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00:00We started with ten comedians
00:03It's like the first day of school
00:04and just one rule
00:05do
00:06not
00:07laugh
00:10Are you doing bub alright?
00:11or burp
00:13or squirt sausages at a nice old lady
00:16Oh dear
00:17but one by one
00:19they've cracked
00:20No!
00:21Whoa, snap!
00:23Ten
00:24has become four
00:26I've gotta give you a red card
00:31His eye looks like a grape
00:32in a tumble dryer
00:40Who will go the distance
00:41and be the last one laughing?
00:44Okay, that was definitely a laugh
00:57Boils!
00:57Go!
00:58Go!
00:58Go!
00:59Go!
01:01Go!
01:03Go!
01:10Go!
01:12Go!
01:13Go!
01:15Go!
01:16Go!
01:18Go!
01:24Go!
01:26We've only got 40 minutes left.
01:27So we're going to go sudden death.
01:29Oh, wow.
01:31OK.
01:33We've not got much time left.
01:34If anyone laughs, it's a red card.
01:37Ooh.
01:39What are you doing there, Jimmy?
01:41I've got to go.
01:42I've got to be quick.
01:44Hey, look at them gun.
01:46Doors.
01:48Doors!
01:49For fuck's sake.
02:00Jimmy, as I live and breathe.
02:07Do you want a hand, Jimmy?
02:09I'll be OK.
02:15If they didn't laugh at that, they're not going to laugh at anything.
02:18No, no.
02:22You're really happy, aren't you?
02:24I might just leave that there.
02:25Doors.
02:30He's left his fricking little safe, I think.
02:42Oh, dear.
02:44No, I think it's a little proof.
02:47Did you see that I bumped into the door?
02:48Yeah.
02:49Yeah.
02:50I thought I styled it out.
02:51No, no, no, no.
02:53It was a little panic in your voice as you went, Doors!
02:58Doors!
02:59Doors!
03:22Doors!
03:22Doors!
03:25Doors!
03:27Doors!
03:50Doors!
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09:18um okay yes so um
09:23i went uh on a dating app the other day um as a result of which my wife has left
09:31me
09:33uh in retrospect i i shouldn't have used her email but
09:39didn't want the spam um
09:47ah cats and dogs um so cats and dogs
09:54they're overwhelmingly similar aren't they domesticated mammalian quadrupeds
09:58the lot of them bob bob bob's in trouble so no no point in anthropomorphic
10:07fundamentally they're the same thing they they live in the house and they won't try to kill you
10:11oh you know although there have been terrible terrible news so let's just no move along
10:18hmm crowd work um
10:25wait where you're from uh middlesbrough no i'll keep the where where you're from
10:31middle fucking him he he said fucking him honestly what a fucking fucking him where
10:38fucking him i'm sure it's weird are you are you together not really what are you doing with him
10:50that's going nowhere um
10:55so close to what i do though
10:59observational stuff um okay so what about what's the deal with assisted dying
11:10who wants assistance dying it's the last thing you want i mean what's next assisted stubbing your toe
11:18assisted being late for work assisted stepping on a plug
11:24assisted falling over assist what other bad assisted being in a traffic jam assisted food poisoning
11:36assisted getting a bag back why do people want assistance dying hmm it's a serious topic
11:47yeah no obviously you're quite right there's um they're in a lot of pain is the bottom line is it's
11:53it's no existence for some people anyway that's all i've got time for um so have a great trip back
12:00to
12:04fucking him
12:04you idiots
12:08uh thanks you've been a great audience i'm david mitchell good night
12:14that's the closest bob's come yeah definitely it's not out of woods yet sam's gonna try and
12:19finish him off go on sam i didn't mind that i thought he was all right i enjoyed that very
12:25much
12:26he was good he was extremely funny yeah bright future that was right up my street and he's very good
12:37where are you from middlesbrough fucking um
12:43you know it's a few wrinkles to iron out but please i can book i can book the o2 i
12:49think no wrinkles as far
12:50as i was concerned what sort of usually tickles your funny burn he should have asked that six hours ago
12:57shouldn't he
12:59i like innuendo like a clever innuendo well you're as dry as a divorcee's martini
13:07a what what you're as dry as a divorcee's martini
13:12why is it what's the innuendo there
13:19it's a simile yeah why would a divorcee have a particularly dry martini
13:28do you mean dry as in just sort of dry
13:39can i show you please do dave let's get let's get close i'm a bit worried what's this what's he
13:46got
13:47there's a thing on that will put it delicate it's on the bottom of my back
13:53mm-hmm it's changed do you want me to investigate well i've taken it i've taken a picture
13:59i just love your your opinion really i mean
14:05what do you think there's this sort of metallic blue
14:11it's sort of you see the skin around it is disrupted do you want me to have a look well
14:16just
14:16sort of zoom out a bit maybe oh actually no it's fine sorry it's a hot cross bun
14:23just a hot cross sorry that's not there just it's just hot cross bun sorry
14:31this is it this is it you see that's sorry that's how stupid that's just that's you see
14:37oh oh oh looks to me like you've got lunch and meat of the back right yeah yeah
14:49bob immediately spotted it as lunch and meat he's he's got up close with a lot of lunch and meat
14:55he's probably woken up to that view i'm so
15:00intimately involved with luncheon mates and spams that i knew straight away what i was looking at
15:11okay i'm going back in there okay i'll deal with this
15:18okay gotta get in somehow they're gonna go head to head doors
15:22hey oh who's in hey jimmy he's not so happy sorry uh bob mel please join me on stage for
15:29a head to
15:29head challenge okay we are going to test your knowledge of the animal kingdom what i'll let
15:37you to do is look your partner in the eye it's a game i call nature calls i'd like you
15:42to in turn
15:44look your partner in the eye and make the noise you think this animal makes mel you're to go first
15:52a coquettish bee one moment
16:06okay bob a drunk elephant
16:15oh
16:17oh
16:21well a mafia boss sheep
16:27bye bye
16:30bye-fucking-bye
16:39bob's gonna go now they've both got twitches
16:47bob a duck from belfast no
16:53crack
17:02crack
17:04sounds a bit norwegian to me he's been there yeah but he's based in belfast he's done the tour
17:13well traveled i was thinking dutch that was crazy definitely european
17:21crack that's more oslo than belfast i'd need more belfast bob crack that's definitely more oslo
17:28great
17:29crack
17:31oh my god how can you survive that okay mel a geordie monkey
17:47it is very good that is what they sound like
17:51oh that is so crap bob a cool goat
18:03meh
18:07meh
18:10yeah that was pretty cool mel a flamboyant frog
18:15ribbit ribbit
18:20ribbit ribbit
18:21this is very naughty
18:26ribbit ribbit
18:28ribbit ribbit
18:31hey bob easy one for you a randy dolphin
18:42it's very far away
18:45very far away
18:46can you come a bit closer please
18:49really no no the dolphin
18:53pardon me
18:55hi
19:02hee
19:04meh
19:06mel's gone she's gone no no
19:10no
19:14you'd like to take your seats we'll take a look at the clip
19:17having to do those animal noises at very very close quarters with mortimer i think it was a quick
19:23bark of a laugh it was a bit like that couldn't pull it back and i knew i'd lost it
19:27then
19:28that was extraordinarily fun let's take a look
19:31a bob a bob easy one for you a randy dolphin
19:43oh
19:43oh
19:44mel i'm gone
19:45oh no that was a laugh disguise
19:47it was fun though wasn't it it was brilliant i loved that every i don't want to go
19:53i must go you have to go but you've done very very well please come with me
19:57and then there were three thanks mel
20:00we all need you okay guys be strong doors
20:08i thought you were out first you did so well i honestly thought you'd be gone in seconds
20:16well done
20:19you did so well
20:22brilliant you were so brilliant i've done something permanent
20:27mel survived the drunk elephant and the duck from belfast but the randy dolphin got her it's game over for
20:34gedroych
20:36you ain't laughing are you sam i don't know what's going on i think i have found his own
20:41but i know what you mean well i guess it answers the question how long does it take you to
20:45go
20:45utterly mad in a room yeah you are the love of my life i will treasure that and i'll hold
20:54you to it
20:55i'm gonna ask everyone who do you think is gonna win sam sam sam sam sam sam everyone's saying sam
21:05i'm gonna go david mitchell okay let's restart the game this is so fast
21:12we're off again okay
21:25do you have a special name for a wee that you do if you get up in the night no
21:31no not a special name
21:35bob's going for david now but i do one regularly
21:43right could i recommend calling it a chadwick
21:47chadwick's not chadwick yes i'm just yeah just sorry i was chadwick just just chadwicking
22:07i got you with chadwick bob's gone okay
22:19another one bites the dust oh bob no way doors
22:28hey jimmy oh bob take a look could i recommend calling it a chadwick
22:34chadwick chadwick's not chadwick yes i'm just yeah just sorry i was chadwick just just chadwicking
22:49flocking out that's the way to go the champion has been defeated mr mitchell did me did you with your
22:57own chadwick i got david mitchell talking about his early evening movement i think he just caught me
23:05off guard it's it just made me laugh now one of you has got more cards for other people than
23:11the
23:11other one we've got five minutes remaining if neither of you laugh in the next five minutes the
23:15person who has caused the most laughs will be the winner the laugh assassin the laugh assassin yeah
23:20nice bob come with me good luck lads good luck to you been a pleasure doors i'll watch you man
23:28i think
23:28wherever you've been on my life all right yeah yeah sorry then i mean yeah you did very well again
23:35not so bad yeah bronze bronze this time bronze yeah it's good the chat turned to late night wheeze
23:42and bob simply couldn't hold it any longer our reigning champion is out
24:05it's good to have you thank you let's restart the game i got this killer question i think it's just
24:11going to do you but i don't want to waste it if there we go
24:13it's good to have you i don't want to waste it if you want to waste it if you want
24:17to waste it
24:18david how many emails do you get most days both are so incapable of an authentic chat aren't they
24:26well it varies maybe 20. promotional or social oh i don't get much spam mainly admin
24:38this doesn't feel very natural conversation does it no no we're very different people we are really
24:45different people we're different okay and congrats to making it the final two thank you i think it's
24:51nothing to sneeze at you know it's pretty awesome yeah yeah though likewise yeah you think we've done
24:57we've acquitted ourselves well dave might go you know i don't think sam's going sam is invincible
25:06i'm going back in go on jim let's seal the deal come on what would you do if you were
25:12you i'd do
25:13mine i think the shouting was kind of nice yeah we go back to the shouting yeah okay we've got
25:17to
25:17find a winner doors they can operate that better than that puff hi guys uh congratulations on making
25:29it this far yes please take a seat as a special treat i've got some uh delicious food for you
25:38you can
25:38eat as much as you like but there is a catch you have to feed each other are you happy
25:43to do that i'm
25:43happy to do that go for it i couldn't survive this could you not somebody feeding me no and what's
25:49the
25:49policy on feeding frenzies uh we're all in favor of it yeah yeah doors okay
25:57oh my god there's so many items there what would you go for i'd go hand on eclair hand feed
26:03eclair
26:04i think i think i think i would go eclair and then a proper actual mush
26:10do you like some squirty cream yeah
26:18it's a little bit scott oh sorry just pop that back in there we go shame to miss it he's
26:23got his
26:23finger in his mouth that can't be good can it i'll have a squirt oh will you ever oh my
26:32god
26:32oh no i would be howling yeah i would be out oh god i don't think harry houdini could escape
26:40these
26:40eyes the great escape artist that's a great line i mean it's a bit dated but yeah oh i think
26:48that's
26:48just the gas that was like oh sorry sorry david sorry david sorry oh no i can't make it stop
26:56sorry
26:56don't make it sexual no no no you do oh david
27:04has it at all got in my beard just a smidgen this is so wrong what are we watching uh
27:13ever seen a little
27:14flick lady in the trap oh i think you'd have to take control of one yeah yeah okay
27:25oh my god
27:32my mouth isn't good enough there's always room for more jelly oh a bit of jelly
27:37good some not even a flicker right hello um you've got to savour it does it taste funny it doesn't
27:45ever why aren't you laughing then david you need to have some of this deli it is so good okay
27:51okay we need a really nice big bit there we go big bit here it comes here comes the airplane
27:56oh with circle in the runway oh here we go
27:59oh this is like cctv footage of a nursing home
28:11banana you think so yeah okay they say they're easier to peel from the counterintuitive ends i read
28:17that in the trades
28:20that lean in could have been amusing many hours ago yes but now that part of me has died it's
28:26gone
28:29can i tell you there's one minute to go
28:34eat it
28:45is it banana-y it's really good maybe the potassium
28:51if you like me oh yeah i do like you yes
28:56i don't want that because i really like you
29:00it's starting to become something of a fascination
29:06you want chips now we probably shouldn't have had dessert before the
29:09yeah as a savory pudding they're stone cold go on
29:15you can't like that okay we're going to count down you have 10 seconds remaining 10 okay quick
29:24nine oh my days eight
29:28david seven
29:31six this has been such a nice experience five
29:35chip four
29:37how's the chip
29:39three
29:41i'm going out hard for the revolution
29:44one
29:54wow amazing incredible
30:01okay it goes to the tiebreaker
30:04what happens whoever's caused the most cards is the winner
30:08the most laughs
30:10who's caused the most laughs is it sam or dave
30:13okay it's come down to this a tiebreak
30:17doors
30:20hey jimmy
30:20gentlemen if you'd like to join me on the stage
30:23thank you
30:25thanks very much you've both played an incredible game
30:30one of you will be declared the winner of last one laughing
30:35and i can tell you the person that caused the most laughs today
30:39is
30:43whoa sam
30:49he's gone bright red
30:54sorry i was just chad wicking
31:02david mitchell
31:06thank you very much
31:12we have a winner
31:15well done
31:17and congratulations thank you let me kiss you on your shoulder
31:23he's so sweet now how do you gents feel that was quite insane because i think we
31:30disappeared into a place where there was no laughter i have to say for all of the bleakness
31:36at the end i am delighted to win and i think that shows a want of character in me but
31:42i was very
31:43pleased what was the closest you came to laughing today um alan carr just when i would check him
31:48out sometimes he would really crack me up i came close quite a few times early you were both
31:54absolutely unbreakable i kept thinking this driver was telling me about we're going up in foster
31:59care it was like really harrowing and i've just been thinking about that to get to this place
32:04is david mitchell a worthy winner absolutely the guy is a pro roisin come through with the others
32:10and the trophy oh wow
32:16i'm really pleased that david won he did so much and on the strength of his singing and dancing
32:23alone i think he deserved it
32:32it went to the mitch and i think he was very very flipping solid all the way through
32:41you're entertaining you're making other people laugh but you're solid yourself absolutely worthy of the
32:49truth well done he was funny he was sharp he was just really good entertainment so i'm really
32:58pleased he won well done that was uh last one laughing uh season two david mitchell is the winner
33:05i mean they're all winners we've had a tremendous time
33:14david's a formidable force just because of his wit and his brain well done david nice one it was just
33:20a
33:21terrifically funny group of people i was honored to be in their company to be chosen alongside them it
33:29would just so genuinely of hell oh this is nice that's our show everyone thanks for watching good night
33:47good night
33:53so
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