- 2 hours ago
First broadcast 10th October 1991.
Having given up smoking and drinking on doctor's orders an already nervy Arthur is not helped when 'Mad' Benny McLeish, a truculent dissatisfied customer, threatens violence unless he gets a refund.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Nicholas Day - D.S. Morley
Stephen Tompkinson - D.C. Park
Andrew McCulloch - Benny McLeish
Terrence Hardiman - Dr. Hardman
Roger Brierley - Donald
Joanna Wake - Receptionist
Michael Watkins - Man in Cafe
Keith Osborn - Policeman
Faith Edwards - Check-Out Girl
Christopher Mitchell - Customer in Winchester
Fidel Nanton - Builder
Arthur Whybrow - Landlord
Tony Alleff - Cafe Worker
Jerry Baker - Policeman
Gary Dean - Winchester Club Patron
Salo Gardner - Cafe Patron
Ridgewell Hawkes - Heavy
Terry Sach - Policeman
Harry Van Engel - Winchester Club Patron
Tom Weldin - Winchester Club Patron
Fred Wood - Cafe Patron
Having given up smoking and drinking on doctor's orders an already nervy Arthur is not helped when 'Mad' Benny McLeish, a truculent dissatisfied customer, threatens violence unless he gets a refund.
George Cole - Arthur
Gary Webster - Ray
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Nicholas Day - D.S. Morley
Stephen Tompkinson - D.C. Park
Andrew McCulloch - Benny McLeish
Terrence Hardiman - Dr. Hardman
Roger Brierley - Donald
Joanna Wake - Receptionist
Michael Watkins - Man in Cafe
Keith Osborn - Policeman
Faith Edwards - Check-Out Girl
Christopher Mitchell - Customer in Winchester
Fidel Nanton - Builder
Arthur Whybrow - Landlord
Tony Alleff - Cafe Worker
Jerry Baker - Policeman
Gary Dean - Winchester Club Patron
Salo Gardner - Cafe Patron
Ridgewell Hawkes - Heavy
Terry Sach - Policeman
Harry Van Engel - Winchester Club Patron
Tom Weldin - Winchester Club Patron
Fred Wood - Cafe Patron
Category
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TVTranscript
00:08the door's unlocked what time is it 11 15 dead on I'll wait for you here you see
00:19you do I just said I will well I'll be off
00:27you'll be late don't rush me
00:33bong bong bong ask not for whom the bell tolls your sense of humor can be very tasteless at times
00:41Raymond I'm gaining it is today definitely mr. Daly we've been looking for you dr. Hardman's been
01:04passing I'm feeling too good myself is it do you drink very much mr. Daly excuse me your drinking
01:23habits would you say that you were a heavy drinker or do you tend to drink only socially socially
01:31hello I must admit I'm a very social person really well the nature of my work entrepreneurial I have
01:38to conduct a lot of my business informally dinner parties soirees that sort of thing so you'd say
01:44that you probably drank more than the recommended weekly limit which is a couple of glasses of wine a
01:50day or a couple of whiskies if I'm busy maybe maybe a little bit more smoke no thank you I
02:00just put one
02:00out how many do you smoke oh one two cigars a day that's very odd oh my god how long
02:17although you haven't got an ulcer your stomach is extremely inflamed that's what's been causing the
02:21pain you're actually very strong but if you keep abusing your body in the way that I suspect you are
02:28then an ulcer can't be far away and if that happens then surgery may be the only answer surgery I'm
02:36going
02:36to give you a course of tablets and I want you to stop smoking and drinking at least for a
02:42couple
02:42of months till things settle down well completely that's usually what I mean when I say stop oh there's
02:48a diet sheet avoid all fatty and fried foods try and get plenty of relaxation soon I'll be back in
02:57the pink
02:58yeah with respect doctor enjoying a quiet smoke and a drink while I'm winding in front of a roaring
03:03fire is exactly what I do to relax don't worry that's just habit you'll soon find something else
03:08to do with your hands and as you say isn't as if you're a heavy drinker you look terrible Arthur
03:27is it bad
03:30news the worst I must say I'm impressed I didn't know you had it in you that's just a matter
03:39of
03:39willpower Dave you know I must admit until all this happened I didn't realize just what sort of pressure
03:44the modern executive has to operate under the right he said the doctor told you it was tobacco and booze
03:50that was stitching you right he doesn't understand oh talking to Ray if you see him before I do would
03:55you remind him he starts mind in one of my properties tonight problems no one of my tenants
04:00turned out to be more upwardly mobile and I gave him credit for done a runner earn a month's rent
04:04I thought you always charged three months up front technicality Dave are you worried about the
04:09break-ins oh well what could be more tempting than one plush unattended des res
04:20do you sell much of this yeah it's very popular comes from France yeah so does rabies look give us
04:27a
04:27tomato juice lots of Worcester sauce are you sure about it Arthur very spicy this Worcester no no
04:33that's all right you know I think this should be obligatory every few months give the fabric a
04:39chance to recover from the indecent pounding that we give it how long have you been off it um five
04:46hours 27 minutes and I feel fine
05:11I'm sure there used to be a road through here once
05:22so where is he then I told you I don't know he's usually here by now well when he gets
05:26back tell
05:27him mr. McLeish called and tell him I'll be expecting to hear from him very soon he knows what
05:31it's all about I'm gonna have to take it down right mr. Mc what McLeish please well I just spelled
05:41it is that a big M small C or what are you trying to upset me oh I've got a
05:45terrible memory I didn't
05:47sleep too well last night either by the time mr. Daly turns out I've probably forgotten half of this
05:51now what was it about mr. McLeish that's what it's about and the other 73 tens he's sell me
06:12yeah hang on tell him I'll return the lot personally when I get my money back
06:38come on come on get the gates up
06:44don't you start getting aggressive with me
07:02Arthur you ain't gonna believe this but some mad Scotsman Arthur
07:13I've sold them
07:15my best of Anna's after what you said yesterday about giving you the support to see it through
07:19those were the utterances of a man he's shock give me a drink well that went as well sort of
07:24a package
07:25you're not a bad little earner it's all in a cash tray Raymond I suddenly feel very peculiar
07:30yeah I'm not feeling on top of the world myself well that flat I'm not staying her another night
07:34oh can't you see I'm a man on the bridge don't you think I've got enough problems well it's hardly
07:39the hilton no one's gonna nick anything look those things may not be to your taste but there's
07:42many a discerning crook would disagree with you Arthur there are penicillin experiments happening
07:47in the sink the shag pole moves of its own accord why don't you just let me lock it up
07:51I've got the
07:51only key you've got the only key bar the one my last tenant absconded with the market's probably
07:56been flooded with duplicates even now all right all right well long I should have the locks changed
08:01by Wednesday Wednesday quicker if you work faster me yes look have we got any of those boxes of
08:08liqueur chocolates that we had last Christmas Arthur sit down and relax Arthur I'm gonna make a cup of tea
08:16I'll have mine in the glass with ice and a slice what are you washing the walls for
08:23mr. MacLeish called round for you earlier and threw paint all over him he's done what yeah he said
08:28they dropped the rest of the paint round once you'd given him a refund I hope you disabused him
08:34you're joking he was loving paint all over the place what does he think he is go to the man
08:42hello this is mr. Arthur Daly could I speak to mr. MacLeish thank you mr. MacLeish this is mr.
08:50Arthur Daly now about this paint you you'll have to speak slower I missed most of that yes that's quite
09:02clear now now what is the problem with the color but that is royal blue no no no no no
09:09you're thinking
09:10of English royal blue what you bought is Spanish royal blue King Carlos has it slapped all over his
09:16palace well I'm very sorry it looks like that but that paint was bought as seen I do not give
09:21refunds
09:22goodbye never stick your nose in a tin of paint and think that's the color it all changes as soon
09:27as
09:27he air it's it all sorted he's building her old folks home says that paint makes it look like a
09:32brothel threatened all sorts of things what you're gonna do with it then learn my lesson never do
09:38business from ESA I was told he was kosher the man's obviously a complete crook what a morning come
09:43come on lunch break it's only 11 o'clock
09:59Oi they are bad for you they repeat that wouldn't be the only thing that's done that this morning
10:04all I am saying is they don't call him mad Benny for nothing Dave all the info you have given
10:10me thus far on
10:11Benny McLeish he's about as reliable as his national football team all I said was he pays top cash for
10:16the right gear but I also told you we've got a temper he did a few months in the neck
10:20a while back
10:20what for GBH with a spare wheel of a dormobile mind you he's very good with our sessions people he
10:28falls out with look I've met tougher nuts than Benny McLeish I'm not gonna start earning from my
10:32principles just because he threatens me as long as it is only threats
10:56like visiting St Peter's and not banging off a couple of El Marys what is coming in and not having
11:02a drink
11:02you often are yeah same again please listen all that stuff about Benny turning nasty you've never
11:08actually met him have you no no but there you are you see people exaggerate things get blown up all
11:12out of proportion my source was reliable who's that Pete Hughes psycho Pete yeah Pete they'll never
11:20take me alive use he reckoned Benny was our man it will start to get easier I think you're doing
11:32really well no way said the first 48 hours are the worst
11:45what you trying to do kill someone
11:56I think you're overreacting you heard what Dave said Benny's got a reputation
12:01oh it's a coincidence well think about it he's not gonna kill you for just a few tins of dodgy
12:05paint
12:06is he there was inches in it it's just a strain of you trying to keep off the booze and
12:09cigars
12:10it's making you imagine things I did not imagine several tons of diesel trying to part my hair
12:15and just drink your cough it's a bit caffeinated by the way we'll just drink it and I'll go and
12:21see if
12:21the garage is finished having a look at that steering together hey you're gonna be all right
12:26just remember what the doc said to you relax
12:28thanks
13:05thanks
13:20thanks
13:21thanks
13:22thanks
13:22thanks
13:23thanks
13:41What do we know?
13:42Gah!
13:43Gah!
13:45Gah!
13:46Oh.
13:49Sit down.
13:50You'll be OK.
13:52What source coming?
13:53Eh?
13:53Oh.
13:54What?
13:54I've never seen him.
13:55Here you go, honey.
13:55Please.
13:56Give me a hug.
13:58It's great.
14:00You all right?
14:00You do.
14:01Sit there.
14:04You're all right?
14:05Are you sure you're all right?
14:06Yeah.
14:07Good.
14:21Don't look round.
14:22Arthur, what?
14:23I said don't look round.
14:24Drive normally.
14:25Head for the Winchester.
14:26What's the problem?
14:27One of Benny's men attacked me.
14:28Are you injured?
14:29No, no, no.
14:30I've fought him off.
14:35Look at me.
14:35I'm a nervous wreck.
14:36I'd better have a stiff brandy before I start palpitating.
14:39Arthur, sit down and relax.
14:42You've got to get a grip, Arthur.
14:44You're behaving deranged.
14:45Look, I'm denied all normal forms of sustenance and someone's trying to kill me.
14:48Is it any wonder?
14:49A woman award you in a cafe does not constitute attempted murder.
14:52You did not see the look in his eyes.
14:53Dave, you try and convince him.
14:55It's all in his mind.
14:56I need the loot.
14:57And I'll take that with me.
15:00Ray's right, Arthur.
15:01I mean, Benny may be a bit nasty, but I don't think he'll try and do yet.
15:04Oh, my God.
15:05Dave, what?
15:06Dave, look, I'm stills.
15:07What?
15:07A bloke with crushes.
15:09What about him?
15:09Edward Fox.
15:10Never.
15:11They had a jackal.
15:12He had a gun in his crushes.
15:14He was going to assassinate some French geezer.
15:16He's got a pot on his leg.
15:20He's looking for me.
15:25Oh, my God, I'm doing something about him.
15:27What?
15:28Sort him out!
15:36On the arse.
15:37Oh, thanks.
15:38Yeah, well, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'd appreciate it if you'd let me put your crushes outside.
15:45You what?
15:46Normally, they wouldn't be a problem, but you see, it's my friend.
15:52He's driving me mad.
15:55And there are the lawbreakers, and when the lawbreakers break the law, we arrest them.
15:59It's perfect.
16:00But then God created Arthur Daly, and everything got blurred.
16:04Desk Sergeant said he had some information for us.
16:07Could be genuine.
16:08You college boys, always prepared to believe the best of people.
16:10Santa Molly, there's a call for you.
16:15They are quite safe, these places, aren't they?
16:17Sir?
16:19Well, you know them stories about bands of armed vigilantes storming police stations
16:24and taking terrible liberties with people inside?
16:26That only happens in America, sir.
16:36Come on.
16:38Ah, is that Mr. Morley?
16:42Yeah, it's, um, it's Ray.
16:47Raymond Daly.
16:48Raymond Daly.
16:52How thick are these walls?
16:54Haven't a clue, sir?
16:55Thick enough, say, to stop a runaway juggernaut.
16:59We haven't had that many cases of runaway juggernauts crashing through the station, sir,
17:03so I wouldn't know.
17:04No need to take that tone of voice from me, young man.
17:07Oh, a little bit on edge, aren't you?
17:10Here.
17:11How's your smoke?
17:16I'm having a vision.
17:18Oh.
17:20Oh, I'll never forget this.
17:22Oh, T743.
17:25Sarge?
17:25That was Daly's nephew.
17:27Can we keep an eye out for his uncle Arthur, who's not been seen since he legged it from the
17:31Winchester and the disturbed state this lunchtime?
17:34Apparently he's come over all funny on account of his enforced abstinence from the weed and the vodka.
17:39Sarge?
17:41He's having withdrawal symptoms.
17:43No light?
17:44No.
17:45No light?
17:46No, I don't have any matches.
17:47They've done this deliberately, didn't they?
17:48No.
17:49They put you in to put me through an emotional angle.
17:51So I'll tell them all I know.
17:52Sir, you came to us.
17:57Can't you go and get a light?
17:59I'm not allowed to leave you.
18:02Can't we find two bits of wood to rub together?
18:06Just in the nick of time.
18:08What you doing?
18:08I've just been talking to you, Raymond.
18:10Huh?
18:12Is this yours?
18:13You can't do this.
18:13It's infringing my civil liberties.
18:15Now then, Mr. Daly, how exactly would you like to spoil my day for me?
18:19Am I right, Sargeant, in thinking you are a man who does not believe in sensitive counselling?
18:24Ray warned me you were suffering a bit.
18:26Apparently doctor's orders are playing havoc with your imagination.
18:29The arrogance of youth, which, given your normal recollection of the truth, makes the mind boggle.
18:33Still, we mustn't be biased.
18:35What can we do for you?
18:36I want police protection.
18:38Ha, ha, ha, ha.
18:50I won't hear another word.
18:52You cannot march into a police station and demand protection because someone points a crutch at you.
18:57You should be down there now doing some house-to-housing, not casting aspersions.
19:01You are asking us to stretch it a bit, Mr Dainley.
19:04You've heard of mad Benny's reputation.
19:06You play games with bullies, there's a chance you'll get hurt.
19:09Look, Benny is trying to nobble me because a business deal turned out better for me than it did for
19:13him.
19:13Surely there's a law against that.
19:15Ah, it's the business deal again, then, is it, Arthur?
19:20Well, perhaps if you'd like to shed a little light on the exact nature of this business deal
19:24and why Benny's so upset, we might be in a better position to evaluate the threat to you.
19:34It's you all up to them, would it be up?
19:36Arthur, I came as soon as I told my quesling.
19:39I only hope you can sleep nice without half a dozen Mogadon to help you on your way.
19:42Don't pop back round, you've had me little green men chasing you, Arthur.
19:45Who'd have thought it a daily ending up colluding with a law?
19:48I don't think you realise what effect this hoster business is having.
19:51I mean, well, I'd like to say something, I don't want people to start thinking you've lost your marbles.
19:55Oh, fair to consider it.
19:58Donald, I appreciate you're a busy man, but this is an emergency.
20:03Listen, whack the ball a bit harder, miss a few holes out, nobody will notice.
20:08Yeah, all right, Ty, I'll see you then.
20:09Shut up.
20:14Raymond.
20:24I'm prepared to believe that your bell in the old bill and speaking personally to Morley
20:28was motivated by some peculiar sense of duty towards me.
20:31Therefore, I'm going to give you a second chance.
20:33Thanks, Arthur.
20:34In the absence of any police protection whatsoever, I'm appointing you my official bodyguard.
20:40How do you mean?
20:41What I say, you follow me everywhere.
20:44Taste my food, inspect any unusual packages I may receive,
20:47and in the event of any direct attempt on my person, you shield me from me.
20:52You're pulling my leg.
20:53No.
20:54Never believe the police, Ray.
20:56When they say the coast is clear, that is the time to keep your head down.
21:00Ready?
21:02Right, go.
21:04Well, I'm going to need some more dosh for this job, Arthur.
21:07What for?
21:08Well, I need to get all the gear.
21:09Gear?
21:10What gear?
21:11The bodyguard stuff.
21:12Sunglasses, dark suit.
21:14Oh, yeah, and one of those bits of wire that stick in your ear.
21:44What do you mean by creeping up on me?
21:46like that. I got here earlier. I was just having a poke round. Do you mind doing your poking somewhere
21:50where it can be seen in future? And where were you? It could have been some sort of psychotic.
21:55Sorry, Arthur. I was just noticing. That paint really has dried a disgusting colour.
21:59It's a very large amount to suddenly increase your premium by.
22:03You haven't been told you've got something nasty, have you?
22:06The company will check with your doctor if they're suspicious.
22:09Apart from a nagging Veruca, you could run me in the London Marathon, Donald.
22:12It's just that with life assurance, most people fix a rate of payment and stick to it unless there's disaster
22:17on the horizon.
22:18That's your Englishman, Donald. Slave to routine.
22:21No, no, no, no. Business is tripping along nicely and it seemed to me like a good occasion to add
22:25the odd extra shekel to the future security of her indoors.
22:29And you want to increase your personal accident cover by 75%?
22:34Well, I'd advise against that, Arthur. I mean, you're not in a particularly high-risk area.
22:39That's what they said to Louis XVI.
22:42Fair enough, Arthur. You know what you're doing.
22:44Very true, Donald. Very true.
22:56I'm a patient man, but this is taking forever.
22:59And nothing's happened.
23:01Get out there. Find him.
23:04And hurt him.
23:11It's worse for you like that, Arthur.
23:14It's memory lane.
23:15Do not judge other people by your own standards, Dave.
23:17I'm simply trying to find a patch of clean air amongst all this filth.
23:20How much longer do you stand out, Arthur?
23:22You always want to rush, Ray. Relax.
23:24I'm supposed to be guarding Coldhits, remember?
23:26Coldhits, Dave.
23:27That self-contained apartment I've got Raymond temporarily minding.
23:30You've been there.
23:31Have I?
23:31Yeah.
23:32When Peter Osgood scored that goal in the cup final, you were a bit tired and emotional.
23:37What a goal, eh?
23:38Yeah, I remember.
23:39I passed out on a nice bit of pink shag pile into living room.
23:42There you are.
23:43Youth at a day, they don't recognise quality even when it's sticking up through their toes.
23:47That was 20 years ago.
23:4820 years.
23:49Yeah, but you're still quite happy to slope off back there and forget about me, aren't you?
23:52Those are mean streets out there, Raymond.
23:54I know, and I'll be walking them if I miss the last bus.
23:56Oh, dear.
23:57Poor Cinderella.
23:58Here, get yourself a can.
24:00Cheers.
24:01I'll take you out your next week's wages.
24:02You can't stop here all night, Arthur.
24:04Look, when I find a non-alcoholic drink that agrees with me, we'll go.
24:09Dave?
24:10Well, you started with mineral water, then there was tomato juice, orange juice, grapefruit juice,
24:16apple juice, then I tried lime juice, cola, ginger beer, and you're on dandelion and burdock there.
24:23I think you've been through the lot, Arthur.
24:25I'll have a glass of tap water, please.
24:33Night, lads.
24:34Night.
24:34Ah, glad I caught you.
24:35I thought you'd done.
24:36I've been doing some checking up on MacLeish.
24:38I thought we might have been harsh with Daly.
24:40You were?
24:41Apparently there was an altercation about a load of paint that Daly sold to MacLeish.
24:45MacLeish says that he was furious about it at the time, but now he's managed to offload it,
24:49and so that's an end to it as far as he's concerned.
24:51No vendetta.
24:53Ye of little faith.
24:54Yeah, but it always worries me making decisions when you've only heard one side of the argument.
24:58Still, seems you were right about Daly.
25:02Hey, don't you think you should send young Raymond home, Arthur?
25:06He looks knackered.
25:07Yeah, I suppose so.
25:08Same again, Dave.
25:11Trouble with the youth of today?
25:12They've got no stamina.
25:17You nearly caught me there, Arthur.
25:19Cheers.
25:19It's worth a try.
25:21Come on.
25:37There you go.
25:44I've got a good end.
25:47Her indoors has gone to her sister's, so I'm on my own, you see.
25:50Sitting target.
25:52And I knew you'd appreciate the company.
25:54Great.
25:55Oh, it's a bit on the parky side, isn't it?
25:57I must get that looked at.
25:58Mind you, wonderful views.
26:00Not one o'clock in the morning, though, you ain't.
26:02I usually go out like a light.
26:05Getting these cravings don't help.
26:07I'm too agitated to sleep.
26:08Well, I'm not, and that's exactly what I intend to do.
26:15I'll see you in the morning, yeah?
26:27That aftershave of yours is strong stuff, innit?
26:30Arthur, it costs a fortune.
26:31Bet you don't have any trouble with insect bites.
26:33You're supposed to dab it or not, you'd balm yourself in it.
26:36Ah, no, that smells as nature intended.
26:39Juices on the table.
26:40Oh, come on.
26:42Oh, God, you wouldn't give that to Bugs Bunny.
26:44It's all on your diet sheet.
26:45No, that's just a guide.
26:47Muesli, bacon, egg, sausage, it's all interchangeable.
26:50Not here, it's not.
26:54I made a list of things I need.
26:56What things?
26:57Oh, clothes, toiletries from Shea Daly.
26:59Hang on.
27:00How long are you planning on staying?
27:02Well, until things quieten down.
27:04But things will never settle down, will they?
27:05Because they don't exist in the first place.
27:07I've told you, it's stress firing your imagination.
27:10Do I look like a man without his faculties?
27:12Am I frothing at the mouth for vodka or a cigar?
27:15The answer is no.
27:16Arthur, it's only 8 o'clock in the morning.
27:18You wait till dinner time.
27:19I am completely in control of myself.
27:22And though you're short on creature comforts,
27:24you have convinced me this is the only place
27:25you won't be able to trace me to.
27:28Now, be a good lad and go and get those things for me.
27:32Don't bolt your food.
27:34Get indigestion.
27:37I'll finish everything you can't manage.
27:46Dave.
27:48Oh, Ray, what are you doing here?
27:49Touch of the Arthurs.
27:51You've got hope for another couple of hours.
27:53I need some help, mate.
27:55Arthur's still sweating about that leash.
27:57He thinks he's trying to kill him for a few pots of paint.
27:59I've told him he's ridiculous, but he's convinced.
28:02Come here, look at this.
28:06The only key.
28:07He insists I lock him in when I go out
28:09and then put it in my shoe.
28:10Why's that?
28:11So that if one of Benny's boys attacks me,
28:13they won't be able to find it.
28:15Unbelievable.
28:16Well, what do you want me to do?
28:17I want to see Benny.
28:19He's the only person to be able to convince Arthur
28:21not to worry.
28:23Where can I find him?
28:24Well, I've got his address.
28:26What are you going to do about a paint?
28:28I'll tell him I'll make sure Arthur
28:30sorts it out with him.
28:31You take care.
28:42Sam, Arge, you want to find him?
28:43We'll see you down the alley, aren't you?
28:53So how many do you smoke now?
28:5530, 40, a day?
28:57A dramatic depiction of an alcoholic's
29:00attempt to stay dry throughout the lost weekend.
29:16Well, that's why I come to see you.
29:18I'm sure we can sort out this paint misunderstanding.
29:20If you can persuade Arthur, you're not trying to damage him.
29:23I know it's ridiculous, but like I said,
29:25it's the withdrawal symptoms.
29:26What do you want me to do?
29:28Well, can't you give him a call?
29:29He's down with me at one of his properties.
29:31I know he is.
29:32Eh?
29:33You've been very hard to nail down.
29:36It seems we've got there at last.
29:38Juggernauts are no my style.
29:41But I'm afraid your uncle is a far better judge of character
29:44than you give him credit for.
29:47Arthur is in need of a lesson in business etiquette.
29:51So a couple of my boys are on their way over right now.
29:54You're joking.
29:56I'm not a man renowned for my sense of humour.
29:59So?
30:00So what?
30:02So what do you expect me to do?
30:04Stand by and watch?
30:05Quite frankly, I don't care what you do.
30:10Look at you.
30:12You really fancy yourself, don't you?
30:16Well, let me tell you.
30:18You're nothing.
30:20You're amateur night out.
30:21Know what's the price of admission?
30:26Barra boy.
30:31Now let me tell you.
30:32I'm a daly and that means something.
30:35If my uncle is so much as grazed by one of your bully boys,
30:38then I'd pity you, McLeish.
30:41Quite frankly, I pity you.
30:57Let me tell you.
31:07Come on.
31:08I'm so scared.
31:10Oh.
31:11Oh.
31:14Oh, no.
31:27Arthur?
31:28Arthur?
31:46Arthur!
31:51Are you in here, Arthur?
32:09Yeah, Park.
32:11Yeah?
32:13Yeah, go in.
32:19Right, hang on. Sarge, it's Ray Daly again.
32:22What is it this time?
32:24He says Arthur's been kidnapped.
32:27Morley, it's serious.
32:29MacLeish told me he'd sent a couple of the boys over.
32:31Yeah, I must have just missed them.
32:33I'm positive. I locked him in here when I went out.
32:37Yeah, yeah, of course there's signs of a struggle.
32:40I mean, there's smashed glass all over the kitchen. It's a right mess.
32:45Morley, you are the police. You've got to help.
32:48Oh, come on. How do I know where they've taken him?
32:53I'll call you back.
32:57So what's the scam, Sarge? I've checked Benny once.
33:00You and Ray both.
33:02Says Benny admitted to sending a couple of heavies round.
33:05What do we do?
33:06Never a criminal round when you want one.
33:09Come on.
33:11As much as it pains me, I suppose we'd better pay Mr MacLeish a visit.
33:14Maybe, but I'll get a look.
33:20Maybe, maybe.
33:20We'll leave you there.
33:20Maybe.
33:33Maybe.
33:34Maybe.
33:36Maybe.
33:36Maybe.
33:44Maybe.
33:53Come on, Mike.
34:32Come on, Mike.
34:34What the...?
34:37I'm sorry, mate. I thought I knew someone in there.
34:41I'm sorry, mate.
34:48Er, I'll have another packet of them cigars,
34:50and, er...
34:52another couple of packets of spicy-nices.
34:59Er...
35:00No, no, that's fine, that's fine.
35:11Gentlemen.
35:13What can I do for you this time?
35:17That's £28.17.
35:19I'm sorry, we don't accept credit cards.
35:22I don't think I'm hearing right.
35:23Cash or check only.
35:25What about your flexible thingy?
35:26Cash or check only.
35:34What can I have for £2.38?
35:39I'm not the kind of person to start yelling police harassment.
35:42I'm pleased you view it that way.
35:44About my solicitor.
35:45Yes.
35:45Uh, now, hang on a minute.
35:46No!
35:47You hang on a minute!
35:49I've already told your colleague
35:51that I haven't a clue what's happened to Arthur Daly.
35:53But if you two want to keep coming round here
35:55and hinting that I do, that's fine.
35:58But from now on, it'll cost you a lot of money.
36:01I'd advise you against making threats, Mr. MacLeish.
36:04A police officer has every break...
36:04I think we need to detain Mr. MacLeish any longer.
36:08Constable.
36:25Does he think we like coming round here?
36:27He's got some nerve threatening us.
36:29You should have booked him for obstructing the course.
36:31What have we got to go on?
36:33The word of a con artist like Arthur Daly,
36:35who at the best of times is unreliable,
36:37who at the moment is half crazed
36:38trying to keep off artificial stimulants.
36:40What about Ray?
36:41Oh, yes, Ray Mondo.
36:43The one person in the world who regards Daly Senior
36:45as a creditable role model.
36:47We haven't got a leg to stand on.
36:48I hope Arthur has.
37:02Oh, thank God, you're all right.
37:03Yeah, I'll phone somewhere.
37:04Jake's plastic.
37:05Come on, get in the car.
37:06Yeah, thanks for my hat.
37:07Hey, you're in big trouble.
37:09What?
37:09I'll take care of that.
37:10Hey, no, give me that.
37:11You'll be in big trouble.
37:12Come on.
37:13Hey, come on, give me that.
37:14You can't have it.
37:15Look, look, come on, give me a smoke at least.
37:17No.
37:18Well, give me a sub of...
37:19No.
37:19You can't have it.
37:21I can't have it.
37:22I can't have it.
37:42It was shut.
37:45Staff illness.
37:49That's the fifth in as many minutes.
37:51It's our busiest time, Arthur.
37:53You'll ruin us.
37:54Look, why don't you let me go out of the car
37:55and get my groceries?
37:57Benny could be on the other side of that door.
37:59Anyway, now is not the time to give in, Arthur.
38:01Get through this and the other seven weeks
38:03will be no trouble.
38:13It's a matter of convincing the police Benny's for real.
38:16If they saw me shaking, they wouldn't have any doubts.
38:17I think they might put that down or something else, Arthur.
38:22We're closed.
38:25It's the law.
38:30Thought I might find you here.
38:32You're the first bit of decent luck.
38:34You won't say that when I've finished.
38:38Arthur Daly.
38:40Afternoon, Sergeant.
38:40And looking so well after the various attempts on your person.
38:45Yeah, I was coming round the station to tell you.
38:47I found him on the Ice Street.
38:48Oh, that is fortunate.
38:50It's just as well since I was coming round here
38:51to tell you to stuff your theories about Benny being after Arthur.
38:55We haven't got a scrap of evidence
38:56and McLeish is getting rather upset
38:58about the number of visits we're paying him.
39:00What I suggest you both do
39:02is get yourselves a good bottle of whiskey
39:03and go home and bloody well relax.
39:10Your flight out of Phoenix, that's the one.
39:12I'll never be able to watch that film again in the same light.
39:15You what?
39:15Well, when that bloke half-inches of water
39:18when it's in short supply.
39:19I mean, it's all very well to criticise frailty,
39:21but, I mean, when it's your back against the wall...
39:23Well, you want a glass of water, Arthur? You have one.
39:47What is happening to me?
39:51Well, sit down, Arthur.
39:54I'll, um...
39:55I'll put the kettle on.
39:58Oi.
39:59Go and pack some things.
40:01Go on, we're going to make for the motorway.
40:02He knulled on, Arthur.
40:03The only way we're going to convince the police now
40:05is if they actually catch Benny and his henchmen having a go at you.
40:09So we're going to have to set them up.
40:11What?
40:12I won't be a minute.
40:13Raymond!
40:14Leave it to me!
40:22I appreciate you might be a bit sceptical,
40:24but that's what I'm saying.
40:26Okay.
40:27We'll do it.
40:28Just like that?
40:29It's our duty to serve.
40:33As long as you're sure he'll be there.
40:35He's bound to.
40:36He's one of those blokes who can't rest on the cell to score.
40:41Yeah, but, well, shouldn't we have some sort of signal
40:43so you can leap in before the actual assault takes place?
40:45I think you can let us be the best judge of that.
40:49Okay.
40:50I'll see you later, yeah?
40:51All right.
40:52Bye.
40:53Bye-bye.
41:04Right here!
41:05Right here!
41:06What's that?
41:06Are you all right?
41:07Yes!
41:08Come on, it gets you!
41:10Here!
41:11Come on!
41:13Oh!
41:17Oh, Ian!
41:18Shoot her!
41:19Shit!
41:26Oh!
41:31Be polite!
41:32Be helpful!
41:34Be forgetful!
41:38Ray, Ray, wait, I'm perspiring.
41:40Oh, come on, Arthur, it's not much further.
41:41When we get there, you'll be safe until I sort things out with Benny.
41:44Hasn't got an oxygen tent at this place?
41:50Come on, Arthur, keep it.
41:52Almost there.
42:06Are you going to leave me here?
42:07Don't worry.
42:08Don't want to let you come to any harm.
42:10No, I'm sure.
42:11Well, come on.
42:17You got home, Ray?
42:18Dave, I need to borrow the van.
42:19It'll only be 20 minutes.
42:20Key's on the back pocket.
42:21What's the problem?
42:22It's Benny's Hedgeman, I'll tell you later.
42:24Keep an eye on Arthur for me.
42:31You all right, Alf?
42:56Are you sure about this, Arthur?
42:58I'll be hidden in there, Dave.
42:59They might come looking out front.
43:01Yeah, well, you go careful.
43:02There's not a lot of room in there.
43:03Come with the hour, Dave.
43:04Come with the hour.
43:08Dave, you've been burgled.
43:11There's nothing here.
43:13Someone's absconded with a drink.
43:15I'm stock-taking.
43:16All the booze is out here on the passage.
43:19Oh.
43:42Good thinking, Arthur.
43:44Yeah, I thought so, too.
43:46Come on.
43:46We've got an appointment under King's Head.
43:49I'm on my way.
43:57Thin crust Hawaiian special, no olives.
44:02Tar.
44:04Oh, very nice.
44:08Look, about tonight, are you sure you don't want me to organise something?
44:12Not unless there's a game of dominoes down the social club.
44:15Well, you know best, sir.
44:16Yes, I do know best.
44:18And I know that if we turn up at the King's Head, apart from Benny and his missus, we'll be
44:21the only ones there.
44:22And he'll get straight on to his brief.
44:25It is no accident that my nose does not compete for space with my cheeks, Ray.
44:31Or, in fact, I have my own set of teeth.
44:32Look, there won't be any fighting.
44:34That's the whole point.
44:35We're just after Benny's verbal job, Morley and Park, plus several FD constables step in and end the show.
44:40It's all arranged.
44:42It's not the sort of thing a man with gastric complications should be trying.
44:46It's the one way we'll get him off your back once and for all.
44:51Hold on.
45:02Right, then.
45:04I need something to steady me, Ray.
45:06Anything.
45:07A bottle of vodka, half a dozen cigars.
45:09I'm really proud of the way you're managing, Arthur.
45:11Look at that.
45:12If they could connect me up to the national grid now, they'd save a fortune.
45:15Come on.
45:16We can't keep Morley and these boys waiting.
45:20You two have got a nerve after what you've done.
45:23Good evening, Mr. McLeish.
45:24This is your last chance to salvage something from a deal with the dailies.
45:29A goodwill gesture.
45:31Your money back less 20% for our time and effort.
45:3420%?
45:35Where'd you get that?
45:36And that's an end to it.
45:37No more aggro.
45:38What makes you think I'll accept?
45:40You can't afford to keep chasing after Arthur.
45:42I know the police have been checking.
45:43Take it while you can, McLeish.
45:45I will.
45:47Ray, I think we'd better go back inside.
45:50It's all right, Arthur.
45:55Alice, phone the police.
45:58That footballing rabble's back.
46:00Not again.
46:02They've even brought the manager along this time.
46:08Trouble with the king's hand.
46:12Leave it to me, Arthur.
46:15So, Benny, you just couldn't leave it, could you?
46:19Had to bring your thugs along.
46:22And now you're going to assault us, eh?
46:28And now you're going to assault us.
46:33Don't forget I'm with Bupa.
46:36Okay, boys.
46:57All right, Arthur.
46:59I think the pleasure's mine.
47:16Oh, hell.
47:23Oh, hell.
47:26Oh, hell.
47:27Oh, hell.
47:36Hey, you got a light?
47:41Oh, well, what's going on?
47:53Oh, better late than never, Sergeant.
47:55You better ask Mad Benny that.
47:57He'll be the best person to explain when he comes round.
47:59Do you need a doctor, Ray?
48:00No, I perish the thought.
48:01All he needs is a couple of hours in there,
48:02which I'll be quite happy to provide.
48:04Hey, what about a doctor, Arthur?
48:05No, no, no.
48:06He'll never get here by closing time, Ray.
48:08Here we go.
48:09It's no good looking in there.
48:10Why not?
48:11Oh, come on, Arthur.
48:12Am I going to bring the real stuff?
48:14On my daily, that means something.
48:16Of course it does, Ray.
48:17Of course it does.
48:18Yeah, but what is this?
48:20That's last night's evening paper.
48:21Oh, my God.
48:22What are we going to do?
48:23I'm completely strapped.
48:24I haven't got a groat.
48:26Come on in, Arthur.
48:28Good boy.
48:28Only one, Arthur, all right?
48:29Good boy.
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