking about while you were gone

00:15:59About exploding houses

00:16:00Oh it would be bad yeah

00:16:01Yeah

00:16:02I got full like

00:16:03I got

00:16:04What was it like 2,000 litres of oil in that bitch

00:16:06Oh my god

00:16:07Yeah

00:16:072,000 litres of oil in that bitch

00:16:08That's how much I have to ward it

00:16:09That thing goes up to finish

00:16:11Yeah the whole field's gone

00:16:12Jesus

00:16:13Yeah you don't want to blow a pie there bro

00:16:14Bad day

00:16:15Oh lord

00:16:15Bad day

00:16:17Those aren't the

00:16:18The new

00:16:18Those aren't the run ones

00:16:20No these aren't the

00:16:21No

00:16:22Oh they're from a charity match aren't they

00:16:23Yeah these aren't the

00:16:24Best advert ever by the way

00:16:26Fucking hell

00:16:27I said by the way

00:16:29If I finish second

00:16:30If I finish second

00:16:31And still run a sub 2

00:16:32I would not be friends with bro

00:16:35In the front

00:16:35It would take me so long

00:16:37To get over it

00:16:38Yeah but why though

00:16:39That's your fault

00:16:39Be better

00:16:40Nah sh

00:16:41It was his first marathon

00:16:42His first marathon

00:16:43He got a sub 2

00:16:44Bro just be happy with that then

00:16:46If that was your first ever marathon

00:16:48And you got sub 2

00:16:49You're gassed

00:16:49You don't care about him

00:16:50No you're burning bro

00:16:52If that other guy didn't exist

00:16:53I mean you could argue

00:16:54You wouldn't have run the time you did

00:16:55But like

00:16:55If he wasn't there

00:16:56You would have been

00:16:57You would have been the first to do a sub 2

00:16:58Bro

00:16:59In your first ever marathon

00:17:00You already hold the record

00:17:02In the half marathon

00:17:02You'd be like the running goat of all time

00:17:04But this fucking guy

00:17:05It's not his fault he exists

00:17:06Yeah but you can

00:17:07No but you can still feel

00:17:08I would still feel annoyed

00:17:10You'd still feel burning bro

00:17:11You'd be mad at Adidas

00:17:12Be like why did you give him the shoes as well

00:17:14They both have the shoes

00:17:15Exactly

00:17:15If he only gave him the shoes

00:17:17He might have won

00:17:18Yeah yeah yeah

00:17:18It would take me

00:17:21A long time

00:17:22To just be okay with that

00:17:24Yeah

00:17:24Fuck me

00:17:25I know

00:17:26I'll try and say

00:17:28I know how it felt

00:17:29When I ran a

00:17:30Like I think I'd done

00:17:31You ran a marathon?

00:17:32I'd done that

00:17:33But I mean like

00:17:34Even when I

00:17:35Full effort

00:17:35When I did a

00:17:36I think my best ever 5k time

00:17:38Was 20.40

00:17:39So just over

00:17:40As 20

00:17:41I wanted to get sub

00:17:42I wanted to die

00:17:43During every kilometer

00:17:45And they're running quicker than that

00:17:46They're running like way quicker than that

00:17:48Two minute 40 kilometers

00:17:49Two minute 30 kilometers

00:17:50They don't look like they're breaking a sweat

00:17:51Bro

00:17:51They look like they're floating

00:17:52If you look as you run

00:17:53They just like

00:17:54Levitating

00:17:54I wanted to die after that 5k

00:17:56Let alone

00:17:57On that Sunday

00:17:58Where it was that hot

00:18:00It was in this war wasn't it

00:18:01Yeah

00:18:01There's like a screenshot of him running at one point

00:18:03And his Garmin's just gone off

00:18:04And it literally says like

00:18:05He's like 40 odd

00:18:06He's like 38k in or whatever

00:18:08And he's doing a two minute 30k

00:18:09Yeah it's fucking

00:18:10That is crazy

00:18:11I wish I'd gone down and watched it you know

00:18:13Just to see him fly

00:18:14Just to see him go past

00:18:15I should've gone

00:18:17There's a crazy stat that

00:18:18If you've got a treadmill at home

00:18:20I think they say set it to

00:18:21Either like 20 or 25

00:18:22Yeah

00:18:23Run that for 60 seconds

00:18:25And now imagine running that for like 2 hours

00:18:27And that's the speed

00:18:27He's doing it

00:18:28Unreal

00:18:29Have you seen the splits?

00:18:30Yeah

00:18:31The splits are

00:18:32It's just all like 2

00:18:33You see the one that's like

00:18:35Oh yeah if you were to get on a lime scooter

00:18:37Crank it full beans

00:18:38And do the route

00:18:39You'd finish a mile behind him

00:18:41Without stopping

00:18:42Yeah

00:18:43Like you're just sat there with it

00:18:44Fully loaded

00:18:45That's insane

00:18:46Bombing the route on this scooter

00:18:47That's how fast he was going

00:18:48Yeah

00:18:49Bro it's ridiculous

00:18:51It's cause when you watch it

00:18:52It doesn't look like going that fast

00:18:53But then

00:18:53You see videos of them running past

00:18:55Fuck me

00:18:55Like this guy's fucking like

00:18:56Sprinting

00:18:57Sprinting past

00:18:58But surely you're pissed if you went to watch

00:19:00Like you went to

00:19:01Like you said

00:19:01You went to see him

00:19:02You see him for like a second

00:19:03It's like watching the F1

00:19:04If you get on one of the corners

00:19:06If you get on a quick corner at F1

00:19:07Yeah

00:19:08Oh no

00:19:08Yeah but at least they come past again

00:19:10Tom

00:19:10There is

00:19:11But you can go to multiple spots

00:19:12You can walk

00:19:14Yeah

00:19:14That's what people do

00:19:15They usually like

00:19:16You just go about London for the day

00:19:18And see if you can catch him

00:19:19Oh shit

00:19:20Why did I go and watch it man

00:19:21I saw the videos

00:19:22It looked sick

00:19:22Like people just like

00:19:23Yeah

00:19:23It's like a day sesh

00:19:24If you get a nice vantage point

00:19:26They were even doing it

00:19:27Didn't they

00:19:28Did they

00:19:28Yeah I think they had people

00:19:29They knew

00:19:30To be fair no one we knew did it this year

00:19:32No one we've all got someone doing it

00:19:33Yeah

00:19:33Fucking Mark Upson did it

00:19:35I saw him doing it

00:19:36Yeah he did

00:19:36I see you doing it

00:19:39I think Jamie's missus has done it as well

00:19:41Sarah

00:19:41Sarah yeah

00:19:43Nice

00:19:43That's what we do

00:19:44We do know some people doing it

00:19:45That's alright

00:19:47What is like

00:19:49What's a good time to run a marathon

00:19:51For a mortal

00:19:52Four

00:19:53Sub four

00:19:54I got into an argument

00:19:56I

00:19:57It's rude to say

00:19:58But I think

00:19:59If you're a self respecting

00:20:00Like

00:20:01Half athletic person

00:20:02You gotta be doing sub three

00:20:04No sub four

00:20:05I think sub four is

00:20:06Sub four is

00:20:07Sub four is like

00:20:08What you should aim for I think

00:20:09If you're

00:20:09Fit and healthy

00:20:12Ridiculous

00:20:12Sub three is

00:20:13For a mere mortal

00:20:14Sebastian Vettel did a sub three

00:20:15Yeah

00:20:15But like that is

00:20:16Sebastian Vettel did a sub three

00:20:18Yeah

00:20:19But you've got a like

00:20:21Proper

00:20:21It's barbaric

00:20:22Sub three is barbaric

00:20:23And also like

00:20:24If you've got any amount of

00:20:27Me and him could never do sub three

00:20:29No

00:20:29Unless we stripped all of our muscle off of us

00:20:32All of our fat

00:20:33And went through it

00:20:34That's the only way we'd be able to do it

00:20:35Even the training

00:20:36Our body would make it through the training

00:20:37Because you have to run so much

00:20:39Like unless you're skin and bones

00:20:40Yeah

00:20:42Marathons

00:20:42What do you think about it

00:20:43The only reason a marathon exists

00:20:45Is because there was a Greek geezer

00:20:46That had to do the letter

00:20:47And he died

00:20:48So now we all just

00:20:49Every year

00:20:50Everyone goes

00:20:50Ah look I didn't die

00:20:51And I get a medal for it

00:20:52Mate some people nearly do

00:20:53You know like

00:20:54There's a lot of people that fucking

00:20:55Like last year

00:20:56Was brutal

00:20:57It was so hot

00:20:58And there was literally people just collapsing everywhere

00:20:59Yeah

00:21:00Heat exhaustion

00:21:00Yeah

00:21:01If you want to be a marathon runner

00:21:03Your ideal

00:21:04Even you've got like

00:21:05A little bit too much muscle bro

00:21:07You want to be like

00:21:08Just

00:21:09Bare skeletal muscle

00:21:10That can just fuck off and go

00:21:11I cramp up after the first part

00:21:13You've got to be really

00:21:14If you want to run them times

00:21:15You've got to be light as shit

00:21:17Yeah

00:21:17That's insane

00:21:18Yeah when you get to that kind of time

00:21:19It's just like

00:21:20I don't even know

00:21:22I don't even know

00:21:23Yeah

00:21:24What are you doing?

00:21:25I couldn't even pitch

00:21:26I can't even pitch myself

00:21:27Holding a 2 minute 30 pace for longer than my 30 pace

00:21:31If you've done a marathon right now

00:21:32How

00:21:33What time do you reckon you'd get?

00:21:34Four over

00:21:35Just over four probably

00:21:36And you how are you?

00:21:37That would be good

00:21:37I think we

00:21:38I think I'd get close to five

00:21:40Because I think my

00:21:41I think my legs would pack in

00:21:42You've got bad shin splints

00:21:43Yeah I think

00:21:44It would just be a

00:21:45Yeah

00:21:46I don't necessarily get

00:21:47Once I get in the groove

00:21:48I'm alright

00:21:49It's

00:21:50It's about leaving the groove

00:21:51And getting back

00:21:52Like if I'd stop for a shit I'd be cooked

00:21:53You would have to stop for a shit

00:21:55You would have to stop for a shit

00:21:55There's no way you're doing a marathon without doing a shit man

00:21:57Four hours without doing a shit

00:21:59I'd shit twice

00:21:59I'd shit twice in mine

00:22:02But either

00:22:03It is so ass

00:22:04It's so ass

00:22:05Yeah

00:22:05Don't people always ask it

00:22:06Oh what you're not going to do

00:22:07No

00:22:07I can see

00:22:08I can see the appeal of like the London one

00:22:10Yeah

00:22:11Because looking at all the videos

00:22:12It is kind of sick

00:22:13It's running through

00:22:14People just like cheering you on

00:22:15But like

00:22:17I don't know

00:22:17It's ass

00:22:18You see the guy at the tube station

00:22:19They've got like a standing ovation

00:22:20Yeah that stuff was sweet

00:22:21No

00:22:21He was literally on the other side of the platform

00:22:23Like on his own

00:22:24With like

00:22:25Someone else

00:22:26And then the whole

00:22:26This side was just applauding

00:22:28That's cool

00:22:28Yeah the vibes are up

00:22:29When the mat is on

00:22:30That's always a nice thing

00:22:32Here's a man who would have run

00:22:33A sub three marathon

00:22:34Yeah Vic

00:22:35V's got a chance

00:22:35You got the build for a sub three

00:22:38I don't think you can't sit there bro

00:22:41You're not on cam there big guy

00:22:45You should've just laughed at me with that

00:22:46It was a voice

00:22:46Yeah Vic's got a chance at a sub three

00:22:50Really?

00:22:51I'd have to train

00:22:51Yeah

00:22:52You're not a bad runner though

00:22:54In terms of bad runner

00:22:54I just think your frame

00:22:55You

00:22:56After a training block

00:22:57You would actually

00:22:58I think you'd be a good runner

00:22:59You got the best chance at it

00:23:00You're actually quite fast you know

00:23:02I don't think people give you enough credit for your speed Vic

00:23:04Yeah

00:23:05Thanks

00:23:05When I watch you in the charity match

00:23:07I'm like this guy's moving

00:23:08Yeah

00:23:08I was zooming

00:23:10You pick up speed

00:23:11You are quick

00:23:12Yeah but it takes me a while to get there

00:23:14It takes me a while to get there

00:23:14It takes you a while to get going

00:23:14But you've got acceleration

00:23:15Once you get there you're good

00:23:17And then he can't stop

00:23:18Then I can't stop

00:23:19I fell over myself

00:23:20Then it's just momentum

00:23:20Yeah

00:23:22How was King's Day?

00:23:24Cool

00:23:24Good

00:23:24When was that?

00:23:26Yesterday

00:23:27Fucking Amsterdam

00:23:27He was fucking living it up

00:23:29Yeah I just got back

00:23:30I nearly missed a flight this morning

00:23:31It was a

00:23:32You flew in this morning?

00:23:33Yeah I just landed

00:23:33He just comes from the airport

00:23:35Straight off the sech

00:23:37Straight off the space cake

00:23:38Straight off the space cake

00:23:41No space cakes were spaced

00:23:43Did it live up to expected

00:23:45Was it good?

00:23:46Yeah it was cool

00:23:46They had this big festival

00:23:48Down in the south of the Netherlands

00:23:50It's like the National Dutch Day

00:23:53I don't know what it is

00:23:54It's like a

00:23:55What is it like?

00:23:56It's the Dutch version of St. Patrick's Day

00:23:58For the Irish

00:23:58Okay

00:23:58It's their national day

00:24:01So yeah it was cool

00:24:02Kind of saw a bit of Amsterdam in the morning

00:24:04Everyone's just on boats

00:24:04Wearing orange

00:24:05Getting on it

00:24:06It's pretty cool

00:24:07Yeah

00:24:07And then

00:24:09Yeah I went and did some

00:24:11Some studio stuff

00:24:12Went to this festival

00:24:13Played a new tune

00:24:15And then

00:24:15Went to bed like a

00:24:17Well

00:24:18Well done

00:24:19Well done

00:24:20And woke up

00:24:21And nearly missed my flight this morning

00:24:22Because there was an accident

00:24:23On the motorway

00:24:24Into

00:24:25The airport

00:24:26So I'm trying to

00:24:27Book an Uber

00:24:28And they're just cancelling

00:24:29Because they're like

00:24:29I don't want to go there

00:24:30I had to bribe this guy with cash

00:24:32To take this

00:24:34That's the kind of stress you do

00:24:35In the morning

00:24:36Trying to catch a flight

00:24:37It was bad

00:24:38When you get the 11 minute Uber

00:24:39You wait 8 minutes

00:24:40And then it cancels

00:24:41Yeah that's horrible

00:24:44I've taken a stand against Uber

00:24:46They're taking a piss now

00:24:47I got an Uber this morning

00:24:48From around the corner

00:24:498 minutes away

00:24:50They tried to call me 35 quid

00:24:51Oh god

00:24:52So I got a boat instead

00:24:53And it was like 8 quid

00:24:55That's insane

00:24:5535 pounds

00:24:57Bro

00:24:57Even like the Uber like

00:24:58Not exec

00:25:00Was trying to charge like 25 quid

00:25:02I was like no

00:25:02They must run an algorithm

00:25:04No I just

00:25:05They don't pay it

00:25:06But sometimes

00:25:06I want to like

00:25:07When I'm trying to get to the airport

00:25:09I want a button on Uber

00:25:11Where I can say like 2x

00:25:12Yeah yeah yeah

00:25:13I'll pay 2x

00:25:13Yeah yeah yeah

00:25:14You bid for a journey

00:25:16Yeah yeah yeah

00:25:17That's nice to win

00:25:18That's true

00:25:18What are you willing to pay?

00:25:20Pay to win on Uber

00:25:21Literally

00:25:21You could

00:25:22You could

00:25:24Book it

00:25:24And then message the driver

00:25:25I'll give you a

00:25:2650 quid tip

00:25:27So actually two

00:25:29Both Ubers

00:25:29I ended up taking in Amsterdam

00:25:31Both drivers pulled up

00:25:32Asked me what the fare was

00:25:35Canceled the journey

00:25:36And said can you pay direct

00:25:37In cash yeah

00:25:38Oh someone done that to me the other day

00:25:40I was like you know what a fare

00:25:41Yeah yeah

00:25:41I got in an Uber

00:25:42And he said oh how much was the fare?

00:25:44And I said oh

00:25:45To be honest mate

00:25:45I genuinely didn't look

00:25:47I just pressed book

00:25:47Double tapped to the car

00:25:49And I think he wanted me to tell him

00:25:51And then just give him cash direct

00:25:52Yeah

00:25:52Uber watching this podcast

00:25:54Checking your account

00:25:56I felt victim

00:25:58Remember when we were shooting

00:25:59The last season of Inside

00:26:00I felt victim

00:26:01To that new fucking thing that they do

00:26:03There's the tactic

00:26:04They start the trip

00:26:06And then

00:26:07They just drive away

00:26:08Then they just drive away

00:26:09Yeah yeah

00:26:10I've never had that happen to me

00:26:11No no

00:26:12They want you to cancel

00:26:13And he done like a whole fake message string with me

00:26:16Like oh I'm waiting for you

00:26:17And I said you're not here

00:26:19Bro just started the journey

00:26:20And I was watching him just drive off

00:26:23And he just kept doing the other

00:26:24But what do they gain from that?

00:26:25Because they're still doing the journey

00:26:26They cancel

00:26:26They get money

00:26:28Yes they get the money

00:26:29And also they will just do that now

00:26:31If you

00:26:32They'll just act like they're coming to you

00:26:34And then when you get sick of it

00:26:35And you're like where are you

00:26:36Where are you?

00:26:37You cancel

00:26:37They get like a fiver or a tenner

00:26:39So they'll just sit there all day doing nothing

00:26:40They do that in Dubai

00:26:41They were doing that

00:26:42Oh bro

00:26:43I saw one on

00:26:45Infuriated

00:26:45Because I was like you're going the wrong way

00:26:47Yeah

00:26:47This guy posted on Twitter

00:26:49He's like been on this Uber journey

00:26:51For two and a half hours now

00:26:52I ain't quitting

00:26:53Yeah

00:26:54It's like a battle of stubbornness

00:26:56Respect

00:26:56Yeah

00:26:56He wasn't even in the car

00:26:58He was like

00:26:59He was like

00:26:59The guy's clearly gone home

00:27:02So he's like ended his journeys

00:27:03He's picked up one more journey

00:27:05I mean that it would be kind of a matter

00:27:06Like if you're ending your day

00:27:08Don't encourage him

00:27:08Start one more journey

00:27:09Drive home

00:27:10Park your car

00:27:11He's so bad

00:27:12He must get found out

00:27:13Yeah

00:27:14It's so bad

00:27:15If it weren't pissing down with rain

00:27:17And I wanted to go home

00:27:18I would have fucking

00:27:19I would have chased him

00:27:20I would have got some

00:27:22A bike or something

00:27:23And just chased him down

00:27:24I was fucking infuriated

00:27:27Dickhead

00:27:28Very scummy bro

00:27:29It's so bad

00:27:30I've got something good to show you on the same lines

00:27:31Let me find out

00:27:32What's the

00:27:33Give me

00:27:34What's the

00:27:34Is it DPD?

00:27:36No

00:27:36Oh

00:27:37I had a good one in Toronto

00:27:39Oh there we go

00:27:4090 years

00:27:40So we were at a festival

00:27:42We booked an Uber to take us out of the festival

00:27:44Mm

00:27:45And

00:27:47Basically

00:27:47It was quite difficult to find the parking area

00:27:50And the guy's GPS was off

00:27:52We were trying to walk to where he was on the map

00:27:54Mm

00:27:54And he was like

00:27:55He was getting annoyed

00:27:57Um

00:27:57Basically

00:27:58We

00:27:59It took us about 15 minutes

00:28:00To get to him

00:28:02Which I think is fine

00:28:03Like you're coming out of a festival

00:28:04Yeah

00:28:05We get to him

00:28:07And he goes

00:28:07Um

00:28:08He's like

00:28:09I'm not taking you

00:28:10Cancel the trip

00:28:12And we're like

00:28:14But we're here

00:28:14He's like you took too long

00:28:15Cancel the trip

00:28:16And we're like

00:28:17We're not canceling the trip

00:28:18You cancel the trip

00:28:19Yeah

00:28:21Yeah

00:28:21And he's like no

00:28:22Cancel the trip

00:28:22And so we just walked to the back of the car

00:28:24To start taking pictures of his license plate

00:28:27Yeah

00:28:27Because if he cancels then

00:28:28Please tell me you won this battle

00:28:30Because I'll be pissed if you didn't

00:28:31We won

00:28:31Yeah

00:28:32So the second we go to take the pictures of the license plate

00:28:35Yeah

00:28:36He cancels the journey

00:28:37Because he knows we can report in the app

00:28:39Yeah

00:28:40Yeah

00:28:40So he does this

00:28:41And then we stood there

00:28:42And we're like

00:28:43Well what now?

00:28:44Because you've cancelled the journey

00:28:45Yeah

00:28:46Here's the thing

00:28:46We book another Uber

00:28:48We got lucky

00:28:48It was in the car park

00:28:50So it rolls around

00:28:51And like

00:28:52It took like 10 minutes to get to us

00:28:54Yeah

00:28:54And he sat there like

00:28:55Trying to get another ride

00:28:57And it's like

00:28:57You played yourself

00:28:59Idiot

00:29:00Dickhead

00:29:00That warms my soul

00:29:02Gave us a finger

00:29:03As we got in our new Uber

00:29:04Yeah

00:29:05Fuck you

00:29:06I

00:29:07Yesterday

00:29:08I had to order a new driver

00:29:10For a reason

00:29:11For a reason

00:29:12Golf club

00:29:13Yeah

00:29:15To be honest mate

00:29:16I think you could double without just having one

00:29:18No no no

00:29:19Got a good one now

00:29:19No no wrong shop

00:29:21But it will do the job

00:29:22So I had to get a new driver

00:29:23I ordered it

00:29:24And I was like

00:29:25I was excited to get this new driver

00:29:26It's one of the new

00:29:27New ones

00:29:28Like new technology

00:29:29It's going to make

00:29:29It's going to fix it

00:29:30Yeah QI4D

00:29:32It's going to fix everything

00:29:33Yeah

00:29:33Trust me it's not

00:29:35So I get the message

00:29:37I was going to come between 9.30 and 10.30

00:29:38And I'm going to play golf

00:29:40At 11

00:29:40So I'm like right

00:29:41I'm going to wait for my fucking golf club here

00:29:44I get a message from my building

00:29:45Oh there's a package downstairs

00:29:46Run downstairs

00:29:47It says delivered

00:29:48On the DPD thing

00:29:50So I'm like

00:29:50That's a golf club

00:29:51It wasn't it was some fucking Amazon order

00:29:52So I checked

00:29:53I'm like but DPD said delivered

00:29:54I checked the delivery

00:29:56Look at the proof

00:29:57The picture of proof

00:29:58He said he took a picture of custard creams

00:30:02And said delivered

00:30:04And I'm like nah

00:30:06So I checked

00:30:07Look at the fucking custard creams man

00:30:08Or was it custard cream

00:30:09Or was it custard cream

00:30:11Malt with milk

00:30:12Bro got back in the bag

00:30:13And then I went

00:30:14The worst thing was

00:30:14I showed up my concierge

00:30:16I was like oh look

00:30:16He took a picture of custard creams

00:30:17And he went no they're malt with milks actually

00:30:19And I was like

00:30:21Oh I love a malt with milk

00:30:23But I was taking the biscuit then

00:30:24So I know

00:30:24So actually

00:30:26I never want to do this

00:30:27But I actually had to bell up DPD

00:30:29I was like lads

00:30:29I would have

00:30:30It hasn't been delivered

00:30:31And he sent a picture of custard creams

00:30:33Yeah

00:30:33And they said they're malt in milks actually

00:30:35Yeah

00:30:36Obviously like actually well

00:30:37Because the guy on the phone

00:30:37He looked up

00:30:38He's like oh

00:30:39Oh yeah we'll figure that out

00:30:40And actually to be fair

00:30:41They then

00:30:42They like got onto the driver

00:30:43And he came back and delivered this

00:30:44In time?

00:30:45No

00:30:46Same day

00:30:46So I went driving this

00:30:47But they did come and relive

00:30:48I don't know what happened

00:30:50Maybe just

00:30:50You tried to rob your driver

00:30:53I think you tried to rob your driver

00:30:54Yeah

00:30:55Maybe it does happen

00:30:56So thank god I called then

00:30:57Because I guess

00:30:57Yeah

00:30:58With my car deliveries

00:30:59Because they're high value packages

00:31:01Yeah

00:31:02And the company know that

00:31:03They put a pin code on it

00:31:05But then sometimes

00:31:06He would

00:31:06It would say like

00:31:08Oh yeah it dropped off whatever

00:31:09And I'm like no

00:31:10Yeah

00:31:10No

00:31:11And I've got a box

00:31:12That's the thing about this delivery service

00:31:13And then there was one time

00:31:15He sent it again like that

00:31:17I had a picture

00:31:17Of just like

00:31:18You know my house is not near

00:31:20Like a residential street

00:31:22Yeah

00:31:22Just sent a picture of a house

00:31:23On a residential street

00:31:24And I got onto it

00:31:25And I was like

00:31:25This is nowhere near

00:31:27I couldn't even tell you

00:31:28Anywhere in my local 10 miles

00:31:30That looks like this

00:31:30Yeah

00:31:31And it's always worrying

00:31:32Because you'll think

00:31:33If he has just done that

00:31:35I'm not

00:31:35Yeah I'm shook with deliveries now

00:31:37They're not going to give me

00:31:38They're not going to give me

00:31:38My full value back for it

00:31:40Yeah

00:31:40Yeah he should see this

00:31:41He don't need that driver in his back

00:31:43Why

00:31:44He's better without it

00:31:46You know

00:31:46It's like a toxic relationship

00:31:47Like

00:31:48He knows

00:31:49It's no good for him

00:31:51He knows

00:31:51Deep down

00:31:52But every now and then

00:31:53Every now and then

00:31:54But when he does

00:31:54When he rags her out

00:31:56It feels amazing

00:31:57That's what he's talking about

00:31:58What's so special about this driver?

00:31:59Explain to me

00:32:00The new one

00:32:01Nah let me tell you

00:32:01It makes it go straight

00:32:03Nah I used it this morning

00:32:04It was a fucking nightmare

00:32:06Yeah

00:32:07Yeah

00:32:07It's the driver

00:32:09QI4D

00:32:10Yeah

00:32:10But it's too wobbly

00:32:11I couldn't obviously

00:32:12What is it?

00:32:14It's just out

00:32:15You've not got a stiff shaft

00:32:16It's the biggest one

00:32:18What do you know about me?

00:32:18Yeah that job

00:32:19I heard Kallax uses a band driver

00:32:21He does

00:32:22He does

00:32:22There she is

00:32:24They tried to rob

00:32:25Is this legal?

00:32:26This is illegal

00:32:27Yeah they tried to rob this from me

00:32:28It's nice but it's too

00:32:29You've got too wibble

00:32:30Yeah too much wibble wobble

00:32:31I'll get that sorted at some point

00:32:32Yeah

00:32:33How will you get it sorted?

00:32:34Just change this

00:32:35Get a bit more

00:32:37Stiffer one

00:32:37Yeah

00:32:38Yeah

00:32:38Yeah very cool

00:32:39So what are you buying when you buy this?

00:32:42Is it the club man?

00:32:44No I just bought the whole thing

00:32:45You could buy it

00:32:46Yeah

00:32:48The main technology goes on in there

00:32:49The technology's in there

00:32:51And then that's just a dish feel like that man

00:32:53Only nine degrees of loft

00:32:54Try and hide them fucking things

00:32:56But the issue with Harry is he comes across the ball

00:32:59Yeah

00:32:59He comes across the ball

00:33:01The ball goes wee

00:33:02And it's really open

00:33:03So imagine the balls here

00:33:04Imagine I'm the ball

00:33:05Yeah

00:33:06Harry comes across it like this

00:33:07So it fucks right off

00:33:09Yeah

00:33:09Yeah yeah yeah

00:33:10And then he loses his head

00:33:12But you know that you do that

00:33:14So why didn't you adjust it?

00:33:15I try

00:33:17Nor did I try

00:33:18I got to witness the explosion

00:33:21It was just

00:33:23Was it bad?

00:33:24Guys

00:33:25Cause it

00:33:25He finally piped one

00:33:27And it went really far

00:33:29And it just took the worst bounce

00:33:31And went out of bounds

00:33:32And I turned away for one minute

00:33:34And all I hear is

00:33:37AHHHHH

00:33:38You have to tune into vidways to see that one

00:33:40Bro it's so funny

00:33:41Did you have a good golf session?

00:33:43I had a good day

00:33:44Yeah yeah

00:33:44He actually played

00:33:45I played really well

00:33:46I don't want to spoil what happened

00:33:47But he beat a big wedge member

00:33:50No

00:33:51And by the way

00:33:52Like my score was still barbaric

00:33:54Yeah

00:33:54Like my score is still barbaric

00:33:56So someone had a bad

00:33:57Wait you beat two

00:33:58I beat two

00:33:59You beat two yeah

00:34:01Two

00:34:01Me too

00:34:02So that shows how shit the stand is

00:34:03That are big wedge frauds

00:34:04Well the issue is

00:34:06Is like

00:34:06If anything

00:34:07All members are now playing less golf

00:34:09Than they did

00:34:10So it's not a case of like

00:34:12They started the big wedge channel

00:34:13And then

00:34:13Everyone progressively played more

00:34:15And got better

00:34:15People were playing loads

00:34:17They started the channel

00:34:17Played loads

00:34:18Now barely play

00:34:20So you do degrade

00:34:21If you just don't play

00:34:22For a few weeks

00:34:23It's really

00:34:24It's such an annoying fucking sport

00:34:26Because like

00:34:26Yeah

00:34:26Is that one of the worst sports for that?

00:34:28I've picked it back up again

00:34:29And

00:34:30I went and played the other day

00:34:31For Face Dad's birthday

00:34:32I got one par

00:34:33On a whole 18 year

00:34:34But that feeling

00:34:36Is like

00:34:38It's like crack yeah

00:34:39You can't even

00:34:40But then

00:34:41The bad is so bad

00:34:43Yeah

00:34:44It's such a hard sport

00:34:45I give up

00:34:45Because all you've got is like

00:34:46All you've got is this

00:34:47On a handle

00:34:48And you've got hope that

00:34:50The shaft

00:34:50The face and everything

00:34:52Comes off perfectly

00:34:53Yeah

00:34:53You can press it all greatly

00:34:55I think that's why

00:34:56I think that's why it's so hard

00:34:57Like if you don't play

00:34:58If you don't play it all the time

00:34:59Yeah

00:35:00Because like

00:35:00It's so

00:35:02It's precise

00:35:03Like if you're even off by a couple degrees

00:35:050.5 of a degree

00:35:06Pushing it out that way

00:35:08It's fucking gone

00:35:08And then

00:35:09And then

00:35:10And you have to

00:35:10The difference is like

00:35:12On the driving range

00:35:13It's alright

00:35:13You can just whack balls

00:35:15On the course

00:35:16You live with consequences

00:35:17So that 0.5 degree that way

00:35:19Means that I'm now hitting from

00:35:21Fucking tree

00:35:23Yeah

00:35:25So then you've got to play a shit little

00:35:26Out onto the fucking fairway

00:35:28Then you top it in the fairway

00:35:29Then you just want to kill yourself

00:35:31But then

00:35:31You sound like you're reliving a specific hole bro

00:35:33But then when you fucking

00:35:34Get a pitching wedge

00:35:35Right next to the pin or something

00:35:36You think

00:36:05Yeah

00:36:07If you look at the shot

00:36:07I care about your reactions

00:36:08Oh yeah but you have to see what a shot goes

00:36:10Otherwise the reactions make no sense

00:36:11Like you have to

00:36:12And tracers as well

00:36:13Like if you watch golf on TV

00:36:14They have live tracers

00:36:16You just wouldn't see where the ball went

00:36:18Yeah it would be really difficult to do

00:36:20But isn't even in like YouTube shot tracers

00:36:22It's like a pound of trace isn't it?

00:36:23Like some of them

00:36:24Maybe

00:36:25Yeah that's a good deal

00:36:26A pound of trace

00:36:26A trace is fucking long

00:36:27If you do like a manual tracer

00:36:29It's so long

00:36:29There'll be people that

00:36:30Editors

00:36:31Just tracers

00:36:33Yeah

00:36:33That will do it

00:36:34And they'll say like

00:36:35Alright across the

00:36:35If you're doing like a video

00:36:36I'll do a pound of trace

00:36:38And if you think like

00:36:39Par five

00:36:39Five, six shots

00:36:40That's six quid

00:36:41Well you say you shoot a hundred

00:36:43That's a hundred quid

00:36:44And then you've got two people shooting a hundred

00:36:46So also

00:36:47The more you shoot

00:36:48The more expensive

00:36:48Yeah it is

00:36:49I think

00:36:50Yeah

00:36:51It's uh

00:36:52It's good

00:36:53We could

00:36:53Yeah

00:36:54I tell you what I would do

00:36:55Like when I'm older

00:36:57I might live stream

00:36:58Just get like a little like

00:37:00Sim

00:37:00Cause I always see people on TikTok

00:37:01Just doing their sim streams

00:37:02Yeah

00:37:04You can just sit there for an hour

00:37:05I should watch one the other day

00:37:05Yeah

00:37:06Cause that's good cause you can see what's happening

00:37:07It's not like a real golf ball

00:37:09We played the day after a charity match

00:37:11And we got like two hours in

00:37:12And he was like

00:37:12I think we should just play auto putts

00:37:14He was like

00:37:15That's what they do on the sim

00:37:16He's like

00:37:16Just get it within a range

00:37:17Just call it

00:37:18Yeah

00:37:18We were having a night

00:37:20We were playing golf bro

00:37:23We were just fucking hacking that shit

00:37:25Yeah

00:37:26I saw a comment on a video earlier

00:37:30And it was like

00:37:32Between golf and baseball

00:37:34I think they said baseball is the most difficult sport

00:37:36For a newbie to get into

00:37:38Ooh

00:37:40Basically it was like

00:37:42Nah

00:37:42It was

00:37:43It was

00:37:44It was

00:37:45I disagree

00:37:45College students

00:37:46Ice hockey

00:37:47Yeah I disagree

00:37:48It was college students

00:37:50Trying to deal with a pitch from an MLB pitcher

00:37:53So these guys play baseball

00:37:54Oh yeah that's impossible

00:37:55We wouldn't even be able to hit the ball

00:37:57They weren't even close

00:37:58Yeah

00:37:59Have you seen the video of the guy

00:38:00Like it's like the meme

00:38:01He's just like

00:38:01Yeah

00:38:02Stand to receive a farf pitch

00:38:03And then it just like goes past

00:38:04Yeah

00:38:06We should

00:38:06That would be a good video idea

00:38:08Yeah

00:38:08Like can we

00:38:09Be like

00:38:10Can we return

00:38:11Yeah

00:38:12Can we return a pro serve

00:38:14Tennis

00:38:14Yeah

00:38:15Save a pro goal

00:38:17A pro penalty

00:38:17Cricket

00:38:18Yeah yeah

00:38:19I've watched them

00:38:20Throw the pitch

00:38:21I do not want to be stood anywhere

00:38:22That's not a sport

00:38:23That's attempted murder

00:38:25That's attempted murder

00:38:26It's not a sport bro

00:38:27Oh my god I need a wee again

00:38:27This is bad

00:38:28Yeah

00:38:28You need

00:38:30You need a doctor's appointment bro

00:38:34I wouldn't

00:38:35Yeah I think

00:38:36Well like what

00:38:37What

00:38:37You beat

00:38:38Take a tackle

00:38:40Fuck no

00:38:41Take a break

00:38:41Yeah

00:38:41I don't think

00:38:43Catching

00:38:44Like throwing and catching

00:38:45Is basic mechanics really

00:38:47I'm not saying it's super easy

00:38:48But I think people can get that

00:38:50Yeah

00:38:51Like hitting a cricket

00:38:53Hit a bowl

00:38:53In cricket

00:38:55Or baseball

00:38:55It's just I think

00:38:56Unless you've played it a lot

00:38:57We can barely hit

00:38:58When each other bowls

00:38:59Yeah

00:39:00The rounders are struggling

00:39:01Rounders people are throwing it under arm to you

00:39:03Rounders

00:39:04I love rounders

00:39:05It's great game

00:39:05Can we do a sports day this year?

00:39:07At school when rounders was

00:39:08Oh

00:39:08I did a league

00:39:09I did a league last year

00:39:11Rounders?

00:39:11Yeah

00:39:11But I only played a few games

00:39:13But like

00:39:14You didn't want to tell the boys

00:39:15I didn't think you guys were on rounders

00:39:17I would play rounders bro

00:39:18I love rounders bro

00:39:19Yeah

00:39:21We're always short on numbers

00:39:23I'll play rounders

00:39:24I'll let you know

00:39:24I bet you're

00:39:25Home run every time

00:39:26I bet you're good at rounders

00:39:27Yeah I bet you're good at it

00:39:28The hit's not great

00:39:29But I'll get round the bases

00:39:30I'll tell you what

00:39:30He's a fucking scumbag

00:39:31I'll tell you what he does

00:39:32They'll throw it to the board

00:39:33And just tap it to the side

00:39:34And run it round

00:39:35I hate those guys

00:39:36That's not me

00:39:36I like to swing and hit bro

00:39:38I like to swing and hit

00:39:38But I remember people like that

00:39:41Scum

00:39:41Scummy scummy people

00:39:42It was in like a

00:39:44Well it was in Bermondsey Park

00:39:45Yeah but like

00:39:45It's not like a designated area

00:39:47You just like

00:39:48There was an area they played it

00:39:49But like obviously

00:39:50They don't own the area

00:39:51So people

00:39:51They go down to this league thing

00:39:52And there's people like couples

00:39:54Like there's just a couple

00:39:54Like you know when they

00:39:55They're really weird couples

00:39:56That sit like

00:39:56In each other

00:39:58They're just sat

00:39:59And the balls are fucking

00:40:00Flying past them

00:40:01And everything

00:40:01And they're like refusing to move

00:40:03I guess they shouldn't have to move

00:40:05But yeah

00:40:06Fun times

00:40:07I would play rounders man

00:40:08I love that sport

00:40:09We should 100%

00:40:10We need to find someone

00:40:12More side men rounders

00:40:13YouTube all stars

00:40:14Messy side men

00:40:15Matt's side plus eyes

00:40:16Just lit up

00:40:17Yeah

00:40:18We can do a lot of rounders

00:40:19We can do that

00:40:20And dodgeball

00:40:21We can do it as well

00:40:22Dodgeball's

00:40:23Give me rounders over dodgeball

00:40:24Dodgeball's

00:40:24Nah dodgeball would be a laugh

00:40:26I love dodgeball

00:40:273v3 dodgeball

00:40:28Would just be a laugh

00:40:28Yeah

00:40:30I like rounders more

00:40:32Yeah we both

00:40:33Yeah yeah

00:40:33Okay

00:40:33Side plus sports day

00:40:35Come on

00:40:35Hire a field

00:40:37Hire a field

00:40:38And just do a day of sports

00:40:39We hire a fucker

00:40:41We can just get a barbecue

00:40:41We played rounders

00:40:42At uh

00:40:43Dad's little surprise party

00:40:45Oh did you?

00:40:45Yeah yeah yeah

00:40:46You were not whacking balls over

00:40:47Come on bro

00:40:49We ain't whacking balls out

00:40:50No?

00:40:50No home runs

00:40:51No

00:40:52Listen

00:40:53Some went in the bushes

00:40:54But we've got enough space bro

00:40:55You know my team

00:40:56Yeah more like

00:40:57Side plus or more side men sports day

00:40:59Sports

00:40:59Rounders was fun

00:41:00It was really good

00:41:01It was really good

00:41:02Jamie was so competitive

00:41:04Yeah

00:41:04Jamie

00:41:05Yeah I can imagine

00:41:06He had to check himself

00:41:07He had to apologise to Sarah

00:41:10Sarah sorry for shouting

00:41:11He was getting real competitive

00:41:14It was funny man

00:41:16Yeah

00:41:16Yeah like around us

00:41:17Let's wait till it's like 20 degrees though

00:41:20Like perfect summer day

00:41:21Yeah

00:41:21Even today's the sea light

00:41:22It was like 8 degrees this morning

00:41:23It was a little bit too chilly

00:41:25Yeah it's not nice

00:41:25Yeah the UK weather's doing that thing right now

00:41:27Where it looks amazing

00:41:28But you step out

00:41:29Or the sun goes behind the cloud

00:41:30Or a building

00:41:31And it hits

00:41:31But mate look where we came from

00:41:33Yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:41:34The start of this year

00:41:35Oh it was raining every day

00:41:37Oh my god

00:41:38We ain't got like

00:41:38We've got one day rain this week

00:41:39We've actually fully

00:41:41Completed winter

00:41:42We've done

00:41:43When it was like

00:41:44Oh yes wake up

00:41:45It's raining again

00:41:46The whole day yeah

00:41:47Every day

00:41:48It was actual fact

00:41:49It was the longest it ever went

00:41:51Raining every day

00:41:52I was in Australia for half of that

00:41:53I'm so glad

00:41:54Yeah

00:41:54Lucky guy man

00:41:55It was depressing

00:41:56It was good for the snow conditions though

00:41:59In the ski seasons

00:42:00Cause obviously the rain turned into snow

00:42:02Happy few

00:42:02Yeah how many ski trips did you do this year?

00:42:04I don't know a few

00:42:05How many?

00:42:06What?

00:42:08Those last count

00:42:09Four or five

00:42:10Four or five skis

00:42:11You must be really good at snowboarding by now

00:42:14I'm good yeah

00:42:14I'm not even that

00:42:16I'm alright

00:42:17That's a warning

00:42:17I don't want to see that again

00:42:19Yeah but he's on camera

00:42:21You have no reason to be doing that right

00:42:23I'm trying to get my tricks better

00:42:24They do like steady like freestyle days

00:42:26And they build like ramps and stuff

00:42:27SSX tricky

00:42:28That was a great game

00:42:30I never played that

00:42:31It looked so sick

00:42:32Fucking great game

00:42:33I've even got on my Facebook

00:42:34I've got

00:42:35I used to post pictures of my high scores

00:42:37Cause I was like quite high up on the leaderboard

00:42:39For some of the runs

00:42:39I used to post it on my Facebook

00:42:41Snowboarding tricks looks so much cooler than skiing tricks

00:42:44Snowboarding is infinitely cooler

00:42:46Every degree

00:42:47Going straight

00:42:49Even going straight on a snowboard

00:42:51Nah I'm so pissed off that I can ski man

00:42:53Why?

00:42:54I'm happy I chose snowboarding

00:42:55You're a good level of skiing

00:42:55So there's no point going back now

00:42:57Exactly but that's the problem

00:42:58Skiing looks like a rich man's sport to me

00:43:00It is

00:43:02You know what I saw a video of for the first time

00:43:04And a comment reminded me that I've never seen a video of anyone playing it

00:43:06Polo

00:43:08I don't even know how polo works

00:43:09When you're on the horse

00:43:10And you're basically playing like

00:43:12It's not horse hockey bro

00:43:13Yeah

00:43:13Who's it?

00:43:15Yeah you just

00:43:16You hit it with like a mallet

00:43:17How do people not get fucking injured

00:43:19Like on a horse with like

00:43:20It's sticks and stuff

00:43:22Is it yeah

00:43:22They're really talented

00:43:23But I don't know who

00:43:25What do the horses think is happening during this?

00:43:27Don't know bro

00:43:28To be honest mate

00:43:29There's some sports bro

00:43:30I just think

00:43:31Overdoing it

00:43:32You're taking the piss mate

00:43:33Maybe

00:43:33I think now we're at a stage

00:43:35Where we're cognitive enough to go

00:43:36That didn't need to be a sport

00:43:38Yeah

00:43:38But it comes from a time when

00:43:41They don't have shit

00:43:43So they're like fuck it horses

00:43:44But now we've got so much shit

00:43:45Now we've got so much shit

00:43:46Maybe just pack it in

00:43:47Standing and slapping people

00:43:48Is a sport now

00:43:49That was deep that

00:43:50Yeah

00:43:52Some of the sports nowadays I think

00:43:54Water polo

00:43:55Oh that could be part of the fucking

00:43:57Water polo

00:43:58Water polo

00:43:59How does water polo go?

00:44:00It's just

00:44:01It's like basketball

00:44:02It's netball

00:44:03It's like netball

00:44:04You're just in a pool

00:44:05With throwing a ball around

00:44:06And then you have to throw it in the net

00:44:07So polo is horse hockey

00:44:08And water polo is water

00:44:10Water polo is nothing like it

00:44:12It's netball

00:44:13Cause you stand still

00:44:14And you throw it

00:44:15It's hard cause you're like treading water

00:44:16It's actually

00:44:16Was we playing water polo at my party

00:44:19When we was all in the pool with a net

00:44:20That's volleyball

00:44:22That was volleyball

00:44:22It was volleyball

00:44:23Yeah

00:44:25Come on

00:44:25Yeah

00:44:29Water polo is really difficult

00:44:31Like I've played it once

00:44:32And I was like half drowning

00:44:33It's a brutal game as well

00:44:34You know the pro ones

00:44:35They grab people's cocks and stuff

00:44:36What?

00:44:37I swear

00:44:38Grappled under water

00:44:40They're grappling under water

00:44:40And the water splashes

00:44:42So the ref can't see what's going on

00:44:44Now the water polo jokes make sense

00:44:46It's been great

00:44:46I'm not even lying

00:44:49I'm not even lying

00:44:49Now the drinks makes sense

00:44:50Now the drinks makes sense

00:44:51Okay

00:44:51I get it now

00:44:53Apparently also like in women's netball

00:44:55There's like serious fights that go down

00:44:57Fucking duh

00:44:59There used to be just loads of jokes about

00:45:03Zesty people playing water polo

00:45:05Oh he's on the men's water polo team

00:45:07That was a whole thing

00:45:10Yeah

00:45:11I've seen that bro

00:45:13Water polo

00:45:13We used to play at the school water polo

00:45:14That was fun

00:45:16What?

00:45:17After what we just said

00:45:19What?

00:45:20No no no

00:45:20Was it fun at school was it?

00:45:22No

00:45:22Fun memories

00:45:22Was a PE teacher

00:45:24Really good at it

00:45:24Yeah how do you know about this in water polo?

00:45:27You lot didn't play water polo in school no?

00:45:29Not at school no

00:45:30Wait my school didn't have a pool

00:45:31My school didn't have a pool

00:45:32Wow

00:45:32My primary school had a pool

00:45:34My school didn't have a pool

00:45:36Did you get on a bus and go somewhere

00:45:38Yeah

00:45:39And I've forgotten my swim shorts

00:45:41So you just go and sit and watch everyone else swim for an hour

00:45:44Nah nah

00:45:45I used to piss me off the girls that would be like

00:45:47No I'm not doing it

00:45:49Yeah

00:45:49I have to fucking do it

00:45:50It's the middle of winter

00:45:51I'm freezing

00:45:52I've got to go in this pool

00:45:53But now because you don't fancy it

00:45:54Like

00:45:55I'm not getting in

00:45:57Get in

00:45:58They used to put us in cold pools you know

00:46:00Yeah

00:46:00They have no care for us man

00:46:02Facts

00:46:04Fucking swim

00:46:04Cold shock therapy

00:46:06Genuinely

00:46:06Yeah

00:46:07Fucking barbaric

00:46:08They're fucking in Guernsey

00:46:10They take you down to the bathing pools

00:46:11No

00:46:11Which is just a fucking

00:46:12Just outdoor water

00:46:13It's the sea

00:46:14They built a fucking rock like thing

00:46:17And then the tide comes in

00:46:19And then one of the tide goes out

00:46:20It's just a fucking pool

00:46:21It's the sea

00:46:21But it's brutal

00:46:22Outside the water

00:46:23Oh

00:46:23Yeah fuck that

00:46:25That's actually rough

00:46:26But people Guernsey people

00:46:27Yeah they love it

00:46:28They love it

00:46:28UK people near the sea love the sea

00:46:31They made us

00:46:32Even if you

00:46:33I used to have like

00:46:34I pretty much had Skinhead Rooney

00:46:36The whole of my childhood

00:46:37So I didn't have much hair

00:46:38But they used to make

00:46:38Always wear a swimming cap

00:46:40Oh yeah

00:46:40I used to fucking hate swimming caps

00:46:44Yeah

00:46:44Cause stop

00:46:45I think it's just

00:46:46Hygiene

00:46:47I get it

00:46:48I do get it

00:46:49But like

00:46:49I used to think

00:46:50I'm whacking this thing

00:46:52On my bald head already

00:46:54Yeah you didn't

00:46:54The kids were knits eh

00:46:55Yeah

00:46:57Knit kids

00:46:58Knit cocktail in there

00:46:59I never

00:46:59I don't think I ever got knits

00:47:01I don't know

00:47:03Did you guys ever get knits?

00:47:04No

00:47:04Nah

00:47:04I don't think I ever got knits

00:47:06But knits were

00:47:07People had knits

00:47:09But the issue is

00:47:10No I did have knits

00:47:10Yeah I think I might have had knits

00:47:12You had eggs in your head

00:47:13I think

00:47:14Is that the same as less?

00:47:15I got it because again

00:47:16They bring their cocktails to school bro

00:47:18Head lice I had

00:47:19Yeah

00:47:19Or maybe I got head lice

00:47:20It's the same thing

00:47:21You have to get them out

00:47:22It's the same thing

00:47:23You know why though

00:47:24It's cause some parents

00:47:25Would just send their fucking

00:47:26Little germ ball in

00:47:27Like boom

00:47:29Grenade

00:47:29Germ grenade

00:47:30Send them into school

00:47:31Keep them off

00:47:31Cause then

00:47:33I'm so undeserving of these knits

00:47:34Now I've got knits

00:47:36Yeah

00:47:37Knit bag

00:47:37Yeah

00:47:38Yeah

00:47:39Is that

00:47:39That's still a thing

00:47:41Must be a thing

00:47:42Even at

00:47:43Olive's nursery

00:47:44Like

00:47:45Where Faith's mum

00:47:46Runs it

00:47:47She has to actively say

00:47:47Please

00:47:49Don't send them in

00:47:50How do they know they got

00:47:51Head lice on it

00:47:52Observe them everyday

00:47:53Stretching them

00:47:54And they'll say

00:47:55I think double check

00:47:57When you're home

00:47:58Oh yeah they've got knits

00:47:59Still send them in bro

00:48:00No

00:48:01How do you get rid of knits?

00:48:02Get the treatment

00:48:03The treatment

00:48:04And the comb

00:48:05Yeah oil

00:48:06And then you comb all the knits out

00:48:07Maybe I didn't

00:48:08I definitely got checked for them

00:48:09Maybe I didn't have them

00:48:10But I remember vividly

00:48:11I sat in the kitchen chair

00:48:12I remember they'd write letters

00:48:14Like newsletters

00:48:15Every week

00:48:15When that stuff happens

00:48:16Yeah

00:48:16The great knit outbreak

00:48:18Did you guys used to have like

00:48:19Pylons at school

00:48:20Where everyone would just

00:48:22Someone would fall over

00:48:22And everyone would just

00:48:23Yeah yeah yeah bundles

00:48:24Oh god they would

00:48:25You'd get stuck on a bot with them

00:48:26Bundles

00:48:27Bundles

00:48:28But also that's probably

00:48:29That was like probably

00:48:30A number one course

00:48:31Of sharing head lice

00:48:32We had a whole

00:48:32Cause that was just like

00:48:34Bodies and heads

00:48:35On top of each other

00:48:36We had a whole

00:48:36Why was that a thing man?

00:48:37If you fall over

00:48:39And just see 50 kids

00:48:40Oh I didn't have

00:48:41You said that someone just

00:48:42Actually fell over

00:48:43Yeah

00:48:45Never bundled

00:48:46No bundled

00:48:47Someone like schooled a goal

00:48:49Or like

00:48:50On the field in school

00:48:51They just pick someone

00:48:52And just like

00:48:52Take them down

00:48:53Yeah take them down

00:48:54And then everyone

00:48:54Why was that a thing?

00:48:56We had a pandemic one year

00:48:58Of people just

00:48:58Boating everyone in the nuts

00:49:00Like genuinely

00:49:01Like especially

00:49:02The older kids would just

00:49:03Walk around the school

00:49:03Imagine you're just

00:49:04Walking around the corridor

00:49:04They'd just go

00:49:05BANG!

00:49:06I'd just boot you in the nuts

00:49:08Bro

00:49:08It was horrendous

00:49:11What is like wrong

00:49:12Like why kids like that?

00:49:14We used to play

00:49:14It's kind of funny

00:49:15We used to play knuckles

00:49:16Yeah

00:49:17We used to play knuckles

00:49:18And then

00:49:18But then we used to put

00:49:19Yeah we used to do it

00:49:20With a pound crayon

00:49:21But then we used

00:49:22We ended up playing with like

00:49:23You put 20 peas in between

00:49:24Each one

00:49:25And then do it

00:49:25You attack

00:49:26Yeah that's just not

00:49:27That's not even the game

00:49:28The game is that

00:49:29You flick it

00:49:29We did the thing

00:49:32Where you make people

00:49:32Pass out on the wall

00:49:33I told you about that

00:49:34That one was fucking cool

00:49:35That was really cool

00:49:36We used to have like

00:49:37Rushes in the corridor

00:49:38Where like

00:49:39Everyone's

00:49:39Going to their next class

00:49:41And then you just start pushing

00:49:42We had Penny up the wall

00:49:42And then Tunnel of Death as well

00:49:44Tunnel of Death

00:49:44Tunnel of Death is great

00:49:46Oh no no

00:49:47We did it with bags

00:49:48We weren't kicking them

00:49:49Oh no no no

00:49:52Everyone would like crowd

00:49:53Hold hands like that

00:49:54And someone would have to run

00:49:55Through the middle

00:49:56Why would you choose

00:49:58To run through the middle?

00:49:59You'd lose something

00:50:00You'd lose

00:50:01You'd lose headers

00:50:02You'd lose headers

00:50:02You'd lose 60 seconds

00:50:03Yeah you'd lose 60 seconds

00:50:04And then Tunnel of Death

00:50:06We used to have

00:50:07We used to have

00:50:07The bridges

00:50:08Where you just

00:50:09Kneel down behind someone

00:50:10And push them

00:50:11Oh yeah yeah yeah

00:50:11Now I think about it

00:50:13That's super dangerous

00:50:14Pants in people

00:50:15Pants in was bad

00:50:16Pants in was good

00:50:17Tripping people up

00:50:18Used to always be

00:50:19I used to hate

00:50:19I used to fucking hate getting granddadded

00:50:22That was a phase

00:50:23Where people would

00:50:24Like with their jumper

00:50:25Yeah

00:50:26When it got to your shin

00:50:27They would just pull it

00:50:28What?

00:50:29That's a good one

00:50:30I remember that

00:50:31That's a good one

00:50:32Yeah yeah yeah

00:50:32Just like on the field

00:50:33That's not barbaric

00:50:35Because you would go flying

00:50:35Yeah

00:50:37How many times that happened to you?

00:50:38At least three

00:50:40The one

00:50:41The other one they took

00:50:42Take your blazers

00:50:42Pull it over your head

00:50:43So you can't see anything

00:50:44Did anyone used to have

00:50:45Like a lunch card

00:50:46So as was done on like a lunch card

00:50:48You used to scan your card

00:50:48Put pound coins in

00:50:49And that's your credit for your lunch

00:50:50Everyone used to just go around

00:50:52Just swiping their card

00:50:53On people

00:50:53Yeah your school was fucking shit

00:50:55Yeah

00:50:56And then you'd walk home

00:50:57And you'd be like

00:50:58Well my blazers fucked

00:50:59Nah

00:51:00What else did I have?

00:51:01Did you like wear tires at school?

00:51:03Yeah peanuts

00:51:03Peanuts

00:51:04People used to get pocketed

00:51:05People used to get put in bins

00:51:07We didn't have anyone put in the bins

00:51:08I remember

00:51:09I never made it into a bin

00:51:11I was really close at times

00:51:12I wasn't in the bin

00:51:13But I remember seeing

00:51:14I was tempted to put me in a bin

00:51:15But I don't think

00:51:16I thought enough to not end up

00:51:17I remember seeing one of my friends

00:51:18Like just legs out the bin

00:51:20And I thought

00:51:20Fuck

00:51:21We just accepted his face

00:51:22I didn't say anything

00:51:23I'm not going to do it

00:51:24Fuck

00:51:24So then the cartoon

00:51:25Yeah

00:51:26I didn't see you in the bin

00:51:29Why would kids like that?

00:51:31Like imagine like

00:51:31Are they still like that?

00:51:32We were probably like

00:51:33I don't think

00:51:33With cameras now

00:51:35Cause stuff get filmed now

00:51:36Even the school was like

00:51:37We had CCTV in school

00:51:38But not like

00:51:39Not like everywhere

00:51:40Yeah

00:51:41Now I bet all the schools

00:51:42You could see everything

00:51:43I got caught doing something

00:51:44Real bad on CCTV

00:51:46You know fire extinguishers

00:51:48Yeah

00:51:49You know like the tile ceilings

00:51:50No

00:51:52We'd finished football training

00:51:53So we went up to our lockers

00:51:55And we was like

00:51:55Oh my god the fire extinguished

00:51:57Let's just start fucking spraying it

00:51:58So we're just spraying it

00:51:59In the corridors

00:52:00Going to the classroom

00:52:01Spraying it at the lights

00:52:02And because they're like the panels

00:52:03If you spray it

00:52:04And the panels look like

00:52:05They're jumping

00:52:06Right

00:52:07So we're just spraying it

00:52:08Spraying it

00:52:09And this was a Friday

00:52:10So we have the whole weekend

00:52:11Yeah

00:52:12Go in on the Monday

00:52:14I get pulled up the minute

00:52:15I come in the door

00:52:16It's like they were watching

00:52:17Waiting for me

00:52:18Yeah of course

00:52:18Come in

00:52:19And they pull me up to like

00:52:21There was like a seating area like this

00:52:23And then like the corridor goes there

00:52:24So I can't see in the seating area

00:52:25So she pulls me

00:52:26She's like what

00:52:27Do you have anything

00:52:28No no no what was you doing prior there

00:52:29After football training

00:52:30Oh nothing

00:52:31I swear nothing

00:52:31I didn't do nothing

00:52:32I don't know what you're talking about

00:52:33And then she went alright

00:52:35We'll go around the corner and sit there

00:52:36And I see my friend there already

00:52:37And I was like fuck they've got

00:52:38I know that they've seen

00:52:41And then they explained it

00:52:42And I was like we got you on CCTV

00:52:43And I said no you haven't

00:52:45And then my mum bless her

00:52:47She's going

00:52:48No he wouldn't do that

00:52:49He wouldn't do that

00:52:50He wouldn't have done that

00:52:51It was not my boy

00:52:53Literally got the footage of him just spraying

00:52:55What was the punishment?

00:52:55I think I got put in exclusion for like two days

00:52:58What's that?

00:52:59It's your own classroom

00:53:00Yeah

00:53:00No you sit in like a cubicle

00:53:02And then just it's the full day in there

00:53:04It's not

00:53:05To be fair you got away quite well with that

00:53:07Full day in the cubicles

00:53:07You still do classes

00:53:08Yeah you do even worse things

00:53:10You don't play with anyone

00:53:12Or talk to anyone

00:53:12No

00:53:13And it's like

00:53:13Pages of like shitty questions

00:53:15Yeah it's shit

00:53:17I got a five day off site exclusion once

00:53:19That was sick

00:53:20That's almost a

00:53:21Yeah but that's just because I was

00:53:23I just didn't want me at school

00:53:25Yeah that was fucking lit though

00:53:27Right when they pulled you for the one on one interrogation

00:53:30Oh

00:53:30That was terrifying

00:53:31And then like you said you go round the corner and you see someone else that's involved

00:53:34And it's like oh my god they got us

00:53:36They got us ladies and gentlemen

00:53:37Are the only you like ever get sent out?

00:53:40Of class

00:53:40Yeah

00:53:41Yeah yeah yeah

00:53:42I used to find getting sent out in areas

00:53:44But then they used to fucking

00:53:46I used to get

00:53:46I could see the teacher's face boiling

00:53:48Because I didn't

00:53:49I didn't find it like serious

00:53:51Right

00:53:51I'd find it fucking hilarious

00:53:52You think what you're gonna get me up and then I'm just gonna stand out the door like this

00:53:56So I used to just poke your head in the glass

00:53:58Yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:53:59That little glass in the door

00:54:01Yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:54:02I used to just

00:54:02But then the issue was right

00:54:04You like you used to pray that another teacher wasn't like patrolling the corridor

00:54:07Yeah yeah yeah

00:54:08She'd be like what are you out here for?

00:54:09And then the head a year comes past something

00:54:11Yeah yeah yeah

00:54:11I just I never

00:54:12I never took school that seriously

00:54:14Which is again it's a bad thing don't do it if you listen

00:54:16Because I just found it fucking hilarious

00:54:18What was your worst year at school?

00:54:20Year

00:54:21Year 8

00:54:22I was gonna say

00:54:23Year 8 was the darkest year

00:54:24Once you've already done like the

00:54:26Year 7 I've been now

00:54:27And then year 8

00:54:28You're right

00:54:29You're not doing it now

00:54:30You have SATs

00:54:30Year 10 and 11 you have GCSEs

00:54:32Year 8

00:54:33We had a

00:54:34Even 8 and 9 a bit of a write off you know

00:54:36Did you have like an intranet

00:54:37Like a school intranet

00:54:38Yeah yeah yeah

00:54:39We had one of them

00:54:39So we had green stars and red stars

00:54:41And then you could see everyone's schools almost

00:54:43It was like a leaderboard to motivate good kids for being at the top

00:54:45Yeah

00:54:46But there was also a bad one

00:54:46I got minus 468 in year 8

00:54:50How many negative stars?

00:54:52So like

00:54:52Yeah cause it was

00:54:53It was like world record levels of behaviour

00:54:56So like

00:54:57Yeah

00:54:57Any 15 minute detention wouldn't turn up

00:54:59I ain't going to that

00:55:01Then they give you another one

00:55:0245 minute detention

00:55:03You got the one at a time

00:55:05So you got 460

00:55:06Yeah yeah

00:55:06And then like I was sent out would be like something

00:55:09Whatever

00:55:09Bro I was barbaric at school

00:55:11That's actually

00:55:11I guess once you've crossed a threshold though

00:55:13Like I don't give a shit

00:55:15I got called smoking a cigarette in the staff car park

00:55:17Fucking slapped me with a couple of minds for that

00:55:19I don't give a shit bro

00:55:21This is what school's driven me to

00:55:22You know

00:55:22I'm smoking like

00:55:23I know you come out here for a cigarette

00:55:25At 13 years of age

00:55:26I'm so clean

00:55:27Why would you do it in the staff car park?

00:55:29I didn't think

00:55:29I didn't think there's cameras in the staff car park

00:55:32Cause I was like

00:55:32They come out here and smoke

00:55:34Yeah they're going to come out and smoke and see your fucking kids

00:55:36Mate do you know

00:55:37I just went into school bro

00:55:39It didn't suit me one bit

00:55:40But that is

00:55:41The punishments can only get so bad

00:55:43But then also like

00:55:43If you give me 45

00:55:45Yeah

00:55:45I guess what

00:55:46I'm just not going to come again

00:55:48And then

00:55:48They started sending teachers to my last period

00:55:51So like if I had English last period

00:55:52They'd come and pick me up bro

00:55:54So then I'd get the ump and tell them to fuck off

00:55:56And then

00:55:56Can't tell the teachers to fuck off

00:55:58What do you mean you come and pick me up bro?

00:56:00It is true

00:56:00It's only so

00:56:00Being a teacher must be hard enough to deal with like

00:56:04I wouldn't want to have dealt with me

00:56:05Oh man

00:56:05Even nowadays it's even worse right

00:56:07Cause you can't really do like

00:56:08Anything

00:56:09No no no

00:56:09Back at like

00:56:10Yeah yeah yeah teachers were definitely close to hitting us

00:56:12Oh yeah

00:56:13I'm not saying

00:56:13I nearly had a scrap with my D&T teacher

00:56:18He tried to come and get me during my lunch time

00:56:21We was at football

00:56:22He marched out onto the football pitch and tried dragging me off it

00:56:25So I just said

00:56:26Alright I'll fight you now

00:56:26On the spot

00:56:29Coldest

00:56:30Yeah I was like

00:56:30Let's have a fight then

00:56:31Let's have a scrap cold

00:56:32I don't know how teachers do it

00:56:34I wouldn't be able to

00:56:35Like the prime

00:56:36The rage bait

00:56:37Secondary rage bait

00:56:38Oh my god

00:56:38I think rage bait would be worse now

00:56:40100%

00:56:41I think it's way worse now

00:56:42Yeah

00:56:42Back then it was just naughty kids bad behaviour

00:56:44Now I think like

00:56:45It's purposeful like

00:56:47Really purposeful rage baiting

00:56:48I think we had a supply teacher once

00:56:49That was crashing out

00:56:50And kids

00:56:51The kids

00:56:52And some of the kids in class

00:56:53Stacked tables and chairs

00:56:55In front of the door

00:56:55So she couldn't leave the classroom

00:56:57Oh my god

00:56:57She's like I'm going to get like

00:56:58The head of year

00:56:59And they just blocked the classroom door

00:57:01Supplies team

00:57:03Supplies team

00:57:03They were fucked

00:57:05That's crazy

00:57:05Like she's crying

00:57:06And there's kids literally building

00:57:08A barricade in front of the door

00:57:09While she's crying

00:57:10In the front of the class

00:57:11This is

00:57:12I know as well

00:57:13My Spanish teacher

00:57:16We went in one of our

00:57:17You know their desks

00:57:18With their computer

00:57:18When our door went

00:57:19And there was just like

00:57:20Straight bottles of vodka in there

00:57:21I understand it bro

00:57:23I understand it

00:57:24I understand it

00:57:24Lunch fucking

00:57:25They're like

00:57:26Teachers are our age now

00:57:28Everyone has shit going on

00:57:30Imagine you're going for a tough time

00:57:32And you are coming to school

00:57:33With all these fucking

00:57:35Little you

00:57:36Little me

00:57:37Just pissing them off

00:57:39It's not

00:57:39It's actually problematic

00:57:41We made

00:57:42My form made our year 8 teacher

00:57:44Cry

00:57:46That's like

00:57:47She cried

00:57:47And then

00:57:48It gets worse bro

00:57:49I promise you

00:57:51She moved to the other side of the world

00:57:52Oh yeah

00:57:52She moved to Australia

00:57:53Yeah

00:57:54Fuck man

00:57:55There's so many

00:57:56Things at school bro

00:57:57That were just

00:57:58Like I loved school for what it was

00:58:00But I fucking

00:58:01It was not made for me at all

00:58:03It's gonna be

00:58:03You're right

00:58:04It's worse now

00:58:04I think nowadays

00:58:05It's more catered for

00:58:07Students like me anyway

00:58:08Who like

00:58:09I would pick things up really quickly

00:58:10But then I like

00:58:11Doing something with it

00:58:12Rather than like

00:58:12Just constantly

00:58:14There's definitely

00:58:14Yeah

00:58:15There's definitely

00:58:15And like

00:58:16Just the way people's

00:58:17I can't pay attention for your hour long

00:58:20Just sitting there

00:58:20They definitely

00:58:21Yeah yeah yeah

00:58:22So

00:58:22I think the government have just done a thing

00:58:24Where they've banned phones

00:58:25Yeah they have

00:58:26Which is good

00:58:27I don't know

00:58:27That's a good thing

00:58:29But yeah

00:58:30I just

00:58:30It didn't fit me

00:58:31Even my

00:58:32I had like one of them support teachers

00:58:34Where like

00:58:34If I was

00:58:35If I could feel

00:58:36Or like

00:58:37If the teacher knew I was getting

00:58:38Fucking over stimmed

00:58:39Overwhelmed

00:58:40And I was just gonna

00:58:42It's just like

00:58:43A support room

00:58:44Whatever

00:58:44There's two

00:58:44Two support teachers

00:58:45That sort of just work for it

00:58:46It's in my documentary as well

00:58:48Miss McCartney

00:58:49She said in that

00:58:51She was like

00:58:52It just never suited him

00:58:53And that's not necessarily his fault

00:58:55But it just never suited him

00:58:56But I think nowadays

00:58:56It's way

00:58:57Way better

00:58:59It's mad

00:58:59When you think about it

00:59:00Like they were literally

00:59:01Our age and younger our teachers

00:59:03Yeah

00:59:03You look at them like these

00:59:04Like 22 year olds

00:59:05Yeah

00:59:05But you don't look at them as humans as a kids

00:59:07No

00:59:08They're just like

00:59:08These invincible people

00:59:09With all this power over you

00:59:11So you just treat them

00:59:12Like they're not human

00:59:13But also

00:59:14They had to play such a careful game

00:59:15Yeah

00:59:15Because if they're too strict

00:59:17Then like

00:59:18It's funny to wind them up

00:59:19Yeah

00:59:20But then also

00:59:21If they're too lackadaisical

00:59:22It can get so out of control

00:59:23Tell you what

00:59:24There was teachers bro

00:59:25Honestly

00:59:26There was a couple

00:59:27That got the balance

00:59:28Like perfectly

00:59:29Right

00:59:29They're the goats

00:59:30Where like you love them so much

00:59:32Where when one person

00:59:33Pisses them off

00:59:33You're like

00:59:34No

00:59:34Don't do that bro

00:59:37Yeah

00:59:37Don't do that

00:59:38But some of them just got cooked

00:59:40Because they're too far the other way

00:59:41Most of them

00:59:42I'll tell you what

00:59:42The goats

00:59:43The PE teachers in my school

00:59:44Were always the goats

00:59:45They were just like

00:59:46They were just like

00:59:47One of the boys

00:59:48It was bad

00:59:48I remember

00:59:49There was one teacher

00:59:50Every time she turned to write

00:59:52On the whiteboard

00:59:52Like someone would throw

00:59:53Like a cut piece of rubber

00:59:54And throw rubber

00:59:55They'd be like

00:59:56Who was that?

00:59:57You can't there's no proof

00:59:58You know

01:00:00Literally

01:00:01Oh man

01:00:02The gays we used to play

01:00:03When the teachers

01:00:03Did you ever do the table racing?

01:00:05No

01:00:06It's like

01:00:07You've all got like

01:00:07Little two desks

01:00:08Two people to a desk

01:00:10And you try and move

01:00:11As far as you can

01:00:11Without them noticing

01:00:12What the desk?

01:00:15That's so fun

01:00:15That's so bad

01:00:17So anything but doing the school work man

01:00:20Is bad

01:00:21Shout out school man

01:00:22Yeah

01:00:23I kind of miss it

01:00:24I don't miss it

01:00:25I definitely didn't

01:00:25But like

01:00:26I kind of do

01:00:26It's a weird time in your life innit?

01:00:28Well listen

01:00:29Kids

01:00:30Young people listening

01:00:31Be good at school

01:00:32And I hope that it suits

01:00:34All the children with

01:00:36Neurodivergent brains

01:00:36Like myself bro

01:00:37So shout out to you lot

01:00:39Shout out to teachers

01:00:40Big round of applause

01:00:40Especially supply teachers

01:00:41Big round of applause

01:00:42Goodbye

01:00:42Nice

EP 240 - Tunnel

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