00:00Baby, we made our dreams come true
00:04Come and baby, we'll do the same for you
00:08When you rule, it's kinda weird
00:12And you wish that you weren't there
00:14Just close your eyes and speak to me
00:17And you can be as you win
00:21Baby, baby, baby
00:39Hey, I caught a fish, I caught a fish
00:42I'm gonna eat it for dinner
00:43That's a shoe, Fozzie
00:46You can't eat that
00:47Sure I can
00:48Haven't you ever heard of Filet of Soul?
00:51Waka waka waka
00:53Fozzie
00:54Sorry
00:55There aren't any fish here, Kermit
00:57Let's move to another spot
00:59Oh, sure thing, Ralph
01:01I'll start the motor
01:04That spot over there looks good
01:09Gee, the carpet looks much deeper here
01:13Hey, Skeeter, I got one
01:17Wow, I bet it's the biggest fish in the lake
01:21I don't think so, Skeeter
01:28Yuck, why would a fish want to eat one of these?
01:32Are you kidding, Piggy?
01:33These are great
01:36Boom, got to eat a worm
01:38No, I didn't
01:40These are cheese twists
01:42No, they're not
01:43These are the cheese twists
01:49It's a good thing this is my imagination
01:51Or I'd be a warm, sick weirdo
01:54This is my latest and greatest invention, Beaker
01:57A radar-controlled fish locator
02:00All you have to do is turn it on
02:02And it automatically finds the fish
02:07Sure, go ahead and try it out
02:21Shark, shark
02:26Oh, no
02:27It's worse than a shark
02:29It's, it's
02:31Animal, Josh
02:42Hey, guys, look what time it is
02:45It's time for our favorite cartoon show
02:48Funny Freddy
02:49Yippie, skippie
02:51It's Funny Freddy time
02:53Quick, Funny Freddy
02:55I'm going to be funny someday
02:57Just like Funny Freddy
02:59Oh, that Funny Freddy
03:01He's too much
03:02He's pretending his TV show is messed up
03:07Oh, Bobby
03:08I think our TV really is messed up
03:11It is?
03:12Oh, no
03:13I can't live with that Funny Freddy
03:15He's my idol
03:17Maybe it's the antenna
03:18See if you can fix the picture, Beaker
03:32I'll get Nanny
03:33She can fix it
03:35Hurry up, Skeeter
03:36Or we'll miss the show
03:38Nanny will know what to do
03:40What's wrong with the TV, kids?
03:43The picture's all funny, Nanny
03:44Can you fix it?
03:46Oh, no
03:47I think it's really broken, kids
03:50Oh
03:52I'll call the repairman
03:54He'll come out and fix it
03:56This is horrible
03:58Yeah, we've never missed Funny Freddy before
04:01I know
04:02I could pretend I'm Funny Freddy
04:04And you could watch the Funny Fozzie show
04:06Instead of the Funny Freddy show
04:08And I'd be just as funny as Freddy
04:11You're right
04:12Nobody's as funny as Freddy
04:14Hey, wait a minute, guys
04:15Fozzie may have something there
04:17I do?
04:18You mean you want me to pretend I'm Funny Freddy
04:21So you can watch the funny...
04:22Not exactly, Fozzie
04:24I was thinking we could pretend to make our own TV shows
04:28That's a great idea, Kermit
04:30We can use our cardboard box as a TV
04:32Great idea
04:34Yeah
04:34Let's stir it
04:37Um, but how will we make a screen?
04:41I know
04:45There, how's that?
04:47Perfect, Skeeter
04:48Hey, these paper cuts will make great control knobs
04:52And this will make a cinema antenna
04:54Come on, let's try it out
04:57Gosh, I thought this was a black and white cardboard TV
05:04Hi, friends
05:05Chef Rolf here for Doggy Time Dog Food
05:09If you're a dog, and I know I am
05:12You'll love Doggy Time
05:15Yes, sir
05:16It's a real meal in a can
05:19I don't like commercials
05:21Change the channel, Kermit
05:23Gee, how do you change the channel on this TV, Piggy?
05:27Simple
05:28You pick it up and...
05:31Hi-ya!
05:33Hi-ya!
05:37You're on, Kermit
05:38What?
05:39Me?
05:40Gee, I don't know what kind of program to do
05:42Hold it!
05:44There's something wrong with the color
05:45It's all green!
05:47There's nothing wrong with the color, Gonzo
05:49I am green
05:50Oh, that would explain it
05:53Oh, boy
05:54Me first, me first
05:56Animal, no!
05:58Good color!
06:00Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
06:01Animal!
06:03Sorry!
06:04Phew!
06:06Go on, Kermit
06:07Show us a TV program
06:08Um, I know. I got one. Good morning.
06:14This is Kermit Hopper with the early news.
06:17Our big story today, Fuzzy Bear left the water running in the sink again, washing away half the city of
06:24Cleveland.
06:25However, Fuzzy was nice enough to loan the city his rubber ducky to help in the evacuation efforts.
06:31On the dryer side, in San Francisco, famous inventor Bunsen Honeydew built the world's first skyscraper made of flour and
06:39water.
06:41Oh, I guess he didn't use enough water.
06:44And now for the sports report.
06:47Wait a minute. Here's an important bulletin.
06:51We now take you live to our pig on the street reporter, Piggy.
06:56Hello, Kermit. I'm here on the street with Fuzzy Bear.
06:59Rumor has it that Fuzzy just told his first funny joke.
07:04Well, Fuzzy, there are millions of viewers out there anxiously waiting to hear you finally say something funny.
07:12No problem. I just know your audience is going to love this joke.
07:16What do you get when you saw down an apple tree?
07:20Give up? You get applesauce. Get it?
07:25Well, sure you have it.
07:28Just another one of those wild rumors.
07:30Now, back to you, Kermit.
07:32Thanks, Piggy.
07:33And now it's time for Scooter's computer weather report.
07:38Whoa!
07:43You're on, Scooter.
07:44I am?
07:45Oh, uh, here are the current temperatures.
07:49Let's see.
07:50Uh, 42, 71, and 19 below.
07:54This is boring.
07:56Get to the good part, Scooter.
07:58If there is a good part.
08:00Oh, sure there is.
08:02The real weather.
08:03Let's see.
08:04Uh, we have some rain in the northwest.
08:10And, uh, and six inches of snow in Wyoming.
08:16And in Florida.
08:18Oh, no.
08:19What is it, Scooter?
08:21Look!
08:21Towers!
08:22A hurricane!
08:24Help!
08:25Whoa!
08:26Hey, no!
08:28Hurricane!
08:30Stop it!
08:32Bad animal!
08:32No!
08:34That was it!
08:36Yay!
08:38Come on, Beaker.
08:39It's time for another commercial.
08:42Hello there, potential consumers.
08:44I am Bunsen Honeydew, child genius.
08:47For the first time on nursery-wide television,
08:50I'm offering you my latest invention.
08:53Come on, Beaker.
08:54It's all right.
08:55Friends, these are my new foolproof anti-nightmare pajamas.
09:01No matter what kind of bad dreams you ever have,
09:05these pajamas will protect you.
09:09You say you have nightmares about falling out of bed?
09:14No sweat.
09:15Just pull our patented pajama ripcord.
09:23Or perhaps your problem is scary ghost dreams.
09:33No problem.
09:35Just blast him with the ghost-busting backpack.
09:44That's right, friends.
09:45For only 25 cents,
09:48you can have your very own anti-nightmare PJs.
09:51With my personal satisfaction guarantee
09:53that you'll sleep like a rock.
09:56Hey, come on, Beaker.
09:57The commercial's over.
10:00Now, what show do you want to watch next?
10:03How about I Love Piggy?
10:05Look, I'd rather watch Laverne and Skeeter.
10:08No way!
10:11I know the perfect show, Weirdo Trek.
10:15Oh, brother.
10:17Welcome to outer space, the final frontier,
10:21where we join the voyage of a starship's second prize
10:24on her mission to explore alien worlds
10:27and go where no weirdo has gone before.
10:32When will we reach Starbase 1, Mr. Weirdo?
10:36Logically speaking, Captain Kirkman,
10:39we'll arrive in approximately 2 hours and 29.19826.
10:47Close enough, Mr. Weirdo.
10:51What's wrong, Dr. Dogbones?
10:54There's something screwy with your Vulcan brain, Mr. Weirdo.
10:57Maybe your batteries are low.
10:59I'll raise them.
11:00Yoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
11:03Oh, thank you, Doctor.
11:06That was exhilarating.
11:08Quick, Captain Kirkman,
11:10there's something on the screen.
11:13Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!
11:15Not that screen.
11:16That screen.
11:18Oh, no, it's a static Klingon spaceship.
11:22Red alert! Red alert!
11:24Remember, Troopers,
11:26I don't care what happens to Mr. Weirdo,
11:29But we must take Handsome Captain Kirkman prisoner.
11:35Fire! Photon Tomatoes!
11:39Photon Tomatoes away!
11:43Oh, my! We've been hit, Captain Kirkman.
11:47Yes, Photon Tomatoes.
11:50Oh, no. Next we'll be blasted with Radium Relish.
11:54What are our chances of defeating the Static Klingon vessel, Mr. Weirdo?
11:58I'd say approximately one chance in 29,014,930,221.3748219674.
12:11By the time he's done with that number, the show will be over.
12:15That's close enough.
12:21Fire! Photon Tomatoes!
12:27Logically speaking, Captain, we're not gonna make it unless Luke and Han Solo get here real soon.
12:34Gonzo, Luke and Han Solo aren't in this show.
12:38They aren't? What about Indiana Jones?
12:41No.
12:42Larry, Moe, and Curly?
12:43Uh-oh. Gee.
12:45Ha-ha! Their defensive screens are down!
12:48A few more Photon Tomatoes, and Captain Kirkman will be mine.
12:56Scootie, get us out of here! Accelerate to warp vector nine!
13:01I'm doing the best I can, Captain.
13:04What's wrong?
13:06Ha-ha! I think Scootie put too much warp in the warp vector!
13:11There! The warp is off!
13:13Our only chance is to board the static Klingon missile and trick them into surrendering, Captain.
13:20Uh, right!
13:21To the transporter room!
13:24Beam us away, Scootie!
13:26And be sure you dial the right number this time!
13:30I'm sorry. You have reached a disconnected number.
13:36I know he dialed the wrong number.
13:38Better dial again, Scootie, and this time check the directory.
13:42Okay.
13:45That's better.
13:47Set your phaser to tickle, Mr. Weirdo, and he'll tickle those static Klingons into surrendering.
13:54One more Photon Tomatoes, and the second prize will be mine!
13:58Fire!
14:00Don't touch that button, or we'll tickle blast you.
14:04And the chances of anyone resisting a tickle blast are precisely 337 points.
14:10I need three. That's all. Three.
14:14Oh my! You're even better looking than I imagined!
14:19It's these ears! Nobody can resist them!
14:23What?
14:23Me?
14:24What?
14:25Oh my goodness!
14:26Oh my goodness! Some people prefer my nose!
14:30Oh, Captain Kirkman, what do you say we go on a little Star Trek together?
14:36Hmm...
14:38Say! Anybody want to hear a good space joke?
14:41Not now, Buzzy!
14:43Okay, then I think it's time for another commercial.
14:46Commercial! Commercial!
14:49You can't do a commercial, Animal!
14:52Yeah! You can hardly talk!
14:55Me talk! Me talk!
14:56What could you sell that we'd want to buy anyway?
15:00Ah! Dirt!
15:03What?
15:04Dirt fun!
15:06Good on face!
15:09Better on clothes!
15:13Huh?
15:14We forget!
15:16Water!
15:17Dirt!
15:18Make water!
15:21Sticky!
15:23Scory!
15:24Hey! That stuff sounds pretty neat!
15:28How much does it cost?
15:29It's free!
15:32Hey! I didn't ask for any!
15:35Oh! My dress!
15:37My hug!
15:47Come on down, Animal!
15:49Nanny will be mad if she sees this mess!
15:52Dirt bomb!
15:55Boom!
15:56Geez!
15:56I think we ought to find another sponsor.
15:59What do you think?
16:00What should we watch now, guys?
16:02How about a comedy police show?
16:05I could tell jokes and arrest the audience for laughing without a license!
16:10Forget it, Fuzzy!
16:11No one would ever laugh at your jokes!
16:14Hey, guys!
16:15I want my Muppet TV!
16:17Huh?
16:18I want my Muppet TV!
16:21Oh! I get it!
16:23Rove wants to do a music video!
16:26That's a terrific idea!
16:28Let's get our instruments!
16:30Good idea, Kermit!
16:36Ready?
16:37One, two, one, two, three, four!
16:46Every single morning at the crack of dawn
16:48They'll wake up and they have to turn the TV on
16:51Channel 2, Channel 4, Channel 8 on, Channel!
16:55The tune and everything will show a give-on-the-air!
16:58What makes them different from you and me?
17:01They never seem to get enough of watching TV!
17:05TV maniacs!
17:06They're TV maniacs!
17:10They're TV maniacs!
17:13They're TV maniacs!
17:17They're TV maniacs!
17:17They're TV maniacs!
17:18They're TV maniacs!
17:22Every time the weather's fine we go out and play
17:24While they sit watching re-runs on the screen all day
17:27Their eyes look kind of funny and they're turning square
17:30Sometimes you see an engine it's growing in their hair
17:33Science is a dragon but they can't understand
17:36How someone's got remote control attached to his hands!
17:40TV maniacs!
17:42They're TV maniacs!
17:45They're TV maniacs!
17:49They're TV maniacs!
17:58They're TV maniacs!
18:00They're TV maniacs!
18:03They're TV maniacs!
18:06They're TV maniacs!
18:07Then you never know when the day of TV is left
18:09They're TV maniacs!
18:12TV maniacs!
18:16TV maniacs!
18:18TV maniacs!
18:29That's what I call rock and roll.
18:32Come on, let's think of another program to make.
18:35How about Lead Up to this side?
18:38For the wide world of weirdo.
18:40Those aren't real shows.
18:42Mom is going to be on a real TV show.
18:45What show is that, Piggy?
18:47The Johnny Carson Show.
18:49Huh?
18:52Be sure it's right.
18:53You can't be on the Johnny Carson Show.
18:56It comes on after your bedtime.
18:58Not today it doesn't.
19:01Piggy on the Johnny Carson Show.
19:04That's the funniest thing I ever heard.
19:07Oh, is that so?
19:12Here's Johnny.
19:18Hey, I never knew he played in cardboard boxes before.
19:23Would you welcome Miss Piggy.
19:27Oh, thank you, thank you.
19:29It's so good to be on your show, Johnny.
19:32I don't believe this.
19:34Yeah, she did it.
19:36Do you have any boyfriends?
19:38Well, um, sort of.
19:41Isn't that right, Kirby?
19:42What?
19:44Shh.
19:44You don't have to tell the world about it, Piggy.
19:47You want to do something for us?
19:49Moi?
19:49Oh, well, actually, I thought you'd never ask.
19:53I'd love to.
20:00Captain!
20:00One, two, one, two, one, two, three.
20:03Um, I'd like to dedicate this poem to, um, my coo.
20:09Oh, boy.
20:09Um, Piggy has a little frog.
20:13His skin is green and fine.
20:16And everywhere that Piggy goes, you'll find him just behind.
20:20He'll follow me down the aisle one day.
20:23And married we will be.
20:25So if you're thinking of chickening out,
20:28you're in big trouble, Kermit!
20:36Hey!
20:36If I could get onto the Johnny Carson show,
20:39I could become a famous comedian.
20:41Forget it, Fozzie.
20:43Johnny only lets funny comedians tell jokes.
20:46Yeah, he'll never let you on his show.
20:49Oh, yeah?
20:50Then I'll just have to sneak on.
20:52And next, I'd like to sing.
20:55Um, did I say something funny?
20:59Ah!
21:03Get off that stage, you...
21:06You...
21:06Fozzie!
21:13Hey!
21:14They're laughing at me.
21:15I bet they'd like to hear one of my funny jokes.
21:18Fozzie, don't you dare!
21:20You're embellished, Mr. Carson.
21:22But this is my big chance, Piggy.
21:25Fozzie!
21:34Hi, there.
21:35My name is Fozzie Bear.
21:37I mean Fozzie Bear.
21:39And I'll tell you a joke
21:41if you promise not to throw tomatoes at me.
21:44Okay?
21:46Wow!
21:47I don't believe it!
21:49Johnny Carson is laughing at me!
21:51Hey, guys!
21:52Johnny Carson laughed at me!
21:54I'm funny!
21:55I really am!
21:56Gee!
21:57Mr. Carson did laugh at Fozzie.
22:00Yeah!
22:01Maybe he'd let me play piano on his show!
22:03I could do scientific experiments!
22:07I could be a stand-up weirdo!
22:09Yoo-hoo!
22:10Johnny!
22:11Mr. Carson!
22:13Hello!
22:14Hi, kids!
22:15The TV's fixed!
22:17You can watch all your favorite programs now!
22:20Uh, gee, thanks, Nanny!
22:22Thanks, Nanny!
22:22Come on, guys!
22:23Let's do another show!
22:25Turn the box back on!
22:25We'll put another one!
22:26Quickly!
22:27What on earth are you doing?
22:29We're making our own TV shows, Nanny!
22:32Yeah!
22:33We like our programs better than the real ones!
22:36What's on next?
22:37Let's watch Happy Dogs!
22:39Or what about Candid Computer?
22:41Wait!
22:42I've got it!
22:43You are entering another dimension!
22:46A dimension of sight and sound!
22:50A dimension of blue-nosed baboons!
22:53You are entering the Weirdo Zone!
22:56Whoa!
22:58Epoch, I could score him!
23:01Yeah!
23:04Theuan bing THAT is my name!
23:12Ooh!
23:18The mutant์์, Oh!
23:24You have to go!
23:56Oh, bye-bye.
23:58No, don't.
23:59Bye-bye.
24:01Bye-bye.
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