- 53 minutes ago
It's Always Courtney, Courtney, Courtney!
Jen's big sister is back from college (where she flunked out after her second year), and Jen is horrified when she starts hanging out with her gang. As usual, Jen has landed smack-dab in the middle of her sister's shadow — Courtney is prettier, sexier, more stylish, funnier, and better-traveled. She's also kind of a shallow witch and is dismissive as ever of Jen, but none of the gang seems to notice.
Jen's big sister is back from college (where she flunked out after her second year), and Jen is horrified when she starts hanging out with her gang. As usual, Jen has landed smack-dab in the middle of her sister's shadow — Courtney is prettier, sexier, more stylish, funnier, and better-traveled. She's also kind of a shallow witch and is dismissive as ever of Jen, but none of the gang seems to notice.
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TVTranscript
00:08One kitchen sink nachos. Knock yourselves out.
00:12I think you are my favorite person in the whole world.
00:15That's real nice, honey. Know what'd be nicer? A big tip.
00:20Hey, guys. What's up?
00:25Not much, Jaws.
00:27Is everything okay?
00:28It was until she came back.
00:31Uh-oh. Courtney's back in town?
00:34Jen's older sister.
00:35Make that Jen's prettier does everything better than me.
00:37Everybody loves her more older sister.
00:40You're just as pretty as she is.
00:41When was the last time you saw her?
00:43Maybe when I was 12.
00:45Trust me. She's prettier.
00:47How come I haven't met her?
00:48She's been away at university.
00:51Doesn't she usually go skiing for spring break?
00:53Apparently, all her fabulous friends with chalets are sick.
00:56So she's here, just dying to ruin my life.
00:59He's right behind this, dude.
01:02Die! Die!
01:03Yo.
01:05Okay, which way did those punks go?
01:07Who?
01:08Don't play games with me, maggot.
01:10What? I saw them come this way.
01:13What's that stuff all over your face?
01:16Those two covered my walkie with shoe polish.
01:18When I get through with them, they'll wish they were never born.
01:22Shh!
01:22Ow!
01:23What was that?
01:24Uh, what was what, sir?
01:25I distinctly heard a noise.
01:27I didn't hear anything.
01:29Ow!
01:30Did you mean a noise like that?
01:32I heard it too.
01:33And it's really annoying.
01:34I'd wash that shoe polish off or it might stain your face.
01:37What did you say, scum?
01:40It's just an opinion.
01:46Did you see his face?
01:48Dude.
01:50Jude.
01:54I can't help it.
01:55She makes me crazy.
01:57Big Sis is back for the week.
01:59Hot babysitter Courtney's back?
02:02Dude, she is so hot.
02:06We used to beg our parents to call her.
02:08I think I even chipped in my allowance once.
02:10Remember the white jean jacket with the tight-ripped jeans?
02:15Dude.
02:16Oh, yeah.
02:18Today's gonna be fun.
02:19I'm just gonna have to face the fact that as soon as she gets here,
02:22I'm gonna lose all of my friends.
02:24No, you're not.
02:25You're our friend.
02:26Best friends.
02:28She could never replace you.
02:29Right, who cares if she's hot?
02:32Hi.
02:33Who's your daddy?
02:35No.
02:36I'm Courtney.
02:41Great.
02:45So, since Tiffany was sick and Brandy's beach house was being renovated,
02:49I just came back home.
02:51Well, I, for one, am glad you did.
02:53I think you're really hot.
02:57Men.
02:58This town is kind of beat, but we can still have some fun.
03:00Right, Flash?
03:01Flash?
03:03Oh, there's a story here.
03:05Don't you dare tell them, Courtney.
03:07Okay, okay.
03:09Just a nickname Jen picked up when she was little.
03:11So, what's everybody doing today?
03:13We have to work, remember?
03:15Whoa!
03:15I'm gonna be late for my new job.
03:17Dudes, why don't you come check out my new gig?
03:20Come on!
03:21Okay, fine.
03:22All right, all right.
03:24Bye, boys.
03:25Bye.
03:26Later.
03:27See you, beautiful.
03:28Oh, yeah.
03:28Can you believe how long it's been since I've been to this little mall, Flash?
03:33I'm going to work.
03:34See you later.
03:35What about you two?
03:36Want to hang out?
03:37Huh?
03:38I think I heard the clones calling.
03:40The low-slung cords just came in.
03:42You work at the khaki barn?
03:43I used to work there.
03:45Maybe I'll drop by later.
03:46It's a free world.
03:48Okay.
03:49I guess it's just you and me.
03:52Looks like.
03:56She always does this.
03:58Just waltzes in and steals all my friends.
04:00Well, maybe she was just being friendly.
04:02She could have changed.
04:03Do you even remember Jeremy?
04:05The guy from tennis camp?
04:06Uh-huh.
04:07She stole him from me.
04:08He kissed me and then she stole him because she had bigger boobs.
04:12Hmm.
04:14Oh, yeah.
04:15Ugh.
04:16What a skeez he was.
04:17And Samantha!
04:18My best friend in grade two?
04:19She stole her too!
04:21Okay, okay.
04:22How could she steal a best friend?
04:23She had way better Barbies!
04:26Do you see what's happening?
04:28She's already got you defending her!
04:30I'm not.
04:31But you have to deal with her.
04:32Sisters don't just go away.
04:34Unfortunately.
04:35Don't worry.
04:36We're not going anywhere.
04:37No matter how many Barbies she has.
04:40I guess you're right.
04:41I don't need to worry about you guys.
04:47Check it out, dudes!
04:49I'm a Viking!
04:50Grab some sky, Viking!
04:53Kiss my axe, cowboy!
04:55If you two losers are finished, can we talk about something important?
05:00Like, how hot is Jen's sister?
05:03She is outstanding, dude.
05:06I mean, I remember her being cute, but...
05:08Let me try to put it into words.
05:11Fire, dude!
05:18I love older women.
05:20Me too.
05:21There's something cool about knowing that she used to tuck me into bed in my underoos.
05:26Oh, yeah.
05:27We were just dumb kids.
05:29And now we're men of the world.
05:31I've had my heart broken.
05:32I've gone on a date with Nikki.
05:34I've thrown up in my girlfriend's mouth.
05:37Yep.
05:37I guess we've all been through the fire and can truly call ourselves men.
05:42Aw, dude, dick!
05:45Sorry.
05:46Kind of snuck up on me.
05:52Aren't you going to answer it?
05:54No way.
05:55It's probably that Lydia chick.
05:56The one from the battery stop?
05:57Yeah, she's hot and all, but she's way too clingy.
06:00Like how?
06:01Like she's been calling me ten times a day.
06:03Showing up everywhere I go.
06:08Yellow glitter shots.
06:09We put you in the picture and dress you up, funny.
06:11Hi, Jonesy.
06:12It's me.
06:13It's her.
06:14Ah, Lydia.
06:15Hi.
06:16How are you?
06:17I'm great.
06:17I just wish I could see you right now.
06:20I wish I could see you, too.
06:22Your wish is my command.
06:25Huh?
06:25Hi.
06:26Ah, Lydia.
06:27Nice to see you.
06:28Oh, I missed you so much.
06:32Ah.
06:33Okay.
06:33Every minute we're apart is an eternity.
06:36Yeah, right.
06:38Um, so I'd love to hang out, but, uh...
06:41Can we speed this up, son?
06:43My wife and I have been waiting for 15 minutes for our picture.
06:46That's right.
06:48Hurry up.
06:48Right with you.
06:50Sorry, I have to get back to work.
06:51You know how it is.
06:52Yeah, you're dedicated to your art.
06:56Well, I don't know if I'd call it art.
06:58Well, I'll see you later and dream about you until then.
07:02Mmm.
07:04Oh.
07:04Thanks, guys.
07:05You rock.
07:06Anytime, dude.
07:09Thanks for shopping at the penalty box.
07:11Have a good day.
07:12Good work, Masterson.
07:13That's a new sales record.
07:15MVP all the way.
07:16Thanks, Coach.
07:17I do my best.
07:19Jen!
07:19I had no idea your sister was so cool.
07:22She took me to the best shops.
07:25Don't be so modest.
07:26You have an eye for halter tops that blows my mind.
07:30I do?
07:31Really?
07:32It's all happening again.
07:34So this is where you work.
07:35I could never work here.
07:37It smells like gym socks.
07:38But it totally suits you.
07:40You even get to dress like a guy.
07:42It's a referee's uniform for your information.
07:45The joke in our family was that Jen was the brother we never had.
07:48I like sports.
07:49So what?
07:50Oh, don't get me wrong.
07:51Sports are cool.
07:55Wow.
07:56I was on the team that won the city championship.
07:58But your team's good, too.
07:59Didn't you get to the quarters?
08:01Summies.
08:03Right.
08:03Come on, Kate.
08:04Let's hit the khaki barn.
08:05Okay.
08:07Unless you want me to stay.
08:10No.
08:10Go.
08:11Catch you later, Flash.
08:16All right.
08:16That's coming out of your salary, Masterson.
08:21So, you don't know when he'll be back?
08:23No.
08:24He went out and said specifically to tell you he didn't know when he was going to be back.
08:30Well, give him this gift for me.
08:32What is it?
08:33It's an anatomically accurate life-size sculpture of my heart.
08:37I did it from an MRI I had last year.
08:40I would have made a model of my soul to go with it, but it's invisible to magnetic resonance imaging.
08:49Dude, that is one freaky chick.
08:54Welcome to my nightmare.
08:58Hey, Nikki.
09:00Hey, what's up?
09:01Courtney convinced me to take the day off to shop.
09:03Aren't you going to get in trouble?
09:05Maybe, but she's a colored genius.
09:08Where's our friend, Jen?
09:10She had to stay at work.
09:12The new hoodies have arrived!
09:14So, Jen really admires you, you know?
09:17She is my best friend.
09:19That's right, and I'm her best friend, and no amount of boobs is going to change that.
09:24Wow, that girl's so pretty.
09:26How come I don't know her?
09:27Look, isn't that Avril Lavigne?
09:29Oh my gosh, where?
09:32It must be hard for you working here.
09:34What do you mean?
09:35Well, you know, the khaki barn employs child labor in India.
09:38Ugh, yeah, it's disgusting.
09:40That's what I think is so cool about you.
09:42You're working from within the system to change things.
09:46Yeah, well, I try to sell as little as humanly possible.
09:49Oh, please.
09:50Can't you see she's playing you?
09:52Mass is in.
09:52I need a price check on tube socks.
09:54Stand.
09:54Oops, sounds like they need to at work.
09:56Ugh, fine.
09:57Just remember who your friends are.
10:00Well, that was dramatic.
10:01We're going for a coffee.
10:03When do you get off?
10:04I could give you some tips on how to keep your sales down.
10:06I kind of make my own hours.
10:08Kate, you coming?
10:09Wait for me!
10:14And that's when Flash fell into this huge pile of dog poo.
10:17She got it all over her dress.
10:22You're really funny and hot.
10:26Hey, Jen, I hear your cousin's wedding was a real stinker.
10:30You told them the dog poo story?
10:32They dragged it out of me.
10:34And the Flash story.
10:36So you used to run around the backyard naked, huh?
10:39Do you ever still do that?
10:41I can't believe this is happening.
10:43Relax, Flash.
10:45We've all had embarrassing moments.
10:47Don't call me Flash!
10:49So, Jonesy, what's with the outfit?
10:51I'm incognito.
10:53Has anyone seen Jonesy?
10:54I have a present for him.
10:56I think I saw him at the arcade.
10:58He was looking for you.
10:59Really?
11:00Thanks!
11:02How can I ever repay you?
11:04I know.
11:05Let's all get our pictures taken together at Jonesy's store.
11:08Not what I had in mind, but that could be fun, too.
11:11Sounds good.
11:12Let's roll.
11:14Coming, Flash?
11:15I knew it.
11:17It happens every time.
11:20Alright, I'm the Warrior Queen.
11:22Jonesy, you and Jude are my war chiefs.
11:24You stand beside me.
11:26Wicked.
11:26Alright!
11:28Nikki, you're my trusty sidekick.
11:30Wyatt, you're my scribe.
11:32Cool.
11:34Oh, I like this.
11:35Can I borrow it?
11:36What about me?
11:38You're the princess.
11:40And Flash?
11:40Jen.
11:41My name is Jen.
11:43Sorry.
11:44Jen.
11:45You get to be the evil swamp hag.
11:47No way.
11:48Come on, it'll be fun.
11:49Forget it.
11:50I am not your evil swamp hag.
11:52Why are you being such a baby?
11:54I am not being a baby!
11:55I just don't want to be that evil swamp hag, okay?
12:00Hmm.
12:02Fine.
12:02Just give me the costume.
12:05That's a great picture.
12:07Jen, the look on your face is priceless.
12:10Yeah, you really look like you want to kill Queen Courtney.
12:15Acting's all about motivation.
12:17I have an idea.
12:19Let's go to XS.
12:20The dance club?
12:21It just opened.
12:22I hear it's hot.
12:22Dude, I heard the bouncers there were all 6'4 X wrestlers.
12:27Yeah, and we don't have ID.
12:29We're 16, remember?
12:31Are you guys going to let a little thing like ID stop you?
12:34Hmm.
12:36So uncreative for youngsters.
12:38Come on.
12:39Courtney's going to teach you all a little trick.
12:44Whoa!
12:46Whoa!
12:47Uh...
12:48Oh.
12:49Whoa!
12:51Whoa!,
13:03whoa!
13:09Voila, you're all officially 21.
13:12That is the coolest thing I have ever seen a girl do.
13:16You know, if you keep scowling like that, you're going to get old.
13:20Wow, I really look 21.
13:23Hey, awesome.
13:25Hey, what if we get caught?
13:27I thought you were the chilled out one.
13:28All right, okay.
13:29It's chill.
13:30I'm chill.
13:31Cool.
13:32Then let's go shake some booty.
13:34Cool.
13:36Court, this has got to stop.
13:38You could get them in real trouble.
13:40Relax.
13:41It'll be fun.
13:42You know, fun.
13:43Oh, I know how to have fun, but not by sneaking into a bar.
13:47You're just jealous that they like me better than you.
13:50Oh, that's it.
13:52She might be prettier and hotter and cooler, but she's not funner.
13:57More fun.
14:09No ID.
14:11No entry.
14:12Must have left it in my other pants.
14:18Whoa, told you, bro.
14:20That dude can crush you like I can.
14:23Maybe we should come back when we're 30, just to be safe.
14:25I don't know about you guys, but I'm going in.
14:36It worked.
14:37Come on, guys.
14:45Finally, I've got those maggots right where I want them.
14:55Dude, this place is awesome.
14:58Sick sound system.
15:15This is so fun.
15:17Hey, where's Jet?
15:18Probably at home with Mom.
15:20She's about as much fun as a math quiz.
15:32No way, Jen?
15:36Hi, that's my dress.
15:38Whoa, you're hot.
15:40So you don't think I'm fun enough, huh?
15:42Well, how fun is this?
15:44Woo, Jen.
15:46Get a shake.
15:48Go, go, go, go.
15:50All right.
15:51Oh, yeah.
15:51Oh, look at mine.
15:58Jen, your dress is kind of not there.
16:07Poor Jen.
16:09This is so embarrassing.
16:11It's even better than the time she fell in the poop.
16:14How can you be so mean?
16:16She's your sister.
16:18Oh, come on.
16:18It was funny.
16:20I'll go see if she's all right.
16:23Nobody's going anywhere.
16:24Uh-oh.
16:26Officer, I'm not with these kids.
16:29Your papers seem to be in order.
16:31You're all coming with me until the police arrive to arrest you.
16:35But I'm really 21.
16:36She's my friend.
16:37Ask her.
16:37Can it, lemon girl.
16:39Hey, Flash, you fixed my dress.
16:41Some friend you are.
16:43They aren't really my friends.
16:44They're yours.
16:45Oh, no.
16:47They're our friends now.
16:49Hey.
16:53And being a friend comes with a certain amount of responsibility.
16:56Listen to you.
16:57Always mom and dad's little star.
16:59Are you kidding me?
17:01All they ever talk about is how proud of you they are.
17:03Winning that stupid beauty pageant.
17:05Being in university.
17:07It's always Courtney.
17:08Courtney.
17:09Courtney.
17:10Yeah, well, that's all going to change.
17:11What do you mean?
17:13I'm not home because it's spring break, Jen.
17:15I'm home because they kicked me out of school.
17:18So you flunked out?
17:20That's awesome!
17:22I mean, you know, you're not perfect.
17:25After all.
17:26I never was.
17:28You're the one they're proud of.
17:29You worked so hard and now you have these great friends.
17:33I'm the one who's jealous of you.
17:36Really?
17:37Swear.
17:38So, are we friends again?
17:41Yeah, but I'm still mad at you for stealing that guy from me.
17:45Well, now that everyone knows you have boobs of your own, that shouldn't be a problem.
17:50Love ya.
17:51Love you too.
17:52Okay, the gang's in trouble.
17:54What are we going to do?
17:55I always have a backup plan.
18:03Dude, this is like harshing on my mellow.
18:07Your whining won't get you anywhere with me, son.
18:10You can't keep us here.
18:12I demand my phone call.
18:14Ooh, good call.
18:15Order a pizza.
18:16No phone calls until you're officially under arrest.
18:19No, for these next few minutes, you're all mine.
18:23And I'm going to savor them like the smell of a jungle foxhole at dawn.
18:28Jungly and foxy with a touch of hole.
18:31We've come to get our friends.
18:34Nothing.
18:37This would make a great promo poster for the store, don't you think, Jonesy?
18:41Heck yeah!
18:42You'll give me the photo if I let them go?
18:45Clear their records and it's yours.
18:50Out, all of you.
18:53Sweet.
18:54Can I keep this as a souvenir?
18:57Out, soldier!
18:59Pleasure doing business with you.
19:01Never mess with the Masters and Sisters.
19:04Where did you get that?
19:06I found it in the back files at Glitter Shots.
19:12Yep.
19:13I don't think that rent-a-copy bugging us for a while.
19:15I can't believe I almost got arrested.
19:18Again!
19:19So where's the freaky chick, dude?
19:22I let her down easy.
19:23She had a severe case of Jonesy-itis.
19:26Jonesy!
19:27Where have you been?
19:28Uh, I broke up with you, remember?
19:31That doesn't mean we can't still go out.
19:33Actually, it does.
19:35Let's have our picture taken together.
19:37Uh, let me think about that.
19:39Mmm, no.
19:40Plus, I got fired from the picture place.
19:42They found the fake ID files.
19:44Come on!
19:45It'd be really romantic.
19:47Okay, that's enough.
19:50Who are you?
19:51She's my new girlfriend.
19:53Girlfriend?
19:54Girlfriend?
19:54Uh...
19:55Oh, yeah.
19:56I-I'm his girlfriend.
19:58He's my man.
19:59You two don't look like a couple.
20:02We are.
20:02We go for walks,
20:04we, uh, eat things together,
20:05and we, um, we, uh...
20:10Oh!
20:12There.
20:12Now do you get the picture?
20:14You don't have to be rude about it.
20:18Nicky, I...
20:19You wanna go out to food with me?
20:23Dinner?
20:24Hmph.
20:25I'll think about it.
20:26Ah.
20:28Whoa.
20:29I think there's a lot about chicks
20:31that I don't understand.
20:33Got that right.
20:34I think there's a lot of chicks that I don't know.
20:35I think there's a lot of chicks that I don't know.
20:36I think there's a lot of chicks that I don't know.
20:37I think there's a lot of chicks that I don't know.
20:37I think there's a lot of chicks that I don't know.
20:37I think there's a lot of chicks that I don't know.
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