- 12 hours ago
TV, Movie, Allo Allo S9E04 - The Fishmonger Float
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TVTranscript
00:22The Strain of This Terrible War
00:23The Strain of This Terrible War Is Getting Worse
00:24I Have Been Presumed Dead
00:26Blown Up In A Windmill
00:28Taken Prisoner As A Love Slave
00:30By The Communist Resistance
00:33Shot In The Bum By A Hunter
00:36And While Posing As A Waxwork At The Town Museum
00:38Touched Up By Lieutenant Gruber
00:43The Germans Now Know That I Am Alive
00:45And I Have Explained My Absence
00:47By Telling Them That After The Explosion
00:49At The Windmill
00:49I Temporarily Lost My Memory
00:52I Was Going To Tell You Something Else
00:54But I've Forgotten What It Is
00:55Never Mind I Will Think Of It Later
00:59Oh And Now At Last We Are Alone
01:03Hold Me, Kiss Me
01:06Oh It Seems So Very Long
01:12What The?
01:15Since We Last That Time For Each Other
01:17All Without You
01:19My Life Is So Empty
01:21I Will Do My Very Best To Fill Your Emptiness
01:25Let Us Go Behind The End House At Once
01:27No, No, No, Patience Yvette
01:29The Time Now Is Not Right
01:30But I Will Meet You Tonight
01:32Upstairs In The Broom Cupboard
01:33When The Clock Strikes Twelve
01:35Oh And Now
01:36Until Then
01:37Every Second Will Seem Like A Day
01:40And Every Minute Will Seem Like A Year
01:43At That Rate By Midnight
01:45You Will Be Well Over A Hundred And Two
01:5020
01:52What Are You Doing With That Seven Girl In Your Arms
01:56You Stupid Woman
01:58Can You Not See That
02:00For A Change I Would Like Her To Explain
02:02Me?
02:06Well, I Was Crossing The Room
02:09When I
02:09Oh Yes
02:10I Fell
02:11Of The Leg Of The Chair
02:12And I Would Have Fallen
02:14If René Had Not Caught Me In His Strong Arms
02:17No, No, My Dear Sweet Child
02:18You Must Not Lie For Me
02:21I Did Not Want To Tell You This, Edith
02:22But I Have Had A Minor
02:24Spasm
02:26Not A Spasm
02:27It Has Passed
02:29And Will Not Be Mentioned Again
02:31Suffice To Say That I Must
02:32Make The Most Of My Time
02:34Left To Me Here
02:35Oh, Sit Down, René
02:37Oh
02:39I Am So Sorry
02:41I Always Forget How Frail You Are
02:44And I'm Only Reminded When You Come To Bed
02:52I Forgive You, Edith
02:54But Please, Please Do Not Jump To Conclusions In Future
02:58Now, Yvette
02:59You Go And Lie Down, Dear
03:00Get Over The Shock
03:02Yes, René
03:03Are You Sure You Are Alright, René
03:06Since You Officially Came Back From The Dead
03:09You Had Been In The Haven Rather Strangely
03:10Well, I Have Had A Traumatic Few Days
03:14René
03:14I Think We Are Going To Get Even More Traumatic
03:17Because You Urgent Me
03:20Listen Very Carefully
03:21I Shall Say This Only Once
03:24Acting On Information Received From British Intelligence
03:27My Girls And I Have Managed To Obtain Top Secret German Plans For The Defense Of France
03:33When The Allies Invade
03:34How Did You Manage That?
03:35We Waylaid The Courier From Berlin
03:37And While My Girls Kept Him Busy In An Haystack
03:41I Photographed The Plans In His Briefcase
03:43I Have The Microfilm Here
03:45Oh, A Coup Like This Could Turn The Tide
03:49I Know
03:49Now We Must Send The Microfilm By Carrier Pigeon To England
03:54But First We Must Radio To London
03:56Oh, Canada Wait Till Later
03:57Oh, But What Could Be More Important Than This?
04:00Well, It Is Just That Mama And Monsieur LeClaire
04:03Have Only Just Made It Up After Their Row
04:05I Did Not Want To Disturb Them
04:07They Are Like A Pair Of Lovebirds
04:10Get Out You Two Timing Roots
04:13Lovebirds?
04:14More Like Fighting Cocks
04:17Let Us Get Up There Before They Demolish The Attic
04:24Stop That You Shilly Old Bird
04:26What Is Happening?
04:28Ask Him The Unfaithful Wretch
04:31He Has Cheated On Me Again
04:33I Find This Letter In His Suitcase
04:36Listen
04:37My Lips Burn For Yours
04:41I Cannot Wait For You To Swing Once More From The Chandelier
04:49Dressed Only In Your Top And Socks
04:55I Cannot Read The Signature
04:58What Sort Of Man Are You?
05:00Certainly Not Shy
05:02I Am The Sword That Got The Letter In 1927
05:05It Means It's A Letter
05:08And What Sort Of Woman Would Write Such Things?
05:16Mama
05:17This Is Your Signature
05:21That Is What I've Been Trying To Tell Her
05:23So You Were The One
05:27I Still Have The Topper
05:29And The Socks
05:31Fat Not A Good Set Is We Have No Chandelier
05:35We Cannot Waste Time Like This
05:37Monsieur Leclerc
05:38Go And Get One Of The Oming Pigeons From René's En-House
05:41And Meet Us In The Square
05:42Now We Must Radio To London
05:44Yes
05:45Oops
05:45Ah
05:48The Fleshing Nobs
05:50Shut Up
05:55Hello London
05:56This Is Bluteet Calling
05:58Over
05:58What Is Your Message?
06:01Over
06:01We Have The Plans You Asked For
06:04We Are Sending Them By Oming Pigeon Immediately
06:07Over
06:07Well Done Bluteet
06:09And Here Is A Personal Message Recorded Last Night
06:13By Mr. Churchill For Night Talk Hero Of The Resistance
06:17These Words Could Go Down In History
06:22Well Done Ronald
06:33Good Morning
06:34Good Morning
06:35What Are You Deeing With That Pigeon?
06:39We Are Sending Vital Information To London
06:42That Is A Roski Bossness
06:44I Will Stand Leak Out For You In Case You Are Spitted By The Nitzis
06:50The Pigeon Is Ready
06:52Oh Fly Bravely And Swiftly My Little Pigeon
06:56Why Are You Talking To The Pigeon Edith?
06:59He Cannot Understand You
07:01He Will Sense The Encouragement In My Voice
07:04Are There Any Germans About?
07:07Not A Nitzi In Suit
07:09We Are Ready To Lunch
07:12Then Goodbye Pigeon
07:19There He Goes Straight For England
07:22That Is Not The Way To England
07:24He Seems To Be Suckling
07:26And Coming Back Towards Us
07:33He Does Not Appear To Winter Goo To England
07:37Perhaps You Could Show This Stupid Bird A Map
07:41We Will Try Again
07:49Which Oming Pigeon Did You Get From The N House?
07:52The One That Lives In Nouveau
07:54The One That Lives In Nouveau
07:54You Silly Old Fool
07:56How Are We Going To Get The Defense Plans To London Now?
07:59There Seems To Have Been An Almighty Kick-Up
08:02This Week Is The Annual Fishmongers Parade To The Coast
08:05We Will Enter A Float To Which My Girls Will Attach Propellers And Engines
08:10And If We Succeed
08:12Churchy Will Jump For Joy
08:13No Doubt Causing A Rush Of Trustmakers To Number 10 Downing Street
08:18We Will Try The Pigeon One More Time
08:22Oh No Wonder It Will Not Leave
08:24It Has A Baby
08:26Now You Know Why I Never Wanted Children
08:36Zikano And Lieutenant Gruber Are He General?
08:38Send Them In
08:39Yes General
08:41General We Will See You Now
08:47Hi Hitler
08:47Hi Hitler
08:48Sit Down
08:50I Will Not Beat About The Bush
08:52The War Is Going Very Badly
08:54Certain Generals Are Blaming Hitler
08:56And Plotting To Assassinate Him
08:58It Is Graceful
08:59Who Would Do Such A Thing?
09:01I Would
09:04Ah
09:04Well That Does Put A Different Complexion On The Matter
09:07It Is A Relief To Know That I Can Trust You
09:09Before You Are Going To Help Me In The Assassination
09:11Perhaps I Could Be Excused
09:13I Am A Married Man
09:16If Anything Goes Wrong
09:17You Will Have A Proud Widow
09:18To Whom I Shall Write
09:21And If Anything Happens To You Gruber
09:23I Should Like To Be Buried With Hubert
09:26Which Regiment Is He In?
09:29He Is My Little Tank
09:33Oh Yes Of Course
09:35Now I Intend To Deliver
09:37The Portrait Of The Fallen Madonna
09:39With The Big Boobies
09:40To The FĂ¼hrer
09:41In A Frame Packed With Explosives
09:43When Hitler Examines The Picture
09:46He Will Be Blown To Bits
09:48But We Do Not Have The Painting General
09:51We Will Have A Forgery Made
09:53I Have Been Examining The Local Police Records
09:56And It Seems That The Old Man At The Cafe
09:58Ernest Leclerc
09:59Is A Convicted Forger
10:00I Have Sent For Him
10:02He Will Make A Copy For Us
10:04But General
10:04He Has Nothing To Copy
10:07I Have Here A Photograph
10:09Of You Holding The Painting Gruber
10:11As A Further Help
10:13I Have Arranged With Private Helge Gerhardt
10:15To Pose As The Fallen Madonna For Us
10:17It Is An Ingenious Plan
10:19But How Can You Ensure It Is The FĂ¼hrer
10:22Who Is Blown Up
10:23Someone Will Have To Be Present
10:24To Detonate The Frame
10:25When Hitler Receives It
10:26Will They Not Be Killed Too
10:28They Is At Risk
10:30But Whoever Succeeds
10:31Will Have Almost Every Man
10:33In The German Army Behind Him
10:39Quite A Prospect
10:46And This Is The Float We Used
10:48The Last Time Nuvion
10:50Won The Annual Fishmonger's Parade To The Cost
10:54Incredible How After All This Time
10:57The Pong Of Success Still Lingers
11:00I Had To Dress As A Lumpfish
11:02I Remember It Well
11:03I Was Only Sixteen
11:05And To Think
11:06I Waved This Parade Float Farewell
11:09Never Knowing That My Wife To Be
11:11Was The Small Lumpy Fish In The Back
11:14I Do Not Know If I Can Still Get Into The Costume
11:17Oh Do Not Worry
11:18There Is Plenty To Choose From
11:20They Are Here
11:21In This Box
11:23René
11:23You Can Be Neptune On His Throne
11:25And Someone Will Have To Be Venus
11:28Unadorned Arising From The Sea
11:30In This Giant Clam
11:32There Is Only One Woman In Nuvion
11:34Who Has The Right Qualities
11:36To Act
11:38The Part Of Venus
11:39Oh I Am Sorry But Unadorned I Would Have Nowhere To Hide A Gun
11:45I Meant Madame Edith
11:47Oh Thank You Monsieur Alphonse
11:49I Accept
11:50Of Course
11:51I Shall Have A Piece Of Cheesecloth Modestly Draped
11:57But Edith
11:58But Edith
11:59Venus Was The Goddess Of Beauty
12:02I Know
12:03And When I Arise
12:05Almost Unadorned
12:06From The Clam Shell
12:08It Will Take The Spectator's Breath Away
12:12The Mere Thought Makes My Chicka Go All Dicky
12:16Madame Edith
12:17Would You Like To Try The Shell For Size Now
12:19Of Course
12:20Excuse Me
12:24Monsieur Would You Give Me A Hand
12:25Oh Right
12:26The Spring Mechanism
12:27Seems To Have Lusted
12:32Lie Down Inside Madame Edith
12:34Let Us See If You Fit It
12:38It Is Just Like The Ones We Serve
12:41Only Bigger
12:45Oh No
12:48I Go And Get A Tire Leavers
12:52Hang On Venus
13:02The Forgery Is Going Nicely
13:04I Must Say Helga
13:05You Are Very Convincing As The Foreign Marauder
13:08Have You Done It Before
13:09No General
13:10But I Did Once Play The Virgin Mary
13:12In A School Nativity Play
13:14Somehow I Don't Think That It Would Have Been Quite So Convincing
13:18Touch More Pink There Monsieur Leclerc
13:22The Face And Dress Are Very Realistic
13:25But What's That Big Blank Space In The Middle
13:28I Don't Wish To Discomfort Private Gerhardt Any More Than Is Necessary
13:32She Will Uncover For A Short Time Only For The Painting Of The Boobies
13:37Thank You General
13:38It Is Rather Embarrassing With You All Watching
13:41Do Not Worry Helga
13:42We Are Not The Slightest Bit Interested In The Painting Of Privates
13:47I Am Ready Now To Do The Boobies
13:51Very Well
14:00You May Uncover Yourself Briefly
14:02Perhaps You Would All Turn Away For A Moment
14:08All Except The Forger
14:19Let Us Know If You Need Another Look
14:21I Think One Was Enough
14:28This Is The Missing Left Boobie From The Painting Of The Fallen Madonna
14:32We Must Cash It In To Escape To South America
14:36We Will Not Go Far On One Boobie
14:38Herr Flick
14:39The Two Waitresses From The Café
14:42Try Their Trade As Ladies Of The Night
14:44Underneath The Landpost In The Square
14:46We Will Kidnap Them And Steal Their Clothes
14:49Then Using One Of The Keys
14:52We Will Gain Entry To The Café
14:55And Search It
14:56A Brilliant Plan Herr Flick
14:58A Long One
14:59But Brilliant
15:00We Will Try On Some Suitable Wigs
15:07I Will Be The Tall Brunette
15:09With The Good Legs
15:12You Can Be The Short One
15:13With The Big Bum
15:18Do I Look Like A Tart
15:21No
15:22More The Result Of A Mating Between A Yeti And A Chihuahua
15:28Now This Is The Mark Van Prototype Of The Frame
15:31That Will Be Around The Portrait Of The Full Madonna
15:34When We Deliver It To The Fuhrer
15:35Looks Very Authentic General
15:37Our Scientists Are At This Very Moment
15:40Working On A Foolproof Way Of Detonating The Frame
15:43Naturally
15:44They Know Nothing Of Our Intentions
15:46But For The Purposes Of This Test
15:48I Will Use A Simple Radio Beam
15:50To Blow The Explosives
15:52Are You Sure It Is Safe To Do This Here General
15:56We Do Not Want To Blow Up The Whole Chateau
15:58Oh Relax Relax
16:00The Scientists Assure Me
16:02That The Explosion Will Be Localized
16:04The Dummy Of Hitler Will Be Blown To Pieces
16:06But Everything Else In The Room Will Be Left Untouched
16:10Stand By
16:13Goodbye
16:14Goodbye Adolf
16:26Hello There
16:27My
16:29Aren't You A Cute One
16:31How Kind
16:32I Have No Money But I Am Young And Good Looking
16:37I Too Have No Money And I Am Young And Better Looking
16:40So Buzz Off
16:44Oh The Nerve Of Some People
16:47Oh The Nerve Of Some People
16:47Anyone Would Think We Look Cheap
16:56Good Evening Tarts
16:58Tarts
16:59Oh Perfect
17:00This Is A Surprise
17:05How Would You Like A Good Time
17:07With A Couple Of Debonair Curb Crawlers About Town
17:11Certainly
17:12Really Where Are They
17:15I Was Referring To Von Smallhausen And Myself
17:18Have You Money
17:20Pots Of It
17:23Get Into The Car
17:24I Will Go Into Back Of The Car
17:26So I've Heard
17:29You Can Have Von Smallhausen
17:31He Is More Your Size
17:33He Is More Your Size
17:35Awful
17:36Oh My
17:37Please
17:37Not The Lone
17:38Oh
17:44Oh
17:45Oh
17:49Oh
17:53Oh
17:54Oh
17:55Oh
17:55Oh
17:55Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
17:56Oh
18:25Oh
18:28Oh
18:28Come Inside
18:29My Dears
18:30We Have A Little Surprise
18:32For You
18:38In Our Line Of Business
18:40Most Surprises A Little
18:44Any More Peter Lorry Impersonations
18:47And You Will Find Yourself Working
18:49In The Gestapo Het Factory
19:02Take Off Your Clothes
19:04Take Off Your Clothes
19:04What
19:05Here
19:05Of Course
19:07Is There No Way More Private Like
19:09A Tool Cabinet
19:10This Will Do
19:11Begins Undressing
19:12First You Must Produce The Necessary
19:15What?
19:17Some Money
19:18Von Smallhausen
19:29I've Never Done It In A Garage Before
19:31No
19:32We Could Get Very Dirty In Here
19:44What Kept You So Long René
19:46I Have Got Through Ten Chapters Of War And Peace
19:48Waiting For You To Come To Bed
19:51I Was Just Making Myself A Little Snack
19:53Garlic Sausage And Pickled Cucumbers
19:57It Seems Such Ages Since We Had Any Time Together
20:02I Am A Passionate Woman René
20:04I Have Appetites That Need To Be Satisfied
20:07Here Have A Pickled Cucumber
20:11Sometimes You Seems So Distant
20:15Take Me In Your Arms René
20:17Kiss Me
20:18Cuddle Me
20:20I Have Just Finished My Garlic Sausage
20:23Come On
20:27Now
20:31What Is The Matter Edie?
20:33Nothing
20:34I Just Seemed To Have Gone Off The Boil
20:39And I Had Just Got Up Steam
20:42Oh Well
20:43Perhaps Another Night
20:52Are You All Right?
20:54Quickly
20:54Untie My Hands
20:55We Must Get Back To The Café
20:57They Even Stole Our Handbags
20:59We Have Been Played For Suckers
21:01When Airflick Said He Wanted To Tie Us Up In Our Underwear
21:05I Did Not Think He Had This In Mind
21:35I Am Small Housen
21:36The Door Is Locked, Herr Flick
21:37Check Your Handbag
21:39Those Girls Must Have A Key Somewhere
21:44Hurry
21:44These Heels Are Killing Me
21:47You Have The Key, Herr Flick
21:48And I Have The Torch From The Car
21:52Let Us Go Inside
21:53And Begin Our Search For The Painting
22:04Lock The Door On Small Housen
22:06Yes, Herr Flick
22:10And Produce Your Torch
22:12Yes, Herr Flick
22:16We Will Look Upstairs First
22:21If You Have Any Problems
22:23Flash Me
22:26With Your Torch
22:27Thunderhead
22:39I Will Take The Front
22:41You Search The Back
23:06Somebody Is Coming
23:06We Must Hide
23:08Quick
23:17Now Where Is He
23:20Oh No
23:21Not Another Spasm
23:24I Must See If He Is All Right
23:29Now For Yvette
23:36I Am Here, My Darling
23:46Ow
23:52You Featless Swain
23:54What Are You Doing In That Broom Cupboard With That Tart
23:58You Stupid Woman
24:00You Stupid Woman
24:01Can You Not See That This Is Herr Flick Of The Gestapo
24:05Oh, I Am Sorry Herr Flick
24:09But I Did Not Recognize You In A Skirt And Fishnet Stockings
24:13Well You Should Have
24:15So Should You
24:16So Should You
24:17What Were You Doing In The Broom Cupboard With Him
24:20Really, Edith
24:21Is That Not Obvious
24:22No
24:23Well
24:24Well, It Is Like This You See
24:27Yes
24:28Well, I Was
24:29I Was In Bed
24:30Trying To Get Off To Sleep
24:31Next To You, My Darling
24:32When I Heard A Noise On The Landing
24:34Thinking That It Might Be Burgle
24:36As I Came Out To Apprehend Them
24:37And Happened To Find Herr Flick
24:39In The Broom Cupboard
24:40Disguised As A Tart
24:42Do You Expect Me To Believe That Explanation?
24:45Any Other Explanation Would Be Unthinkable
24:48Silence
24:49Peasants
24:50Von Smallhausen
24:52Yes, Herr Flick
24:54You May Come Out Now
24:57Herr Flick, May I Ask What Is Going On?
24:59No
25:00May I Ask
25:01Shut Up, Von Smallhausen
25:04You Will Find The Portrait Of The Fallen Madonna
25:06With The Big Boobies For Me
25:07Or You Will Be Shot
25:09Do You Understand?
25:11Yes, Herr Flick
25:12Otherwise I Shall Be In Every Cupboard You Open
25:14Until I Find It Myself
25:17Come, Von Smallhausen
25:21It Is Lurked
25:22How Are We Going To Get Inside?
25:26Look
25:27The Window To Raleigh And Madam Me
25:29This Room Is Open
25:30I Will Climb In And Come Down And Open The Door
25:32Give Me A Leg Up
25:41Oh, René
25:43I Think I Will Go And Get A Glass Of Water
25:45Before We Go Back To Bed
25:46Yes, Do That Dearest
25:48I Still Feel Very Shaky
25:49It Was A Shock To Find You In That Room
25:51Covered With Air Flick
25:52It Came As Something Of A Surprise To Me
25:54It Came As Something Of A Surprise To Me
26:01Yvette
26:02My God, What Are You Doing Here?
26:05Why Are You Dressed As A Car Mechanic?
26:07Oh, René
26:08I've Had A Terrible Night
26:09Oh
26:10Hold Me
26:10Are You Mad?
26:12Edith Will Be Back Here Any Moment
26:14What Is There Now?
26:15Quick, You Must Hide
26:16Here, Quick
26:17Get In The Wardrobe
26:21I'm So Sorry I Missed Our Rendezvous In The Brum Cabal
26:24Yes, So Am I
26:25No, No, Please
26:29Just Get Inside, Please
26:30For God's sake
26:33Oh, My God
26:34Hapstick Edith Will Kill Me
26:36René
26:37Oh, No
26:42René
26:44Now Where Has He Got
26:46I See It All Now
26:49He Has Sneaked Out For An Illicit Relationship With Someone
26:52Oh, The Villain
26:55I Will Catch Him This Time
26:57I Will Get To Rest
26:59And Follow Him
27:02Ah, René
27:04What Are You Doing In The Wardrobe With That Saving Girl
27:07With Lipstick All Over Your Face
27:09And Why Is She Dressed As A Car Mechanic
27:13You Stupid Woman
27:16That Is The Second Time Tonight You Have Done This
27:18And What Explanation Have You Got?
27:20I Am Not Made Of Explanations
27:23In A Marriage There Must Be Some Trust
27:29He Is Right
27:31I Am Over Reacting
27:33I Must Be Calm And Think Things Out
27:39I Have Thought Things Out
27:52Oh, No
27:53Oh, No
27:53Ah
27:54Urgh
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