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01:58First one in, it's Rob Beckett, one of my favourite comics.
02:03Rob hosts a very successful parenting podcast.
02:05Fun fact, he only does it so he can get an hour off from the kids.
02:09Oh, here we go.
02:12Who would have hated to see the house?
02:15My ex?
02:17LAUGHTER
02:20Locker room.
02:21Is he allowed to smile now?
02:23Until we start the game, they're all allowed to smile.
02:25He needs to get all his smiles out.
02:26Someone needs to tell him.
02:27OK.
02:29So I'll just wait here for a bit then.
02:31None of our comedians know who else is taking part,
02:33so as they enter, they're finding out who they're up against.
02:36Right, time for our second player.
02:38It's Daisy May Cooper.
02:40Oh, my God.
02:40She is so funny.
02:42So lovely.
02:44I am terrible at keeping a straight face.
02:48I'm just the worst.
02:49It's like asking a fish not to swim.
02:54Oh, hello.
02:55Oh, my darling.
02:56How are you?
02:57Good.
02:58I'm good.
02:59You can smile, can't we?
03:00Yeah, we're out right now.
03:01It's just when the game starts.
03:03Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
03:04Well, I'm not glad you're here, actually.
03:06OK, well, you took that compliment back quick.
03:09There's a locker room for you to put your suitcase in.
03:11Right, OK.
03:12I mean, I've literally been here for about 20 seconds,
03:14but I feel like I should show you around.
03:16OK, next to go in, it's Richard Ayoade.
03:19Comedian, actor, writer, director.
03:20Richard is going to be the man to beat.
03:23With regards to keeping a straight face,
03:26I haven't, I think, laughed properly since the 90s.
03:30Oh, sorry.
03:34Oh, darling, thank you.
03:36Hello, mate.
03:37Thank you very much.
03:38Come here.
03:39You all right?
03:40What's this?
03:41Oh, this is lovely.
03:43I took flowers, and I thought,
03:45this is a way of keeping people at a distance.
03:48I've noticed the young like to hug,
03:51which I view as an assault.
03:53How are you?
03:54Good, you all right?
03:55I'm all right.
03:55We were going to jump out on you, but I didn't make it.
03:58OK, yeah, that would have been hostile.
03:59All right, next in, it's Sarah Pascoe.
04:02Oh, my gosh.
04:04Oh, my darling.
04:06Sarah is a brilliant comedian and a vegan,
04:08so she puts the funny in funny tummy.
04:11This is exciting.
04:13Oh, it's Sarah Pascoe!
04:15I felt really emotional,
04:16like I was going to burst into tears.
04:18Richard, hello.
04:19She's a big laugher, Sarah.
04:21She is a big laugher, yeah.
04:22There's a locker room at the back.
04:23Do we need to show you where that goes?
04:25Rob's showing around.
04:26I love it.
04:27He's gone into full dad mode.
04:28OK, next.
04:29It's Joe Wilkinson.
04:32I don't think I'll make any of my peers laugh,
04:35and I only know this because they inform me.
04:39I've never seen him out of his brown suit.
04:41I didn't realise he had other shitty clothes.
04:44Oh, it's Joe Wilkinson!
04:47Oh, fuck.
04:49Yeah, this makes sense.
04:50I'm out first.
04:51Not for me, thank you.
04:52He's started already.
04:53He's doing business.
04:54Oh, this is a funny, funny lot.
04:57Do I get a hug or not?
04:58Oh, that's lovely.
04:59Back off.
05:00All right, next in, it's Harriet Kemslin.
05:03Brilliant up-and-coming comic.
05:05Oh, this is...
05:06This is crazy.
05:07I still don't have a sure-fire way of making people laugh.
05:10Ask the people of Middlesbrough.
05:12I did a gig there.
05:13If they are in the house,
05:14they would be really good at not laughing.
05:17Awesome.
05:18Oh, my goodness.
05:21Thank you so much.
05:23Rob's really good at showing you where to put your case.
05:25Oh, thank you, Rob.
05:27Are you going to show me around?
05:27I didn't want the luggage to pile up.
05:30And I basically got caught in that.
05:31I thought, you know what?
05:32In for a penny, in for a pound.
05:34I'm the locker guy.
05:35There's a locker room this way, Harriet.
05:36Thank you, Rob.
05:37OK.
05:37Oh, hang on.
05:38Rob's on it.
05:39Are you good at not laughing?
05:40No, not really.
05:41But also, I smile a lot, the way my face falls.
05:44That's mine as well.
05:45Like, some people have very angry expressions,
05:47but mine's just, like, gormless.
05:48I think I'm just going to try and get as depressed as possible.
05:50Yes.
05:50And just think sad thoughts.
05:51I'm just going to think about the Me Too movement.
05:54OK, next to go in, it's Judy Love.
05:56Oh, no.
05:57Stand-up comic, Loose Woman,
05:58and also, she appears on Loose Women.
06:01This is nice.
06:04Hello!
06:06Hello!
06:06Hi!
06:07Hi!
06:09I've always wanted to meet you in person.
06:11No, you still haven't.
06:12Oh, my gosh.
06:13How are you?
06:14I'm so-so.
06:15Hello, I'm expecting a hug.
06:17No.
06:17What do you mean, no?
06:19I don't think intimacy should be accelerated in this way.
06:21Who said it was going to be intimacy?
06:23You see where your mind took you?
06:24You better calm down.
06:26Let's see who's next.
06:27It's Joe Lycett.
06:28Oh, what?
06:30He's a BAFTA winner and host of Late Night Lycett.
06:34Incredible.
06:35I think I'm fucked because I find things not being allowed to be funny
06:40really funny.
06:42Hello!
06:43Hello, you bastard!
06:45Oh, dear, this is a problem.
06:48Hello!
06:49Oh, gosh, you're going to kill me.
06:52You're going to kill me.
06:53Next in, it's Lou Sanders.
06:55Yay!
06:56Lou has a spiritual guru, uses crystals,
06:58and is walking the wrong way.
07:01It's the wrong way!
07:02The other way!
07:03The other way up.
07:09I think that went well.
07:15Just one.
07:17Louly's here.
07:18If people are being funny around me, I'm going to just close my eyes
07:22and think of my fertility report.
07:25Last in, lock up your nannas.
07:27It's legendary Bob Mortimer.
07:29Wow!
07:30Everyone from our generation has been influenced by Bob.
07:33He's so funny.
07:34He's so brilliant.
07:36Hi, folks.
07:37Oh!
07:38Oh!
07:39Oh!
07:40Oh, look at it!
07:42Wow.
07:43Oh, Richard, thank you.
07:44Thank you so much.
07:45The only thing I can think of guaranteed to get a laugh
07:48is one of these.
07:49You know, it's old-fashioned.
07:52If you get your timing right, it can be devastating.
07:56You don't laugh so much, do you, Richard?
07:57I don't laugh a lot.
07:58But you were a problem, as you know.
08:02All right, well, that's all ten players.
08:04Time to start the game.
08:05It's exciting, isn't it?
08:06All right, here it goes.
08:09What a line-up.
08:11I mean, if this ten can't make you laugh, you are dead inside.
08:14Doors!
08:15Oh, who is it now?
08:17Oh!
08:18He's alive!
08:19He lives!
08:21Please, come join me on the sofas.
08:23Hello, everyone.
08:24Hello.
08:25Hello.
08:25Over there on the sofas, here are the rules.
08:28For the next six hours, you have to make each other laugh.
08:31You are not allowed to laugh.
08:33You're not allowed to giggle.
08:34You're not allowed to smile.
08:35I'm going to be watching everything in the control room.
08:38And don't even bother trying to hide a laugh.
08:40Do you look into what motivated the smile?
08:43Yes, we do look into that.
08:44That's all I wanted to know.
08:46That's fine.
08:47But smiling, come on.
08:49Smiling's like, it's...
08:50Polite.
08:51It's polite.
08:52No, OK, no, no, we just heard.
08:54Yeah, no, we're going to change the rules now,
08:55because you said that.
08:56What, is this class as a smile?
08:58Yeah, what is smile?
08:59Yeah, smile.
09:00What is a smile?
09:01Yeah, we need to define it.
09:02Jesus wept.
09:03I'm enjoying this.
09:05So, when's our normal teacher back?
09:11Oh, I would not last five minutes with you lot.
09:15All right, if you laugh at any point, you get a yellow card.
09:18If you laugh twice, you get a red card.
09:23You're out of the game.
09:25You've got to come and sit with me.
09:30Pretty worth digging in, isn't it?
09:33OK, you'll be doing everything you can to knock each other out of the game.
09:36I've got a couple of tricks up my sleeve as well.
09:38The game starts when you hear this noise.
09:47So, no laughing from that point.
09:49If you hear this noise, it means the game is paused,
09:56and while the game is paused, you can laugh.
09:58And can we develop photos?
10:03OK, the last player remaining is the winner,
10:05and they receive the coveted Last One Laughing trophy.
10:08Here's a small print.
10:09I reserve the right to change the rules as and when I see fit.
10:12Are you joking?
10:12Terms and conditions apply.
10:13Your home may be at risk if you don't keep up repayments.
10:16What?
10:16OK, does everyone understand the rules?
10:18Yes.
10:19All right.
10:19Well, good luck, everyone.
10:21I'll start the game when I go through.
10:26Doors.
10:26Wow.
10:27Look at that.
10:28I want that kind of power.
10:30He looks like AI.
10:32Like, he just walks.
10:32He does, doesn't he?
10:33Thunderbird.
10:34Right.
10:35I'm so excited.
10:36That walk didn't even seem real.
10:38Shall we?
10:39Yes.
10:40All right.
10:41OK, the game starts now.
10:46Last one to laugh wins.
10:48That's it.
10:49We're in play.
10:53Shall we go make a coffee?
10:55Tea.
10:56I feel like I can't move my body.
10:59If everyone's going, I might stay still for a bit.
11:06Shall we talk about something incredibly mundane?
11:09Yeah.
11:13Your kitchen?
11:15Rebecca!
11:16That's just his teeth.
11:17We can't knock him out for that.
11:18That's just the shape of his face.
11:20You've got a kitchen island?
11:22I think I need a moment.
11:26Yes.
11:36Look, well, that's a smirk.
11:37I don't mind a smirk.
11:39Smirks are lubes for laughs.
11:42Smirks are lubes for laughs.
11:45Why is everyone walking around as well?
11:47I think to get rid of energy or something, you know?
11:52One thing that I do a lot to sort of distract myself is sort of move.
11:57So I'll just sort of, I'll have to kind of pace or sort of do that thing with your legs
12:01where you just kind of go like that.
12:03I'm just, I'm trying to get energy out, you know?
12:04Well, don't do that.
12:05I'm going to try and exhaust myself.
12:07Are you exhausted yet?
12:09No.
12:10I don't actually find it is incredibly easy.
12:12You all right, Bob?
12:13Yeah?
12:14Yeah.
12:15My friend has got a little sausage dog, Bobby the Sausage Dog.
12:19I like sausage dogs with those tiny legs.
12:22OK, I'm going to have to head off.
12:23Because I think it's really outboard about him allergic to cats.
12:27They started talking about sausage dogs and, er...
12:30They're quite funny, aren't they?
12:32Bob mentioned the little legs and I had to go.
12:35You feel really rude, though, don't you?
12:37Having to get up and go.
12:40Did you watch Joe jog?
12:42Yeah, I've never seen him move like that.
12:45Difficult watch, isn't it?
12:48Richard, what are your hobbies?
12:50What do you enjoy doing?
12:51That's a kind question.
12:53Probably playing guitar.
12:55Now, I know you're thinking, could I become any more interesting?
12:59Do you have hobbies?
13:01Not particularly.
13:02I used to play a lot of PS5.
13:04OK.
13:05Have you ever played any of them?
13:06I've never played a video game.
13:09Really?
13:09Yeah.
13:10Not even a Game Boy?
13:12No.
13:13Because that's a video game.
13:14Second Mega Drive?
13:15A game leaves the video games.
13:17Oh, my goodness.
13:18So, what did you do growing up?
13:19I don't know.
13:20I cried a lot.
13:25That's not smiling.
13:26I'm trying to hold my face down, but that's not...
13:28Show me.
13:29No, don't do that for everyone else.
13:31No, no, no.
13:32No, no, no, no.
13:32Because he doing that is not...
13:34Christ.
13:36The size of that.
13:38There's more mouth.
13:40There's just more opportunity for it to move.
13:43Door.
13:44No.
13:45Is he shouting door?
13:47That wasn't a voice recognition.
13:48I saw the labourers behind those doors that are part of Jimmy's team.
13:52They'd go with them everywhere.
13:53And I wanted to see whether they knew his particular hollowed-out voice or whether it would apply with anyone.
14:00Door!
14:01Richard, don't!
14:03I just can't believe Richard can run.
14:06I don't know.
14:06It just doesn't...
14:07I'm picturing out jogging.
14:08I feel like his body's only capable of sort of this.
14:13It's the silence I can't deal with.
14:15If I keep talking, then maybe that'll help.
14:17It's the waiting for someone else to talk problem.
14:19And proximity, I find.
14:22So, I don't like this.
14:24I don't do that.
14:26See?
14:27It's horrible, isn't it?
14:29Are you dating at the minute?
14:31No.
14:31I feel like I'm in an era of, like, wanting to be single in power.
14:36Have you been on Raya yet?
14:38No.
14:39I haven't been on Raya.
14:40Did you ever go on Raya?
14:41I did go on Raya, but there were, like, art department people on there.
14:46Oh, my God.
14:49I'd like to take this moment to apologise to our art department,
14:52who have done a wonderful job.
14:53That's the dream, to get someone to the art department.
14:55I had nothing.
14:57Really?
14:57Like, absolutely nothing.
14:58Dry.
15:02Park 2D love.
15:03Sarah, Sarah's gone.
15:04All right, come on.
15:07Oh, no.
15:09So, what does this mean now?
15:11Someone's laughed.
15:12Someone's laughed.
15:13Yeah.
15:13I mean, they're literally not taking this seriously enough.
15:15Doors.
15:16Uh-oh.
15:17Now Jimmy Carr's here.
15:18Oh, dear.
15:18But now we are allowed to laugh.
15:20Jimmy Carr's here.
15:20Jimmy Carr's here.
15:21We can laugh and smile now, can we?
15:23Can't we?
15:23You can laugh and smile now, but you've been in here five minutes.
15:26Someone's already laughed.
15:28Who the hell did that?
15:29If ten comedians are in a room and no-one smiled, it's really quite sad.
15:33Yeah, it would be sad.
15:34This is our job, actually, Jimmy.
15:35OK, let's have a look at the action replay.
15:37I think it's me.
15:39Who's guilty of laughing?
15:40Not me.
15:41Did you ever go on Raya?
15:42I did go on Raya, but there were, like, art department people on there.
15:47Like, absolutely nothing.
15:48Dry.
15:50No!
15:51No, I know, I know, I know, I just heard that.
15:55It's Judy.
15:56What did I say?
15:57Judy?
15:58Are you blaming Judy?
15:59Judy's too funny.
16:00It made me laugh.
16:01What did that say?
16:02I love you all so much, but it's something so fucking funny.
16:05I'm going to restart the game.
16:07Doors.
16:10Sarah Pascoe.
16:11That's a very early laugh.
16:13She needs to up her game.
16:15So it's the first yellow card for Sarah, and my advice for her, I don't want to sound patronising,
16:20but try not to laugh.
16:22OK, let's restart the game.
16:25Oh, shit!
16:28Oh, God!
16:33Richard, do you want the details of my healer, because...
16:36What do they heal?
16:37The details of your healer.
16:39Yeah.
16:40As in, are you just going to describe the healer, or are you going to give me a contact?
16:43They're on Zoom.
16:44OK.
16:45They're being on Zoom is not a USP.
16:48I'm on Zoom.
16:49I mean, anyone can be on Zoom.
16:51The only person that's trying to actively catch out with Richard Ayoade, he's got, like,
16:55an armour of defence.
16:57This game is, like, brilliant for him.
16:59My friend works for Metro Rail.
17:01Now, tell me more about this person you know who has access to Zoom.
17:07She knows someone who can get on Zoom.
17:11I think this is a very good technique from loose honours.
17:14She's running away from Richard Ayoade.
17:16It's a compassionate, empathetic thing to laugh.
17:19I cannot hang out with Richard.
17:21He's a nightmare.
17:22I think he's the one to take out.
17:25But I don't think he would ever laugh at anything I...
17:27I think if I died, he might laugh.
17:29Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
17:32Do you know what you have to do?
17:33Get his guard down.
17:34Get his guard.
17:35Get his guard down and talk to him about something quite normal.
17:39Daisy Mae Cooper is being pretty quiet over there.
17:42Do you know what?
17:42I think we should get her to play her Joker.
17:44What does that mean?
17:45When they play their Joker, they've got to do a little performance
17:48and everyone has to watch.
17:50Let's go.
17:54Joe Lycett speaking.
17:56Hi, Joe.
17:57I would like, however, to speak to Daisy Mae Cooper.
18:01Daisy!
18:02Oh, what is it?
18:03Sam.
18:04Hello.
18:05Oh, hi, Daisy.
18:07I was wondering if you could play your Joker.
18:09OK.
18:10Go and prepare.
18:12Bye.
18:14She's going to make herself laugh.
18:16That's the real danger.
18:17She's BAFTA.
18:18She's BAFTA.
18:18She'll be able to hold her nerve.
18:21She is not to be messed with.
18:23PHONE RINGS
18:26Oh!
18:27Oh, it's a show.
18:28Oh, OK.
18:29OK, what's happening here?
18:31If everybody could gather round,
18:33we all love British roller coasters
18:36and we're just going to guess
18:38whether the re-enactment of this roller coaster
18:41that I'm about to do
18:43is either the dragon ride at Legoland
18:47or Nemesis at Alton Towers.
18:49Oh, great.
18:50OK.
18:51Do you know that one?
18:52Nemesis starts slow and then it's a big drop.
18:54Yeah.
18:55I am a trained actor,
18:57so I think I'm going to pull on all of those skills
18:59and go quite method with this.
19:02OK.
19:03Are you ready, everybody?
19:04Yeah.
19:25This is OK, this one.
19:32Look at her face.
19:41Oh, wow.
19:44Jesus Christ.
19:45This is very difficult not to laugh, Daisy.
19:47This is a very good bit.
19:49I'm struggling here, Daisy.
19:51I just want to let you know.
19:52Yeah.
19:59Jo Wilkinson's going to go.
20:21I can't look at her face.
20:23Look at Beckett.
20:25Oh.
20:27Oh.
20:30Oh.
20:31Oh.
20:33That feels Nemesis to me.
20:35Reminds me more of OnlyFans than Nemesis.
20:36Hold on.
20:37She's going to be sick.
20:38She's going to be sick.
20:38OK.
20:39Shall I get a bucket?
20:40Don't be sick.
20:41Please don't be sick.
20:41Oh, God.
20:42Oh, God.
20:42Oh, God.
20:42Sorry.
20:43I do feel a bit sick, yeah.
20:45At the moment, all I've got is a colander,
20:47but that's not going to help, is it?
20:50So they survived it.
20:52Well done, Daisy Mae.
20:53That was brilliant.
20:54Rob, I'd love to see your sensitive side.
20:56Yes, you're being very sensitive.
20:57Well, yeah, no.
20:58Well, if you're near a bucket and someone's being sick,
21:00what am I, a monster?
21:02Right.
21:02Fantastic.
21:03Yeah, well done.
21:04Well done.
21:05Put your hands up if you thought it was the dragon ride.
21:09No.
21:10No.
21:11So who thought Nemesis?
21:13Nemesis.
21:13Because you get a prize.
21:14I thought Nemesis, yeah.
21:15Oh, great.
21:15Take one.
21:16You can keep that.
21:17What is it?
21:18I managed to get through that literally by playing it as a game,
21:21and it was an exceptional performance of what it's like to be on Nemesis.
21:26You want a higher resolution image if you're going to sell these?
21:29Dragon ride or Nemesis?
21:30Dragon ride.
21:31Was I wrong?
21:33You were wrong.
21:34I didn't get a key ring, but I took Harriet's,
21:38because, I'll be honest, she was the smallest there.
21:47I think of you as Rob Beckett.
21:50I think...
21:51When I think of you, I never think of you as just Rob.
21:53Yeah.
21:54Let's go.
21:54Rob Beckett.
21:55You think of me as Rob Beckett rather than just Rob.
21:57Rather than just Rob.
21:58Don't I want to be Rob like Madonna or, you know, a mononym?
22:01Is that what it's called, a mononym?
22:03A mononym.
22:04Anthony.
22:05No, you're a waste not to use that one.
22:08LAUGHTER
22:09If you were doing stand-up, would you ever have Rob as the backdrop...
22:12..and jump through the O?
22:14No.
22:15I'd have Beckett.
22:16I'd have Rob Beckett.
22:17Not the O.
22:18I didn't like you jumping.
22:20Why not?
22:21I don't...
22:21I've never seen you move that quick.
22:23Everyone's walking away from me.
22:25It's like being back at school.
22:26Everyone wants to leave a conversation with me.
22:28But you can't just do it.
22:31It's not right.
22:31If you're saying, I'm going to leave this conversation,
22:33I'm free to follow you and I'm free to hunt you down.
22:35I feel like we have a spiritual connection.
22:38I just feel like you've got a good aura.
22:41And I do feel like I've got a good aura.
22:43You spend a lot of money on that, though.
22:44I hold my hands up high.
22:46I do spend a lot of money on spiritual clearing.
22:48How much can you spend on it?
22:51He does walk away from me.
22:53He does have to walk away, yeah.
22:58The fruit machine is now available for inspiration.
23:01Just pull the lever and follow the prompts.
23:09Secret celebrity crush.
23:10Uh-oh, everyone's going to say me.
23:13Secret celebrity crush.
23:15Boudica.
23:16Richard.
23:17I don't even know who Boudica is.
23:18You don't know who Boudica is?
23:20Boudica, they used to pronounce it.
23:21I call her Boudica.
23:22Say her name, Boudica.
23:23Who is Boudica?
23:24Sarah.
23:24She was a registrant of Essex, the Iceni tribe.
23:27Her husband died.
23:29And then the Romans tried to take control.
23:30So this is when?
23:32Uh, you know, B.C.
23:33B.C.
23:34B.C.
23:34B.C.
23:35Is it meant to generate conversation?
23:37Yeah.
23:38Do you know what?
23:38It's really awkward when you say something really loud to them and don't laugh.
23:42But when you say something and you wiggle your little tush and no one laughs, it's so awkward.
23:49Oh, you bastard.
23:50Oh, you bastard.
23:54Joe, because he's got that beard.
23:56He's got a laugh shield.
23:58No beards next time.
23:59What?
24:00Have you got a defence?
24:01Have you got a thing to stop you giggling?
24:04What is going on here, then?
24:06What are you talking about?
24:08Because all I saw was sort of Bob putting a finger in his mouth seductively.
24:11I've got entirely implanted teeth.
24:14Yeah.
24:14Really?
24:15Sorry, apart from the mucky ones, which are the top sole and then the back.
24:20I was going to say the bottom ones are not so good.
24:23Bob, Bob, Bob just did a big laugh.
24:25There it is.
24:28Oh, God.
24:29What's happening?
24:30What's happening now?
24:30Oh, Jesus.
24:31Who laughed?
24:32I think that was me.
24:33I think I messed Joe up.
24:35Jaws.
24:37Oh, Jimmy's here.
24:38Jimmy's here.
24:39Someone's in trouble again.
24:41Well, a couple of things, right?
24:42A couple of things.
24:43Guys, if it says secret celebrity crush, what we don't want is a five-minute conversation
24:47about Bo De Sia.
24:50It's not time team, Sarah Pascoe, I'm looking at you.
24:54What?
24:54Okay, we've got another card.
24:56You're looking at me.
24:57Let's see what happened.
24:58Oh, my God.
24:59We are bad at this game.
25:00I've got entirely implanted teeth.
25:03Look, really?
25:04The top sole and then the back.
25:05I was going to say the bottom ones.
25:07I was like, what did you...
25:10Oh, Bob.
25:13There's nothing the matter with having fake teeth.
25:18This is tough.
25:20While I've got you, we've had another laugh.
25:23Two laughs.
25:24That's a Jimmy car gig.
25:26Stop it, you.
25:27Take a look.
25:28Do you know what?
25:29It's really awkward when you say something really loud to them and don't laugh.
25:32And you wiggle your little tush and no one laughs.
25:35It's so awkward.
25:37Oh, you bastard.
25:44Oh, my God.
25:46Well, what do you expect?
25:48What's that?
25:49Lou is a nightmare.
25:50Yeah, Lou is a nightmare.
25:51Lou is a nightmare.
25:53I'm so sorry.
25:54Lou and Richard Awaddy, very aggressive play, I would say.
25:57But I love Joe and I'm very sad about this yellow card business.
26:00I'm fuming.
26:01OK, I'll go and restart the game.
26:03Door.
26:05Hi, Awaddy.
26:06Get back in there.
26:08He does it so well as well.
26:11Nearly.
26:12Nearly.
26:14So that's three yellow cards already.
26:17I have no idea how we're going to get six shows out of this.
26:19At this rate, it's going to be over by lunchtime.
26:21This is so hard.
26:23Son of a gun.
26:24OK, let's restart.
26:28Oh, my God.
26:32Who's your celebrity crush?
26:35Theresa May.
26:37Who's yours?
26:39Jimmy.
26:40When he comes, I can't even look at him when he comes out.
26:43What is it about his body?
26:45It's like a sort of really smart, and I think he's a genius.
26:51That was a massive motivation, as to try and stay in the house for as long as I could,
26:57so that I didn't have to sit next to him in the room, because I'd just be blushing.
27:00Just so...
27:01Oh, my God.
27:02Yeah, he's just gorgeous.
27:05Is that a break?
27:06OK, everyone.
27:07Oh, Jimmy's on the telly.
27:09When the bell rings, gather on the sofas.
27:11Everyone, it's time for a head-to-head challenge.
27:13Joe Lycett, Lou Sanders, you two seem to be getting on great, so this should be easy.
27:17You just need to take it in turns to give each other compliments, and you must maintain
27:22eye contact at all times.
27:25No, that's not fair.
27:27The game starts and ends when the bell rings, so please take your seats on the stage.
27:32Everyone else, watch from the sofas.
27:34Good luck, good luck.
27:34You're both amazing.
27:36Good luck, Joe.
27:37Ready?
27:37We're fucked.
27:38Joe, this is...
27:39Oh, don't!
27:41Joe, the shoes are big, mate.
27:43I've got to say.
27:44That's really hard to do.
27:45It's physical comedy.
27:46I'm just going to get a drink.
27:48They didn't say look each other in the eye.
27:49Did they say look each other in the eye?
27:52OK, you must compliment each other whilst looking at each other in the eyes.
27:57The game starts now.
27:59I'll start, I'll start.
28:00I think you're, um, really funny.
28:03You're like a sunset.
28:04You're full of light.
28:05And I can see you going down on me at 7pm.
28:11Depending on what time of year it is.
28:13Yes, depending on if it's summer or autumn or...
28:15You could wait till 8pm.
28:18If you can hold it.
28:22Have you got a compliment for me?
28:24You're fit as fuck.
28:25Oh, that's lovely.
28:26I'd give you one.
28:28Can't hear you.
28:29You're like a flower in that you're full of yeast because you went down on me at 7pm.
28:38That's really beautiful.
28:40I've learnt a lot from you.
28:41One of the things I learnt from you is that you don't need to chop vegetables because when I stayed
28:48with you once I just watched you tear a pepper apart with your fists and put it into a, I
28:54think it was like some sort of casserole.
28:56And, um, I thought, do you know what?
28:58Why not?
28:59Who needs things to be neatly sliced?
29:06Do you know what I learnt from you?
29:10Well, casserole got your tongue, has it?
29:14You could do a shit so big that my boyfriend at the time.
29:22You fucker.
29:24There it is.
29:24I'm pressing the red button.
29:27I know some people laugh.
29:30Doors.
29:32Oh, God.
29:33Oh, dear.
29:34Oh, that's a lovely welcome.
29:35Don't look at me like that.
29:36OK, well, we've had another yellow card.
29:39Oh.
29:39A yellow card.
29:40A yellow card.
29:41Let's have a look.
29:41Oh, this is bleak.
29:43You could do a shit so big that my boyfriend at the time...
29:48Oh!
29:49I was crying.
29:50That's...
29:51I'm upset.
29:51No!
29:52You bastard.
29:54OK, so...
29:55Wow.
29:55We've got another yellow card.
29:57Ooh.
29:57I think it might be me.
29:59Take a look.
29:59When I stayed with you once, I just watched you tear a pepper apart with your fists.
30:05I thought, do you know what?
30:06Why not?
30:07Who needs things to be neatly sliced?
30:11Oh!
30:12Oh!
30:15Oh, that's hard.
30:16Fair enough.
30:17I did laugh.
30:17Yeah.
30:18OK, so, Sarah, you've got a yellow card.
30:20Joe, you've got a yellow card.
30:22Rob, yellow card.
30:23Joe, yellow card.
30:24Bob, yellow card.
30:26Oh, no.
30:27Oh, this...
30:28Oh, my God.
30:29Damn it.
30:29Son of a gun.
30:30He's looking at me.
30:31That's our first red card.
30:34Oh, dear.
30:36Oh, no.
30:43That's like being tortured.
30:45Don't lick me.
30:46I'm Jamaican.
30:49When is it going to stop?
30:51I'm just one woman.
30:52You have chlamydia.
30:53I didn't give consent for that.
30:54Meats and cheeses.
30:55Always pleases.
30:56I want to see Richard Ayewaldi crack.
30:58That, for me, is good television.
31:01Jimmy's an absolute piece of shit.
31:03I'm just disappointed.
31:04Oh, no!
31:05Oh, dear.
31:06We've gone mad.
31:07Shh.
31:08Oh.
31:12Oh, shit.
31:13Oh, my God.
31:15Oh, my God.
31:15It was a straight kill shot,
31:17and that was that.
31:19Oh, my God.
31:21Oh, my God.
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