00:00All right, time to dredge up another school project I made so I don't have to come up with a
00:05new idea.
00:07This one is from when I was in 10th grade, so it's from like 2020, and that's when he read
00:12Macbeth in English class.
00:14And one of our projects was to do some kind of artistic endeavor with it.
00:19I think you could have written a song, done a live-action skit, or done what I chose to do,
00:24make a children's book,
00:25which means you've got to find some kind of replacement for all the murder and whatnot.
00:30So here's mine. We'll pull it open so you can see a nice little picture on the right, but we
00:39go over here on the left.
00:41That was me just testing what colors would look like on the paper, but notice no words, no kind of
00:49script to try and describe what that is.
00:52So that's right. I didn't write anything I was coming up with down.
00:57So when I went to present all of this to class, I just went up and just ad-lib bullshit.
01:07So we'll pull through here.
01:09I like how you can slowly see the art style just devolve.
01:14Like it started, I was like trying, and then it just devolves into like weird bootleg home movies, people like
01:22that.
01:23Look at that.
01:23And then we end on that shit.
01:28So now I got to try and remember what the fuck any of this even was.
01:32I have to like go back and read the actual book.
01:37So, here it is.
01:41Macbeth, stupid baby edition.
01:44Ugh!
01:45By Chief David, age 15, because my mom remarried since I made the snake story.
01:50Back in...
01:52Ah, shit.
01:52This one's actually confirmed to take place in the Middle Ages.
01:55I can't make a funny joke date this time.
01:58You know what? Fuck it.
02:00Back before the Big Bang Theory premiered on television 14 billion years ago, Macbeth was Scotland's main man.
02:08Everyone loved him and there was this one guy who would like steal locks of his hair sometimes.
02:13Look, the son loves him too.
02:14And also partakes in stealing his hair.
02:17Jesus.
02:18One day, Macbeth and his friend Banquo were frolicking when they were visited by three witches.
02:24Oh, don't they look familiar?
02:26They were like, yo, gee, I was looking at Instagram reels.
02:29And between all the stuff that they just stole from LiveLeak, there was one that said, you're gonna be the
02:34king, like, eventually.
02:36And Macbeth was like, yeah, right.
02:38But then the thane of Ross came, his friends call him thane Gillis.
02:42And he said, you're thane of Cawdor now.
02:45We could be thane buddies.
02:48Yeah, sure, buddy.
02:51No.
02:52I'm not gonna do that.
02:53No.
02:54Macbeth went and told the good news to his beautiful, smoking vixen of a wife.
03:00Oh, God.
03:01And she grabbed him by the neck and said, dog, just go get rid of the king.
03:05Then you can be king, like, now.
03:08Okay.
03:10So we got King Duncan sent off to the land of sweets and sugars.
03:14Which doesn't sound so bad, but Duncan had type 1 and 2 diabetes.
03:19So he couldn't touch any of that delectable scrumptious candy unless he wanted to lose his other foot, too.
03:25Macbeth just kind of got bored of Banquo, I guess.
03:28So he sent him off to the land of hot babes.
03:32Wait, I thought this was supposed to be a kid's book.
03:34What?
03:35And that doesn't sound so bad either, but said hot babes were just a bunch of gold diggers.
03:40And Banquo didn't really have a whole lot of money, so they didn't even give him the time of day.
03:45Now, if I wasn't horribly butchering the story and leaving out whole sections of it, just for the sake of
03:51not having to draw as much.
03:52Which, to be fair, that much coloring strains the fuck out of your wrists, alright?
03:57Uh, then you would have heard about this guy, Macduff.
04:00Uh, they actually established him as a character in the original story.
04:03But, uh, he took one look at Macbeth's horrible fashion sense and came to the conclusion that, yeah, this guy
04:09is not really rightful royalty.
04:11And he wasn't gonna take that sitting down.
04:14So he stood up.
04:17So he challenged Macbeth to a game of rock, paper, scissors.
04:20Winner got to be the king.
04:26Nope, two out of three, two out of three.
04:29Ha, gun beats everything.
04:32Nope, dude, come on, don't be that guy.
04:37I win.
04:48You done, bitch boy?
04:58I didn't even want to be the king.
05:00Be the king's king!
05:03So Macbeth was ousted as king and took a nap on the floor.
05:08That's what this is.
05:09He didn't die.
05:10And then Shakespeare came back from the dead and kicked me in the balls for doing all that to his
05:14story.
05:14And that's why I can't have children.
05:17The end.
05:18And that's why I can't have children.
05:21And that's why I can't have children.
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