Drawing MORE Stuff I Saw On Tubi

Trench Gremlin

This time it's actual full movies. Writing and drawing for this was fun enough to make up for watching the worst movies ever!   First One: https://dai.ly/xa1p6ga   The Store: https://trench-gremlin-shop.fourthwall.com    Accounts on other sites:   https://trenchgremlin.newgrounds.com   https://vimeo.com/trenchgremlin   My Socials I Barely Use:  One of them: https://bsky.app/profile/trenchgremlin  The other one: https://x.com/trench_gremlin?s=2

Transcript

00:02yeah all right that's good enough all right i'm gonna try this again but with actually

00:08reviewing movies this time and i'm good at movies i'll have you know i know the bestest movies in

00:15the west that you need to see first off we're talking about master disguise master of disguise

00:21was produced by happy madison productions apparently i think that's something i should

00:26have just assumed when i first heard about this because it makes perfect sense follows pistachio

00:32disguisey i already regret this his bloodline inherently has the ability to

00:38the perfectly impersonate antibody that's what the master of disguise 2002 is is that an italian

00:46accent because they're supposed to be italian i don't think that was but instead of being the

00:51master of disguise 2002 he works with his parents in their italian restaurant and his dad's all like

00:57there'll be no master of disguise 2002-ing for you my darling boy only pasta-ing but the parents are

01:05kidnapped by a villain guy i already forgot his name and i finished watching this like five minutes ago

01:10as of writing the script he makes the dad use his disguise powers to steal important stuff like the

01:16constitution it's just an excuse for celebrity cameos because he can impersonate them some of

01:22them include magic johnson and jesse ventura yeah so it's up to pistachio to learn how to be a master

01:29of disguise from his grandpa and go save his parents and all that like historical stuff they're stealing

01:36but mostly his parents this isn't the worst thing ever it's just kind of boring this kind of movie

01:41rides or dies on how funny it is and i didn't think this was that funny pistachio himself gets

01:48pretty annoying at parts like a lot of the chase and fight scenes get ruined because the whole time

01:52he's going oh no oh no he's not as charming as they want him to be because he kind of

02:00looks like tom

02:00green and andy dick combined and you don't want to look like tom green and andy dick combined but at

02:07the very least i think the movie's self-aware no one really has any patience for his bullshit and

02:12that's the highlight of the movie everyone knows all the shit with the turtle club and how he had to

02:17watch the twin towers fall down in that costume the real best part of that is how everyone's response

02:22to that bit is just it is that guy okay uh his love interest is the most generic 90s to

02:29early 2000s

02:30woman you could possibly conceive of but i don't care i would absolutely hold her hand on the swing set

02:36will we discuss our hopes for the future climax involves a black market auction and keenan thompson

02:42is there just watching the live stream of it in his mansion that's something he does the dog skateboards

02:47does brown face or the dana carvey's character does brown face not the dog very cool uh the post

02:55credit scene is him chasing bald mario down the street i got this ad while watching it that had

03:00ryan reynolds and they did his hair like this masters of disguise not quite turtly enough for the turtle

03:06club i'm sorry five out of ten not four yeah four feels too harsh but five feels too nice what

03:14am i

03:14supposed to do the fuck you could do that since when i saw a movie on there called ratpocalypse

03:23and you know how can i say no to that title and after watching it oh

03:34i didn't choose to watch this it shows me it is my destiny in life to tell you about this

03:40movie

03:41right off the bat this starts off with a shirtless guy washing up on the famed tourist attraction

03:46shitty cgi rat island i call it that you know just because it it just seems like a fun name

03:53but coincidentally it is filled with shitty cgi rats they just come up to the dude out of curiosity

04:00and his first instinct is to start kicking the shit out of them no this does not remind me of

04:05anyone in

04:05particular why do you ask but it turns out that's his recurring dream he has he's like oh mildly

04:11attractive british wife the rats are gonna get me the president of fucking russia asked me to give

04:17a speech there i'm gonna go talk about how this ratastrophe has me rattled and then she's all like

04:22hey why didn't they call this movie ratastrophe that's a way better title also what he's a u.s

04:30senator that's why you can go do that also i'm calling him rattrick and the wife rattricia because i

04:36refuse to learn the names of anybody in this movie all right so rattrick's speech is about how god told

04:42him that if political corruption continues everyone responsible for it will get smited with a rat curse

04:48and turn into a rat it's that old cliche where the character just can't fathom how insane what they're

04:53saying sounds to anyone not in the know and then they have the gall to be like why doesn't anyone

04:58believe the schizo babble i just threw out i thought it was common knowledge and that's the final

05:05straw for rattricia she leaves him and for some reason she's in charge of his credit card so she

05:10can just cancel it and strand him in russia but it turns out oh no we're all turning into rat

05:16human

05:16hybrids i guess rattrick was like half right i must be the constitution circa 1788 because i've just been

05:24ratified

05:35so the point of all that is that i thought that joke was really funny and for some reason

05:40everyone's consensus across the whole world is that rattrick's the one who did this with his

05:44rat dark magic i guess because his name's rattrick they're all like ah we should have guessed he'd do

05:50this at some point so there's a bounty on him and he has to team up with these two russian

05:54girls i

05:55want to fuck him rattly and rat spootin to stop the ratastrophe from ratuitously ratifying everyone

06:01trapped in the rat race i'm not gonna stop making those puns even if i get ratted out for all

06:06the

06:06rat sacking and wire fraud i've committed this is who i am and i'll only stop if i'm fed rat

06:12poison

06:13because you know i mean i die if i drink that it's poison that's kind of what it does i'm

06:19not sure if

06:19this movie would be a good ironic watch for anyone or if it's for me it's just the only place

06:24brain

06:24rot where i think rats are inherently funny that carried it it does have like funnily bad effects

06:30for all the rat stuff it reminds me a lot of like the animated stuff in the nostalgia critic wall

06:35review remember that and there's just a ridiculous factor of all of it but it gets annoying because

06:40it seems like the movie itself isn't sure if rattrick actually did curse everyone with his rat magic or

06:46there is a rat god doing it at least that's how they write it like one second they'll have him

06:50accept blame for the world falling apart even though all he did was just warn people it would

06:55happen they introduce like 50 characters all with their own subplots a lot of them are interchangeable

07:01with each other and they don't really know how to balance any of it so you'll go like 20 minutes

07:05without ever seeing rat trisha or the president character others will just completely disappear with

07:11no proper send-off they're just forgotten like rat spooten is like the third main character and she

07:17leaves so does the president again and i think this might get a little too heavy for a movie called

07:24ratastrophe i mean it should have gone without saying that i'm gonna spoil all the movies i'm talking

07:29about to some extent and you should go watch them on your own if you care but two different rat

07:34people cannot stress enough rat people kill themselves over this whole shit and the third human girl

07:41also tries you but they're able to stop her and it's over the goddamn ratastrophe it might lose its

07:47impact after that point but what do i know and there's also two back-to-back parts where characters

07:53almost get sexually assaulted that's in here it seems like they want to be like sincere but a lot of

07:59these like emotional beats and their little political messaging they want to throw in it it adds up just

08:03adding to all the insanity because of what this is you might find that tasteless you might find it like

08:08morbidly funny depending on who you are i don't know but you at least need to see the ending that

08:14is insane i don't want to spoil too much of it but it genuinely feels like they had to just

08:20stop

08:20everything because they were running out of budget and with this movie that is genuinely plausible i

08:25think there's like an 80 chance that's what happened i'm giving ratastrophe a three-headed rat king out

08:31of 10 i typed rat trick and ratastrophe so much in my script that my phone now includes those as

08:37actual words in the autofill all right that was a lot of ratastrophe talk so let's end on something

08:43shorter uh mario super show's on here let's talk about mama luigi i'm pulling this shit again it's

08:49just an origin story about how luigi found yoshi as a baby how he helped him defeat boss were and

08:55save

08:55princess peach stool that's all there really is to the plot but like when i talked about dover boys

09:01in the first video every other line in here got turned into a meme which you probably know already

09:06what's something new we can say about this uh you know what no one really talks about how fucking

09:13grading yoshi's voice is here it's like oh yoshi doesn't want to go to bed

09:19oh my god oh my god dude someone got paid to just do that for like 13 episodes holy shit

09:26and i also like i mean i know pointing out how weird mario's world is as a dead horse territory

09:32but

09:32i just love how this show will just go like oh shit football players kidnapped the princess

09:39then a wizard stole mario now there's a fat ass bullet coming all the humanity and you just get

09:45no time to even process any of that that that's all i got if you're not air nut poison this

09:52is

09:52just bog standard 90s saturday morning garbage i can't even tell you to like watch something good

09:58instead because i can't talk i watched master of disguise and ratastrophe over the course of one day

10:04this gets five coney island disco palaces out of 10 bye

10:09bye

10:09you

10:10you

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