- 13 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:05The End
00:06The End
00:08The End
00:09The End
00:09The End
00:13The End
00:15The End
00:16The End
00:16Yo, I am so psyched for Invisible Force 2.
00:20Please, Invisible Force 1 was lame. I'm all about Rising Tide.
00:24Rising Tide? The Deep? Translucent could kick the Deep's ass.
00:28How? He's invisible. That's like all he's got. That's it.
00:31Exactly. He sneaks up on the Deep, and then BOOM, motherfucker!
00:35So the Deep makes a shark bite Translucent's dick off.
00:39How's he gonna find his dick? It's invisible.
00:50Good shit.
00:59Get out, get out, get out, get out!
01:07Get out, get out, get out! Come on, get out, come on!
01:09Heh heh heh heh heh.
01:24Thuh, Gah heh heh!
01:29Fuck.
01:32Worth it!
01:34Hjrgh!
01:35Fuck!uergh!
01:36Hjrgh!
01:38Hjrgh!
01:40Stay back.
01:42Just stay the fuck back.
01:44What are you smiling at?
01:51It's shit hot.
01:53Come on.
02:06Old Lander?
02:09Your boy's okay?
02:14Can I get a selfie?
02:17Of course you can.
02:21The Seven's Queen Maven Homelander
02:23made another heroic save today
02:24stopping a hijacked armored truck
02:26on the streets of Brooklyn
02:27and staying behind for a photo op
02:29with some very lucky fans.
02:31Thanks, Jennifer.
02:33So this is pretty much everything
02:34in one Bluetooth speakers.
02:37It's in stereo, so you can put it all around your living room.
02:39Have some fun with it.
02:40You said you have a standard cable box, right?
02:42Uh-huh.
02:43Okay, then I need to get you an audio transmitter,
02:45APTX, low latency.
02:46It makes it so there's less audio lag.
02:48And it's got a standard optical in.
02:49And let's hook you up with 1,000 meg HDMI.
02:52Let's go with this one.
02:54It costs a little bit more,
02:55but the carbon's way more conductive.
03:10Hey, Gary.
03:11Um, I really need to talk to you about something real quick.
03:14Later, kid.
03:14Okay.
03:15Cool.
03:17Later.
03:17You, like, in, like, 30 minutes?
03:20Like a solid 45?
03:24Excuse me, sir?
03:27Hi.
03:27I'd like to make an appointment
03:29for you to come over and lay some cable.
03:35Okay.
03:36Uh, oh, Robin.
03:37Oh, dear, dear, Robin.
03:39Um, that doesn't mean what you think it means.
03:41Um, laying cable means sex.
03:44No, laying pipe means sex.
03:47Laying cable means you want me to come over to your house
03:49and just take a big old shit.
03:52That's disgusting.
03:53Well, okay, but you, who said it, though?
03:55Okay.
03:56Are you ready?
03:56Despite your best efforts, I'm actually still hungry.
03:59I'm actually more hungry now.
04:02Where are we gonna go after all this hot talk?
04:05I don't know.
04:06More importantly, where are we gonna go
04:07to lay some cable afterwards?
04:09Jeez.
04:10So did you ask him?
04:12Who?
04:13Gary.
04:14Did you ask Gary for the raise?
04:17Yeah.
04:18Yeah, it was a...
04:19Look, it was a crazy day, and he was super busy,
04:22but tomorrow, for sure, yes.
04:25Okay.
04:26What was I supposed to do?
04:28Was it kick his door down like Homelander?
04:31I said okay.
04:32Yeah, but he didn't mean it.
04:34Hey, I see the look.
04:36I see it.
04:37Come on.
04:40This is like when we started dating.
04:43I don't think that's...
04:44I don't think that's true.
04:46Dude, I had to ask you out.
04:48Well, excuse me for waiting.
04:50You ever hear of chivalry?
04:52Listen, this is about you getting what you deserve.
04:55I'm killing myself at school because I think it's gonna be worth it for both of us.
05:00You know, if we move in together.
05:03Wait, what?
05:04What?
05:04Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
05:05What was that?
05:06What'd you just say?
05:08Well, I mean, we can't keep, you know, laying pipe at your dad's place,
05:12trying to be a little quiet, staring up at that dumb Billy Joel poster.
05:23Poster?
05:24Yeah.
05:26When you ever besmirch Billy Joel.
06:02I can't stop.
06:03I can't stop.
06:04I can't stop.
06:04I can't stop.
06:05I can't stop.
06:06I can't stop.
06:10Robin?
06:17Robin?
06:21Robin?
06:22Robin?
06:22Robin?
06:23Robin?
06:23Robin?
06:23Robin?
06:23Robin?
06:23Robin!
06:53Let the energy go through the wall!
07:04I am Starlight.
07:07I'm 110 pounds and I'm 5'6".
07:10Turn around, please.
07:18Okay, let's see it, dear.
07:21You should look away.
07:23Sorry?
07:24You should turn away from the camera and you should close your eyes or else I'll blind you.
07:28Alright.
07:31Okay, go ahead.
07:41I am so sorry. Are you alright?
07:46I was born super abled.
07:48Uh, my mom was thrilled.
07:52She took me to all the little Miss Hero pageants, but I hated it.
07:57Oh, I mean, I can still smell the hairspray.
08:03Uh, but, at the Q&A, they always asked me what my wish was.
08:11And I always said to save the world.
08:15And the judges just chuckled, like, it was cute.
08:20But, it wasn't a joke to me.
08:26Since when did hopeful and naive become the same thing?
08:32I mean, why would you get into this business if not to save the world?
08:38That's all I have ever wanted.
08:44And that's why I've always wanted to be in the seven.
09:03I thought Robin's service was nice.
09:07Did you see how many people came?
09:10Wow.
09:13A lot of respect for that girl.
09:15A lot of love in the room.
09:18And the spread.
09:19What a spread.
09:20Just really nice.
09:26Oh, jeez, maybe there's a movie on.
09:28No, keep it.
09:28Keep it.
09:33My deepest condolences to Robin Ward's family.
09:38I was chasing these bank robbers.
09:41She just stepped in the middle of the street.
09:43And I...
09:44I couldn't.
09:45Middle of the...
09:46She was a half step off the fucking curb.
09:49Hold it down.
09:49Come on, Huey.
09:50Just, uh, don't get upset, okay?
09:52Just...
09:53He knows.
10:01Everyone at Vought is just...
10:03Just wrecked about Robin.
10:06Now, you two weren't married.
10:09And look, technically, there's no legal claim.
10:14But Vought wants to do the right thing.
10:17Offer you $45,000 in restitution.
10:21All you have to do is sign right here.
10:25And I'll offer you the check.
10:29This is a confidentiality agreement.
10:32It's a boilerplate NDA.
10:34I signed this, and...
10:37I can't talk about it.
10:40To have to pretend like it didn't happen.
10:42Like I wasn't holding Robin's arms in my hands.
10:45Look, I know you're upset.
10:47But we're just trying to help.
10:49Then say you're sorry.
10:51Excuse me?
10:53I mean, you people say our condolences and my sympathy
10:56and our regrets, but nobody can look me in the fucking eye
10:59and say I'm sorry.
11:02I'm not signing anything.
11:04Get out.
11:07Get the hell out!
11:15You okay?
11:18As I said, boilerplate NDA.
11:22Really, pretty standard stuff.
11:25Can I think about it?
11:30If you have any questions at all, just, uh...
11:49Any maniacs out there?
11:50Mm-mm.
11:51Quiet night.
11:52Like, every night.
11:54It's too bad.
11:55We could really use the press right now.
12:00Oh, Annie.
12:01I'm hungry.
12:03Don't worry, I didn't get the job.
12:06You don't know that.
12:07They're auditioning girls, nationwide.
12:11Besides, Countess probably got it.
12:13She's so good in a room.
12:14If you're negative, negative things happen to you.
12:19Hello?
12:20Yes, I'm her mother.
12:24Uh, yes.
12:25Uh, one moment.
12:31Hello?
12:33Yes, this is she.
12:38I got it.
12:40You got it!
12:41I got it!
12:45Uh, I'm so, I'm so sorry.
12:48That's a weird connection.
12:50I don't know what that was, actually.
12:53Uh...
12:53Mm-hmm.
12:55There's no idea on it.
12:56There's one thing...
12:57Yeah.
12:58I think she's...
13:00Needle tracks?
13:01Spot marks on one arm.
13:03More dope coming in.
13:07What you doing?
13:08Scum.
13:09Can't file a criminal case against A-Train.
13:11Supes are like cops.
13:12They can't be charged for damages
13:14while they're on the job.
13:15Okay.
13:15Maybe we can file a wrongful death.
13:17I just gotta get Robin's parents
13:18to sign off on that.
13:20Hughie.
13:21Come sit with me.
13:23Yeah, I'm...
13:23I'm right...
13:25Okay.
13:34Good for you.
13:36You wanna make this right.
13:37What happened to Robin.
13:41But you can't.
13:44So sign this.
13:48What?
13:49This is a lot of money, Hughie.
13:51We could really use it.
13:55I can't...
13:56Dad, they killed her.
13:58Look, be realistic, okay?
13:59Even if we could pay for a lawyer,
14:01and that's a big if,
14:02there's no case.
14:04She was in the street.
14:05Be like if a bus hit her.
14:06Dad, she was one step off the curve.
14:09I saw it.
14:10You can't do this.
14:12Why not, Dad?
14:14I have...
14:14You don't have to fight.
14:15You never have.
14:20I'm sorry, but it's true.
14:24Neither do I.
14:29Now...
14:30Come and sit with me, okay?
14:33Remington Steel's on.
14:36Hughie!
14:36Where are you going?
14:53There she is!
14:54Welcome to New York!
14:56I'm Ashley Barrett,
14:57Director of Talent Relations.
14:58So...
14:59Are all these people here for me?
15:01Oh, honey...
15:03Who else would they be here for?
15:04Come on!
15:06We're running late.
15:07Come on!
15:08Come on!
15:15Ladies and gentlemen,
15:17it is without a doubt
15:19a good time to be in the superhero business.
15:23Our net income is up 14%.
15:26Our latest film, G-Men World War, just grossed shy of $1.7 billion worldwide.
15:35And this fall, we break ground on our newest theme park outside of Paris.
15:39The branding opportunities are limitless.
15:44But you know, none of that really matters.
15:48Because Job 1 is managing, supporting, and advising the brave heroes who put themselves in harm's way each and every
16:00day for us.
16:03Let's take a look.
16:11A world without crime, with liberty and justice for all.
16:17That's within our reach, thanks to the 200-plus superheroes in the Vought family.
16:24We see a bright future ahead, where there is a Vought hero in every town.
16:30You're doing really well, by the way, so far.
16:33I-I haven't done anything yet.
16:36Yeah, exactly.
16:37You're already up two and a half points with Midwesterners and conservative Christians in 18-49.
16:41That speech, by the way, your audition,
16:44it was modest, it was humble, really fucking smart choice.
16:49Oh, I-I meant it.
16:51Yeah, that's why we love you.
16:54So, you ready for your life to change?
16:56Sigh.
16:57Sigh.
16:58Including the jewel in Vought's crown.
17:01The greatest superhero team the world's ever seen.
17:05The Seven.
17:06That is our job.
17:08Our honor.
17:09We are Vought.
17:10We make heroes super.
17:18I have a very exciting surprise for you.
17:23Both a member of the Seven and Lord of the Seven Seas, live and in person, the Deep!
17:50Thank you, everybody.
17:53After a long, distinguished career with Seven,
18:00my good friend the Lamplighter has retired.
18:05Let's give her a big thank you.
18:07What do you say?
18:12But now, as we turn towards the future,
18:18I'd like to introduce someone very special.
18:21And I, for one, can't wait to work with her.
18:25Please welcome...
18:27Starlight!
18:28Let's go!
18:40Ladies and gentlemen, Starlight and Bernice!
18:48ç Niamh!
18:51PeninsulaCyberto.
18:52Please welcome!
18:54Please welcome!
18:56Please welcome!
18:57We love you!
18:59Come on!
19:05What are we?
19:06Come on!
19:07I don't know.
19:37Are you okay?
20:04Wow.
20:07Pretty cool, huh?
20:09Oh, hey, check this out.
20:11We have two Worldview Force satellites in geocentric orbit.
20:14You can essentially read a getaway car's license plate from 380 miles up.
20:19That is just...
20:21I mean, I was working with a police scanner that I bought on eBay.
20:26Yeah, well, not anymore, you're not.
20:30Oh, and wait till you check out the dining room.
20:32We, uh, may or may not have stolen Miro from Gramercy Tavern.
20:36Yeah, he's fan-fucking-tastic.
20:39That's his, isn't it?
20:43Homelander's? Yeah.
20:45But you'll have your own soon.
20:48Here, come on. Give it a test drive.
20:51Come on.
20:54Whoa, you okay?
20:56It's just...
21:00I used to stand in the mirror
21:04pretending to be where I am right now.
21:09You know something?
21:10On my first day,
21:13I, uh...
21:14Well, I felt like a fraud.
21:18Yeah, but the good news is
21:20everybody feels that way.
21:29And hey,
21:31we're a team now.
21:32We'll help each other out.
21:34Bet growing up you had a
21:36poster of Homelander on your wall, huh?
21:39No, actually.
21:41I...
21:42I don't know.
21:43Homelander is so...
21:45He's like Jesus or something.
21:49You want to know the truth?
21:52I actually had a poster of you.
21:55What?
21:56Really?
21:57Yeah, yeah.
21:58I kind of...
21:59I kind of had a schoolgirl
22:01crush on you.
22:03Oh, my God.
22:04I hope that's not inappropriate to say.
22:07No, no, no, no.
22:08It's not inappropriate at all.
22:09It's just...
22:10It's kind of wild.
22:13It's kind of wild.
22:20What?
22:21I mean, you said you had a crush on me.
22:23I figured that, you know...
22:26Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
22:26Hey, look, you're gorgeous.
22:28I'm not...
22:28I'm not talking about sex.
22:30Just a little bit of pool smoking.
22:32Whoa, whoa, whoa.
22:33Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
22:34It's just a question of how bad
22:35you want to be in the seven.
22:37Seven.
22:46Excuse me?
22:47Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
22:49Hey, hey, hey.
22:50Hey, take it easy.
22:53So now we're just...
22:54We're just talking.
22:57And look, I know that you're powerful.
22:59I get it.
22:59Your powers are no joke.
23:03Thing is...
23:04I am number two around here.
23:08So if I say so, you know,
23:10you'd be out of here.
23:12Especially since you attacked me.
23:14I what?
23:16Yeah, look.
23:19I mean, Iowa's sweetheart,
23:20the defender of Des Moines,
23:22just went psycho on the deep.
23:26I mean, that...
23:27That could put you out of the business.
23:30Yeah.
23:32I mean, home to mommy,
23:33tail took between your legs.
23:36Just think of all those kids.
23:37I mean, the kids.
23:39All those kids that look up to you,
23:42they'd just be shattered.
23:46I mean, that's not what you really want, right?
23:51Or we come together as a team.
23:53You and me.
23:54You just roll with the punches.
23:57For like three minutes, maybe.
24:00It's not a big deal.
24:02And then you know what happens?
24:05All your dreams come true.
24:12I'm sure you guys have all heard Translucent stopped a home invasion in Yonkers last night.
24:17A young single mother and her two kids.
24:20Just incredible.
24:22So tell us, how are you able to vanish?
24:25No, I don't actually vanish.
24:27My skin turns into this carbon metamaterial that bends the light.
24:32Like an invisibility cloak.
24:34All right, but just to be clear,
24:35you have to be completely naked, right?
24:48You interested in a nanny cam?
24:51Because we're actually running a special on that.
24:53It's a pretty popular bear.
24:54This camera's in the eyes.
24:55Tell me, how many nannies shake their babies?
25:00Uh, I'm sorry?
25:02You know, a good hard shake, like...
25:06Like trying to get ketchup out of a bottle.
25:10One percent less.
25:12I don't really know.
25:14Funny that.
25:16They sell a billion dollars worth of that shit worldwide.
25:20Goes to show you, doesn't it?
25:22Bollocks people will believe.
25:25If you get them scared enough.
25:28Cool.
25:30Cool, cool.
25:31Um, is there anything I can help you with today, or...?
25:35I'm not gonna piss you about, Huey.
25:39I heard what happened to Robin.
25:41I'm sorry, who are you?
25:42She wasn't in the street.
25:43She was one step off the fucking curb,
25:44and you didn't take the payoff.
25:47Yeah, I said, who the hell are you?
25:48How do you know that?
25:49Name's Butcher.
25:51Billy Butcher.
25:55Listen, I was thinking that, uh, you and me should have a little bit of a chat.
26:03You're a Fed?
26:05You don't sound like a Fed.
26:06What, I can't immigrate?
26:07It's a giant green slapper with her ass in the harbor that says different.
26:10You don't really look like one, either.
26:12No?
26:12What do I look like?
26:13Like you're starring in a porn version of The Matrix.
26:17Well, it's all right there in black and white.
26:19Okay.
26:20Uh, what exactly can I do for you?
26:22No, you got it all wrong, Huey.
26:23That's what I can do for you.
26:25See, you ain't alone, son.
26:27It happens a lot more than you think.
26:29Supes lose hundreds of people each year to collateral damage.
26:33No, come on.
26:34That'd be all over the news.
26:35People would be screaming bloody murder.
26:37Yeah, look, there might be the odd mention of it now and again like with Robin, but there's
26:40a fuck sight more that happens that just gets swept right under the rug.
26:44Why?
26:48Ain't it obvious?
26:50Movie tickets, merchandising, theme parks, video games, a multi-billion dollar global
26:57industry supported by corporate lobbyists and politicians on both sides.
27:03But the main reason that you won't hear about it is because the public don't want to know
27:08about it.
27:09See, people love that cozy feeling of Supes Given.
27:13Some golden cunt swoop out the sky, save the day, so you don't gotta do it yourself.
27:20But if you know half the shit they get up to, I'll fucking die, bonk.
27:27But then, that's where I come in.
27:32Come in to do what?
27:34Spank the bastards when they get out of line.
27:38How do you spank a suit?
27:41Come on, son.
27:43Where?
27:45You'll love it.
27:46Not likely.
27:47Uh, listen, I think this is good.
27:50I'm good.
27:51Uh, thank you for an extremely weird conversation, but, uh, I don't want to go to a second location
27:56with you, so I'm gonna get back to work.
28:00Huey!
28:02Huey!
28:07This is your one and only, mate.
28:09Once I go, I'm gone.
28:11I'm offering you the opportunity to get there and make up your girl.
28:19What have you got to lose?
28:22You're already lost.
28:45Where are we?
28:47Keep your mouth shut.
28:51Harry!
28:52Got your message.
28:54Thank you for being an upstanding citizen.
28:56You know, this is fucking police brutality, man.
28:58You know what they'll do to me?
28:59They catch me letting you in.
29:02Not half of what I'll do if you don't.
29:07Did you just say you were police?
29:10Yeah, you know, cop fed.
29:12All the same with clothes, all right?
29:25Holy shit.
29:27Pick your jaw up off the floor and try to blend it in.
29:31This is the only place where the soups can scratch that filthy little itch without the
29:36paps taking snaps.
29:42Wait, wait, wait.
29:43That's Ezekiel.
29:44I did.
29:48Capes for Christ guy?
29:50Preaches all that pray the gay away shit.
29:54No, he's the meat and the man bridge.
29:57Fuck, you hypocrite.
30:06Keep going forward.
30:09That's it.
30:10Fervor.
30:11Fervor.
30:13There, there.
30:14Stop.
30:15Wait, wait, wait.
30:16Atrient's, Atrient's here right now?
30:18Was.
30:19This is from last night.
30:21Turn up.
30:23I cannot believe you ran through a bitch.
30:26I ran so fast through this bitch that I swallowed one of her molars like a bug on the fucking
30:35freeway.
30:37Dude, that's nasty.
30:42You're laughing.
30:45You're laughing.
30:45She's a joke.
30:49You're fucking laughing.
30:57So what are you going to do about it?
30:59You're, you're, you're, you're all right.
31:04Oh boy.
31:05Oh boy.
31:13Oh boy.
31:16Oh boy.
31:25Oh boy.
31:29Yeah.
31:39Oh, for Christ's sakes.
31:41Clean yourself up.
31:43Never let them see you like this.
31:49Translucent, you're a goddamn pervert.
31:54Oh.
31:57Oh.
31:58Oh, I'll just go.
32:05They're all like that?
32:07All of them?
32:08Even Homelander?
32:11Homelander's the exception.
32:12He doesn't drink, doesn't smoke.
32:15Man's a saint.
32:17But the rest of them, yeah.
32:19Pardon my French, fuck those fuckers.
32:21Here.
32:22Have a shifty of that.
32:24What are these?
32:26That's the police log the day that Robin got murdered.
32:29A couple of bar fights, a few cars got nicked.
32:33But you know what's not in there?
32:35No bank alarms going off.
32:38No one charged at Central Booking.
32:40Hey, train stopped two bank robbers.
32:42My ass, someone's fucking hiding something.
32:46Hating what?
32:47Well, I don't know, whatever dodgy shit he was up to that night.
32:49Why couldn't he stop?
32:51I mean, what was in that bag?
32:52You know, who was he running from?
32:55Where was he running to?
32:56Bingo.
32:57Work that out, and we'll have the fucker.
32:59I can smell it.
33:01Okay.
33:04Okay, so, um, what can I do to help?
33:09Here's what you do.
33:11Ring Vaud.
33:12Tell him you'll take the money, sign the NDA, but only if A-Train's there in person when you do
33:17it.
33:17Why does A-Train need to be there?
33:18Ben, they'll take you into the 7th Tower, through a security meeting, and then you're going to plant a bug.
33:22A bug?
33:23A bug.
33:23And we'll have a little listen.
33:25See what's really going on.
33:27Okay, let me just, I'm sorry, let me just get this straight.
33:30You want me to, you want me to go to 7th Tower by myself, and you want me to plant
33:35a bug?
33:36Like I'm, what, like I'm fucking James Bond?
33:38Yeah, exactly.
33:39You got it.
33:40You're FBI.
33:41If you're FBI, then get a warrant.
33:43Why do you, why do you even need me?
33:44Huey, Huey, look, mate, I got a warrant, all right?
33:48But that place is firewalled, untappable, and locked up tighter than a nun's knickers.
33:52I couldn't get myself in there in a million years, but you, son, you could do it.
33:56No, no, I can't.
33:57Okay?
33:57I can't, no, you didn't see a train carpeting.
34:00And, and, and I'm, what, I'm just supposed to go in there, and I'm supposed to, I'm supposed
34:03to shake his hand and smile?
34:06Yeah.
34:06I'm not, I'm not, do you know who my favorite musician is?
34:09Who?
34:09James Taylor.
34:11Number two, Simon and Garfunkel.
34:12Number three, Billy Joel.
34:13Any of those guys, they don't infiltrate.
34:17Okay?
34:17I'm not an infiltrator.
34:18Oh, Huey, fucking grown up here.
34:20You hurt that cunt laughing at your girl.
34:22No, no, no, no, I can't.
34:25I can't do that.
34:26I'm sorry, I'm just going to fuck it up, and you're not going to have your bug, and
34:31I'll be dead.
34:33I'm not, I'm not like you.
34:41This is amazing, Madeline.
34:43Thank you for this.
34:44My kid is going to lose his mind.
34:46Ah, it's our pleasure.
34:48Just do not sell it online.
34:51All right.
34:52What are you thinking?
34:54Baltimore is a beautiful town.
34:56But you've got a problem.
34:57Your homicide rates are up, what, 62%?
35:01The police are not closing cases.
35:04You're on the verge of needing a federal lifeline.
35:06Cut to the chase, Madeline.
35:07Who are you proposing?
35:10Nubian Prince.
35:12Fits your population's demo, but not too militant.
35:16Caucasians love him, too, with a 59% approval rate.
35:19I am willing to give you a three-year exclusive contract with full PR support, and I'm going
35:27to give you nine and a half points of the merchandising.
35:30I thought he was in Detroit.
35:32Well, we're thinking about making a move.
35:35How much?
35:36300 million a year.
35:43I know, I know.
35:44It's a tough swallow.
35:45But we both know that your city needs a hero.
35:51200 million for Nubian Prince.
35:53I can sell that.
35:56I'm sorry, Steve.
35:57I can't do it.
35:58We've got Atlanta waiting in the wings.
36:01I think maybe you can.
36:03And why is that?
36:08I happen to know about Compound V.
36:14What is Compound V?
36:16It's the type of rumor that could really tarnish those heroes of yours.
36:20Nobody wants that.
36:22People need heroes.
36:23Now, I can make sure that that stays a rumor.
36:26Because I'm a friend.
36:28But friendship does cut both ways.
36:31I'm sorry, Steve.
36:33I don't know what you're talking about.
36:35300 million is the price.
36:38Or we go to Atlanta.
36:42So?
36:43How amazing is it?
36:44What's Holmander like?
36:46Uh, he's busy.
36:48I haven't really met him yet.
36:50But...
36:52Mom, I gotta tell you what happened.
36:55Oh, I forgot.
36:56I was playing mahjong with Patty and Trish.
36:58And Patty is going on and on about how her daughter got into med school.
37:02And I'm thinking, so what?
37:03My daughter got into the seven.
37:05And anyway, so what did you want to tell me?
37:11Everything's great.
37:13Just how we dreamed.
37:15Um, Mom, actually, you know what?
37:18I have to go.
37:19All right, bye, honey.
37:21All right, bye, honey.
37:50Tough call.
37:52Sorry, I don't mean to bother you.
37:53No, no, it's okay.
37:55Uh, I'm fine.
37:57I'm just...
37:59I'm just having a bad day.
38:01Yeah, me too.
38:03Uh, it's like a work thing or a life thing?
38:10It's a work thing.
38:14You?
38:16Uh, life thing?
38:21You know how you have this image of yourself?
38:29Like, I thought I was strong.
38:31You know?
38:32Made of steel.
38:34A fighter.
38:35And then I was faced with this horrible situation with this asshole.
38:43And I just heard my mom's voice in my head.
38:48Keep smiling.
38:50The show must go on.
38:53And I didn't fight.
38:56Now I just feel sick.
39:00Partly because I did it, but mostly because turns out I'm not who I thought I was.
39:15Oh, oh, I'm, I'm sorry.
39:18I didn't mean to just dump all of that.
39:21No, no, it's totally fine that you've dumped.
39:22And, um, listen, do you like your job?
39:31It's the only thing I've ever wanted.
39:34And it's a good job?
39:36Like you're not selling kids' mech?
39:39No, it's a great job.
39:41I can help a lot of people.
39:44The thing is, I, um, used to know this girl.
39:50And we used to go skating at Rockefeller.
39:54And I'd be on the side with this death grip on the rails.
39:57She would just charge headfirst into the middle of the rink.
40:01And she wasn't good.
40:04Like, she fell a lot.
40:08But she was never scared.
40:15And she always used to say,
40:18just because you fall on your ass doesn't mean you have to stay there.
40:23So you fell on your ass, you know.
40:26That's not who you are.
40:30So who are you?
40:37I'm a fighter.
40:41I'm gonna fight.
40:44Yeah.
40:46I'm gonna take that son of a bitch's head and clean off his body.
40:51Okay, wow.
40:52That was...
40:53Okay.
40:55Cool.
40:57A little scary, but...
40:58But cool.
41:02I'm...
41:03I'm Huey, by the way.
41:05Annie.
41:22Okay, man.
41:23I'm in.
41:28Okay, it's ringing.
41:33Yeah, hello.
41:34Hi, hi.
41:35Yes, hello.
41:36Hello, Mr. Freeman.
41:37It's Huey Campbell.
41:38I got your message.
41:39And 45K, it's just...
41:41It's just...
41:42It's bingo.
41:43Life-life-changing.
41:44Um, but I just need one thing before I sign anything.
41:48I need an apology from A-train.
41:50Uh, he already apologized.
41:52Well, no, no, no.
41:53No, yes.
41:54And he...
41:54Yes, he sent his...
41:55He sent his regrets and his sympathies on...
41:58On TV.
41:59But I...
42:00I...
42:01If I could just get an apology face-to-face,
42:05that would be fantastic.
42:06Just to...
42:07Just for closure.
42:07Just to put...
42:08Just to put a button on it.
42:10Okay.
42:10Yeah, but, uh...
42:11Hugh, I'm telling you, the answer's gonna be no.
42:14All right, in that...
42:14In that case, can you just give me...
42:16Hello?
42:17I think...
42:18They hung up.
42:19I don't think they're gonna go for it.
42:22Oh, yes, they will.
42:25Oh, yes, they will.
42:41Starlight.
42:43Don't want to be late to your first official meeting.
42:47I had a whole welcome speech planned.
42:50Sorry, sir.
42:52Please.
42:53Home letter's fine.
42:53I was beginning to wonder if you'd even show up.
42:56I mean, all that pressure.
42:57It's a lot for anyone to swallow.
43:00Yeah.
43:01Don't worry.
43:02I'll be fine.
43:03I'm here.
43:05And I'm not going anywhere.
43:10Can we get back to this, please?
43:12This is a serious crime.
43:14These assholes pirated my movie three weeks before release,
43:18and you can't walk down Fifth Avenue
43:19without bumping into a table of unlicensed Homelander shirts,
43:22copyright infringement is costing Vought 1.2 billion per year.
43:27That's money out of our pockets.
43:28We've all got, what, four points each?
43:30The fuck?
43:31You got four points?
43:34And clearly better lawyers.
43:36Hey, hey, hey, guys, come on.
43:39Stop.
43:39Stop.
43:40What's Starlight going to think?
43:42Listening to us haggling over nickels.
43:46We're the seven, for God's sake.
43:48Whether we're out there or we're in here.
43:51Now, what I do want to hear
43:54is who you saved this week.
43:57Huh?
43:59Who's up for that?
44:02Black Noir,
44:04let's start with you, man.
44:12Do you have a dog?
44:13No.
44:15All right, give us your phone.
44:17Now, it's fuck all security to worry about.
44:19In fact, they're a bunch of Muppets.
44:21And the metal detector won't pick this up, right?
44:24And what they'll probably do
44:25is take you through the security
44:26and then up into the boardroom.
44:28Sit down, be nice, congenial.
44:31They're real polite, like,
44:32telling me you want to take a fat shit.
44:33Go into the bog to take the bug out.
44:36Peel back the plastic bit
44:37to reveal the sticky side.
44:39Put the plastic bit in the bog.
44:41Flush it.
44:42Then go back into the boardroom.
44:44Sit down.
44:45Big smiles.
44:46Plant the bug underneath the table.
44:48Easy peasy.
44:49Japanesey.
44:50Bob's your uncle.
44:51That's that.
44:52That's that?
44:53That was a lot.
44:55Hold on.
44:56Can you repeat it again
44:57just a little bit slower?
44:58Because I...
44:58Shh.
44:59Listen.
45:00Fuck.
45:00Huey, calm down.
45:01All right?
45:03This is like
45:04that scene in The Matrix.
45:06Now, you could take
45:07the fucking red pill, right?
45:09Spend the rest of your life
45:10jacking off,
45:11crying into your
45:13chai tea, green latte,
45:14what the fuck?
45:15Or
45:16you could take
45:17the blue pill.
45:19Or was it the red pill?
45:20Anyway, take the other pill
45:21and quit being a cunt.
45:22Which pill do you want me to take?
45:23Just quit being a cunt.
45:25That's what I'm saying.
45:28Oh, man.
45:29Oh, man.
46:13Sir, could you empty
46:14your pockets, please?
46:15Ah!
46:26Ah!
46:32Ah!
46:36Ah!
47:13Um, excuse me, can I, uh, can I leave your bathroom?
47:20Just to be clear, A-Train's apology isn't an admission of any sort of culpability whatsoever.
47:24Do you understand?
47:31I'm sorry about having your girlfriend, all right?
47:37Hey, dude, are you okay?
47:52Fine.
47:55I appreciate the apology.
47:58Accidents happen, right?
48:00And after all, you were saving the world.
48:03Okay, great.
48:04Thank you so much.
48:05As you know, a crime fighter's work is never done.
48:06Douglas here will handle the rest of the paperwork for you, okay?
48:15Can I use your bathroom?
48:21Uh-huh.
48:26Okay.
48:33Yeah, uh-huh.
48:39Uh-huh.
48:39Uh-huh.
48:40Uh-huh.
48:41Uh-huh.
48:42Uh.
49:12What the fuck?
49:13What the fuck?
49:43Fuck A-Train. Fuck A-Train. Fuck the seven. Fuck all seven.
49:52What are we, uh, what are we doing here?
49:56Well, you gotta go to work, don't you?
49:59Yeah, but, um, I don't, uh...
50:03Well, I mean, uh, that's all I need you for right now, you know?
50:08Yeah, I mean, but I-I can-I can help with other stuff, you know?
50:12I could-I could be, like, your tech guy, you know?
50:14Like, I could be in the van with the thing and, like, you know,
50:17he's down the hall to the left. Like, I can-
50:19Yeah, look, son, I, uh, I think it's best that I take it from here, you know what I mean?
50:23Yeah, but I-I can-I can really help.
50:26I know you can help.
50:27I got it.
50:41Oh, wait, oh, hey, wait.
50:44You ever see an asshole tear up 45K?
50:51Huey.
50:55You're a good lad.
51:13Miss Stilwell. I wasn't sure you'd call.
51:16Well, this fucking chafes, but, um,
51:19I'm willing to come down to 230 million for Nubian Prince.
51:22That's very reasonable, Maddie. Thank you.
51:25And, Steve, this, um, compound V.
51:28Any rumors you may have heard about my heroes?
51:32Libelous and completely untrue,
51:35but we all know how rumors spread, so...
51:38I'd appreciate your discretion.
51:40Of course. Yeah, my word.
51:45Have a safe flight home.
51:49Cleasing cities is a thorny enough issue as it is,
51:53but allowing superheroes into national defense?
51:55We'd basically be privatizing war.
51:59Good night, Huey.
52:01You locked up?
52:03Yeah.
52:04Yeah.
52:05Thanks, Carrie.
52:18Sorry, we're closing up.
52:27Hello?
52:31Who are you?
52:33The fuck?
52:35Right in front of you, prick.
52:38You think I wouldn't find this thing?
52:46Huey.
52:51Pussy, I followed you from the fucking tower.
53:00Who was that guy who was in the car?
53:03Who was he?
53:03He put you up to this?
53:04I don't know.
53:05He was just some Uber driver, okay?
53:06Don't give me some bullshit Uber driver.
53:09You think I'm a fucking idiot?
53:12Why'd you put it in the bug?
53:14Please.
53:15Please, please, please.
53:16No, please.
53:16We're the seven, Earth's most mighty champions of the innocent, motherfucker.
53:33Sorry about this.
53:37You should fuck off, Huey.
53:45Huey?
53:46Run!
53:48Well, well, well.
53:51That ain't the invisible cunt.
53:56London calling to the faraway town.
53:59The hell is dead, a battle come down.
54:03London calling to the underworld.
54:06Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls.
54:12Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
54:26Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
54:29no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
54:29no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
54:29no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
54:29no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
54:29no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
54:52so who are you a fucking spy for who huh
55:00you're gonna fucking tell me or i'm gonna smash your fucking scalp off who the fuck are you
55:07i'll tell you who you are a fucking moron translucent doesn't even mean invisible
55:16that means semi-transparent
55:43is he is he dead
55:49boy he ain't moving
55:52oh shit how do you know the electric could do the job
55:55skin's carbon highly conductive saw it on uh jimmy fallon
56:04that would have taken me forever to work that one out good job let's get him in the boot
56:10wait what what what the trunk no no i mean what are we what are we what are we doing
56:16with him
56:17well here are you just off one of the seven mate me i you you hit him with a fucking
56:23car
56:24look potato fucking potato we're both in a shitload of trouble no no no we're not it's he he attacked
56:31us okay and you're you're a federal officer you know just just call the fucking fbi
56:37yeah okay so look technically i'm not afraid
56:43what
56:46then who the fuck are you
56:59don't worry about it kiddo it's just a little turbulence
57:02be okay
57:23dad dad what's he doing out here
57:29are you guys friends
57:34oh my god
57:38oh my god
57:39oh my god
57:56oh my god
58:02oh my god
58:14oh my god
58:24oh my god
58:42oh my god
58:48oh my god
58:50oh my god
58:59Oh, sing it.
59:01Oh, sing it.
59:27I'll sing la-la-la-la la la-la-la
59:35La la la la la la...
Comments