00:00Our dreams come to us, our dreams ready to do the same for you.
00:08When your room looks kinda weird, and you wish that you weren't there.
00:13Just close your eyes and fix your knees, and you can be anyway.
00:19It's a great day for you.
00:34Hey, I can't find my desktop!
00:37Peter, do you have my desktop?
00:39Which one's my desk?
00:41Okay, everybody, sit down.
00:43Alright, class. School is about to begin.
00:47Here you are, Piggy. An apple for the teacher.
00:51Why, thank you, Fuzzy.
00:55Yuck! A worm!
00:58Fooled you with the old rubber worm in the apple joke.
01:01That's not funny, Fuzzy. Now go to your seat.
01:05Oh, quit joking around, Fuzzy. It's important to get an education.
01:10You're right, Kermit. There's a time for jokes and a time for being serious.
01:14Hey, Skeeter, what's that?
01:17Why? A spider!
01:20Where? Where?
01:23It's only my fake spider. Pretty funny joke, huh?
01:27No, it's not funny.
01:29I thought you were gonna be serious, Fuzzy.
01:31Sorry, Kermit. I must have gotten up on the funny side of the bed this morning.
01:36Okay, quiet down, class. The first thing we are going to do is call the roll.
01:41While you're at it, call me a dinner roll. I'm hungry. Wata, wata, wata.
01:48Fuzzy.
01:49That's enough, Fuzzy. In my class, you will raise your hand if you want to speak.
01:55Our first subject today will be Italian history. Does anyone know who discovered spaghetti?
02:02I do. I do.
02:03Okay, Gunjo. Go ahead.
02:05It was the famous explorer, Marco Weirdo.
02:10Who?
02:11Okay, he was sailing around the world looking for sugar and spice and everything nice.
02:18When suddenly...
02:20The submarine attacked.
02:23The submarine sandwich, that is.
02:29So, Marco Weirdo did the only thing he could.
02:33He stuffed his cans with pizza dough.
02:40The spaghetti was born.
02:43That's incredible.
02:45Are you kidding?
02:47You should see how I discovered meatballs.
02:50Um...
02:51Thank you, Gunjo. You may sit down.
03:02The old whoopee cushion always gets a laugh.
03:08Gosh. Maybe it's broken.
03:12That won't be the only thing that's broken, Fuzzy, if you don't stop goofing off.
03:16You're never gonna learn anything.
03:19But I'm going to be a comedian.
03:21And I already know how to be funny.
03:23Waka waka waka.
03:24Sit down!
03:26It's time for our arithmetic lesson.
03:29Scooter, if you had ten hot dogs and Skeeter took three of them, what would you have?
03:33He'd have a tummy ache.
03:35Get it?
03:36Waka waka waka.
03:40Sheesh.
03:41All right, Mr. Jokester. Let's see if this makes you laugh.
03:47What's that?
03:48It's a dunce cap, you dunce.
03:51If you have to tell jokes, then tell them to the wall.
03:56Okay.
03:57Hey wall, why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog?
04:00Because it was a chilly dog.
04:03Waka waka waka.
04:05Report card time!
04:08Oh boy!
04:11Let's see, let's see.
04:14Wow, I got an A in music.
04:17And I got an A in...cute?
04:21Me got an A for animal.
04:26Ha! I got better than an A. I got a W for being weird.
04:30Hey guys, look at this.
04:33I got an F for funny.
04:35Gee Fuzzy, that's not an F for funny.
04:38That's an F for not being funny.
04:41Gosh, I thought my jokes would get an A.
04:45Hi kids.
04:46How's your first day at school going?
04:48I got an A in arithmetic, nanny.
04:51And I got an A in gymnastics.
04:53Well, congratulations.
04:58What's the matter, Fuzzy?
05:00Who wrote this report card?
05:04Piggy did, nanny.
05:06Giving Fuzzy an F wasn't very nice, Piggy.
05:08I think you should apologize.
05:11I'm sorry I gave you an F, Fuzzy.
05:14And I'm even more sorry that your jokes aren't funny.
05:18Piggy!
05:19They are so.
05:20They are not!
05:22Why don't you tell nanny a joke and let her decide?
05:25Great idea, Kermit.
05:27Here's a funny one, nanny.
05:28What's the difference between an orange?
05:31Go ahead, Fuzzy.
05:32Finish the joke.
05:34It is finished.
05:35That's the joke.
05:37See, nanny?
05:41Why, that was very different, Fuzzy.
05:44That's okay, nanny.
05:45You don't have to laugh.
05:47I guess Piggy was right.
05:49I'm not funny.
05:50Don't give up, Fuzzy.
05:52With a little more practice, I'm sure you could be a very funny comedian.
05:58Yeah, sure, nanny.
06:00Fuzzy looks awful sad.
06:03Yeah.
06:04We can't let him think he's a failure.
06:06We gotta help him out.
06:08But how?
06:09We could give him funny lessons.
06:11Oh, that's a great idea, Gunzo.
06:14Come on, Fuzzy.
06:16We're gonna turn you into the funniest bear in town.
06:19You are?
06:20Sit down, Fuzzy.
06:21And Kermit will show you how to be funny.
06:24Me?
06:25Uh-huh.
06:28Ladies and gentlemen,
06:31now appearing live in the world-renowned nursery room,
06:35the one and only Kermit Danger Frog.
06:42Now, remember, Fuzzy,
06:44the secret to funny jokes is twisting around the meaning of the words.
06:48Um, I knew a guy who was gonna start a bakery,
06:50only he couldn't raise the dough.
06:54Thank you, thank you, please, please.
06:56Fuzzy.
06:56What do you get when you cross a frog with an elephant?
07:00You get a flat frog!
07:04Thank you!
07:05Thank you!
07:05Thank you!
07:05Thank you very much!
07:06Thank you!
07:07You see, Fuzzy, it's simple.
07:08And now, the nursery room is proud to introduce a foot and a half of fuzz-covered fun,
07:16Fuzzy Bear!
07:17Yay!
07:18You think I'm ready?
07:20Sure!
07:21Go on!
07:23Remember, Fuzzy, it's all in the words.
07:26Don't worry!
07:27I got it now!
07:30What do you get when you put chocolate pudding in your mother's shoes?
07:34Give up?
07:35You get a spanking!
07:37Waka waka waka!
07:39Yay!
07:41Hey!
07:42Ow!
07:43I thought it was funny!
07:47Sorry, Fuzzy.
07:48I guess I let you down.
07:50It wasn't your fault, Kermit.
07:52My joke just wasn't funny.
07:55That's because the true secret to comedy is craziness!
08:00Then you must be the funniest weirdo in the world, Gonzo!
08:04Be nice to me, Piggy, or I'll tell everybody where you hide your chocolate bonbons!
08:11Okay, okay!
08:13Now, as I was saying, the secret to being funny is being weird.
08:19You know, like Steve Martin.
08:21See the people in the audience with the amateur model arrow through the head?
08:28Sorry.
08:29Come on, Fuzzy.
08:30After I give you some weird lessons, you'll have the audience rolling in the aisles.
08:36The first thing you need is a weird prop.
08:38Okay!
08:51Hey!
08:51You look weird, Fuzzy.
08:53Gosh!
08:54It's working already!
08:55Wait till you see this!
08:57This is what we in the weird business call weird-sville!
09:02Pretty funny, huh?
09:04It doesn't look funny to me.
09:06Did you hear that, fellas?
09:08He doesn't think we're funny!
09:11Whoa!
09:14I don't get it!
09:15It's simple, Fuzzy.
09:17What makes something funny is when it's unexpected.
09:21Like this!
09:28Whoa!
09:32Go ahead, Fuzzy.
09:34You try!
09:35Hmm.
09:36Okay.
09:47Thanks for trying, pal.
09:53Gee, Gonzo's imagination is dangerous.
09:57I'm getting out of here.
10:01Gonzo's too weird for me.
10:05I have not yet begun to weird.
10:09And you're not going to.
10:13I'll never find out what funny is.
10:17Nemo.
10:18Animo, what do you know about being funny?
10:21Funny is fall.
10:24Huh?
10:26Funny is trip.
10:34Oh, I get it.
10:36People will laugh at me if I trip and fall.
10:39Hey, guys, watch this.
10:41Wow.
10:45Wow, that was great, Fuzzy.
10:49I knew you could be funny.
10:51What are you talking about, Kermit?
10:52I really did trip.
10:55Oh, sorry.
10:56Now, this is a funny trip.
11:00Whoop.
11:01Oh.
11:01Great, huh?
11:04Uh, sure, Fuzzy.
11:06That was funny, wasn't it, guys?
11:09Oh, I can't even trip right.
11:16I'm just not cut out to be a comedian.
11:19All I wanted to do is make people laugh.
11:22I guess I am a failure.
11:27Gee, what are you doing, Fuzzy?
11:30I'm throwing away my joke books and all my joke stuff.
11:36You guys have been right all along.
11:39I'm just not funny.
11:42I'm giving up comedy for good.
11:48I'm tired of trying to be funny.
11:50I know how you feel, Fuzzy.
11:52It's kind of like playing a song and nobody taps their feet.
11:56Yeah.
11:57Oh, don't give up, Fuzzy.
11:58If I hadn't given you an F, you would still want to be funny.
12:03It's not your fault, Piggy.
12:05After a thousand tomatoes in the face, I can take a hint.
12:08But making people laugh always meant so much to you, Fuzzy.
12:13Are you sure you want to give that up?
12:15Uh-huh.
12:16I'm going to be the most unfunny thing I can be.
12:20Maybe I could sell books.
12:22That sounds pretty unfunny.
12:31Who is it?
12:32Uh, door-to-door sales bear.
12:35Oh, come right in.
12:36Okay.
12:37Fuzzy!
12:38I meant through the regular door.
12:41Oh, I knew that.
12:45Good afternoon, miss.
12:47My name is Fuzzy Bear.
12:49And I was wondering if you'd be interested in buying a new 3D holographic stereo encyclopedia.
12:55They're not funny, are they?
12:57Oh, no.
12:58They're not funny at all.
13:00Here, I'll show you.
13:04Whoa!
13:04Oh, sorry.
13:07I'm new at this.
13:09Oh, volume E.
13:11You'll love this one.
13:13Here's a section on earthquakes.
13:16Oh, look!
13:18Look!
13:18Turn the page!
13:19Okay, okay!
13:21Okay!
13:22Phew!
13:23That was close!
13:24What section is that?
13:27Electricity!
13:29Yeah!
13:30Nice!
13:32Maybe volume O is safer.
13:35No!
13:35Not that page!
13:37That's the ocean!
13:38Oh!
13:39Woo!
13:44Whoa!
13:47Oh!
13:48Find volume M and get up the navy!
13:52Oh, here it is.
13:56Whoa!
13:57I said navy, not oranges.
14:00Well, they're navel oranges.
14:02I was close.
14:04Wait a minute.
14:05Maybe there's a section on jokes.
14:09Jet planes.
14:10Jokes!
14:12Whoa!
14:13There's nothing worse than a wise guy encyclopedia.
14:18Gosh!
14:19What volume is that?
14:21Oh!
14:22It's K for Kermit!
14:24Oh, I don't think you were cut out to be a sales bear, Fuzzy.
14:28Really?
14:28I thought I was getting close to a sale.
14:31Come to think of it, I'm not very close to anything.
14:35Oh, let's go back to the nursery.
14:37How do we get back?
14:39Check in volume D.
14:44D for D for Drain.
14:52D for Drain.
14:54I can't tell jokes.
14:56I can't sell books.
14:57What good am I?
14:59What kind of attitude is that, Fuzzy?
15:01You've got to be good for something.
15:04I guess I could always be a bear rug.
15:08No!
15:09You're too lumpy.
15:11I know what you can be, Fuzzy.
15:14Don't you get it?
15:16Oh, yeah!
15:17I could be a metronome.
15:19No!
15:20You like standing up in front of people.
15:23You could be a singer.
15:24I could?
15:26Sure you could, Fuzzy.
15:27Yeah!
15:28Go on!
15:28Give it a try!
15:30Here goes nothing.
15:34Yeah!
15:37I can see it all now.
15:39As I walk out on stage, the audience cheers.
15:43I'm the latest rage.
15:45I grab my guitar and I'm ready to play.
15:49And then I reach for the microphone and here's what I say.
15:53Walka, walka, walka.
15:55What does that mean?
15:56Walka, walka, walka.
15:57I don't get it.
15:58I'm a walka, walka, walkin' and I don't know why.
16:01I guess I'm just a funny guy.
16:04The concert's a smash.
16:06I'm a famous bear.
16:07Oh, fine!
16:08They chase me around for a lock of my hair.
16:12My video's out and my album, too.
16:15And here's what I say on my interview.
16:20Walka, walka, walka.
16:21We don't get it.
16:22Walka, walka, walka.
16:24What's the matter with you?
16:25Walka, walka, walkin' and we don't know why.
16:27I guess I'm just a funny guy.
16:30Okay, how's this?
16:31What's the difference between a potato?
16:33That's not funny.
16:36Okay, try this one.
16:37Knock, knock.
16:38Nobody's on.
16:40Yeah!
16:41Walka, walka, walka.
16:42Is he for real?
16:43Walka, walka, walka.
16:45I can't figure it out.
16:48He's a walka, walka, walkin' and we don't know why.
16:53I can't help it.
16:55I'm a natural.
16:56Some bears got it, some don't.
16:59Pretty funny, huh?
17:02Gosh, I guess I'm not very good at singing either.
17:05It's no use.
17:06I'm not funny.
17:08I can't sew.
17:09I can't sing.
17:10I'm just a dumb bear.
17:12You're not dumb, Fozzie.
17:14I'm not?
17:15No way.
17:16In fact, with a little bit of study, I'll bet you could be a great scientist.
17:21You think so, huh?
17:23Imagine.
17:24Fozzie Einstein.
17:32Are you sure I'm scientist material, Professor Scooter?
17:36Positive.
17:37Why, with a little luck, you could discover the theory of relativity.
17:41Relativity?
17:42Wait a minute.
17:44I think I got it.
17:45Of course.
17:46I'm a bear, and bears are related to dogs.
17:50Therefore, Rolf and I are relatives.
17:52I've just discovered relativity.
17:55Oh, not quite, Fozzie.
17:58Relativity means that something is big only when you compare it to something else that's
18:03smaller.
18:04You know, it's all relative.
18:06Oh, you mean like relative to a peanut, I got a real big brain.
18:10Uh, something like that.
18:12This science stuff is fun.
18:14I think I'll invent anti-gravity chewing gum.
18:18You might be a great scientist, Fozzie, but nobody can invent anti-gravity chewing gum.
18:27Yeah, I guess you're right.
18:31Huh?
18:32Wow, you did it.
18:34You're a genius, Fozzie.
18:36Gosh, I am, aren't I?
18:38I could invent anything.
18:40Maybe even a joke formula.
18:51I've done it.
18:53Instant bunny.
18:55Huh?
18:55Huh?
18:56Wow.
18:59Instant tomato soup is more like it.
19:02Huh?
19:03Who am I kidding?
19:04I'll never be a scientist.
19:06The only formula I ever discovered was baby formula.
19:09I know how you feel, Fozzie.
19:12I felt awful when I realized I'd never be what I wanted to be.
19:17What did you want to be, Gonzo?
19:19Oh, I wanted to be green.
19:22So I think you would like me better.
19:24Oh, yuck.
19:25Beat it, Bucky.
19:31Fozzie, be happy.
19:33Thanks, Animal.
19:35But I don't want to take your toys.
19:37Toys make happy.
19:39Really?
19:40Maybe Animal's right.
19:42Maybe I need toys.
19:44Maybe if I made millions of dollars, I could buy myself happiness.
19:55It sure is hot in Texas.
19:59Hey, Kermit, wait up.
20:02Huh?
20:03Uh, do I know you?
20:04Of course you do.
20:06It's me, J.R. Fozzie.
20:08J.R. Fozzie?
20:11Gee, I haven't seen you since you left the nursery to become a billionaire.
20:16Yeah, I'm a big oil rancher now, rolling in dough.
20:20How about you, Kermit?
20:21Did you make a lot of the green stuff?
20:24Nope.
20:24The only green I got is my skin.
20:26But it's mine, and I'm happy.
20:29Uh, oh, so am I.
20:30Hey, I got everything I could possibly want.
20:33Well, then, uh, I guess you don't need me.
20:38Wait.
20:39Don't you want to see my oil ranch?
20:41Well.
20:42You're really going to like it.
20:44Okay.
20:45I've got a thousand cows.
20:48They put out ten thousand barrels of oil a day.
20:51Wow.
20:53And wait till you see this.
20:55I got my own airstrip.
20:57And my own private lake.
21:00Yes, sir.
21:01There isn't anything in the world I can't buy.
21:04You must be real happy.
21:06Now that you mention it, I'm miserable.
21:11I don't understand it, Kermit.
21:13I got cars, boats, planes, everything.
21:17How come I'm not happy?
21:19I don't know, Fuzzy.
21:21When was the last time you felt happy?
21:24It was back in the nursery, when I used to tell...
21:27jokes.
21:33I'm not crying.
21:35I just had some joke smoke in my eye.
21:39It just isn't the same anymore without Fuzzy telling his jokes.
21:43I know what you mean, Kermit.
21:45I never laughed on the outside.
21:47But when Fuzzy was happy, I always had a smile on the inside.
21:52Come on.
21:52Let's tell him.
21:55Um, there's something we want to tell you, Fuzzy.
21:59Don't worry.
22:00I'll never tell another joke again.
22:02You don't understand, Fuzzy.
22:03Fuzzy, we want you to tell jokes.
22:06You do?
22:07But I thought you said they were awful, Piggy.
22:10I did.
22:11But he never told you to give up your dream.
22:14That's right, Fuzzy.
22:15You mean, I can tell jokes again?
22:17Sure, Fuzzy.
22:18Go ahead.
22:19We love to hate your jokes.
22:21Oh, boy.
22:23Did I tell you the one about the man with the light bulb in his nose?
22:27He was lightheaded.
22:29Waka, waka, waka.
22:31What do you call a zebra with no stripes?
22:34A horse.
22:35A horse.
22:36Pretty funny, huh?
22:38Oh, gross.
22:39Oh, yeah?
22:40Well, I can do worse than that.
22:42How about this one?
22:44What do you call a yo-yo that goes down but won't come up?
22:48A yo.
22:49Whoa.
22:52Yum.
22:54Tomato.
22:55Waka, waka, waka.
22:57Ha, ha, ha, ha.
23:02Did you get a chance to connect to U2U this week?
23:05Well, today, U2U connects to you.
23:07Tune in and link in to the first interactive show that connects kids to kids across the country
23:11and throughout the planet.
23:13Be part of U2U.
23:15Today at 6 p.m., 5 central, only on Nick.
23:20Now, stay tuned for more Muppet Babies, next on Nick.
23:41Ah, ha, ha.
23:43Ah, ha.
23:44I know I'll find it.
23:47That treasure is right under my nose.
23:58That's funny, it sure is wet down here!
24:03Oh, bye-bye!
24:05La-la-la-la-la-la!
24:08La-la-la-la-la!
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