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TV, Movie, Allo Allo S9E06 - A Winkle in Time
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00:21Yesterday we all went to the coast for the annual fishmonger's parade.
00:25However, when we got there, we found that the Allied invasion had already started.
00:30Our float was commandeered by the retreating Germans, and I had to ride a tandem back to
00:36Nuvion, dressed as King Neptune, with Edith as Venus unadorned behind.
00:42That is behind me on the bike.
00:46Unfortunately, my Winkles got caught in the chain, and I was forced to hitchhike back here
00:53to welcome the Tommies, or the Yankees, which is why we have boiled beef and carrots and
00:59hamburgers on the menu.
01:01Oh, René, is it not wonderful?
01:05Soon we shall be free.
01:07Oh, it makes me want to throw my arms around you and kiss you passionately.
01:12Let us wait until the Allies actually arrive at the café, Edith.
01:16Then we can celebrate.
01:17I have the champagne all ready.
01:20Soon the corks will be popping.
01:22There will be hugs and kisses and tears will flow.
01:26And then I will sing as I have never sung before.
01:32Just the thought of what you describe makes my eyes water uncontrollably.
01:37My stew and dumplings will give the troops strength for their long march to Berlin.
01:43With your dumplings inside of them, they will be lucky to get past the bus stop.
01:50Good morning.
01:52Good morning.
01:54I have splendid news.
01:56The British and the Yankees are heading this wound.
02:01I have a mop.
02:03Would you like to take a leak?
02:07Oh.
02:08Oh, a map.
02:11The British are here and the Yankees are here.
02:16Look, René.
02:17They are only an inch away.
02:22Edith, this is a little map.
02:24It will take them days to get to Nouvion.
02:26But even so, it is obvious that the Americans will get here first.
02:30Oh, we must make them welcome when they arrive.
02:33What do you have in mind?
02:34Well, Mama has some records of American music upstairs.
02:37I could go and get them.
02:39A few words of Yankee would be a hilp.
02:42Could you teach us?
02:44Well, of course.
02:46Have you got any bubblegum chum?
02:50And biddy can you spare a doom?
02:56Get the records, Edith.
03:00René, I must beat you urgently.
03:02It will have to be quick, Yvette.
03:03I assume you are still having a bit of Nicky with your Bormade.
03:10That is none of your buzzness.
03:14Bog off.
03:17What is it?
03:19René, you promised to marry me when the invasion started.
03:22No, I said when the war was over.
03:25Which means when the Allies actually arrive here at the café.
03:28Well, then will you marry me?
03:30You have my word as a hero of France.
03:32Oh, and you deserve nothing less than an hero's reward.
03:36Me.
03:41Somebody is at the window.
03:47Hello!
03:49Oh, my God, not them.
03:51The British airmen have come back.
03:53They don't seem very pleased to see us, Casters.
03:56But I say, any chance of sheltering us until our chaps can pick us up?
04:01We were shot down towing in a glider.
04:07What are they saying?
04:09I have no idea.
04:10I do not speak a word of their language.
04:12I don't think he understands.
04:15You be the glider and I'll tow you.
04:18He'll soon get the gist.
04:26What are they doing?
04:33They are either speaking Hindustani or doing a fertility dance.
04:42I think it is a fertility dance.
04:47Honey, Michel wants to speak to you at once.
04:50Oh, no.
04:51Not the British airmen again.
04:53He remembers us.
04:55Michel can sort this out.
04:58Oh, I think we're getting through.
05:00About time these froggy peasants are damn slow on the uptake.
05:03Good grief.
05:05What are they doing here?
05:06Why not ask them?
05:09I say, chaps, what are you doing here?
05:12Advanced glider squadron shot down.
05:14Need a place to hold up for a while.
05:16Ah, they were shot down.
05:19You will have to hide them, Renée.
05:20No.
05:21Under no circumstances am I hiding these two idiots here.
05:24But if you turn them out, they could get caught,
05:27and they could point this place out to the Germans.
05:29We shall all be in the you-know-what up to here.
05:34Oh, all right.
05:35Mimi, Eva, take them down into the cellar.
05:38Look, Renée.
05:39I have found the records.
05:41Hello!
05:42Hello!
05:44No.
05:45In front of my very eyeballs.
05:48History repeats itself.
05:50We will be history if we do not hide these two.
05:52Don't go, chaps.
05:53You'll be quite safe in the cellar.
05:55Oh, darling, good.
05:56Cheerio!
05:57This is incredible.
05:59How on earth did I...
06:00There is no time to explain now.
06:01I have something very important to tell you.
06:08Listen very carefully.
06:10I shall say this only once.
06:12We intend to blow up the German ammunition dump outside the town.
06:16Monsieur Alphonse and I are going out in his earth,
06:19which is loaded with explosives.
06:20We will go to the top of the hill,
06:22which overlooks the ammunition dump.
06:24We will let the earth roll down the hill onto the dump,
06:28blowing its sky-eye.
06:29But you told me it was a piece of cake.
06:32We are on the spinning wheel of fate.
06:35Fate can take a flying jump at a rolling doughnut.
06:39Renée, you must go with Michelle.
06:41What?
06:42You are a hero of the resistance.
06:44People will call you a coward if you refuse.
06:47And your statue will not be erected in the square.
06:49People will spit at you in the street.
06:53Coward!
06:54I will go.
06:59Perfect.
07:00I must be off my rocker.
07:03Good luck, Renée.
07:05And when you return,
07:06I will give you a night to remember.
07:14Either way, it is a suicide mission.
07:21General von...
07:23General von Klinkerhofen.
07:31There will be no retreat and no surrender.
07:34Not via garrison commander.
07:36We will hold this town to the last man and the last bullet.
07:39Will we be the last men?
07:42Very likely.
07:43Take this.
07:46Anyone caught deserting their post will be shot.
07:56I have put a guard on your front door.
08:01I am not staying here for the last stand.
08:03What do we do? What do we do?
08:05Tie my long yarns to the balcony and we will climb down.
08:09Come on.
08:12You should wash these by hand.
08:14The quality is far too good to send to the lawn.
08:16The only way,
08:17theăżokŃĐŒ flamethrower is high.
08:18The only way that you can put a guard on your back.
08:23He was the famous trumpet band
08:24The mops of the way.
08:26The man who took his top
08:27And no one else was playing.
08:29He was the top man and the trap.
08:31A man who suffered me was
08:33And he was armed with the draft.
08:34He's in the army now,
08:36I'm going reveille.
08:37He's the boogie-woogie bugle boy
08:39And he's all the bugle parties of the same
08:43He put his own job, but he couldn't jam
08:46The captain seemed to understand
08:48Because the next is a captain
08:51He's the bugle boy
08:53When he was traveling
08:54He's the boogie-woogie
08:58Winnie!
08:59Did you succeed in blowing up the ammunition dump?
09:02No, but we did get a big van of vegetables.
09:07I do not understand
09:08We must go upstairs on Radio London
09:11Here, Mimi, you take these
09:12Put them in the kitchen
09:14Yvette, look after the bar
09:16But what happened to Michelle?
09:18She has gone to tell Monsieur Alphonse where his urse is
09:20And where is it?
09:23Everywhere
09:38Take your bromide
09:44Shut up, you silly old fools
09:47Hello, London
09:48This is Naito calling
09:50Are you receiving me?
09:51Over
09:52Hello, Naito
09:53This is London receiving you loud and clear
09:56What is your message?
09:57Over
09:58We have failed to blow up the ammunition dump
10:02And we are very unpopular with the greed grocer
10:05Over
10:06Do not worry, Naito
10:08British commandos will be with you shortly
10:10They will take care of everything
10:12Over and out
10:14Ben?
10:16That is the last message I am sending
10:18For me, the war is over
10:22You're right, Naito
10:24I knew it all along
10:26You are a resistance fighter
10:29It's not just a resistance fighter
10:32He is Naito
10:34Shut up, you silly old bat
10:39As the war is nearly over, we will turn the blind eye
10:43Just do us the painting of the fallen Madonna
10:45So we can escape and sell it
10:47But I do not know where it is
10:49I glued it between two of my menus
10:51And now I cannot find it
10:53Oh, Colonel, without the painting
10:55I fear the game is up
10:56And the British commandos will be here very shortly
10:59So up yours
11:01Oh, no, not the commandos
11:04They are such rough fellows
11:07Can't be surrendered to somebody else
11:10What about the British airmen in the cellar?
11:13He did
11:15The British airmen?
11:17Are they still here after all these years?
11:20Well, on and off, yeah
11:23He will surrender to the British airmen?
11:27What a relief
11:29I've always got on rather well with airmen
11:36I think upstairs someone's coming
11:39Damn, it's the Jerry's
11:42They wish to surrender to you
11:45He's going to shoot us
11:47He's going to shoot us
11:47The swine
11:53I don't think they understand us, Colonel
11:56Cooper, I've just had an idea
11:58Why don't we take their uniforms and escape in disguise?
12:05Take off your clothes
12:06What's he saying?
12:08Sorry, old boy, don't speak a word of the lingo
12:20My God, what's he doing?
12:25This could be a good moment to quote the Geneva Convention
12:30I think he just wants our clothes, Fairfax
12:33What a relief
12:35For a moment I thought I was back at Eton
12:40The cursed British and Americans are only hours away
12:43Von Smallhausen
12:46Reveal the midget submarine
12:47Yes, Fairfax
12:54It looks like two baths put together
12:57You have a keen eye, Helga
12:59It is two baths put together
13:03Von Smallhausen has spent the last year
13:05Digging a tunnel from here to the old boathouse on the river
13:09Once at sea, my uncle Heini Sarmuin will pick us up
13:12And take us to South America
13:13You will lie down inside it, Helga
13:17With your nose in the plughole
13:20I will lie on top of you
13:22And pedal all the way to the coast
13:25In second thoughts, I think I'll take my chances with the British
13:27Very well
13:28Von Smallhausen, open the secret tunnel
13:31Yes, Fairfax
13:44Fairfax
13:44Will you be leaving me my share of the ten million francs?
13:48No, but you may have this as a memento
13:53It's a missing booby from the painting of the fallen Madonna
13:59Cheap's gate
14:02We need to get the champagne out
14:08Oh, René, do I look all right for the commandos?
14:11You never looked better, René
14:15Oh, welcome, good to see you, dear friend
14:19Oh, welcome to the fairfax
14:22Major Twistleton Smythe
14:24Five commando British special forces
14:26My second in command, Captain Starkington
14:28This town is now under Allied control
14:31What does he say, René?
14:34Do not ask me
14:36I have arranged to take the formal German surrender in here
14:40But first, I want to speak to one René Artois
14:43Alias Nighthawk of the Resistance
14:46René, he mentioned your name
14:48I am René Artois
14:50This must be the chap, sir
14:52Well, give me the medal, Starkers
14:55René Artois
14:59In recognition of your daring work for the Resistance
15:01I'm empowered by His Majesty King George
15:04To award you the MBF Medal
15:06Oh, Magnificent Brother of France
15:15Oh, thank you
15:17Don't tell him it really stands for Mad Bloody Frog
15:22Oh, my God
15:23No, no
15:24What do you say, Starkers?
15:26Who are these two?
15:27Well, they look like British Airmen, sir
15:29Must be Fairfax and Carstairs
15:31The two who were shot down
15:32Damn glad to see you, chaps
15:35Ew
15:36Woffle, woffle, woffle, woffle
15:45Woffle, woffle
15:51I'm General Von Klinkerhofen
15:53Commanding Officer of the Nuvion Garrison
15:55To avoid the unnecessary loss of lives of my men
15:59I now formally surrender to you
16:05Lucky you speak a little Jerry, sir
16:08Yes, isn't it
16:09I accept your surrender
16:11Where are the other officers of the garrison?
16:17Unfortunately, I'm the
16:19Good God
16:20Colonel Wollstone
16:21Lieutenant Grover
16:22What are you doing here?
16:24Stay to attention
16:27These are my officers
16:30Impersonating British Airmen
16:32This may well be held against you
16:34Sorry, old boy
16:36Don't speak a word of the finger
16:41Nice try
16:43Where are we, Von Smallhausen?
16:45By my calculation
16:46Only this wall divides us from the river
16:50Excellent
16:50Von Smallhausen
16:52Get into the bath
16:53Yes, sir, flick
17:02Goodbye, Helga
17:04You may give me one last kiss
17:07Before you push us through the wall
17:08And into the river
17:10Forget the case
17:11But I should be pleased to give you the push
17:16Now all we need are the local Gestapo officers
17:19And we'll have everyone in the bag
17:28General
17:30I have to announce
17:31That upon your orders
17:33I have captured
17:33Herr Flick and Von Smallhausen
17:35To turn over to the British
17:45This is not the river, Von Smallhausen
17:48These look like Gestapo officers
17:50They are
17:51A very junior one
17:52I'm a cadet
17:56All Germans will be held in the town jail
17:58For the time being
17:59Take them away, chaps
18:07Goodbye, René
18:09How I wish we'd been on the same side
18:13Put in a kind word for me
18:15I will do my best, Captain
18:19Me too
18:21Tell them
18:22I'm a pussycat, really
18:29Mimi, Yvette, drinks for the officers?
18:31Quickly
18:33And now
18:34There's an entertainment
18:36I remember one British song that I heard on the radio
18:39Edith
18:40Edith, no, please
18:41Edith
18:43You know, this isn't a bad little place, Starchus
18:45I think we'll billet ourselves here for a day or two
18:50Now look what you have done
18:53Oh
18:54Oh, what a disappointment
18:57Still, at least for us, the war is over
19:00So is your singing career
19:05Big René
19:06We still have each other
19:11The price of victory is always high
19:13I think we'll billet ourselves
19:56My goodness
19:57My dear Helga
20:00Nouvion has hardly changed at all
20:02Oh, look, Hubert
20:04There's a statue of René
20:06How handsome he was
20:10I wonder if
20:12After all these years
20:14His cafe is still here
20:16Let us go and see
20:19Wait for us here, Eric
20:20Yes, sir
20:33Even to the smell of garlic
20:36How it brings back
20:38How it brings back memories
20:39He was so young
20:47My eyes deceive me
20:49No, it is René
20:53How has he defied the years
20:56I am weak with shock
21:00Welcome to Café René
21:02Would you like a table?
21:04René
21:05Do you not recognize us?
21:08Do I know you?
21:10It is I, Lieutenant Gruber
21:13And this is Helga
21:15Now my wife
21:16I think it is my father
21:18You want
21:18You want the son of René?
21:20Yes
21:21I bear his proud name
21:23Oh
21:24And
21:25Is the senior René
21:27Still alive?
21:50Look at me
21:52Hey, Carl, we are visitors.
21:59Our chauffeur looks very familiar.
22:10No, no, it cannot be.
22:14It is Colonel Van Stroll.
22:18This is golly not.
22:29Who is this?
22:31Oh, it is my waitress, Yvette.
22:33She is the only one strong enough to push my chair.
22:37What are you doing here, Colonel?
22:40We come back to revive old memories.
22:43We?
22:45Herr Gruber, Lieutenant Gruber, you knew?
22:48He's here with his wife, Helga.
22:51They're with me.
22:52Lieutenant Gruber, married.
22:56He became a millionaire art dealer after the war.
23:00I'm his chauffeur.
23:02They have six grown-up children.
23:06Six?
23:07I never knew he had it in him.
23:14Mimi!
23:16Mimi!
23:16Give him!
23:18Oh, will no one hear the cries of an old woman?
23:25Shut up, you old bats!
23:27Where have you been?
23:29Lieutenant Gruber is back.
23:31Are you of word running talking to him as I came up the stairs?
23:34No, no.
23:36Oh, I must go down and talk with him.
23:40Here, help me on with my dressing gown.
23:45Papa!
23:46Papa!
23:55Papa, there are some old friends here to see you.
24:08You are looking well, old friend.
24:11Lieutenant, I can hardly believe my eyes.
24:16I thought you would have married Madame Edith.
24:20He never got round to it.
24:23But he had promised to marry me
24:26as soon as we find the missing portrait
24:28of the fallen Madonna with the big boobies.
24:32Then whose little boy is?
24:34An orphaned baby left on the doorstep.
24:37I told him that I was his father.
24:39To spare him the shame.
24:42Of course.
24:44Kind as always.
24:45I see they have erected a statue to you, René.
24:48Oh!
24:52What is this?
24:55Ah.
24:57Look.
25:01Oh!
25:02Oh!
25:03The painting of the fallen Madonna!
25:07So that...
25:08That is where it went.
25:11Still in the menu in which I hid it.
25:17Oh, so that is where it went.
25:21If only we had the missing boobie.
25:25Strangely enough, I still have it.
25:30Her flick gave it to me when the invasion began.
25:33I've carried it around for years.
25:36As a memento.
25:40Here it is.
25:43Oh, what a reunion.
25:46This...
25:47This painting is now worth minting.
25:49Let us go back into the cafe and put it together.
25:53I will find us a buyer
25:55through my international auction house.
25:58This will stun the art world.
26:01Even more than my marriage.
26:03Perhaps we could all share a bit of fortune.
26:24Is it really you?
26:27Oh, how wonderful it is to see you again, Miss...
26:30My goodness, Madam Edis...
26:34Is it really you?
26:36What is that?
26:39Bernie is in my car.
26:41Who's with you?
26:44That damned waitress!
26:47Thank you, Yvette.
26:48We will head for Spain,
26:50sell it and start a new life together.
26:53Oh, Bernie, at last!
27:00What is going on here?
27:03They are taking my car.
27:05And they have the painting!
27:08Bernie!
27:09What are you doing with that starving girl?
27:13You stupid woman!
27:17Can you not see?
27:19I am eloping!
27:35I am eloping!
27:36I am eloping!
27:48I am eloping!
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