- 2 days ago
- #konosuba
After a traffic accident, Kazuma Sato's disappointingly brief life was supposed to be over, but a goddess gives him a second chance.
#konosuba
#konosuba
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TVTranscript
00:07I never go out if I don't have to, but today's one of those days when I have to.
00:17The limited edition of a popular MMO is going on sale, and I'm gonna snag one.
00:31Five hours later, Target acquired. Man, these in-store exclusives sure can cramp a guy's lifestyle.
00:40After three all-nighters in a row, the sun's my worst enemy. Gotta get inside and play this.
00:52She's from my high school.
00:58Look out! The truck's gonna...
01:05Why'd I pick today of all days to play hero?
01:09No.
01:24Kazuma Sato.
01:27Welcome to the afterlife.
01:31A few moments ago, you passed on. My condolences.
01:39Your life was quite short.
01:43And now you are quite dead.
01:45?
01:49?
01:49?
01:49?
01:52?
01:52?
01:52It's the beginning of the song
01:56We are the city man
02:00I'm so happy to see the future
02:18I'm so happy to see the future
02:36I'll see you next time.
02:51I'll see you next time.
03:22What about the girl? Is she okay?
03:26Yes, she's fine.
03:29Thank God. At least my death counted for something good.
03:37Actually, even if you hadn't pushed her out of the way like you did, she'd still be fine.
03:42Huh?
03:42A tractor can't go that fast, so it would have stopped before it hit her.
03:47Whoa, hold it. Back up a sec.
03:49What is it?
03:49That was a tractor?
03:52Yes, a little red one.
03:54But then how'd I die? I mean, did I like get run over by it or something?
03:58Oh no. You died of shock. Apparently you thought it was a truck.
04:03You're kidding!
04:08Sorry, I've been doing this for a long time and you're the first human I ever met who died so
04:13ridiculously!
04:15The hell? She's making fun of me dying.
04:18You were so scared to be run over, you wet your pants!
04:22Then you passed out and at the hospital, the doctors and nurses laughed while you had a heart attack!
04:26No, shut up! La-la-la-la-la! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear it!
04:30Your family's at the hospital right now and we're just told about how you died.
04:34Even they're laughing!
04:35Oh God, no! Stop it! Stop it!
04:39There's nothing like laughter to ease the stress of one's day.
04:42Damn her!
04:44I'm the goddess Aqua.
04:45When a young person dies in Japan, it's my job to guide them to the afterlife.
04:50Now that you are here, you have a couple of options.
04:53You can either reincarnate and return to Earth.
04:55Or you can go to heaven and putter around like an old man for eternity.
05:00But just between you and me, heaven is nothing like the dreamy place you humans imagine it being like.
05:06There's no TV or manga or games, and since you don't have a physical body, you can't have sex.
05:14You'll just bask in the sun till the end of time, whenever that happens.
05:18What?
05:19Sounds totally boring, I know! You don't want to go somewhere like that, do you?
05:23Uh, I guess not.
05:25Starting over from scratch isn't all it's cracked up to be either.
05:29But I have another option I know you'll love.
05:31You're young.
05:32I bet you like games.
05:34Huh?
05:34In a faraway land, peace and prosperity are being threatened by the Devil King and his army.
05:41The innocents are being trampled by monsters, destroyed in the blink of an eye.
05:46Fear rules the land as the Devil King's army rapes and pillages and slaughters and...
05:51lures... slaughters!
05:55Life is so hard there. The population is in decline because no one wants to reincarnate back into it.
06:00Fine.
06:01To help, we decided to send young people who died in other worlds to that one and let them keep
06:06their bodies and memories.
06:07Pretty clever, huh?
06:08But what's the point of sending me there if I'm gonna be killed anyway?
06:12I'm glad you asked!
06:14If you decide to go,
06:15I will let you choose one thing and take it with you.
06:18It can be anything, like a powerful weapon or a special ability.
06:21You can have a new life and keep all your memories from your old one.
06:25Plus, you can have an awesome power or weapon!
06:28That world needs a hero, and you can be its hero!
06:32That's some deal, don't you think?
06:37Um, just wondering, won't I have to learn this world's language?
06:42Oh, right, well, we already thought of that.
06:46Thanks to the kind support of us gods, we'll load the language into your brain.
06:50You'll be able to speak and read it right when you arrive.
06:53There's a chance you'll get overloaded and go poof, but that's rare.
06:56Anywho, just pick a skill or weapon and I'll go ahead and send you on your way.
07:21Maybe it's my gamer's intuition talking, but these skills and gear are kinda whack.
07:26Hell, if I'm going someplace where there's magic, I gotta pick something magic-ish.
07:30Come on, hurry it up.
07:33It doesn't matter what you pick anyway.
07:35In the end, you'll still just be a shut-in gamer geek.
07:38Hey, don't you call me a geek!
07:39And I'm not a shut-in!
07:41I died outside my house!
07:45Detail shmeetails, just hurry it up already.
07:47I've got loads more dead humans to guide besides you, you know.
07:51Damn her!
07:52Just because she's sorta hot, she thinks she can get away with talking down to me!
08:01You want me to hurry up, huh?
08:04Okay, you got it.
08:05I can pick any one thing to take with me, is that right?
08:09Uh-huh.
08:17Okay, stand in the magic circle and don't step out-
08:24Hold on, what was it you picked again?
08:33Your request has been heard.
08:34And fear not, Lady Aqua, for in your absence, I shall tend to your duties.
08:40Kazuma Sato's wish complies with the regulations, and has been accepted.
08:45Wait, you can't be serious.
08:47This is obviously a mistake.
08:48No, no, no.
08:49Redo!
08:50Cancel the request!
08:51You can't do this to me!
08:52It's against the rules!
08:53You can't take me with them!
08:54I'm a goddess!
08:55This is illegal!
08:56It's totally illegal!
08:57It's gotta be illegal!
08:58Wait!
08:58Wait!
09:01Have a safe journey, Lady Aqua.
09:03Should you defeat the Devil King, I shall send an escort to bring you back here.
09:07But I can't fight!
09:08I'm a goddess!
09:09The only skill I have is healing!
09:11I'm a healer, not a fighter!
09:12I can't defeat the Devil King!
09:14I can't defeat anyone!
09:15Oh, put me down!
09:17Put me down!
09:18Oh!
09:18Oh!
09:19It must suck to be you right now, getting drabbed away by the guy you were making fun
09:24of.
09:26You're coming with me, and there's nothing you can do about it!
09:29I'll tap your power to live the good life, and I'll tap it all day, every day!
09:35Please don't make me go with a creep like him!
09:38Please!
09:43I wish you luck, and I pray that of the many candidates who have been sent, you shall
09:48be the hero who defeats the Devil King!
09:50If you can save that world from his evil, the god shall grant you any wish your heart desires!
09:56Whoa!
09:57Seriously?
09:57Hold on a sec!
09:58I'm supposed to say that!
09:59Now then, begin your journey!
10:03Whoa!
10:05Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
10:12AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
10:30Huh?
10:33No way!
10:34I'm really in another world. I can't believe it. So, like, does that mean I get to learn magic and,
10:41like, go on real quests and stuff?
10:44I get to be a hero?
10:48Goodbye to my miserable hermit's life. Hello, my new one! This fantasy world's gonna break me out of my shell!
10:56What are you doing? Would you stop already? People are starting to stare, and you're ruining my moment.
11:01Right. So, anyway, now that we're here, aren't you supposed to give me something? I mean, look at me. I'm
11:06still in a tracksuit.
11:07I can't do what I gotta do in a fantasy world wearing clothes like these. Don't I get some basic
11:12gear to start with?
11:22Okay, quit spazzing out! I get it! Your badge are here! I'm sorry!
11:28God, if you hate it so much, just go back to where you came from. I can manage on my
11:32own.
11:33Haven't you been paying attention? I can't go back. That's the problem!
11:37I'm stuck here with a creep! What do I do? I'm stuck here, and I don't know what to do!
11:42Calm down, goddess. Calm down. All we have to do is find the guild.
11:47In most RPGs, that's usually the place you gotta go if a player's looking to get some information.
11:52Wow. I didn't realize a housebound gamer nerd like you was capable of having good ideas.
11:58Whatever, goddess. You coming?
11:59Right behind you!
12:01By the way, I don't mind you calling me goddess, but I'm worried it'll cause a commotion here.
12:05Call me Aqua instead.
12:07Hey, wait. Since you are a goddess and all, you should know where something like an Avenger's Guild is at.
12:13No, sorry I don't. I deal with tons of worlds. I can't know every little detail about them.
12:19Man, she's useless.
12:22Enjoy!
12:27Well, looks like this is it.
12:33Are you sure about this?
12:38Oh, welcome! If you're here to eat, grab a seat where you can. And if you're looking for work, head
12:43on over to the counter.
12:44Cool, thanks a lot.
12:51Hey!
12:53I've never seen you before.
12:56Y'all got some weird-ass clothes going on over there.
12:59Yeah, well, we just rolled into town, buddy. Been on the road a minute, you know what I mean?
13:06Truth is, I heard y'all could use my help fighting the Devil King.
13:09Hmm. If Dian's what you want, Dian's what you'll get. Welcome to the Gates of Hell! Guild of Mission Desk's
13:17over there, tough guy.
13:22Hey.
13:23What?
13:24I noticed how you were talking to that man back there. How did you know how to do that?
13:28Because that's how it's done.
13:30Hmm.
13:30Look, in RPGs, you register with a guild and find a place to stay first.
13:35I don't know anything about RPGs, but if that's what you say we should do, then I'm all for it!
13:40Now that's the spirit! Come on, let's go!
13:43Hey, um... You seem like such an intelligent guy. It's hard to believe you were a nerd with no friends
13:50or girlfriends in life.
13:51So why'd you spend every day indoors acting like a shut-in neat?
13:55Look, shut-in and neat are totally different, so stop calling me that, you bimbo!
14:01Hi. How can I help you two today?
14:04What do we have to do if we want to be adventurers?
14:07I can help with that. Just pay the registration fee and I can get your paperwork started.
14:11Oh, awesome! Wait, there's a registration fee? You got any money on you?
14:17Mm-mm. You dragged me here without any warning, so I didn't have a chance to grab my purse.
14:22Yup, totally useless.
14:32Ready to order?
14:35Sorry. Give us another minute, please.
14:37Sure. Take your time.
14:40Oh, we're stuck. So now what?
14:43If this was a game, we'd at least get some basic gear and enough cash to cover us for a
14:48bit.
14:48How can they treat us like this?
14:51So much for your reliability.
14:53Go figure. You're a shut-in neat after all.
14:56Don't call me that.
14:58All right, it looks like it's my turn now.
15:01Watch how a goddess handles this crisis.
15:07Priest! What is your denomination?
15:09Mm-hmm.
15:10I am Aqua, worshipped by the noble religious order of Axis.
15:14The goddess Aqua!
15:16If thou art one of my loyal followers,
15:20I'd appreciate it if you could lend me some money.
15:24Actually, I'm in the heiress set.
15:30Oh, you are?
15:32Sorry to bother you.
15:34Wait, miss.
15:35You say you're with the Axis sect?
15:37According to the old stories,
15:39the goddess Aqua is senior to the goddess heiress.
15:41I noticed earlier you couldn't cover the registration fee,
15:44so this must be fate.
15:47Here.
15:48Consider it a blessing from the lady heiress.
15:51Although you shouldn't depersonate a goddess
15:53no matter how devoted a follower you are.
15:56Sorry.
15:57Thank you very much, kind sir.
16:02For some reason,
16:04he didn't believe I was really a goddess.
16:06Nice man, though.
16:08He even pointed out that Ares is my junior.
16:11To think one of my subordinates' followers
16:14took pity on me
16:15and loaned me some money with her hands.
16:19Yeah.
16:20Wow.
16:26So, uh,
16:28we have the registration fee.
16:30Oh, okay.
16:32She felt so bad,
16:33she took the money without even looking at us.
16:36Allow me to explain how all this works.
16:39Adventurer is a generic class
16:40and your skills are important,
16:42which brings us to your registration card.
16:45It keeps track of your level
16:46based on all the monsters you've killed.
16:48When your level increases,
16:50you'll earn points you can trade in
16:52to learn new skills.
16:53Work hard and you'll raise your level in no time.
16:56On to the next step.
16:57Would you please hold your hand over the crystal, sir?
17:00Okay, here it goes.
17:03Oh.
17:16Once it's finished the evaluation process,
17:18you'll get your current stats.
17:20Based on those,
17:21we'll know which class suits you best.
17:24Sweet! I get to find out what all my latent abilities are!
17:27Everyone in the guild's gonna freak out over how rad I am!
17:34Alright, let's see your stats.
17:36Kazuma Sato. Interesting name.
17:39Ah, here we are.
17:41Hmm, average across the board. Your intelligence is high, that's good.
17:44Oh wow, your luck is way above average.
17:47But unfortunately, that's not an essential stat for the adventurer class.
17:51With this much luck, I'd recommend you be a merchant instead, or something like that.
17:57She's trying to squash my dreams of being an adventurer. Screw that!
18:02No offense, but I'd still like to be an adventurer, please.
18:07Don't look so sad! Once you start leveling up, you can pick something better!
18:11Yeah, I sure hope so.
18:13So much for being rad.
18:18Whoa! Your intelligence is below average.
18:21And your luck is the lowest I've ever seen.
18:23But even so, the rest of your stats are unbelievably high!
18:26Oh? So does that mean I'm unbelievably amazing?
18:30No. Amazing would be an understatement.
18:33The mage class requires intelligence, so that's out of the question.
18:36But other than that, you can be anything you want.
18:39Crusader, swordmaster, archpriest, they're all advanced classes, and you can pick any one of them!
18:45Well, it's a shame there's no goddess class, but what can you do?
18:48I shall settle for being an archpriest who heals her allies!
18:52I think that's a wonderful choice!
18:54It's a very versatile class with all types of healing and support spells,
18:58one that's strong enough to stand fearlessly on the front lines!
19:06I welcome you to our adventurer's guild, Lady Aqua!
19:10Best of luck to you!
19:12We look forward to your exploits!
19:16I've never heard of anyone starting as an archpriest before!
19:19A hard-ass chick like you might actually have a shot at beating the Devil King!
19:24This is such BS! She stole my thunder!
19:28Kazuma! Today we start a life of adventuring!
19:31I thought she hated the whole idea of it.
19:33I like this part of it, though.
19:42Oh well, everything up to now has been about creating our characters anyway.
19:47Finally, our adventure is about to start!
20:20We'll see you next time!
20:24We'll be back!
20:25Bye!
20:26Bye!
20:33Bye!
20:42Bye!
20:46Bye!
20:52BD BB!
21:53We'll keep it down!
21:59Man, we didn't come here to be day laborers.
22:02You're right! No, we didn't!
22:04Hurry up and defeat the Devil King already so I can go back home!
22:14Her intelligence stats lower than the average human's.
22:19Anyway, all the monsters near town were killed off a while ago.
22:22And with no monsters, no one was paying for any fetch quests.
22:27I get why, but it's all too real-worldy for me.
22:30Thank you!
22:31Uh-oh.
22:45What?
22:47Oh, nothing. That bath was great.
22:52Say.
22:53Huh?
22:54I've been thinking about stuff.
22:56What do you say we leave town and do a kill quest on our own?
22:59How? We're level one. We don't even have any basic gear.
23:02It'll be fine. As long as I'm around, you have nothing to worry about.
23:07You can count on me!
23:09That doesn't make me feel better.
23:11Uh, have you forgotten who I am?
23:14Oh yeah, that's right. You're a goddess.
23:17Okay, you're on.
23:18Great! This'll be fun!
23:22And with that, our adventure in this new world of ours began.
23:26But for real this... time.
23:39コロンで すりむいたとこ
23:46血が滲んで しみるけれど
23:51へっちゃらさ すぐ治るから
23:59明日には傘ぶたできる
24:05岬から船を出せば
24:10風を受け 歩が膨らむ
24:16僕は今 土を離れ
24:23七つの海を股に駆ける
24:29南から風が吹いて
24:35急に雨が降り始めた
24:41春はすぐ隣にいる
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25:03寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸泊物の 寸�
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