- 2 days ago
- #konosuba
After a traffic accident, Kazuma Sato's disappointingly brief life was supposed to be over, but a goddess gives him a second chance.
#konosuba
#konosuba
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TVTranscript
00:01My name is Darkness and my class is Crusader. If you would have me, I would like to join your
00:10p-p-p-party, please. I can start immediately.
00:17I don't...
00:18Tell me about the women in your party. Why are they all slimy? What sort of horror befell those two?
00:23Oh, they, uh, they just got swallowed by a couple of giant toads.
00:27What? Oh, if only I were there.
00:31What's up with this chick?
00:33I mean, as a knight, I cannot stand by and watch two tender young ladies be defiled by some creature.
00:40Whoa, red flag. She's giving me the crazy eye big time.
00:44My gut's telling me she's like Aqua Megamine, hopeless with a capital H.
00:49I don't recommend joining us. One of our members isn't what I'd call all that useful.
00:53And the other, she can only use her magic once a day. And I got no skills.
00:58Sorry to say this, but our party's trash, so you're better...
01:01That is exactly what I am looking for.
01:04In all honesty, I have a slight confession to make.
01:09Although I am confident in my defensive abilities, I am quite clumsy.
01:14In fact, none of my attacks ever hit their mark.
01:18Well, there you have it. My gut was right.
01:21That said, I will not hesitate to charge the front line!
01:24You can use me as your shield! Yes, use me!
01:27Yeah, too close!
01:28Being a Shiden never trained me for face-to-face situations like this!
01:32No, it's my adolescent virgin hormones!
01:34They're being overloaded by her hotness!
01:36Don't let her seduce you! Stay calm!
01:41Sorry. I can never use a woman as a shield.
01:44I wouldn't mind that.
01:46Yeah, well, we get eaten by monsters in every battle.
01:49No, I wouldn't mind that either!
01:50Huh?
01:52I was right.
01:54This girl is hopeless, just like the other two.
02:03No, I wouldn't mind that.
02:55I wouldn't mind that.
02:57Because the sky is theå½± of the new one, I could have been waiting for you.
03:06I would never have to wait for them.
03:10I would never have to wait for you.
03:10I would never have to wait for you.
03:10No, I won't have to forget you.
03:12Why not like it, or do it?
03:13It's everything that they use for you.
03:15And it's everything that I can do.
03:17We're participating now!
03:21Oh!
03:21Oh!
03:22Oh!
03:22Oh!
03:23Oh!
03:23Oh!
03:23Oh!
03:23Oh!
03:31Oh, brother. I can't believe I slept in till noon.
03:35Ta-da!
03:39Bro!
03:46Thank you! Oh, you're too kind!
03:49Oh, Kazuma, look! Don't you just love the new skill I acquired?
03:53It's a great addition to my already awesome set of powers.
03:57That's just a party trick, dork.
04:01Kodosuba!
04:04I have no idea how to cash my points in for new skills.
04:07I want to try, but I don't want to get a skill that's lame, you know?
04:14First, you have to find someone with a skill you want to teach you how to use it.
04:18After they do, the skill will appear on your card.
04:22Then, to finish learning it, just transfer your points over to the skill.
04:25So, like, if I had enough points and wanted to learn explosion magic, all I have to do is ask
04:30and you'd teach me?
04:31Yes, exactly! That's all you'd have to do, Kazuma!
04:34If you want to learn explosion magic, I can teach you as much as you want!
04:37When you think about it, is there any other skill that's more worthwhile to know?
04:41No, there most definitely is not.
04:42Just say the word and we shall walk the path of explosions together!
04:46Way too close for comfort.
04:50Easy, kiddo. Don't get so riled up.
04:52I've only got three points anyway, so it's not like you.
04:56He said, kiddo.
04:57Huh?
05:08He called me kiddo.
05:12I gotta find a quick and easy skill.
05:15Something cool.
05:16One that don't cost too much points.
05:18Here you are.
05:22Holy crap!
05:24We could not finish our talk because you said you were drunk and felt ill.
05:28I'm feeling better now.
05:29I was trying to let her down easy.
05:32Can't she take a hint?
05:33What do I do?
05:35Glad to hear.
05:36Now, shall we continue where we left off?
05:38I would like to join your party if...
05:40You can't and that's final!
05:44So fast, girl!
05:46Is she enjoying this?
05:48Ew!
05:51That's not how you do it, Darkness.
05:53You'll scare people away if you're that pushy.
05:55Um, who are you?
05:57My name is Chris.
05:59As you can see, I'm a thief.
06:00I'm also friends with this poor thing.
06:03Finally, a girl who seems like she's got her head on straight.
06:06Just now, I heard you talk about wanting to learn a skill.
06:09Well, how would you like to learn some thieving?
06:12Huh?
06:13Thief skills always come in handy here.
06:15Plus, it doesn't take all that many points to learn.
06:17Seriously?
06:18Seriously.
06:19Just buy me a drink and I'll be happy to teach you.
06:21That's it?
06:22All right, count me in.
06:25Barkeep, can I get an ice cold drink for the lady here?
06:30Konosuba!
06:33Okay, so there are all kinds of thief skills, like enemy detection and lurk.
06:37But I'll show you my personal favorite.
06:40Watch close.
06:41Ready?
06:42Yup.
06:43Ready when you are.
06:44Show me what you got.
06:45Deal?
06:56Hey!
06:57My coin pouch!
06:58That right there is a skill called steal.
07:01It nabs one random item and the higher your luck, the better the score.
07:04Anyway, that is how you use steal.
07:06Huh.
07:10Let's say you and I have a contest.
07:13I stole from you, now you steal from me.
07:15Whatever you get, you keep.
07:17Deal?
07:17Do not ask him to risk his money like that.
07:20Well, he is an adventurer.
07:22Taking a risk or two comes with the territory.
07:25Hmm.
07:25I could lose all the cash I have.
07:29Still, getting to have a duel of skills like this with someone?
07:33That's what I'm talking about.
07:35Finally, I get to do something adventure-y in this world.
07:39Sure, I'm in.
07:41All righty then.
07:42Have a look at your card and you'll see a section there labeled skills.
07:46You'll see the stuff I taught you and the points it takes to learn them.
07:50Enemy detection, one point.
07:52And lurk, one point.
07:54And pilfer, one point.
07:56And nature's beauty-
07:57Nature's beauty?
07:58Oh, that.
08:00Earlier in the bar, your ally was performing a party trick skill?
08:03That is its name.
08:05It says it costs five points to learn.
08:07For that?
08:08No, thank you.
08:31That's it.
08:31Done.
08:32All the skills you picked are yours now.
08:34Come at me, thief.
08:35You got it.
08:37Don't cry if I steal something you like.
08:40If you're lucky, you might get my magic dagger.
08:43It's worth more than 400,000 arrows.
08:45Whoa.
08:46But if you're unlucky, you might get these little rocks.
08:49Hey, that's not fair.
08:52I don't want to make this too easy for you.
08:55I love my dagger.
08:56Damn it.
08:57She just taught me something else.
08:58This definitely ain't Japan.
09:00It's survival of the fittest here.
09:02If I get tricked, I only got myself to blame.
09:07Here I go.
09:10Steal!
09:16Yes!
09:17I stole something!
09:23Let's see what I got.
09:27No way!
09:29This is better than I thought!
09:31Jackpot!
09:36Give me that, my panties!
09:39This isn't funny, Kazuma!
09:41This isn't funny, Kazuma!
09:42This isn't bad!
09:44Oh, what a truly savage act.
09:48I must join his party now more than ever!
09:52Konosuma!
09:54Oh, Kazuma!
09:56Oh, Kazuma!
09:56Where have you been all this time?
09:57You missed all of my dazzling party tricks!
10:00She doesn't look too happy.
10:02Oh, you see...
10:03Indeed.
10:04She taught Kazuma some of her thief skills just now.
10:07He used them on her, stole her panties, and then took all the money she had as ransom.
10:12Would you please let me handle this?
10:14He said I'd give him back his coin pouch, but he said that wasn't enough.
10:18I had to pay to get my panties back!
10:21He forced me to decide what my panties were worth!
10:24No!
10:24Stop talking!
10:25I mean, yeah, that's pretty much what happened, but still!
10:28He said if he didn't like the amount, he'd have my panties framed and hung on his wall
10:33like a trophy!
10:35Would you shut up already?
10:36You're gonna get me killed!
10:37Oh, God, every woman here looks like they want to chop my balls off!
10:40I need my balls!
10:42So, did you really learn a skill, or were you both just horsing around?
10:46Huh?
10:47Oh, I learned a skill, all right.
10:49Here goes!
10:50No!
10:52No!
10:56No!
10:58No!
11:00No!
11:00No!
11:01No!
11:02No!
11:03No!
11:04No!
11:05No!
11:08No!
11:11Because your class has gone from adventurer to pervert!
11:14Now then, may I have my panties back?
11:17It's a bit drafty.
11:19You are so icky!
11:21I-I wasn't trying to steal these!
11:23What if I get supposed to be random?
11:25This goes beyond savage!
11:26How dare you shame her in public like this!
11:29I cannot stand here and do nothing!
11:31Therefore, I shall ask you again!
11:33Will you let me join your party?
11:35Forget it!
11:40This chick is 100% freaky!
11:43And the last thing this party needs is another weirdo in it!
11:46Hey, Kadua?
11:47Is this person the one you were talking about?
11:49The one you spoke to while Megumin and I were in the bath yesterday?
11:53Konosuba!
11:56Hang on!
11:57According to her card, she's a crusader!
11:59We'd be crazy to turn down someone as powerful as her!
12:03This sucks!
12:04I so did not want these ladies to meet!
12:08Oh well!
12:09I'll try something different!
12:11Darkness!
12:12I'm sorry, but I haven't been totally honest with you!
12:16The thing is...
12:18Me and Aqua might look harmless...
12:20But our mission here is to bring down the Devil King!
12:23Mm-hmm!
12:24Wow!
12:25Are you serious?
12:26I know!
12:27Pretty awesome, huh?
12:29Anyway...
12:29We know how rough it's gonna get for us, and we're okay with that.
12:33But what about you, Darkness?
12:34If he catches a Lady Knight like you, do you know what he's gonna do?
12:38For starters, he'll chain you up and torture the hell out of you!
12:42Yes, I fully expect he would.
12:44For you see, since days of old, becoming his erotic plaything has been a female knight's duty.
12:49And that alone makes it worthwhile to go!
12:52Wait, what?
12:53Oh, sorry.
12:54Did I say something strange just now?
12:57Oh, never mind!
12:58I can deal with her later!
13:00Look, Megamine!
13:02I meant what I said.
13:04We're going after the Devil King, the strongest bean in this world!
13:07He's no joke!
13:08So don't feel like you have to come with us!
13:11My name is Megamine!
13:12Member of the Crimson Demon Clan!
13:14Wielder of Explosion!
13:16Their finest spell!
13:17The Devil King thinks he's superior to us,
13:20but I shall obliterate his vile presence with the strongest magic in the land!
13:25Oh, crap.
13:26I just made these two useless girls even more motivated!
13:30Hey, Kazuma?
13:32After hearing you say all that, I'm not so sure we should do this anymore.
13:35I mean, taking on the Devil King is pretty crazy.
13:38If anyone here should be motivated too, it's you!
13:41So don't start getting cold feet now!
13:44Emergency quest!
13:45Emergency quest!
13:46What the hell's that about?
13:48We need all Able Adventurers to assemble at the front gate!
13:51I repeat!
13:53All Able Adventurers, assemble at the front gate at once!
13:59They're coming!
14:00No one said they were going to show up today!
14:03Get the children aside!
14:05Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
14:09I hope you're all ready for this!
14:11I was born ready!
14:21Something's headed straight for us!
14:23I shall protect everyone.
14:25Stay close to me and you'll be fine.
14:27They said it's an emergency!
14:28Are monsters going to attack us?
14:30These aren't monsters, you silly!
14:32It's cabbage!
14:33Huh?
14:36This is gonna get ugly.
14:38A tempest cometh.
14:42It's Warby's time!
14:45Unleash the mayonnaise!
14:54What the hell?
15:03Attack!
15:05In this world, cabbages fly.
15:08During harvest time, when they've reached peak flavor,
15:12they don't sit around waiting to be eaten.
15:16They careen through the cities and meadows,
15:19across the continent and the ocean,
15:22until they reach a secluded place,
15:24where they eventually die without being eaten.
15:35It's such a waste.
15:37So we should catch as many of them as we can.
15:40And turn them into delicious meals to eat!
15:44Attention!
15:46The annual cabbage harvesting season has finally arrived!
15:49This year's crop is the best yet,
15:51and we're offering 10,000 heiress per head!
15:54We have cages to store them in,
15:56so catch as many as you can!
16:00Ugh, can I just go back to bed?
16:03Kazuma,
16:04here is my chance.
16:06I will show you my skill as a crusader,
16:08and prove my worth!
16:26She can't hit a single one of them!
16:38Look out!
16:51Look out!
16:52No!
16:52Retreat to safety!
16:53I have this!
16:55Jortis!
17:02Oh, no!
17:05Her armor!
17:07forget about us m'lady save yourself i will not oh man she can't think i cannot abandon my comrades
17:19in battle i can't i won't wow now that's a knife run away m'lady run
17:32they're watching me
17:37rough uncouth men are looking at my bare skin and getting aroused it's shameful
17:45filthy glorious she's getting off on it she's sacrificing her body to protect those men
17:51we knights should learn from her example no she's just freaky
17:56quake in fear cabbages for no one can stand against my lethal explosion spell
18:02everyone freaky too
18:07when i'm faced with such a massive army of foes how can i resist the sweet sweet urge to unleash
18:13explosion i cannot yeah you can darkness shrouded in light frenzied blaze clad in night
18:22in my clan's name reveal the fall of thine origin i summon the root of thy power a power so
19:00there's plenty of cabbage to go around so eat up i can't believe it
19:06how can a simple cabbage stir fry be so damn tasty wait i didn't come to a fantasy world to
19:13fight
19:13cabbages well there's no doubt that you're a crusader even without your armor you're so fierce
19:19those cabbages couldn't get past you
19:22well actually i'm just built solidly protecting someone with my body is all i'm good for
19:29aqua your nature's beauty spell was perfect the cold water quenched everyone's thirst on the
19:35battlefield and kept all the cabbages fresh in the cages nature's beauty nature's beauty
19:43oh it was nothing that's why having an archpriest around is important thank you for what squirting
19:49water well an archpriest's magical water is the purest really your spell was astounding megamine
19:55really you wiped out an entire swarm of cabbage in one blow really that's crimson demon power
20:00breathtaking isn't it yes i've never been hit by such firepower before don't go making a habit of it
20:14by the way kazuma you were pretty amazing out there yourself i agree when you turned invisible
20:21with your lurk skill and attacked the enemy from behind with steel it was handled with the precision
20:26of an assassin truly impressive kazuma by the holy name of me i hereby bestow upon you the title of
20:34great cabbage thief god put a sock in it oh what did i ever do to deserve this life yes
20:40well now you
20:41all know what i am capable of as crusader and ally so once again i am darkness even though i
20:49wield a
20:49two-handed sword please do not expect too much of me i'm far too clumsy and my attacks rarely hit
20:55their
20:56mark however i make an impenetrable wall our party is turning out to have quite the impressive roster
21:02don't you think first we have me an archpriest then megamine an archwizard and now darkness a
21:09crusader there aren't many parties where three out of four of the members are advanced classes
21:17she was you know normal i wouldn't have a problem with her joining i mean she's so hot
21:25still well kazuma now that we are allies do not hesitate to use me as your shield
21:32she's kinky a real life masochist to some folks out there i bet this looks like the perfect setup
21:38but from where i'm sitting it's a recipe for disaster if i fail to live up to my duties feel
21:44free to reprimand me harshly abandon me to the clutches of your enemies if you wish
21:50i would not mind their clutches at all oh good sir i look forward to working with you
22:08you
22:15you
22:29The sea from the岬
22:32I can fly a boat
22:36The wind is blowing
22:39I can fly
22:43I can fly
22:45I can fly
22:46I can fly
22:49I can fly
22:49I can fly
22:55In the south of the wind, the wind is coming, and the wind is coming.
23:06The spring is right next to the next day.
23:14The洗濯物 is taking place.
23:30To my teacher, I'm learning all kinds of things in this parallel world I'm in, like how society works, what
23:37being human is, and what it means to be alive.
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