00:00Sous-titrage MFP.
00:30...
01:04Excuse me, do you sell buckets?
01:06Buckets? No.
01:09Really?
01:10No call for them. Old-fashioned.
01:14So, how do people, you know, like, carry water and stuff?
01:18Well, everything's plumbed in these days.
01:20You know, it's piped to wherever it needs to be,
01:21so there's no need for anyone to carry any by hand.
01:24What colour bucket?
01:25Well, it doesn't really matter. Any colour.
01:28No, sorry, I can't help you.
01:30A hose pipe, that's the closest we do.
01:32Garden section.
01:35Okay.
01:36Excuse me.
01:38Is that right that you don't sell buckets anymore?
01:40I'm sorry?
01:42Your colleague just told me that you don't sell buckets anymore
01:45because they're old-fashioned.
01:48Do you mean those things that people used to carry water in?
01:52Yeah.
01:53Oh, we haven't stocked buckets in a while, mate.
01:57Tell you what, you might want to try the vintage and antiques Emporium.
02:13Do you see Celebrity Barrel Scrapers last night?
02:17Did I see what?
02:18Celebrity Barrel Scrapers.
02:20It's like, you know Barrel Scrapers, the show?
02:22Well, it's like that, but the celebrity version.
02:25I haven't got to tell it.
02:26Are you serious?
02:27There's a programme called Celebrity Barrel Scrapers.
02:29Yeah. Didn't recognise any of the celebrities in it, though.
02:32Apart from that bald bloke from, er, what's it called?
02:35It's funny, though.
02:36What did they do, the celebrities?
02:38Just, you know, scrape the barrels out, get them clean.
02:42It gets really messy. It's dead good.
02:44Hang on, you don't have a TV.
02:46No.
02:48Prick.
02:50Everyone's going to the pub next Friday after work.
02:52It's someone's birthday. You come in.
02:55Whose birthday?
02:56The bloke who cuts the MDR.
02:57Andre.
02:58Mm-hmm.
02:59Maybe.
03:00I'll see.
03:02I think it's all good.
03:03It's about six foot, a big white beard.
03:05Him, him there with the white beard.
03:06Him.
03:07Thank you.
03:08Here we go.
03:11Did you tell that customer we don't sell buckets?
03:15No.
03:15He said you told him we don't sell buckets,
03:17that there's no call for them.
03:20Oh, buckets.
03:21Is that what he was after?
03:22I couldn't understand what he was saying.
03:26What time do you go to bed?
03:28None of your business, Gordon.
03:29It is my business if my staff are falling asleep on their feet
03:32and they can't hear the customers properly.
03:35You don't lose your hearing when you're tired.
03:39Hello, Hilary?
03:40Is everything okay?
03:43Okay, I'll be right there.
03:44No.
03:45No, it's fine.
03:46I'm not busy.
03:47No, honestly, it's not a problem.
03:49Yes.
03:51Okay, I'm on my way.
03:55I've got to go.
03:56My dad's lost something.
03:58Lost something?
04:03Have you been on your break?
04:26Oh, hello, love.
04:27Sorry.
04:27No, it's all right.
04:28What's happened?
04:29I would have waited till you came in later,
04:30but he was upset and threatening to call the police.
04:33Really?
04:35Tina found this on his bed when he was at breakfast
04:38and brought it to me.
04:41He noticed it was missing and kicked off.
04:48Bloody hell.
04:50Right, um, well, I'll see if I can get to the bottom of it.
04:55Thanks, Hilary.
04:56Sorry.
04:56Sorry.
05:08Hello, Dad.
05:09Oh, I'm glad you're here.
05:10There's a thief in this place and I've had enough.
05:12It's outrageous.
05:14I'm writing a letter.
05:15All right, Dad.
05:16Calm down.
05:17No one stole it.
05:18I've got it here.
05:19They didn't know what it was.
05:21It says quite clearly on the tin what it is.
05:24Poison.
05:25Well, exactly.
05:26They were worried.
05:27I'm not a child.
05:29Why have you got a tin of poison?
05:31What is going on?
05:32Give it here.
05:34All right.
05:36One, two, three, four, five, six.
05:38Oh, they were all there.
05:39Thank God for that.
05:40I couldn't replicate these.
05:41Once they're gone, they're gone.
05:42Seriously, Dad, why have you got six files of poison?
05:46This is the antidote that dissolves the homunculi,
05:49only to be used in case of emergency.
05:51It was given to me.
05:52I don't know what's in it, and I couldn't make it again.
05:55Did you find the diaries, Mike?
05:58Eh?
05:59Did you find the instructions?
06:01Yes.
06:01Excellent.
06:02So have you got it set up?
06:03No, Dad.
06:04I haven't had time.
06:05Well, the sooner you start the chanting,
06:07the sooner you'll be able to get results,
06:08and the sooner you'll be able to ask about clear.
06:11You have to chant to the bottles.
06:14It's all there in the instructions.
06:17What?
06:18What's wrong?
06:27This was in the journal.
06:29There they are.
06:31Oh, my God.
06:32I've forgotten I took this.
06:34Dad, I'm so confused.
06:35I thought that this was just a bedtime story.
06:38I didn't think it might actually be real.
06:40Trust me.
06:41You want to know where Claire is when she's coming home?
06:45They can answer any question,
06:47and they're compelled to answer truthfully.
06:49OK.
06:50Just remind me what they actually are.
06:54Homunculi.
06:55Prophesying spirits.
06:57Right.
06:57I looked up homunculus in the dictionary,
07:00and it said,
07:00a very small humanoid creature.
07:04That's it, yeah?
07:05That's it!
07:08So what?
07:09A human?
07:10An animal?
07:11Is this legal?
07:13Well, it's not illegal.
07:15That doesn't exactly put my mind at rest, Dad.
07:17Trust me.
07:19Yes, yes, all right.
07:21Before I forget,
07:21will you post some letters for me?
07:24More competitions?
07:25Yeah, this one's foot spa,
07:27this one's dog grooming classes,
07:29and this one's Lamborghini.
07:31Fingers crossed.
07:32Oh, and this one,
07:33you'll need a stamp.
07:34You'll have to go to the post office.
07:35It's going to Vancouver
07:38to my old school friend, Vic.
07:40Oh, right-o.
07:41How is Vic these days?
07:42Much the same.
07:43Not much to say for himself,
07:45but he always asks after you.
07:47After me, does he?
07:49Yeah, yeah.
07:49Very interested in what you're up to.
07:51Did I ever meet him?
07:53Maybe once.
07:55When you were little.
07:56Right.
07:56Well, next time,
07:59tell him I said hello.
08:12before I forget about your friend's dad.
08:19to Liz.
08:19Bye-bye.
08:19Bye-bye.
08:20Bye-bye.
08:21Bye-bye.
08:23Bye-bye.
08:27Bye-bye.
08:31nn com'
08:33Bye-bye.
08:35n啊
17:41Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
18:11Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
18:46Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
18:49Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
18:52Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
18:57Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
19:35Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
19:38Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
19:41Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
19:44Why do you want me to come to the pub so much?
19:47I'm not asking you out on a date, I'm just saying, we're at the pub, for fuck's sake, I'm just
19:50being friendly.
19:51All right, I'm sorry.
19:53Which pub?
19:54Open as usual.
20:01All right?
20:02Yeah?
20:03Yeah.
20:03You all right?
20:04You made it.
20:07You must be made up.
20:08Yeah, I might start weeping.
20:16Oh, here he is.
20:19Hey, someone get this mammoth drink.
20:25Michael?
20:25Michael?
20:26You a train spotter?
20:28No.
20:30You're a virgin?
20:31What are you talking about?
20:33What are you talking about?
20:33How old are you?
20:34Fifty?
20:35Fifty-year-old virgin?
20:37Shut up, Brigham.
20:38How old are you?
20:39Five?
20:40I love this freak.
20:43My mate used to work at a restaurant when you worked there, at some burger place.
20:47Oh, yeah, burgers, burgers, burgers, on the high street.
20:50Yeah, said he stripped off in front of all the customers.
20:53Only to be vest and pants.
20:54Only to be vest and pants.
20:56What for?
20:57I was resigning, they wore the uniform back.
21:00My mate said, right, he swipes a banoffee pie off the counter, comes out front, strips off,
21:05flips the manager of the bird and then walks out in his boxes.
21:08Is that true?
21:09Nearly.
21:10It was a sticky toffee pudding and I had to come back because my clothes and keys were
21:14in the staff room.
21:16Oh, no, no, I'm only having the one.
21:18I've got the car.
21:19Leave it here, get the bus.
21:20Where do you live?
21:21Marvin Gardens, just off the Wilmslow Road.
21:23Oh, my God, yeah, I know.
21:24Listen, it's a 20-minute walk from here, you're fine.
21:27Do you know Danielle?
21:28She used to live on the corner of Marvin Gardens.
21:31I was mates with her at school.
21:32I hadn't spoken to her in years, though.
21:33She went off to catering college.
21:35Oh, my God, there used to be this house on Marvin Gardens, right, that was just like
21:39full of junk.
21:41And, like, the garden was an absolute jungle.
21:43And, I mean, this bloke lived there, but nobody saw him.
21:45Well, Danielle saw him a few times, but anyways, he murdered his wife.
21:51Yeah, everyone knew.
21:52I mean, the police dug up his garden and everything, but they never found out.
21:56He lived there.
22:03Oh, my God, that's your house.
22:13Did you murder your wife?
22:17I was never married, but no, I've never murdered anyone, let alone flush somebody down the toilet.
22:28Come to think of it, everything Danielle said was absolute bullshit.
22:32Michael!
22:33Michael!
22:35Do you like Star Trek?
22:41After a couple of weeks, we can't find it.
22:45He's just looking into the...
22:56So, were you really an underwater welder?
22:59What's that?
23:00Were you really an underwater welder?
23:02Oh, no, I made that up.
23:05Do you know, I knew it, you bullshitter.
23:07I went down the two-hour underwater welding rabbit hole last night.
23:11I mean, I watch videos on YouTube.
23:14I know everything about it.
23:15So, how does that work, then, the fire underwater thing?
23:19I'm not telling you.
23:27Your mate's story, it wasn't all bullshit, though.
23:32The police did dig up my garden.
23:34Did me a favour, actually.
23:36Had to clear up afterwards.
23:38They left it in a better state than it was before.
23:41Well, what were they looking for, then?
23:43My girlfriend.
23:45She left one day.
23:47She never came back.
23:49Everyone thought I'd killed her for a while.
23:53I didn't kill her.
23:55I love her.
23:58Michael!
23:59Do you collect stamps?
24:00Why do you find me so weird, Brigham?
24:03I don't get it.
24:04Just don't worry about anything.
24:05No, I don't understand.
24:07Is it simply because I have a beard?
24:09Or because I don't go on the paintballing trips?
24:14Because that ain't that bloody weird, is it?
24:16Jason wears gold boots with wings on.
24:20But here you all are, ripping into me.
24:22Oh, careful.
24:23Watch out for his trip down.
24:25Bowling to his vest of pants.
24:26You don't know anything about me.
24:29You knew what I'm actually growing in my shed.
24:34Stop right there.
24:35Thank you very much.
24:36What are you actually growing in your shed?
24:38What you don't know is that I am actually growing homunculi.
24:44I beg your pardon?
24:47Homunculi.
24:49They are prophesying spirits that can predict the future.
24:54And I am growing them in jars in my shed.
24:58So when I'm winning billions on the lottery,
25:01you won't be laughing there, will you?
25:03Eh?
25:04What the fuck are you on the back?
25:06Homunculi!
25:08Let's get you home, yeah?
25:16Are you all right?
25:17I'm fine.
25:24So, what are you growing in jars in your shed?
25:28Homunculi.
25:30And what's a homunculi?
25:32No.
25:33No.
25:34Homunculi is plural.
25:36Homunculus is singular.
25:37And they are creatures.
25:39They're like little people.
25:41They're like little people in jars.
25:44Like sea monkeys?
25:45They're a little bit like sea monkeys, but they can predict the fuchsia.
25:50Fuchsia.
25:52I had sea monkeys once.
25:53They were really disappointing.
25:55Like the advert said that they were so eager to please,
25:58but my ones, they couldn't give an apparent fuck.
26:00They're not sea monkeys.
26:02They're monkey-like.
26:03Can I come and see them?
26:05No.
26:06Nobody can see them at the moment
26:08because they are invisible to the human naked eye.
26:11So, no.
26:14Okay.
26:16You have to walk me home.
26:17I'm fine.
26:18Mate, I'm not walking you home.
26:19I live this way.
26:20Fine.
26:22Fine.
26:27This is me.
26:28All right.
26:28Yeah, cool.
26:29I'm just...
26:52I'm just...
27:23You have to walk me home.
27:25I'm just...
27:27I'm just...
27:37I'm just...
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