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00:03You
00:04Don't look away
00:17I might just do this all day
00:37I
00:38Five comedy show ponies put through their paces at the gymkhana of laughs the grand national of chuckles the dressage
00:45of mirth
00:46Who will get off to a good start on firm ground today?
00:49Who will refuse at the first jump and who God forbid will have to be humanely destroyed?
00:55Find out now, please welcome Amy Glethel
01:01Armando Iannucci
01:03Joanna Page
01:06Joel Domett
01:08And Kamel Nanjani
01:12And next to me a man who is surprising in so so many ways he loves to paint for example
01:18He's a keen bird watcher and he has a tattoo on his lower back that simply reads free britney
01:26Mmm
01:26Mmm
01:28Little Alex Hall
01:31I
01:32Just think it's about time
01:34Get a hat
01:35How are you going to irritate me in the first two minutes of this show?
01:38I'm not going to irritate you I've got something that I'm going to show you that you're going to love
01:42Because I got my very first smartphone
01:47You want to see it?
01:48Yeah
01:49It's a smartphone
01:50Yeah
01:50It's a smart, it's a smart, look there's a little face
01:54Smart phone, it's all dressed up smart
01:56Yeah
01:56Right
01:56Yeah
01:58I thought you'd like that
01:59I mean I think two things I'm irritated because that will be the end of the joke there'll be no
02:03Right
02:03Or you think there should be more
02:04Is there a follow-up?
02:05I knew I knew you were going to say that
02:07Don't just make sure you think of a follow-up to the really funny smartphone
02:10Yeah
02:12I sort of think there's something in that
02:14I think sort of moronic teenagers would buy that wouldn't they?
02:17Well I've got three so yeah maybe I'll ask them when we get home
02:19Put the face up again
02:20It's my face
02:21Whee
02:23Nice
02:24Can we copyright that live on air?
02:27That's a thing isn't it?
02:28Copyright
02:29Copyright
02:31On with the prize task
02:32What have they brought in this time?
02:34Well Greg we've still got loads of good ideas for prize task categories
02:37But this week they've brought in the most fun thing to drag behind you on a piece of string when
02:41you go for a walk
02:43We all drag string behind us when we go for a walk
02:46But what's the most fun thing to be on that string?
02:49Well the owner of the thing judged to be most fun will be given five points by you Greg and
02:52also this is important
02:55No actually I'm done
02:57That was it
02:58Been quite funny today
03:02Hello Kamal
03:03Greg
03:03I'm a 47 year old man Greg
03:05Yeah
03:06And uh to me nothing is more fun than going to bed at a reasonable hour
03:11So what I would love to drag behind me on a piece of string is an early to bed kit
03:16Let's look at it
03:18Okay
03:20It's a it's a clock without an alarm set
03:23Melatonin sleep mask and a diary with one plan that they cancelled on me on
03:31Oh i'm getting hard just thinking about it
03:35This is one sweet bit of kit
03:38You and i should hang out more often
03:40I just did one giant bed
03:42You know biscuits
03:445pm dinner and then to bed
03:46Joel what's your fun thing to drag around on a bit of string
03:49A parachute
03:52Attached to your hip right
03:54Here is a video of me dragging such a thing behind me
04:05You might have noticed the sort of eagle-eyed amongst you that there was some writing on that parachute
04:10Prepare yourself
04:10You're going to absolutely love this here we go
04:12Shoot from the hip
04:14It's a play on words
04:15It's a play on
04:15You don't like play on words
04:17I know you don't
04:18Don't like it
04:19I know you don't
04:20I was really
04:20It's not clever puns aren't clever
04:24Not a fan of a masked singer i assume
04:28I have not missed an episode
04:31I don't mind the play on words
04:33I love you having a parachute because you're far too healthy and fit and bouncy and happy
04:39And i like the idea of you being slowed down occasionally
04:42It's nice
04:43Amy you're next what have you brought in
04:45Well i brought a projector on wheels projecting a fun video
04:52And it is a fun video
04:56I shall be the judge of that
05:00This is what Amy brought in
05:04Oh
05:11That's just constantly playing to charge the battery 50 minutes and it'll play that for an hour
05:17It's uh
05:20Sort of a thing
05:21I think a phenomena of some kind
05:24That it's only the long breast i can concentrate
05:28I find what's fun
05:33So you started with a blank canvas
05:35Well that blanched your paper
05:36What's in life
05:36What's fun
05:37Circled it
05:39Yeah
05:40And then put a little circle in the middle of that circle
05:50One of those bags isn't fun
05:54Joanna
05:55I have brought a hip flask
05:58In the shape of a fish full of sherry
06:01Yes
06:02Thank you
06:04That's a sensible voice
06:07Now my love of sherry started when i was about seven
06:15So i lost my appetite after chicken pox my nan who was a matron in a hospital told my mum
06:22the best way to get my appetite back was to give me sherry
06:24How many medical standards have changed over you
06:27So my love of sherry started then
06:29It then continued when we got our first dog a spaniel
06:32Oh no
06:33Hang on
06:35You weren't eight when you got the dog were you
06:37No i was about eight
06:39We're not going year by year
06:40We used to take our dog for a walk down park mill which was this lovely place in the woods
06:47But there was a pub and then a big car park and then you'd walk out the back and there'd
06:51be the woods
06:52My dad would get the dog out and then they'd go into the pub get me a glass of sherry
06:56and i'd have my glass of sherry
06:58And then we go for our walk and so that is why i think everything in life is better with
07:04a glass of sherry
07:05So if i'm going for a walk i would have a hip flask full of sherry
07:10Funny isn't it not only have i had time to write down joanna one point
07:16I've drawn two flowers either side
07:19Armando
07:20Right fun
07:21I thought a person who
07:24You'd be surprised to me but then when you saw you think oh yeah that is fun
07:28Which is lorraine kelly and i thought i could drag her on an improvised trolley
07:33Okay
07:34Which is what i've done
07:35Yes
07:35No
07:44So the winner of the episode gets this cardboard cutout of lorraine kelly on a trolley
07:50I don't know who that is
07:51How dare you that's like me asking you who thomas jefferson is lorraine kelly drew up our constitution 200
08:04And every morning defends it on air
08:08I really liked all of those and it feels very mean to give joanna one point um but there we
08:13are
08:15One point to joanna if you hadn't stuck the pun on it it'd have been right up there two points
08:19to joel okay
08:19Honestly i think you'd be at the top of the pile if it wasn't for the long breast
08:23Just three points okay a man after my own heart four points um but how can i beat
08:30How can anyone beat lorraine kelly being dragged on a trolley of course five points
08:38What's up first please alex uh well we have an instruction heavy task that will give everyone a brand new
08:46earworm
08:56You must now sing these words with me hello hello are you okay have a seat okay
09:07How are you i'm good are you comfortable yeah you're loud
09:13Oh hello
09:17Okay before you open that yeah
09:40Oh
09:40Be better if the wind was going in a different direction
09:43They're biodegradable joel i'm glad you clarified that oh my god i wish i put those on first
09:50I bet it's going to say time started when the confetti cannibal goes off i've i've seen this show
09:56Nice to see you nice to see you it's a lovely day for tasking
10:01Put on the headphones obey the instructions and build the tower when you think you have built the correct tower
10:07you must clap
10:09Three times fastest correct tower wins your time started when you first blinked yeah you did blink when the confetti
10:17went off
10:17Oh well because you yeah but uh yeah i've seen it i've seen this show
10:25By grown adults who react to a confetti cannon going off in the way that normal people would react to
10:31being attacked by a tiger
10:33Have to build a tower
10:35Yes they do shall we then we shall and first up it's the edinburgh comedy award-winning stand-up amy
10:41gledhill and also joel dominic
10:47At the bottom of the tower there is a red brick at the top of the tower there is a
10:53blue brick on top of the bottom red brick there is a yellow brick
10:57You must hold up two green bricks within the next two seconds otherwise alex will dismantle your tower
11:03Lovely
11:04You must now sing blue green yellow green yellow
11:08Your turn blue green yellow green yellow
11:11Now wink at the camera
11:14Above the lowest yellow brick there is a yellow brick above that yellow brick
11:19There are two more bricks then a yellow brick you must hold up a blue brick in your left hand
11:24And a red in your right hand in the next two seconds otherwise alex will dismantle your tower
11:30Very nice you've got some confetti in your hair okay
11:33You must now sing these words blue red yellow yellow red blue red yellow red red
11:39Oh
11:40You can do better than that close
11:42From the bottom it goes red something something red something something green something something blue
11:49The bottom brick should be red yes
11:51Now wink at the camera
11:54Wink at the camera
11:56Now wink at the camera
11:58Now wink at the camera
12:00Blue red yellow yellow red
12:03That bit's right
12:04The bottom brick is red
12:05Yes i know that
12:06That's blue green yellow green yellow
12:10Now wave to the camera holding a red brick in your right hand and a blue brick in your left
12:15hand
12:15Otherwise alex will dismantle your town
12:17Oh what was that?
12:18Oh fuck
12:19I forgot where around it was
12:21No please don't do it
12:23You didn't wave to the camera tell
12:25You didn't wave to the camera
12:27Let's start again
12:28Blue green yellow green yellow
12:32Yes
12:32Blue red yellow yellow red
12:34Yeah
12:59You may remove your headphones is it right looks right to me
13:05Fuck
13:06You're annoying
13:15Amy i've got a question for you
13:17Yeah
13:17Have you ever winked before?
13:23I can't do without opening my mouth and sort of doing this horrible thing right now
13:29Can we have a look at amy's wink?
13:30Oh no
13:31Okay here's her wink
13:36Were you annoyed at any point?
13:38Um yeah i was
13:40You were very sad when you when you grabbed them like a child
13:42When you grabbed the tower
13:44Wow i've never hugged a brick before
13:46You've never you said you've never held a brick before
13:48That was the first time that it felt like i'd done manual labour
13:54The times are not that bad joel 11 minutes 44 and amy 9 minutes 53 in the lead at the
14:00moment well done very good
14:01All right oh well done
14:03Shut up
14:05It's the end of part one you think of what you're talking shut up
14:08LAUGHTER
14:16APPLAUSE
14:20Welcome back to taskmaster where alex has tormented our cast with his horrible whiny voice
14:25LAUGHTER
14:27Red green yellow green yellow
14:29Yes they just have to follow my simple instructions to stack the coloured bricks in the correct order
14:34When happy with their order they need to clap three times to end the task
14:38I can't stress enough how important that bit is
14:41And so comes the turn of two guys with very manly names it's Armando and Kumail Hunky
14:49That back there
14:51At the bottom of the tower there is a red brick at the top of the tower there is a
14:57blue brick
14:57Blue is the top
14:59You must now sing these words with me blue green yellow green yellow yellow your turn
15:05Yellow blue green yellow yellow green yellow
15:09The bottom brick is red remember yes and the top one is blue okay now wink at the camera
15:15Blue red yellow yellow yellow red lovely guantanimal bay
15:22From the bottom it goes red something something red something something green something something blue
15:29Oh my god blue green yellow green yellow
15:41Blue red yellow yellow blue blue red blue red yellow yellow yellow red
15:46When you think you have built the correct tower you must clap three times
15:52Blue red yellow yellow red
15:56The even bricks are yellow red yellow yellow blue yellow red yellow yellow blue
16:05The correct tower you must
16:08Right yellow yellow fucking red
16:15Are you nearly finished have you nearly finished?
16:19I don't know
16:22Thanks come out. How's it going? I mean, I'm miserable you must clap three times
16:29Blue green yellow green yellow your turn blue green yellow green yellow
16:45I forgot I could stop it at any time. I thought I had to listen to all of this. Yeah,
16:51I enjoyed that. Hmm. I'm glad you enjoyed it
16:55You finished it half your time ago, so I did this for twice twice as long as I needed to
17:01exactly that. Yeah
17:07I
17:08Mean absolutely
17:10Textbook apart from forgetting the three claps your wink was in
17:15Nice one of the loveliest winks I've ever seen. Yeah
17:18Well when I was very young my dad told me you should be able to wink so that only the
17:22person you're winking at knows you're winking
17:25What a creepy bit of advice
17:33I know
17:33Yes, do you have a good time doing that one part my brain? I was enjoying myself
17:38And another part I was thinking why yeah, oh, I mean just reordering colored bricks. She's died weirdly
17:49Because I saw that thing about how it helped someone and who wants to be a millionaire
18:00That is wrong way it sort of felt like we were watching someone playing a game in an old people's
18:05home. Yeah, I
18:07Have taken it the wrong way
18:13Yeah, well, I mean obviously Camille would have been the fastest so far by quite a long way
18:18Really had he clapped when he was told to clap
18:21But 12 minutes 06 literally couldn't be closer to Armando's because he was 12 minutes 30. Oh couldn't be closer
18:27Who's next finally it's time to see Joanna page stacking it
18:33I'm on
18:36Okay, that's for the top
18:39Blue red yellow yellow red what the hell is that it's green
18:46Then a yellow brick then another brick the top is blue so that must be green this is it's not
18:53right
18:53It's not right. Is there anything else that's going to show me?
19:06Okay, right
19:08I've stopped the clock. I mean I genuinely probably would have kept going all day. Yeah, I think so you
19:14were nowhere near getting it right
19:25Oh
19:26Well, I didn't trust you I knew something was up and also I just couldn't follow the song
19:31She was getting nowhere near it. Yeah, they took her eight minutes 50. Oh
19:36If we went by who did the tower first I would have had the shortest time huge if you did
19:41it the best and the second life
19:42So in it if I hadn't consistently eaten pies my whole life. I'd be able to run
19:52Unfortunately, Amanda, you're last with one point Camel you get two points because you were so slow in the end
19:58Don't
19:59Joel was third three points four points away me, but Joanna page gets the full
20:02Feels like it's scoreboard time is it it is and it's so close at this stage Armando, Joanna and Camel
20:13in joint second on six points
20:14Amy's in the lead with seven points
20:22Oh
20:23Yes, I'm just like our relationship this task involves an equal amount of hugging and grunting
20:39All up right here's the donkey he's oh my god, he's got plasters on his bum
20:44Oh
20:45Oh
20:47Please don't touch that or look underneath it. Sorry
20:51Yes, let's have a look
20:53Paint the best painting of the painting while hugging. Oh that must be a painting
20:59One person must always look at the original painting and hug the other two people with both arms
21:07The other two people must always look at the new painting the hugger may only grunt
21:14Did you write this
21:16The painter may ask questions for one minute then for the rest of the task they may only say colors
21:23shapes or directions?
21:25Colors shapes or directions ten minutes your time starts on the whistle. I can't draw for toffee. I don't mind
21:35Do you want to have a go? Okay, I'll paint. Okay, I kind of want to paint you want to
21:39paint all right
21:40I might actually put my hands under there
21:43Yeah
21:43I'm going to get a paint brush in each hand
21:46Okay. Okay. Are you looking at the painting?
21:49Oh!
21:53I had no idea, on top of all your many talents, that you could do impressions
22:00Who's that? Oh, well, you don't know your own impression. Let's see it again
22:06Oh! Painting I am!
22:11Let's see them do some painting
22:13Yes, here they all are, painting and grunting and holding each other tightly
22:19Is it a human? Uh-huh
22:21It's a human. Is it the Prime Minister?
22:24Uh-uh
22:24Is it an animal? Uh-huh
22:27Yes, it's an animal. Is it a horse? Is it a donkey? Uh-huh
22:31It's a donkey? Uh-huh
22:34Is it a man? Uh-huh
22:36Is it just his head or is it all in his body?
22:38Uh-uh
22:40It's a...
22:40He's on a horse
22:41He's on a horse
22:43He's on a horse
22:44Is that grunting?
22:44Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
22:45He's on a horse
22:46Uh-huh
22:47Is a horse with a jockey? Huh?
22:48Is it Putin?
22:50Uh-uh
22:50Okay
22:55Is the horse brown?
22:57I'm going to start on a brown horse. Is there anything?
22:59No
23:00Oh!
23:01Colours, shapes and directions, please
23:02Is it blue?
23:04Is it red?
23:05Is it red?
23:05Is it yellow?
23:06Is it yellow?
23:07Orange?
23:07Oh-oh
23:09Skin colour, white?
23:11Oh!
23:11Skin colour?
23:12Is that a shape?
23:15Colours, shapes and directions, Joanna
23:16Colours, shapes and directions, Joanna
23:18No
23:21Any squares?
23:23Uh-uh
23:23Square!
23:25Any circles?
23:26Circles
23:26Any triangles?
23:28Triangle!
23:29Diamonds
23:29Uh-uh
23:30Uh-uh
23:31Uh-uh
23:33What other shapes are there?
23:35Rombus
23:36Uh-uh
23:37Birds
23:38In the sky
23:40Green?
23:41Uh-uh
23:42I've done quite a lot of green
23:44Oh
23:44Get brown down
23:45Oh
23:46Round
23:47Get brown down
23:48Uh-uh
23:51Uh-uh
23:52Uh-uh
23:52Uh-uh
23:53Uh-uh
23:54Uh-uh
23:54Uh-uh
23:54Uh-uh
23:54Uh-uh
23:58Will you stop painting?
23:59Do not look back?
24:02Kamau, you can look at what they did
24:07Honestly, it's not bad
24:08Honestly, it's not bad
24:09Yeah!
24:17You did some interesting grunting, Amanda
24:19I've never heard anyone grunt he's on a horse
24:21There was a bit of flexibility on the rules
24:25They also said leg as a shape and I guess a leg is a shape
24:28Well, no it isn't
24:30Is it not?
24:30No, it isn't a shape
24:32Is it not?
24:33No!
24:34If someone told you to draw a leg shape, you'd know exactly what to draw
24:38That's true
24:39Very clever
24:43We'll see their paintings after you have watched some adverts
24:46And Alex has flossed me
24:48Bring forth the gooch floss!
25:00Oh, yes!
25:01Welcome back to Taskmaster and an ultimate team task involving painting and grunting
25:07Oh, yes
25:08One person from each team could look at the original painting while the painters held them
25:12And ask questions
25:13The answers could of course only come in the form of grunts or in Armando's case quite a lot of
25:17words
25:18Let's see the team of three's picture first of all
25:22Well, this is what Joel, Amy and Kamel came up with
25:26Oh!
25:27I haven't seen!
25:29Wow!
25:31You used to say that Freddie Mercury didn't ride horses
25:36We don't know
25:37R.I.P.
25:38Look at all those beautiful leg shapes
25:40Yeah
25:41And look at the direction of the horse as we compare the two
25:44Yeah
25:45Oh!
25:46The only thing that's laid it down, it's pretty good
25:48Yeah
25:48It's pretty good
25:49Quite a coquettish back leg from their horse
25:55May I?
25:57You might not think it's quite as good when you see what the team of two managed to come up
26:01with
26:01Ready?
26:02They did this
26:15That was with Armando saying full word
26:18Yeah
26:19I think I made the mistake by facing the man forward
26:23Because that's what Putin does in the photo I've seen of him
26:27So the man's forward but the horse is sideways
26:30What is the horse?
26:32It's got a new
26:33Hang on, where's the horse?
26:34It's years are down this way
26:35The only way you have the horse is if it was painted seconds after it was hit by a bazooka
26:43I haven't said this in 20 series but I sort of think you should be removed from the show
26:51Let's have a look at all three
26:52Okay, all three and then some points please, Greg
26:55It says something when that painting with Freddie Mercury on
27:00Sitting on the back of an anteater is by far the best thing
27:05So is that five points for the team of three?
27:07Of course
27:07Right
27:08Of course
27:09And now it's
27:11How low do we go I suppose
27:14So I was going to give you two points
27:16Do you need to be penalised for Armando's flagrant cheating
27:19So you'll have one point and you'll thank me for it
27:22It's one for the team of two, it's five for the team of three
27:24Right, well done
27:28Let's get on with the next task please
27:30Okay, and Taskmaster gets all classy now
27:33As this task involves ascension via a gilded royal staircase upon which there are boobs
27:51Alex?
27:53Kamal?
27:57Oh
27:58Oh
28:00Oh
28:01Oh
28:03Have you seen it?
28:05Have I seen what?
28:06This
28:08Like the echo
28:09Me too
28:10How are you?
28:12Good
28:15There's so many boobs
28:17Greg did the high ones
28:22It's the alphabet
28:24Nothing gets by me
28:25Get to the top of the staircase
28:27You must take one step at a time
28:32On each step you must discard a letter
28:35And say at least one word
28:38You must not use a word
28:40I love to start it again because I'm not listening to what I'm saying
28:46Get to the top of the staircase
28:50Feels like a bit of me this
28:52You must take one step at a time
28:54On each step you must discard a letter and say at least one word
29:00You must not use a word containing a letter you have discarded
29:04And you must not repeat any words at any point
29:07Nah that's not a bit of me this
29:09Really not a bit of me
29:10You must not repeat any words at any point
29:14Otherwise you must start again
29:16Highest step reached wins
29:18You have ten minutes
29:20Your time starts on the whistle
29:22Do you understand?
29:24It's very condescending
29:27Yes, I understand
29:28It's pretty simple
29:30All the information is on the task
29:32If you want to put on the alphabet gauntlet
29:35Look at this
29:40This is going to go badly
29:41There are 25 steps
29:45Are there 25 letters in the alphabet?
29:48There are, aren't there?
29:49Are there?
29:50Roughly
29:56So early on you said, oh this is a bit of me this is
29:59Right?
30:00And then later you went, oh actually this is not a bit of me
30:03What happened to change your mind that this was a bit of you?
30:06I realised that when I said oh this is a bit of me
30:08Yeah
30:09Er
30:09It was just steps
30:11Right
30:13That's why I'm intrigued
30:15So
30:17So the thing that's a bit of you is walking up steps
30:20Yeah
30:21And I'm always interested in digging into an actor's method
30:25Your method is to say the words but not think about them
30:34Yes
30:34Yes
30:36Yes
30:37Yes
30:38Right, who are we going to see first?
30:40First up it's Ian, Dom and Paige
30:42That's Ian Ucci, Domit and Joanna Paige
30:53Hi
30:54Just say the letter and then the word, that would be crazy
30:56Z
30:57Hi
30:57Hi
30:58Yeah, hi
30:59Okay, you've now said yeah as well so just let's not say yes again please
31:05I'm discarding the letter X
31:09Fruit
31:10I'm discarding the letter Z
31:14Dromedary
31:15Dromedary
31:17G
31:18Hamster
31:19N
31:20Mouse
31:21T
31:22Buzzard
31:23Back
31:24What's the letter?
31:26T
31:27T
31:27Back
31:27Okay, what's the letter?
31:29S
31:29Mm-hmm
31:32O
31:33What's the letter?
31:34R
31:34Yep
31:34K
31:36K
31:36Pool
31:37Y
31:372J
31:38Pool
31:39P-O-O-L
31:41S
31:41Helicopter
31:42Yeah you've got a T in helicopter unfortunately
31:45Yes, but you can't use words using any of these letters
31:49Yes, but you can't use words using any of these letters
31:49Yeah, it's harder than you thought it was
31:52Same
31:54Pardon?
31:54Same
31:54Well, I don't think you can say that really because what was the one you just put down?
31:58So now you have to put them all off and start again
32:00I understand it now
32:00Yep, don't say anything else
32:02I get it
32:02Okay
32:03We're in
32:04Yep
32:04Let's go
32:04Okay
32:05I'm discarding the letter
32:09W
32:09B
32:10U
32:11O
32:13Lovely
32:14We're halfway through the alphabet
32:15Yes
32:16Well, you can't really say yes
32:18No
32:18Because you've got rid of Y
32:21Sorry about that
32:22Can I ask a question?
32:23Do I have to say I'm discarding the letter?
32:25I don't know why you're doing that
32:26I thought you said
32:28Well
32:28This changes everything
32:30G
32:31House
32:32B
32:32New
32:34S
32:36Bus
32:38No, let's start again
32:39Y
32:40Low
32:43X
32:43Soppy
32:45Soppy
32:45You've had Y though, so start again
32:46Oh
32:47concrete
32:48Door
32:49Light
32:50R
32:52This is where we got to last time
32:57Why
32:57Why
32:58Why
32:59Pardon
32:59You're saying why
33:01Whylight
33:02Stop
33:02again E
33:03Is
33:04there a W W
33:06Also
33:06not appropriate One
33:07minute, 30 less Oh,
33:09no Q F**k
33:11SAGE
33:11Peace Still got
33:13a minute
33:1320
33:13Hey Balance EAgle 5
33:18I
33:1945
33:20seconds Navy
33:25How are we spelling nail?
33:28Is it with an eye?
33:30No.
33:33Are we spelling it wrong?
33:35Yeah.
33:39Um...
33:41Oh, you can just, like, look at this.
33:43Yeah, we've only got 15 seconds now.
33:45Just look at this and, like, spell stuff off that.
33:47Well, you said that twice, so start again.
33:49You've got ten seconds.
33:51Shall I just take the ten seconds just to think for, like, a moment,
33:54and I would just enjoy the fact that we're in a beautiful place?
33:56Yeah, yeah.
33:56Let's have a look around.
34:02BUZZER
34:03Uh, B.
34:06Thin.
34:08BUZZER
34:08And that is your time up.
34:10Your language in the last one wasn't great.
34:12Yeah, lovely.
34:13Imdusgar, the NLF.
34:14Yes.
34:15Right.
34:17I'm off for some ice cream.
34:19LAUGHTER
34:26I wrote down that Joel and Armando are very different men, aren't they?
34:31Mm.
34:31And my evidence for that was that your opener was high
34:35and his was dromedary.
34:37LAUGHTER
34:39Would you all like to see a grown man say a word
34:42that he knows he shouldn't be saying?
34:44Mm-hm.
34:44Let's have a look at that.
34:49LAUGHTER
34:54Yeah.
34:58It's so cute.
34:59It's like a lady's going to be like,
35:01we've pissed, what should we do next?
35:02And you're like...
35:04LAUGHTER
35:04..why?
35:05LAUGHTER
35:07You'd start going,
35:08fucking pissed, was that?
35:09LAUGHTER
35:10I shouted, bomb!
35:11Which I just thought...
35:13No.
35:13I know, I just...
35:14I wrote down something when you started...
35:17Armando has started to look like a politician having a breakdown in Westminster.
35:22LAUGHTER
35:22Joanna was most confident in her decisions, I thought you were.
35:25I had a system, and it was animals, and that...
35:29Every third word you said was an animal.
35:30Was it?
35:31Strange pattern of vocabulary.
35:33She got the highest out of these three, except for Armando.
35:37LAUGHTER
35:38She got the eleventh step, Armando the twelfth.
35:40Joel, very pleased with his eight.
35:41I'll take that.
35:42I'll take eight.
35:44Yeah, I'll definitely take that.
35:45I just enjoyed the step.
35:47LAUGHTER
35:48Right, that's the end of part three.
35:50In part four, someone will wear the hip flask, a parachute,
35:53some melatonin, a video of a lady dancing in the nudge,
35:57and a trolley with Lorraine Kelly in it.
35:59It sounds like one hell of a night out.
36:01Get me in!
36:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:10Welcome back to the final part of the show,
36:13and a task which feels like a sad metaphor for the ageing process.
36:17Yes, I suppose you're right.
36:18They're struggling to get up the stairs,
36:20then forgetting what they're doing,
36:21and heading back down again.
36:22And they seem to have lost the most basic of vocabulary.
36:25It's a laugh though, isn't it, Greg? It's a laugh.
36:27Simple rules.
36:28Simple rules.
36:29Lose a letter every step.
36:30Don't repeat words or say words that contain the lost letters.
36:33Just two people left to go.
36:34It is Amy and Kamel.
36:39Box.
36:41Put it on the floor.
36:43Wherever you want.
36:45Right, now pick it up and start again.
36:48LAUGHTER
36:49You've discarded X and then used the word box,
36:51which has an X in it.
36:52I wanted to do it the other way around, didn't I?
36:56Z.
36:57Hello.
36:58Hello.
36:59X.
37:00Hi.
37:01Hi.
37:03Box.
37:03No, you said box.
37:04You can't repeat words.
37:08On the step.
37:10No, you've got to be on the step.
37:14You can say X, that would be helpful.
37:15X.
37:16Great.
37:16Great.
37:17And what word are you going to say?
37:19Cheese.
37:22W.
37:24Ice cream.
37:24J.
37:25South.
37:25G.
37:26North.
37:26L.
37:26East.
37:27F.
37:27Bob.
37:28V.
37:30Loaf.
37:34Chuck.
37:35Plum.
37:36Watch.
37:36Pen.
37:37Sob.
37:38Whale.
37:38Mend.
37:39Hide.
37:41C.
37:43Hour.
37:44Hour.
37:45Spelling.
37:46Hour.
37:46H.
37:46Hour.
37:47H.
37:48Hour.
37:49O.
37:49U.
37:51Bar.
37:52S.
37:53Tam.
37:54E.
37:54Ampt.
37:56Am.
37:57E.
38:00I.
38:07N.
38:09Ah.
38:10Ah.
38:22What a performance from both, really.
38:24Strong.
38:25Wasn't it?
38:25Yeah.
38:26Apart from the double box nightmare.
38:27Oh, yeah.
38:28I didn't quite get it and then I got it.
38:30Then you got it.
38:31Then I got it.
38:32And I knew you were sure when you got to the word loaf.
38:35You said loaf so threateningly.
38:38Loaf.
38:38Loaf.
38:39Very whole.
38:40Yeah.
38:41I never thought I would see a grown man discard a child's play letter and say aye and internally
38:49go, aye, so cool.
38:51I feel like that was the best I ever did on any of the tasks.
38:55Well, you say that, there's a slight...
38:57Oh, no!
38:58Don't do this!
38:59Yes!
39:00Yes!
39:01Can I don't...
39:02What?
39:02Sorry.
39:03Hey, hey, hey, hey.
39:04So, ten seconds ago I was saying how cool you were.
39:07Yeah.
39:08Can I say something?
39:11Wiggle your boobs.
39:13When...
39:13Oh, my God!
39:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:18The thing was, you ended up with two letters and Amy ended up with one letter when they
39:22got to the top.
39:2425 steps, 26 letters, but you still had two left.
39:26Imagine if I did better.
39:28LAUGHTER
39:30Nowhere near, John.
39:31Nowhere near.
39:32LAUGHTER
39:33There's no way wank boys beat them.
39:36LAUGHTER
39:37What I love about this episode, it started with someone struggling with a wink
39:40and ended with someone struggling with a wank.
39:42Yeah!
39:44Right.
39:44Isn't that right?
39:45That's right.
39:48APPLAUSE
39:49Oh, that's...
39:50That's a lovely bit of work.
39:53Once you've all gone, we'll re-record that with me, Sagan.
39:56LAUGHTER
39:58Well, we couldn't understand what happened with all the letters,
40:01so have a look at this.
40:03H.
40:04Our.
40:04O.
40:05U.
40:05R.
40:06S.
40:07Rib.
40:08U.
40:09Was it rib or rip?
40:11Buh.
40:11R-I-B.
40:14U.
40:15U.
40:17U.
40:19U.
40:20U.
40:21U.
40:26Congratulations.
40:27I know the alphabet.
40:29LAUGHTER
40:31You didn't discard the U on a step until you took a second step with the U,
40:35so you took one extra step.
40:37You had already got to 20 at that point.
40:39I just want you to know that I did not cheat on purpose.
40:44That was an oversight.
40:46I would never cheat.
40:47That's what Nixon said.
40:49LAUGHTER
40:50I am not a cheat.
40:52So, points-wise, eight steps for Joel, one point.
40:55Joanna got to 11.
40:56Two points.
40:56Armando, 12.
40:57Three points.
40:57Camille, you got to 20 steps, you get four points.
40:59But the winner?
41:0025 steps, all of them.
41:01And five points to Amy Gretel.
41:04APPLAUSE
41:06Quick look at the scores, then, shall we?
41:09Yes, I think we could have our first look at the series scoreboard,
41:12an early look at that.
41:13We have three men in their 30s.
41:15Camille's on 37, Armando, 36, and Joel, 35.
41:18Two women in their 50s.
41:20Oh!
41:21Way ahead.
41:22Joanna's got 50 and Amy's got 53 at this point.
41:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:29Yes, and also...
41:31Oh, for God's sake.
41:35Take it out!
41:36Take it out!
41:37Take it out!
41:38Take it out!
41:40Take it out!
41:41Take it out!
41:41Take it out!
41:41Take it out!
41:42Take it so long today!
41:44Oh!
41:45Just in time.
41:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:48OK, everyone, please make your way to the stage
41:51for the final task of the show!
41:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:02Hello, you delightful cherub.
42:05Hello, Greg.
42:05These are available at just £19.99.
42:08LAUGHTER
42:09Who will be reading the task out?
42:13Armando Iannucci.
42:16The Colonel.
42:18OK, here we go.
42:20Transfer Greg's balls from your bucket to your beaker.
42:24You must wave with one hand at all times and that hand must not touch balls or snooker cues.
42:30Also, your snooker cue must balance with one end touching the table at all times and you can only touch
42:36your snooker cue with your non-waving hand.
42:40For every one of Alex's balls that ends up in your beaker, three of Greg's balls will be subtracted from
42:47your score.
42:48I'm already questioning this as I'm reading it.
42:50You have 100 seconds, most Greg's balls wins.
42:53They had to be Greg's balls, did they?
42:56For this task?
42:57Everyone likes them.
42:58Oh, really?
43:00You can all grasp your cues now, as Armando is.
43:03OK.
43:04And have one hand ready to wave.
43:06So they must be waving at all times.
43:07Greg, if they don't wave, we need to be on them.
43:09Oh, I'll be on them like a puma.
43:11It's grub and go.
43:12Start waving and start transferring balls.
43:16They're off.
43:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:21Wage all waving.
43:23Waving.
43:23Waving, please, Joel.
43:24Waving, Joel.
43:25Waving.
43:30Waving.
43:30Waving.
43:31Oh, no.
43:32Oh.
43:34Waving.
43:35Waving.
43:36Waving.
43:37I like one.
43:39Waving.
43:40Hello, Camille.
43:45Good.
43:48Hello, Amy.
43:49Hello, Amy.
43:50Hello, Amy.
43:51Hello, Amy.
43:51Oh!
43:52Oh!
43:52Oh!
43:52Oh, Armando.
43:54Your balls are everywhere, Greg.
43:57Oh, my God!
43:58Oh, my God!
43:58Right.
43:59OK.
44:0015 seconds left, everyone.
44:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:07Eight seconds left.
44:08Wave.
44:10Waving.
44:11Waving.
44:12Four, three, two, one.
44:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:21You got some Alex's.
44:22Oh, my God.
44:22I got some Alex's.
44:24Ah.
44:25Well, Doug, I'm going to have to count out how many Alex balls are in there.
44:28Beakers.
44:29Yes.
44:30I'll be honest, halfway through, I forgot which one was supposed to be in there.
44:34Oh, my God.
44:36Which one were we supposed to have in?
44:37Greg.
44:38Greg's balls.
44:38Greg, Greg.
44:40Well, it was fun.
44:42LAUGHTER
44:43Listen, we'll add them up.
44:44We'll add it to your final scores.
44:45Come down and join me.
44:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:49How fun!
44:54Well, well, well.
44:54Well, exactly, I can say that.
44:56Well, well, well.
44:56A lot of balls in tubes.
44:57Were they the right balls?
44:59Well, interesting.
45:00I mean, Amy and Joel both got 11 balls in tubes.
45:05Oh, Joel was like a machine, Joey.
45:06Was like a machine, but was he like a good machine?
45:09LAUGHTER
45:11Six of me, five of Greg's.
45:12That's a score of minus 13.
45:14LAUGHTER
45:16Oh, wank!
45:24Armando and Joanna both put four of Greg's balls in the bucket, correctly.
45:28Kamel put eight balls in.
45:30One was an Alex, which means you get a score of five.
45:32You're in second place, but the winner, five points, 11 of Greg's balls.
45:35Amy Gledhill again.
45:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:40You want to hear the final scores, then?
45:44I want to hear the final scores, then.
45:45In joint fourth, Joanna and Joel with 12 points,
45:48but in joint first, by herself, it's Amy Gledhill with 22 points.
45:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:53Amy Gledhill wins the episode.
45:56Please head up to go silly with your string, the Pauls thing!
46:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:05So what have we learnt today?
46:06Well, we've learnt a lot about people.
46:09Some actors don't think about what they're saying,
46:11they're just saying the words.
46:12Some people cough in words.
46:14Some people think that skin colour is a shape.
46:17LAUGHTER
46:17It's been a funny old show.
46:20It started off with someone struggling with a wink.
46:23LAUGHTER
46:24APPLAUSE
46:25And Andy...
46:25..our someone struggling with a wink.
46:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:37Get out of here.
46:46And Andy...
46:46We're off again, but here's your winner.
46:48It's Amy Bladhill!
46:56Olivia Munn, hard-fie and a rip-roaring start to your weekend.
47:00TFI Friday's Unplugged and brand-new 5 past 11 tomorrow night.
47:04Warmer Frick with beautiful renditions of the king of rock and roll
47:08across Edinburgh and Liverpool in the latest from your songs streaming now.
47:12Next tonight, it's been described as an instant classic.
47:15It's a double big mood.
47:18It's a double big mood.
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